I can’t be the only one who fucks up lyrics this badly.

Conversation I had with Victor in the car:

me: You know that song that goes:  “Just like the wild wind blows, she sings a song that sounds like she’s singing“?

Victor: Edge of Seventeen.  But that’s not how that song goes.

me:  I figured, because it makes no sense.  Why would she be singing a song that “sounds like she’s singing”?  Either you’re singing or you’re not singing.  MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

Victor: No, that part’s right.  But “the wild wind blows” is actually “a white winged dove”.

me:  Ugh.  That’s the part that I’m wrong about?  What about “I went searching for an answer up the stairs and down the hall, and not to find the answer.”  You just said you were searching for an answer and then in the same sentence you contradict yourself.  It’s so confusing.  It’s like Nikki Sixx is trying to confuse me.

Victor:  Are you kidding me?  It’s not Nikki Sixx.  It’s Stevie Nicks.

me:  I always think they’re the same person.

Victor:  And that’s why you’re not allowed to talk about music anymore.


And since it’s (almost) Sunday it’s time for the weekly wrap-up:

By @onezumi: "The Bloggess Riding a Dapper Octopus with an Attack King Mini Yak Riding him Attacking an Evil Flying Cheeseburger While Holding Twine."

What you missed on the Houston Chronicle:

What you missed in my shop (tentatively called “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

What you missed on the internets:

This week on shit-I-didn’t-come-up-with-but-wish-I-did-because-it’s-kind-of-awesome:

This week’s wrap-up sponsored by my hilarious friend, Jill, better known as Scary Mommy.  Her blog is fabulous and she now has a great book coming out that’s an honest (and terrifying) look at parenting.  She and her book are better than ice cream.  Check them out.

297 thoughts on “I can’t be the only one who fucks up lyrics this badly.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. For years, I thought that Whitesnake song said “like a twister, I was born to walk alone” instead of “drifter”. It wasn’t until the hot guy working tor my dad one summer pointed it out to me when we were painting the barn. Stupid hot guys, anyway.

  2. That line will now irritate me for at least 24 hours. I can handle heavily metaphored lyrics, but lyrics that just don’t make sense irk the hell out of me.

  3. Our friend thought the Dio song “Rainbow in the Dark” was “Egg Yolk in the Park”

    Wait, that Whitesnake song is about drifters, not twisters? Huh.

  4. She sings a song, sounds like she’s singing: “Ooh Baby ooh, said ooh.” But REALLY she’s singing “Boo, gravy, boo, said boo.” It just SOUNDS like she’s singing the first one. That’s how I explain it to myself, anyway.

  5. That’s like my favorite Stevie Nicks song ever! I knew the words to that song at a very young age. She has always been one of my mothers favorite artists. Good try though! 🙂

  6. Good God…I love you!!! OMG…I too always thought it was “Just like the wild wind blows.”
    That is one of my favorite songs.
    I always love lyrical mis~interpretations….sometimes they are “hauntingly familiar.” LOL

  7. Up until last week, I thought the song “Hey Jealousy” was actually “Hair Jealousy”.

  8. I though “excuse me while I kiss the sky” was “excuse me while I kiss this guy”

    No I didn’t. But there’s a few songs I don’t really know the words to. I just totally fill in my own words.

    **this is why I don’t do karaoke. I would have to stop in the middle and go “THAT’s how the song goes?” well shit!

  9. Also? It’s Nikki Sixx. He’s not like the sixth Nikki or anything. But why the hell does white winged dove make any MORE sense than wild wind blows?

  10. My lyrical claim to fame: in junior high/ high school I was pretty sure Dave Matthews was singing “sweet chewbacca, sweet you roll”. Yep.

  11. You ain’t alone.

    I pee’d in my chair at work the other day when I read about how a mom walked in on her kid singing his ass off to Funky Town.

    You know where it goes “Talk about it, talk about it, talk about it, talk about it….”?

    Yeah, well…he was busting a groove and singing “Taco body, taco body, taco body, taco body.”

    I kid you not. Check the pee stains in my chair if you need proof.

    And here: http://www.thebeardediris.com/2012/02/20/welcome-to-funky-town-population-me/

  12. It could be much worse. You could have been singing “Party Like a Cockstar” and caused all kinds of drama. This is really nothing.

  13. Mine was Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody “the Devil has a sideboard” instead of “has a devil put aside for me”. Discovering years latter none of those people were smiling at me because they were impressed by my awesome musical talent was a tad disconcerting to say the least.

  14. I mess up lyrics ALL the time. But I don’t even replace the words as much as a I just transform it into weird noises. I can’t sing along in the car, Boyfriend makes fun of me too much.

  15. Had a friend in college who thought “Amadeus, Amadeus” was “Hot potatoes, hot potatoes.” And EVERYONE says, “There’s a bathroom on the right” for “There’s a bad moon on the rise.”
    Sometimes the made up lyrics are better though. Go on with your bad self!

  16. When Dude Looks Like a Lady first started playing on the radio I thought the lyrics were Do the Naked Lady. It just wasn’t the same song once I was corrected.

  17. for some reason, song lyrics stick in my head .. I can listen to a song a few times and know the lyrics…. this is why I have more music on my iPod than I could listen to in a lifetime.

    love checking out the stuff you pin!

  18. I’m so laughing, because I totally just googled the lyrics. Shame on me for doubting victor, but five minutes ago I’d have put serious money on your version.

    And I’ll continue to sing it that way. I’ve been doing it for so many years, my version is just as classic. That, and I’m too lazy to re-learn stuff.

  19. You are definitely not the only person who does this because there’s a word for that — misinterpreting song lyrics. It’s called a mondegreen. Seriously: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mondegreen So, you totally can’t be alone, because there’s a whole word just for that phenomenon. So there, Victor! It’s on Wikipedia, so you know it’s true 😉

  20. Yeah… my husband comes up with some really really creative lyrics.

    He’s so off that it is incredibly cute.

    TOTALLY UNRELATED – DO.NOT.SEE The Descendants the movie, unless you want to be depressed as fuck and bawling like a baby in the theatre. Christ. Worst Saturday date night EVER.

  21. You never mess up when you sign along. You simply freestyle that bitch. Besides, it’s not always our fault. Sometimes, it’s the SINGER who messed up. We’re simply correcting them. 😉

  22. Mine was Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap. For years I thought it was “Dirty me and the Dunder Chief”. And NO ONE called me on it. Made no sense to me either, but it was rock n roll, man. No one needs to make sense. They were all on drugs anyway, right?

    Also, those Dove shoes…I think they were made to go with Bjork’s swan dress. 🙂

  23. When I was a kid I thought it was “Secret ASIAN Man” instead of “Secret AGENT Man” and was very, very confused.

  24. Good post, but I’m really stuck on the dapper octopus picture. It’s just soooo awesome. So, very, very awesome. I wanna go around saying “dapper octopus” now- trying to figure out a way to incorporate it into conversation…

  25. You crack me up. This is totally a conversation I would have with my husband, only it would be about actors and movies/television. I love it.

  26. FOR FUCKING EVER I thought that song was “Just like a one-winged dove,” and I thought that the fact that the song’s dove with one wing could only fly in circles was some kind of metaphor. I was crushed when my husband finally corrected me.

  27. I have pretty much limited myself to the chorus’ of songs at this point…and even then, half the time, I am still not correct in my translation! I am glad my radio doesn’t show the lyrics, I would drive off the road trying to see the correct words.

  28. Eleanor!!! Mine was also “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”. Except I thought it was “Dirty Jeans Dun-gar-ees”. I use to dance around the house singing that line with visions of dirty wranglers floating through my head. I’m sure my parents started to wonder how I was going to not drown in the shower.

  29. Wow I had no idea it was “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap”. For years I’ve thought it was: “30 D’s Thunder Cheeks” . I thought it was like singing about big boobs and a big ass. lmao

    My dad is really bad at messing up lyrics though…and he sings them loud and proud regardless.

  30. See, I *knew* that it was the white winged dove. And then I read your version. And got it in my head that no, wild wind blows was correct, and what the hell was Victor on about, this guy is crazy.

