If wishes were horses I’d have lots of horses because I totally would wish I had horses and then I’d end up with too many and I’d wish to get rid of some of the horses and that would just make more horses. Moral: Don’t wish for horses.

in Random Crap

The selfish things I wish for most often:

I wish I were a little less scared.

I wish I were a little less sad.

I wish I’d mastered subjunctives well enough to definitively know if I used “were” correctly in the previous two sentences.

Your turn.  What do you wish for?  (You cannot wish for world peace or for more wishes or give your wishes away.  So, really…what small – or large- thing do you wish for right this very moment?)

2,105 thoughts on “If wishes were horses I’d have lots of horses because I totally would wish I had horses and then I’d end up with too many and I’d wish to get rid of some of the horses and that would just make more horses. Moral: Don’t wish for horses.”

Read comments below or add one.

  2. I wish that I hadn’t almost died when the brakes went out on our truck and we landed in a dish. Not that I wish I had died but I totally didn’t get that cool life flashback montage. While glad I didn’t die, I felt a bit gypped. I also wish I had the money to get the truck fixed.

  4. yeah.. Ditch, not dish. With my luck I’d land in a saucer. A flying saucer and would be probed in uncomfortable places.

  5. I wish I could be as kind to myself as I am to complete strangers.

  8. Hugely excited by the Pacific Rim trailer, so my first thought was “GIANT ROBOT.”

    Yeah, I think that’s a good wish.

  11. And. I also wish each time I thought of my husband, I didn’t visualize the old knight in the Indiana Jones movie who says, “you chose…..poorly.”

  13. I wish I were brave enough to really pursue a career as an author.
    I wish I wasn’t so anxious about my daughter’s doctor’s appointment tomorrow.
    I wish I could spend less time worrying about my figure and more time feeling positive about how I look.

  15. I wish… I wish… I wish… the Goblin King would take ME away… right now.

  16. I wish I were a little more brave.
    I wish I were a little less sad.
    I wish I were less anxious about things that are every day tasks for most people. Because then I could be a little better at getting things done, and less likely to feel like a failure because of how long it (sometimes) takes me to do things.

  18. I wish I were less scared. I wish he were less scared.

    And it is ‘were’ that you should use with wish.

    Can I have my two horses now?

  20. I wish I was less sad too.
    I wish I was less of a screw up.
    I wish I could be “fixed”.

    But most often I wish it would all just stop.

  22. I wish I could cure my best friend’s chronic horrible stomach problems that doctors can’t figure out how to treat with a drop from Lucy’s diamond bottle in the Narnia books.

  23. I wish the shady side of Sonic would always have a space open for me.

  24. I wish to be free from stress brought on by the expectations of others.

  25. I wish I was in love. I really don’t mind bring single and 34 most of the time, but I would like to experience being in love.

  26. I wish no one had been raped. I wish there weren’t 3 victims in my family, that I know of. The 3rd was this weekend, and it’s all I can think of. Fucking humans.

  27. I wish that just once, things would work themselves out simply instead of taking the most complex route through everyone’s lives.

  28. I guess I would wish for more willpower. Nothing to help you achieve your dreams like some of that good ol’-fashioned get up and go.

  30. I wish there was a way to “like” some of these comments.

    I wish I had a piece of cheesecake. I also wish I didn’t like food so much.

  32. I really wish I could stop being so afraid that my life is going to end up with me living under a bridge with the dogs. I know life under a bridge will not be all bad, especially if there are dogs, but, you know, I really do wish I could stop having panic attacks about it.

  33. I wish I could crawl out from this mountain of student loan debt that just adds to my already depressed state.. Private college, specialized major.. Not a bright idea!

  36. I wish I had someone to share my life with, someone who wanted to share their life with me.

  37. I wish I always knew the right thing to say when I get around other people and I wish making friends was easier. Thanks goodness for the delayed reaction response quality of twitter and text.

  39. I’d wish to be an octopus — but I’d include in the wish a change in octopodal life so that it doesn’t revolve around mating and death. So basically and invincible octopus of very high intelligence. Hell, just give me 8 floaties and an olympic swimming pool….

  40. I wish 2 things. I wish I could lose the damn weight I gained while I was on prednizone for 3 weeks. I also wish I could spend time reading outside while its sunny.

  41. I wish that the MS hadn’t stolen parts of my livelihood which have in turn stolen parts of my children’s due to my inability to do so many things with them that I should be able to.

    sigh. Yeah that’s it these days.

    Tomorrow night one of my longtime wishes comes true: I get to meet Neil Gaiman at his signing in Chicago. So I can at least cross that one of my list.

  43. Ooh, Marjorie’s comment is killing me. Ah, honey.
    I am cliched: I wish for money. Enough to be comfortable, to be able to take the kids on vacation, to buy them new stuff. I’m a grad student and my husband is a SAHD. We are broke and it sucks.
    I wish I didn’t care about the fifteen pounds I’ve gained since having the kids, or the way my abdominal muscles don’t really connect anymore.
    I wish I could read Harry Potter again as though it were the first time.

  44. I wish my son wasn’t autistic. I feel like the worst person in the world for admitting that, and I do love him more than anything, but the worry/anxiety/guilt is going to kill me.

  45. I wish the people I love would love me back.

    I, too, wish I could be less sad and less afraid.

    I wish I was healthy, and didn’t have ms

    I wish I would berate myself less and love myself more.

    I wish I had well paying job in the field of my choice.

  46. I wish I could be free from depression, anxiety and worry which I think would lead to a better life.

  47. I don’t even know and I wish I did. I wish I had the answers because I don’t have any.

  48. I wish I had made better choices.
    I wish I could trust people more than I do.
    I wish “he” would call.
    I wish I weren’t so pathetic.

  49. I wish I could go to Texas and hang out with you, sharing crazy and (possibly) inappropriate awesome stories. And then go shopping for taxidermied animals. And make up more words like “taxidermied” since according to my phone it’s not one now, but I just totally made it one

  50. I wish my doggie was still around.

    i wish i were a little bit taller
    i wish i were a baller

  51. My mom says that there’s a minute every day where anything you wish comes true. One time I wished for a magnetic clipboard, and received it randomly in one of those holiday crackers. The joke in my family when something like that happens is that “You wasted a wish!” We all wish for little things like being less scared, and having less foot pain, and hoping our cat’s fur grows back… and we probably get those wishes all day.

    All of that because I was just thinking how incredibly grateful I am that people don’t really wish for horses. *shudders*

  52. I wish that our dog wasn’t so neurotic. There is only room in this house for one neurotic living thing and I was here first.

    I kind of also wish I had a house elf because holy crap, I am lazy.

    Also? I wish I hadn’t napped this afternoon because now I’m not tired.

  53. I wish I never had to deal with my low self-esteem and depression ever again, that they would just be magically healed.

  55. I wish I could take away your pain and anxiety. But then you probably wouldn’t such an amazing writer, because I TOTALLY wrote my best shit when I was dangerously depressed, and then when I got better, I stopped being funny. So it’s a trade-off. OK, so now I wish I could take away SOME of your pain and anxiety. Just enough to give you some relief, but not enough to make you boring like I am. Wait, you don’t even want to have a slight risk of being boring like I am. Can I wish for a horse now?

