So recently I tweeted that I needed William Shatner to come to my house in order to save my marriage. I wasn’t very detailed on the whole thing because honestly these are the kind of personal marital matters that you don’t air on twitter. Then someone pointed out that William Shatner is actually on twitter so I started contacting him directly. An exact re-enactment of my tweets:
“Okay, don’t ask why but I need to get William Shatner to come to my house asap.“
“Seriously, does anyone know him? My marriage is in peril.“
“Dear @WilliamShatner: I need you to come to my house to save my marriage. No sex involved.”
“Unless you *want* to have sex. Which is totally fine.”
“But not with me though because I’m married. Please bring your own hooker.”
“BYOH”
“Oh my God, what am I saying? I am the worst hostess ever. I will totally provide the hooker if you just come to dinner.”
“I need to know your preferences though or else I’ll just default to hot Asian cheerleader.”
“Fuck. Dear @WilliamShatner. Please ignore my last several tweets. I’m a little drunk. And dangerously close to paying too much for travel.”
“Please come to my house and save me from myself.”
“There may or may not be hookers here.”
“Please give me a sign.”
And then absolutely nothing happened for two weeks on Shatner’s end. On our end Victor and I had a series of arguments, I maimed a cat (in my head) because of stress, we got a bomb threat and Victor got stabbed right after he said something about how if I was more “relevant” William Shatner would have responded to me (those last two things are unrelated but I like to group them because it makes William Shatner sound more responsible for destroying my marriage). And honestly, I was fine. William Shatner didn’t respond and I didn’t send him dead hamsters in the mail and it was all very civilized and I even responded to a Shatner fan in my advice column about the rules of loving the Shat. Then today I thought I should totally send Bill a link to my post about his awesomeness so I went into twitter and noticed that I was no longer following him for some strange reason. ’Surely a twitter glitch’, I thought. I never unfollow anyone. Too lazy for that. And that’s when I discovered something.
WILLIAM SHATNER HAD BLOCKED ME.
William Shatner is too good for you
Fuckin’ A, y’all. I’m not even kidding. Like, he had to go out of his way to find me and block me to keep me from being able to read about how he just recorded a Christmas song. I NEED TO KNOW THAT SHIT, BILL.
Honestly, it’s a little strange and I don’t know what to do with these emotions because no one has ever blocked me before (that I know of) and I’ve never blocked anyone (except for when I preemptively blocked Oprah but she knows why) and honestly I was a little shocked and when Victor came in and I had to admit that his idol had blocked me I actually had a single teardrop run down my face and it was mostly allergies but some of it was pain. Then Victor was all “Meh. Probably heard we spent too much on travel” and I’m all “THAT’S WHAT I WARNED HIM WOULD HAPPEN” and then Victor walked away very smugly and now I kind of do want to stab him and this time it totally will be William Shatners fault. Conclusion: William Shatner should be arrested for attempted murder.
PS. I might be overreacting because I did have a similar reaction earlier this week when Robert Scoble unfollowed me for being not smart enough and I sent out a series of irrational tweets alternatingly proclaiming my love for Robert Scoble and also accusing him of murdering rabbits and purposely destroying my very spirit and then the next day I realized that he was actually still following me after all. *Awkward.* But this is totally different because I’m not overreacting this time and William Shatner is the anti-Christ kind of hurt my feelings. This is probably exactly how Oprah felt. Except that Oprah actually deserved it.
PPS. Ow, Bill. Ow.
Comment of the day: It was the Asian cheerleader…he knew you weren’t a real fan or you would have picked the right kind of hooker. ~ a
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I’m not following Shatner, and now I *NEVER WILL*. How’s that for priceline negotiating????? er… i mean… *something that actually sounds threatening*.
Rachel´s last blog ..Conversations with my Mother
If it makes you feel better, he wasn’t included in the new Star Trek movie but Leonard Nimoy was … or so I heard.
Akilah Sakai´s last blog ..I’m Accepting Gifts
Dude, you were “Shat” on.
You’re better off without him my dear!
Malibu Niki´s last blog ..it’s sleeping in my memory
oh fuck. Dont stress Jenny girl. You know some two bit half assed office dweeb getting paid $4.75 per hour blocked your ass cause she was afraid Bill would totally come save your marriage. He doesnt twitter, he’s too old to twitter. (just believe it, it will be better this way)
peedee´s last blog ..Page Turners Please
With all due respect, he’s washed up anyway. He went from negotiating with aliens to ensure intergalactic peace to negotiating to save me $5 off a hotel for the night. A large step down considering his biggest threat is now an inanimate garden gnome.
this is second in awesomeness only AFTER the WOLVERINES!!! trending on twitter. maybe first. nah, second. wait. maybe they’re tied in awesomeness.
Yo is Me´s last blog ..past and future, folds and collides
Well, I don’t know who Robert Scoble is (which may make me an asshole or something, but I’ll look it up), but the first time I read this through, I thought it said Robert Scrabble, and I honestly don’t think you want anyone with that unfortunate name following you anyway…because how could ANYONE be smart enough for him? I realize that’s a moot point because his last name isn’t Scrabble….but you get my point….But if you don’t get my point, get some male hookers, and I’ll come over for dinner and explain.
Kerrie´s last blog ..Conan O’Brien Made Me Do It
Proof why you should follow @tedleo instead:
http://www.theslackdaily.com/2009/08/at-least-its-not-a-gangbang.html
the slackmistress´s last blog ..At Least It’s Not a Gangbang…
Screw that. Just for that, I’m never watching Star Wars again.
Marinka´s last blog ..Vacation Math Redux. To the Second Higher Power
Dear @WilliamShatner, please unblock the Bloggess before she turns on all of us in her grief and stabs us with fishing gaffs which she totally is not admitting to knowing how to use.
