BUY MY BIRDFEEDERS

in Let's Pretend This Never Happened, Random Crap

On March 4th the paperback version of my book comes out.  It’s cheaper than the hardback and it has an extra chapter – which seems sort of unfair to those of you who bought the hardback – but on the plus side, you can buy the paperback, read the extra chapter (and the book club questions) and then give it to your fucked-up friend who probably needs it, or just leave it on the plane for the next unsuspecting passenger.

EVERYONE WINS.

The book comes out in a few weeks and you can order it now at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, BooksAMillion, Target, IndieBound and more.

As I understand it, the new chapter is only in the American (checking on Canada now) paperback version so far but as a thank-you to everyone who has read the book or who plans on buying the paperback (THANK YOU!) I’m randomly giving away a bunch of Bloggess Geek-a-Week trading cards signed by me that you can use as bookmarks.  Just leave a comment and I’ll contact you if you win.

Also, in case you missed it, I’m going back on tour.  Last time I was on tour I got a brain in a jar and someone left a kitten on my table and we all had to be really quiet so that we wouldn’t wake it up (the kitten…not the brain).  Also, I gave a reading to several people in the Costco parking lot.  It was pretty glamorous.  You should come.  Seriously.  Please.  Don’t make me do this alone.

The Tour So Far:

March 5 ~ Paramus, NJ Barnes & Noble, 7pm

March 6 ~ NYC, Upper West Side Barnes & Noble, 7pm

March 7 ~ Chicago, Anderson’s Bookshop, 7pm

March 8 ~ St. Louis, MO, Left Banks Books “Drink Out”, 7pm

March 18 ~ Louisville, KY Barnes & Noble, 7pm

March 19 ~ Dayton, OH Books & Co., 7pm

March 20 ~ Cincinnati, OH Joseph-Beth Booksellers, 7pm

March 21 ~ Kansas City, MO, Rainy Day Books, 7pm

April 1 ~ San Francisco, CA, Books Inc. (in the Marina), 7pm

April 2 ~ Danville, CA Rakestraw, 7pm

April 3 ~ San Jose, CA Barnes & Noble, 7pm

April 4 ~ Phoenix, AZ Barnes & Noble, 7pm

PS.  Thank you.  Seriously.  Thank you to every single one of you who supported the book, told others about it, bought it for friends, asked for it at your library, shoplifted it, etc.  Because of your support the book has been made available around the world and I’m still getting emails from people whose lives were changed when they realized they weren’t alone in thinking they were a strange misfit.  None of this would have happened without you.  Thank you.

UPDATED:  15 winners have been notified, but I’ll be bringing a big stack of these cards with me on tour to give out as long as they last.  Please come see me?

1,073 thoughts on “BUY MY BIRDFEEDERS”

Read comments below or add one.

  2. YAY Paperback! I like the idea of leaving it for an unsuspecting…i mean the next person on the plane or train.

  9. There is this little place called Europe….can u be kind and come for a tour here?
    Got your book and you got at least 3 fans here.

  10. I saw you on your “hardcover” tour in NJ. (With Rosie O’Donnell) I would love a bookmark!

  12. Best bookmark ever. I’ve already re-purchased the paperback so that I can meet you in person at your signing. Yay!

  13. Geek-a-Week trading cards!!!!

    I still need to send one of the previous cards to my friend in AK, so she can get it signed for me by Marian Call herself.

    Did I mention I really really want one, even if maybe I already have this whole set already?

    Please

  16. I am just so excited you are coming to Cincinnati!!! I have the book on Kindle but will of course be buying the paperback version (extra chapter? Hells yeah!!)

    The only question left is what sort of odd thing can I give to you when you’re here…

  17. I’ve started telling people that I’m you, since you’re never anywhere near me when you are touring. So we’ve never been seen together, I’m the Clark Kent to your Superman.

  18. Yesssssss bookmark cards!! I bought my book way back when and have a signed bookplate, so these would add to my creepy Bloggess shrine.

  19. Jenny! Congrats on the paperback! I bought the hardback 🙁 (JK!) Much luck and have fun (?) at your readings!

  20. I loved it! I read it on my Kindle and laughed so hard before going to sleep the bed would shake and my husband would eye me suspiciously. When I would try to explain what was so funny, it never translated quite right. Finally, he got around to it and then I was the one annoyed by the bed jiggling. Bet you never thought of your book as a bed jiggler! Thanks for your honest and funny writing. I see myself reading it again down the road and discovering new things that I can connect to.

  21. I hope it is in the Canadian edition! And I wish you would come on tour to Canada. You should come to Saskatoon. We are the fastest growing city in Canada and Marilyn Manson puked and collapsed here. We’re special.

  22. I’ve read the book and got others to read the book. Will even try to make it to one of your signings as I have reserved the paperback immediately upon knowing it will be released.

  24. I bought the hardcover because I wanted an in-person one, but also bought the Kindle because sometimes I’m too lazy to hold open a book.
    And sometimes because I needed a free hand to stop the pee from coming out.

  25. I still haven’t gotten to read your book. A friend bought it for me for Christmas, but when she mailed it, it was stolen out of the mail. So I await the opportunity to read it. Maybe now that it’s coming out paperback I can eventually afford it.

  28. Oh and PS, I am totally buying the paperback, even though I already own it the hardcover and the Kindle version, because I am a book hoarder.

  31. I would love to win because I’ve always had card envy of my husband, whose mother never threw out any of his stuff. He still has his baseball cards. I’d love to win your cards, because I’d feel as awesome as he does then. 😉

  32. Most definitely going to get the new book. Probably going to read the chapter, then leave it in a public bathroom for the enjoyment of others. Probably a target bathroom, because im afraid walmarts a bit too illiterate.

    Also, you need to come to utah. I promise you wont go home a sister wife, unless youre into stuff like that.

  33. Oo! Please may I win because my Wnglish husband is convinced I’m you in disguise in London, and since I can’t get your new paperback here (hardback copy nearly destroyed with love already) I think these cards to let me read your book again whole I wait patiently for the UK to catch up is more than fair. Pleeeaasse?! Smooches!

  35. You should make the extra chapter available as a mini e-book 🙂 I’d totally buy that shit!

  37. Would love a bookmark. Already have it on hardback, ordered it on paperback for the Kansas City signing.

  38. I just finished your book last night. Had to stay up till 1 am because there was just no good stopping point. Wish you could come up to Canada for your book tour, I’d love to meet you.

  40. Having your trading cards would help make up for the fact that my mom got rid of the Star Wars trading cards I had when I was a kid. I had a paper bag full of them in the garage! (And I ate all the gum even though it was disgusting.)

  41. okay, now I need to buy the paperback…or maybe like 6 copies…just so I can leave them in random places!

  42. The only way this book gets better is if you are the bookmark. PICK MY NAME!!! 🙂 I would love this. As much as I love you, even. xoxo

  43. Never laughed so hard reading a book… EVER! Of course then I felt guilty over laughing so hard reading a book. I even recommended your book to friends and I almost never do that. Congrats on your success. I know by being so open and honest about your life you have helped countless people through theirs.

  44. Damn you marketing type ppls for adding something new to the paperback! *giggles*

    I <3 your card so hard! My Sonic hair dryer…

    Also I give what's the birdfeeder? I could only think of rat race and the squirrel lady… I don't know why.

  45. I will definitely have to buy the paperback, too, ’cause NEW CHAPTER! BOOK CLUB QUESTIONS! WOO!!!!

  46. Miffed once again that somehow New Zealand has been omitted from your book tour itinerary. Something we said?

  47. I am so looking forward to this. You, through both the blog and the book, have made me feel like a misfit who actually belongs. My family isn’t all that pleased with the new found interest on odd taxidermy though. (Did you know AMC has a show on competitive taxidermy? I’ve got to check it out.)

  48. I could use your trading card as a bookmark for my Bible. Because you’re just like Mother Teresa, only better.

  50. I might be that asshole who just reads the extra chapter in the bookstore. Ok, probably not. #probably

  52. You’re kidding me! Those cards are awesome!!

    By the way, I love the idea of leaving one somewhere for someone to find. Since I’m getting two new ones (I’m attending two book signings…) I may consider doing that. Or maybe I’ll give to someone I know. I don’t know. I have to think about it first.

  53. My iPod on shuffle at a recent dinner party belting out your request for a Harry Potter lightning bolt scar on your v-jay-jay sandwiched between some Les Mis and some Barry Manilow? Priceless.

  54. My iPod on shuffle at a recent dinner party belting out your request for a Harry Potter lightning bolt scar on your v-jay-jay sandwiched between some Les Mis and some Barry Manilow? Priceless.

