A series of unrelated crap:
1. I took a picture of this semi with my phone while I was driving because I’m totally safe like that.
And then I was all “when did jam get flammable?” Because honestly, there are some things that you shouldn’t have to worry about spontaneously combusting and one of those is jam. The other is babies but apparently they’re bursting into flames all the time too because why else do all of their pajamas scream “FLAME RETARDANT” on them. That’s why you aren’t allowed to put blankets on them at night. Blankets are like baby kindling. I always hold babies at an arms length just in case they suddenly catch fire. Also because I’m not good with children.
2. Victor had to do a redesign on my blog because it kept breaking and now it feels very Swedish and reminds me of tundra. I wanted it to be all ninja-like and remind me of Garanimals. Victor was all “What the fuck are you talking about? What’s a Garanimal?” and I’m all “You know. They were like mix and match clothes for rich kids.” And then I started talking about how if Garanimals was still in business and I was in their marketing department I’d totally use that Nine Inch Nails song that’s all “I Wanna Fuck You Like an Animal” and change it to “I Wanna Wear You Like Garanimals” because people would sing it all the time and then Victor was all “What is wrong with you?” and I’m like “That’s probably why they went out of business” and Victor was all “Yeah, that’s why they went out of business” but then I looked them up and turns out they’re still in business and I think I just confused them with the ShirtTales. In other words, I’m not sure if I like my blog redesign.
3. A new Ask the Bloggess advice column is up. How to shave male junk, cat umbilical cords, dead Mayans, blah, blah, blah.
4. I wanna wear you like Garanaimals. Seriously, I can’t stop singing it.
Comment of the day: Inflammable babies explains a lot – i’ve always instinctively stayed clear of them. I can’t risk a baby exploding – I’ve got the kind of skin that scars. ~ Sheila