Trout Towers´s last blog ..Eva Gabor strikes again
I know I’m taking my life into my hands by making this correction, but I believe you could only get Shatman on “accessory” to murder.
Please don’t stab me.
Chaely´s last blog ..My kitten & I have similar hostile feelings toward…
Dude, I remember that night; I tweeted to you about how his last wife drowned in their pool. Maybe he didn’t like that. Maybe I’m blocked, too! Eek!!
I am sorry the Shat gave you the shaft. Uncool.
sarah ´s last blog ..Well, Hello, Karma. So Nice to See You…
He hasn’t blocked me! I guess I am special that way like those other 105,000+ people.
Carolyn ´s last blog ..Where Does Your Taste Take You? Stouffer’s Knows.
I love that you started a topic: #WilliamShatnerDoesntCareAboutYourMarriage. We should so make this the top topic on twitter and then he’d be all, “Please, Jenny….save my reputation….must unblock YOU.” (I wrote that exactly how he’d say it.)
Lori´s last blog ..I’m lazy.
I don’t even know how to respond to this. *William Shatner over 100,000 followers*?
Wow.
Sam´s last blog ..He’s Gonna Be Famous, Y’all
Jenny, Just started reading your blog and I’m not sure whether to be amused or offended at this blocking. I do think that peedee might be onto something about Shat’s account possibly being manned by an assistant. Either way I loved reading about this. It cracked me the F up.
Linda Eaves´s last blog ..Brown-Eyed girl in a Matching Dress
Surprisingly ( or not since you seem to grasp logic… occasionally), you are handling this way more maturely than people I have blocked.
TheCottonWife´s last blog ..Fruit of the Loom
Dude! He rides around in a smelly fan w/ bad actors! He can suck it! You’re way cooler than him. Star Trek scares me anyway but that’s a whole other story….
Ashlee´s last blog ..My 1st EVER Bloggy AWARD!!
I think it was all the hooker talk. Shat’s gotta keep up his reputation. Also, I am now going to try and stalk him and see if he’ll block me too. I’ll get back to you.
Caitlin´s last blog ..Is it too early to be thinking about Christmas gifts?
Shat probably thought you were twitter porn. OR maybe a twitter front for a house of ill-repute, the twitter version of Heidi Fleiss
Heather, Queen of Shake Shake´s last blog ..A positive perspective and I’m not even tipsy
I bet George Takei would come to your house to save your marriage. I believe he’s on Twitter as well.
Stacia Kane´s last blog ..It’s that time of year again
It must….be…..some….kind….of sick…..joke, Bones!
Hack´s last blog ..Enter to Win: Tiger or the Field?
It was probably some ‘bot’ set up that scans all tweets and looks for his name and the word “Hooker” in the same sentence, because for some reason he wants to try and distance himself from what was, let’s face it, THE MOST AWESOMEST COP SHOW IN HISTORY about a cop who plays by his own rules and has a name that sounds like “Prostitute”… er, “Snooker”, no, er “Convection Oven” – COOKER!! That’s it, “Cooker”!!
Why cant he have the same customer service as the LA Fire Department? I tweeted that I needed to borrow a fire fighter, just for a little while, and LAFDTALK responded and said “how can we help you?”
I mean I was all flattered and so I was honest and I said that it was for research for a book, and they gave me a number to call and all, but I’m wondering if I could have used this more to my advantage.
Fuck Shatner.
jessie´s last blog ..The Funk Soul Brother
Okay, this is the funniest thing I have heard all day.
And if you REALLY need to talk to William Shatner, let me know I will be your alias for you!
Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com´s last blog ..A Few Good Moms
He totally Khan’ed your ass, ma’am.
Bah, forget him. Any time you start thinking he’s hot stuff, remember what I’m telling you now: my friend owns a swim shop here in Lexington, Ky. where he owns a horse farm. She said he came in a few weeks ago and bought a Speedo. The mental image is melting my brain.
The Mother Tongue´s last blog ..Puzzle pieces at BlogHer
Thank you for *Awkward* – I actually kind of sung it in my head.
M´s last blog ..Personalized Decadence
Well, see if I EVER shop Priceline again. Shatner is dead to me now.
Grey Street Girl´s last blog ..Awesome Story
If it makes you feel better, Bill may hate you, but I TOTALLY love you!!!!
XOXO
AmazingGreis´s last blog ..30 20 days of {BLANK} – DAY 1
See, posts like this are the reason I keep stopping by. Too funny, and my take is that Shatner’s being an overreacting jerk by blocking you. Or, maybe this is how he deals with being reduced to making Priceline commercials instead of being in the next Star Trek film. Though I’ll admit, that’s a pretty pathetic way to vent frustration.
Shawn K. Quinn´s last blog ..Shark-infested financial waters
This feels like when your friends get divorced and you have to pick a side….awkward…..so torn…….
Yellow Trash Diaries´s last blog ..I Told You I Was Competitive
It was the Asian cheerleader…he knew you weren’t a real fan or you would have picked the right kind of hooker.
Look, I’m not going to sit here and pretend to be William Shatner, but – hold on, yes I am going to pretend to be William Shatner. I am William Shatner, sitting here in infuriating silence, indifferent to your marriage woes and your pain. I have a fleet of default hookers and a face full of plastic AND I DON’T NEED YOU ANYMORE. If you’re Leonard Nimoy, that is. If you’re Leonard Nimoy then I am over you. You hear me, Leonard?
Sorry, I’m high on pistachios right now.
Possible new Bloggess Twitter bio: “You’re no one until William Shatner’s blocked you.”
Also? I’m following William Shatner and have been for a while, but I honestly don’t know why. I’m guessing those other 105,000-ish people probably don’t really know why either.
