Oh, Spellcheck. This is exactly why no one takes you seriously:
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Remember last week when Hailey graduated from kindergarten?
Last high school dance.
Yesterday I was telling my friends that I have to take Hailey to the Blossom Culp stadium for graduation practice and they looked at me weird bc apparently it’s the “Blossom stadium” and I’ve been saying it wrong for years and I just realized that Blossom Culp was the heroine of Richard Peck book series I loved when I was little and had forgotten existed until now.
When the roles are reversed and your child tells you to go to sleep and then records you for their TikTok.
ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:
I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:
And I’m sorry…shouldn’t it be “rumpled?”
No, spell check had it right. Rumple-Foreskin, he’s the new hero of the fairy tales now a days. Sort of like Rumpelstiltskin, but a *little* bit different. If you know what I mean.
wink wink…
I like the suggestion to “learn spelling”. As opposed to “ignore spelling”.
Is that in general?
I refuse to spell my own words.. so life be damned, I will live AND die by spellcheck.
Interesting, spellcheck is supposed to be SPELL CHECK. That’s just wrong. Maybe I am living a great big lie?
SD
http://www.TheSimpleDude.com
Rumple Foreskin. Is he kind of like the tooth fairy? Like, he’ll leave a dollar under your pillow after a visit to the mohel?
See, this is why I love coming here. Where else can I find a good debate on the correct way to write “rumple foreskin”?
Forget the $86.4 million, Jenny.
Take the rumpled foreskin. They’re worth extra when bargaining with witch doctors.
That would be an awesome name for a band.
The European version of Rumpelstiltskin – don’t knock it till you try it.
I suppose a lot of this discussion hinges on whether or not rumple foreskin is a compound modifier or not. Regardless, I really hope you get that $86.4 million.
I’m more interested in the message behind the spellcheck. “Send $86.4 million to my paypal address”. Jenny, are you the mafia??
Or it is just remembering what you usually write and it’s trying to tell you you are a bad bad girl. Oh Jenny, we’re on to you now!
I like how it says “Search in Google” as if Google should be a better spell checker
Rumple Foreskin is the gentile midget that helps you spin pubes into gold.
I would be more shocked if:
A. It wasn’t YOU it was “correcting”
B. The spell check box wasn’t strategically placed over the 2nd half of .. whatever it is you typed. What did you type?!?! Enquiring minds need to know!! “rumple ….” RUMPLE WHAT!?!?! What were you REALLY trying to say?!? WHAT WAS IIIIIIIITTT?!?!?!?
*deep breath*
Ok. I’m good.
Stupid spell check, rumpleforeskin is ONE word, not hyphenated!
Just ask anyone with a rumpleforeskin.
Oh the absurdity.
Spell check was obviously written by a Gentile.
What’s the $84 million for?
Is it a fairy tale character – or the wrinkled remains on the cutting room floor?
Circumcisers have always been suspicious looking.
Mostly, I’m with Tracey on this one…. Just really want to know what the rest of the sentence was. Yeah, I’m nosy like that.
Rumple foreskin sounds kinda painful, one less thing for me to worry about.
Back in the day, when I had a “real job,” I used to love the word ‘inconvenience,’ if mistyped, being replaced by the word ‘incontinence’ as suggested by Spell Check. First of all, spelling wise, it’s not even close. Secondly, what a difference to say “Sorry for any trouble this may have caused” versus “Sorry for causing you to lose control of your bowels.”
Rumple-Foreskin sounds like it should be a little lesson-teaching mascot for Jewish boys. Like Hanky the Christmas Poo, only Rumple-Foreskin is a boy’s foreskin that comes to life about ten years after circumcision (provided his parents keep in a jar somewhere, OBVIOUSLY). Rumple-Foreskin sings songs about Jewish tradition and teaches the importance of letting a stranger mutilate your genitals. He’s the most kosher mythological mentor ever!
@Lori, I think you mean wrinkled :p
Really? This may even go above and beyond iPhone’s auto correct malfunctions. I now have the desire to go write a children’s book that quietly advocates circumcision. Or maybe it should protest circumcision…did anyone consider that Rumple-Foreskin is a bad guy?
What kind of foreskin costs $86 million?
This was short, sweet with a side of hillarious. 🙂 Thanks
Rumple-Foreskin is such a dick…
I don’t like that it gives you two options. Which is it, spellcheck?
That’s a porno that’s just begging to be made. I mean…not that I know anything about porn, because I don’t. Ever. In my life. Porn.