  56. I hope you aren’t freaking out over lap chole, although I know you probably are. It is not that bad; the recovery won’t be a walk in the park but it won’t be bad and you’ll be so much happier without all the awful flare-ups (which would have gotten worse, trust me).

  57. I would wish for more time with my friends. They just left after being here for almost two weeks and I miss them like crazy.

  58. I wish I owned this house, stocked full of 25 years of food, water and necessary supplies, with it’s own water and energy supply completely separate from the grid. And if not that, then that I have graduated from college with awesome grades and a job lined up.

  59. I wish I didn’t feel so overwhelmed by the prospect of selling my house and even though I’m happier than ever I’m divorced I wish I could stay in this house but can’t…you can’t stay with someone you don’t love just for the kids…or a house.

  61. I wish I had the guts to try and publish something I’ve written. I’ve just read so much crap that I am afraid I would totally fall into that category.

    And also, I wish I had the guts to sing karaoke just once. But let’s face it, I’ll never be as good in front of a crowd as I am in the shower…

  63. I wish I could be in a little less pain every day.
    If not that, I wish I could spend less time level grinding at life.

  64. Damn, I was gonna wish for world peace, or at least whirled peas. Okay, I would wish for a pain-free for life (me: low back pain and bad joints, him: no cartilage left in either knee) for both my husband and I.

  66. I wish my husband had steady work so he wouldn’t worry so much. And then I wouldn’t have to work after this baby was born.
    I wish we could afford a house.
    I wish I had a best friend.

  68. I wish for a little sweet lake house with a hammock where I could take naps and think of best sellers 🙂
    I wish for a published novel and financial freedom so that my son could go to a school equipped for his needs.
    I wish for health and happiness for my family and I wish for my son recognizing his greatness!

  69. I wish that my co-worker hadn’t died last saturday in a horrible accident.

  71. I wish the pinched nerve in my neck would get better. I’m trying to be less grumpy at work, and it isnt helping.
    I wish I were less scared, less sad, less stuck.
    But mostly, I wish for a happier neck.

  72. Sex. Preferably really good sex. Sex with Dwayne Johnson if truth be told.

  73. I wish I was a little bit taller.
    I wish I was a baller.
    I wish I had a girl who looked good; I would call her.
    I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat,
    And a six four Impala.

    Sorry…I couldn’t stop myself…
    Maybe I should wish for more self control…
    Nah, that’s just silly.

  75. I wish I didn’t miss him so damn much. It’s been six years; when will it stop hurting?

  76. I wish I could give myself fully to people and ideas, without worrying about having a way out.

  77. I wish I had a huge kitchen and lots of time to make food and play bass.
    And I wish Nine Inch Nails was playing a Northern California date that wasn’t some stupid expensive festival in a park that is a lousy concert venue. And that QOTSA would do the same. And I could have dinner with both Trent Reznor AND Josh Homme.
    And I wish most of all my mom was still with us. Even after almost 10 years, I miss her more than a wish can express.

  81. I wish I could live my life over. I wish I’d pursued my dreams when I was younger and less broken. I wish I had a cupcake.

  82. I wish Multiple Sclerosis didn’t exist – the physical losses I’ve seen my mom go through totally suck, but the affect the disease and the meds have had on her mind break my heart. I miss my MOM – the one I could talk to about anything, the woman who was my friend and a rock of constant love and support. I love my mom as she is now, but I miss her as she was, too. Also, I wish chocolate was calorie free.

  84. I wish for all of the previous wishes to come true!
    Especially Anonymous in #5
    I wish everyone would just laugh more and be more sarcastic
    I wish cancer to go the fuck away
    I wish depression wouldn’t lie
    I wish I lived next door to you because I swear I wouldn’t stalk you, just leave wine/bourbon slushies at your door
    I wish I had the courage to do what Wendy Davis did
    I wish my kids will grow up strong

  86. I wish money didn’t assume as much importance as it does.
    I wish teleporting was a real thing.
    I wish my relationship of two years hadn’t come to an end.
    I wish I had a cat.
    I wish there was a job where reading books was synonymous with doing something insanely wonderful for the world.

    I know you’re scared about your surgery (maybe it’s something else) whatever it is Jenny…I definitely wish you happiness. 🙂

  87. I would wish to always have exactly as much money as I needed at each moment, no more or no less.

    And maybe a cure for celiac disease, so I could finally walk into a bakery and eat cupcakes without having to research their entire baking process.

  88. I wish I didn’t panic so much over my health and well being. But now I’m panicking that would come true and if it did then I wouldn’t give a hoot about it and then I would die because I didn’t give a hoot. UGH! So, I guess I’ll just wish that I could take a damn vacation.

  90. Right now? A piece of fruit- but I usually wish to be a respected writer, eradicate animal cruelty and live comfortably in the south of france with a dog or two…

  91. I wish I could spend every hour of every day feeling the joy I feel on those rare days when it’s just me and my husband and we are free to do what we want, when we want, as much as we want.

  92. I wish that when I met you in Tempe I wasn’t too scared to get a photo.

  95. I wish I had the funds to get my anxiety/ mental illness/ nutty factor professionally diagnosed so my family would believe me.

  96. I wish there were more animals and less people. Or at least that people would stop killing animals for anything except survival. Not convenience, survival.

  97. I wish I would get out of my head sometimes.
    I wish I wasn’t so scared of doctors.
    I wish I didn’t know what a panic attack felt like.
    I wish all child molesters died before they ever even had a chance to think about doing anything so evil!

  99. And I wish laptops had arms and a hug app so I could hug you from here, Ms. Jenny.

  100. More than anything, and especially after today, I wish someone could go inside my brain and figure out what is wrong with me. Or I wish that someone, anyone, somewhere would empathize with my pain. I’m tired of feeling so completely invalidated all the time….

    Maybe my wish will come true, I’ll pray for it tonight like I do every night and see if maybe you worked some sort of your magic for me 😉

  102. I wish for horses, because I can’t not wish for horses, but I also wish for the money to keep them.
    I wish that I could help.
    I wish Love. (I know, entirely too close to world peace, so I guess if you insist on not counting it, that’s ok, but it’s still what I wish.

  103. Really, I wish I could be a pyrotechnician, cuz blowing shit up all pretty is my dream life.

  104. Wow. Reading some of the comments makes me wish I could grant *your* wishes. My wishes are so petty and materialistic. I’m in a good place in my life, and I’m grateful for that.

  105. I wish everyone’s student loans were deleted and we could all get a fresh start. I wish I had my Dad back. I wish I didnt suck at relationships.

  106. I wish I was never injured and lost my surgical career.
    I wish I had the money to repay all those medical school loans.

    barring that I wish I had a comfortable house in a place I actually want to live (and room for the cats)

  107. I wish my brother and sister-in-law enjoyed good health instead of the medical problems they endure every damn day.

  108. I wish I knew how to make my grandmother’s pecan pie.

    I’m going to call her in the morning and make her give me the recipe. This wish will come true and I didn’t even realize it was something I wanted until I actually thought about it. Thank you for that.