*perplexed*
Lesley´s last blog ..The Post Where I Answer Fan Mail On Account Of I Have Tons Of Fans!! (OH, OF COURSE I DON’T)
I think this is perhaps the greatest blog post I have ever read.
You’re too good for Shatner. I mean who would follow a guy who would act an entire film in Esperanto.
Incubus (1965) Trailer clip: http://bit.ly/4F8vXS
Mary Spiro´s last blog ..Mary_Spiro: One of the most enjoyable ramblings I’ve read in a while. RT @TheBloggess http://thebloggess.com/?p=3605 Blocked. By Shatner.
You are probably one of the funniest people on the planet.
Also please, what font did you use on that picture?
Jaime | Fast Times´s last blog ..Stupid POS can opener.
(Hi, this is Jenny -thebloggess- commenting in your comment because I’m not good at blogging. The font is called “Just me again down here”. Found it on picnik.com.)
i always did like leonard nimoy best…
Fuck Shat. Switch over. Once you go Spock, you never go back.
Scout’s Honor´s last blog ..Summer Days & Siblings Crazy Train
I always *knew* he was a douchebag. It was the way he said “Rescue 911″ that clued me in.
Sheila (Charm School Reject)´s last blog ..Do They Even Sell Cards for This?!
Duuuuude.
So check THIS out. Jay Mohr, who is SUPPOSEDLY MY FRIEND, unfollowed me and THEN HE BLOCKED ME.
He says he did no such thing. And asked me how to unblock someone he never blocked. So I SENT HIM INSTRUCTIONS.
Twice.
STILL BLOCKED.
What the fuck Jay Mohr and William Shatner?
p.s. CALL ME PLEASE.
Y´s last blog ..I not fat, I’m energy deficient.
Well, remember they wouldn’t let him on the latest incarnation of Star Trek. Maybe he’s feeling insecure. He’s fat anyway.
Dijea´s last blog ..Dear Hanes:
Hey, Jenny, it’s probably for the best that you got blocked. It saved you from yourself. I really have to question the taste of anyone of 105,000 people who would follow a Republican with Mad Cow Disease who didn’t even have the grace to attend Lt Sulu’s wedding before Prop 8 threw a wrench in the works. No ‘hore worth the title would give the guy a blow job the time of day!
La Framéricaine´s last blog .."A Tent Clad in Aluminum…"
you may use my account to harass william shatner ANY TIME. Who the fuck blocks someone just for tweeting at them?!
Maxie´s last blog ..Tiger Week: Would You Rather Wednesday
Fuck the Shat. He thinks he’s cool again in an ironic, hipsterish way, but all that means is that overprivileged yuppies think he’s so lame that he’s cool. They feel the same way about PBR and t-shirts with My Little Pony appliques on them. That’s actually a perfect metaphor for Shatner: He’s the My Little Pony t-shirt of the B-list celebrity world. That’s right, I said it.
P.S. I share your pain because my love for a little minx of a blogger continues to go unrequited. Oh the pain!
Deontologist´s last blog ..What I Did on My Summer Vacation: A Love Story
I’m peeing my pants. Dissed by the Shat? Oh no! LOL! Carry on if you can. I know it will be hard. I have total confidence that you will find another star to admire.
Perhaps if you send him a cat in as a peace offering…
Nap Warden´s last blog ..Secrets of Mommy Bloggers?!?
I’m totally going to make it my mission to make Shatner pay on twitter for this travesty.
Or, I’ll publish this tweet, grab a beer and continue to tweet aimlessly about my nipples.
Either way, I’ll be thinking of you.
well he sucks. but i think you should feel kind of cool because that means he at least saw your stuff. and maybe, because he’s william shatner and always seems so magical on the priceline commercials – him blocking you was like his way of magically counseling you. like that block should send you a message. no idea what – but maybe haha
alissa´s last blog ..enough
It’s totally NOT YOUR FAULT that he refuses to have sex with Asian cheerleaders.
Rikki´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday #7
Dude, I would be totally HONORED if you twittered or tweeted all over my twitter account. Except for the fact that I always forget I have an account. To the point that I forget my own Twitter handle thingy. On second thought, don’t tweet at me. I’d be so pissed to miss the conversation you’d have with yourself on my site only to find it weeks later…
tracey´s last blog ..Title schmitle
Oh my God, you’re hilarious! Love your post involving the Shat who shall no longer be named…and am very much enjoying your blog. You need a bigger stage, girl. Keep ‘em coming.
Sonja
P.S. Terribly sorry to hear Victor was stabbed. How unfortunate. He’s very lucky to have a hero in the house.
Sonja´s last blog ..Tick Tock
Man, I don’t think there is any higher level than being blocked by a celebrity on twitter. That is ultra cool and not at all like a restraining order. Not at all.
Dani´s last blog ..Crime Watch Wednesday: Where There’s Fire, There’s a Toothbrush?
I agree with a…I’m pretty sure Shat would want a green alien lady hooker. If we could somehow get word to him that you can set that up. Call that swim shop in Lexington to give him the message. It will all be okay.
Christy´s last blog ..Time to Purge
I follow you and I don’t know how I missed these, lol. Well yeah I do, I don’t tend to go back in history from times I was busy or sleeping.
My apologies if you or Victor still carry a torch for him, but I never really “got” his popularity back then and I sure as heck don’t know. He kinda annoys me. And sometimes creeps me out.
Keep in mind that perhaps it wasn’t The Shat who blocked you, but his agent, assuming you could become a psycho stalker fan?
Dangerous Lilly´s last blog ..Darkroom
How do I get William Shatner to block me? I thought he’d enjoy your humor!
Screwed Up Texan´s last blog ..I Hope Miss Dallas has a Sense of Humor
Hey, if it makes you feel any better, I’ve never gotten so much as a giggle from William Shatner.