Also, in 2007 there was a band: http://www.myspace.com/rumpleforeskinband
What’s “learn spelling” do?
Thank goodness for urban dictionary because now I know what rumple foreskins are. (Remember that joke about the guy with “Wendy” tattooed on his penis? When erect, it read, “Welcome to Washington, D.C.! Have a nice day!”) I looked up “hyphen” there, too, just to be sure I wasn’t assuming Google’s intention in adding it. You know how Google likes to sneak profound thoughts into our lives. Anyway, I’m glad I did that because it adds a new level of meaning to a flaccid uncircumsized penis with a type of dance which involves a juking or grinding move while holding your hand up high and the other hand smacking the buttocks.
I always knew that Google was kinky.
Do you think Nancy W. Kappes, paralegal, uses her afterlife powers to fuck with your spell check, just so you know she’s still around?
Spell Check AND Auto Correct….making me look like an idiot on a Daily Basis….
It could be that blasted ENTER button, too…..
Mostly I blame Rice Pudding…for everything….STILL, for no real reason
I think I went to his Bris …
Rumple-foreskin . . . isn’t that the married couple we avoid at Open House?
If I had $86.4 million, I’d happily send it to you, even though I don’t know what rumple foreskin is. What’s your paypal address?
what were you originally trying to spell?
Word suggested that Lakia (a woman i worked with) was really labia. I’m very glad that I caught it
Fuck the foreskin, rumpled or not. Bahaha! *I actually just threw up in my mouth a little.*
$86.4 million huh? Clearly this stay at home mom gig is the wrong “profession”.
I NEED the gentile midget that will spin the pubes into gold! I never learned that fairy tale growing up. Damn parents…..
Geez, you’d think spell check would grow up already
For realz. 🙂
I’m very interested in the rest of this email. It sounds like you are writing to the same millionaire prince who keeps sending me letters, and his meddling lackey who thinks my penis isn’t big enough. Given its nonexistence, he’s probably right, but it’s still a sensitive issue for me. Maybe if it were bigger, I’d have my money by now? I think you may be on to something, will you let me know if it works?
What were you trying to spell??
I’m actually more curious as to what you’re writing in that email back there…
See? Computers are mocking us, right now.
What did spellcheck make of Angry Thor’s Hammer?
Regards,
Your Friendly Neighborhood Stalker.
Oh goodie! Now I have new nicknames for my uncircumcised brothers to whip out (pun intended) at the next family gathering.
spell check and auto correct, I believe they are just someones big idea to make us depending on looking like we can spell, but now they are making it so we look really stupid, without us noticing.. Its all a big computer conspericy… See see what I mean?! They know we know!!!!
or
I have just come to rely on computers more then I would like to admit..
eh either way, this is the stuff that makes my day!
LOL Then again…maybe spell check really knows you well. 😉
Rumple-foreskin? Ouch. That can’t end well….
I just discovered by way of a VERY embarrassing text that when you type just the letter ‘A’ my predictive text defaults not to just the word “a” but to ‘asshole.’ That’s a good way to get a guy to ask you out. “Where should we go for dinner, I was thinking asshole Italian place might be nice…”
He was less than impressed. Maybe his foreskin was rumpled.
Don’t hold your breath for the $$ kiddo. They’ve owed me a paltry $6.42M for 4 years now and I’ve yet to see one thin dime.
Next they might offer you a stuffed one, on a plaque, for your office wall. 🙂
I have a follower on Twitter named Rumpleforeskin… oh wait, nevermind. It’s Rimpelskinslut. I have nothing to add to this after all.
So who is going to be the one to post a cartoon on their blog of the character Rumple Foreskin? i think it goes something like…the king ordered the young maiden to craft him golden condoms and each night Rumple Foreskin came and made them for her because she could not. The first night he took, in return for his hard work, she gave him her bra, the second her panties, and the third night she had nothing else to give him from beneath her sleeping gown. he asked in return that, when the time came, she would give her his virginity. the king, enamored with the maiden, married her and soon the girl was with child and bore a little boy with a rumpled foreskin. The king, looking down at his own wavy foreskin, realized that there was no way this could be his child and he hunted down Rumple Foreskin, because who other than he had a rumpled foreskin? Entering the cave where Rumple lived, he saw his own wife’s bra and panties strewn about the earthen floor. Red with fury, he stormed back to punish his queen. She sat at her throne and when he spat that she had lied to him, she calmly replied: you were so taken with the golden condoms that you never took them off, so what was I to do but provide you with a child by any means that I could? The king unsheathed his sword and held it skyward, his eyes bloodshot and glaring, the queen held her breath, eyes squeezed shut. With a hard shriek, he brought the sword down with a vengeance…into his own heart. Rumple Foreskin, came out of the shadows, took the hand of the maiden and together, with baby Rumple, they vanished into the night.
