Hope for Anissa

I don’t think I’ve ever done this before on this blog and I hope that I never have to do it again but I’m asking for your help.  If you read this blog a lot then you already know Anissa Mayhew because she’s a regular commenter.  She’s a blogger, a reader and a faithful friend.  More than once Anissa has had my back during rough times.  She’s a founding member of The Bloggess Army (codename: Kaiser Soze).  She’s publicly defended me more than once…mostly from myself.  She’s hysterical and witty and bitingly sarcastic and now she’s struggling to survive after having a massive stroke.  She’s younger than me.  She has three young children.  One of those children is Peyton, a beautiful and sunshiney childhood cancer survivor.  This isn’t Anissa’s first stroke.  Her first left her with struggles that she turned into inappropriate jokes that made me laugh and cry at the same time.  She’s good at that, dammit.  So why is she getting so much shit dumped on her in her life?  I keep asking myself that.  Probably she peed on a shrine or accidentally murdered a Saint in a former life.  It’s hard to tell with Anissa.  But what I do know is that once she fought for me, and today I’m going to do my best to do it for her, even if she’s not really conscious enough to know it.  They don’t know if Anissa will survive this but she’s strong as hell and I can only assume that a part of her brain heard the doctors give her such low odds and was all “Fuck you, asshole.”  And I second that.  “Fuck you, asshole.” Because one of the only things I can do here is to curse at the world.  The other thing I can do is pray and honestly, I’m shitty at that and I don’t even know if God is taking my calls because I called him a zombie once but I’m trying, dammit. You should try too, non-Athiests who haven’t offended God.  Hell, you athiests try too.  It’s not like you have anything to lose for fuck’s sake.  And there’s one more thing you can do.  Donate.  Even if it’s just $3 for a Happy Meal.  Don’t have any money?  I understand completely.  See that ad thingy on the right that says something like “Youdata – You should have been paid to look at this, dumbass”?  That’s an ad network that pays you directly if you sign up to watch ads.  If you don’t look at them nothing happens…I don’t get paid and neither do you.  If you do sign up to see ads it’ll pay you if you click on them and there’s a slider on the top that’s defaulted to give me half.  Sign up and slide the slider over so it gives me nothing and gives you everything.  Put it all in your paypal account and then send it over to Anissa using the link below.  It’ll take less than 15 minutes and I personally made $5 watching ads myself the first time I signed in.  If everyone reading today donated $5 we could make her thousands of dollars in one day just by clicking on a few minutes of ads.  You don’t even have to do it from this site.  You can go directly to the Youdata site and watch there.  Plus, I’m good friends with the people who own it because they’re from my home town so I can vouch for their honesty and they never spam.  Or you can skip all that and just donate money directly at this link.  Or you can send her family gift cards for restaurants.  Her PO address and a list of local restaurants is here.

Also, if you came here looking for comedy just skip down to the next post.  You insensitive bastard.

PS?  Thanks, you guys.

Me and Anissa a few months ago. You can't see it but she's *totally* grabbing my boob here.  That's why she looks so peaceful.
Me and Anissa a few months ago. You can't see it but she's *totally* grabbing my boob here. That's why she looks so peaceful.

PPS.  If you think Anissa would be offended by this post then you don’t know Anissa.  She’d laugh her ass off at it and roll her eyes at the treacly parts and probably call me a douche-canoe.  And that’s why she has to get better.  Wake up, Anissa.

PPPS.  You can keep up with Anissa’s progress at Hope4Peyton.org.

Comment of the day:  I don’t know Anissa but honestly I can’t NOT hear about her. She is everywhere. On Twitter. On blogs. EVERYWHERE. She must be special if so many people love her. ~ JenniferG

121 thoughts on “Hope for Anissa

Read comments below or add one.

  1. If she could, Anissa would give those doctors a crotch-kick, face-punch, two middle fingers and perhaps moon them. WHEN she wakes up, I’m sure that she will. No doubt.
    .-= Twig´s last blog ..Damn It All, Anissa =-.

