My friend, Hannah, just sent me an email to alert me about breaking news on Yahoo:
Holy shit, y’all.
And my first thought was “I have to share this with the internets immediately because WTF, news media? Why is this a top story?!” And then my second thought is that I shouldn’t tell anyone about it until I have a chance to go out and buy all the Eggos I can find first because this way I get a headstart on the hoarding. But no, I decided to share with you now because I have integrity. And because I already have a box of Eggos in my fridge. Which I will be selling on ebay. Starting bid? Eight hundred thousand dollars. They’re the buttermilk-flavored ones though so, yeah…they’re totally worth it.
Also, I just read the actual news story and it gets even better. Actual quotes from top story, which by the way, comes from CNN:
Eggo enthusiasts took to the Internet to mourn the shortage. Lovers of theTwilight vampire movie series thinking about another kind of bite, as Twitter fanpage editors comforted each other via the social media site
User @KStew411, a page devoted to Twilight star Kristen Stewart, tweeted on Tuesday: “I am despondent. DESPONDENT. My 4 food groups are: tacos, skittles, pop, and eggos!”
User @cullenluv sent a message of support: “We’re outta Eggos here, too!! It’s a national tragedy!!
THAT’S ALL IN THE NEWS STORY. Honestly, people. I couldn’t even make this shit up. It’s like we’re living in The Onion.
Comment of the day: I fed my two year old Eggos for breakfast today, before I knew they were rare. I’m taking $100,000 out of his college fund to make up for him eating such a rare commodity. You know, if he had $100,000 in his college fund, which he doesn’t. So basically he isn’t going to college. Hope you enjoyed your waffles, kid. ~ Erin