I don’t think you can blame spell check for this one. I fault all of those people that have mixed up Rumplestilskin with rumpleforeskin and then SAVED it like it was a correct spelling until spell check finally said fuck it, it must be right. This is why robots cannot take over the world, people.
Rumpled foreskin- that is what happens when you forget to hang yourself out to dry.
I’m really hoping that you post that e-mail that you were writing – I’m curious as to who you were asking for $86 million and threatening with lawyers??! Please share.
Is this the politically correct way to say someone isn’t circumcised? Like how we call midgets “little people” now? Rumpled foreskin rolls off the lips; it’s the way to apply PC gloss to the uncut men of this world.
my biggest beef here is with the hyphen. Why would you want a hyphened rumple foreskin….??
I wish I could see the rest of this email.
Might that be the new name for you etsy store?
–>Now, will you Please kindly send ME 86.4 million dollars?
Dammit Jenny! What were you writing?!? No matter how hard I try to peek around that box I still cant get the rest of it.
Tellllll meeeeeeee! Pllleeeeaaaaaaasssseeeeee!!!!!!!
Was there a Rumple-Bris as well?
Gah. I hate to think of what’s coming out of THAT guy’s spinning wheel.
Ah yes, Rumpleforeskin. If you can guess the name of his VD he will return your virginity.
PS – If you string together all of your comments “Last posts” you have a hell of a story.
Nothing to see here. Move along.
Hahah Learn Spelling was funny! Ive got a bunch of funny things on my site aswell so click my nickname and check it out.
Just out of curiosity…how many of you have been to: http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/ ? It really is a hilarious site. 😉
Better than “cheesy-coated foreskin”… right?
RIGHT?
RIGHT?!??!?!?!??!!
Okay, just checking.
You’re a Mac user! Somehow I knew that already.
No milk out the nose THIS time.
Not gonna lie, this made me take a look at my penis to determine whether or not my foreskin was indeed rumpled. Then I remembered that my foreskin was snipped 30 years ago.
Too soon? Should we have had a drink first?
Rumple-foreskin (yes, the hyphenated spelling is the correct one) is the young lad who led/kidnapped all the village’s children by playing the skin flute. Wait…that was the Pied Papsmear. My bad…
Just curious, what do you lawyers think when you call them concerning Rumple Foreskin and other mythical dicks?
~EdT.
Well don’t keep us in suspense. What did your lawyer have to say?
God, I hope they make a topical cream for that.
Has it slept a long time?
I used to have one of those, but I found this little Jewish elf creature who turned it into gold.
Jenny, don’t have them send all of that money to your PayPal account. Do you have any idea how much of that you’ll have to give up in taxes?! I don’t either, except that it’s a lot.
Well, well, well look who has dipped their toe into my marketplace… Well, The Bloggess, if that is your real name. I accept your challenge and will lower my prices on photos of my rumpled testicles to a mere $2. I hope you understand the training and preparation in rumpled testicle photography requires.
Oh, rats and cannonballs, will you look at that? This whole post was about a spellcheck faux pas, not any sort of testicle photography. I am embarrassed yet again at another false alarm over testicle photography. Well, I’ll just backspace over all that part and hit submit. There we go…
Shouldn’t it be ‘rumpled foreskin’ without the hyphen? I heard hyphens were out. Well, that’s what tje copy writer said. Maybe he meant hymens.
Mine kept wanting to change dreidel to dreaded.
That is insane/awesome/terrifying. Not to mention, I don’t even think that would need to be hyphenated. Double fail, Spellcheck.
At least it didn’t suggest rumplemintz.
Why would the Spellcheck just assume the foreskin is rumpled? How about the clean-lined, smooth, circumcised kind? I smell a bit antisemitism going on if you ask me. Hipster Hitler is probably behind this…
In answer to your questions, the word I was trying to spell was actually rumpleforeskin. Which Spellcheck still says is not a real word. Here’s the full letter:
http://thebloggess.com/2010/09/an-open-letter-to-spammers/
Today I brew, tomorrow I bake;
And then the prepuce I will take;
For no one knows my little game
That Rumpleforeskin is my name!
Really not interested in finding out what a rumpled foreskin looks like in the Spotlight. What are these people thinking?