  56. Winning would sorta start to make up for the fact that your book tour brought you nowhere near Dayton, OH. Sorta.

  59. I’ve already bought your book 3 times in hardback. What’s one more in paperback for the extra chapter? 🙂

  61. I paid two dollars for the first edition of your book; okay, technically I checked it out from the library and just racked up a bunch of overdue fines, the profits of which I’m assuming you never saw, so I’ll have to make up for it by buying the paperback now. (My bookshelves have become hardback-intolerant.)

  62. I feel as if the Birdfeeders reference is some elaborate joke or play on words.. and I’m completely not in the know. I even Googled it, and all I got was a whole bunch of “keep squirrels out of your birdfeeders’ articles… Which got me thinking: Why do we choose to feed birds and not squirrels? Who came up with this idea? Are the squirrels not hungry in the winter as well? What did the squirrels ever do to us?

    (Ha! It’s a really obscure reference to a Sifl & Olly episode. ~ Jenny)

  63. I need geek cards in my life! I NEED THEM! So please notify me as to whomever wins them (if it is not me), and I shall promptly go and steal them.. or you could ya know.. just give them to me and cut out the middle man? That’d be appreciated. 🙂

  64. It is really awesome that your book has been made available around the world. That’s quite an accomplishment. I’m probably going to buy the book… now. Or. One of these days. I’m going to buy it. Soon.

  66. I re-read your book anytime I need a laugh or reminder that no matter how crappy things are, they’re still funny as hell too. I’ve always been a misfit in my own mind, but never cared. Because I’m also a ROCKSTAR. Just like you, and just like everyone else.

  68. I need to buy the paperback, so I have a book I can let my sisters and family borrow. Hubby and I are still re-reading random chapters from the hardcover edition. It’s the kind of book you just don’t tire off 😀
    If you send those cards all the way across the big pond, I hope to win one 🙂 *crossing fingers like crazy*

  70. In here for the Geek-a-Week trading cards! Loved your book – recommend it to every book club that asks for recs. Because- we owe it to ourselves to read the book!

  71. My husband is just going to LOVE that I’m buying this book for the…5th time, lol. Oh well, he’ll get over it just like the 3rd metal chicken I brought home…

  73. I love the hard cover book, you signed it for me last year when you were in MA. thank you! My friends family and husband tell me I’m like you when I’m not taking my ADHD medication 🙂 Can’t wait to read the new chapter!

  78. Hmmm.

    I’ll buy the paperback, but I’m annoyed with Anderson’s in Naperville (aka the “Chicago” signing).

    I already have the hardcover and don’t want another copy. It’s even signed! And they don’t have the paperback for sale yet, so I can’t get a ticket to the reading. Wtf.

    Apparently I can come and listen, but not say hi.

    I may be approaching you in the parking lot to have you sign my paperback copy (once I get it). You’ve met me twice already (big red dress at Chicago public library in July), so that won’t be totally awkward, right?

    (Find me in the parking lot. Not a problem. `Jenny)

  79. I LOVE the book, and actually may have to get the paperback just for the extra chapter (and because then I’ll have a copy that I’m willing to let friends borrow).

    I also got the Geek a Week cards – If I win a signed card, I’ll send you my unsigned card so you can send another one out!

  80. I get all excited every time I go into my local book store in South Africa and see your books, I’m the weird chick trying to get a decent photo of them.

  81. Awesome! I bought the audio because I drive A Lot..and the I read the extra chapter from the hardcover at the book store …but I planning on buying the ebook so I can see all of the pics! Will it have the new chapter or should I just get the print version??

  84. If this is a repeat comment, I’m not really trying to stack the deck (HA, pun sort of intended) so that I win one of your trading cards but I wasn’t sure if my last comment posted and my computer is running really slow so it’s hard to see if I have a comment already so, to be on the safe side….

    I would really love your trading card! I bought your book on Nook but the pictures were really hard to see so I’m glad I have a reason to buy it twice! You’re awesome… hope to see you in Phoenix.

  85. I read parts of the book to my mom while she’s cooking….it’s how we “bond.” Except she ends up laughing so hard that flour ends up everywhere. The paperback will be perfect for her to read when she drinks her wine, but then I’m afraid the book will end up looking like the weapon used in blunt force trauma.

  86. I have hardcover version with your signature when you came to Portland Powells, kindle version, bought few for my parents and friends, and would love to have your softcover also. Pick me.. pick mee ….

  87. Oh…..pick me! pick me!
    I’m buying the paperback version and can’t wait to read it all over again……mainly to quiet down the new voice in my head…..she’s pissed she wasn’t around when I read it the first time……..

  88. There’s no way I’d hide one of those trading cards in a closed book! I’d display it prominently in my office! 🙂

  89. Was hoping you’d hit up an area close to home… No ATX or SA! I’m in SM, so I’d have tried to hit either one!

  90. My husband just asked me why it is that I have 3 copies of the book and the audio version and now need the paperback version. I told him because… he should go f’ himself. It’s so hard to keep these people in line.

  91. OMG! Trading cards!?!?

    I saw you in Annapolis, MD (also loved your renaming of MD for Neil Patrick Harris, thank you) and you made my year!

  92. Adding any more tour dates? I’d gladly come hear you scream ‘i have DIARRHEA’ again.

    That’d never get old.

  93. If my mom can’t find my hardback copy, she’s going to insist on buying me a new copy. I think I’m going to insist that she buy the paperback so I can have the extra chapter!! Then I can go to St. Louis and get you to sign it! Double win!! 😀

  94. No, silly. None of this would have happened without YOU. And, um, if we take a picture with our hardback, or we live in Canada (as some of us might be soon), will you send us a PDF of the last chapter? I don’t want to have to shop lift again!! 🙂

  96. I just bought my second copy of your book, and will be buying a third when the paperback comes out. Even if only for the extra chapter. Your hilarious honesty in both your book and your blog help me get through my tough times with a little smile. My grandmother is in ICU as we speak and this is one of the hardest weeks, but I am finding comfort in re-reading about Beyoncé.

    Thank you.

  99. I much prefer paperback to hardback, easier to tote around and easier to read in any position!

  100. I’m pretty sure I NEED the trading cards. And I have my fingers crossed that you add more tour dates, particularly near me!

  101. Yay for paperback, hopefully you will make it out to Florida so that I can get both of my copies signed. (I bought it for myself for Mother’s Day last year and someone else bought it for me for my birthday.)

  102. You know, I checked out your book from the library because I have a cheapskate living in my head saying “HOW DARE YOU SPEND MONEY ON THINGS!!!!!” (Hi, Mom!) and now I’m glad because I can buy this copy guilt free and with a free chapter on top 🙂

    Your book IS amazing, and I remember reading it in a hotel on vacation and being glad I was in another city because I alternated sobbing my eyes out and laughing with clearly psychotic glee.

  107. I hope I’m the next lucky person that gets on the plane and find a copy of your paperback in my little seat pocket next to my barf bag.

  109. Wow, those trading cards are awesome! Please sign me up for the drawing! How many times can I repost this?

    Also, I see that I am going to have to buy the paperback as well, darn it! Will there ever be a hardback w/ the extra chapter?

  111. I’ll have to get the paperback from the library. I have the hardcover already, but I’d love to know about the secret chapter 🙂 And a geek a week card? Peeeeeease!

  112. This is the highlight of my motivation for the day. I have expended all of my energy on you. Because you’re awesome!

  114. The Bloggess card would make a great bookmark, or… I could add it to my Cards Against Humanity set! And perhaps the cards could figure out how to procreate and create little twisted, geeky, Bloggess/CAH offspring!

  116. You know, I checked out your book from the library because I have a cheapskate living in my head saying “HOW DARE YOU SPEND MONEY ON THINGS!!!!!” (Hi, Mom!) and now I’m glad because I can buy this copy guilt free and with a free chapter on top 🙂

    Your book IS amazing, and I remember reading it in a hotel on vacation and being glad I was in another city because I alternated sobbing my eyes out and laughing with clearly psychotic glee.

    Also one of the reviews on Amazon has the like “am I chuckling at someone who may legitimately be insane?” And the answer is, of course, sure. But then, I’m pretty sure most of us here can be legitimately considered insane 56% of the time and really, that’s all that matters.

  117. Omg…I can’t tell you how much I need those cards! So much so that I am leaving a comment before crawling back into my hermit hole!

  118. You’re welcome. And thank YOU. I’m hoping that if I hang out at enough of your book signings/readings, you’ll come have coffee or go for a nice walk with me. A girl can dream.

  119. Oh yes! I would definitely love to own the cards. I could put them with my Van Helsing chick button and my Jean Louis the alligator pirate cutout.

  121. Is the extra chapter the same bonus chapter from the audio book?

    (Nope. It’s a totally different one. ~ Jenny)

  122. I helped crowd fund these Geek a Week cards because you were going to be on one of them. I’d love to have a signed one!