    I hope everyone else is able to get their wishes.

  109. I wish for peace about my cross-country move that’s happening next week.

    I wish for financial security.

    I wish for health for myself and my husband, and our cat.

  111. I wish infertility did not exist.

    I wish thyroid imbalances were a simple fix.

    I wish I never have to take another pill for medical reasons ever again.

  112. I wish I could find a career I truly loved (and was good at) and I wish for someone to love and love me back, I’ve never had either.

  113. Since I can’t wish for world peace, I guess I have to go with wishing for a perky butt and 20 year old boobs, the kind that don’t disappear in your armpits when you lie down.

  115. I wish I could find the courage to get back to that happier place where I was writing more funny things than sad things.
    I wish I weren’t feeling so lonely right now.
    And I wish that I was in a better place where I could remember all of the random and wonderful things I wish for on a daily basis. Like how I wish I could cross off my bucket list item about being able to eat an orange out of the Orange Bowl trophy.

    Hey, lookie there, guess I’m in a bit of a better place than I thought.

  116. 1) I wish I had my diploma.

    2) I wish there would be no more bullying.

    3) I wish I could sing, dance, draw, or do SOMETHING artistic.

  117. I wish my Mom had believed me when I was 16 and went to her after I had been raped.

    I wish I felt loved by someone.

  118. I wish I knew how to stop apathy.

    I wish I could stop worrying.

    I wish she was home for good.

  119. I wish I could have my baby, healthy, and SOON.
    I want to SEE him, I want to HOLD him, and more than ever I want to NOT be pregnant.

  121. I wish I had more margaritas.
    I wish I could get a full-time job without going through the interview process.
    I wish I were more patient with my fiction and myself.
    I wish I could play the violin.
    I wish I could hug all of you and make your wishes come true.

  122. i wished for help, and for a friend. i found your book/blog. it helped rid me of my social anxiety by showing me a social sphere i could relate to. shortly thereafter i found the guts to start a family. my baby girl was born last April. now that i have everything, i wish for her to one day find her tribe, so she can too.

  123. I wish I could take my 4 year old cancer away from him. I’d gladly take it myself, if it would spare him.

  124. I wish for stiffer penalties for repeat offenders and tighter gun control.

  125. I wish I were brave enough to get out of a relationship that isn’t good for either of us.

    I wish I could reason through my problems 100% of the time. Currently I’m okay maybe 95-99% of the time and other times are crying and panic attacks.

    I wish I wasn’t so afraid of seeing a doctor/therapist. I wish I wasn’t afraid of medication.

    I wish I had a job I enjoyed.

  126. I wish I could find a job I liked, and even moreso, I wish I could figure out my passion in life. If you know, could you tell me?

  127. I wish a grownup would come and do all of the things for me.
    I wish someone would take care of my son for 24 hours so I could go a whole day without changing a shitty diaper.
    I wish I were smarter.
    I wish I was a better mother.
    I wish I wasn’t so lonely that I run everyone off so I can revel in my loneliness.
    I wish someone could grant one of my wishes.

  130. I wish that there was a cure for my little girl’s cerebral palsy. As proud as I am of her, I hate watching her struggle through surgeries, therapies, more doctors than most people see in a lifetime. I would give almost anything for that wish to come true.

  132. I wish alcohol didn’t have a hold on my 22 year old :,( and that he still listened to his mama! (Sorry to be a “Debbie Downer”…but you asked!)

  133. I wish I could find a job that didn’t make me miserable.
    I wish my parents weren’t so broke that my husband and son and I have to move in with them to pay their bills.
    I wish I had even a single friend.
    I wish my mom hadn’t eaten herself into needing a quintuple bypas at 58.
    I wish I wasn’t heading down the same path.
    I wish I was a better mom.
    I wish I liked my husband more.
    I wish I liked me more.
    I wish I was more likeable.
    I wish for anything good to happen in my life, to outweigh all the crap I’ve been handling lately.

  135. I wish I could let others help me, and wasn’t so stubbornly independent.
    I wish my best friends lived closer.
    I wish I was actually as kind as others think I am.

  138. I wish I could worry less. I wish I could make and keep in contact with my friends. I wish I were married with kids. I wish it were Friday so I could give my notice at work so that I can start working at my new goal of going back to school. I wish my boyfriend didn’t worry and stress so much. I think that’s too many wishes. But I agree with Jenny and also wish I could meet many of you so I could give you a hug and hang out for the night.

  139. I was going to wish to feel less lonely but after reading all these comments I don’t feel so alone. Huh.

  140. I wish I wasn’t transgender.
    Or I at least wish I had enough money to achieve the body that I need.

    I’ve been transitioning for 6months and just don’t make enough money to continue buying hormones. I feel so much better than I ever have, I wish I could continue.

  141. I wish I could be half as awesome as you. And also I wish the Doctor would show up in the TARDIS and take me to some super cool part of the universe.

  143. I wish I could help my brother stop drinking and hurting our family with his actions.
    I wish I could buy my grandfather a new house, one that isn’t falling down around him.
    I wish I had a job that I loved, and paid all my bills.
    I wish I could yodel.

  145. I wish for horses. Oh, wait – you said don’t do that. I wish that folks would have a little more compassion for others. Except when I’m in the express lane at the grocery store and the lady in front of my has 22 items – then I have no compassion AT ALL and wish everyone could COUNT.

  146. I wish I didn’t feel like I was never getting any where with my health. Went to the neurologist today only to have 3 tests ordered (feel a little more hopeful than the blood work that the glandular specialist ordered but still I’m broken and copayments and coinsurences don’t grow on trees and weeks go by with no conclusive answer on why I’m broken)

    I wish I would sleep at night. I lay awake while the rest if the world sleep only to conk out while everyone else starts there day.

    I wish my brother would email/call/text/smoke signal me, I miss him and worry

  151. My wish is that my soon to be ex husband will sign the papers that will allow me to keep the house.

  153. I wish I had more friends and didn’t feel so alone in a city of 9 million.

  154. I wish someone would have recognized my depression for what it was 20 years ago, so I wouldn’t have given up on my music career a few years after graduating from college.

    I wish I was comfortable in my own skin.

    I wish my sister hadn’t turned into a lying scammer when she married her husband.

    I wish the conversations I have in real life were as good as the practice ones I have in my head.

  155. I wish I had a particle transporter so I could go anywhere I wanted to go anytime I wanted. And, of course, not have to worry I’d turn into a fly.

  156. I wish I could make everyone’s wishes reality. We all kind if deserve that.

  157. I wish I didn’t have another blood clot in my shoulder…..that is screwing up my life and my plans to start a family…

  158. I wish my mom understood how important she is to me. I wish for her to keep fighting her depression because I need her. I wish people were kinder to themselves.

  159. @Jess (127). … I too am trans, but I would suggest you not give up. Where do you live? In many cities there are sliding scale options. I know because I helped start one in Chicago. I have connections in many locations and can research to find others. Contact me and we’ll see what we can do.

