People in Canada are making me feel stupider than normal

Apparently famous blogger Bub and Pie just heard that at the Blogher conference I insisted that she lived in London, England rather than London, Canada (which I didn’t even know existed).

I’m having flashbacks about the time that Marnie had to explain to me that although yes, she was British Columbian that didn’t actually mean she was British or Columbian. 

It’s almost enough to make me regret picking “Artificial Cow Insemination” as a high school elective rather than “Geography”.  But then I remember the light in Bessie’s eye the moment she saw an unqualified High School girl with a turkey baster that would bring her a child and that makes it all worth it.

 By the way, I’ve recently been told by my “citified” friends that many of them didn’t take the majority of their high school classes in an Ag Barn (or any sort of barn at all!) and that in the “real world” most people don’t need to know how to judge cotton crops or how to kill boll weevils.  Next thing you’ll be telling me is that you people didn’t have “Bring your tractor to school day” and you don’t buy your leather notebooks from the saddle shop.

The whole thing is confusing and I suspect Canada is just fucking with me. 


44 replies. read them below or add one

  1. As a Canadian, I say HAHA you rock 🙂 I really never know were people are from in the US either, I just nod my head politely.

  2. Dude, we are all just fucking with you!

    Love the Batman symbol in the flag.

  3. That’s funny. I always thought South Americans were people from Georgia.

  4. you are totally cracking me up right now dude.

  5. Dude, at least she didn’t post a picture of you with alcohol in your hand.

    If I ever need a cow inseminated, I’ll know just who to turn to. What a relief.

  6. The other day someone tried to tell me that they lived in “the Georgia that’s next to Russia”.
    Yeah…like I’m falling for that one.

  7. Oh Jenny, I love you more and more every day. Is that creepy? Boll weevil eradication is HUGE where I’m from!

  8. Hey! We have bring your tractor to school day! And I learned how to properly notch a hog’s ears for identification in Ag in high school. Those citified folks have NO idea what they are missing.

  9. At least we know that their chocolate doesn’t really fizz.

  10. I love you.

    ps: bring beergaritas.

  11. Being from Atlanta and all, it took me until at LEAST seventh grade to believe that there was another Georgia (to be fair, the Cold War ended when I was in 4th, and then until at LEAST eleventh to stop being pissed about it. (What can I say? Am a patriot, state-wise.) When I MET my first Georgian in college, I thought someone had slipped me acid, or something.

    Speaking of which, what’s a beergarita? Can I get in on that?

  12. This is my first time visiting your blog, and it is hilarious. The Canadian flag AND the light in Bessie’s eye is almost too much for one post.

  13. Humph. Well, now I am sad because all we had were tractor parades and mazes in a cornfield. There were no boll weevils…ever. Damn.

  14. Bossy regularly used to make statements about visiting that beautiful country, Rome – and relocating to the very famous city of New Mexico.

  15. Oh Jenny. I think I love you.

  16. Actually, YOU came and told me as soon as you got back from BlogHer – but I just remembered it because it made me feel SOOOO good (but not quite as good as being referred to as “famous blogger” just now).

  17. Really?! *I* told you?
    That seems entirely too honest for me. Was I still drunk at the time? Did I proposition you?

  18. Kyle once made a similar mistake, but it was in favor of Canada. His rugby team was playing Northern VA Community College, also known as NoVA. He was disappointed to learn that they were not, in fact, from Nova Scotia.

    I do like that flag. I think that design ought to be used for some Canadian blogger swag next year at BlogHer.

  19. Shit. You’re on to us.

  20. it’s what we do, babe. (did you know you had so many Canucks reading??!!)

    you’re more likely to find your Ag Barn compatriots up here, anyway, you know (though not me. I was in 4H, but not the cow insemination kind…)

  21. Nice to have you back in rare form, Jenny. I know someone (and I swear it wasn’t me) who, when pulling phone lists for a telemarketing firm thought that the abbreviation for New England was NE. Couldn’t figure out why all the contacts were in the midwest…lol.

  22. Canada? You mean that’s a real country??

  23. hee, hee….. I love the Batman flag. But, then you would have to understand my feelings for Batman….

    Canada? Where’s that? Texas is all I know. (Okay not really but ya know… I try.)