  123. I live in Canada. It’s cold here and there’s nothing to do but read. And make fun of celebrities, but that’s a pretty negative thing to do. Help me be more positive and send me some geeky trading cards, k? That would basically make you the Texan Dalai Lama. We both win.

  124. Once I move to a place that actually has a bookstore, I will most definitely buy it. I guess I could just take a road trip and get it, but I really need a reason to move anyway. 🙂

  125. A friend let me borrow her (autographed) hard copy of your book and I loved it! I will definitely be getting the paperback version for myself! Would love one of the cards! 🙂

  126. I love you! The cards are great! The book is great! You’re blog is awesome! I love exclamation points!

  127. I would totally LOVE to own one of the cards. And will most likely buy the paperback just to read the extra chapter eventhough I have the hardcover!

  128. So, is this a real chapter, or one of those like one paragraph chapters that isn’t really a chapter, but just a pretend chapter? 😉 Honestly, I loved the first edition so much, that I wouldn’t mind buying another copy, even if it’s just an extra sentence. Anything that supports me getting more enjoyment is totally worth it. 🙂

    I do have a real question… is the paperback edition with the extra chapter available as an ebook? I prefer reading on my Nook… so I’m just wondering if I need to get an actual physical copy or not. Of course, if I don’t have a hard copy, then I guess I wouldn’t need the bookmark… which I would like to have… hmmm.. problem solved!

    Thanks Jenny, for using your amazing problem solving skills to clear that up for me!

  130. I might just have to buy the paperback since I loaned my Hardcopy with the signed bookplate to my sister. AND I haven’t seen it in forever! I’ve been wanting to reread it again anyways… along with the 4 other books of mine she has.

  131. can you put the new chapter online, so that we hardback owners can read it….if not i will have to turn into a shoplifter

  132. so I totally already have the hardcover and the audio book and now I totally need to go get the paperback! please let there be the extra chapter in canada XD It’s the best pick-me-up book ever, you can’t help but laugh and feel like you aren’t alone in your weirdness <3

  135. I’m pretty sure it’s fate that your stop in Kansas City is during my spring break…SO EXCITED!

  136. I totally bought the hardcover and IMMEDIATELY gave it to my BFF when she moved bc i knew she needed it and i loved it so much i would have no problem buying it again. The whole extra chapter in the paperback tells me it was the smart move! Can’t wait!

  138. Just got my tix to KC stop of the tour…..cant wait…one of the very few books that make me laugh out loud !!!!

  139. The thing that sucks about the tour is that none of them say Texas. We’re not all crazy. Promise. I mean we are, but we’re all not THAT kind of crazy.

  141. DAMMMIT! I bought the hardcover and didn’t get no extra chapter! I think in lieu of the extra chapter I should get a sweet ass geek card! (That almost said sweet ass feel card due to my asshole phone).

  143. I actually just lent my hardcover copy of your book to my son’s MT (Mobile Therapist) last week after he was having an exceptionally hard session. She had never heard of you before, which I thought was just the worst thing EVER and I had to immediately fix. She has the same awesome sense of humor as I do, so I knew that she’d love you. 😉 I can’t wait to find out what she thought of the book.

    Now I might have to buy a bunch of the paperback copies to give out as gifts… Maybe I can knit little tiny mice to give out with them?!

  147. So happy to see you’re coming back to the Phoenix area. I might have to buy a paperback just to get priority seating this time (as opposed to waiting 4 hours to get my book signed like last time) I’m sure my daughter would love a chance to get another picture with you.

    ooh! and… Pick Me! Pick Me!

  148. Can’t wait to meet you in St Louis. Your, the book (I will keep this and give my other copies away ) and DRINKS. What a great Friday night

  149. Can’t wait to meet you in St Louis. You, the book (I will keep this and give my other copies away ) and DRINKS. What a great Friday night

  150. I would love one! Also for you to tour Texas. And don’y worry there are plenty of people who will just have to know what’s in the extra chapter like me. So I will end up with two copies of your book.

  151. I need a bookmark. I have to use my husband’s hand to keep my place for now and he’s gonna want that back soon.

  152. Bought the hard cover for a flight to California from Boston. Sat next to a sweet older lady who was super chatty… until I pulled out the book and she saw what was on the front cover. Conveniently, she was sitting on my left, so for the entire flight, she got to admire Hamlet von Schnitzel in all his glory. She didn’t say a word to me for the rest of the flight.

    She clearly thought I was crazy. She doesn’t know what she’s missing.

  154. Dear Jenny’s publisher,

    Please make the bonus chapter available for purchase separately for Kindle and whatnot. My husband already thinks I’m crazy because I bought the hardcover, Kindle, and audio editions … he might leave me if I told him I was buying the paperback. I would absolutely pay .99, 1.99, 2.99, even 3.99 for a digital copy of the bonus chapter that I could hide on my Kindle 🙂

  156. I’ve already given two copies of your book to friends; I’m happy to keep spreading the joy! 🙂

  157. I swear your blog hates me now. Everytime I comment it messes up. Anyways, i will most definitely be buying your paperback and rereading it 😉

  158. Because the hardback was awesome and a paper back with an extra chapter is sweet action! Now, I would love some signed trading cards” oh! And a pony.

  159. I’m kinda wondering if the new chapter is going to show up in the eBook versions as well – that’s how I bought it when the hardback came out.

    Any plans for an updated eBook? 🙂

  161. Bookmark?! That would be placed right next to my tiny Buddha statue. Because you two remind me so much of each other. Or, yah, possibly a bookmark.

  162. Excited to buy and send this to my mom, who also battles depression. She’s in need of some good laughs 🙂 Thanks for your hilarious stories and for helping those of us without depression understand it a bit more.

  163. Fabulous! I love the trading cards — so very clever! Can’t wait for your stop in Dayton, and I’m hoping to make it, but I don’t deal well with crowds so I might not . . .

  164. A NEW CHAPTER!? Good thing I am traveling to the USA in a few months so I can pick it up. But I plan to rip out the new chapter and keep it for myself. My fucked up friend can buy her OWN new chapter. xoxoxo

  166. Geek trading cards… look more interesting that all those sports trading cards I see.
    🙂

  167. I love your book. Whenever I’m feeling down, I read it for a laugh. I’ve recommended it to everyone I know, or have met, or have walked past. I should just carry around a sandwich board sign at this point.

  172. You can never have too many bookmarks!

    Will there be a second second tour that brings you back to LA?

  174. The cards look awesome!

    I totally bought the book in hardcover, read it and then while I was re-reading it visited a friend that I decided needed to read it, so I gave her my copy and went and bought another one so I could finish re-reading it, but the paperback has a new chapter…. I might have to buy a third copy. 🙂

  175. Your remember that part in your book where you talk about teachers assigning it for reading? Yeah, that’s me. I’m trying to get my administration to buy a classroom set….

  176. I love reading your blog and your book. I suffer from depression and severe anxiety too, and when I read your blog it shows me that it is possible to get through. Thank you for being such a wonderful role model. I am still on the look out for a giant metal chicken with which to traumatize my bf 🙂

  177. Thank you for writing such an amazing book that has me laughing so hard I’m in tears! I’d love to have an autographed card to go with my book (as soon as I get it back from the coworker I lent it to – I can’t stop sharing it with people!)

  179. I bought it for my dad for Christmas. Apparently, he spent the next week following my mom around the house reading passages to her.

  180. OK. I am a sailor– really. All good sailboats have TONS of book shelves. While mine is a work in progress (check out my blog: http://www.svoctopussy.com), I would love to have some geek-a-week trading cards to use as bookmarks in all of my books. Including yours.

    And just think of the entertainment value… I mean, on a sailboat we don’t get cable (although we do get Netflix — and with it, access to the first several seasons of Dr. Who!)

    And, anyone who can make references to Sylvia Plath in a post about taxidermied shit rocks!

    Send me some of your cards! Don’t make me beg (although I am not above that).

    Cheers,
    Octopussy
    S/V Octopussy

  181. I have your book on my Kindle. Most things I archive after I read them but I keep your book at the top for when I need a pick me up or a giggle 🙂 I plan on buying several copies of the paper back for gifts 😛

  182. Missed you the last time you were in NYC. I won’t screw up this time. Knock ’em dead.

  183. I want I want!
    Also I bought the digital copy (and four hard copies you signed for me for my family, thanks!) and registered to get a signed nameplate, but all I got was an empty envelope from The Penguin Group. Took me forever to figure out what that was about, then I remembered who they were.

  184. My mom and sister have read your book because of me influencing them. :] I wish you were coming back to Colorado, so I could go see you again (I saw you when you were in Denver in August. It was the day I broke my foot. I will remember it for two reasons).