  161. I wish my grown daughter like me.

    I wish that the really good people like friend didn’t have cancer.

    I wish I could have had someone love me.

  162. I wish I’d ended that relationship before I lost the ability to trust.
    I wish I had more faith in myself.
    I wish I could find the one thing I’m really good at, instead of a dozen things I’m ok at.

  164. I wish I had the self-confidence to talk to boys. I wouldn’t be the only 32 year old who’s never even gone on a date.
    I’d wish I was skinny because apparently boys will come talk to you if you’re skinny but then I’d still be the socially awkward skinny girl, and that wouldn’t solve any of my problems.
    I wish I had confidence in myself.

  165. I wish the two young people I know who died this year were still alive.

  167. I’d wish that my husband’s med school debt was paid off. I can’t even properly fathom how much debt we’re in.

  169. I wish my feet didn’t itch like crazy from reacting to my new sandals yesterday.

    No, I wish it would be 10 degrees cooler and wet, so I wouldn’t need to wear sandals!

  170. I wish that I was less anxious, that my anxiety voices were a little quieter, that I wasn’t so hesitant and I wish that I will get better.

  171. I wish I could fall in love with someone who’ll love me back. That unrequited stuff is for the birds.

  172. I wish I cared a little less what other people think of me. It really holds me back and makes me do idiotic things. That, and I wish my cat had his 4th leg because it’s really sad when he has an itch on that side and his little stump is trying so hard to scratch it. Oh! And I want a pet unicorn.

  173. I wish I could truly appreciate what a wonderful man my boyfriend is, and once and for all stop thinking about my ex
    and I wish I could have seen my dad one last time

  175. i wish we could all come up with a bloggess bat signal.. a “blignal”. like how about from now on whenever we need help we put a giant metal chicken in the front yard? it can be the universal signal for “I’m in my pjs and hiding out from _______. come join me under my bed fort, we’ll make smores!”

  176. I wish I was braver
    I wish I could eat what I want
    I wish people all would keep “Wheatons Law”

  177. I wish my husband was still alive. There were days we didn’t always like each other, but I always loved him. And I’ve missed him everyday for the past three months.

  178. I wish I didn’t still wish I were dead at least once per day, in spite of having a healthy relationship now. Finally. I wish I had an emotional filter so I wouldn’t FEEL so fucking much, but without being turned into a robot like lithium did to me. I wish I could stop worrying so much and lighten the stress. I wish a lot of things, really.

  179. When I read the teaser in Twitter I said – out loud – “I wish I had a million dollars!” Then I laughed because a million dollars doesn’t go as far as you think it should (especially in California where a tiny house is more than a million dollars). Then I clicked the link and started reading people’s wishes. Then I cried. So I guess if you’re asking.. what do I really wish… I wish my brother hadn’t died three months ago.

  181. I wish I had a Star Trek style transporter. My family and friends are so scattered, and travel is so expensive, I wind upfeeling like little pieces of my heart are scattered all over the world.

  182. I really just want a new purse. Something leather, and a pretty kinda bright, happy, summery color. Not like grandma colors or anything. Kinda big, but not really.

  184. I wish I’d had the confidence to ask her out. I wish I could find her now. I wouldn’t make that mistake again.

  186. I wish I had the kind of partnership with someone that you have with Victor.

  188. I wish I knew why my sofa smells like that. Or maybe I don’t. I’ll ask the seven year old in the morning.

  189. I wish I could fix broken people.
    I wish I had enough money to live comfortably for them rest of my life.
    I wish I had my dad back so I could spend more time with him and tell him I love him one more time.

  190. I wish that the economy weren’t so screwed up that I, as a single, college educated, career woman in her 30’s, hadn’t spent the holiday weekend crying over deciding how to renew my already overly-expensive lease at $50 more per month, or figure our how to scratch up enough cash to move. All while not having enough cash to refill my anxiety meds. Tough weekend. Thank God for a family that notices when something is wrong makes sure I get the meds I need. The rest will work its way out in the end.

  191. I wish I didn’t have to do in vitro to get pregnant. I want a baby!

  193. I wish I was engaged to my boyfriend. And I wish I wasn’t too scared to ask him myself

  195. I wish I could totally forget the plots of my favorite books so that they’d be just as breathtaking every time I read them.

  196. I wish I I could ensure that my family would be secure now and in the future.
    Not rich, just comfortable enough to not feel like a sword is hanging over me all the time.
    I wish I could feel like I could look for a woman to share my life, but how do I find
    the time? How do I ask someone to take on the burdens of my family?

  200. I almost always wish I’d win the lottery, which is hard to do, cause I hardly ever buy tickets. I want be one of those who buys one ticket & wins the whole thing & then I’d give a bunch of it to charity, cause there’s too many hungry, homeless people & sad lonely pets.

  202. I wish I could get my self confidence back. I wish I hadn’t traded my self-respect for momentary relief.

  203. I wish I had been able to keep up my xanax free streak.
    Although I’m grateful I managed a few days without it.

  204. I wish my own teeth were healthy & strong. I don’t want movie star teeth, just healthy teeth.

  205. i wish i didn’t loathe myself and my body so much that i can no longer have a meal or even a beer (or several) w/o wanting to be run down by a very large truck..or that dying were easier…

  206. I wish my life goals didn’t change drastically from day to day. It makes it hard to plan.
    Also I wish I knew how to bake macarons.

  207. I wish to be a little ( or a lot) happier.

    I wish I was more financially comfortable.

  208. I wish for the strength to get through the next time I want to stop feeling.
    I wish that my son will be like his dad and be well physically and mentally.
    I wish that I wasn’t so filled with anxiety that it keeps me from making friends.
    I wish that my son wasn’t being bullied at school that refuses to do anything about it.
    I wish that my husband could have had just one more day with his dad.

  209. I wish … I don’t know really. There’s loads of stuff I want and need – money and everyday life stuff (mortgage repayments, home repairs, school fees) but I think, seeing as though it is only one wish, I think maybe I’ll waste it one fantastic night… or something.

  210. I wish that my son’s hearing would be restored and he would no longer have any speech impediments.

  211. I wish I had more energy so I could get things done.
    I wish my feet didn’t hurt so that when I do have energy I could do all that I wanted.
    I wish I wasn’t allergic to anything, but especially watermelon. And peaches. And blueberries.
    I wish there was a restaurant open 24 hours that served awesome salads instead of greasy diner food.

  212. I wish I wasn’t in debt up to my eyeballs (well really, over my head) due to school…
    I wish my house laundry was done (and the dishes too).
    I wish I was skinnier..

  213. I wish for mental health for my family members who do not have it right now.

  214. I wish we had enough money to have all of the things we need instead of having to pick. For example: getting my teeth fixed instead of chewing on only one side of my mouth, or if I cant ever have the air conditioner in my car fixed, at least being able to have the back window roll down so the kids arent SO hot. Or having more gas money so we could go to the park more instead of staying home all the time. Enough to buy fresh fruits and veggies instead whatever cheap crap is on sale that I have coupons for. Just enough to actually get by instead of almost getting by.

