She’s so cute it makes me want to push her down

 Conversation with a friend whose real name is not actually “DiscoJamboree”: 

DiscoJamboree:  Your kid is so cute it’s ridiculous.

hat.jpg

Me:  I know.  Sometimes she’s so damned blonde and dimply it almost makes me mad.  She’s like a caricature of adorableness. 

DiscoJamboree:  Doesn’t it just piss you off sometimes?

Me:  Yeah, I’m all “It comes so easy for you, doesn’t it?  You think you’re better than me?”  And then I just want to push her down.  But then I feel really bad about it.

DiscoJamboree:  Meh.  I asked my brother-in-law how my niece is doing and he was all “Oh, she’s two so she’s kind of being a dick right now.”  I think it’s pretty natural to not like your kid sometimes.

Moral:  It’s awesome to have friends who won’t call you a monster when you tell them your toddler would totally be perfect for a Hitler-youth poster.

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Speaking of DiscoJamboree, after much prodding from me he finally got a blog

Email from DiscoJamboree:  So I’m calling my blog  DiscoJamboree.com.

Me:  I loveDiscoJamboree.  It reminds me of the double-dutch-disco-tech-tv-hottie line from “Loose Lips”.  Except I have a problem spelling jamboree.  I always want to add a “u” to it.

DiscoJamboree:  ME TOO!  Spell check on word totally set me straight…stupid paperclip.

Me:

paperclip.jpg

DiscoJambouree:  How did you do that?

Me:  Image generator.  It’s addictive.

DiscoJamboree:  You are my new favorite person.  Don’t tell my girlfriend or Jesus.

Me:  Don’t you mean ‘favourite’?

DiscoJamboree:  Yes.  Yes I dou.

PS.  Remember how I quit Mama Drama to start a new blog?  I think I just quit that one too.

Comment of the day:  Can I photoshop kittens in her armpits and rainbow brite giving her a hug? I promise not to draw a hitler mustache on rainbow brite this time. ~ furiousball

84 thoughts on “She’s so cute it makes me want to push her down

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Pingback: Good Mom / Bad Mom
  2. DiscoJambouree is a great name. Not as funny as “pants weasel” or “trouser monkey,” but by far better than “rat butt.”

    Tell your friend I applaud their choice and highly endorse their product and/or service.

  3. I challenge you to a cute off!

    No NOT ME!

    My adorable little girl verses your adorable little girl. Kind of like a “Zoolander” pose off, only funny!

    Houston’s last blog post..OW! OW! OW! OW!

  4. You as a political pundeet? Too funny. Although I don’t know if I should take issue for you calling me a WHIG! (US History teacher in me wants to conduct a lesson on the parties!)

    Wanting to put your kid on an SS poster cracked my ass up. And, Discojamboree makes me want to pull out my vinyl of Disco Duck singing the tunes.

    Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..I Pity the Fool

  5. My sister’s kids are also that blonde and cute, too. Since we’re letting it all hang out this morning, I think it’s totally not fair that she got the kids who looked like they stepped out of a cereal commercial when I’m the pretty one!

    p.s. my daughter is freakin adorable, but not in that take-her-to-auditions-and-make-tons-of-money-on-her way. KWIM?

    p.p.s. Commentluv doesn’t work on my crappy blog. It only finds my first post ever. Don’t let that deter you from visiting my crappy mommy blog.

    Anne’s last blog post..You are a bad parent to somebody!

  6. And with this, ladies in gentlemen, The Bloggess just knocked Min down for the title of “Bad Mom”. At the very least, devil horns just sprouted through the halo.

    Wicked campaign that has “success” written all over it.

    Robin’s last blog post..Verbal inspirations ~ Fun Monday

  7. I want in on this. I hate my 15 year old. People please tell me that’s ok. The two year old I can deal with…….

    Lala’s last blog post..# 908

  8. and I was feeling guilty about deleting Mama Drama as one of my ‘favourite’ sites. Where can I purchase one of your Hitler Youth posters?

  9. Too freakin hilariouus. Yes, I meant the extra “u”. I had forgotten about the paperclip because my husband had taken him out in the back yard and shot him some time ago. Louved it!

    Sabrina’s last blog post..Houston recommendations?

  10. Great, nouw I have tou spell everything with a ‘u’, stalk discojambouree and get image geneurator…after I push my kid for being so cute and a dick all at once…

    But I have to pick her up from schoul first!

    ~JJ!’s last blog post..Opening my eyes

  11. Okay, I get it. But you are adorable too.

    What I think is really funny is when really ugly people have an adorable kid. Imagine what they must be thinking . . .

    Carrie’s last blog post..Space Invaders

  12. HA. I was recently considering doing a post on those times that I really don’t like my children. But I was afraid I might get boycotted. Or Lynched. Lynchcotted.

    I’m glad you said it.

  13. She is cuter than two puppies sliding down a rainbow. The only problem is, when you push her down she will start crying and she probably has a cute cry face and THEN you have to buy her ice cream…now I want an ice cream…damn you beautiful Nazi child.

  14. OOHHH! I want to learn how to use image generator. How come you know so much about so much?? Do you really have a day job? Hmmm… I’m starting to suspect that you don’t.

    And yes, God played a bad trick on us making our kids cuter than us. It’s his way of laughing at us.

    Shoegirl’s last blog post..Amy Tan & My Year to Publish

  15. I do have a day job but I goof off a fair amount there. Then I have to take my work home with me to catch up and Victor gets all bitchy about how I need a raise because I’m working so hard. And I nod. Because I need the sympathy.

