I seem to have disturbed some kind of Indian graveyard

No Sunday wrap-up today.  I have an acute kidney infection and Victor is still out of town so I’m letting Hailey be in charge of the house until he gets back.  Nothing’s on fire yet and she made me lunch of tootsie-roll stew.  Which is just tootsie rolls in a bowl of frosted flakes.  She’s trying, y’all.

I’ll be back soon.

108 thoughts on “I seem to have disturbed some kind of Indian graveyard

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  1. Bless you…I’ve had kidney infections before and they suck. Hurt worse than childbirth. Hang in there.

  2. Feel better soon!!!! And, I have to admit, Tootsie-Roll stew sounds epicuriously awesome. Perhaps a Haileys Recipe each week???

  3. Oh your poor thing. I’ve never had a kidney infection, but have heard horror stories. Hang in there and feel better soon.

  4. This past month or so has REALLY been sucky to you! Hope you feel better soon. I’m sure that tootsie roll stew will go a long way in curing you.

  5. Try oatmeal or Cream of Wheat for your stew base, next time. The heat weakens the sugar bond in the Tootsie Rolls. Softer chewing for the sick Bloggess.

  6. Sorry you’re feeling so miserable. 🙁 But that stew Hailey made for you rocks! What a great kid!

    Hope you’re feeling better soon.

  7. AWWW! feel better, Jenny! Maybe u should let Hailey write your blog from now on!

  8. I have it on very good authority that Tootsie Rolls are one of the major food groups.

    A new reader, wishing you a speedy recovery.

  9. It does sortve sound like maybe you need someone to come and do some sort of cleansing of your house (I don’t mean housekeeping, either… I mean like a spiritual cleansing).

    Feel better soon.

  10. You poor thing! Maybe you could cleanse the house with sage smudge sticks or something like that. (I need to do some research to see if there’s some anti-Indian burial ground/anti-elf magical stuff you can do.) Take care of yourself.

  11. Definitely an Indian Graveyard situation you’ve got yourself there. I think the tootsie roll stew should do the trick 🙂
    I wish I was as awesome as your daughter when I was 5.

  12. I’ve been dealing with a kidney infection, too. How does an organ that small cause so much misery? I want Hailey’s recipe and I think Victor should never leave town again.

  13. Does Hailey cater? I’d prefer an adult drive her over to my place (citing traffic laws and what-not), but Tootsie Roll Stew sounds like the perfect centerpiece of my next potluck.

  14. My kid is only 8 weeks old and I am dreading the first time I get sick. No more hiding in bed all day…although once he is older it will be awesome to have my own travel sized personal butler.

  15. tootsie rolls and frosted flakes sounds so good to me, but that is because of that low carb thing and any sugar, no matter how it is combined or served sounds good.

  16. Is it just one kidney? Because if so, just chop that sucker out. That’s why there’s an extra. (Seriously. I’m a med student. I know these things. Kinda. You may want to talk to a real doctor first. You know. Just in case.)

  17. Do you put the Tootsie Rolls in the bowl first, then add the flakes? Or do you put the flakes in first, then add the Tootsie Rolls? I don’t want to eff this up.

  18. I wonder if the Flying Spaghetti Monster is trying to send you a message: “Move back to Pearland… Move back to Pearland…

    Or, maybe he just wanted you to try Tootsie Roll Stew.


  19. Jesus lady, who did you rape and kill in a former life? You’re having the worst month ever. Click your heels three times and think happy thoughts. Also maybe look into a laundromat that handles karma. Happy thoughts…

  20. Awww! I’m sorry!! You have terrible luck. I totally agree- you must live above an Indian burial ground. Here’s what we need: a shaman, three four leaf clovers, a priest, a rabbi (for the joke!), twelve white candles, a stake, a steak, red wine (because we need fortification and red’ll go with the steak), and holy water. Start prepping, I’ll be right there!!

  21. I let a kidney infection go to long last year, and when I finally went to the doctor, the medicine they gave me made me nuts. Several of my friends follow your blog, and we’ve all been talking about what terrible luck you’ve had this week! 🙁 Hope next week is better. Thanks for writing, we live for your updates. You are very talented, funny, smart, and beautiful. And your kid is hilarious.