  215. I wish I could be easier on myself and my kids. I wish I could remember that everything is actually okay, I’m really not preventing catastrophes by working myself too hard. I wish I could allow myself to play more.

  216. I wish I hadn’t spent the last seven years hoping and wishing and wondering when I would finally be enough for him. Because I could have been all someone else has ever wanted all along.

  217. I wish I could take away any anxiety or sadness my husband is experiencing as we watch his aging father’s health and memory deteriorate. I also wish that my best friend of 25 years hadn’t died of a heart attack a few weeks ago at age 46.

  218. I wish…

    …I wish my daughters hadn’t died.

    I wish other things, too, but I’m still so broken that I’m not sure they matter. I wish it was easier to get through grief? I wish I didn’t feel an overwhelming urge to throat punch people who ask, “Aren’t you over it yet?” and “When are you going to get back to normal?”

    I wish I had all the time I wanted/needed to write. I wish fibromyalgia would fucking go away.

    I wish I could feel happy again.

  219. I wish that when a provider is dismissive of a patient’s problems, I could transfer the patient’s symptoms to them for a few hours, to give them a chance to grow some empathy.

  220. I wish that I could know what my future holds: am I ever going to find someone to love me, will everything work out, were the last five years really as much of a waste as they seem…

    And I wish that the little voice in the back of my mind, the one that whispers (and sometimes shouts) how ugly, useless, worthless, and stupid I am, would finally shut up and give me peace. I wish I could know what it feels like to look in the mirror and like what I see, wish I could actually like myself for a change.

  221. I wish everyone had someone who loved and accepted them the way my husband does me because then I think there would be a lot less people doubt terrible things to others.

    I wish I knew why things stopped word wrapping on my phone and whether this was going to post right or show up as one big long line.

    I wish I could do work that I love and that it would support me and my horses. Specifically, I wish for my dream to become reality. (It involves horses, inner healing, dressage, and teaching trainers a non-dominance approach to working with both human and equine students.)

    And actually, I do wish someday to have a talented and healthy dressage horse. Oh, and to be a more confident rider. But right now I’m grateful for my talented but stifle (knee) cartilage challenged horse and the gift horse I received to be a companion for mine when we finally get to bring the horses home.

    And I wish for healing for all those who posted before me (and who will post after me) and especially for the posts by people who have been raped or who love people who have been raped.

  222. I wish I could love myself enough to believe when others say they love me.
    I wish my son would be less anxious and be able to enjoy his life as a brilliant young man.
    I wish my mother didn’t have lung cancer.

  224. I wish I knew my life’s purpose.
    I wish the wishes of those who posted before me and those who will post after me come true.
    I wish I could be more grateful for all the good things.
    I wish I had the energy to do the tasks I need to do.

  225. I wish we had unlimited disposable income, so we could retire and I could spend all my time with my hubby.

    I also wish we had that income so we could use a portion of it to support our local theater, zoo and a few other non-profits I would love to make large gifts to!

  226. I wish I could find out the sex of my baby tomorrow, so I can start stocking up on gender-appropriate diapers.
    I wish we had a bit more money, so we could travel for the weekend and pay bills and buy baby stuff on the same fortnight.
    I wish I were more confident to start a career as a Tupperware salesperson.
    I wish my mom would go to the doctor and fix that horrible cough of hers.
    I wish I could help people more.

  228. My wish is that everyone here finds their happiness. You all are not alone and there are many of us who understand and love all of you for EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE !!! Under all the pains of life are beautiful, loving people who truly are more loved than they realize. You don’t know me but I am one of those who love you.

  230. I wish I trusted anyone.
    I wish people were more tolerant and less judgmental.
    I wish at least once in their life, everyone could feel like they belong.
    I wish I wasn’t so terrified of the responsibility of being loved.
    I wish I wasn’t so negative.
    I wish every animal could live a long, safe, happy life and die of old age.

  232. I wish my mom didn’t have to be so alone and that she was back home where she belongs
    I wish I wasn’t so broken so my husband wouldn’t have to fix me so often
    I wish my fridge was always stocked with whipped cream and pumpkin pie
    I wish the night wasn’t so long and full of doubt

  233. I wish that my next job will be my dream job and will last as long as I want it to.

  235. I wish that when I was 19, the doctor wouldn’t have told me that I would never be able to have children.

    I also wish that the life choices I made after finding that out could be taken back.

    But most of all, I wish that someday, I’ll have a child of my own to cherish. Ah well, I have dogs right now, and they’re awesome.

  236. I wish I didn’t have this nasty cold. I wish my house wasn’t so cluttered.

  237. I wish that I could spend all day reading and writing and doing whatever else I wanted instead of working. I wish that someday I will get this opportunity.

  238. I wish my little sister didn’t have a diving accident and was still alive.

  239. I wish my son and daughter-in-law would tell me what I did or said that caused them to disown me. I haven’t seen my granddaughter since she was 8 months old…she is 7 1/2 now…and I’ve never met my grandson…he is 5. Please just tell me what happened so I can try to fix it or change myself. When they tell me “If you don’t know, we’re not going to tell you” it does not help. It only makes me really understand how childish they are. I love them all, and I think about them every day.

  240. My wish is that my cat Maggie makes it through the night until we can see the vet who knows her condition tomorrow. Reading your blog as I stay awake with her-keeps me snickering and light(er) hearted, which is much appreciated.

  241. I wish my Love could get a break and have some good things start happening in his life. He’s been on a downward spiral for way too long, it’s time for things to start looking up. Please! Thank you!

  242. I wish adults and children didn’t have to die from cancer.
    I wish I wasn’t worried my friend’s son will die while we are out of the country.

  243. I wish I could stop being so angry, sad, scared, or all three at once.
    I wish I would stop letting my fears run me and just live in the moment.
    I wish I were kinder to people I love.
    I wish everyone else could have their wishes come true.

  246. I wish the fuckin rollercoaster would stop already.
    And I wish for those self drivon cars to go public so i could make a cross country road trip wotjout havin to stop for sleep.

  247. I wish that we all didn’t have these sad things that we need to wish our way out of.

    I wish that we could just give everyone a big hug and make it better.

  248. I wish that I saw some light at the end of the dark tunnel I made for myself

    I also wish people could just somehow be happy…but I guess that is not how life really works.

  249. I wish I were smarter. I wish I could sing. I wish life wasn’t always so hard.

  250. I wish I didn’t have Crohn’s Disease, because I’m pretty sure that I could have made all my other wishes come true, if I hadn’t been so sick all my life…

  251. I have a lot of wishes, from the mundane “I wish my student loans would pay themselves off” to the extravagant “I wish that one particular incredibly hot Korean music star would somehow discover my existence and realize I am the ONLY WOMAN who could ever make him happy and take me away from this ridiculously boring though nothing to complain about life I’ve got going on”. Because seriously, who WOULDN’T want to be taken away from all this normalcy by the superstar of their dreams? I’m not even being greedy – I’ll leave David Tennant for another girl! …this time.