    In summary: your blog makes me think that your logic is right, ALWAYS. No matter what.

  31. We are asparagus, in the material world. Are asparagus in the material world.

  32. I always thought that song was about a one-winged dove – it made the song seem much bleaker than it was probably intended to be.

  33. My finance and I can never get all the words to Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People. He kind of mocks the song by inserting myeh anywhere he doesn’t know the words.
    On an unrelated note, it’s ironic that you like the song with a white wing dove, but think the shoes are terrifying.

  34. Those bird shoes look absolutely terrifying. How could you go anywhere without one bird accidentally getting caught in the other and then falling flat on your face? Not to mention the part about having your feet underneath a pigeon’s arse in the first place…

    I’m also glad to see that even when you’re riding a moustache-d octopus and fighting off flying hamburgers you still manage to hold on to your twine. Now THAT’S keeping your priorities right.

  35. Oxforddictionaries.com published an article on misheard lyrics (called mondegreen, apparently – I’m not a native speaker of English so I’ve no idea if this is supposed to be a widespread word, but it should be because it sounds awesome); you might enjoy reading it. “Plywood heels and bohemian sausages” – who wouldn’t want to read that article, really?

  36. I totally thought those were the lyrics to that song…. I may need to go look it up now

  37. The best place to find misheard lyrics is http://kissthisguy.com

    And the best misheard lyric of all time: ‘Oh, Canada’ has the lyric “Oh, Canada, we stand on guard for thee…” but it was misheard as “Oh, Canada, we stand on cars and freeze…”

    Very funny, but strangely appropriate.

  38. LOVE THIS!

    Here is the one I got wrong for, oh, pretty much my entire life:

    “Leave the rent co-llect! Leave the rent co-llect! baby, you’re much too fast………”

    Yep, that was Prince’s “Little Red Corvette” which I never bought because (duh) never got the basic NAME of the song right. I think The Husband corrected me on this one day, the same day he shook his head and said, “Wow, and to think I married this woman.” Which just goes to prove I must have *some* redeeming qualities……………..


  39. Don’t sweat in Jerry. When I have problems like this I just turn on the radio like Tim Cruise did in Jenny Maguire, you know the scene right after he goes to Klutches house and signs him up to be his agent? Anyway, he jumps in the car and hits the radio button a couple of times before he finds Tom Perry’s “Free Ballin'”

    Just sing along… Cause I’m free! Freeeeeeeee Ballllllin’!
    It always makes me feel better.

  40. “Seduce me tonight” became “Fruit Juicy Tonight” when my kid sang it.

  41. I have to say that when I realize that I’ve been singing all the wrong lyrics I’m usually by myself, thank goodness! It doesn’t change how stupid I feel or how ridiculous the real lyrics sound, but no one else knows about it. 🙂

  42. The Killing Moon by Echo and the Bunnymen:

    The line is “Fate, up against your will.”
    I heard “Fate, of the gangster whale.”

  43. I get teased about getting lyrics wrong all the time, but then I don’ t do to well with conversations either. Thanks to Cathy somewhere above I can now tell people not to laugh at me I suffer from Mondegreen.

  44. For the longest time, I thought that the Beatles “Paperback Writer” was actually “Piggy-back Rider”. Part of my problem is that I am the weird Al generation, in which all songs have alternate amusing lyrics.

  45. I belie there is actually a lyric about “just like a white winged dove”.. but for years i didn’t know that, and only after I saw Steve kicks in concert did I get it. And I have seen her like 4 times now. Call me stalked.

    I once heard someone do an a-capella version of “welcome to the jungle” which you would think would not work — uh, and it didn’t — and realized i did not have a single line of that scream fest correct.

    There is a fun book out “Excuse Me While I Kiss THis Guy” about lyrics misinterpreted. Or it looks fun, I did not buy it as didn’t want to feel like that much of a schmuck…

  46. Nooooo! All these (many) years, I thought it was, “Just like a one-winged dove”. *hangs head in shame*

  47. nope you are so not the first one, ever

    and this is why we love you, because you are JUST LIKE US

  48. For years (Ok, still), I swear that Van Halen is actually singing “ANIMAL!” instead of “Panama!” Who sings about Panama?

    I also only recently learned that “Invisible Touch” doesn’t go “She seems to be in physical top shape!” And I’m 34.

  49. I sing songs wrong sometimes on purpose, gotta give my kids something to blog about twenty years from now.

    If I can’t think of anything else I just revert to Weird Al lyrics.

    I love rocky road…

  50. I used to think “Every rose has it’s thorn” was “Every road has it’s phone.” In my defense, I was 9.

  51. I always thought it was “like the wide window” and my friend was always like why would she sing about having big windows. So yea, I totally feel your lyrical pain.

  52. I learned something this morning.

    This is just like the 90s when I finally learned to tell Tom Cruise, Rob Lowe, Robert Downy Jr., and Matt Dillon apart.

  53. Hmm… I always thought it was “Just like the world we know”

    We can’t ALL be good at song lyrics, Victor.

  54. Oh honey, we have a million of those sort of things.
    A girlfriends mom used to sing Rock Me Amadeus honestly thinking she was singing the right words with “Rock me Hot Potatoes” though she was always a bit confused as to what the “poor German kid” was thinking with such lyrics. I think she was thinking that it was originally in German and that it lost something in translation. 😉 We didn’t even bother trying to get into the whole He was actually Austrian and not German etc.
    And when we were kids my sister taught me that the words to the Beach Boys – I Get Around were “I get around, from town to town, I’m a real cool kid, I eat lots of squid” I don’t know how old I was when I realized that wasn’t right…or if I only got them wrong because I believed her…I like to blame her though. 🙂

  55. Give me the beat boys….I thought it was give me the beach boys till about 10 years ago!

  56. The song ‘every breathe you take’ by The Police, my brother convinced me (and himself) for years that instead of ‘poor heart aches’ that it was ‘pool hall aches’. But that’s understandable since Sting plays pool in the video right?

  57. When my husband and I first heard Pearl Jam’s “Alive,” we were sure it said:

    But do I deserve to be?
    Is that the question?
    If so,
    If so,

    (That would actually be “Who answers”)

    We turned out to be big Pearl Jam fans but we still think of the Windsurf song from time to time. Wrong lyrics die hard.

  58. For the longest time I thought Keith Urban was saying “take your cat that ate my sweater”. Turns out he was saying take your cap and leave my sweater.

  59. Beatles – Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds
    “The girl with kaleidoscope eyes” was always “The girl with colitis goes by” to me.
    I sang it that way for years.

  60. Also, it’s “Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer” NOT “Hold me close, I’m tired of dancing” though MY version makes a whole lot more sense. JUST SAYIN.

  61. I love Stevie Nicks, but her explaintion of the song is just as confusing as yours. She said she wrote it about John Lennon dying, and also her Uncle dying. The ” running up the stairs and down the hall part” was about her looking for a nurse in the hospital. Very deep. It also has something to do with Tom Petty’s wife. Like I said, very confusing.

  62. I am posting again to try and get you people to read my blog. When I say “you people”, I of course mean high or drunk people. They are the only ones who find me the least bit interesting.

  63. Manfred Mann’s “Blinded by the Light”

    Me: Did he really just sing, “Wrapped up like a douche another moaner in the night? What the hell?? ”
    Hubby: (Laughs hysterically)

  64. Tracey, my sister has been sing ” Hold me closer, Tony Danza” for years. I still haven’t corrected her, it’s too funny.

  65. I always thought it was, “He’s the eye of the tiger, he’s the cream of the crop”, not “the thrill of the fight.” 🙁

    You should watch this little sweet pea in her rendition of Ms. New Booty, aka Ms. Moogoo. It’s so cute!

  66. I was kind of a music dork, but there were a few songs I liked, not the least of which was Tears for Fears Shout. Or Shout shout let it all out. Whatever it’s called, it didn’t demand a know-it-all-musical-theatre MIssy to sing it. It was a chant, we need more chanting.

    But that was just my anthem for roller skating on the deck in secrecy My real song, the one I went 15 years singing with gusto was, “Rock the casbah” which I sang as “Rock the sasquatch.” I’ll never forget being corrected in the Red Robin in Yakima. “It’s what?” I spat. “What the heck is a casbah?” And the woman siad, “Why would you rock a sasquatch?” And I said, “Well, gosh, what else would you do with a sasquatch?”