  185. I MUST own both the hardback and the paperback!! Now that I think about it I also need it on my kindle. Hmmmm… I may need to get a job to pay for all of them!

  186. I will miss being at the kansas city signing by 12 hours. American airlines refused to delay my flight for you. Said you were not famous like Beoncye…i so disagree

  189. I will need to buy the paperback for the extra chapter. I am sure it will be worth it, especially because I have the electronic version, which cannot be lended, but will be able to lend the paperback! I so hope the new chapter includes taxidermy.

  190. I love the hardback and actually left it sitting on a bench in hopes that someone will get to enjoy it as I’m buying the paper back (I want the new chapter all to myself). Xoxoxo luna

  197. Is the extra chapter the same as the extra chapter in the audiobook? I bought the hardback and the audiobook… just curious!

    Wish you were coming to central Virginia on your tour. I would love to meet you.

    I love the Geek-a-Week cards. What a neat idea to give them as a prize!!!

    (Nope. It’s a brand new one. 🙂 ~ Jenny)

  200. My baseball team all got our own (very nerdy) trading cards when I was 10. I’ll trade you cards.

  203. I have to read the last new chapter so of course I will buy the book. And I would LOVE to have your play cards as bookmarks. Love you Jenny.

  205. I’m new to your blog! I heard you were kind of awesome. I think I heard right 🙂
    P.S. I so want to read this book!

  207. I would like to win. Please.
    I also want to absorb this extra chapter without having to actually read it. Reading is hard.
    Someone make that happen.

  210. Jenny,

    I listen to my books vs reading them. Are they going to release the extra chapter in Audio? Loved hearing your voice each day on my commute (1 hour one way….) You just made that hour seem to fly by….. Or maybe it was because I do drive a little beyond the posted speed limit….. just a little.

  211. I actually work with someone whose father has pet turkeys – none of them are named Jenkins – but her story reminded me of your book. Those turkeys must have been more well-behaved than your Dad’s because she actually picks hers up and hugs them. Anyway – it would be cool to win! Our book club read your book this past month and we all love it!!!

  214. Congratulations on your success with the book. It’s great and it’s nice to see someone deserving getting the attention and praise. Love to read your blog… always makes me laugh (usually out loud at the most inappropriate times, which are the best times). 🙂

  215. No visits to Oklahoma, eh? Texans. Jeez. I promise you we’re all fucked up and anxiety ridden here too.

    I’d adore the trading cards. I ‘m a daily checker-inner with you and Jen @ Cakewrecks.

    -MamaRama

  216. So want a trading card!! And will see you in April in San Jose!! SO. EXCITED. (and so is Fred, our rainbow-coloured caterpillar who you met in SF last year. i think it was the highlight of his year.)

  218. I already have the hard copy but I know several people who need your book in their life. I’m thinking awesome Easter gift since it’ll miss valentines day. The trading card does make the perfect bookmark.

  220. Ha! I’ll buy the paperback just for the new chapter and then give the Hardback to random people. Basically the same thing I’m already doing right now anyway. 🙂
    But: I think you should definitely send me one of the trading cards. Not for me. For my shrink. Who’s awesome! She ordered Beyonce in the Spring of LAST YEAR and still hasn’t gotten her/it. So I think she deserves a card. If I knew her address you could send it to her directly. She’d be thrilled. It’s a poor substitute for Beyonce but since I doubt you’d sign and ship her… a card might do.
    Think about it! I heard her recommend your book to another patient recently. She’s totally your anonymous PR person! And she needs some fairy dust! She was jealous of mine 😉
    Greetings from the South!

  222. Ooh ooh ooh! Trading Cards! Can’t wait to see you in Phoenix again! And this trip should be haboob free for you. 😉

  225. Jenny, I just re-read your book for the third time. I laugh just as hard and just as often as I did the first time. Thank you for the laughs!

  227. I’ll have to buy it to read the bonus chapter. I wish I could see you on tour! I’ve made my husband read your book in hopes of him understanding my anxiety more. He loves you now too!

  228. If the new chapter is included in the UK version I’m going to go to Waterstones and read the new chapter. I can’t afford to buy it all over again, sorry.

  229. Ordering the paperback – had two copies of the hardback so gave one to my sister – REALLY want to get the audio book just to hear you read it!
    Geek-a-Week? – sure put me in the hat.

  231. I have your book. Can’t wait to read it!! Hoping maybe one day you’ll pass through Tuscaloosa, AL for a book tour stop, too!

  232. Congratulations on the success of your book. I pre-ordered the paperback just to read the new chapter. My husband is going to wonder why I need to order the same book twice, but hey…at least it’s not towels!

  234. Love you, love the book, and I cannot tell you how often we refer back to Beyonce … the chicken of course not the singer…. Thanks for being you Jenny! Oh and I would seriously love if picked me for a book mark of awesomeness card. 🙂

  235. So, does the e-reader version have the extra chapter? I haven’t read it yet but it’s on my iPad, ready to go.

    Would love the trading cards.

  237. I read your book and could not believe how much we have in common (both Czech, from Texas, have crazy fathers who scarred our psyches with dead animals, hilarious sisters who share our adolescent scars, severe anxiety disorder, the list could go on.) I think winning an autographed card would be really cool. But it would have to say “Jak se mas” on it. 🙂

  240. Your book sits on the bookshelves with all of the other literary classics. You have encouraged our family to talk about things we wouldn’t have, before reading your book! Keep calm in this crazy world and carry on! Very cool cards, we need bookmarks – please send!

  241. It’s great when you can write a brilliant love letter to the crazy life you’ve led so far, inspire others, please editors, manager, agents and other corporate ilk AND make millions, right?
    Everyone wins, indeed.
    Great job, Jenny.

  242. I recommend this to my “crazy” friends as a reward and incentive. Best book ever.

  244. I’d love to get the paperback and read the new chapter, but I may not be able to afford it. Maybe I’ll buy it, read the new chapter, and donate it to the library. Justification is a beautiful thing : )

  245. Love those cards!

    Can’t wait to see you in San Jose! I bought the eBook so there’s not really anything to sign. I can bring you some wine though, or tequila – it’s your choice, really.

    Jen

  248. Please add Boston, MA to your book tour =) Also, I love your writing. It makes me laugh out loud and love that not everyone feels the need to pretend to be perfect, or cover up their real feelings.

  250. I would LOVE a trading card. And I can’t wait to see you in Dayton. I can point you toward the best bathrooms and therapists around the bookstore if necessary! Hugs from a fellow anxiety sufferer! 🙂

  251. Please update once you know about Canada! If I have to, I’ll “borrow” an American friend’s address, but I’d rather not wait if I can just pre-order it here. 🙂

  252. I’ll be buying the paperback! My hard cover sits in it’s special place on the shelf so that your signature doesn’t get tainted by my husband or kids so the paperback will give me opportunity to dog ear the pages like I want to (since my reading copy of the hardback, which I stole from my best friend, was absconded with by my sister, who is now a fan) Stay awesome!!!!

  253. I totally want a geek-a-week card! And now I have to buy the paperback for the chapter. Luckily I know someone who I want to read the book after:P

  255. You signed my baby (and a book), but I feel a strong need for that card. Also, you should come to Connecticut–or Rhode Island, I’d travel–and sign the infant again.

  257. Geek-A-Week rocks. You rock. Len Peralta rocks. Mavis Staples rocks. OK, I just threw in Mavis Staples as a non sequitur, and just to let you know that when I say “rocks”, I mean genuine rock-i-tude (on a level similar to Mavis Staples), and not some silly meaningless platitude I say to a lot of people. Although, I do say it to a lot of people.

    Be well and rock on.

  259. I missed your signing in Boston and the closest one this round is NYC. It unfortunately doesn’t work for me, but if it did I would make sure that you had something interesting and awkward to talk about for laters. Not like you don’t have plenty, but still. For funs!

  261. Oh.. I’d love a card! I’ve practically made a career out of never winning anything.. Here’s to hoping. 🙂

  262. My sister is raving about your book. She just gave it to my mom, and I plan on reading it too. Might have to buy the paperback book since I’m into travelling and will need light (literally) copies of books to amuse me!

  265. Well i am so buying a few copies of this then.One for me and two for random friends who will so love it.I already have the hardback but paperback with an extra is to much to say no too! ;0)

  266. I am so going to have to buy the paperback as a gift for someone, just so I can read the extra chapter. Fortunately, I know several people who desperately need a copy.

  267. Right off the bat, I see three of my fave geeks in that pic. Fingers crossed.

    And I may have to buy another copy just to give it to my BFF…

  268. It is such a great book, I recommend it to everyone I know. And if they don’t buy they may get it as a Birthday, Christmas, Anniversary, Valentine, St. Patrick’s Day, ect. Gifts.

