No Sunday wrap-up today. I have an acute kidney infection and Victor is still out of town so I’m letting Hailey be in charge of the house until he gets back. Nothing’s on fire yet and she made me lunch of tootsie-roll stew. Which is just tootsie rolls in a bowl of frosted flakes. She’s trying, y’all.
I’ll be back soon.
108 thoughts on “I seem to have disturbed some kind of Indian graveyard”
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you should so let her write your weekly wrap up!
i can’t believe how much crap has gone down while Victor’s been gone…
Bless you…I’ve had kidney infections before and they suck. Hurt worse than childbirth. Hang in there.
Oh, gosh. Be well!
Tootsie-Roll stew sounds just like what the doctor ordered. Feel better soon!
Completely. Unbelievable. Shitstorm. You deserve a survivor award. I’ll work on crafting one for you.
I LOVE Tootsie Rolls! I’ll be over soon!
P.S. Feel better!
Feel better soon!!!! And, I have to admit, Tootsie-Roll stew sounds epicuriously awesome. Perhaps a Haileys Recipe each week???
Haven’t you heard that tootsie-roll stew is the cure?
Eh, maybe not.
I hope you feel better soon, I need my weekly dose of y’all!
Oh your poor thing. I’ve never had a kidney infection, but have heard horror stories. Hang in there and feel better soon.
You deserve a medal for even checking it to let us know what’s going on.
This past month or so has REALLY been sucky to you! Hope you feel better soon. I’m sure that tootsie roll stew will go a long way in curing you.
Feel better soon Jenny!
Try oatmeal or Cream of Wheat for your stew base, next time. The heat weakens the sugar bond in the Tootsie Rolls. Softer chewing for the sick Bloggess.
I think you need to notify Victor that further extended absences may result in your acquisition of an auxiliary husband.
Sorry you’re feeling so miserable. 🙁 But that stew Hailey made for you rocks! What a great kid!
Hope you’re feeling better soon.
You should probably just be happy it’s not an obtuse kidney infection.
AWWW! feel better, Jenny! Maybe u should let Hailey write your blog from now on!
Does having a kidney infection mean you now have to ingest in your wine via suppository?
Tootsie Roll Stew? Serve me up some! Fudge and frosted flakes, is heaven in a bowl.
I have it on very good authority that Tootsie Rolls are one of the major food groups.
A new reader, wishing you a speedy recovery.
Oh, and feel better soon. The tootsie rolls distracted me.
Eeegads. I hear cranberry juice helps (especially if you mix it with orange flavored vodka).
It does sortve sound like maybe you need someone to come and do some sort of cleansing of your house (I don’t mean housekeeping, either… I mean like a spiritual cleansing).
Feel better soon.
You poor thing! Maybe you could cleanse the house with sage smudge sticks or something like that. (I need to do some research to see if there’s some anti-Indian burial ground/anti-elf magical stuff you can do.) Take care of yourself.
Definitely an Indian Graveyard situation you’ve got yourself there. I think the tootsie roll stew should do the trick 🙂
I wish I was as awesome as your daughter when I was 5.
I’ve been dealing with a kidney infection, too. How does an organ that small cause so much misery? I want Hailey’s recipe and I think Victor should never leave town again.
Does Hailey cater? I’d prefer an adult drive her over to my place (citing traffic laws and what-not), but Tootsie Roll Stew sounds like the perfect centerpiece of my next potluck.
oh dude that sucketh! feel better.
My kid is only 8 weeks old and I am dreading the first time I get sick. No more hiding in bed all day…although once he is older it will be awesome to have my own travel sized personal butler.
tootsie rolls and frosted flakes sounds so good to me, but that is because of that low carb thing and any sugar, no matter how it is combined or served sounds good.
Is it just one kidney? Because if so, just chop that sucker out. That’s why there’s an extra. (Seriously. I’m a med student. I know these things. Kinda. You may want to talk to a real doctor first. You know. Just in case.)
Do you put the Tootsie Rolls in the bowl first, then add the flakes? Or do you put the flakes in first, then add the Tootsie Rolls? I don’t want to eff this up.
I would comment on this but I’m gonna go find some Tootise Rolls.
I wonder if the Flying Spaghetti Monster is trying to send you a message: “Move back to Pearland… Move back to Pearland…”
Or, maybe he just wanted you to try Tootsie Roll Stew.
Oh no! Hope you feel better. I’ve heard that tequila can help with a kidney infection… or maybe not.
Jesus lady, who did you rape and kill in a former life? You’re having the worst month ever. Click your heels three times and think happy thoughts. Also maybe look into a laundromat that handles karma. Happy thoughts…
Awww! I’m sorry!! You have terrible luck. I totally agree- you must live above an Indian burial ground. Here’s what we need: a shaman, three four leaf clovers, a priest, a rabbi (for the joke!), twelve white candles, a stake, a steak, red wine (because we need fortification and red’ll go with the steak), and holy water. Start prepping, I’ll be right there!!
