Conversation I just had with Victor:
Victor: What the hell are you doing?
me: I’m watching Scandinavian horror movies.
Victor: I see that. Don’t you have work to do?
me: Um…this is awkward. It’s National Mental Illness Week? I’m guessing this means you forgot to get me a card.
Victor: What the hell is wrong with you?
me: Um…I have mental illness. Remember? And this is National Mental Illness Week, so I’m taking the week off since it’s a recognized holiday. It’s like Rosh Hashana, but for crazy people.
Victor: Mental Illness Week is no holiday.
me: Well the other 51 weeks are no picnic either. And that’s why you have to really force yourself to celebrate the one week when people give you gifts and cards for being kinda fucked-up. Or, at least, they should. But then everyone forgets, and that’s depressing, and then you have to watch Scandinavian horror films to distract yourself from the lack of “YOU ARE THE BEST KIND OF FUCKED UP” cards in your mailbox.
Victor: Wow. It’s like this holiday was made for you.
me: IT IS MADE FOR ME. THAT’S WHAT MAKES IT SO AWESOME.
Victor: I was going to say “baffling.”
me: It’s both. Which is what makes it even more amazing. Even the holiday is bipolar.
Victor: I’m going to go hide in my office now.
me: Don’t stay in there too long. I got a pinata to hang from the ceiling fan.
Victor: Is it filled with prozac?
me: No. Because that would be illegal. Plus, we’d end up with drugs knocked under the couch and then all the cats would all from drug allergies and overdoses. Also, you can’t really make those jokes. Those are our jokes. It’s in our charter.
Then Victor left. Probably to buy me an apology cake.
PS. Happy Mental Illness Awareness Week from me. To celebrate, take the rest of the week off. Also, you can take a free, online screening here. I just did all of the tests and it told me I have depression and anxiety disorder. Which I do. It’s like a Magic 8 Ball that actually works.
PPS. They don’t actually make cards that say “Happy Mental Illness Awareness Week!” but they should. I just made one for my store, but you might not get it before the end of the week, so I’m putting it here if you want to print it out for free. Because awareness is half the battle. The other half of the battle is getting people to help you hang up pinatas for holidays that no one recognizes.