  253. I wish people that I love and trust would stop hurting me.

    I wish the people that hurt me wouldn’t ask if I consider their feelings when I’m angry about them hurting mine.

  254. I wish I had my own private jet so that I could visit my family in Australia whenever I want. Or I could fly them over to me. Feelin’ a bit homesick…

  255. I wish I had spent more time with my grandma. The last time I saw her healthy was at my bridal shower… And I barely spent any time with her. The next day she was admitted to the hospital where she stayed. Until we said goodbye 6 days after my wedding.

    I wish I could go back and confront the person at the hospital who judged me (and my husband and brother and sil) for visiting my grandma when she was in the hospital immediately after the wedding. I wanted her to understand there was NO place on earth I would rather have been then there with her.

    I wish I knew how to talk to my family.

  256. I wish I had money, money, money… to make my son’s BD special in a few days… to releave all this stress that’s making me old…
    Money. Money. Money! Things would be easier.

    There’s some great wishes in the comments. I wish I had those thoughts…

  257. I wish I didn’t feel like I was about to cry. Or, I wish I could figure out why I feel like I’m about to cry. Things are great, but not happy tears great. It’s probably the edge of a panic attack. I wish I didn’t get panic attacks.

    I wish I had more cheese.

  260. I wish I was healthy.

    Based on what my mom has said about my infancy, I was born with IBS, which means my nerve ending are extra sensitive to everything, but since I was born with it, it is not caused by the usual suspects (depression, anxiety, etc.) and this hyper sensitivity has spread to the rest of my body. Right now just wearing clothing is making my skin feel like it is on fire even though if one looked at my skin, it would look completely normal. My doctors don’t seem to know what to do with me since it is not caused by one of the usual suspects and they cannot find anything physically wrong with me. Unfortunately I am also hypersensitive to medication so for now, I just have to deal with this.

  261. I wish my very old dogs would live forever.
    I wish my vintage shop made enough money to sustain me & the 2 very old dogs–with sometimes very large vet bills–comfortably.
    I wish I was secure enough financially so my parents wouldn’t worry–even at my age.
    I wish I was as brave as I was when I was 20, or even 30.
    I wish people only saw me as old as I feel & not as old as I am getting.
    I wish my family were eternally safe, healthy & happy.
    I wish I didn’t worry about all of the above so much.

  262. Easy. A job and a place to live. Not necessarily in that order. Actually need the latter first, as I have to move by next Monday and I currently have nowhere to move to.

    And also some friends to help me move my stuff into storage next weekend. I’ve asked, no one has agreed, it sucks. Now I have to come up with money for movers. Remember the no-job thing above?

    I could also delete the first 2-part wish (with bonus mini 3rd wish) and just wish for a shit-ton of money. Like, a million dollars or something. Then I could afford to hire movers, pay rent, probably buy a car, pay off some debt, move out of the shitty city I’m in which is a vortex of weird energies and has been the site of almost every crappy thing that’s happened to me in my adult life, all of which have happened since I moved here 3.5 years ago…I’m the cause of most of my problems, but I really need help to start fixing it all, and I’m not getting much. So there’s that.

  263. I wish I didn’t wait for something bad to happen every time good things come along.

    I wish I could have a nice little house that was all mine.

    And I really, really wish more people knew my books existed.

  265. I wish I could see how my life would have been different if I had made different choices (a la “It’s a Wonderful Life”) so that I could stop wondering.
    I’m another that wishes for financial freedom. It would take so much stress away. Also, the grinding of the teeth.
    I wish I could have another baby.
    I wish I could sleep.
    I wish all my family could have happiness and health for their entire lives.
    I wish I could trust easier.

  266. I wish I didn’t cry every time I think of people giving me sympathy
    I wish my husband would sort out his midlife crisis and realise we’re good for each other
    I wish I could do chin ups without help!
    🙂

  267. My wife says: Wisdom is wasted on the old because the young don’t take advantage of that knowledge when it is passed along. I wish we could change that.

  268. I wish I could be friends with all of you that wish for a friend.
    I wish graduating college would stop being interrupted by various surgeries. I mean, it’s really annoying. They take too long and can’t even have the decency to occur when there is a break from school!
    I wish everyone’s wishes would come true.

  270. You very adeptly subjunctived. Nicely done. And your title reminded me of an old commercial…or I think it was a commercial. It’s something my husband and I say to each other…

    If love were beans I’d give you a lot of beans.

    I wish you were less sad and scared too. Rose quartz, rhodochrosite, labradorite…those might help and are pretty as well 🙂

  271. I wish my mom (one of the kindest people you’d ever meet) didn’t have Parkinson’s or bipolar disorder.

    I wish I didn’t suffer from the pain of fibromyalgia. It’s affected everything from my everyday well-being, to my career, to my relationship with my significant other. I wish I would have appreciated my good health before I got sick.

    Jenny, thank you for “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened,” your blog, and Twitter posts. I look forward to your posts and especially your upcoming book. My boyfriend and I listened to your book when we went on vacation last year. We loved your hilarious stories and I’m surprised my boyfriend managed to not drive off the road when we were laughing so hard.

    I appreciate your candor in speaking about your struggles with Rheumatoid Arthritis and depression. As someone who’s dealt with chronic pain and depression, I felt like I could identify with you. Thank you for helping people feel they’re not alone.

  272. 1. I wish that my plan of doing free unsolicited marketing for this French Language school in Cebu City that a supposedly rich jeweller owns (mother of fashion design girlaloo monique lhuiller) would get enough attention to get me to France or travel to places, which is a funny thing. Because I also wished before of being able to resist the urge to travel just because travelling supposedly makes one a wise actualized person civilized person. If I travel, then my lifetime goal of not being able to travel and being able to see the world in just in my local box would be doomed! It’s like, what if my life goal is NOT to travel? To be that guy who could travel but wouldn’t?

    Most people here in Cebu City that do a lot of travelling don’t seem to be more civilized than the politicians who steal money to buy expensive cars. But then that’s just what the media tells us here. Media here are owned by “political clan” politicians so huraaay for impartial journalism!

    2. I wish my plan of like selling my alphabet-template children’s book rooted from James Salter and J.D. Salinger and the derivatives of the humor of Groucho Marx, including that author whose father had this penchant humor using bobcats as props and that Reese Witherspoon really liked, the book being entitled: “An Alphabet of Pretension and Dishonesty for The Dishonest and Unpretentious” , (a Bisaya book in Bisaya language) — i hope this book gets enough track for me not to get back to Jovia and SSRI again. Them: Oh why is it in Bisaya Language? I can’t read it! Me: Why shouldn’t it be? Ako ning libro, kung gusto kag palami gikan nako, pag kat og Bisaya kuwanggol!

    3. I wish, like, nothing about the Charity dynamics of The Imaginarrium of Parnassus that Ledger movie happens here in my community. I help charity, but “honest” and “NON-hypocritical people” do not want me to do that. And I’m like, I’m in a double bind David Foster Wallace-style and but yaaay another episode of Adventure Time! Poop boop.

