I don’t even need to post about Bubba-the-half-paralyzed-tub-cat today because Serotonin-Cha-Cha-Cha has done it for me, and although she’s delusional and a little bit totally crazy, I think she’s right. This cat is trying to destroy me. Yesterday we had to take him back to the doctor because he was dehydrated and so the doctor gave him a “camel hump” which means they shot a giant load of water into his back so he looked like a kitty-Quasimoto. I was afraid that when I gave him his vitamin shot in his back later that water would start squirting out of it like a leaky water balloon, but within a few hours the water hump had gravitated downward, giving him these gigantic, pendulous man boobs. So now in order to find his paralyzed legs I have to physically pick up his man boobies and move them out of the way which is totally embarrassing for both of us. I can’t even look him in the eye anymore. Also the doctor thinks he may need a transfusion and since he’s purebred persian he would apparently need some sort of special black-market magical persian blood which is “really, really expensive”. Of course it is. We told the doctor that if Bubba didn’t make it we’d drain all his blood out of his body and sell it back to him to recoup some of the $1500 we’ve given him already. He didn’t laugh. Maybe it was because we said we’d bring the blood to him in an old diet coke bottle. Doctors are so picky.
*Cat cartoon from Toothpaste for Dinner, via Serotonin-cha-cha-cha.
Ha! You got me 🙂 Now if I could only find the crotch-flashing post…
Lindsay’s last blog post..Wait! Come Back! I Can Be Cooler!
I think I might know where you can find some magical persian cat fluids. Crazy, I know.
Sara’s last blog post..National Good Looking Person Day
I think the kitty camel hump freaks me out more than the resulting kitty moobs. I, too, would expect him to burst like a water balloon.
Nicole P.’s last blog post..She’s Gone Crazy
Ooh, my parents cat used to have to get those water injections! I think my mom had to give them to him on a regular basis once he became a very old kitty. It was kind of freaky. I hope Bubba starts getting better soon!
Erin’s last blog post..Layne’s Turn in the Spot Light
That is seriously gross to think about how they get supplies for the kitty blood banks.
So now, of course, I am trying to figure out a way to set one up.
markira’s last blog post..File Under: the girl is going to give me a heart attack
Poor Bubba. Poor you. I hope everything works out, for everybody.
Carrie’s last blog post..I’m so happy
Oh my god. Your poor cat. This just keeps getting more ridiculous.
Jess’s last blog post..Let’s talk business. And weddings.
Thanks for directing me to Serotonin. She is fabulous. Still praying to the goddess of pussy for your kitty… I love how kinky that sounds.
SassyPants’s last blog post..We interupt this regularly scheduled blog
OMG, LMAO, Jenny and the vet story is just plain funny!
We (my daughter and I) are currently waiting to hear if her newest dog is gonna lose his right eye….www.oohashinypen.blogspot.com
Sandy’s last blog post..Yippy, Jif
Oh for the Love of God that poor cat.
Luann’s last blog post..It’s OVER…Move ON!!!
Wow, and it just keeps getting more and more uhhh, interesting? Hey, did you ever find a home for Leo?
mommiebear2’s last blog post..Troubled
Yep. Leo was adopted along with another cat they had as well. Yeehaw for the internets.
See, that ain’t right. That just ain’t right. Paralysis AND man boobs?
I’m trying to think if I actually love my cat enough to spend $1,500 on her … I mean, she’s cool and all. Do they offer kitty loans at WAMU?
This makes me sad 🙁 No one deserves to have watery manboobs.
I’m gonna go cry now. Thanks.
ali’s last blog post..Various and Sundry
I’m glad you’re able to keep a sense of humor through this, but I felt so bad because I was laughing at the things you typed…But it’s all about your cat being sick…So I shouldn’t be laughing…But you’re the one being funny, darn it…
3carnations’s last blog post..This, that and the other thing
You’re laughing at this? You are so sick. I was crying while I wrote it. Truly.
Actually, at a certain point I think you kind of have to see the humor in everything or else you go completely balmy.
You’re right sister. It was one of the Indigo Girls…yeah, I can’t freaking tell them apart that said, “if i didn’t laugh, i’d cry myself to sleep.”