  2. I met Anissa for exactly one minute at BlogHer, during the speed dating thing. You know how hard it is to remember anyone from a mass of people you barely talk to long enough to get a name? I remember HER. I was blown away by her energy and charisma. This news of her stroke has messed me up a bit this week. Thirty five and so much shit. I will never understand this.
    .-= Junk Drawer Kathy´s last blog ..Wasting a Perfectly Good Pumpkin =-.

  3. I know she’d be proud of this post, and all of the posts out there… I’ve been praying like heck since I heard about her on tuesday… I’m going to post on my blog too.. I’ve just been trying to find the right words…

    I need to get out of my house and grab a bunch of gift cards dammit…
    .-= MommyBrain´s last blog ..WiskHE presents Bubbles & Bubbly =-.

  4. I don’t know Anissa but honestly I can’t NOT hear about her. She is everywhere. On Twitter. On blogs. EVERYWHERE. She must be special if so many people love her. Thanks Jenny for posting this… even though it is different than what we have come to expect from you, that is what makes it so damn powerful. Douche-canoe? Awesome.
    .-= JenniferG´s last blog ..Fitness Friday … Keeping Off Thanksgiving Weight Gain =-.

  5. Thanks for letting us know how we can help. Sending her and her family big heaps of love.

    And Dr’s are such fucking fatalists and are often wrong.

  6. I have seen tweets from the moment the blogging community found out about this. I had never heard of Anissa, and now I have read her blog..seen all her friends comments and blog posts. All I can say is Wow!…what an amazing support& love in the blogosphere. I hope to meet you all and Anissa one day. I can feel the real connections. And I will continue to pray for her.
    .-= Blanca Stella Mejia´s last blog ..Inner Peace & An Active Mind Creates =-.

  7. I’m just so fucking pissed at the universe. But I’m still praying, just in case what I don’t believe in believes in Anissa and can do something for her.
    .-= Velma´s last blog ..NaBloItAgain… =-.

  8. You….
    (OK, I started to say “complete me” only because that’s the first thing that jumped into my head after “you…”) are a great friend and I can’t wait to hear what else Anissa calls you when she wakes up because ‘douche-canoe’ is five kinds of wonderful.

    Also– God talks to me ALL THE TIME (I think He’s kinda stalking me on Facebook, too) and He told me to tell you He will totally take your calls, and also He’s still laughing about the whole boobie puddings thing.)
    .-= Babybloomr´s last blog ..Magdalene House =-.

  9. J, one of the things that has kept my spirits up for Anissa is reading your tweets, and now this post. Not only do your words make me laugh my ass off, but I know they would make Anissa laugh her ass off too because this is the language she loves. I can’t wait for her to wake up so she can see all of the love and support and oh-so-fitting snark that has been sent her way. -Christine
    .-= Boston Mamas´s last blog ..Fruit Salad For Your Face =-.

  10. Your cover is now officially blown, your tough girl persona has a crack. Big softy inside. Your care and generosity for your friend is apparent and you have really helped all of us who don’t know Anissa wish that we did. I’m praying for her and her family.
    When she’s back in the saddle we can all revert to our snarky alter egos.
    .-= The Mayor´s last blog ..Just Because We Can Doesn’t Mean We Should =-.

  11. I’m with a lot of the other commenters. I did not know much about Anissa until these past few days. She sounds like an amazing woman. I’m definitely sending up a bunch of prayers. Wonderful post.
    .-= Jennie´s last blog ..D.I.Y. Toddler Style =-.

  12. Ya know, I was sitting here thinking after I posted my last comment and I just don’t get it. I don’t know Anissa (or you, Miss Bloggess) personally but I know ‘of’ her via the women-bloggers community. And her situation, with her strokes and her daughter’s cancer, I can’t help but wonder why is it that life just seems to dump so much shit on some people while others just seem to coast through life and have everything delivered to them on silver platters by really hot half naked guys? As a Shit Dumpee myself, I can tell ya it SUCKS.

    But it makes us stronger people too. It makes us see life through some very twisted glasses which is probably why the world looks so funny to people like you and Anissa and why you’re both just so hilarious and witty and charismatic. People love you, people love Anissa, and that’s a pretty fucking amazing reward to get for surviving it all, right?
    .-= April´s last blog ..How Wal-Mart ticked me off =-.

