I don't even know how to spell "Jeopardy".

Victor and I watching a quiz show:

TV announcer:  In 1215…

Victor:  The Magna Carta!

Me: The fuck?

Contestant on TV:  What is…the Magna Carta?

Announcer:  That’s right!

Me:  How did you do that?

Victor:  I am the king of trivia.  It’s like a gift. 

Me:  I would never in a billion years have guessed ‘Magna Carta’.

Victor:  Well, pretty much nothing happened in 1215 besides the Magna Carta.  Why?  What would you have said?

Me:  I dunno.  “What is…fifteen minutes after noon?”

Victor:  Speechless.  I’m…speechless.

Me:  It’s like a gift.

Comment of the day: In college, a helpful friend recommended I pretend I’m handling the Magna Carta when giving a blow job.  And that has become my gift. ~ Stephanie

72 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Victor and Himself obviously share a gene somewhere. Himself is full of all that useless (unless you’re watching a quiz show) information too.

    Aoj’s last blog post..Strike me down

  2. Alex Trebek would have given you points for thinking outside the box. I’m sure of it.

  3. Thank God for spell check.

    heather’s last blog post..Twenty Nine and Feelin’ Fine

  4. This is why I refuse to play Trivial Pursuit with my husband. He knows more worthless shit than any man, woman, or beast should know.

    jen’s last blog post..The good, the bad, and the uuuugly

  5. I’d like Pompous Game Show Hosts for $1000, Alex.

    Sunshine’s last blog post..Feed Me

  6. Your gifts are staggering. I don’t know why I even try.

    Jennifer H’s last blog post..Carousel

  7. hee hee. quarter past midnight. 🙂

    Dawn’s last blog post..Haiku Tshirt

  8. Have you considered that Victor is experiencing a Ground Hog Day scenario? Let us know if he can suddenly play the piano.

    Whit’s last blog post..WALL-E: The A 2 Z Review

  9. you need to put him on the show.
    first of all, he’d make you a fortune.
    second of all, your sheet dress needs to see the light of a tv camera again.
    and thirdly,
    i’m sure they would arrange it for him to win and stay on the show for at least a week, because in addition to being smart, he’s gotta be the best looking person that’s ever been on that show. evah.
    not that i know what victor looks like, but i’m just sayin’ – evah.

  10. Here’s a fun game to play, it starts like this:

    You – Hey Victor, you know all sorts of trivia right?
    Victor – Yep, sure do, super smart I am.
    You – Ok then, what shade of lipstick was I wearing on our first date?
    Victor – Uh….
    You – (proceed to become irrationally angry)

    The beauty of this game is you will ALWAYS win, he will always lose and you will always be smarter because you, as a woman, will always remember the shade of lipstick HE was wearing on your first date.

    mike’s last blog post..So…

  11. I can follow Victor’s logic there. Nothing else DID happen in 1215.

    I rock at trivia too. If you are playing Trivial Pursuit for money,you want to fly me in. I am a repository of miscellaneous and sundry knowledge.

  12. 12
    I can't read my nametag

    1215? The Magna Carta? Really?

    Hmm…I would have gone with “…the year Beijing was torched by Genghis Khan.” Either that or “…the age range in which most former mouseketeers lost their virginity.”

  13. Everytime we watch “Cash Cab” and don’t know the answer, we shout out, “North Korea!” because it seems to always be the answer for the ones we don’t know. Try that one. One in a billion says you’re right a few times and wipe that smug grin from his face.

    Mocha’s last blog post..Then You Pick Yourself Up And Start Again

  14. it really is.

    flutter’s last blog post..inspiration board 6-28

  15. I like your answer better.

    Alice’s last blog post..Do or do not, there is no try.