  67. You must have seen those dang dove shoes, BEFORE you were messing up those lyrics… 😉

  68. I’ll be damned, I always thought it was “That’s just the way things go, sings a song…” But I also just had a conversation with a friend yesterday that Pandora is messing with me. No matter how many times I press thumbs down to Fleetwood Mac, they keep coming back. It even played a FM song directly after I thumbs downed a FM song. Bastards!

  69. Amanda… LMAOOO!!! I never could understand half the words to “Rock the Casbah”. I always thought they were saying, “Sherie you were my date”.

    Now I must google to find out.

  70. I am a master at royally fucking up song lyrics. “Come on Eileen, oh I swear you’re a teen (WHAT!?!), at this moment, take off everything. Oh, I like your blue dress. Oh, I swear it’s a mess (is this supposed to be turning her on?)…” Need I go on?

    Additionally, I am also quite adept at the crude coupling of reto commercial jingles. Such as, “Blue Bell Ice Cream…by Mennen.”

  71. When we were little my sister always used to sing the Bon Jovi song “you give love to a band-aid” instead of “you give love a bad name.” That was 25 years ago and we all still sing her version of the song (loudly and probably annoyingly, I might add) whenever we hear it.

  72. So I don’t know if it’s been pointed out in the comments yet, but to answer your question on “Why would she be singing a song that “sounds like she’s singing”? Either you’re singing or you’re not singing. ” You have to listen to the lyrics differently…
    Just like a white winged dove,
    sings a song
    sounds like she’s singing,
    “Ooh, baby, Oooh” (kind of like COO, baby, COO… like a dove)

    FAIL Stevie Nicks for trying to make “ooh” sound like “coo”. Quite a stretch if you ask me.

  73. Okay, the whole misunderstanding of Stevie Nicks’ is hilarious! I remember growing up that one of my girlfriends though the lyrics to “Natural Women”were “You make me feel like a man or a women.” She would sing it at the top of her lungs. Flipping hysterical!

  74. whoops i put quotes in wrong place on previous post. oh well i’m sure u can figure it out. and Shaye, my brother thought the same thing…band aid not bad name. we still tease him.

  75. my daughter, in listening to the Katy Perry song “The one that got away,” thought that instead of singing “they got matching tattoos,” she sang “they got ma chink tutu’s.” this, of course, made no sense to her at all, but she’s 10, so she just accepted it as jibberish.

  76. Anyone want to take on Creedence Clearwater lyrics? I think you should have a CCR marathon with Victor on a LONG drive. He will so love it!

  77. My fiancé might be able to give you a run for your money on this one.

    About a year ago, there was a song that came on the radio all the time. The lyric was “like my iPod’s stuck on replay”. I had to try to convince him the lyrics weren’t “gouge my eyes out every day”

    First of all, those aren’t the words. Secondly, this is a song about ow much he likes someone, so why are eyeballs being gouged? Finally, gouging out your own eyeballs isn’t something that can be done on a daily basis by people who are not Wolverine. That shit needs time to heal before you… Re-gouge? Is that a word?

  78. I used to think that that song Open Arms by Journey was called Broken Arms. And my old roommate thought that the Billy Idol Song Eyes Without A Face was actually called “How’s About A Date.”

  79. I did something like that once…now I Google the lyrics pretty much ALL the time, because my friends are ruthless…

  80. Ok seriously, I’ve always thought the line was “just like a ONE winged dove,” which actually makes the song more tragic and symbolic. This. Changes. Everything.

  81. and so I continue to think we were separated at birth. I mutilate songs and it drives my husband insane. He always knows every single lyric and who sang it and on what album it came from- which drives me insane. As long as you know the tune who cares what the lyrics are! That’s my motto.

  82. I though the same thing! But I also thought Flashdance said “Take your pants off/and make it happen.”

  83. My husband is famous for this. My favorite was when he was completely convinced the Bee Gees “More Than a Woman” was “Strawberry Woman.”

  84. I thought it was “I’ve got shoes, they’re made for flying” Instead of “I’ve got chills they’re multiplying”
    Quite honestly I think flying shoes would have been much better.

  85. I heard a kid in the grocery store the other day singing his heart about about his Moon Rock Jacket….. um, Moves Like Jagger?

  86. I prefer to mess up the lyrics.

    The one republic song, Apologize says “And you say sorry like the angel heaven let me think was you, but I’m afraid, it’s too late to apologize.” I changed it to “And you say sorry like the angel heaven let me think was you, but I’m all like, it’s too late to apologize.”

    I know the words, I just prefer to make them fit to my mood. Sweet Caroline was altered in a desperate moment of screaming children, and it was all that would get them to chill out. Now it’s their favorite song, and I get to “sing” Neil Diamond at the top of my lungs. ( SWEET CAROLINE! BUTTS BUTTS BUTTS! Good times never seemed so good!)

  87. For YEARS I thought the Ringo Starr song ‘Photograph’ was Bowl of Crap. As in..All I got is a bowl of crap and I realize you’re not coming back anymore.

    I always thought if all you had was a bowl of crap that you’d be better off with just nothing. And why would someone save a bowl of crap?

  88. Just remembered another one. The year was 1984. I was in 10th grade, and my sweet innocent little sister was about 8 years old. Huey Lewis was all the rage.

    Yep, little sis went around singing, “I want a new TRUCK.”

    No one corrected her, especially my straight-laced mom. Who needs a girl who still plays with Barbies belting out, “I want a new drug!”


  89. R.E.M : ‘Calling Tasmania…’ I know now these are not the words. And yet, I will always sing them.

  90. De-lurking to say that I always thought it was “just like a one wing dove” and never thought about how odd that would be!

  91. I always thought it was “Just like the one-winged dove sings a song sounds like she’s singing”…that makes much more sense…the poor little dove with only one wing flapping around thinking she’s singing but it’s really just her one wing uselessly flapping. Totally identified with that, I’m just flapping around thinking I’m good and everything and I’m fooling everyone into believing I’m awesome. Now, I am so confused. Oh well, in my mind it’s all about a one-winged dove.

  92. My husband was REALLY rocking out in the car one day to this song: http://youtu.be/zJv5qLsLYoo (You Spin Me Round by Dead or Alive). And then he sang “You spin me RICE round baby RICE round” … which is even funnier because there is emphasis on that word so he sang it louder. And I said “What’s rice round?”

  93. A friend in high school always sang the line “Lucifer’s face in the mirror when you look, Left for God to see” from Danzig’s “Long Way Back From Hell” as, “Lucifer’s face in the mirror when you look, I forgot to shave”. Which actually makes more sense. I envision Lucifer as a non-shaving bastard.

  94. Dear Jenny,
    I pre-ordered your book SO LONG AGO, I forgot when it is coming out. No kidding. Can you tell me and you other eager readers please? Thanks doll. Love, Laurie F. at Hibernationnow

  95. “Psycho Chicken, qu’est-ce que c’est…”

    Intead of “Psycho killer, qu’est-ce que c’est…”

    And recently this horrible song running through my head “got to move that dagger” is really “I’ve got moves like Jagger!”

  96. “rocket man, burning up the sleeve to never done” at least I think that’s what Elton is singing, I’ve looked it up a billion times and still can’t sing that line right….oh, and don’t get me started on Bennie & the Jets.

  97. I always thought it was “wild wind blows,” too, but I also thought that other song by Somebody whoever went “get out of my grits, get into my car” which makes less sense than the actual song?

    And I can’t karaoke any songs with the word “memories” because I always sing “mammaries” like some 12-year-old and start giggling.

  98. At 8, I thought the Roxette song “Get Dressed For Success” was “Get Dressed For Some Sex”, needless to say, my knowledge of sex was limited to episodes of Santa Barbara. My Mom explained that it was in fact “Success”, she didn’t explain what “sex” was, ever! Encyclopedia Britannica did that, albeit a few years later.

  99. …. And now, at 30, I understand the idiotic notion of having to GET dressed for some sex. Live and learn.