  13. You are so fucking awesome and if I wasn’t a dude, I’d have your baby. And I’ll still even try if that’s what you want. Let me know. Fuck you, Asshole, indeed. The BA is in this for the long haul. Links to paypal for donations and Anissa’s Caring Bridge site are also located at http://bloggessarmy.wordpress.com where we will continue to closely monitor this situation. #prayersforanissa
    .-= MayoPie´s last blog ..Please wake up =-.

  14. Love this post. It’s so true. I converted and had the whole Big Fat Greek Wedding thing and I figure joining the Orthodox Church sort of gives me a fastpass to God. I’ve been saving it up but I’m cashing it in now. I sent a note to the Archdiocese to ask for their prayers on Anissa’s behalf.

    She once did a guest post on my blog. I love her like a sister. This sucks. And swallows.
    .-= threeundertwo´s last blog .. =-.

  15. I am sorry you are hurting and afraid and I am wishing all the wellness I can get my hands on for Anissa and her family.

  16. You’re so tits, Jenny. Perfect Post. And I think your analysis of Anissa’s reaction to it is spot on.
    Love you and love her.
    My faith has been kicked all over the place in the past several years, but I’m praying my ass off anyway.

    I’ll be screaming “FUCK YOU ASSHOLE” all day in her honor. Hope people can deal with that, because I won’t have time to explain it to every jerk on the road or at the grocery store. Pffft.

    .-= Sarcastic Mom / Lotus´s last blog ..The rhythm of our lives. =-.

  17. Laughing/crying here. I’m pretty sure God’s still listening to me, because even though most days my husband so totally pisses me off I’d like to brain him, God let him live when I requested it. Yeah – so I’ll send a few up – minus any expletives.

  18. Thanks for this, Jenny. Sending $, love, and pagan prayers to Anissa (I didn’t invite God to my wedding, and he might still be mad about that).

    Anissa moderated our panel on Authentic Voice at the Type-A-Mom con, which was the most profane panel ever. And the most fun.
    .-= Edgy Mama´s last blog ..A writer’s experiences =-.

  19. I already donated. I love that lady fiercely. The last time I talked to her she was trying to explain to me an innuendo about a sausage that I *totally* misunderstood on twitter.

    I need her, we need her and she knows it. She’s strong enough. She will fight this.

  20. I just started reading your blog last week and I have no idea who Anissa is, but I donated. Please don’t ask me to drink the kool-aid, ’cause evidently I just might do whatever you say.

    Seriously, I will pray. Stupid life.


  21. What a crock. I just have to believe Anissa will kick that stroke’s sorry ass. She sounds like a scrapper. Good thoughts and donations headed her way.
    .-= Michele´s last blog ..A Little R&R! =-.

  22. I am heading over to make a donation now.. My prayers are with Anissa & her beautiful family.
    Please remember that laughter is truly the best medicine & no one better for that job than you Jenny.
    Also, God loves you even if you do think he is a zombie.

  23. For the countless free laughs, I will gladly make a contribution to your friends.
    You may have killed a saint in a previous life, but in this one you live honestly, without regard for pretention and from the heart. Your humor, though uncensored, is full of humility and truth. What wouldn’t God love about that?

  24. I’d totally do what you suggest with YouData, but I signed up and they don’t do stuff for us Canadians, yet. It makes me sad. 🙁

    And I hope everything works out. I’m in a similar situation with my mom, but a lot less severe(from what I hear she’s getting out today, if Murphy’s Law doesn’t kick in), so I send my best wishes for this whole situation. Hang in there.

  25. My brother’s funeral was yesterday. My dad’s was last month. I don’t think Anissa needs to go just yet. She can wait her turn, darn it. I scrolled to the bottom and clicked the paypal link before I’d even finished reading your post. What a lucky lady to have you on her side!
    .-= curiously random´s last blog ..brothers =-.

