You know Timbaland’s “The Way I Are“? In spite of the title which makes me cringe, I cannot stop loudly singing this song every time I hear it. It’s a duet by Timbaland and his girlfriend about how he doesn’t have any money (Really, Timbaland? You don’t have any money?) but she still lets him grope her anyway. I was sure the chick was singing “Hey baby, it’s alright, you ain’t gotta flaunt it for me. You can still touch my nuts for free.” which is sweet because there just aren’t enough transvestite love songs out there, but then I read the lyrics and it turns out that what she’s actually saying is that he can still touch her “love” for free, not her nuts, which is just disappointing. Also instead of “You ain’t gotta flaunt it for me” she’s actually saying “You ain’t gotta floss for me.” No joke. That’s what she’s saying. Whatever, non-transvestite. You may not be charging for a nut-touch but if he loves you, he’ll floss. That’s just good hygiene.
Subscribe to the bloggess, y'all.
ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:
I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:
Flourish in Progress: (T)hug Life: Part hood. Part good.
Pregnancy Calendar at Alpha Mom: Amalah’s week-by-week guide to the miracle of pregnancy and all the various indignities that come with it.
Heather Mosko: Sharing the weird and crafty I find along the way as I research and write my next mystery.
The Mack Files: Digesting life in bite-sized pieces through the lens of clichés, quotes & “truisms”. Often irreverent, always honest.
Candid Kay: A heaping pile of steaming good.
Hyperbole and a Half Solutions and Other Problems.
Talking Tatas: For the Love of Your Boobs.
Polly Morse Is My Human: Life as seen by Suki the Cat. Laugh until you cry.
No Pithy Phrase: Is my freak flag upside down again?
Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive, or those hoping to get into heaven.
Situation Normal: Funny slice-of-life stories. Readers compare him to Dave Barry, David Sedaris, and Larry David. Basically, everyone agrees that it’s “funny” and David-related.
Unlifestyled: Cooking, cocktails, coffee, kiddos, coloring and chaos.
The Corso Papers: Where Random Thoughts Go to Become Words.
Cultured Monk: Straight talk about Religion, Psychology and Philosophy.
David Thorne: So fucking awesome it hurts.