And I just pre-emptively blocked him. That’ll show him!
The motherfucker.
Dude. It’s William Shatner. They made his face into a psychopath killer mask. Why would you follow that freaky man?
Becky Mochaface´s last blog ..Month 3 Day 14
I’m not following The Shat and I won’t now because of all people should he not have a freaking sense of humor? He should totally have twittered back to you. I mean your Tweets were effing hilarious -WHERE’S YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR BILL? MAYBE BUY ONE WITH THE MONEY YOU SAVED ON TRAVEL!
amy2boys´s last blog ..Kenny
Well, think of it this way… you’re probably in good company. I bet he blocked George Takei.
Is it wrong that I want to follow Bill now?
funderbug´s last blog ..knitting and a cheap room at the inn
OMG…I want to totally follow him, just to bug him…to see if he’ll block me too! Seriously, let’s see how many folks we can get Bill to block!
Nap Warden´s last blog ..Secrets of Mommy Bloggers?!?
Maybe Mr Shatner’s just worried about being stabbed. You should write to him and tell him you have no intention of stabbing him. I’m sure that will help.
Steve´s last blog ..Browser Dialog
Oh, yeah? I’m blocking HIM. Oh, he will feel the sting of my…blockage. Deeply. Take that, Shatner, you HACK.
Alice´s last blog ..ATTENTION: I HAVE SOMETHING OF VITAL IMPORTANCE TO COMMUNICATE
my girlfriend and I are so upset for you. I think it was a bit trigger happy of him to start slighting people
Kyooty´s last blog ..Having one of those days but a award!!
He blocked you on Twitter because you offered Asian Cheerleader. He only fucks boy midgets. But not actual boys, because that would make him the super-icky kind of pedophile, and you know he would totally have been caught by now if that’s how he rolled. And speaking of rolling, the sheer logistics or physics or whatever it is called of him and a midget? It’s staggering. And by staggering, I don’t mean in a statistical sort of way, I mean the kind of staggering you do on your way to find the garbage can when you’ve eaten too much Chinese food and are ten kinds of drunk. Also the kind of staggering you do on your way to find the garbage can when you’ve pictured too much William Shatner fucking midgets, because, eeeeeeeewwwwwwwww.
pamela´s last blog ..wordless wednesday: barn
Awww…I’m sorry Jenny. We should all follow William Shatner and flood him with messages about how upset we are that he blocked you. That stupid motherfucker!!!!
Maybe he’s gay. Because honestly, I dont know any straight man that would pass up a free hooker.
This is unforgivable. Shame on you, BILL.
Wende´s last blog ..Melting Down
First, do you really think that @WilliamShatner really is THE William Shatner? He’s probably one of those stars who employs a ghost tweeter because he’s A) way too busy being famous and rich to actually interact with real people and B) too old to know how to use any kind of social media. I mean c’mon, he only played a person from the techie future. In reality, he’s almost as old as my mother. And she is pretty old.
Take a deep breath. Buy something cute. He was never as cute as Chris Pine is anyway.
annie´s last blog ..For Interested Writers/Readers
I’m not sure how Mr. Shatner could have helped your marraige, but perhaps if you had complimented him on his singing, he would have been more receptive to your invitation.
This is the best stuff I have read in a long, long time. I clicked a RT on Twitter, because, well hell, not many people I follow discuss the Shat. I’m going to follow him in your honor and hound him about finding me a job-if he can find a cheap hotel he sure as hell can find one for me to work in. I might offer myself as a sexual sacrifice too. In the name of The Bloggess.
Beth´s last blog ..A Good-Bye To Over 4 Years Of My Life.
Oh Jenny, you are SUCH a humor blogger. ‘I have never been unfollowed before’…..ha ha ha……
You just keep those knee slappers coming…..
~Marcy
Member of the Campaign to block Bill Shatner
The Glamorous Life´s last blog ..I gotta get this off my chess.
William Shatner is hereby banned from my vagina. I don’t know if there is some, big, red notification that I can send him to that effect, but if there is, oh…I will.
flutter´s last blog ..I am no longer satisfied to muddle through, denying the potential of my light
who the hell is robert scoble??? should I know who he is?? if so- then pretend I was just joking when I asked who he is…. and um yeah….
I hate william shatner… he’s a douche anyway
PottyMouth Mommy´s last blog ..It’s over, and I lived… or did I??
If someone stuck a wooden skewer down shat’s narrow pee hole I bet he would unblock you.
Great blog.
Personally, I think it’s time to form a Twitter army. This army will tweet ambiguously annoying things at William Shatner ALL THE TIME. He’ll rue the day he blocked you. I think you should block him back. Because one day he might actually notice and then he will feel the wrath.
In related news, I’m not sure that William Shatner really even knows what Twitter is. I’m almost certain he does not tweet his own tweets. So really you got blocked by an imposter, which is either slightly more or slightly less insulting. I can’t decide.
OMG. You actually made me spew wine on my keyboard. Even though I have attended a univ. whose union building was named after the man–this trekkie will not follow Shatner.
I bow to your awesomeness.
Dhympna´s last blog ..Twitter Etiquette–Tales of Perturbation Part III
Shatner is an a hole so dont worry about it. I dont appreciate his commercials. So what if we pay to much money for travel. It is none of his damm business.
Jennifer´s last blog ..jenbridges08: RT @thebitchinwife I didnt know they made those anymore.
I’ll be there on Friday. My preference are midgets dressed in Ninja outfits. I’ll bring my own squid I doubt you can get it really fresh squid in Texas. Is there parking for the Enterprise or should I fly commerical?
HA! I can’t believe it took 75 comments before the Shat himself showed up to partake. Nice.
