I don't even know how to spell "Jeopardy".

Victor and I watching a quiz show:

TV announcer:  In 1215…

Victor:  The Magna Carta!

Me: The fuck?

Contestant on TV:  What is…the Magna Carta?

Announcer:  That’s right!

Me:  How did you do that?

Victor:  I am the king of trivia.  It’s like a gift. 

Me:  I would never in a billion years have guessed ‘Magna Carta’.

Victor:  Well, pretty much nothing happened in 1215 besides the Magna Carta.  Why?  What would you have said?

Me:  I dunno.  “What is…fifteen minutes after noon?”

Victor:  Speechless.  I’m…speechless.

Me:  It’s like a gift.

Comment of the day: In college, a helpful friend recommended I pretend I’m handling the Magna Carta when giving a blow job.  And that has become my gift. ~ Stephanie

72 thoughts on “I don't even know how to spell "Jeopardy".

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Victor and Himself obviously share a gene somewhere. Himself is full of all that useless (unless you’re watching a quiz show) information too.

    Aoj’s last blog post..Strike me down

  2. Alex Trebek would have given you points for thinking outside the box. I’m sure of it.

  3. you need to put him on the show.
    first of all, he’d make you a fortune.
    second of all, your sheet dress needs to see the light of a tv camera again.
    and thirdly,
    i’m sure they would arrange it for him to win and stay on the show for at least a week, because in addition to being smart, he’s gotta be the best looking person that’s ever been on that show. evah.
    not that i know what victor looks like, but i’m just sayin’ – evah.

  4. Here’s a fun game to play, it starts like this:

    You – Hey Victor, you know all sorts of trivia right?
    Victor – Yep, sure do, super smart I am.
    You – Ok then, what shade of lipstick was I wearing on our first date?
    Victor – Uh….
    You – (proceed to become irrationally angry)

    The beauty of this game is you will ALWAYS win, he will always lose and you will always be smarter because you, as a woman, will always remember the shade of lipstick HE was wearing on your first date.

    mike’s last blog post..So…

  5. I can follow Victor’s logic there. Nothing else DID happen in 1215.

    I rock at trivia too. If you are playing Trivial Pursuit for money,you want to fly me in. I am a repository of miscellaneous and sundry knowledge.

  6. 1215? The Magna Carta? Really?

    Hmm…I would have gone with “…the year Beijing was torched by Genghis Khan.” Either that or “…the age range in which most former mouseketeers lost their virginity.”

  7. Everytime we watch “Cash Cab” and don’t know the answer, we shout out, “North Korea!” because it seems to always be the answer for the ones we don’t know. Try that one. One in a billion says you’re right a few times and wipe that smug grin from his face.

    Mocha’s last blog post..Then You Pick Yourself Up And Start Again

  8. Heh heh…fifteen minutes after noon.

    My husband was on Jeopardy once. He kicked butt until it came to the final question. The answer was “Who is Houdini?” I think the answer was “Name a famous magician who didn’t die in 1215.”

  9. Dude, I’m on a self-esteem high for DAYS if I correctly guess a Jeopardy answer before Trebek finishes the question.

    Did you know some guy just bought one of the original drafts of the Magna Carta at auction for like, a skillion dollars? My question is WHY? What the hell are you going to do with an almost 900 year-old piece of parchment?

    I’ll take “Rich Douchebags with Nothing Better to Spend Their Money On” for $1000, Alex.

    Jennifer’s last blog post..Peachtree Memories

  10. DUDE! THE QUIZ SHOW WAS TOTALLY VENTURE BROTHERS! Sorry to shout but since like only 2% of the population actually watch it and no one gets it when I make references to it I get excited when I find a kindred soul. In fact, this post originally started out “Victor and I watching the Venture Brothers Quiz Show episode:” but I thought people would get distracted.

    Go Team Venture.

  11. Seriously, Adult Swim during summers is always the best. I just caught up with Frisky Dingo thanks to your recommendation from one of your posts (I forget which.) But yes, I wholeheartedly concur with previously mentioned sentiment, “Go Team Venture!”

    Dave’s last blog post..Quarter Life Crisis

  12. Well, I normally answer trivia questions before my husband because I can read the questions before Trebek can finish reading them out loud. Caused long conversations about who is smarter in our marriage – not an argument either of us will allow the other to win.

    Besides, what good is knowledge about the Magna Carta in real life?

    kate’s last blog post..That bitch Kubler-Ross

  13. I too live with a man that retains much higher amounts of useless crap in his brain than I do. Thus, convincing himself that he’s smarter than me.

    But in MY house, it all boils down to the fact that I can produce babies AND I am capable of growing bangs, which he never will be again.

    He is deficient….and he knows it.


    Anissa’s last blog post..The One Voice Project

  14. My hubby and I kick ass when we team up for Trivial Pursuit. He knows the “real” stuff like history and science and I know the TV and pop culture crap.

    If I could harness the power I have for remembering almost every episode of “Friends” or “Star Trek – TNG” towards real life I could rule the world!!!

  15. Oh, now I love you even more! The Venture Brothers are great. And, since I’m new here, I didn’t realize you liked Frisky Dingo (it pays to read the comments), which is my all time favorite cartoon. We can speak in Xander Crews for hours.

    Stan: “You can’t fax glitter!”
    Xander: “Well, not with that attitude.”
    Stan: “Not with ANY attitude.”

    Wendy’s last blog post..Thoughtful Friday

  16. If answering trivia questions rationally and according to daily life is only “like a gift.” I’m almost nervous to ask what your true gifts are. Wait. Never mind. I remember.

    Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..Tricky Tricky

  17. I to am a fountain of useless information and now no one will play Trivial Pursuit with me. I can remember all sorts of stupid shit but ask me what I had for breakfast and I’m at a loss.

    Renee’s last blog post..Things Overheard This Weekend

  18. i don’t know what it is…but i just started noticing differences between people who say “the fuck?” rather than “what the fuck?”

    i’m writing a report on it. i’ll let you know when i’ve reached some conclusions. i’m pretty sure it will have something to do with the time-space continuum.

    karey m.’s last blog post..go ahead. make my day.

  19. I know wayyy too many people who are just brimming with useless trivia knowledge. Of course most of them lack any sort of knowledge of anything useful so… do they really have an edge on us?

    I think not.

    Diana’s last blog post..MISSING: Little Girl

  20. I’m with you Sister! We should be on the same team on a game so we can win for the most creative answers. No, I take that back you. You would totally kick my butt in that category too. 🙂

    Shoegirl’s last blog post..Dear Beauty Editor

  21. I do not get the comment of the day….how does that help with a blow job? Help I want to know!!!

  22. Okay, it’s totally 4 years later, but I have to tell you that my son (born Sept 2008) ‘s middle name is Jonas, and it’s entirely because of Venture Brothers & post-c-section painkillers. No lie. I shake my head over it now, but it’s right there on the birth cert.
    I know I’m talking to no one but you, Jenny, and that’s okay. I’ve been perusing the old posts since you’ve been posting flashbacks, and accomplishing absolutely nothing at work. Thank you.

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