  26. Thank you for posting this. I’m touched by your love for Anissa. However, I’m not watching any damn ads – I’m in advertising and frankly, fuck more ads. However, I will donate some of my easy-earned cash for your dear friend’s family. AND, get this – I will pray my ASS off. I think God kinda likes me. Sending you prayers as well, so you can be strong for your boob-grabbing girlfriend. xo simone
    .-= Simone´s last blog ..People are doing stupid shit every day and getting away with it =-.

  27. Thanks for making me cry, asshole. I donated as well and now I am also afraid of what you will ask me to do next, because apparently I am a lemming. My thoughts and prayers to Anissa’s family and friends.

  28. Genius idea! I was lucky enough to meet Anissa at Type A Mom Con where we shared dinner and a chat. I am just getting to know her and really want more time. This is a fantastic way for everyone to help and I will definitely be contributing.

    .-= @sweetbabboo´s last blog ..Scrooges, All of You =-.

  29. This is perfect. And you’re right, Anissa would absolutely love it AND call you a douche-canoe. I’ve been praying like crazy since Tuesday, and hopefully somebody up there will get the message soon enough. I honestly don’t care if it’s God, Jesus, OR the Holy Ghost, just as long as the whole “make Anissa wake the hell up” memo gets across.

    Oh, and I just mailed off my little care package to them yesterday. So, done and done.
    .-= cindy w´s last blog ..Free Anissa =-.

  30. Jenny, I love you and will do whatever you say. Please use this awesome power you have over me carefully–like by not asking me to watch fucking ads. I sent some money for Anissa via PayPal.

  31. God is taking your calls. And He’ll really like that you have encouraged athiests to pray. If they won’t listen to Him, they’ll listen to The Bloggess, right? See you are like Mother Teresa! Kinda.

    I’m praying. And I can’t wait to see her comment on this post. She’ll love it.
    .-= amy2boys´s last blog ..My Martha Stewart Moment =-.

  32. I am pretty sure God is still taking your calls. He never sent me any Boobie Mushrooms. But I will put some calls in myself on this one. Kick that stroke’s ass Anissa!

    Long Live The Bloggess Army!

  33. Thank you for the YouData option, Jenny. I feel more productive clicking away there than at Anissa’s site clicking refresh waiting for more news.

    I love the way douche-canoe rolls off the tongue – and Anissa would totally say something like that filled with absolute love. Douche-canoe or not, you rock, Jenny.

    Wakey wakey, Anissa!!
    .-= Michele {moxygen}´s last blog ..Aw Screw It! =-.

  34. Unfortunately being as poor as I am (unemployed and living with an unemployed students whose parents pay for everything…) I can’t donate, but I’ve emailed everyone I know with the link to your blog (some gems first because people need to understand how completely awesome you are first, and then the link to this one.) Even if I only get one person to read, that counts right?

    And I’d try praying, but last time I prayed to the Christian God I was totally high and ended up talking to a park bench… Anyhow, I’ll put in a good word with my Gods to see if they’d like to make things right for some karma points (since evidentally you control a good part of the world)

  35. Fantastic woman. So sad to hear. I know she is kickin ass though right now! I wish her and her family well. My mother survived three massive strokes, so I know it is possible. Prayers sent!

  36. Just started reading this blog because of Open Salon. Jenny, you make me guffaw at work…saw this today and signed up for You Data straight away. Read Anissa’s last post and I can see why you two get along. So good luck and Godspeed to Anissa and her family. As soon as I figure out how to take the $ from my paypal acct and send it to Anissa I will. Happy meals for everyone!

  37. dammit Jenny thanks for making me cry AGAIN…UGH this whole thing with Anissa has me all hormonally imbalanced and weepy…and I dont KNOW the woman, have never had the chance to meet her but everything that everyone has written about her…she has SO MUCH to give this world and seems like such an incredible woman and her blogs make me feel like I know her…. WAKE UP WAKE UP…you have a disney cruise to go on…Thanks for a great post *weak smile*
    .-= JessieInAZ´s last blog ..The BEST Homemade Pot Pie EVER! =-.