  16. I’d have said the same thing you did.
    Victor sounds like my Dad, it’s scary sometimes the knowledge that’s crammed up there.

    rachel’s last blog post..Don’t Do Anything I Wouldn’t Do ‘Ku

  17. Jenny I love you….i was thinking hmmmm, lunch time…lol

    Julie’s last blog post..Available Puppies

  18. Heh heh…fifteen minutes after noon.

    My husband was on Jeopardy once. He kicked butt until it came to the final question. The answer was “Who is Houdini?” I think the answer was “Name a famous magician who didn’t die in 1215.”

  19. Dude, I’m on a self-esteem high for DAYS if I correctly guess a Jeopardy answer before Trebek finishes the question.

    Did you know some guy just bought one of the original drafts of the Magna Carta at auction for like, a skillion dollars? My question is WHY? What the hell are you going to do with an almost 900 year-old piece of parchment?

    I’ll take “Rich Douchebags with Nothing Better to Spend Their Money On” for $1000, Alex.

    Jennifer’s last blog post..Peachtree Memories

  20. Wasn’t that from the recent Venture Brothers? http://toddalcott.livejournal.com/200405.html

    (Search for “Magna”)

  21. DUDE! THE QUIZ SHOW WAS TOTALLY VENTURE BROTHERS! Sorry to shout but since like only 2% of the population actually watch it and no one gets it when I make references to it I get excited when I find a kindred soul. In fact, this post originally started out “Victor and I watching the Venture Brothers Quiz Show episode:” but I thought people would get distracted.

    Go Team Venture.

  22. We want to play Triv with Victor! We’re geeky that way.

    Lady M’s last blog post..The Other Kind of Creativity

  23. No words.

    Just laughter.

    Out loud.

    Thank you, it’s a gift.

    Robin’s last blog post..Travel diary (a.k.a. I’m not really blogging, but….)

  24. Seriously, Adult Swim during summers is always the best. I just caught up with Frisky Dingo thanks to your recommendation from one of your posts (I forget which.) But yes, I wholeheartedly concur with previously mentioned sentiment, “Go Team Venture!”

    Dave’s last blog post..Quarter Life Crisis

  25. Victor sounds like a showboating rogue.

    Black Hockey Jesus’s last blog post..Bored Lifeguard In A Merry Shade Of Red

  26. Your funny. I am always last to find the the cool folks.

    blogversary’s last blog post..sharing

  27. “It’s like a gift.”

    Like?

    Headless Mom’s last blog post..And the winner is…

  28. What the fuck is the magna carta?

    AMomTwoBoys’s last blog post..I Am Woman, Hear Me RAWR

  29. sadly, i would have known that too.

    i’m such a dweeb.

    ali’s last blog post..swiper no swiping, ali is naked, and the mouths of babes

  30. Word up. (to you, not Victor McSmartface)

    Mrs. F’s last blog post..In The Depths of Mindless Drivel

  31. I’m with you. 1215…what is lunchtime?

    Mrs. Schmitty’s last blog post..Kate’s Foundation

  32. As usual, I bow to your comedic genius.

    Cara’s last blog post..Sophie’s Amazing Technicolor Dream Table

  33. AT: In 1215…
    JtB: A quarter past noon.
    AT: Please state your answer as a question.
    JtB: OK… What is a quarter past noon, fckwit.
    AT: What’s missing from that last word you said?
    JtB: That would be “U”, asshat.

    ~EdT.

    Ed T.’s last blog post..It is time to Just Say No… to the Trolls

  34. Well, I normally answer trivia questions before my husband because I can read the questions before Trebek can finish reading them out loud. Caused long conversations about who is smarter in our marriage – not an argument either of us will allow the other to win.

    Besides, what good is knowledge about the Magna Carta in real life?

    kate’s last blog post..That bitch Kubler-Ross

  35. I too live with a man that retains much higher amounts of useless crap in his brain than I do. Thus, convincing himself that he’s smarter than me.

    But in MY house, it all boils down to the fact that I can produce babies AND I am capable of growing bangs, which he never will be again.