  100. I thought Adele’s Set Fire to the Rain was “…and I say thanks to the rain, watch it fall..” because it makes a lot more sense to say thanks to the rain than to set fire to it. Unless the rain cheated on you.

  101. Lyric I always fuck up even though I KNOW the real line.
    KD Lang- constant craving. In the chorus she sings all slow the words. Constant craving, for whatever reason I always end up singing God sent gravy. The song will be half way done when I realize what I’m singing and I do a face palm thing ing what is wrong with me. Now you will here it and sing it that way to. Your welcome!

  102. Remember CCR’s “bad moon on the rise” ? I have a friend who was very relieved to discover it was not a “bathroom on the right.” 😉
    Let the mondegreen games begin! 

  103. When I was a wee babe of 3, at one of my parents holiday parties, i was placed on the coffee table to sing a festive song. I chose The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on and Open Fire) and began with my best Johnny Mathis style breathy voice. “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire, Jack Frost Picking at your nose” The adults burst out laughing and clapping. I though I was just awesome and cute and sang louder. Little did I know I was going to hear that story, at every holiday party for the next 38 years of my life.

  104. Actually, until I read your post, I was convinced that it was “one-winged dove.”

    “Just like the one-winged dove,
    Sings a song sounds like she’s singing . . . ”

    I figured it was about some kind of pain and loss and breaking up, and she felt like a beautiful but wounded bird with one wing. Frankly, after the 1960s there was little reason to wonder why song lyrics didn’t make sense, so it was hard to be critical and decide whether you had ’em right. I often just figured I didn’t understand the songs because I wasn’t high.

  105. It seems I’m not the only one who thinks it is/was/should be some version of “Wrapped up like a douche in a turkey-colored lighter.”

    Even now, I can’t go back and not hear it.

  106. There’s a whole Wikipedia entry on this song ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edge_of_Seventeen_(Just_Like_the_White_Winged_Dove) ), including a section on the fact that many people misunderstand the song lyrics. That being said, I myself have heard both “just like the white winged dove” and “just like the wild wind blows,” so I’m totally screwed up. And there are countless songs that I mis-hear all the time. It’s like all these singers need to take speech lessons and learn to enunciate or something.

  107. I also want to add that, in spite of countless misunderstandings of this song, it’s still a great song, and Stevie Nicks kicks some serious butt.

  108. No worries. At least three people I know thought that line was “Just like a one-wing dove…”

    And that really makes sense.

  109. I love knowing the exact lyrics in songs but I used to think that the line in “Your So Vain” was “there were clowns in my coffee” I could never understand that

  110. My Aunt for the longest time thought it was “Just brush my teeth before you leave me, baby”.

  111. Driving with my mom in the ’80s while “What a Feeling” from Flashdance plays on the radio:
    Mom: Well, that’s just disgusting.
    Me: What?
    Mom: This song, “Take your pants down and make it happen.”
    Me: It’s “Take your passion and make it happen,” mom.
    Mom: Same thing.

    PS: I’m among the commenters who thought Stevie Nicks was singing about a crippled one-winged dove. So who am I to talk?

  112. My offspring was greatly amused to find that her poor old momma thought the gal singing one of today’s top-40 hits was chanting “I love you like a lonesome baby.” Turns out she loves you like a love song, baby.

  113. It’s ironic because I’m named after a song Stevie Nicks sings called ‘Rhiannon’ and often, when people discover that’s what she’s bleeting out they have a small epiphany. If my mother had misinterpretted her singing like so many people do, I could’ve been called shannna-nannon, or even just a low moaning noise that epitomizes drunken stupor. Luckily, my mom looked into it a little further; but unluckily, it’s still rare to find people with the ability to properly pronounce my name. Damn you Stevie Nicks, and your ambiguous enunciation!

  114. My sweet friend Rosie sang the same song with these lyrics “Just like a one winged dove..” and did it with such conviction that I wondered for a moment if she was right. It helped that she did a little floppity one wing dove dance. I love that girl.

  115. I always thought that the Doobie Brothers were singing, “Give me The Beach Boys and free my soul…” I was a teenager and my boss heard me singing it and set me straight.

  116. I’m right there with you. With songs and just normal every day talking. I say things like, “A cat of sacknip” or “The arms on my hair are standing up.”. My hubby on the other hand purposefully changes songs. For example: Jar of Farts; My Arms are Broken” for arms wide open and the Cranberries Linger gets changed from You’ve got me wrapped around your finger to “why did you pull my finger?”. Lol. See a theme here?

  117. I always thought “just touch my cheek before you leave me” from Juice Newton’s Angel of the Morning was “just brush my teeth before you leave me.”

  118. Some friends I was with were singing Friends in Low Places . . . Instead of “I’m not big on social graces” they sang “I’m not big on sausage gravy.” Buah ha ha!!!!!

  119. My hubby once tried to attribute my singing song lyrics wrong as a genetic thing since my mom is just as bad. I don’t know if he was trying to make me feel better or tease both of us.

    “lust for life” = “les paul live”

  120. Dear Bloggess,
    You have no idea what you mean to us. We have taken a two day mini break to a cabin in the woods we have seen no people as of yet (we checked in with a code printed from the net), we are sure zombie are lurking therefore we are trying to keep as much alcohol in our system as possible to throw off that pesky human scent. Beyonce is with us and is keeping safe thusfar. There are many random kitchen utensils in this cabin, bean pots, pastry brushes, and TWO juicers! If we could remember how to send pics we would however that option is no longer available. But we love you and we just bought mugs from you because we are librarians and “when your wrong your wrong” is the best ever to have on our desks;)

  121. Nikki Sixx was sooo hot.

    Standing there with Flitwood Smacks.

    In that hot, hot white ethereal gauze thing.

    Belting out “Grand Canyon, brings like a gell through the night.”

    Great mamories.

    No wonders Flitwood was so big.

  122. For years, I thought it was “the one-winged dove.” And I thought it was a really tragic song about birds with disabilities. We really don’t have enough disabled-bird awareness as a society.

  123. LOVED the article… I actually used to think the lyrics were “white window”… which made no sense at all!

    But my worst offense is the song by The Who called “Who are you”- I could not understand the lyrics correctly, and insisted the lyrics to the chorus were “Blue Awning (blue blue, blue blue)”.

    Go ahead, You Tube it. You’ll here it too…. and to this day I insist upon singing it that way.

  124. You know that old ’90’s song that went, “It’s the right time to roll to me?” I thought it was “roll the meat.” I always imagined someone rolling a big ham down the street.

  125. I am so embarrassed. All this time (basically my whole life), I thought it was one-winged dove. Just like the one-winged dove, sings a song, sounds like she’s singin’…

    And I used to think that was so poetic.

    Wow. I’m so embarrassed.

  126. Remember the song “Informer” by some white rapper guy? I thought the song was “I’m a farmer” which is what I would expect some weird white rapper guy to be singing. Once I shared the “I’m a farmer” lyrics, my sister helped me come up with an entire chorus. Which was wonderful in a crazy never gonna be invited to do karaoke kind of way. And? Two of my favorite authors interviewing each other? Fantastic. Throw in one Laurie Notaro and I would have been in heaven.

  127. Groovin on a Sunday Afternoon — I always heard “life would be exctasy you and me and Leslie…” It’s “endlessly .”

  128. Just corrected a friend of mine, who’s apparently been singing this for the past 20 years:
    “Blinded by the light. Wrapped up like a douche in the middle of the night.”


  129. My favourite mishearing of a lyric has to be “sifting up my boobs, going back to my roots yeah” Odyssey’s song actually goes “zipping up my boots”. I much prefer my version. Let’s start a log of ‘improved’ song lyrics!!

  130. I have a suspicion there is a devious little lyrics imp who twist the words as they go into our ears…and I have an even stronger suspicion they’re on the hubbies’ side too, the nasty buggers.

    OMG those shoes! I have to admit, her comment “I just hollowed out the body of some doves and made a pair of stilletos out of em. No big dealio.” made me spew coffee all over the place. Brilliant!