I liked JenniDi’s comment…she is absolutely right…you WERE totally Shat on.
carrie´s last blog ..movie anyone?
Wait…. you Twitter?
OMG OMG OMG I just totally spit out my Oreo Blast from Sonic.
Chloe´s last blog ..Outfit Of The Day (Chloe Haz A Bored)
Neil Diamond got suspiciously uncomfortable when I tweeted him to ask him if he loved me as much as I love him. He told me he doesn’t know me well enough to tell me that yet. I took that as an open invitation to change his mind. Thankfully, he’s not blocked me yet so I can continue to work my love magic on him. If that should ever change, though, my will to live will be tested.
foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)´s last blog ..just take the damn picture already
I’m pretty sure he thought he was blocking Oprah.
Kathi D´s last blog ..You said it, brothers and sisters!
Surely Nancy Kappes paralegal could call on some of her lawyer-type connections and try to convince Shatner that you have suffered severe emotional distress as a result of being blocked by him on Twitter and that your distress (the distress directly caused by him and not some other shit like your marriage falling apart and stabbing your husband) is interfering with your work and therefore it’s like HE IS STEALING YOUR MONEY and should be sued.
The end.
Well Read Hostess´s last blog ..He Said, She Said
On Boston Legal he had mad cow so blocking you was surely a byproduct of his disease.
On an unrelated note, I think you should get an icon to the left of the url. I don’t know how you do that but it makes you look more legit.
Only you Jenny. That’s why I love you.
It was really his wife who blocked you. You may not know this but Asian Cheerleaders is his very favorite type of hooker- shhhh don’t tell anyone.
Zoe Right´s last blog ..Torture:forget Waterboarding I have something even better
God, that’s one of the most worthless blog posts ever. Someone tweeted a link but I have no idea why. It’s not like there’s anything funny or interesting here.
Shat has saggy balls.
Laughing so hard I am crying.
And feeling guilty about the three pornobabes I blocked earlier today…I think one of them might have been an Asian Cheerleader…
michellany´s last blog ..Do You See What I See?
Bloody Scobelizer just unfollowed me – apparently he’s just realised one shouldn’t refollow everyone who follows him. (He unfollowed everyone, why you thought he’d unfollowed you – he had.)
I was proud that i hadn’t followed him for months, but there he was, in my followers, hoping i’d notice and refollow (I followed him on Twitter’s advice when i first joined, i think, and he autofollowed back). Now i’ve found out he’s left me because i wasn’t famous enough. Pfft. This means war. Or maybe a blog post on it.
He hasn’t blocked me yet, which would make a much better blog post – obviously i need to tweet something weird at him… i’m thinking rabbits, obviously – it worked on William Shatner!
Ta for the inspiration as always,
you gorgeous creature.
Sheila (@stinginthetail)´s last blog ..The sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike…
goddamnit, I was reading this with the hope it would break my insomnia and I would fall peacefully to sleep over my laptop, but no, I laughed until I almost peed my pants (except I’m not wearing any, so I guess I almost peed the couch) which means I’m not only awake but now I may have to call in the steam cleaners. I think I’ll send you the bill. I take cash. And hookers.
Lynn @ human, being´s last blog ..Visitation
I think Shatner will eventually discover how he missed out on a very cool relationship opportunity with The Bloggess.
That’s when you should hit him up for a pony!
tokenblogger´s last blog ..20 minutes…
OK, so first of all, I totally have to stop reading you because I’m starting to emulate you unintentionally (see my latest post). Also, Bill is a fucking fruit cake. I follow him, but will now block him in effigy to you. He’s constantly talking about doing night-time talk shows that I never see him on, and supposedly he subbed for Regis one day, but I didn’t watch it so he may or may not have been lying. I suspect that he was lying cause who is going to call out Captain Kirk when he looks at you and says, “Denny Crane” as he and Adrian Zmed and Heather Locklear point handguns at you while forcing you to book air travel and hotels. That would fuck up your day more than cotton-candy-blue bush in midget clown porn… Oh, wait, sorry that was my blog. Anyway, fuck Bill Shatner and his many, many hookers. I wonder if they have hookers on Priceline… but would you really want a Priceline hooker? My guess is yes, cause men are pigs, especially William Shatner. I have to go block him on twitter now.
Aria’z Ink´s last blog ..A Few Questions I Had To Work Out On Paper For Your Enjoyment
aww….he doesn’t deserve to be followed.
Meg´s last blog ..TheDressingRoom.PoorPlanning
Well, Ms. Bloggess, you know I love you but he IS William Fucking Shatner. I mean, you probably aren’t his first stalker if you know what I’m saying. He’s got to protect the the business.
How awful! and you still reeling from the blow of Victor being stabbed… Sometimes life just isn’t fair. (or even makes any sense.)
Your brilliant wit and humor will save the day and hopefully your sanity. Shatner and his minion may be able to hit the twitter block button, but neither did it with a drop of wit or humor… so fie on him, and yay on you!.
truestarr´s last blog ..To The Lifeboats!
Totally unrelated, but I found a place that makes Ninja Star business cards, and the first thing I thought was Jenny @ the Bloggess. I think they’d be pretty cool just to leave randomly places, dinner out, the coffee shop, etc. Hopefully leaving ninja stars around is not a crime, I mean they’re only made from cardstock, it’s not like the real thing made out of sharp shiny metal. Though that would be way cooler.
Damn, that’s cold.
Although this makes me want to blog about the one time my husband saw William Shatner at a convention a long, long time ago. (In a galaxy far, far away.)
Also, I’m totally blocking Shatner on Twitter.
steen´s last blog ..Putting the “FUN” in FUrNiture!