Persians are freaking expensive. Ask me one day about the time that BillyBob went flying four stories and the resulting vet bill. He’s currently 12 with failing kidneys. Christ. On. A. Crutch. it is expensive.
I’m sorry Jenny. What an ordeal.
But…glad to see your humor hasn’t deserted you. And thinking, you’re always thinking. Selling the blood. There you go.
$1500 was our first vet bill. I don’t even know how much Friday will cost. I am scared to ask.
Julie Pippert’s last blog post..Hump Day Hmm for January 30, 2008: Sweet Dreams
Weird and sad. Poor, poor Jenny.
Simply Jenn’s last blog post..A sweet moment after a crappy situation
Man Boobies…
Jeeze, most of us have them… Of course we aren’t shaved and having Jenny juggle them around for us.
Prayers for Bubba.
Houston’s last blog post..My Away Message
Uh I’m still waiting to see the picture of the cat-man boobs!!
OK, I didn’t laugh until Houston painted the picture of being shaved and having “Jenny juggle them around for us”.
Poor kitty. Poor you. I hope he’s feeling better soon!
avonlea’s last blog post..Note to Self and Thoughts on Paradise
I didn’t know that was possible. Ugh.
Carrie’s last blog post..What I Never Expected
Ahh yes the cat water hump, which is another one of my failed business venture, it was a mobile cat humping/wheelbarrow repair business. I called it Pussy Wheel-o. Never worked.
furiousball’s last blog post..this is one for the ladies?
umm $1500?! that’s 2 months salary for me and you’ve spent it on a cat. wow…
only you could have a cat with man boob lol
Biddy’s last blog post..i owe, i owe, it’s back to work i go
Oh Jenny, I’ll say a prayer for Bubba and his boobies.
And now I’ll add that one to the long list of sentences I never thought I’d have to utter (much less Jesus would have to hear :).
Greta’s last blog post..DTBMULFer of the Day
why do I read you at work?
flutter’s last blog post..Reasons to eat before racquetball
There is nothing funny about a sick pussy with man boobs.
Except when you write about it.
Hope the kitty feels better soon.
Redneck Mommy’s last blog post..Worms out of the Woodwork
We had to do that for one of our dear departed kitties, only it just stayed on her back. Hopefully he feels better soon…because for us $1K was our limit. Love ya kitty, but for a “grim to poor” survival prognosis, no more surgeries.
Stacy’s last blog post..Under construction
Not only did you have to touch man boobs, but those boobs were on a cat. I don’t even know where to start with that image.
motherbumper’s last blog post..A whole new world…
Persian cat blood must be imported from Persia.
At least that’s what our vet told us.
mothergoosemouse’s last blog post..May you drop your curling iron into a kitty-scented pom
Poor kitty.
I think I found your blog thru Wil Wheaton’s yesterday but I had a liter of Nyquil in me and can’t be held responsible for my surfing over the past few days.
Jaybird’s last blog post..The road to best intentions is paved with Hell…..
Ok, don’t take this the wrong way, but you’ve made me feel better about the $150 I just spent finding out there was nothing wrong with our guinea pig. But jezuz…$1500 is a shitload of money! But really, what choice did you have?
(the other) Jeff’s last blog post..Dan Dan he’s our man!
When I first read the post title about how much it costs to have your cat humped I was really thinking about how there were other cats who would probably do that for free. Then I read the post.
AB’s last blog post..You Are Here. Where Were You Going?
No one deserves man boobs, but especially not a sick kitty.
Poor thing.
Chicky’s last blog post..Who are you calling Motherly?
Poor kitty. I think the vet needs an attitude adjustment.
How much does 2 humps cost? I mean, is there a discount? Does this work for dogs too?
mark’s last blog post..Adventures in Video Rentals
Poor kitty… Man boobs, camel hump, what’s next???
I hope he gets well soon, otherwise it will cost you a fortune in kitty therapy.
Lauraszoo’s last blog post..Gratitude
Oh, Jenny… I love you for keeping your sense of humor even with a defective pussy, making me laugh out loud AND turning me on to Seratonin cha-cha-cha.
This is without a doubt the funniest thing I have encounterd in at least 3 days…and I teach high school to at-risk kids whose main purpose in life is to embarrass the hell out of each other and the staff.
After I clean up the milk (it shot out of my nose while reading about the man boobs) I’ll say a prayer for you and Bubba!