  22. Holy crap. This is exactly what my husband said to me this weekend.

    “Did we disturb some kind of Indian burial ground?”

    I went to urgent care on Thursday for what I thought was just a UTI – nope, kidney infection. Then, one of our brakes started smoking Friday on our way to a rehearsal for a wedding. AAA had recorded that we cancelled our membership, not renewed, so that was awesome. Then, I woke up Saturday (wedding day) with pink eye.

    Oh – and after my parents rescued us and took our kids back to their house, lending us one of their cars to get to the rehearsal – their other vehicle started making a sound and had to be fixed Saturday morning.

    Then, last night, I realized I was getting a cold sore.

    Sexiest bridesmaid ever.

  23. where are all the good things that happen to you? the fun and hilarious and GOOD things.
    loss of dog, kidney problems and hubby being gone… not good things.

  24. Ouch. Feel better soon – and don’t forget to throw some milk in the tootsie roll stew. You’ll need some protein.

  25. Hope you are feeling better soon. Let me know if any dead Native Americans appear to you in your dreams. I may know somebody for that. Or if you want a Tarot card reading. Or your astrology chart done. All kinds of woo-woo can be done for you by your loyal fan, The Fokker.

  26. OMG, you can’t make that stuff up! You’ve had more than your share of woes lady. Get well soon and think happy pink and blue thoughts. Kudos to Hailey for taking care of you while you’re recuperating.

  27. Seriously, Victor owes you a mother-f’n mega vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!! (although tootsie rolls are quite yummy)

  28. oh good. I’m not the only one suffering from and blogging about a kidney infection. What the hell did we do to deserve this?

  29. oh good. I’m not the only one suffering from and blogging about a kidney infection. What the hell did we do to deserve this?

  30. I hope you get better soon, but can you clarify because I’m a little confused, although admittidly it doesn’t take much… I thought you guys bought a plot of land and were going to build and this place was just somewhere to live whilst overseeing the building is that true or did I totally dream that up or confuse your blog with someone elses??? You seem to be plannning a lot of work to the house considering.

    Also didn’t you move to be closer to your family? in which case were the hell are they?

  31. Kidney infections really suck! I hope you feel better soon…

    On another note: Tootsie-rolls and frosted flakes! 🙂 YAY! At least you can take care of breakfast and dessert in one sitting! Kids are the best, right? 🙂

  32. Kidney infection?

    Jenny, did you again have sex with a zombie. . . .?!???!!!

    The surest and quickest way to a kidney infection.
    Everyone knows that.

    Zombies’ urethras shrink from cerebellar imbalance and stumbled gait.
    They always have bladder and kidney infections.

  33. Feel better, Jenny! I have all my limbs crossed for your kidneys and remember, I totally have a spare one for you if you need it.


  34. Hi Jenny,
    Please get well soon. My sister, JulieJulie said that you were had sent a message on Twitter about this and I have been praying for you. Take care. I am sure that tootsie roll stew is the best remedy for your kidney infection. Take care.

  35. Feel better.

    I hope your title isn’t true. I’ve seen Poltergeist. That’s why I always check under the bed from the floor. I don’t want any scary clown popping up behind me while I’m sitting on my bed. Because that’s what happens when you disturb an Indian graveyard.

  36. I hope you just got all the next five years’ crappiness out of they way these past couple weeks. :>P

    I also hope this makes you smile:

    Feel better soon.

  37. Sorry to hear you’re under the weather kiddo. Feel better soon and don’t OD on the Tootsie stew. Remember to brush. You don’t want wind up with good kidneys and no teeth.

  38. Dear Jenny, although this relates zero % to your post (I hope you feel better 🙁 ), I swear I ran into you a weekish ago. At a Vietnamese restaurant. I kind of stared because I was trying to decipher whether it was you or not- needless to say, it was creepy of me. I felt I should own up.

    Feel better!!

  39. So, do we need to set up a Bloggess-sitting service for when Victor goes out of town?

    I have been trying to get my person to buy me an adult from the Adult Superstore on I-65 – perhaps you can go that route? I dunno, ’cause he won’t let me go, but I am thinking that if you don’t like your adult you can return them with a receipt, which, if you think about it, is kind of the sweetest deal ever. My teenage self is rabidly jealous of the knowledge I now possess.