Maybe you should have offered to let him play with your Tribble.
always home and uncool´s last blog ..Come Back, Little Purple Dinosaur
Well that is just wrong. I suggest you NOW send him dead hamsters in the mail or find someone to hack into Priceline’s website and write “I Suck” all over Shatner’s pictures… what a douche.
Amanda´s last blog ..Classic Movies
Other than a really funny album Shatner made one time, I think you’re ok. Maybe you could ask for Don Johnson’s help.
Jules´s last blog ..What Would Crockett and Tubbs Do?
Wait…hold on…I know this joke about William Shatner….how does it go???….oh im terrible at these things…anyway….the punch line is……because William Shatner…
Karl´s last blog ..Properties in Santanyi
You should totally make t-shirts that say “William Shatner is too good for you” and then you can go on Oprah and sell them and THEN he’d be sorry. Oh fuck, okay forget the Oprah part, you already fucked that part up. But I hear QVC has open casting calls and that’s like the next best thing, right?
Bridget´s last blog ..Gah knows I love me a good riot
I think you should be flatterred that he went out of his way to block you.
Rachel@ It’s a Hero´s last blog ..wine slushies and exhausting days of keeping busy
Well damn, here I was all set to order the ENTIRE season of Star Trek just so I could have the episode, “Trouble with Tribbles” and now, not so much. I’ll just watch it on YouTube.
Take that William Shatner! That’ll teach you.
Now Jenny, I’m sure that the Shatster really DOES care about your marriage. He loves marriage; after all hasn’t he been married like 3 times? You just don’t do that if you don’t totally respect the institution. I mean really! And did you not see that interview with him at his house immediately after his last wife died from drowning? He was a complete wreck. And don’t hold it against him that he didn’t call 911 right away. It was because he was so distraught. Yes I know he was doing that whole Rescue 911 show and everything at that time in his life, but you know, sometimes when you’re so close to something you just tend to block it out when it’s happening to you…
No, I’m quite sure that the main reason he blocked you is because he’s not allowed to extend his Priceline.com employee discount beyond immediate family. You know, that and the whole hooker thing. C’mon Jenny, celebrities have reputations to uphold. A little discretion might have been in order.
karen @agentninety9´s last blog ..Teenagers are stupid, blind and delusuional.
I live in the awesome city of Lexington, Ky and we have this one really nice bookstore, which has a nice, teensy bit pretentious cafe in it, where I used to work as a baker many years ago. William Shatner comes and eats there all the time. Now I never actually met him, because I was always in the back, but my friends who were servers all said that he was a complete dick who tips really poorly. And he’s rich, so that shit is just unacceptable. And also, he would get really pissed when anybody came up and asked him about Star Trek. He’s Captain Kirk, he should’ve accepted by now.
Sorry if that’s disappointing. The man and the myth are very different. That’s why it’s never good to meet the famous people we love in reality because then we lose the myth and all we have left is an actual person who is probably annoying.
Lost Artist´s last blog ..Meet Sid Vicious
So many people say you’re funny that it gets to sounding unoriginal but oh honey. Gold.
Laurie´s last blog ..Three Places I’ve Lived – Roommate From Hell Edition
Bill has NO sense of humour trust me this is many years ago in Montreal Canada (his hometown) he was at Notre Dame Cathedral we saw him so one of my pals says “hey Bill” the man just GLARED at him. Not really a people person if ya ask me. He can rot in his gnome nightmares
habanerogal´s last blog ..It’s time for a trip to The Big Smoke
I heard his ass was all fat and stuff. who wants to hang out with a fat assed man?
Martie´s last blog ..Meet My Girl…
Bill just didn’t want the world to know that he likes asian cheerleaders….clearly not your fault. You should probably send him those dead hamsters now.
The hell? You won’t be getting anymore updates on his Christmas songs?
I so totally have got your back.
JChevais´s last blog ..Cuckoo in the Nest
amazing
I think Adrian Zmed needs to be the new Bill Shatner.
i think you should totally redirect your love towards someone who deserves it, like The Hoff. The Hoff would NEVER block you, especially if you are providing the hookers
fidget´s last blog ..Baby Names: beating a dead horse
As the Shatner fan you answered in your advice column, I must say that based on this, my love for the Shatner has come to an abrupt end. Not only for blocking you, but for attacking your blog. This is war, Shatner. And in case anyone hasn’t told you, Jean Luc Piccard would kick the shit out of you. Man boobs. Yes, I’ve reduced this to cheap shots about your physical appearance. That’s how much you anger me. And you have a really fat head. And TJ Hooker sucked. You suck. Turning down hookers at the bloggess’ house. Who do you think you are? Fathead manboobs, that’s who.
MayoPie´s last blog ..Oh, I’ll leave you alone
I think maybe this means you’re moving up in the world. After all YOU blocked Oprah (which, quite frankly…is pretty awesome), and now you’ve been blocked by Shatner.
Big Time baby. You’ve reached it.
Lynette´s last blog ..Or maybe it’s just me?
And now *I* have blocked The Shat. All for you, girlfriend. And because he probably doesn’t care about my marriage either. And because I don’t want him to destroy my blog.
xo
God, Jenny. First Lisa Whelchel, now this? You can’t catch a break. Maybe that is a good thing?
Also, girlfriend??? Any guy that has the past tense for “shit” in his LAST NAME is a total doofus and is so not worth your time. I say, move on.
cagey´s last blog ..My Favorite Things
I used priceline once and they’ve been hogging up my inbox ever since. NEVER AGAIN! Priceline is going straight to my spam folder. Take that Bill!
3boys1mommy´s last blog ..Sports Illustrated Will Have To Wait
RT @Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn!