    He is deficient….and he knows it.

    –Anissa
    http://www.hope4peyton.org

    Anissa’s last blog post..The One Voice Project

  36. I love Victor! I would’ve said the same thing. Right off. But, I majored in Medieval Britain. Although, he’s right. Nothing else happened in 1215.

    Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..The Incredible True Mis-Adventures of Carl (take 1)

  37. I knew that trivia was not for me when i used to get completely stumped playing junior trivial pursuit. I do not understand how people remember crap like that.

    the mama bird diaries’s last blog post..i’m a little bit country

  38. 1215 is late for lunch.

    jen’s last blog post..the last american cowboy

  39. In college, a helpful friend recommended I pretend I’m handling the Magna Carta when giving a blow job.

    And that has become my gift.

    stephanie (bad mom)’s last blog post..big plans, take 2

  40. I would have said 15 minutes after noon as well…. Or way past lunchtime! (I like to eat around 11:30)

    Erica/TxGambit’s last blog post..The big birthday week

  41. My hubby and I kick ass when we team up for Trivial Pursuit. He knows the “real” stuff like history and science and I know the TV and pop culture crap.

    If I could harness the power I have for remembering almost every episode of “Friends” or “Star Trek – TNG” towards real life I could rule the world!!!

  42. I console myself with thinking that it’s pretty pointless to shout out answers to trivia questions when you are not a contestant, not physically present in the studio, and not eligible for winning $$$ (or even a hug from Alex) for your brilliance.

    ari_1965’s last blog post..I haven’t made any money in almost six weeks

  43. Ahaha. I love your answer. I would’ve given you the points.

    Missy’s last blog post..What I Want To Do Weekends, Part 7: The Ranch

  44. The Magna Carta? When has that knowledge ever come in handy in real life? 15 minutes after noon is useful every single day. Clearly, you were right on that one.

    Deb (Missives From Suburbia)’s last blog post..I Love the Smell of Fear

  45. I’m guessing that Victor has problems making it to lunch dates on time what with the virtual lack of timepieces that feature historic moments rather than something you’d see on a clock. If only Alex Trebek would ask about the theme song to “Gilligan’s Island”…I’d be a winner.

    apathy lounge’s last blog post..Even if my dysfunction had been funny, I still wouldn’t be able to write a book about it.

  46. That is HYSTERICAL! And quick. I would have have been still muttering 1215, 1215 …for several minutes trying to make sense out of the measurement.

    JCK’s last blog post..Do not hate me because I don’t get Twitter…

  47. Hahaha “fifteen after noon” is exactly what I would have said too! I smell a rat!

    Katie’s last blog post..Glitter is a Man’s Best Friend!

  48. Obviously you were watching a repeat.

    Marinka’s last blog post..Pride

  49. I would have guessed the time too. I kinda sorta heard of the Magna Carta but that’s it. I’m REALLY talented at remembering things that apply to something called daily life though.

    Queen of Shake Shake’s last blog post..Things I May Do Instead of Going to BlogHer

  50. I love your response – “fifteen minutes after noon.” Totally something I would have said!

    justcallmenora’s last blog post..“Give me something to believe in…”

  51. As Victor what the nickname of the king who ruled during the adoption of the Magna Carta. Then, when he doesn’t know it, tell him, “John LACKLAND, you MORON,” and walk away with your nose in the air.

    ali’s last blog post..No, I’m not hooked on Afrin or anything.

  52. Victor is right 1215 was pretty lame, even by 1216 standards

    furiousball’s last blog post..first day of camp

  53. Oh, now I love you even more! The Venture Brothers are great. And, since I’m new here, I didn’t realize you liked Frisky Dingo (it pays to read the comments), which is my all time favorite cartoon. We can speak in Xander Crews for hours.

    Stan: “You can’t fax glitter!”
    Xander: “Well, not with that attitude.”
    Stan: “Not with ANY attitude.”