  24. Well, up here in the GWN (Great White North), we have a choice of two plants on our flag. One has 7 leaves and is generally smoked…er…favoured by most Canadians.

  25. Dude. Who leaked the memo?

  26. I once insisted to my friend’s father that Latin was spoken in Latin America.

    To this day, I have never seen a man laugh so hard (oh, don’t know why it made it worse, but he was a Man of the Cloth.)

    TO be fair, I was 13 at the time.

  27. What the hell…do any non-Canadians read this blog? I had no idea I had so many northern readers. But then I guess there’s not much to do up in Canada except read blogs and ride moose. Mooses. Meese. What’s plural for “moose”?

    Ali – you, me, Melissa, Melissa’s strawberry shortcake carafe and a whole mess of Texas beergarita’s. Book your plane ticket now. Bring aspirin.

  28. hey hey hey – Jenny in all fairness there are those of us in TX that do read your blog… and what are you doing inviting other to experience the real world of beergarita’s and forgetting to invite me?? After all – I corrupted you and introduced you to them… I should at least get a glass! HA Now…. onto the insemination bit. Cow insemination is EASY compared to Chicken insemination…. try that one on for size. Hmmmm probably wrong choice of words there huh? or as your Canadian fans would say – wrong choice of words ‘eh?

  29. We shouldn’t have told you so much when we met you in Chicago. It really should be the Superman symbol, eh? You do know that Superman is Canadian right?

  30. Smoke some BC weed and your problems will magically disappear. Promise. I do like the “bat flag” much better than the “pot flag”. I hate Canadian stereotypes. Eh.

    PS I love you.

  31. *snort*

    i feel you girl…

    my dad works at the tx boll weevil eradication project!

  32. 32
    The Original Lisa

    Oh how I miss “Bring Your Tractor to School Day.” They have that here in the OC too, but instead of Tractor it’s Masarati. And instead of “cow insemination”, it’s “try not to poke anyone’s eye out with your new fake boobs.” Those things can be dangerous.

  33. Yeah, we had so much fun fucking around with you in Chicago… we just couldn’t quit. Now it’s a national pastime. With updates on the nightly news.

    And don’t worry, Misterpie once got all confused over what people from Greece speak now if they don’t speak ancient greek there any more? Um, honey? He got teased for DAYS.

  34. I just know that most of them live by the train tracks (:

  35. You know we’ve been plotting to kidnap you and turn you Canadian don’t you?

  36. Damn girl! You made me piss my pants with this one.

  37. London, Ontario, Canada REPRESENT!

    Also, if you ever want to learn artificial pig insemination, we gotcha covered.

    Erica’s last blog post..New Skillz!

  38. my great-grandmother’s name was bessie.

  39. Strangest thing. I type in “The Bloggess” in Google, and the first thing that comes up is this post. I know this post has been up for ages, but I live in London, ONTARIO, so I figure what I have to say is relevant.
    What I was really looking for was this blog people are raving about. They’re gaga for some chick with huge balls, a wild sense of humor, and some Guy Kawasaki on the side. That’s my kind of blog.
    Thanks for keeping the real London (and Canada) on the map.

    Elle’s last blog post..Things to Come

  40. Hey now, you still have lots of non-Canadian readers. In fact, I know a Texan who reads your blog faithfully even though you A) never visit her blog anymore B) tease her with promises of drunken slumber parties, and C) cheat on her with her own husband.

    *sigh* I don’t want to love you, but I do!

    The Introvert’s last blog what credit?

  41. While this post is waaaay old and I’m creepin’ in the archives I HAD to say:

    We totally had Drive Your Tractor to School Day. And I always got excited about it haha

  42. Redneck mommy baby shower…

    By Jenny (bloggess & mom of 4 year old) My friend Tanis (redneck mommy) just adopted a sweet little boy and so to honor him we’re all supposed to shower her with personal anecdotes about being rednecks. Sadly, I know……

  43. Just got to say, as a newly enlightened reader who has just discovered your blog, this is awesome! It is awesome because until last September, when I left to go to university in Ottawa, I lived in London, Ontario, Canada for 18 consecutive years (not bragging or anything). But even in Canada I have to tell people “no, not THAT London. The boring one near Detroit.”
    keep on blogging
    end rant

  44. Because fake cows deserve babies too?

    Miriam recently posted UPDATED: Leg Three!.

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