  273. I wish everyone I love could die of old age, surrounded by their grandkids.

    I wish I could teleport so I could see my friends and family whenever I want!

  274. I wish I had a job. I am bored out of my skull, clearly not going to get around to deep cleaning the house with a toothbrush, and tired of being alone most days. A job rejection begets depression and all those fun feelings of worthlessness and then I get sad and I stay home and the longer I stay home the more anxious I get about leaving, so I don’t. And then I’m bored and alone (but safe!) and when I finally start feeling better, I apply for more jobs… and then get rejected. I know I’m competing against eleventy billion people for work but come ON.

  276. I wish for my mother to be happy more often, that I didn’t have to go between households all the time, and that I get enough money to go to taxidermy school.

  277. I wish my hormones would quit making me fat,
    Or at least I wish I didn’t care that I was fat.

  278. I’d wish that I didn’t have such a stupid body. I’m not talking looks, or weight, I mean functionality. I wish I could get pregnant, and that my womb of doom didn’t set out to end every life it comes across. That bitch is evil.

  279. I wish I could just go to school forever and ever and just learn, none of this needing to do something with it sooner rather than later.

  282. I have made the same wishes every day for almost two years now:

    I wish I had been home when the fire started in my building.
    I wish I could have saved my beautiful cats.
    I wish they hadn’t died scared and alone.
    I wish I wasn’t terrified every time I set foot outside the house now.
    I wish I could sleep through the night.
    I wish I could go a single day without crying.
    I wish I hadn’t paid the price for someone else’s carelessness.
    I wish I could tell people how much I am hurting, even after so much time has passed.

  283. I wish I was 39 1/2 weeks pregnant, and due on Friday instead of planning a memorial for my stillborn son.

  284. I wish I could travel more, and that I didn’t get so unbearably anxious on airplanes!

  286. I wish my friend felt the same way about me as I do about him.
    I wish my cat could be with me forever.
    I wish there was less pain and suffering in the world.

  288. I wish I could fill everyone’s wishes.

    Also wish I didn’t have to work outside the home, so my daughter could be with me more.

  289. I wish my mom could get some answers and resolution in her life. It’s been terrible since my dad died in December, and she is so very sad. I really really wish I get the job I interview for tomorrow. Really really. And a minor wish? I wrenched my back this weekend, and I wish the pain would go away, like now.

  290. To Laura (comment #44, who likely will never see this)~
    We wish it. We love our 2 kids, both with ASD, but what parent would refuse to wish their child’s challenges away? When my kids cry because they just don’t get it, and they know it’s the autism making it harder, why would I not wish the condition away? They would still be the same kids. They would be loveable, outgoing, creative, courageous, but they would be able to learn like the other kids do. I know there is so much more to them than the autism, but is is the autism that tries to block their potential.

  291. i wish i had not killed my parents. dieing with dignity and terminal dehydration are not the same thing

  292. I wish my son didn’t have allergies
    I wish I could be less anxious about his allergies
    I wish I could hold on to the glimpses of happiness I feel

  293. I wish I had more time and energy to work on the things I want to work on.
    I wish I would never fall into another black hole of depression and anxiety.
    I wish I could afford to go to the doctor to get treated for my health issues.
    I wish everyone would stop judging everyone else for a while and try to empathize with them instead.
    I wish I had practiced more when I was younger abd actually had energy and time.

  294. I wish I believed that “Things will get better.” I’m only 18 and I wish I knew what it feels like having someone love me instead of always being the “strong, loner type”.

  295. I wish that I could be healthy and capable and kickass well into my 90s, then die in my sleep with no regrets, and that all of my descendents would have the same.

    I wish that I could speak and understand every language. (Okay, that’s my super-hero wish…sue me.)

    I wish I had just enough money that I never had to worry, but not so much that I’d be able to go free-range crazy without intervention.

  297. I wish my mother would accept the man I love.
    I wish I didn’t have to be my mother’s keeper.
    I wish I could get through school faster.
    I wish I knew what choices to make to have my life go how I want it to.
    I wish people would be more forgiving.
    I wish there were more hours in a day…

    Also, If wishes are horses, I definitely don’t want to be deathly allergic to horses… Seeing as the horse population would explode out of control, and by consequence I would suffocate to death. So I guess I also wish I weren’t allergic to horses.

  298. I wish that the Dr would call right now and tell me I don’t have a brain tumor and that I get to spend the rest of my life watching my little boy grow up (I had additional MRI scans today and they are ruling out a brain tumor and I am scared as hell). I would give up everything I own or will own…I mean everything for that to be true.

  299. I wished for a projector on my last birthday so I can watch movies and share it with my neighbors on a huge screen at the local basketball court. Far from the City, no cinema. I sure love the peace and low cost of living here, though sometimes I miss the crowd of a cinema!

    -Wished not granted but the birthday went on (lol). If I had told my husband I’d kill myself on my birthday if no projector, you think he’ll buy me one or he’ll kill me first? <3 Anyway, the TV is okay for now. 🙂

  300. I wish someone would go upstairs and take a shower for me so I could go to work. And grocery shopping.

  301. I wish I had more confidence at a younger age.
    I wish that my husband saw all the amazing things that I see in him.

    And a house elf would be awesome too!

  302. I wish I had brought a piece of my daughters birthday cake with me to work…
    Or that I was just not at work at all, but home so I could eat cake and then go to bed.
    I wish I could sing.

  303. I wish my dad, and little brother, and then my mom hadn’t all died.

    I wish for financial independence, so I could do and have what I want and need, and so I could help others as well.

    I wish my depression and anxiety were “cured” and finally all gone.

  304. I wish I’d just fucking go into labor already.

    I have been pregnant FOREEEEEVEEEEEEEEEEEEER and I’m scared this will be a monstrous 12-pound baby who will rip my fragile body apart with the force of its passage. Not actually, of course, because I’m being as fucking positive and empowered as someone can be when they are so clearly NOT in control. But what the fuck. What the actual fuck.

    No, seriously, birth junkies who are totally judging me right now: I am somewhere between 43 and 46 weeks pregnant. The March of Dimes is satisfied. I’m totally sure it’s time.

  305. I wish I didn’t give myself panic attacks at the thought of having a panic attack. It’s a vicious and exhausting cycle.

  306. A job that is decent. Decent hours, decent distance (no car), decent co-workers and bosses, decent pay (but minimum wage is fine, too).

  307. I wish that I could get out of this hole.
    I wish that depression and anxiety didn’t have such a stronghold on my life.
    I wish that my eating disorder wasn’t mine anymore.
    In the same breath, I wish I were thin.

    I wish I had the courage to face all of these things…to not feel like I need to sign this comment as anonymous.

  308. I wish I could snap myself out of this funk so I’d feel like I was living my life again instead of just getting through it day by day. Also I wish for a baby, and for my BFF who is also trying to have one too. And I wish I could think of something funny to end this comment with.

  309. I wish I had a soulmate and I could teach my daughter what a healthy relationship is.
    i wish my daughter wanted to do things with me.
    I wish I didn’t have anxiety or depression.

