You know Timbaland’s “The Way I Are“? In spite of the title which makes me cringe, I cannot stop loudly singing this song every time I hear it. It’s a duet by Timbaland and his girlfriend about how he doesn’t have any money (Really, Timbaland? You don’t have any money?) but she still lets him grope her anyway. I was sure the chick was singing “Hey baby, it’s alright, you ain’t gotta flaunt it for me. You can still touch my nuts for free.” which is sweet because there just aren’t enough transvestite love songs out there, but then I read the lyrics and it turns out that what she’s actually saying is that he can still touch her “love” for free, not her nuts, which is just disappointing. Also instead of “You ain’t gotta flaunt it for me” she’s actually saying “You ain’t gotta floss for me.” No joke. That’s what she’s saying. Whatever, non-transvestite. You may not be charging for a nut-touch but if he loves you, he’ll floss. That’s just good hygiene.
ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:
I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:
Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.
Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.
Tripping on Air: Trip and fall without wrecking the pretty. Life hacks from a girl with MS. #babeswithmobitiltyaids
Hyperbole and a Half Solutions and Other Problems.
Heather Mosko: Sharing the weird and crafty I find along the way as I research and write my next mystery.
The Mack Files: A blog by, for, about and celebrating the okay cliche.
Kieran’s Bullshit Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.
Candid Kay: A heaping pile of steaming good.
SNARK HEART: Subversive jewelry for trying times. Specializing in helping you say what you really want to say…in the prettiest way possible.
Talking Tatas: For the Love of Your Boobs.
Polly Morse Is My Human: Life as seen by Suki the Cat. Laugh until you cry.
David Thorne: So fucking awesome it hurts.
Reasons my friends hate me: “Isn’t laughing at your own insecurity, anxiety, and depression hilarious? I certainly try to convince myself of that with these comic strips.”
The (Not) It Girl: For women who love men. And vice-versey.