49 thoughts on “Happy Early Valentine’s Day, internets”

Read comments below or add one.

  2. I like to see that my favorite bloggess is using my favorite weapon to destroy my favorite stupid “holiday” target.

    Happy Serpentine, Bloggess!

  3. I am sooooo totally touched that you care enough to hit send 😉 Also…I promise not to use this holiday to send everyone I know an e-greeting akin to the “elfing myself” video that I COULD NOT resist last Christmas. My whole family…as elves…dancing!

    Greta’s last blog post..Diet Pop Lards You Up

  31. I love you guys. Truly.

    Also, I love all the other links you guys suggested. Annetaintor.com is so frilliant I want to steal them all and open my own store selling her purloined cards. I’ll call it stolenfromannetaintor.com. No one will suspect a thing.

  36. Jenny- I love you. Will you marry me? I’m marrying my housecleaner too because she does such an amazing job. We could have 3 husbands and a housecleaner. Isn’t that every woman’s dream? We could go out, get drunk and drunk dial everyone we’ve ever met. It would be awesome.

    Simply Jenn’s last blog post..I know what my next job will be….

  37. By the way, congratulations on apparently crashing someecards.com! The overload of visitors going there directly from your site has to be the reason they’ve dropped off the ‘net.

  39. Well, if you hadn’t broken the Internet, I would have sent you a really offensive card from someecards.com. But it’s supposed to be the thought that counts, right? So just know in your heart that I was thinking really offensive thoughts. But only in the nicest possible way. Happy Valentine’s Day.

  41. I liked the one about Vanhalentine’s Day. I think that’s the one I’m going to celebrate from now on.

  49. I seriously love this. Of course, very few people comment on my blog, but i’m ok with that.

    I agree, while holding the ability to disagree firmly in had,with at least some percentage of the comments if said percentage is smaller than 1 but greater than -1 million.

    Your blog is funny. And you may quote me on that.

    Michael’s last blog post..TT # 8 or 9, I don’t know

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Well today has taken a turn.
Continued from last post: STILL ALIVE. Small headache. Do not feel like dancing at a rave all night. Still not sure what I inhaled but…Found the tiniest of hallmarks on all three pieces. Is it the universal sign for “you done been murdered up”?
What is this and am I going to die? It came with some miniatures I wanted but this one was very odd and when I finally managed to pry it apart a bunch of white powder flew out onto me and I may have inhaled it.
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Barking at the Moon: If your dog is your furry child, you will laugh out loud at Tracy Beckerman’s book about her family & a one-dog wrecking ball named Riley.

Game Night Kit: All-in-one classic card game kits make the perfect gift, but you’ll want them for yourself, too! Lets skip book club tonight, drink wine & play games instead ~time together is magic!

Kieran’s Humor: Not suitable for children, the sensitive or those hoping to get into heaven.

Ingram Hills Dental: Local San Antonio badass dentist willing to talk and laugh you off the dental cliff. Military wife, mom and lover of sarcasm and teeth.

Perfectionist Anonymous: Proudly serving unpolished working motherhood, with bipolar depression and hilarity on the side.

Road Tested:  The new album from Dylan Brody and Chauncey Bowers drops for digital download on July 20th! Get it for just $5 with pre-purchase!

Ghost Games: Play at your peril. Eight spine-tingling short stories about paranormal games. It is the perfect book for spooky season!

Just Another Meat-Eating Dirtbag: A memoir: ‘A charming, often hilarious look at how love is actually the worst.’-Tom Hart, author of the NYT bestseller Rosalie Lighting

Scaredy Cat Travels: Traveling the world with the worst carry-on anxiety.

Things I Like To Pee On: Paws down the most amusing children’s book of the season. With illustrations by artist Drake Barry, this book will tickle readers of all ages as they follow a bulldog on his daily urological adventures.

A Thousand Miles to Graceland by Kristen Mei Chase: The journey of a thousand miles begins with sequins and a beehive wig in this funny and tender novel about Mothers, daughters and the surprising power of Elvis.

Welcome to xanaru: A mostly funny blog about the quest for happiness through authenticity, Great Danes and indiscriminate swearing. Plus hand-painted, custom artwork on bags, jackets, backpacks & more.

The Feely Human Collective: A space for the big-hearted, the highly sensitive, the activists, meaning makers, and mental health advocates. A space to grow and grapple with the wonders of empathy, vulnerability, and emotional curiosity and be seen in all your beautiful wholeness.

Stix Yarn: We live in the beautiful mountains of Montana, sell gorgeous yarns and unique fabrics, and offer lots of opinions on the best ways to get the most out of said mountains, yarn, and fabric.

Quantum Possum: an inclusive, neurodivergence-affirming graphic novel taking readers on a wacky & frequently sidetracked adventure through Cosmic Bog, helping creatures in need and including everyone in the fun.

Acrylic Diva’s Online Painting Class: paint yourself happy from the comfort of your home. Stress free, easy art instruction with a seasoned professional artist. It’s the most fun you can have in your pajamas. Really.

Paris Writers: Join best-selling novelists Laurie Frankel, Ann Garvin, and Lauren Grodstein for a week of practical information – and inspiration! – in Paris this summer.

The Second: Colleen Burns Durda’s candid memoir about a suburban mom with a side hustle-she’s The Second Coming. Laugh, cry and learn how she copes with her bipolar diagnosis.

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