  271. I splurged and bought the hardcover, but now that it’s coming out in paperback my bookclub is going to read it. They’ve been wanting to read it since it came out, but you know those book club rules: only paperbacks.

  272. I really think you need to start renting out Beyonce…I would love to have a giant metal chicken on my porch to greet my husband one day! Oh and I’d like to win something…maybe a pony 🙂

  273. I’m still not terribly happy that your “Kansas” stop isn’t really Kansas. Not that there’s much to do in the rest of Kansas.

  275. The book’s first on my list of post-most-useless-classes-ever reads. It should cheer me up immensely, as long as the phrase “ontological dignity” isn’t used. Then I may cry.

  277. OK, evidently my shameless pandering, promise to buy thirty (30!0 copies of the book, the fact that at least 3 of my co-workers have bought your book because of me, and the fact that one of my students is winning prose reading competitions all over Texas aren’t enough to persuade you to do a book signing in Austin, where I will but at least 3 more copies of the paperback (or maybe one hardback and two paperbacks, my mom deserves a hardback, but then she won’t get the extra chapter and I’m all conflicted).

    Just say it:
    * I, Jenny Lawson, The Bloggess do hereby confirm….oh what the hell, I am doing a book signing in Austin. There! I said it. Must go lie down now. Thanks.*

    *Shamelessly cut, pasted and deviously modified from a certain email….

  280. Could you please give us (or sell us) Canadians a copy of the new chapter. Maybe as an e-book. Assuming we don’t get it in the paperback version that is. I bought one of my best friends your book as her Christmas present. Love you lots.

  281. I would like to throw in my hat for these trading cards. :3

    Also, I heard somewhere that if one wants to see you on your tour, one must buy tickets. Is this true?

  282. I would love to use you as a bookmark! I would also love it if you could come to Vancouver, BC! Congrats on all your success and thank you for letting us weirdos feel good about letting it all hang out.

  284. I am currently scheming to attend the Louisville reading since 2 hours is not too far to drive to bask in your awesomeness. I mean Indy is just up the road, and it’s a bigger market and we totally love you here and you could have just as easily come here but it’s not like I’m bitter or anything 😉

    Oh, I would like a Geek card!

  285. I mean I would really love to be ON a geek card, but having your card is the next best thing!

  286. Will there be an ebook? And I really think you should visit Franklin, TN. That would be a wonderful excuse for a date night for my husband and me.

  288. Let me just first say, I am SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy you’re finally coming to San Jose! It’s in my calendar, and I’m counting down the days. But now I have to decide, do I just take the hardback to have you sign (which already has the signed nameplate), or buy the paperback, which has the bonus of an extra chapter, but not the durability of a hardback. Decisions, decisions…

  289. Loved the book! *fingers crossed* The cards look really cool. You should create an APS superhero one 🙂

  290. You best give those to me. I finally moved your book into my cart and the price had gone up! And it doesn’t even have the extra chapter! I cried for days.

  291. I am so excited to read the extra chapter to your book! I would love to visit you on tour, but you don’t have any TX dates. Sadness 🙁

  293. I discovered you a few months back and read your book about a month ago. It was wonderful to find someone who I could relate to on so many levels. I read your posts to my husband and his comment is normally, that sounds like something you would do. Thank you for being so open and honest for the rest of us don’t always feel so alone.

  294. I will need to get the paperback for the extra chapter 🙂 BF didn’t understand why I was both laughing hysterically and crying while reading your book – would love to get a Geek a Week bookmark.

    Thanks Jenny!

  295. I may have to buy a paper back copy of your book because I keep lending it the hard copy and now I don’t know where it is. So I hope the extra chapter is in the Canadian version as well! AND Geek A Week Trading Cards??! WANT!

  296. Can I just say thank you so much for writing this book. I have the hardcover and give it to everyone to read. You have made me laugh to tears. And there are too many things I see that remind me of you or I think are effed up enough that you’ll like. Keep more coming!!!

  297. I wish I could borrow the book from someone but, I’m the only person around me who reads this blog religiously. I’m in the process of trying to change that…

  298. I’m newly unemployed, so I can’t afford to get another copy at the moment. :-/ I have the e-book, but eventually want to get a hard copy. I love your book so much. My boyfriend and I quote it to each other all the time. Having the Geek-A-Week card as a bookmark for my eventual hardcopy, would be icing on the cake. 🙂

  299. I. Need. These. Otherwise, my anxiety will keep me up all night trying to guess who else is in the pack of cards and trying to figure out if I know all of them and wondering if that makes me sufficiently geeky while simultaneously telling me that it’s ridiculous for me to be so anxious about something that has nothing to do with anything but doesn’t it really?

  300. Can’t wait until you come to Cincinnati! My sister and I are stoked! I would love a trading card, because then it could mingle with my Doctor Who Trading cards, which I just happened upon in a book store like a month ago… I was EXTREMELY excited!

  301. Love the book! Have read it over and over again… causing my unsuspecting co-workers to wonder out loud what the hell i’m giggling at!

  304. Will my kindle update? I will totally re-buy if needed, but just wanted to check! Thanks for being you and making me laugh all the freaking time!! I would love a geek card that I could proudly display!

  306. Ooh! Will the extra special chapter be in the kindle edition?
    Love your blog… do you get tired of hearing that? I’ll be sitting at my desk reading it and a guffaw will suddenly explode from me. But it’s okay… they already think I’m nuts here.

  308. LOVELOVELOVE the book. Giggled myself silly over “CHALUPA!”
    Loaned it to my fiance. He finished (and loved) it and have now loaned it to my sister. I may have to buy the paperback so that I have a copy!
    Would love some Bloggess cards, but that’s not the important part. The important part is that you are wonderful and your book should be read by everyone! 🙂

  309. Have been waiting for the paperback forever 🙂

    Leaving a comment to enter because who wouldn’t want to be able to say ‘You need a favour? I’ve got the Bloggess in my pocket’, seriously!

  312. Paperback is pretty great, but I have the Kindle version so I can laugh like a maniac wherever I choose! Your book is beyond amazing!

  313. I’m in Tasmania (yes it exists as do Tasmanian Devils). I couldn’t find your book at the book store but I asked for it at the library and it was there already AND there was a wait! You are worldwide!

  314. Wish you were coming out to the Pacific Northwest for your book tour! Congrats for coming out in paperback!

  315. I adore your book. My best friend and I are planning on making your Chicago book signing (even though I live in Michigan.)
    Also, I recently got laid off before I could buy my best friend a nice Christmas present …so your trading cards would be a PRETTY AWESOME gift for her. Just sayin.

  316. I’m buying the paperback for my 15 year old daughter so she can share it with all of her friends and learn of the dangers of teen putting your arm up a cow’s vagina. You’re like an After School Special. So yes please on the trading card, though I’m not sure whether it’s for me or her. Does my answer affect my ability to get a card? Because that, whatever it is.

    Can’t wait to meet you in NYC!

  317. Any UK release date for the paperback/ extra chapter?

    True story: When I read your book, my mother was watching a very serious news show and I ended up having to leave the room because I was giggling so much!

  319. Love the bookmarks! If I win (uproarious laughing, followed by wheezing and coughing – I but rarely win), I will give the bookmark to my daughter who introduced me to TheBloggess and whom I gifted with the hardback. Thank you for all that you share.

  322. I’m gonna drive my pregnant ass an hour and a half to see you! By the way, I hope its okay with you if I have a baby in the library.

  325. I like to win! Am also looking forward to your paperback release as my sister bought it in hard back and moved to London with it before I was able to borrow it from her!

  328. I ever win anything and I don’t expect to for whining about but I wanted to comment… mostly I think you are awesome and I try to tell everyone I know about you…

  329. I absolutely LOVED your book! If you come back through Seattle I may have to buy the paperback just so I can have 2 signed copies. Though I may buy the paperback anyway. For the bonus chapter.

  330. I have an amazon gift card I’ve been holding on to since Christmas JUST for this. Yay!!!

  331. Like I could resist buying the paperback version. And extra chapter PLUS super portable. YAY.

    So excited for you, and all the people you’re going to meet on your paperback tour.

  334. I’d love cards, and more importantly I am looking forward to seeing you read in San Jose!

  335. *calls calls calls, calls from the public, calls calls calls, calls (thunk)*
    I have to admit, I own a copy of all of the Sifl and Olly shows.

  336. Ooo, me! I’ve bought two hardcover, the audiobook… *might* resist the paperback, we’ll see…

  337. Pick me pick me! I’m thinking yes for the paperback. Totally want to support you! 🙂

  338. Well, this time your signing in NYC is close enough for my son to walk as opposed to the long bus trip he undertook last time. I have sent him the schedule and since it’s near my birthday I think he will show up. I suggested he take some of his women friends this time so he doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb.
    Thanks for all the fun.

