I’ve been sick, moving, attacked by scorpions, mauled by spiders and I’m so behind that I’m now 2 weeks late on my list of shit-I-did-this-week-when-I-wasn’t-here. Get ready. It’s a long one.
This week on my sex column (which is satirical and vaguely safe for work if your boss isn’t a douche-canoe):
This week on Good Mom/Bad Mom on the Houston Chronicle:
This week on the internets:
- Dead llama fetuses: This is why everyone needs an intern.
- Someone translated my sex column into Hungarian. I have no idea why.
- Comment 152. I think I just got insulted with a word problem.
- Blogger Body Calendar. I’m in it. And naked. Sort of.
This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:
- Panda juice. Drink it or you’ll die. Or at least be assaulted.
- I don’t know either.
- “We’re fucked.”
Comment of the day: Holy crap! Someone insulted me with that exact same word problem! I cried for at least an hour which made me feel bad about myself for being so sensitive, so then I cried more. It’s just so carefully constructed… like a little brain-eating worm that destroys you piece by piece and before you know it, you’re comparing your site’s traffic logs to the exact time the comment was posted and tracking down the associated IP address and then typing it into a reverse IP address lookup service and you’re lucky that day, so get the person’s home address and then off you go to Google maps where you type in the address that you dredged out of the internet like the creepy sociopath you are and what’s this? Street view? Of course! And guess what? That fucker lives in a shed. Fuck yeah. ~ Allie