    Wendy’s last blog post..Thoughtful Friday

  54. Ughh. Everyone knows 1215 is the year the Blow Job was invented. Take THAT Victor.

    Greta/Does This Blog Make Us Look Fat?’s last blog post..21 Day Don’tox

  55. your husband is teh shiznit

    blundstone’s last blog post..goosh.org – the unofficial google shell.

  56. If answering trivia questions rationally and according to daily life is only “like a gift.” I’m almost nervous to ask what your true gifts are. Wait. Never mind. I remember.

    Becky Mochaface’s last blog post..Tricky Tricky

  57. I to am a fountain of useless information and now no one will play Trivial Pursuit with me. I can remember all sorts of stupid shit but ask me what I had for breakfast and I’m at a loss.

    Renee’s last blog post..Things Overheard This Weekend

  58. Mu dopey husband does the same shit to me….it’s a gift all right.

    ~JJ!’s last blog post..Hey, come on over….

  59. i don’t know what it is…but i just started noticing differences between people who say “the fuck?” rather than “what the fuck?”

    i’m writing a report on it. i’ll let you know when i’ve reached some conclusions. i’m pretty sure it will have something to do with the time-space continuum.

    karey m.’s last blog post..go ahead. make my day.

  60. Am I the only Venture Bros. fan that can no longer stand to hear “Sampson” pronounced properly? I am always compelled to follow it up with a “Syampsyon.”

    Does that make any sense at all?

    Jessica’s last blog post..We’ve been ripped off by tasty toothpaste

  61. Makes sense to me, Molotov Cocktease.

  62. I know wayyy too many people who are just brimming with useless trivia knowledge. Of course most of them lack any sort of knowledge of anything useful so… do they really have an edge on us?

    I think not.

    Diana’s last blog post..MISSING: Little Girl

  63. Your answer, in my mind, was the correct and most brilliant answer in the history of questions posed about the year 1215 ever.

    Dianna’s last blog post..So d*mn tired…

  64. I would like you to be on my Pub Quiz team. Please be in Portland at 7:00 p.m. on Thursday.

    Rhi’s last blog post..One Year Ago

  65. I’m with you Sister! We should be on the same team on a game so we can win for the most creative answers. No, I take that back you. You would totally kick my butt in that category too. 🙂

    Shoegirl’s last blog post..Dear Beauty Editor

  66. Victor is my new hero, and he reminds me of myself. Does that make me conceited?

    LiteralDan’s last blog post..I have met The Man, and he is four

  67. This is hilarious. I’m almost embarrassed that I knew the Magna Carta was 1215. Like I know the Norman Invasion was 1066 and — I won’t go on and make myself even more of a geekazoid.

    That blow job advice is good!

    Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas’s last blog post..The Maternity Clothes Primer

  68. I don’t evenlike You Light Up my Life… Ewwwww

    Deva @ Vorilee’s last blog post..The Roommate Got Married

  69. Wow. That just sounds too familiar. My husband is always saying things that make him look super smart and make me look a little ridiculous.

    Jia@ColorMeUntypical’s last blog post..WFMW: 5 Ingrediants or Less

  70. Dude. This is SOOOOOOO my house too. We are gonna have a blast in San Fran.

    Aimee Greeblemonkey’s last blog post..A Call for the Silver Platters to Reunite!

  71. I do not get the comment of the day….how does that help with a blow job? Help I want to know!!!

  72. Okay, it’s totally 4 years later, but I have to tell you that my son (born Sept 2008) ‘s middle name is Jonas, and it’s entirely because of Venture Brothers & post-c-section painkillers. No lie. I shake my head over it now, but it’s right there on the birth cert.
    I know I’m talking to no one but you, Jenny, and that’s okay. I’ve been perusing the old posts since you’ve been posting flashbacks, and accomplishing absolutely nothing at work. Thank you.

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