  131. There is a website called kissthisguy.com that is all about misheard lyrics. It should make you feel better.

    My personal best is Ozzy’s “Crazy Train,” which until a couple of years ago I thought went “going off the rails on a gravy train,” which means I thought that for…well, more years than I’ll admit to. A lotta lotta years. And like yours, I thought it was the stupidest lyric ever. Then one day there was a pause in the hiss and crackle of my car radio and I happened to catch some sibilance in the word I thought was “gravy” and a lightbulb incandesced above my head so brilliantly that it shattered and rained hot glass all over me and I think I got some in my eye.

  132. I am oft mocked for my attempts at repeating lyrics. I like to think it’s because my mind thinks out of the box. The one trotted out most often- ZZ Top’s “Slip Inside My Sleeping Bag.” My version: “Slip and Slide and Say You’re Bad.” C’mon. Still works.

  133. Oh god… I’m dying. I’m also drugged out on Vicoden, which makes it twice as funny. I’m pretty sure I’ve been guilty of all of these. I could seriously discuss this subject for days. So glad I’m not the only one who had problems with “Dirty Deeds, Done Dirt Cheap.” I always though it was “Thunder Jeep.” But my worst… “Like a Hurricane.” It actually says “There’s calm in your eye(s),” as in the eye of the storm, which made perfect sense when someone explained it to me. I *knew* it couldn’t *really* be “There’s cum in your eye,” but it really sounded that way to me!

  134. I have to laugh at this because I very much the same way with lyrics!

    The one my husband will never let me live down is Bush’s EVERYTHING ZEN. I thought the chorus was “Tracy was my wife”. Turns out it’s actually “Try to see it once my way”. Close enough, yeah? hahaha

  135. There’s nothing more humbling than someone correcting the lyrics to a song when you are smack dab in the middle of breaking it down.. to a room full of stuffed animals.. whilst singing into a hairbrush… What does my husband know anyway? And how does he NOT know to knock before he enters?

  136. Used to drive me crazy with shame and annoyance when I was a teenager and my mom did it, now I’m starting to do it and I find it quirky and fun. Not as good as mom, tho. Once on a roadtrip I spent 50 miles jaw-dropped and fascinated/horrified while she sang the Knack’s “My Corolla” complete with _rhyming_ and properly metered verses about gas mileage, reliability, longevity and safety. We were in the corolla in question and she had no idea she wasn’t singing the actual lyrics from memory.

  137. Another misheard lyric for Bohemian Rhapsody…Until recently (for many many many years) I thought the line “Spare him his life from this monstrosity!” was “Sparing his life from this poor sausage eee!”

  138. @Amanda of the Wink: I TOTALLY thought the lyrics were “Rock the Sasquatch”! Really, it’s NOT?! I am now corrected {heavy sigh}. Perhaps I thought that cuz I am from Washington State, too! 🙂

    And the “Foster the People Song, “Pumped Up Kicks”…I thought was “Pumped Up Kitchen.” I think I am watching TOOOOO many cooking shows! HA!

    LOVE all the comments! I’m kinda thinkin’ our messed up lyrics are better than the original!

    Prevail~Tattoo Girl (sending light and magic flowing strongly your way)

  139. Shouldn’t admit this, but I was singing to ‘Brown Sugar’ on the car radio, with my eight year old daughter in the passenger seat belting out at the refrain, “rob scroober!” Unforgettable; and later we used it as a name for a brown rabbit that lived in our backyard.

  140. A friend of mine wondered why Elton John would sing “Call my grocer, Tony Danza.”

    Also, do you know the old song Tennessee Waltz? The lyrics are about another song called the Tennessee Waltz, not the one being sung. Most confusing song of my childhood ever!

  141. Apparently, my mother in law thought Bill Idol was asking someone “how’s about a date” in Eyes Without a Face. Her version makes more sense, but I doubt Billy would ask anyone to the sock hop. BTW: Check this out. One of my favorite guys ever, doing a whole medley of misunderstood lyrics. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wvl8AW9aOOA

  142. HA! I so won that bet with my brother.

    BRO: Just like the one winged dove sings a song…
    ME: White
    BRO: What
    ME: White wing dove
    BRO: Na-noooo.
    ME: Ya-yes.
    BRO: How would you know. You don’t even like those guys.
    ME: Don’t have to like or dislike to know you are wrong.
    BRO: why is it a white dove? Like when doves cry?
    ME: white dove as opposed to mourning dove which is grey and truly a pidgeon.
    BRO; [talk to the hand] whatever.
    ME: What does a one winged dove have to sing about?
    BRO: I’m googling it………………. damn it. I hate you.
    ME: So throw 99 Luft balloons on the ole youtube. In German.
    BRO: I hate you.
    Not yet he doesn’t.
    ME: Hey, theres a bathroom on the right.
    BRO: I hate you.
    ME: Yep. Now you can.
    Because the bathroom is to the right of his home office and that one could not be blamed on absent dogs.

  143. I always thought she said “Just like a one winged dove” until a co-worker corrected me. I still sing it that way for shits and giggles 🙂

  144. hey melbrs,
    Secret Asian man is a song by Paul & Storm of DaVinci’s Notebook. Ever since they did that on the Bob and Tom show I can’t here Johnny Rivers sing it any other way.

  145. I just learned there is a word for the misheard/misung lyric :mondegreen. It was from a 1954 story in the New Yorker. Added to the dictionary in 2000. You are welcome.

  146. I just happened to run upon this website or well,blog while doing a search,as i was just curious if anyone else misheard the lyrics to Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers “Change of heart”?

    For the part that goes “I fought two years,I fought too hard’ >,I allways heard “I fucked 2 years,I fucked too hard.

  147. When I’m not exactly sure about lyrics (’cause they sound weird, or I’m just mumbling through them), I make myself look them up. Maybe that’s just too much though.

  148. For most of my life I thought it was “Just like the wild wind girl” and I still sing it that way. There’s a Counting Crows song that I loved when I was a teenager “A Murder of One” because I thought the lyrics were “There’s a perfectness inside you/ Sleeping underneath your skin/When you open up your wings to speak/I wish you’d let me in” . Those words just spoke to my dramatic 19 year old soul!!! Imagine how distraught I was to find the real lyrics were “There’s a bird that nests inside you” !
    Is it any wonder Adam Duritz has turned out to be such a…whatever it is that he is?

  149. I heard it as “one-winged dove” and used to giggle about this dove flying in circles … a friend heard “cheap wine and a three-legged goat” in the Cold Chisel song.
    Check out http://www.kissthisguy.com for hilarious misheard lyrics.

  150. Nikki Six confused me, too. Until I saw your post, I thought it was a “one-winged dove,” which made no sense (and seemed kinda mean).

  151. You make me giggle. And then my mother in law looks at me sideways and I giggle harder. This was before the wine slushies….not it’s worse.

  152. I have the same problem…lyrics and celebrities. I always get Richard Simmons and Gene Simmons confused. And I used to think it was “Bit by the waggling bug…she makes a makes that sound because it’s stingin’… OOoooo, baby, Ooooo, yeah, OOoooo…” I was wrong, too.

  153. My sister, 10 years old, Steve Windwood, 1985: “Bring me a pie of love!” Belting it out at the top of her lungs. I only wish I had it on video now.

  154. Florence and The Machines- Dog Days Are Over, the first line is “Happiness… is Brett Favre.” right? I mean, right? It has to be because it’s true.

  155. I think you should continue to talk about music, and what you think lyrics are. It’s an interesting view into your inner psyche.

    Also, tell Victor that you have too much creativity and imagination to just follow the “correct” lyrics to every song. You can’t hold that shit in. IT NEEDS TO COME OUT!!!!

    The End

  156. You can’t blame Nikki Sixx Stevie Nicks* for those fucked up lyrics. If she did actually write them, she was likely whacked out of her head on cocaine. Which, I suppose, is accurate seeing as the lyrics:

    Just like the white winged dove
    Sings a song
    Sounds like she’s singing
    Oooh… Ooh… Oooh…

    aren’t the most, umm… transcendentally intelligent. Or something.
    I should probably go and get more coffee.

    * – It should be noted that I love Fleetwood Mac and Ms. Nicks. But the antics of some of the 70’s, 80’s…OK, any time period, musicians were a bit extreme.

