We went to see Cloverfield this weekend and we got about halfway through before I got a migraine and Victor had to go throw up. Victor, being A Man, was shocked and mortified to get motion sickness. (This is the same guy that was lost at sea several years ago and was the only guy onboard who didn’t get violently seasick.) But yesterday he was still throwing up so it turns out that it wasn’t motion sickness at all but actually the stomach flu. I’ve never seen anyone so damned relieved to realize they had the stomach flu. Guys are weird.
Anyway, I sent out an email to a friend who’d seen the movie, labeled “CLOVERFIELD EMERGENCY! Call me quick!” because I really wanted to know how it ended and I couldn’t find anything that made sense on the internet. So if you are here because you typed in “What happens at the end of Cloverfield because I can’t remember anything after I had the seizure?” then here’s your answer:
Everybody dies. I think. Or maybe not. Definitely one girl explodes and then the chick that looks like Jessica Alba gets impaled. But she might still be alive. Wait, is it Jessica Alba or Jessica Beil? I always get those two confused. Which one was on Sin City? That one. Also, the monster is a giant baby and it hates the Statue of Liberty.
Dude. Someone get me a job as a movie reviewer. I am awesome at this.
Related: Best question ever asked about Cloverfield: “Did this really happen?“