  40. Victor needs to get his ass home and never leave you alone again. This is too fucking much. And since the common denominator in all of it is that it happened while Victor was gone, clearly it’s all his fault…

  41. You definitely have some bad mojo going on there, lady. Don’t you watch any horror movies? Get those crosses up on those walls, STAT!

    “I do believe in spooks! I do, I do, I do! I do believe in spooks! I do, I do, I do, I do…!!”

    Feel better now! Children are wonderful little mommy-helpers when they need to be. They’re amazing at what they can do for us when when we feel sick. You’re very fortunate to have such a caring daughter. She’ll make a wonderful mother some day herself cuz she’s learning from the best!

  42. Jenny, if you really *have* disturbed an Indian graveyard, be careful Hailey doesn’t stand too close to the television set. And starts saying “They’re he-re.”

  43. I’m writing now (as opposed to the last year of opportunities) because I really feel like you are on the edge here. Seriously. Your life is generally a mess but. . .my God woman. You earned a bubble bath and a trip to the sex toy shop/ grocery store after 3 shots of tequila (cab drive assumed.)

  44. Victor better be bring you one hell of an I’m sorry card. This is *CLEARLY* all his fault. He’s not to leave town again until you have a priest on speed dial and an antibiotic iv drip all set up. What a friggin asshole.

  45. You need to move OUT of that house… NOW. Even if Victor isn’t home yet… leave him a note on the door. Once your far enough away call Tangina Barrons… she specializes in these matters.

  46. Seriously, how the hell long has he been gone now, like, a fucking year? Hell, I’d have Tootsie Roll stew, Hailey rocks.

  47. I currently am suffering from a raging yeast infection. At least you could sell your offending kidney on eBay, I can’t really do that with my vagina.

    OR CAN I?

  48. tootsie rolls make everything better. Well, I don’t know if they’ll reconstitute ashes into a dog, but zombie pets… probably not child-friendly.

  49. Get well soon. 🙂
    Speaking of Tootsie Roll Stew… I use the multi-flavored Tootsies with plain corn flakes most of the time. The chocolate Tootsies are great with Frosted Flakes as a special dessert stew. Ahhh…memories of Christmas, everyone gathered ’round waiting for the special dessert stew.

  50. Forget get well cards. The man needs to bring you diamonds after all this. DIAMONDS, I say!

  51. Good Grief! Get well soon, and at least Hailey is rising the the challenge! She’s clearly learned her chefly skills at the feet of the master. This reminds me of that sandwich you whipped together at blogher.

  52. Kidney infections suck! Just want to put that out there. Nothing says love like chocolate. I am very intrigued by tootsie rolls and cereal. Very intrigued .

  53. When I had the flu when my oldest child was 5……..they let me starve………..thank your lucky stars for tootsie roll stew.

  54. Kidney infections are absolutely terrible! I get them about once a year and it’s just fabulous. Feel better soon!

  55. Oh my goodness. I didn’t know until now. I am so sorry! I hope you are getting better. Is it in one or both kidneys? You do have two kidneys right? Just asking since odd things seem to have a way to happen to you… You sure you have all the same organs that we have right? Again. Just checking. Not that there’s anything wrong with it (= not having the same organs as us) I mean I am not an organist or something. Anyway, I should stop rambling. I sound like a drunk. Oh my goodness I did not mean to mention drinking in front of you because that would have been like bragging about visiting Willy Wonka’s factory to a sugar addict who just found out they have diabetes. No no no. I have not been drinking for eh the entire week this week assuming the week starts on Monday. Long story short: I hope you get better soon!

  56. yeah, you need to move to colorado. you’ve had enough shit go down in texas. holy moly….

    roll with it. you’ll make it. well, unless the tootsie roll stew gets you.

  57. Oh no!! I just got back from the camping trip from hell, and I now feel even worse because I wasn’t here trying to make you feel better with my amazingly erudite humour. So sorry you were feeling like crap. Kidney infections suck the big one. I’ve had them. I know. I’ve actually had one WHILE CAMPING, which is where I was this past week…so, in a way, I’m better than you.

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