  38. I’ve been praying each night and I’ve only read one of her posts. I just found aiminglow.com like a couple weeks ago and she did a post on yard work that had me rolling. And now she’s somewhere in a hospital bed. So, yeah, I’ve been praying. And watching aiminglow incessantly for any word of an update. Pull through, Anissa! You’re too valuable to all of us to go anywhere!
    .-= Amy´s last blog ..If you’re not one of us, you don’t understand… =-.

  39. …I can only assume that a part of her brain heard the doctors give her such low odds and was all “Fuck you, asshole.”

    My grandmother did exactly this as her doctor stood over her telling us we needed to stop feeding her through the tube as her life was pretty much over. She recovered from her multiple strokes that round plus heart attack and lived another happy three years. Here’s hoping Anissa pulls the same stunt.

  40. I just sent my donation with love and blessings for Anissa and her family and for you and your family.

    Um … about the photo of you and Anissa — I know I always say that I love you pure and chaste from afar … but … I do hope to meet you in person one day and have my photo taken with you, too, so … just to be clear … is grabbing your boob during a photo only an option for your straight friends, or just when there’s a balance issue, as in, “can’t keep my” … or is it traditional for ALL your close friends and most devoted admirers?
    .-= Cynthia Yockey, A Conservative Lesbian´s last blog ..Oprah picked Obama to be president and is surprised to be under the bus now that he doesn’t need her any more =-.

  41. You are a good person. I know you hate to hear that. Because you are a mental case and have everything backwards….but YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON damn it. Just accept it.

    Anissa is totally gonna get better. And she is gonna be all “dude. you frickin (only she won’t say frickin) rock bloggess. Now give me some of that money you made so I can take you out and we can get drunk and grab each other’s boobs”….

    I believe she will come back to us.
    God willing.
    And God loves bloggers btw.
    We mess with main stream media.And that makes God laugh.
    So God?
    Get on this will you?

  42. I think I was being unnecessarily factitious in my previous comment. I just went back to read some of her posts, and then reread the post by her husband. They are really good people that have been through a lot. Seriously, WTF?! Sorry… I can’t help it. It is so close to Thanksgiving. Next week! I know it is going to come out wrong when I say this just makes me even more grateful for everything that did and everything that didn’t…
    .-= submom´s last blog ..Towards a Discussion of Religious Pluralism with a First Grader. Gingerly. =-.

  43. I don’t know Anissa, I’ve never spoken to her, I’ve only read a couple of her posts…but I follow a lot of people who DO know (and love) her, and so I knew who she was when I began seeing the tweets and the blog posts…She is clearly a badass, a very loved one at that, and from the beautiful things you and others have written about her, entirely deserving of that love.

    I’m an atheist, but before I even read this post, I’ve found myself praying for Anissa. I can’t really explain why but like you said, it can’t hurt, can it?

    Hang in there. And Anissa, you hang in there too. xoxo
    .-= Joelle´s last blog ..Huh. I’ve never had sweet tea and lemonade from canes… =-.

  44. You are awesome to do this. Anissa is awesome too. My heart hurts thinking about her family and friend, and I agree that she would love your post.
    .-= Fairly Odd Mother´s last blog ..Shook =-.

  45. Dear miss bloggess…I am a gnostic so I don’t know that there is anyone to pray to that listens to prayers,but I will say that I am hoping for the best outcome for what sounds like a really neat lady, someone who I’m sure I’ed like if I were to meet her. I think you’re a terrific friend for your help to her family. I’ll follow this and hope for the best.

  46. I’m totally going to go watch some ads right now to help her out. I’m broker than a joke, but I have no problem making some internet money to send to Anissa. I hope she gets better. Also, I’m Catholic and i think God answers my calls pretty regularly, so I’ll put in a good word when I talk to him tonight.

  47. Okay, I did the youdata thing. I have to wait until Friday to get paid, but that $1.43 is all hers!

  48. Dear Bloggess – I love how true you are to your friend and to yourself, and am so moved by your loyalty to Anissa. Humor is always healting. Keep giving us a clear picture of her spirit to pray for OR envision as an intention. The science of it all says that sort of thing can and does have an impact and creates miracles. Your clear strong articulation of who she is and her spirit helps the rest of us focus our thoughts and prayers.