I let a kidney infection go to long last year, and when I finally went to the doctor, the medicine they gave me made me nuts. Several of my friends follow your blog, and we’ve all been talking about what terrible luck you’ve had this week! 🙁 Hope next week is better. Thanks for writing, we live for your updates. You are very talented, funny, smart, and beautiful. And your kid is hilarious.
Holy crap. This is exactly what my husband said to me this weekend.
“Did we disturb some kind of Indian burial ground?”
I went to urgent care on Thursday for what I thought was just a UTI – nope, kidney infection. Then, one of our brakes started smoking Friday on our way to a rehearsal for a wedding. AAA had recorded that we cancelled our membership, not renewed, so that was awesome. Then, I woke up Saturday (wedding day) with pink eye.
Oh – and after my parents rescued us and took our kids back to their house, lending us one of their cars to get to the rehearsal – their other vehicle started making a sound and had to be fixed Saturday morning.
Then, last night, I realized I was getting a cold sore.
Sexiest bridesmaid ever.
So sorry. Hope you’re better soon! (I do think @msdarkstar may be right – a little smudging with sage might be good for the new home).
Well, seems like there isn’t much effort.
she’s trying.seriously, she can put a little more effort, right?lol
Guest blog by Hailey!! I have a hunch she’d be just as entertaining as her mother.
For the record, Victor is NEVER allowed to go away again!!
where are all the good things that happen to you? the fun and hilarious and GOOD things.
loss of dog, kidney problems and hubby being gone… not good things.
feel better and shout at the devil.
At least you have a cute kidney. Both of mine are damn ugly!
Ouch. Feel better soon – and don’t forget to throw some milk in the tootsie roll stew. You’ll need some protein.
Aw, sweetie, I’m sorry you’re sick without a grown-up around to take care of you. 🙁
Hope you are feeling better soon. Let me know if any dead Native Americans appear to you in your dreams. I may know somebody for that. Or if you want a Tarot card reading. Or your astrology chart done. All kinds of woo-woo can be done for you by your loyal fan, The Fokker.
Hailey is such a sweetie for trying to take such good care of you.
OMG, you can’t make that stuff up! You’ve had more than your share of woes lady. Get well soon and think happy pink and blue thoughts. Kudos to Hailey for taking care of you while you’re recuperating.
Seriously, Victor owes you a mother-f’n mega vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!! (although tootsie rolls are quite yummy)
oh good. I’m not the only one suffering from and blogging about a kidney infection. What the hell did we do to deserve this?
oh good. I’m not the only one suffering from and blogging about a kidney infection. What the hell did we do to deserve this?
She’s only five, and already Hailey cooks better than I do. I give up.
I hope you feel better soon. xoxo
Feel better soon Jenny!
Earth needs you!
I hope you get better soon, but can you clarify because I’m a little confused, although admittidly it doesn’t take much… I thought you guys bought a plot of land and were going to build and this place was just somewhere to live whilst overseeing the building is that true or did I totally dream that up or confuse your blog with someone elses??? You seem to be plannning a lot of work to the house considering.
Also didn’t you move to be closer to your family? in which case were the hell are they?
Kidney infections really suck! I hope you feel better soon…
On another note: Tootsie-rolls and frosted flakes! 🙂 YAY! At least you can take care of breakfast and dessert in one sitting! Kids are the best, right? 🙂
Hailey will hold it down. I’m pretty sure my 13-month-old could take care of me better than I take care of her…
I’d eat that.
Jenny, did you again have sex with a zombie. . . .?!???!!!
The surest and quickest way to a kidney infection.
Everyone knows that.
Zombies’ urethras shrink from cerebellar imbalance and stumbled gait.
They always have bladder and kidney infections.
Feel better, Jenny! I have all my limbs crossed for your kidneys and remember, I totally have a spare one for you if you need it.
Oh, I hope you feel better soon. It sounds like you have a great nurse!
Please get well soon. My sister, JulieJulie said that you were had sent a message on Twitter about this and I have been praying for you. Take care. I am sure that tootsie roll stew is the best remedy for your kidney infection. Take care.
I hope your title isn’t true. I’ve seen Poltergeist. That’s why I always check under the bed from the floor. I don’t want any scary clown popping up behind me while I’m sitting on my bed. Because that’s what happens when you disturb an Indian graveyard.
Tootsie Roll stew??? Dood see if you can get her to cook everyday…
Get well soon! Damn indians.
I hope you just got all the next five years’ crappiness out of they way these past couple weeks. :>P
I also hope this makes you smile:
Feel better soon.
Please get better soon. The interwebs miss you.
Sorry to hear you’re under the weather kiddo. Feel better soon and don’t OD on the Tootsie stew. Remember to brush. You don’t want wind up with good kidneys and no teeth.
Dear Jenny, although this relates zero % to your post (I hope you feel better 🙁 ), I swear I ran into you a weekish ago. At a Vietnamese restaurant. I kind of stared because I was trying to decipher whether it was you or not- needless to say, it was creepy of me. I felt I should own up.
Feel better Jenny.
So, do we need to set up a Bloggess-sitting service for when Victor goes out of town?