  340. You don’t have to put me in the drawing, I’m just disappointed that I am not able to get the bonus chapter because I bought the hardcover.

  341. Got my pre-order in…delivery March 5th…WooHoo!!!! I love your blog and you make me laugh so hard I pee my pants. Not a nice to to do to an old person…..

  342. I’ve only just started reading ‘Let’s Pretend…] (I received the hardcover for Christmas), and every time I giggle my husband wants to know what’s so funny, so I have to go back and read it to him out loud. Reading this way will probably mean it will take me twice as long as normal to get through your book, since I have to read it twice. Once to myself, and once out loud to my husband. Cheers.

  343. Let’s just both pretend I’m a regular commenter who usually contributes long & thoughtful responses to your posts & not just some bloke hoping for a Bloggess Geek-A-Week trading card. Deal? Deal. 🙂

    If it helps any, I did get your book and even attended one of your signings! You hugged me because my shirt said I was a Hug Ambassador. 🙂

  344. Tried to leave comment earlier, but the internets hate me… I want the new chapter! (And a signed card would be awesome too!)

  346. Me! Me me me! I would love a signed something I can use as a bookmark! (either that or I was just warming up for a solo or some sort)

  348. I love that Augusten Burroughs’ review is on the cover saying he read & enjoyed your book! It’s even better because you’re right next to him on my bookshelf… by you I mean your book and by him I mean 4 of his books.

  349. I found out about you through a friend of mine who said she heard about your book and it sounded as weird as me! I loved it and laughed out loud at it. Thank you for keeping me entertained.

  350. I LOVED the book, which I have for my kindle. Will have to get the paperback. Hope i win the trading cards!

  353. I can’t wait to see you on your tour! And even though I have it in hardcover, I definitely plan on buying the book in paperback. I NEED to read the new chapter!!

  356. Yeah – totally on board with the paperback copy! I “loaned” my hardback copy to a friend back in the summer (she was fighting breast cancer and I thought – hey – what better way to pass the time while you are tripping out on morphine than to read Jenny Lawson? You’ll be able to look back on it and think: “Wow. Did that really happen….or was I just that delusional?” heh heh) Anyway – Haven’t gotten the hardcopy back yet – I think it’s on a permanent loan. Maybe I can distract her with a paperback copy while I make a daring escape with the Hardback.

  357. Thank you for sharing your wonderful (Is that the right word? Oh well, sticking with it…) stories with us. Even re-reading for the upmteenth time, I snort in such an unprofessional manner that I get a seat alone on the bus! Thanks!!!

  359. I am definitely buying the paperback! I’m sooo poor, I’ve been waiting for it to come out! Thanks for the contest…and if you should find your way to Albuquerque, I for one would be excited!

  360. I bought the hardcover & audiobook for myself & pre-ordered the paperback for a friend’s birthday! So if I find one on a plane, I’m gonna be pissed.

  361. Thanks so much for the hours of awkward looks when I giggle out loud at work. It starts a LOT of awesome conversations.

  363. I am still sad that I never got to hear the audiobook extras, and now you tell me that you wrote another chapter, and IT’S ABOUT ME, and I have to buy another book to read it? Either send me a card, or come to Maryland to read to me. Gaithersburg was too far away last tour, and I had a thing, I’m sure you talk about it in the new chapter……

  364. I read your book. I loved your book. I made my husband read your book. He loved your book. I see your card. I would love to love your card. Pick me!

  366. I’m hoping to come see you on tour … I just have to find someone willing to go on a ten hour road trip … Which I’ve now done. So all that is left is getting over my anxiety … I hope to make it!

  368. I’m really looking forward to reading your book. I just recently discovered your blog and it really helped me just be more honest with who I am and not to be ashamed of things I had no control over. Just opening up on my blog has allowed others to open up to me. Turns out, I’m not alone! So thanks.

  370. So we can all be misplaced misfits together. I would love a new set of bookmarks. My Costco receipt is getting a little dog-eared.

    Kudos on going paperback!

  371. Ooooh. GaW cards. Woot!! Looking forward to the New Chapter. In case anyone else is wondering, Jenny is REALLY GOOD AT THIS, including the whole book tour thing. Truly. I’ve seen at least two best-selling authors at book signings, and The Bloggess wins at Book Tour hands down.

  372. I bought the e-book for my Kindle and a hardcover copy for my best friend as a birthday gift because I knew she’d love it (she did!) and now I have to buy the paperback 🙂 Unicorn Success Club FTW!

  373. Came to grab the link for this because I was talking it up all weekend at Capricon.
    Stayed for the trading card contest.

  374. Why do I always have to leave a comment? Can’t I just take one instead? New rule: if you leave a comment, take one with you to keep from disrupting the delicate balance. I’m gonna take comment #308 because: SASQUATCH! PS: I don’t get the obscure reference, but I have a feeling I’m not the only one who doesn’t understand how your mind works.

  376. I got it when it first came out, but heck, another copy would be just dandy. can’t wait!

  377. I spent one whole wonderful day reading your book in the laziest fashion. That means I was sprawled on the couch ignoring all responsibility while wishing we we’re real life friends.

  378. Imma buy the paperback and come to the reading in Portland that will be added to the tour. Obvi. Imma buy it in any format it comes out in. I’m pulling for a graphic novel next time.

  379. I bought the hardback instead of the kindle for the autographed plaque to stick in it. Then my little envelope came from Penguin Books and it was empty. So sad. But, really, the story of my life. 🙂 So, I’ll bite. Trading cards are cool, too.

  380. I love this book! I can’t wait for the paperback to come out so I can get copies for my friends. If we can’t be friends with you in real life, then we want to pretend we’re friends through the book. 🙂 I promise we’re not scary stalker types; we just love you.

  382. Oh bookmarks…I love bookmarks…

    I kind of hope they make the extra chapter available on e-readers or something. My bookshelves are full to the gills – including the hardcover of your book. *sigh* Plus rumor has it you have another coming out sometime…

  383. OMG, I am SO glad this is finally coming out in paperback because it was getting expensive buying copies for everyone I knew. This will be much cheaper!
    Though now I sort of feel I have to buy copies for everyone for whom I bought the original and then rip out the new chapter and give it to them with bookbinding tape so that they can tape it into their hardcover editions.
    Maybe this isn’t going to be the money saver I’d originally thought.

  385. Wooo free stuff! Also if i bought the kindle version of the book, is there a way of getting the new chapter? (Besides buying the paperback)

  386. Perhaps my e-book will magically update with the extra chapter.
    Perhaps Girl Scout Cookies will magically remove 50 pounds from my wasteline over night.

  387. “It’s a dirty story of a dirty man
    And his clinging wife doesn’t understand.
    Their son is working for the Daily Mail,
    It’s a steady job but he wants to be a paperback writer,
    Paperback writer.”

    This is what’s in the new chapter, no?

    Cool.

  388. Pretty sure I’ll be a two book owner. And it feels a little stalker-y, so I’ll probably give one of them to someone less fortunate. Like my HR director. 🙂

  389. YAY! paperback. I’ll keep my hardcover in a place of honor and carry the paperback with me. It won’t be long before it looks as well loved as the rest of the books that “make the cut” to go with me on my adventures.

  390. I’m familiar with about a third of the geeks on the cards. Not bad, but I could definitely use some extra education!

  394. Awesome cards! Looking forward to reading the paperback : D. I’ve discovered that for my health and well-being it’s best to read your book in bed surrounded by pillows, with no food or drink to choke or drown on. This is especially true of the audio book.

  397. Jenny,

    My partner and I loved your book so much we have bought it twice so far, and I am sure we will have to buy the paperback too for the extra chapter. You are an amazing woman and an inspiration to misfits, thanks to your book, around the world! Keep being the fabulous woman that is you!! We hope to meet you on your next tour if you make it to Portland, Oregon, again.

    With Love and Admiration – Mindy Hillman

  398. I’m so sad that you’re coming to KC and I live so far away, Would ever consider coming to Hurley, MO, which has nothing of any interest in it since the mill burned down, the two cafes and the feed store closed? I could meet you at the bottom of our driveway, give you big hugs, and send you on down the road to places where there are actually things besides meth addicts, churches and humping dogs. That seems fair, I think. 😉

  399. I hope that the new chapter is available in Canada. On a related note, you should come to Vancouver, BC on your next (and every!) tour!

  401. I used my mostly (not really) hard earned money to buy your book, taught myself how to read (just kidding, I already knew how), and ignored everybody the whole time I was reading it (this one is true). Your book was more fun than Christmas.

