William Shatner is mocking all of us. Okay, maybe not all of us but certainly me. I honestly thought we were done with this whole William Shatner debacle and I was moving on with my life and I was actually working on a new blog post that was so good it would probably have cured cancer but then I totally lost my train of thought and accidentally deleted it when it was pointed out to me that WILLIAM SHATNER WAS MOCKING ME ON TWITTER.
Conclusion? William Shatner wants you to have cancer.
And I know most of you are thinking “Wow. I have no idea what she’s talking about. Like, even less than normal” and that’s because you haven’t been keeping up. Long story short: I invited William Shatner to dinner so he could save my marriage, he didn’t respond, I went to send him a link about how much I love him, WILLIAM SHATNER BLOCKED ME, Gawker called me an interesting psycho, MSNBC covered the feud, thousands of people made me laugh hysterically as they rallied around the completely ludicrous cause of getting William Shatner to unblock me on twitter. And it was good. Until William Shatner purposely mocked me with aggression. I mean, I know you can’t really see the aggression because it’s in writing but if there was an aggressive font I’m pretty sure he’d be using it here.
And I was going to just tweet a link to Bill’s taunt rather than write a whole post except this is what I get when I click on that tweet:
But I forgive him. Because he is William Shatner. But you know who I love more than William Shatner? Grimace. He was the only McDonald’s character that I felt like I could really hang out with. And do you know who I love even more than Grimace? All the amazing people who took it upon themselves to create an entire army of twitterers bent soley on getting William Shatner to unblock me by revealing William Shatners deepest, darkest (and possibly untruest) secrets. Because it’s exactly that sort of dedication to a cause that is both futile, un-winnable and altogether ridiculous that is the very thing that makes me believe in the power of humanity to not take themselves so fucking seriously. And so now I’m going to share just a few of my favorite William Shatner related tweets from the last 24 hours. I should add here for legal purposes that probably more than 10% of these are just rumors and not based on actual fact. And also that William Shatner is still invited to my house for dinner but now I’m not paying for the hooker and he has to bring the beer.
Comment of the day: I really don’t know how much more you can be expected to take. I hope Bill Clinton gets involved. And soon. ~ Marinka