Ken´s last blog ..And 65% Think You Should Be Required To Serve Salmon At The Wedding
I’m going to second what Lost Artist says above. A friend of mine from Kentucky approached him in a restaurant there to tell him she was a big fan and he was a real a-hole to her. Therefore, he totally sounds like someone who would block a woman in need of having her marriage saved. He’s selfish like that. And you should definitely have a secret agent following him for you that lets you know when he records Christmas albums.
Brutalism´s last blog ..A Woman’s Prerogative
Are you aware that you’ve made it onto Gawker???
http://gawker.com/5336650/psychos-are-the-most-interesting-things-on-twitter
(PS, I’ve been following your blog on my Google reader for FOREVER and think you’re hilarious
)
~Beth
ANDPLUSALSO,
I just realized that you probably DO know you’re on Gawker because your web traffic probably clearly shows where new visitors are coming from. So you probably didn’t need my help there. I just thought it was crazy that I read your entry on my Reader this morning and then all of a sudden there you were on another website.
Being called a psycho. Which I think is just totally uncalled for. William Shatner os the psycho.
I’d bet that Blair has you blocked too!
Wow, that’s kinda cool at the same time…out of those 10000+ followers, william noticed YOU! I bet he doesn’t just block people everyday. So fuck ya, it’s almost as good as him writing back, right? …hmmmm, maybe not.
Eh, who cares George Takei is much, much cooler anyway.
Krista B´s last blog ..If anyone sees my bed, tell it I miss it!
Pehsaw…Bill is so below you now.
I mean come on, you were on Gawker of all places!
Toe´s last blog ..Drabble Dribble Drobble
I wouldn’t worry too much. Its not like he actually posts anything useful on twitter anyways…. I fear he’s going the way of Denny Crane!
mcangeli´s last blog ..Old School Nintendo
Dear God you’re fucking hilarious.
trinity67´s last blog ..covet
LOL. this is just tooooo awesome!
trentrampage´s last blog ..Lovvers
See, this is what happens when you not only try to invoke The Shat, but control the singular force of nature that he is. The Shat is a force unto himself, and beware the invocation of it, for once summoned it can not be controlled. Entire television networks simply can’t contain the awesome power that is The Shat. You played with fire and got burned.
daniel´s last blog ..The Sons Coming To Disc
Shatner is just jealous that you got feedback from Wil Wheaton.
Mr Farty´s last blog ..We Are A Grandmother
Quite possibly one of the funniest blog posts, I’ve EVER read.
La Jolla M om´s last blog ..Eat Tomato Paste to Fight Wrinkles and Sun Damage
Jenny you always know how to make me smile. Sorry that dear ole Bill “shat” on you like that. That was just NOT cool – but look at it this way – great way to get yourself noticed by the celebs in Hollywood! Maybe Ashton is looking for a cool stalker like yourself roflmao!
Love ya babe!
TMWW´s last blog ..Kleptomaniacs with a Penchance for Pyromania – Yep, Those Are My Boys!
At least you’re still ON Twitter. My account was suspended over a month ago and no matter how many times I try, or how nicely I ask, they won’t reinstate it. Not sure how I qualified as a spammer…or how I could possibly offend someone enough to have them complain. I’m still hurting.
megscole64´s last blog ..Now I’ve Seen Everything
See, things like this make me glad that I would rather bang Picard. What a relief that I can finally come out of the proverbial Trekkie closet about this.
Also, did you notice how his nickname is the past tense of a bowel movement? SHAT. Just sayin…
LiLu´s last blog ..TMI Thursday: I Hope He Called the Corner Pocket
One day soon famous people will discover that they need to check to see if someone is a blogger before they piss them off/hurt their feelers. Silly old people, they don’t know the powers of the intarwebz! I now think he’s a big poopface.
Also, he was much hotter as Chris Pine, anyway.
Ameya´s last blog ..Personal Change vs Social Change (& Breeder-Hate)
Who is William Shatner? Also, congrats on Gawker calling you a pycho. Your mommy must be proud.
with tweets like those, i’d block you too
You don’t need W.S., follow me, I have a much more interesting life. For example, I had to rescue a groundhog from my pool today, plus I have a full head of hair that isn’t glued on and wasn’t made in China.
bookbabie´s last blog ..dog’s life
william shatner sings??
that’s just wrong. everyone should unfollow him for that.
lydee´s last blog ..Garden Eye Candy
Way cool: What I Learned From The Bloggess Today: people DO know if you’ve blocked them! Always wondered about that… Dudette! You know I love you! Don’t block me, k? <3
gurukarm (@karma_musings)´s last blog ..Prop 8, Gay Marriage, and Sikhs
Dude! You have arrived! The Shat unfollowed you!
Jealous now.
Coal Miner’s Granddaughter´s last blog ..Calendar Girl, Part 2
Give up on Shat and throw your alliance to George Takei. Seriously, I met the man once and he was lovely to everyone he talked to. He would save your marriage or at least write a supportive note on your dog and send it to you from a crossed the street just in case a fishing gaff jumps out from behind a bush and tries to accidentally stab him. Plus George is married so you don’t have to waste your money on hookers.
Condo Blues´s last blog ..I Took My Dog to Work Today!
I forgot to mention maybe being blocked by William Shatner is a good thing and it’s a sign that you’ve arrived. Just think about it Shat had his Twitter minion pick through over 10 thousand followers to block you, Jenny. That’s love and devotion.
It could be worse. I just followed someone and they send me a nice DM and asked me to be their Facebook Friend. I replied and couldn’t send it because they weren’t following me on Twitter. I feel used and not in a good way. I’m so D List.
Condo Blues´s last blog ..I Took My Dog to Work Today!
i pretty much love you
Sara @heartmychloe´s last blog ..Wordless Wednesday
Jenny, yours is the only blog that makes me cackle. Honestly, cackling is really undignified. I blame the Shat. The fact that he blocked you makes my love for your blog boundless. Boundless and cackling.