    Heh. I’ll bet if he could’ve, Mozart would have TOTALLY thrown a TV through a hotel window.

  157. Oh I’m banned from talking about music with the husband. He’s a musician. I think the turning point was when he mentioned Ringo and I was all like ‘whats a Ringo? Some kind of dish detergent?’

    It’s probably better if I just stop typing now.

  158. I definitely thought it was “Just like the one-winged dove…” Nice to hear that the little guy has two wings after all.

  159. I’ve never had a bird phobia, but I do now. WTH did she do to those doves to make them look to gd vicious??? In the future, whenever I get a wedding invite, I’ll have to verify there will be no doves before I can rsvp… or I can just use them for target practice and make shoes out of them.

    Tough call.

  160. Also, it seems that Jewel was not saying that there was “a dead end tamale, there’s a burning bush to my right.” When someone told me the actual lyrics I was so sad. The dead end tamale intrigued me.

  161. OMG I am always singing the wrong lyric at the wrong time.
    However, last week, I was texted “I’m *singing* I don’t wanna to work…” And my hubby picked up and texted back “I just want to lay in the sun all day” and then I was all “those aren’t the right lyrics, dude. It’s I just want to bang on my drum all day. And it’s by Todd Rundgren.” To which he replied. “Damn your smart-ass phone.” He thought I looked it up on my phone. Then I texted back. “Sadly, I knew that. All by myself.”
    He just texted back, “nerd.”

  162. Jenny-hysterical post as usual. My husband’s favorite singer is Stevie Nicks so I had to show him this. My best messed up lyric is from “Heart of Gold” by Neil Young. I never could figure out why he was “searching for an ar-ti-choke” but no wonder why he was getting old. LOL! Turns out he was searching for “a heart of gold”-duh!

    Stephanie@23-I shouldva warned you. Nobody warned me either. Stupid dumbass George Clooney for making a really SAD movie!

    Courtney@70-You mean he doesn’t say “take your cat and leave my sweater”? That totally makes sense to me!

  163. My wrong lyrics is for Steve Perry’s “Oh Sherrie”. I still sing it the wrong way on purpose, because lets face it…my lyrics are better. “Oh Sherrie, our love…COLE SLAW! COLE SLAW!!!!”

  164. I’ts “white-winged dove???” I always thought it was “one-winged dove.” And I was always so sad about that damn dove with one wing…

  165. My sister was famous for this when she was a kid. The line in Daydream Believer that goes “You once thought of me as a white knight on a steed” she thought was “a bright light on the street.” She also thought the chorus of the Filter song Hey Man, Nice Shot was “That’s why I say human nation”

  166. Okay, my husband and I have just recovered from laughing so hard about the stupid Keith Urban song. Here’s our convo:
    him: What!? it isn’t “take your cat”? Who the hell tells their girlfriend to take her CAP and leave? Google it.
    me: *googles it* OMG, WTF, it IS cap.
    him: WTF!? No way!? Did you ever have a boyfriend tell you to take your cap and leave? I could totally see someone saying take your CAT and leave!
    me: *in between laughs* Yeah, um, no! No one would say take your cap and leave. I think its because he’s Australian.
    him: That is messed up.
    (Sorry to all the Australian’s I’ve offended now)

  167. Have you heard the song, “Kyrie eleison?” You probably have, but didn’t know it was called that either. Being both a failed catholic and ignorant of latin, my young mind heard “carry a laser”, as in, “Carry a laser down this road that I must travel; carry a laser through the darkness and the night”. I always pictured someone with a light saber walking down a dark alley. Clearly I am a product of the Star Wars generation.

  168. Growing up, a friend’s mom thought Garth Brooks’ “Shameless” was “Shaving”. “Oh, I’m shaving… shaving as a man can be…”

    My own mother always got Michael Bolton’s “Soul Provider” wrong. She thought it was “Sole Survivor”, as in “I want to be your sole survivor” … talk about a morbid twist on that one! 😉

  169. Did you know that Elton John’s song, Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds has a line about “A girl with colitis goes by?” I mean who writes a song about large intestine problems? Sheesh.

    And then Manfred Man’s song about a guy “wrapped up in a douche?” That’s just freakin gross.

  170. For the longest time I heard Smallville’s theme song as “I’ll make this home a child for you” instead of “I’ll make this whole world shine for you.” I knew it couldn’t be right, but didn’t care enough to look it up.

  171. @Hyrum – OMG!! I am 37 years old and I did not realize that was supposed to be Go See Cal. I spent my summers in California with my grandmother, and I remember those commercials. I can’t believe it never occurred to me that it was anything other than pussy cow. I thought it was a term of endearment and he was being very friendly to his potential customers. I can’t stop laughing now. 🙂

  172. Jenny, I know you will be interested in taking this course!!!!

    EAST LANSING — Michigan State University is taking on the zombie threat.

    The School of Social Work is offering an online course called “Surviving the Coming Zombie Apocalypse – Catastrophes and Human Behavior.”

    The seven-week course starts May 14. The university says students will learn how human behavior and nature change after catastrophes, both historical and hypothetical.

    The course will combine traditional coursework, online forums and a catastrophic event simulation of a zombie pandemic.

    The university says the two-credit course will include aspects of anthropology, sociology and geology.

  173. I spent years convinced Metallica was singing “where’s your corn, King nothing?” it’s not just you. 🙂

  174. Up until about 2 minutes ago I thought that the lyrics were “like a one winged dove” and that it was singing a sad song because it couldn’t fly right.

    So you managed to teach me something today!

  175. My favourite is a guy who called a local radio station to request “Slow Walking Walter”. The dj asked him to sing some of the song so he could identify it and the guy sang “Slooooww walking Walter….Fire Engine Guy!”
    I won’t tell you the song – more fun if you guess it. 🙂

  176. For the longest time I couldn’t figure out why no one was screaming bloody murder racism over “Don’t go out tonight, there’s bound to be a fight, there’s a black man on the right.”

  177. I once had a room-mate who knew all the same wrong lyrics as me. It was great. We’d go to the grocery store at 2 a.m., belting out the wrong lyrics (probably) to some song, and at exactly the same moment we’d be doing the “yadayadasomethingyada” lyrics.

    Those roomies are hard to come by!

  178. It’s been that way for me with lyrics ever since I was a kid and swore the songs went:
    “Dashing through the snow, in a one horse soap and sleigh…”
    “They paid pair of dice and put up a parking lot…”
    “Lucy in disguise with diamonds…”
    And, unfortunately, dozens more. :-/

  179. When they were both in Fleetwood Mac (yes, I know, I’m old), I thought the bloke was Stevie Nicks and the chick was Lindsey Buckingham. True story.

  180. I’ve never commented on your blog before, but I just had to share the funniest lyric fail I’d ever heard. My good friend’s hubby, used to sing the classic KISS song, like this:

    I… wanna rock & roll all night… and PART OF everyday.

    I still crack up every time I think about it!

  181. For my entire life, I have been singing “Blinded by the light. Revved up like a douche, another runner in the night.”
    and when i wrote about misheard lyrics (www.pajamasandcoffee.com/?p=4434), some readers had hilarious ones too (‘Hold Me Closer Tony Danza”, “Someone left a gay cat in the rain”)

    Good times! 😉

  182. Moved from a DM to you:

    Just in case you miss my twitter response, it is called Mondegreen. http://t.co/1Jh24W5 My most recent one was Sugarland’s Stuck Like Glue. Thought it was ‘Satellite Blue’ I was puzzled by what that meant; also made the song damn hard to find.

  183. A couple of years ago my boyfriend at the time and I were at Disney World. We were staying in the “80’s” portion of their pop culture hotel, and “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” came on the loudspeaker. Swear to God, my ex sang “ghost band so close to me!” I almost pissed myself.

  184. I thought ti was “one-winged dove” until my husband corrected me. I still sing it my way. Because I like it better.

  185. Way long ago when I was a kid (and you probably were not even born yet, yes really), I heard the Elton John song “Love Lies Bleeding” from his “Goodbye Yellow Brick Road” album. (This was way, way before cds). The refrain is “And love lies bleeding in my hand…,” but to me it sounded just like, “I don’t like peeing in my hand…” But then I actually got the album and the lyrics and it made MUCH more sense. But it wasn’t nearly as funny.