Reddlissa’s last blog post..The Evil That Surrounds Me
Kitty man boobs = koobs? Kmoobs? Either way, not good.
Po bubba.
Po Bloggess.
Dr. Ding’s last blog post..Dr. Ding Revealed! Sorta.
Persian blood is the new opium. And that is not funny.
No one should have to move aside man boobies. Of any species.
Lotta’s last blog post..Late Night Crafting
Wow, your vet is expensive. I’ve given my cats daily fluids before (for kidney problems). There are websites that sell a whole back of the stuff for around $6.00, and it takes about 5 minutes to do.
I do hope your cat gets well. I understand what it’s like to go through money like water to get them better (see first paragraph).
midlife mommy’s last blog post..We’ve Finally Decided
I mean a whole BAG of the stuff . . . it’s too early for me to be commenting (sorry).
midlife mommy’s last blog post..We’ve Finally Decided
Man. That sucks. I thought I might have to start table dancing to pay for my dogs vet bills.
Will consult my black market sources for some persian cat blood for you …
Sandra’s last blog post..A Bloody Good Time
Tell Bubba that I’ve been known to pray for little cats.
Pamela’s last blog post..Wildflowers in Winter – A Winter Image
Jesus Jenny, this is crazier than my cat Anus who pulled all of her hair out, and the vet told me she had self-induced Alopecia and told me that she needed to be on, and I quote, “kitty Prozac”, and that a one-month course was $400. So I scooped up my manic cat and took her home and told her to pull her hair out all she wanted, she was a good little kitty and I loved her for who she was, not how she looked.
mamatulip’s last blog post..About today
Poor Bubba…
Poorer Jenny…
REALLY poorer Jenny.
Hilariously written, but I’m not laughing. Is that okay? I still find the humor in the midst, but I can’t help but feel your pain :/.
Robin’s last blog post..Bacon Tomato Cups
On the bright side, I predict your blog traffic will soar after this post. I wrote about “man boobs” in a different context, and was surprised to find what a popular topic it is among . . . um . . . pervs.
The Mom Bomb’s last blog post..Eye-Opener
Considering Mom Bomb’s post, I think you should make a DVD where you do nothing but juggle Bubba’s boobs for the camera. The proceeds should defray the cost of Bubba’s treatments. Call it “Puss ‘N’ Boobs.”
C’s last blog post..A Brief Look At The Illustrious History of Dogs: Eve and the Saluki
$100 is awefully expensive for humping. I know some horny men who would do if for a lot less than that.
Tracey’s last blog post..Leaving on a Jet Plane
I feel so bad for Bubba! I mean you. I mean both of you.
We gave our cat transfusions too, oh, it’s tough.
Damselfly’s last blog post..What I’d Wear Wednesday: Etsy!
Kitty man boobs? Oh man, you crack me up. I can just see the whole thing.
I just don’t get why the doctor was so picky about the Diet Coke bottle though…
Christine’s last blog post..Remember 1-31-07?
Yuo hda my cta hupmed? Adn it cots me hwo mhuc?
Juts oen of thsoe dasy agan.
Swampy’s last blog post..Multiple Intelligent MeMe
Ya, I considered insurance for my pets at one time. Now I just have the number to the place that will cremate them and put them in an urn. Much cheaper. No pet hospitals for my dogs. Sounds cruel, but I can’t afford an $8000 gal bladder on a 15 year old dog.
~Jef
Edge’s last blog post..Presidential Succession
I can’t believe I forgot to comment on this one. I felt so bad laughing at the mental picture of his kitty boobs but you paint such a vivid picture.
Shoegirl’s last blog post..Houston Crime
Good lord. I am going to hell.
I just laughed at your cat again.
LaLa’s last blog post..No ‘moking? Day 34
love toothpaste for dinner- they are my friends in my town! love them- they are brill!
yr blog makes me laugh and I love it!!!!
amy’s last blog post..It’s easy to remember/remember my love that way
Why am I just now finding this blog???????? Between the two of us, we’ve funded a research wing at the American Veterinary Research and F*ckoff I’m Billing You For Shit You Don’t Need Center.
mary’s last blog post..Seriously, Too Tired
Persian blood is the new opium. And that is not funny.
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