  16. It’s like an afterschool special here some days. Both of my girls are vastly hipper than I am and, I fear, that had we been in school at the same time, I would have watched them longingly from across the street on the walk home wishing I could be that cool. Then there would be the pitying looks, sigh, and despair.

    amanda’s last blog post..I said, “Highlights” and she bleached my head.

  17. She really is sprite-like. Mine has the same angelic face I did at her age, but now of course, I’ve grown out of it. So it makes me go – just wait, kid! (Yeah, three’s been tough around here, so I get you!)

    And I do like the name, but my first thought was, “Is that from Marcy playground? No, that was Disco Lemonade.” Which, actually, I like even better. Maybe I should steal that…

    kittenpie’s last blog post..7:00 am Fashion Emergency

  18. you know, there’s a lot going on today here at this blawg, and yet all i can think is: jenny is a fucking quitter!

  19. I worked with (only) British people for about a year and a half, and I still have to fight the urge to add in extra u’s, l’s, me’s, etc. (As in my favourite travelling programme…)

    Such is life.

    I puffy heart your paper clip generator.

    Or, as they say in French, generatour.

    Kelley’s last blog post..Road Love

  20. She is SO cute. I have to admit that it’s not when my kids are being adorable that I want to push them down. In fact, I’m pretty sure the adorable factor is what stops me from pushing them down.

    Jerseygirl89’s last blog post..I’m Sorry

  21. Pingback: Joy Unexpected
  22. HA. I love that you can talk about disliking your kid sometimes. I dislike mine too sometimes, and I talk about it, but not in such a humourous way.

    I think I’m now a regular reader. Thank you for making my life a little lighter.

    L the D’s last blog post..I Take It All Back

  23. Crap. I am officially out of your league, cuz I’m not funny. But I HAVE to know- do you say “month of Sundays”? Because my husband is in Houston at one of his frat brother’s houses and the guy just said “month of Sundays” to me. Do people really talk like that? Does that mean every day is Sunday for a month? That’s just too much church and too much Sundayness for me. Yuck.

    Hey Ninja, I think maybe we’re on the same pain meds, armpits.

    Simply Jenn’s last blog post..Fun Monday, Pensieve style

  24. My god with all these comments. I haven’t even posted on my blog in, like, a month and here you are kicking some major ass and getting stalked now by the entire blogosphere.

    It kinda makes me want to push YOU down. And makes me want you even more. So, um…hi…whatchu doin’ later?

    Chase’s last blog post..A Gift To Myself

  25. See, that is the good thing about being a mom. You can be totally irritated at your child and want to give them away, but you still love them with all your heart.

    Jacki’s last blog post..Seeds of Hope

  26. I LOVE IT! I LOVE that I am not the only one who doesn’t like their kids all the time:). My five year old is really getting to me right now.

    Oh, and my kids are/were all that blond too and DH and I are REALLY not and people ALWAYS ask where they get the blond hair. One particularly funny answer was from a friend of ours who faux whispered, “Shh, Dylan doesn’t like people to ask that question.”

    Kylie’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday

  27. OMG, this is my new favoUrite blog – partly because you’re wicked and hilarious, partly because you have a friend whose brother called his two-year-old “a dick” (which made me actually laugh out loud, all alone in my bedroom) and a lot because you’re in HOUSTON!! Woot for the metro moms!

    Seriously – love it.

  28. You know, I bet she’s cuter after you push her down. Kids are always adorable with little smudges of dirt on their nose. Also: ever thought of child acting? You could exploit the cute and eventually turn her into a teenage rehab patient all in one fell swoop.

    Captain Steve’s last blog post..The Best Ringtone in the World

  29. If his whole blogging thing doesn’t work out for you, I think you definitely have a future as a stand up comic.

    I for one would never call my kid a dick!

    A little pain in the ass or a little shit, but never a dick. Please. A girl has to have standards.

    Blue Momma’s last blog post..ME101 – Who is Blue Momma?

  30. I think you’d make an excellent Pundeet!

    And having friends that understand that while you may love your children you don’t always have to like them? Keepers!

    The funny thing about the half white/half black thing is that that is how it goes. If you are white + any other minority, you default to that minority. Except that to people within that minority, you are often not a high enough percentage of that minority to qualify for membership. Yup, I know all about this one. Sigh.

    Then? When you don’t look like anyone’s idea of either racial group? Oh the confusion!

    Hatchet’s last blog post..Growing Challenge: Unusual Plants

  31. DJ is a friend of mine, and we’ve had a similar conversation about my little hitlerite. (Described in detail at kathrynsmoore.wordpress.com in the blog Cotton Candy and a Snow Cone.) There’s nothing I like better than honesty, especially when it comes to talking about parenting. And besides I figure I’m helping him prepare for his own little bundle of joy, which is no doubt only a few short years away. 🙂

    Katy’s last blog post..English 101

  32. That’s why when people see a cute kid, they announce how much they would love to squeeze the little bugger or pinch their cheeks. It’s because they can’t walk up to a little kid with ringlets and pink cheeks and push them. I mean, I guess you can, but that might be weird.

    Heather B.’s last blog post..Clingy

  33. My niece is no Hitler Youth model, but she does look like one of the Children of the Corn.
    Damn scary.
    Especially when she’s standing over you at 5:30 in the morning watching you sleep.
    Creepy little bugger.

  34. Yay for a Kimya Dawson reference.
    Also, this is the second post I’ve made on your site ever and it’s also the second post I’ve made celebrating you (possibly) referencing something. I think I have a problem.

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