  186. My son sang, “Bye, bye Miss American Pie, drove the machete through Neddy, but Neddy was dry.”

  187. One time, I was at a club and “Sexy Bitch” started playing and this girl started singing at the top of her lungs “DAMN, YOU A SEXY FISH!”, with the genuine belief that those were the lyrics.

    THEN, some other random girl runs up to her and pushes her, shouting “It’s bitch, not FISH, YOU WHORE!”

    I love my town.

  188. My sister and I saw Stevie Nicks in concert last summer, and when she sang Edge of Seventeen we both hollered out “JUST LIKE THE WAY WE WERE, sings a song sounds like she’s singin.” We got a few strange looks. I googled the lyrics after the show and was mildly embarrassed. So you’re not the only one who got the lyrics wrong!

  189. Kenny Roger’s sang a song, with a chorus that said “You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille, with four hungry children, and a crop in the field”.

    Forever, I thought it was “You picked a fine time to leave me Lucille, with four hundred children, and a crop in the field”. I never questioned why he would have four hundred children, I just wondered why he was whining about getting the crop in…hell, he had four hundred children to help him!!!

  190. “I can’t be the only one who fucks up lyrics this badly.”

    Sorry, you are the only one who does. I hate to break it to you. You’re an anomaly.

  191. I recently sent a card to a friend from college that said the following:

    “I hate when I’m singing a song and someone corrects me… I’m like “Bitch, what if I was freestylin’.”

    I have been freestylin’ my entire life.

  192. For the longest time I would sing, proudly, “just like the one wing dove” and my best friend asked me what the hell I was saying so I repeated it. And he said, “no honey, it’s white wing dove” and I argued that it was one wing dove and that’s why she was singing, because she was sad she only had one wing. It makes perfect sense to me!

  193. Remember that Genesis song, ‘Physical Attraction?” I spent FAR too long singing it as “…she sees the hat and isn’t gonna touch it.” Does that even make ANY sense? No. But… completely obliterating a Genesis song? Not the worst thing ever. My husband, on the other hand, insists that the song ‘Levon’ by Elton John includes the lyrics “Avatars in the hands of Sun today (Alvin Tostig has a son today).”

  194. One of my friends was singing at a frat party YEARS ago…

    Sheriff don’t like it….(it’s mentally contagious)

    True story.

  195. Seriously? I am still having a nerdgasm that you and Jen Lancaster interviewed each other. I *TOTALLY* love the both of you! Thank you for being the epitome of awesomeness that you are!

  196. My mom asked why the maroon 5 guy was singing about needing to park his jaguar. As opposed to having moves like jagger. Same thing apparently.

  197. For a long time, I thought the lyrics in the Eric Clapton song, “Lay Down Sally” were Lay Down the Salad. I thought they were eating dinner! My husband had to finally point out my error.

    I like making up my own lyrics!

  198. I always thought it was “just like the one-winged dove” — which makes little sense either, actually.

    You need this: http://kissthisguy.com/ — The Archive of Misheard Lyrics.

  199. Well there’s another song that been irrecoverably fucked up for me. EVERY TIME Edge of Seventeen comes on I’ve been signing it the RIGHT (your) way. Now I can never sign along every again. Thanks, Victor, for crushing Stevie Nicks.

  200. I always that that “there’s a bad moon out tonight” was “there’s a bathroom on the right”. Which is fine – if you’re making a map.

  201. This is common enough that it has its own name: mondegreen.

    I always used to enjoy my first wife’s singing along with ZZ Top.
    Somehow, she always sang *clean* lyrics to them that sounded
    semi-OK. “Tube Snake Boogie” became “Two State Boogie”.
    Pearl Necklace somehow became innocent (“that’s not jewelry
    that she’s talkin’ ’bout; really don’t cost that much”). Etc.

    If I sang, however, I knew the words, and she’d always get hugely
    angry, because they were raunchy, and in her opinion, wrong.
    Yeah. Right. Oh, well.

  202. I can only defend myself by saying, I was not alone…

    EVERYBODY thought she (Bennie) had Electric Boobs. With that Mohair Suit.

  203. I had a friend in high school who insisted that the lyrics to “Rock the Casbah,” were “Ralph, the cat’s bald.” Go on. Listen to the song. $10 says that her lyrics are all you’ll hear now.

  204. Great, now that song is stuck in my head for the rest of the night and I’m trying to SLEEP. And yeah, I thought it was Wild Wind Blows so now I’m singing it and correcting myself in my head. Happy fucking Christmas.

  205. One of my favorite mondegreens was when my roomie of the time said that the line “ticking in my head” in Joe Jackson’s “Got The Time” sounded like “chicken in my head” to him.

  206. You + Jen Lancaster = best interviews ever. I adore the both of you, so those interviews made my day. Thank you for being you and inviting all of us weirdos to unite in your awesomeness!

  207. I thought that song Blinded By The Light went…

    “wrapped up like a douche in the rower in the night”

    Surprised Summer’s Eve never tried to put that in an ad. I would have bought it – and I’m a dude!

  208. I love reading these!
    I butcher lots of songs, but two that make my husband laugh is….
    “someone shaved my wife tonight” (someone saved my live tonight)
    “”I’ll never see your pizza burnin” (I’ll never be our beast of burden)


  209. Hahaha, I’m glad I’m not the only one who butchers song lyrics and confuses artists. I always get Def Leppard and Lynyrd Skynyrd mixed up, their names are SIMILAR DAMMIT.

    I wrote a blog post that describes the lyrics I mishear: http://tomakelovestay.blogspot.com/2011/07/why-i-can-never-be-studio-singer.html

    In case clicking on that is too much:

    “Lodi” by Creedence Clearwater Revival
    Original line: Oh lord, stuck in Lodi again.
    Caitlin’s line: Oh lord, sucking on old diaphragms.

    “Story of my Life” by Social Distortion
    Original line: I didn’t have much interest in sports or school elections
    Caitlin’s line: I didn’t have much interest in sports or school erections

  210. Also, a friend of mine heard “Pour some sugar on me” as “First come to the I love.” Sounds bizarre, but go listen to it and you’ll hear it.

  211. Okay, one more. I thought “Everybody in the club gettin’ tipsy” was “Everybody in the club gettin’ TITS.”

  212. I thought it was ‘just like the white ranger,’ until I was in high school. Not the Power Rangers, but the elven rangers. I pictured a person in a white cloak, etc. All this goes to show the importance of good audio gear. Also reminds me of the commercial where the guy was singing “Pour some shook-up Ramen!” instead of “pour some sugar on me.”

    Caran March 4, 2012 at 1:34 pm
    I’m right there with you. With songs and just normal every day talking. I say things like, “A cat of sacknip” or “The arms on my hair are standing up.”.

    That’s know as a Spoonerism. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism

  213. I thought forever that it was “one winged dove”, and I thought, what a sad song….

  214. I’m pretty sure you just shut down Tumblr by sending your followers there. I’ve never been so proud to follow the Bloggess…

  215. My brother always thought Prince’s “Raspberry Beret” was “Brass Miracle Ring”. Rather wish I had a ring like that. Precious….

  216. My husband once told me he had that worm song from Lion King stuck in his head: “It’s enough for this one-eyed wonder worm.” He thought it was pretty dirty for a Disney song.

  217. Okay, listen, Jenny. I have been singing this song in my head ever since I read this post DAYS ago. But I only know one line, and evidently it is the wrong line and I have been singing it that way for years. Do you want to know what is running through my head? “Just like the one-winged dove…”

    That poor dove.

  218. Crazy Train: “Vegetables still screaming. Driving me insane” I’ve never figured out the real words and refuse to look em up.

  219. My boyfriend was convinced that Alanis Morissette, when singing You Oughta Know, was saying “the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me,” instead of “the cross I bear that you gave to me.” He had this whole story worked out where her ex had given her a stuffed animal that was made wrong, so it looked cross-eyed. Apparently he thought it was a really touching and sad reference.