Is it very wrong that I am turned on right now?
Actually, I’m equally interested in your email regarding your $86.4 million dollar windfall that you’ll be getting through paypal. *SO* excited for you! I just won one million pounds. *Twice*.
I can only imagine how the tale of Rumpleforeskin differs. That’s going to make one hell of a porn for some aspiring young director. Just sayin’.
I am so happy for the link to the letter. I really was going to be tortured with the wondering why, why are we spelling that?
oh ok. i thought the 86.4 million had something to do with a botched circumcision.
Almost forgot…wanted to wish all of you, rumpled foreskins or not, a very happy Valentine’s Day. This puts a whole new spin on the day for me….and a mental image with which I am not 100% at ease….
But, when in doubt, simply–Carry on, motherfuckers!
Seriously … rumpled foreskin is so 70s porn!
It’s not all wrong, just a little overly descriptive. Have you ever seen neatly folded foreskin? No, it’s rumpled, ergo…
It’s right on the nose more than it gets credit for.
the latest version offers ‘did you intend’ and if you put in ‘ridiculous woman’ it offers ‘Palin’
Put in ‘psycotic sniper’ and it offers CUPID
Spell check is like the friend that constantly makes you second guess yourself, even when you know your right.
…this shit is seriously funny because I was thinking practically the same thing!
“I can only imagine how the tale of Rumpleforeskin differs. That’s going to make one hell of a porn for some aspiring young director. Just sayin’.”
Almost as annoying as iPod/Pad/Phone ‘s autocorrect. I try not to use spell check or autocorrect. Probably why no one reads my blog. I probably read like I had a stroke.
What does rumple mean? Isn’t that what the Hamburglar used to say? Or did he say, “rabble, rabble, rabble.” Rumple-foreskin could mean something hilarious…..pending on what rumple means.
Rumpleforeskin. Now there’s a fairytale that does not have a happy ending.
Best spellcheck error at work. Big Big Big report for client. Prepared in NY. Emailed to Puerto Rico. PR office runs spellcheck. Says yes to every replace option. Report was on biosolids (wastewater solids aka sludge). Report goes to client. Client calls meeting. At meeting a presentation board is put up with enlarged pages from report. On that page certain words/phrases were circled in RED with ???? next to them.
Why? Because spellcheck replaced Biosolids with Beastiality. Phrases that were to be “Managing your biosolids can be challenging…” became “Managing your beastiality can be challenging..” Instead of telling our clients how to solve a wastewater issue, we were in a whole other area of the “gutter”.
I would really like to see the rest of that nasty email you were drafting…
Well, I’m thoroughly enjoying no foreskin over here, so I don’t really care how they spell it….unless it becomes “ruffled foreskin”….then I might be interested.
Spell check strikes again!! That’s fantastic.
It’s when spell check doesn’t catch it that can be really funny. We had the maintenance guy at work send out an email to about 20 people apologizing for any incontinence that he may have caused!
Your post is funny, but I think some of the comments are funnier. Wait, I’m a first time commenter. That wasn’t very nice of me. I’m surprised no one brought up circumcision.
Foreskins are highly overrated, rumpled or not.
Rumple Foreskin was the worst fairy tale ever. Especially at the end when you have to say RUMPLE FORESKIN RUMPLE FORESKIN RUMPLE FORESKIN! at the end.
Why doesn’t comment love work for me
Now it is
No it isn’t. Ignore me. I’m obnoxious.
(You have your blog listed at bloodspot.com. Is that right? ~ Jenny)
Ugh, the pro-circ/genital mutilation movement wins again.
E Tu, spell check?
It’s like a porno. A porno I would never, ever watch. Gives a whole new meaning to Fractured Fairy Tale. Ay oh!
I’d rather be rumpleforeskin than rumplefourballs anyday.
I lose enough time just scratching two.
When I was in college, I used to joke that I’d start a band called Rumpleforeskin. That or Urethra Franklin.
Ah, youth.
What I’d like to know is, what was going on in that email you were typing? 86.4 million? lawyers? And why does stuff like that always happen to you??
It’s like some kind of fairy-tale porn star… Bleugh!
I should stop mentioning porn so much on the internet.
That’s the best porn fairytale name ever. 🙂
That should not be allowed. I love that it is.
Thanks for the laugh! I needed it :).
I randomly came across this entry and I almost laughed aloud in my class because a) it was funny and b) it reminded me about how my boyfriend calls Rumpelstiltskin from the show Once Upon a Time, Rumpled-Foreskin, which made it even funnier.