    I am envisioning Anissa fully recovered, doing usual things with her children and her husband and writing her next blog post, and RT’ing you.


  49. I just sent some cash help via PayPal. Because you, Jenny, make me laugh alot and you asked me to. So next time you are really down on yourself, remember that you have the power to make total strangers help other total strangers on the internet. DON’T FORGET!!!


  50. This may sound weird but get her some acupuncture as soon as you can. It doesn’t interfere with the modern medicine and is freaking AWESOME for nerve regeneration. In Chinese hospitals, acupuncturists visit the stroke ward daily. I’ve seen incredible recoveries in my patients, even after docs said the patient wouldn’t improve any more. It works best if followed immediately by PT. You can read my thesis here (http://rosefamilyclinic.com/articles.html) under “articles.”

    I have my fingers crossed and sending healing energy for your friend. *hugs*
    .-= Sharon Rose´s last blog ..Singing Larynxes =-.

  51. Grrr! I can’t get the you data to work because my cell phone carrier is not on there. No Sprint? Why?
    So, I will send my thoughts prayers and ferverent hopes with everyone else touched by this woman! And when I get paid, I will donate!
    .-= Chrysalis01´s last blog ..Scientific Research =-.

  52. I’ve only recently found your blog. But when I read this post, along with some of the entries on Anissa’s blogs, this woman’s plight impacted me. I wrote a post about it on my blog, partly in hope that a few of my readers will donate. I’ll also pass my post along to my facebook friends from my networked blog link.
    .-= Theresa Milstein´s last blog ..Stroke =-.

  53. I am praying for Anissa. I will send her family a little gift on payday. After all, it is the season of giving, and it’s the least I can do, I have been blessed in so many ways.

    And Jenny, God does love you, no matter what! You are awesome, but I think you already knew that! 🙂
    .-= Violet´s last blog ..FUCK (that’s all that comes to mind) =-.

  54. I hear about Anissa because it’s all over Twitter but I didn’t realize that I met her until I read your post and saw her photo. I was the mic handler for her panel session at BlogHer is summer. So yeah, do what you can for her, her family’s had a lot of stuff dumped on them and could use all of the good thoughts they can get. Donations for food duirng hospital visits and to help with out of town guests wouldn’t hurt either if you can.
    .-= Condo Blues´s last blog ..Add a Blanket to Your Bed Giveaway =-.

  55. Jenny, i sent Anissa as much Reiki as I could just now. I pray she gets better. If she does, will you let me know?

  56. hi. i just started reading your blog and i love it. it helped pull me out of the worst funk ever today. but, this one… this one had a really profound effect on me. i can tell you really love your friend – so much that you would do anything for her. she’s got a pretty great friend and she seems like a pretty fantastic person. i read the most recent update on her condition. it made me so happy that i brought tears to my eyes. i talk with the Man Upstairs pretty regularly and prayed for her continued recovery and i will keep doing so. God bless Anissa and God bless you. and, yes, even if we go astray, He still takes our calls. 🙂

  57. This is a little late (ok, like 2 months late, but what can I say– I gave up blog-reading for a while and am going back reading all your entries since, like, October)– but when I saw this post, I just had to comment.
    My stepmom had a stroke a little over a year ago (Nov 14, 2008) and was in a coma for about a month. The doctors were all ready to give her organs away because they were almost positive she wasn’t going to wake up… or if she did, they were pretty certain that she’d be in a mostly-vegetative state. They were, frankly, amazed that she made it to the ER.
    A year later, after lots of prayers, time spent in hospitals and nursing homes and rehab facilities, and physical, occupational, and all different kinds of other therapy (remembering how to talk, relearning how to walk, etc.), she is home. Not only is she home, but she is almost back to 100%. She is getting ready to go back to work as a dental assistant, is waiting anxiously to get her driving privileges back, and is getting back to “normal” life.
    Those months she spent in a hospital were some of the hardest on our family and her friends, and I just want to say that Anissa is in my thoughts and prayers. I just went over to check out her blog, and I am so glad to see that she’s on the road to recovery.
    So– better late than never, but had to share. Best wishes for you and Anissa.

Leave a Reply