    The worst part is that I actually PREFER his version, and that’s all I hear when someone plays that song now.

  220. Dear Jenny:
    Please create a Martin Van Buren photo sculpture and a Jean-Louis photo sculpture. I would like to add to my collection. OK, so far, I only have the Beyonce photo sculpture, but I am planning to buy Juantia Weasel and Hamlet von Schnitzel. I feel I will have a well-round collection of photo sculptures for my desk at work, if I have all four. Thank you.
    A Slightly Delusional NY State Government Employee

  221. Those shoes. On a swing they would look like they were flying. What would happen if your wore them to a dog park? What would happen if you wore them to a cockfight?

  222. TRUE story. I read this post last night before going to bed. I was going to comment but was too tired. Instead, I went to sleep and in my dream I made the comment (I was going to make here) to a group of people who had no idea what I was talking about. And then someone stole my coat.

    If that isn’t a sign from God or Queen Matilda, I don’t know what the fuck is.

    So, the comment that I should have made here instead of in my dream: When I was a kid I heard the Three Dog Night song, “Eli’s Coming” and thought they were singing that Eli was coming in a cock safe. I told my friends and none of us could figure out what the hell a cock safe was.

    Maybe those people in my dream stole my coat because they didn’t know what it was either.

  223. Ugh. I JUST learned the lyrics to this song 2 months ago when a friend sang it for me. Don’t ask what I was singing before– mostly just sounds.

    A friend of mine thought the Beatles’ “Paperback Writer” was “Take the back right turn.” Also, if you watch the misheard lyrics for Pearl Jam’s “Yellow Ledbetter” on youtube, you will never sing the real words again… as if anyone knows wtf he’s saying anyway…

  224. Seriously! I never really thought about the lyrics to that song, but I always assumed it was “just like the wild winged girls, sings a song sounds like she’s singin’
    But, of course, now that I think about that it makes no sense.

  225. Stevie Nicks also sings a song about Tampax. In the middle of the night.
    Song inspirations and lyrics from the 80’s were just weird.

  226. Ok, you have never offended me before, but I am a huge Stevie Nicks fan and I’m just insulted and sad that you mangled Edge of Seventeen that badly and then credit it to a lowly member of a hair band. I watched an interview with Stevie once where she explained that song. The part about “I went searching for an answer up the stairs and down the hall… not to find an answer, just to hear the call…” was about the death of a family member (uncle I think) and how she was in the hospital room, and went searching for someone. Interesting stuff.

  227. I thought it was “wild wind blows” right up to the very second I read this post. Really.

  228. I’m still convinced that the AC/DC song “Thunderstruck” lyrics say thunder screw. Makes perfect sense in my head but my husband keeps telling me I’m wrong. He can sing what he wants and I will continue to sing thunder screw!

  229. Yesterday my daughter says:
    “I have that tune Selami Sesami stuck in my head”
    Turns out it was Tekalani Sesami which is an African version of Sesami street children’s tv show.

  230. My daddy’s lyric branfart makes me laugh, even still.

    Uriah Heep song lyric – save my life, going down for the last time

    Daddy’s Version – shave my wife, I’m going down for the last time.


  231. Yeah, I’ve screwed up song lyrics like that too. The Alanis Morisette song “You Oughta Know” I used to think that the words were “It’s not fair to deny me/of the cross-eyed bear that you gave to me.” I thought it meant that the guy she was singing about (Uncle Joey from Full House, really?!?!?!?!?) won her a teddy bear at the carnival but it was cross-eyed and she should have seen that as an omen of their doomed relationship.
    But the real questions was, what were my parents thinking letting a 12 year-old listen to that album?!?!

  232. Thats hilarious ,Brandi..but it’s Head East,not Uriah Heep i’m pretty sure that sings the song.

  233. wait, wait. it’s not “just like the wild winds blow?” yes, it is…that’s what i’ve been singing for the past twenty years.

    on a similar note, my daughter violet keeps telling me i’m gaga-ing all wrong.


  234. I’m sure you can appreciate this one. I once thought that Manfred Mann’s song, “Blinded by the Light” which goes…”Blinded by the light…revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night.” was actually “Blinded by the light…wrapped up like a douche…” I sang it that way…often…loudly… and, now that I think of it, I think my version is better. What do you think?

  235. I am embarrassed to even post this, but I thought it was “just like the one-winged dove” and now my husband flaps around with one arm going “Whoo, whoo, whoooo” to make fun of me.

  236. My little sister used to sing ( loudly) “just call me Asian in the morning, Asian” instead of Angel. And I always thought Rocking the casbah was rocking the cash bar, and they were singing about getting drunk.

  237. The Garth Brooks song ” Shameless ” one day caught hubby in the bathroom radio blasting and he’s singing very loudly. ” I’m Shaving “. I lost it right there and just about peed myself. He swore for years that’s what the song was.

  238. I used to belt out TLC’s “don’t go Jason Waterfalls” until one day my husband gave me the strangest look and asked what I just said…apparently it’s “don’t go chasing waterfalls”. Who knew! LOL
    Also, ACDC’s song Dirty Deeds will always be “dirty deeds and the Dunder Chief” Clearly lyrics aren’t my strong suite…

  239. I used to think that song “We are the World” was called “Do Me Hard in the Chocolate Starfish.” Boy did I screw that one up!

  240. I totally thought of this today, when we were on our way home from school and my daughter was singing along to Arlandria by the Foo Fighters ” You annoy me, I’m angrier, I’m angrier, I’m angrier”

  241. My husband busted me singing “cannonball” to the tune of Panama. It went a little like this “Cannonball! Cannonball-all-all-all-all-all. CANNONBALL!” He’s a music buff and still married me.

  242. I have been fighting virus after bloody fucking virus the last few months. Got to love motherhood. Those loves… they just give and give and give! As a result, I have missed my Bloggess fix in the worst way. You can only imagine my excitement when I wiped the dust of my poorly neglected laptop and logged on to see what I had missed. Couldn’t get passed page two! Twine? Boitano? Squirrel phone? I laughed so hard, I vomitted and found myself back in bed with a migraine. Shit. Well worth it though. Thamks. I think.

  243. My bestie in high school caught me singing “tape” to Mister, Mister’s “Broken Wings” instead of “take these broken wings”. I had a staunch belief I was correct too (mostly because it makes more sense…duh).

    P.S. I also love that I just fucking hit the back key on my phone and theoretically lost my comment, but hit forward and it was still here, and I thank you for that.

  244. When it first came out, I had to ask my kid what the lyrics were to Macy Grey’s “I Try”. I knew it could not possibly be “I wear bubbles when you are not here”, which is what I thought I was hearing. Found out that it was “My world crumbles when you are not here” and it made so much more sense.

  245. I always think she sings “Just like the white ranger”…or at least that’s what I sing.

  246. My wife just sent me this. Hilarious…when my wife and I first started dating, we were driving in the car and she (in her tone deaf way) was belting out “Just like the world we know, sings a song sounds like she’s singin'” and I died laughing. She asked what was so funny and I told her the correct lyrics and she told me I had no idea what I was talking about. I asked her how her words made any sense at all…she finally relented. To this day we still sing this song “Just like the world we know”!!!

  247. Ok so I know this was well over a year ago but I used to mess up the lyrics to this song too! I always thought it was “the one winged dove” and I thought we’ll no wonder it sings so morosely IT ONLY HAS ONE WING!!!

  248. Argh, I know this well. I’ve heard this (very good) 70s-80s song with a refrain that I’ve interpreted as either “turning up the song” “turning up the sun”, “jumping off the sun” or something that isn’t the real meaning (I’ve looked it up and checked). Driving me crazy trying to figure the real truth out.

  249. This excellent website definitely has all of the information I
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  250. I always mishear the lyrics to “Rabbit Heart.” I think the lyrics are “who is the llama and who is the lice” when really it’s “who is the lamb and who is the knife.” But honestly, it’s already unpleasant to have lice, without the added trouble of having hair all over your body and no way to get the lice out. And, on top of that, no one can ever remember if you’re a llama or an alpaca. There is no difference! NO MATTER WHAT WIKIPEDIA SAYS!

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