  403. I’m so glad I got the chance to meet you at your signing here in San Diego for your Hardcover tour. Yes, it is great to know that I’m not the only fucked up weirdo in the world!
    The geek cards look awesome; I can’t believe I haven’t seen them before!

    Now….. off to plan ways of stealing the extra chapter of the paperback…..

  404. I saw a preview for the show ‘Immortalized’ and immediately thought of you. It’s new to AMC, you should check it out.

  405. I just want to say that you’re book is fabulous! True it makes me feel like I am not the only weirded one out there. But the best enjoyment I got was reading to my husband to let him see that there is other crazy fmilies out there besides mine. Granted no bobcats (unless you count the hybrid one i rescueswhen I was little)t i do have an uncle shot by a dog and an aunt at was shot by the stove.

  408. Geek-a-week cards….Yes please
    I’m not trying to sway your decision here or anything but so far I have bought 3 copies of your book (sadly none with the extra chapter, we are way behind the times here in New Zealand so probably won’t get it for ages) and have another copy to buy for a birthday present.

  411. an extra chapter?! no fair! now i want the audio AND the paperback to add to the hardcover (which is still in residency on my nightstand nearly a year on — because it’s awesome, not because I’m an incredibly slow reader).

  412. As a purchaser of the hardback book, I was trying to think of creative ways to put the paperback to use once I’ve read the new chapter. My initials thoughts were: a bird’s nest, a handheld fan, a really unlevel table leveler, a one-time use mop? Then I decided to Google it and realized that I am really not creative. But whoever this is is:
    http://www.thenester.com/2011/09/20-ways-to-decorate-with-book-pages-and-other-things-about-the-book-party.html

  413. I received your book for Christmas. It was the only thing I asked for. My husband and daughter would look at me as I was reading it, because I would just start laughing out loud. Loved it…

  414. Oooo, oooo, I need one of those cards! And the paperback works out great since I gave my copy to my aunt for Christmas. Then, if you reissue a hardback with the extra chapter,I will get that one as back up for the paperback. And naturally, I will need the audio book for driving.

  415. These trading cards are fantastic. Loved the book, looking forward to getting the paperback. Cant wait to see you in Paramus!

  416. I think you should persuade the publisher that you have to personal visit Canada on the account of missing chapter. C’mon, what could be more conducive for book sales than retelling it live?

  419. I really, reall, REALLY need that Geek-a-Week “bookmark” for at least one of my copies of your book!

    REALLY.

    😉

  421. Definitely going to be buying the paperback. After reading the chapter, I’ll give it as a gift. The people I’ve given copies of the hardback to LOVE it!

  422. Yes! I’m pre-ordering several copies to give out as gifts. That way I don’t have to worry about getting my copy back when I lend it out 🙂

    And those cards are beyond awesome.

  425. I like your ideas about doubling up. (I have the hardback.) Just read a review by someone in Australia. You sure do get around.

  427. I have every other American version, so I need the paperback to complete my set, right?

  429. How I would love the card! I feel like it would make up for not skipping my last lab of the semester to go see you when you were here (keep in mind, I’m the instructor, not a student) and because you appear to not be coming back to San Antonio this time around!

  430. So, i bought the hard cover and loved it, but i think i am just going to go in the store and read the last chapter there. Win Win.

    Heather

  431. if ever you make it across the border to canada i will be the happiest strange misfit of all 😀

  432. I’d adore one of your geek-a-week cards…but I have to ask if Wil Wheaton has one in that deck?

  433. I hope the extra chapter is available in Canada too – we love us some Jenny too! Can’t wait for your next book 🙂

  436. Ooooh yes! I want one! PLEEEEEEEASE!! Plus, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you for coming to Cincinnati!!! Really, anywhere in Ohio — I would have traveled! I can’t wait to see you!!! And a bonus chapter, too??? YAY!!

  437. me please!

    I loved your book so much! My husband was very glad when I was done reading because my cackling laughter was keeping him awake.

    I also think our cats should marry, Jenny. Lily Mae and HST are made for each other! They both try to strangle us with love. They are also close in age and a bit “special”…Lily has OCD. But she’s lovey and beautiful and is Miss December on the SPCA’s calender this year.
    They won’t live together because I am NOT moving to Texas! They can skype each other.

  438. Huh…too broke to buy the paperback but I may cheat and read the extra chapter in the bookstore! Still loving my hardback copy!

  439. I think I deserve a Geek-a-Week trading card/book mark…..as I’ve given MANY copies of the hardcover to my suspecting friends (who are those that I send links to your blog to weekly), my unsuspecting friends, and my family members (who have long thought that OUR family was the oddest on earth. Clearly, we are only a close second….and I bow down graciously!) …..

    PS I went to our local independent bookseller last week to purchase 10 copies of the PB to sprinkle around, and was informed that I would just have to wait…..I’m such a horrible waiter, but I’m trying!

  441. Wish your book tour was coming to Alaska. But since the state tried to kill you on your last visit, I can understand why it didn’t make the list!

  442. Just a note to let you know that your blog brings me joy and a lot of laughs (and I follow you on twitter – so keep on tweeting!). You seem to be a crazy amazing person; you have a great attitude. Thank you. I haven’t read the book yet, but maybe I will now that it’s in paperback.

  443. Your book is amazing. You should come to Canada so I can come see you. I had to miss it last time because of stupid work… for some reason they expect me to attend if I want to get paid. bastards. I made my friend read your book, you are the coolest. Its unbelievably comforting to see someone else with similar conditions as me and accomplishing everything i want

  444. Pick me! Pick me!
    I’ve read your book, book clubbed your book, and read passages aloud to my husband and son so many times that they no longer cringe at the word vagina. Everybody wins. Love you. Thanks for your book and even more for your blog!

  445. So where does one get a ‘sonic hairdryer’ for their TARDIS (for that mater, where does one find a TARDIS?)

  447. I just bought the Kindle-version of your book. It was supposed to be my “pause book,” but that didn’t work out. You see, I am a Norwegian student studying English literature in England at the moment, and as I never even try to understand my own limits, I signed up for 4 literature modules this semester. 37 Novels in 12 weeks would normally be fine. One pause book (book to read in between studying) per 14 days – easy peasy… Then your book arrived.

    I’ve now pissed my flatmates off by laughing too hard, got told to leave the library once and completely neglected my studies. This led to a rather embarrassing discussion in class today, where I tried to argue that the main character’s caretaker was a vampire, while he was in fact a pedophile. I think even my teacher was impressed by the way I talked my way out of that one. Thanks <3!

  448. pick me please! I’ll even give your book as birthday presents for the next year!!! (not that i havent been doing that already…)

  449. Comment! Already have the book on kindle but might import it for the extra chapter, i know others that should read it anyway

  451. if you pick me to win the trading cards/bookmarks, i promise i’ll go out & buy the paperback!

    you know you could use any leftover trading cards as framed art in your haunted doll house, too.

  452. I’m sad you’re not touring near my town, but I can’t wait for the paperback version of your book! I had to check the hardback version out of the library and then circulate it around my family and friends. It was overdue, but my mom had to reread some of the earlier chapters. Apparently, they were ‘a lot like back home’. Looking at my grandparents in a whole new way…

  455. My sister and I both loved the book. Any idea if the new chapter will be updated to the kindle version???

    Otherwise, I will have to lurk in a bookstore hoping no one notices me reading it and then putting it back on the shelf.

  459. I definitely want the Geek-a-Week cards! I’m also a bit jealous that the paperback has an extra chapter. 🙂

  460. Trading cards you say?!?! Sign me up. I used to love to throw playing cards and hockey cards at the cats. Now, the munchkin is about to become the age where that will be fun for her too. They cats will love it as well. Woohoo!!!

  461. I’m lazy. Being lazy, I downloaded your book on my Kindle around four a.m. after having too much wine,while looking for something to do besides listen to my husband snore. Well, to be fair he might not have been snoring, but I imagine he was since he normally does. Anyhow, I never sleep (I am not on drugs, I just can’t sleep. I know, it sounds suspicious), so I downloaded your book and finished it that night. I think I should get an “A” for effort because I was also drunk. Drunk reading is HARD. Also, since I have no actual book and I live in Italy where I can’t buy your book and the postmen people STEAL EVERYTHING I can’t order it either. Well, actually, maybe if I could find someone to package the book in box of tampons, then maybe the bastards won’t take it. Anyhow, my point is that I could use the geek cards for other purposes that I’m not sure of yet, but could be after another bottle of wine.

  462. Show Seattle some love!!! Head this way on your tour (or at least throw a set of Geek-a-Week up this way maybe?!? No?!?!?)

