Am I the only one who suspects that daylight-savings-time is just a ploy made up by aliens so they can abduct us? Because I lost an hour and my first thought is “alien abduction” but everyone else is like “No, it’s just daylight savings time” but then when I ask why we’re even doing daylight savings time they act like I’m the asshole for questioning it and then they get all grumpy and tell me not to tie up the 911 hot-line anymore. And it’s doubly sad because they’re probably grumpy because they’re sore from the abduction which is why I always take a pain pill the night of daylight savings time. Because *I* believe in being prepared. And because I like pain killers. Or maybe the grumpy 911 operators are actually aliens and they’re exhausted because they had to fit in all those abductions in one hour. That’s probably pretty taxing. Aliens are totally the new Santa Claus. For magically fitting in tons of shit in one night…not for being jolly and adorable. I’m on a lot of pain pills. This is probably pretty obvious. Let’s move on to the weekly wrap-up:
This week on my sex column (which is satirical and relatively safe for work if your boss isn’t a douche-canoe):
This week on Good Mom/Bad Mom:
- I am worthy. So are you.
This week on the internets:
This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:
- Breaking news: Some bullshit happening somewhere
- I can name about half of them.
- Painfully poignant. You should watch this.