I have been trying to get my person to buy me an adult from the Adult Superstore on I-65 – perhaps you can go that route? I dunno, ’cause he won’t let me go, but I am thinking that if you don’t like your adult you can return them with a receipt, which, if you think about it, is kind of the sweetest deal ever. My teenage self is rabidly jealous of the knowledge I now possess.
feel better, jenny!
I’m totally down with the Tootsie Roll stew.
Victor needs to get his ass home and never leave you alone again. This is too fucking much. And since the common denominator in all of it is that it happened while Victor was gone, clearly it’s all his fault…
You definitely have some bad mojo going on there, lady. Don’t you watch any horror movies? Get those crosses up on those walls, STAT!
“I do believe in spooks! I do, I do, I do! I do believe in spooks! I do, I do, I do, I do…!!”
Feel better now! Children are wonderful little mommy-helpers when they need to be. They’re amazing at what they can do for us when when we feel sick. You’re very fortunate to have such a caring daughter. She’ll make a wonderful mother some day herself cuz she’s learning from the best!
Jenny, if you really *have* disturbed an Indian graveyard, be careful Hailey doesn’t stand too close to the television set. And starts saying “They’re he-re.”
I’m writing now (as opposed to the last year of opportunities) because I really feel like you are on the edge here. Seriously. Your life is generally a mess but. . .my God woman. You earned a bubble bath and a trip to the sex toy shop/ grocery store after 3 shots of tequila (cab drive assumed.)
Victor better be bring you one hell of an I’m sorry card. This is *CLEARLY* all his fault. He’s not to leave town again until you have a priest on speed dial and an antibiotic iv drip all set up. What a friggin asshole.
You need to move OUT of that house… NOW. Even if Victor isn’t home yet… leave him a note on the door. Once your far enough away call Tangina Barrons… she specializes in these matters.
Victor should not be allowed to travel without leaving you a staff to support your lifestyle and keep you well. What an asshole.
Seriously, how the hell long has he been gone now, like, a fucking year? Hell, I’d have Tootsie Roll stew, Hailey rocks.
Geezus! Victor better be having an abso-fucking-lutely horrible time wherever he is. May he have have bed bugs in his hotel.
I currently am suffering from a raging yeast infection. At least you could sell your offending kidney on eBay, I can’t really do that with my vagina.
OR CAN I?
Feel better! Hugs and sugar kisses 🙂
Drink Penty of fluids ( no alchohol) .Get well soon.
tootsie rolls make everything better. Well, I don’t know if they’ll reconstitute ashes into a dog, but zombie pets… probably not child-friendly.
Thinking of you, and hoping that you feel much better soon.
You didn’t wake up in a bathtub of ice, did you?
Get well soon. 🙂
Speaking of Tootsie Roll Stew… I use the multi-flavored Tootsies with plain corn flakes most of the time. The chocolate Tootsies are great with Frosted Flakes as a special dessert stew. Ahhh…memories of Christmas, everyone gathered ’round waiting for the special dessert stew.
Forget get well cards. The man needs to bring you diamonds after all this. DIAMONDS, I say!
Good Grief! Get well soon, and at least Hailey is rising the the challenge! She’s clearly learned her chefly skills at the feet of the master. This reminds me of that sandwich you whipped together at blogher.
as long as you didn’t bury your cat or child in it you should be fine.
Kidney infections suck! Just want to put that out there. Nothing says love like chocolate. I am very intrigued by tootsie rolls and cereal. Very intrigued .
Hope the spirits calm down so you can feel better soon!
When I had the flu when my oldest child was 5……..they let me starve………..thank your lucky stars for tootsie roll stew.
Just a picture of the turd flake consume will do. Take care!!
Kidney infections are absolutely terrible! I get them about once a year and it’s just fabulous. Feel better soon!
I think someone ingenious enough to invent tootsie roll stew ought to run for president.
That is all.
Oh my goodness. I didn’t know until now. I am so sorry! I hope you are getting better. Is it in one or both kidneys? You do have two kidneys right? Just asking since odd things seem to have a way to happen to you… You sure you have all the same organs that we have right? Again. Just checking. Not that there’s anything wrong with it (= not having the same organs as us) I mean I am not an organist or something. Anyway, I should stop rambling. I sound like a drunk. Oh my goodness I did not mean to mention drinking in front of you because that would have been like bragging about visiting Willy Wonka’s factory to a sugar addict who just found out they have diabetes. No no no. I have not been drinking for eh the entire week this week assuming the week starts on Monday. Long story short: I hope you get better soon!
yeah, you need to move to colorado. you’ve had enough shit go down in texas. holy moly….
roll with it. you’ll make it. well, unless the tootsie roll stew gets you.
If she managed to get chocolate in her tootsie roll stew you’d have all the major food groups covered. But, I understand. She’s young yet.
I’m sure this was written with you in mind.
If you get admitted to the hospital please send Halley to me, I want tootsie roll stew.
Oh no!! I just got back from the camping trip from hell, and I now feel even worse because I wasn’t here trying to make you feel better with my amazingly erudite humour. So sorry you were feeling like crap. Kidney infections suck the big one. I’ve had them. I know. I’ve actually had one WHILE CAMPING, which is where I was this past week…so, in a way, I’m better than you.