  464. Oh! Cards! And yay paperback! Will definitely have to pick that puppy up when it’s out.

  466. Can I just buy the extra chapter, and attach it to my current copy like it was some kind of creature created by Frankenstein?

    Holy pickles, those trading cards look amazing. If you’d like, I could bribe you with pictures and/or stories of my adorable, ‘special’ kitty.

  467. I’m canadian I hope our version does have an extra chapter though I have my copy in he audio version I want to buy it for one of my messed up friends to read

  468. You mean I spent more money and I’m getting screwed out of laughs? That’s f’d up!

  469. Not sure what could be better than a geek of the week card featuring one of my web favorites.

  470. Awesomesauce!!!

    And you need to come closer to lower Alabama someday (pretty please with a taxidermied rodent on top)!

  471. YIPPEE…..I need bookmarks!
    And BTW….my husband also read your book (after I finished it) and his favorite word now is BASKETTI. Thanks, now it pops up all the time!
    Congrats to you…..you are a breath of fresh air, Jenny!

  472. Those cards are seriously awesome! I will probably buy a paperback copy of your book even though I already have the hardback. I musts have that extra chapter!

  473. Hell yes!! I want a card. I may even let you sit in my above ground tornado shelter, cleverly disguised as the TARDIS. Drinks will be served.

  474. Just LOVE YOU! I was given your book for Christmas and I have my teenage daughters reading it! They love it too! Every once in a while I will get a random text with a quote from your book 🙂 Love it! Thanks for your story!

  475. Cool Geek Cards! Yes Please.. OMG, Jenny. Did you see they have a new competitive taxidermy show coming on AMC called Immortalized?

  476. Ooooh…I already have a signed copy of your hardcover book, but…I probably need the paperback. Yep. Also, I need the sweet, sweet nerdy goodness of Geek-a-Week trading cards. They make me happy-laugh, as my husband says. 🙂 So fantastic!

  478. I love that you voiced the audiobook. You did a great job. Even though I had already read the hardback, hearing you read it made it so enjoyable. I can’t remember when I’ve laughed so hard. Can’t wait for the paperback with the bonus chapter. Would love the trading cards.

  479. OMG – love the Geek cards! Now i can replace the Bloggess stick puppet miniatures that I taped to my friend’s rear view mirror. Or just leave them and “vandalize” something else. Yay!

  480. Why is the title of this post “Buy My Birdfeeders” and there is no mention of birdfeeders in the post?!?!?!?!?!?!?! But I like prizes! 🙂 And birdfeeders.

  481. Oh, PLEASE sign me up for the geek giveaway! I am so psyched to get the paperback, as I missed you on your last tour. So I’m holding out hope that you make it to LA. Also, when you are here, you need to check out Clockwork Couture in Burbank, where they have a life-sized Tardis replica (sadly, not as big on the inside) sitting outside of their store. If you feel like just seeing it, you can sneak, take a picture and leave (no crowds to deal with!). If you feel a bit more adventurous, inside the store they have all kinds of steam punk jewelry and Victorian clothes. Kick ass.

    Also, I saw a plastic replica of James Garfield at Whimsic Alley in Hollywood. It’s a Harry Potter store (even has The Great Hall). But they also sell Dr. Who, Twilight, Hunger Games, LOTR and Hobbit stuff. And no, I make no money from telling you this.

  482. Just so you know, I ordered the Kindle version and so I am going to shoplift the paperback just to read the new chapter. Or maybe I will just read it in the bookstore and then leave a dollar in the back of the book I read from as compensation to the person that actually buys the book I use. I think that’s fair!

  487. If I buy another book-book, my house will collapse from the sheer weight of them all so will this super-new extra chapter be included on Kindle editions?

  488. You’ve probably heard, but just in case you haven’t, there is a new tv show starting this Thursday
    (Feb. 14) about taxidermists!
    Love your book; favorite part is the giant chicken at the front door.

  489. I loved the book. Even let my friend dead the 1st chapter on mykindke fire so she would get hooked on you & buy her own…..& she did. She is now a blogess reader & I’m getting her a t shirt for hrt birthday… thanks for being you!!!!!

  490. Well, I’m bummed about the extra chapter – and bummed that you’re not coming to MI. Bummer.

  491. Pick me!! Pick me!!! I bought your book on my kindle and didn’t get the extra chapter (throwing a temper tantrum) and NOT happy that San Antonio, Texas is not a stop on your tour (having another temper tantrum) Anyway, would love to get picked to use it as a bookmark, even though I wouldn’t need it for the kindle, so I will frame it instead, which is why you should pick me. -T

  492. Geek-a-Week? Hell yeah! I’m now glad that I haven’t gotten around to buying the book. Extra chapter! More Jenny!

  493. A) loving that you’re in Doctor mode on your trading card. That is epic.

    B) Since I bought the book on my e-reader when it came out, I’m just going to spend 10 minutes in Barnes and Noble reading the new chapter, laughing like a lunatic. In other words, my usual Saturday night.

  494. Love the bookmarks…and as my family gets me the pretty bookmarks every Christmas from Barnes and Noble that are metal and potentially a lethal weapon (turn a corner to quick and they fly out of the book) this would be awesome…and as a side note my son shot is first deer this year…the head is still in the garage as we have made a family project out of trying to preserve it…

  497. Loved it in Hardback and I will love it in paperback. And I have about 12 fucked up friends to pass it on to! Thanks for being transparent with your crazy so the rest of us don’t have to feel alone. XO

  498. Why in the fuck would you thank us?

    You’re the one who wrote that fabulous mother fucker. We should all be thanking you. It’s one of the best books I’ve ever read.

  499. Love the trading cards! Hopefully they will be on sale for us sad contest losers!

  500. Just yesterday I recommended this book to a friend! It’s funny every time. 🙂 I’ll be getting the paperback just for that chapter. That was some evil planning there…..

  501. Still wish you were coming closer to me, but I’ll settle for being able to afford the book. 🙂

  504. Stopped by Barnes & Noble and had them put an alert on my name so I’ll know when the paperback is in. I listened to the CD; it’s hard to drive when you’re out of breath from laughing. Just sayin’.

  505. I’m going to the KC book signing, where I will be getting one of your books! Do I get a card? 🙂

  507. No love for Philly makes me a sad panda 🙁 but I did add your book to my wishlist on Amazon and will be getting the paperback version much lighter to transport in my purse

  508. LOVE your book! I read it for book club…yeah I have a lot of effed-up friends, go figure. I also teach 8th grade, so your particular brand of effed-up humor is just what I need on a frequent basis. Oh, and I shared it with other middle school teachers, so today’s youth probably doesn’t stand a chance with us teaching them…

  510. Oooh, awesome cards! Also, I bought your paperback in England and it totally hasn’t got any new chapters. Which you just said it wouldn’t have. But still. You know. No. Okay. Coffee?

  511. I’d say I forgive you for not coming to Vermont but I never expected you would in the first place so I was never upset with you so…I acknowledge that no one wants to come to Vermont for a book signing and hope your time in more awesome states is…fine.

    /passive aggressive comment

  512. I can’t wait to get your book!!! I’m glad I waited so now I can get the extra chapter.

    Thanks for making my morning each day! I love your blog!

  514. New chapter? Woo-hoo! Guess we can read it for our “book club discussion” AGAIN! (excuse to drink a lot of wine and leave the kids with the husbands) Spasms of laughter = abdominal training, right?

  515. I just finished listening to your audio book last night and I might be in love with you, my dear quirky friend.

  516. If I buy the paperback will you sign that AND my original hardback when you come to Ohio? I was reading your book on a plane and LOL several months ago- the woman next to me kept trying to move away from me. She must have been a humorless old Hun- I need depends when I read your blog and comments!!!

  517. May have already been suggested in some form or other, but how about a low cost kindle download if that chapter for those of us who bought the hardcover (and people may buy it to check you out and when they see how freakin’ hilarious you are, then they’ll turn around and buy the whole book, so you’ll get their money twice–serves them right for not having more faith in you and buying the hardcover when it first came out).

  518. I am SO buying the paperback too. Now come to the Philly area on this book tour so I can get this one signed too!

  520. I bought the book on Kindle – and then was irritated at my Kindle (because it’s the cheap one) that I couldn’t see the pictures very well. So I DEFINITELY plan to buy the paperback. Probably multiple times so I can share you with my friends!

  521. Cannot wait to get the paperback, read the extra chapter, then pass it along to one of many friends who need it 🙂

  524. Thank you for the time you put in on this blog. It always makes me look at things a little differently, and it’s nice to get out of your own head from time-to-time.

  525. I was reading excerpts from your book to my sister as she was driving. We had to stop because she was laughing so hard she couldn’t concentrate on driving. I think she has a whole new view of human resource departments now!