November 2010 – The Bloggess

UPDATED: That last one was a bluff so it’s probably good that they passed. I can’t even keep a dog alive, much less a sasquatch.

Paraphrased email between me and a marketer. The sad thing is that this is only slightly paraphrased: Them: We would like to buy a text ad on your blog. me: Ok. It’s $75. Them: We will write a guest post on your blog with 4 embedded links to our product. We will give you $15.Continue reading “UPDATED: That last one was a bluff so it’s probably good that they passed. I can’t even keep a dog alive, much less a sasquatch.”

Google is trying to get me high.

Last week I had to write about heroin but I always spell it wrong so I looked up “heroine” (def: a female hero) and this is what Google gave me: Awesome. I’m switching to Yahoo. ***************** And in other news, I’m a day behind on my Shit-I-Did-This-Week post but I’m giving myself a pass becauseContinue reading “Google is trying to get me high.”

Oh. I just…oh.

True story. Netflix just suggested this movie to me as a “film you’ll love based on your viewing habits”: I don’t know whether to be proud or insulted.

Sad panda

I can only hope that I was outbid by Victor, who is planning an elaborate taxidermy-squirrel-themed birthday party for me.

Does Boone’s Fine Apple Wine count as produce? I say yes.

So this weekend I was in the liquor store buying produce and I noticed that on the top of the tequila isle there were these giant bottles of tequila shaped exactly like life-sized rifles. And I was all “OMG, I MUST HAVE ONE” and Victor was like “Um…no. I’m not buying you a rifle fullContinue reading “Does Boone’s Fine Apple Wine count as produce? I say yes.”

And then we were murdered in our sleep

Every night before I go to bed I write “And then we were murdered in our sleep” in my journal so that there’s always an ending even if the worst happens. Victor thinks it’s a sign I need to up my medication but I’m pretty sure it’s just a sign that I’m a really considerateContinue reading “And then we were murdered in our sleep”