Louise´s last blog ..Hurry up and wait
Well MAYBE if your ass was painted green he wouldn’t have blocked you. I always stay green just in case.
LS´s last blog ..Examiner Update
So, you’re saying he’s not coming over?
The very idea. I mean you defaulted to the Asian cheerleader complimantary hostess hooker and everything… which of course is the Emily Post preferred method of big pimpin’ for your guests. Clearly he is a racist or he’d have shown up.
Sher´s last blog ..Hump Day Hump Huntin’
Just so you know, William Shatner has lost at least 2000 followers over this debacle.
Now that’s the power of the internet. ROAR!
JChevais´s last blog ..Cuckoo in the Nest
Perhaps Leonard Nemoy would be more understanding.
Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..Free Fun
In unrelated Shatner news, I heard that The Shat can only get off to videos of himself getting off. True story.
carolinemichelle´s last blog ..Make it a betta place…
I don’t think the twitter version of William Shatner is real. Because I sent him a bunch of questions that only William Shatner would know the answers to, and he never answered them and then he blocked me too. Only a faker would do that. The REAL Shatner wouldn’t have been able to resist proving that he was the real Shatner. It’s like when someone accuses you of a crime, if you’re innocent you’ll scream and cry until they believe you, but if you’re guilty you just look up and whistle and pretend you didn’t hear them.
Not that that’s ever happened to me.
Also, I made my questions all ass-kissy and sexy-like and I’m pretty sure the real Shatner would have been ALL OVER that.
Bejewell´s last blog ..I Stabbed a Guy Whose Eyebrows Are Like Haystacks But He Didn’t Die and That Pisses Me Off
I seriously hate William Shatner and hsi stupid, boring, fat face.
Tina´s last blog ..Old People, this one is for you!
There’s a reason he’s called “Shat.”
muskrat´s last blog ..son, your government’s writing checks the muskrat just cashed
PS- Skywalker could totally kick Kirk’s ass. Take that, Shat.
muskrat´s last blog ..son, your government’s writing checks the muskrat just cashed
OMG you made the Stephanie Miller show on Air America. Of course they called you a drunken Houston blogger and sited your Mommyblog, but still.
Thank you for getting me through my workday.
You are a saint.
Well actually not even close to a saint, but I love you nevertheless.
I can’t believe you’ve been cheating on Wil Wheaton with William Shatner. I thought your love for him was eternal. I don’t know if I can be friends with you anymore. Okay, yes I can, but it just won’t be the same.
annettek´s last blog ..off the grid
My love for Wil Wheaton is eternal and undying. Maybe that’s why Shatner is ignoring me.
He’s definitly mad about the hooker thing. Don’t even JOKE about making Shat pay for his own hooker!
Cocktail Confidential´s last blog ..Baby’s First Babysitter
Don’t give up so easy. Can’t you see this is a test of your love? You should find out where he lives and send him flowers and candy and panties. Then arrive a week later with a giant sign that says “Bill, it’s me! I’m having your baby!” Invite TMZ so that he’ll see how much you love him on television.
He’s waiting for you, I’m sure of it.
He’s nobody. His loss. Follow SmartAsShat, he is SO much more interesting, anyway. Not sure though if he sings Mr. Tambourine Man or Lucy in the Sky With DIamonds…so there IS that…
T.
Tina@SendChocolate´s last blog ..I’ve Never Done This Before, What Will People Think? – PR Spotlight
I think the best revenge would be to immediately start following Patrick Stewart, Avery Brooks, Kate Mulgrew, and Scott Bakula. Be like “Forget you, Bill. I’ve got other friends!”
Here’s a hint: if you want to read The Shat’s tweets, simply go to his page but don’t log on to Twitter! Or, you can create another Twitter account (e.g. “NotTheBloggess”) and use that one to follow him. He’ll never know.
~EdT.
Ed T.´s last blog ..It’s Wordless Wednesday: Get the point?
Oh, and btw I showed him… I just blocked WilliamShatner!
~EdT.
Ed T.´s last blog ..Hell’s Kitchen: It Ain’t Lovely
If he does come over, for God’s sake, don’t go anywhere near the pool.
William Shatner is boring as hell on Twitter — I have no idea why one earth so many people are following him. *yawn* On the other hand, you, my dear Bloggess, are definitely not boring. He’s the one missing out by blocking you. Have some compassion for his poor, sad, pathetic, bloggess-less life.
Louise´s last blog ..Digital cable love/hate relationship
I don’t remember exactly what path I took that lead me to your blog. Maybe I was just beamed here. For the love of all thinks trekkie I am damn glad I found you. This is utterly hilarious.
Ms Batman´s last blog ..Coming Home
Oh Shat. He’s missing out that’s for sure! You’re hilarious. Thanks for sharing!
Lucie´s last blog ..You gotta know when to fold ‘em
You make me laugh. I think I peed a little.
Raychel Celeste´s last blog ..Anonymity Online
Wow, this is heavy. I mean, it’s not like you made fun of his toupée or weight. Oh crap, did I just do that?
And, he has a terrible follow-back ratio. Guys like that don’t really “get” Twitter. Arnold Schwarzenegger, yes, the Shat, no. I wouldn’t think too much of this: Mr Shatner clearly sees Twitter as a one-way street, i.e. a medium to market himself.
Pity Ricardo Montalbán has passed away. You could have followed Khan in retaliation.
Jack Yan´s last blog ..How your website looks, as graphics
Wait, so let me get this straight. You’re angry because William Shatner blocked you? And your marriage is failing and you went to William Shatner for help? Um, sorry but you’re an idiot. William Shatner isn’t a marriage counselor! He couldn’t help you even if he tried! Ha.