  311. I wish I had just a little more money

    I wish my life was a little less uncertain

    I wish I was a mom

    I wish I owned a house

    Just a couple of things. I don’t have a job and I’m 27 so the likihood of most of those things happening any time soon are small.

  312. I wish the bio moms of the kids I’m raising could stop the self destructive cycles they are in and realize, if only for a few moments, what wonderful, amazing, astonishing, spectacular children they are missing.

  313. I wish I would have fallen in love with someone who could love me back, instead of someone who can offer nothing more than a wistful “if only…” from a distance that might as well be infinite.

  314. I wish that I hadn’t gotten myself into this place, and now that I’m here, I wish that I could just stop–maybe not forever, maybe just for five minutes, but just stop everything long enough to think and to pull things together just a little.

    I wish I were as good as mother as my kids deserve.

    I wish I were braver, wiser and more true.

  315. I don’t think there was a me before depression. But there’s a medicated me who deals with a lot less depression and anxiety now. And there was once a me who never thought it would change. She was wrong.

    I hated everything and almost everyone. I was scared and built walls and was alone.

    I had a friend who refused to give up. I got help. I’ve come a long way.

    There was never a me without chronic pain, even as a child. There will never be a me without my particular stresses. But there’s a me now with better coping skills and support. And I’m thankful for that.

    So, yeah, while I sometimes resent having to take meds to be “normal,” I’m glad that they’re there.

    So I’m gonna stick to my wish about being a badass octopus. ‘Cause I could totally drop the chronic pain and depression as an octopus. ( I rewrote the octopodal rules in my wish, remember?)

    Hey, Jenny? If I’m ever in TX, can I wave in your general direction? I’ll give you advanced warning and I can down a klonopin smoothie and then we can wave at each other across Texas and we won’t even have to leave our yoga pants.

    And all the other commenters? I love your faces. You are amazing, whether you know it or not. Things can get better. If you’re facing big things, there are places to get help. Send me a message or something. Call the crisis hotline. Go to the ER. Things can get better and if you take the first steps toward getting help and changing your life? I am so damn proud of you.

    Hell, I’m proud of you if you even considered it. This shit can be scary. <3

  316. My wishes are pretty selfish too…like you, I wish I were less scared and sad. I wish I could really talk to people. I wish I didn’t live inside my head so much. I wish someone would love me just as much as I love them – not more or less. And I wish that all the people I love most were happy and healthy.

  317. That my friend didn’t have breast cancer. She is fighting hard, but is getting tired. And her son is only three.

  318. I wish I didn’t have anxiety attacks (about money, about my age), and that my cousin/best friend was still alive, and that I had more money to sustain my family.

  319. Sometimes I wish my husband had some Xanax that he could give me for said anxiety attacks.

  320. I wish the spider I just tried to kill in the living room wasn’t so damn fast and even more I hope he stays in the living room. Thirdly, I hope to God I can sleep because right now, I really just feel like I have spiders crawling all over me.

  321. @Elizabeth T #259 – have any of your doctors mentioned the possibility of Complex Regional Pain Syndrome? If not, it’s something to ask about. Causes extreme burning pain, swelling, and sometimes discoloration in one or more joints, and also allodynia (insane pain to non-painful things, like clothes or a light touch). It’s super rare so many doctors never see it, but I think you might talk to them about it.

    I wish I could wear pants. (See also, CRPS above.)
    I wish the 1st sympathetic nerve block had worked and that I wasn’t so freaked out about getting another. So I could wear pants.
    I wish I could have a 5-day ketamine coma so I could wear pants.
    I really miss my pants.

    And I wish we had a compound that we could all live in, with hammocks and iced tea and margaritas and apple-rhubarb pie. And hugs and love and support for all of us. We’ll call the compound, Bloglandia or Jennyvania. And when we can’t sleep, we’ll lay in the hammocks and wish and watch John Hughes movies on the outdoor movie screen.

  322. I wish I could go back to when my boys were little and life was so good. I wish I didn’t have to worry about money and how I’m going to make it to payday with $29.00. I wish I could stop crying all the time.

  324. I wish my anxiety about buying our first house was not keeping me up at night.
    I wish this crazy busy summer was over.
    I wish my intern would get a clue. (Sorry not very nice, but when you have to explain the same thing more than 3 times that other people get right away …)
    I wish I could make friends more easily (perhaps I could if I were not so critical of interns 😉

    I am however thankful that my job is finally interesting again, that I have a chance to buy a house, and that I have a wonderful husband and son who love me.

  325. I wish we could find our lost dog.
    I wish my sunburn would stop peeling.
    I wish my students cared more about their education.
    I wish everything would fall into place for our next adoption.

    I also wish I could help all the hurting people commenting on here. I wish I could make you see that life is beautiful, that people are worth it, that you are not alone, an that there is always hope.

  326. I wish that my Mom hadn’t passed away. I wish I wasn’t still angry about it.
    I wish I was strong enough to change
    I wish I wasn’t morbidly obese
    I wish exercise didn’t hurt so much
    I wish I could go swimming
    I wish my husband didn’t have to deal with all the legal crap going on
    I wish my husband could be happy
    I wish we could travel together
    I wish I could help people in the other comments
    I’m so grateful for finding my tribe, for finding my soulmate and love of my life, and cats

  327. I wish my elderly parents had more financial security so I wouldn’t be worrying about where they’re going to live when the money runs out – I don’t have the room to take them in.

    I wish my brother and his family wanted to see more of me.

    I wish I had friends that wanted to see more of me.

    I wish I had my own proper artist studio with enough room for decent sized canvasses.

    I wish I’d been able to have children.

    I wish I could have got to be a grandmother because I’d have been the coolest grandma on the planet.

  328. If I could wish for anything, I would wish that my next husband would be just like Julian Ashford in “Overseas” by Beatriz Williams. I don’t much care about the rich part, but he was loving and and smart (the opposite of my soon-to-be ex-husband), and do you know how hard it is to argue with someone who has a foreign accent? You just want to shut them up by ripping their clothes off. I would happily lose every argument that way for the rest of my life.

  329. I have lots of fanciful wishes, but unfortunately the thing I wish for most these days is a job.

  330. I wish I could have my life back the way it was two years ago before I got sick, it wasn’t perfect but it is damned better than the life I have now post sickness and recovery. I’ll never be able to walk independently again and the thought of this being my reality until I die makes me not want to keep on living. this isn’t living, it’s existing.

  332. I wish I was able to socialize with groups of people without wanting to melt into the floor.

    I wish I was strong enough to use the phone more so I could get more used to it and therefore not have so much anxiety when I use the phone.

    I wish I could look in the mirror and see SOMETHING.. ANYTHING I like about myself, instead of picking up only the bad things.

    I wish I felt like enough.

  333. On 11/11/11 at 11:11:11p I crossed my fingers, shut my eyes, and wished I was normal.

  335. I wish that I could better manage my anxiety.
    I wish I didn’t have an eating disorder as a result of my inability to manage my anxiety.

  336. I wish I could redo the day I was in the accident so that I wasn’t permanently disfigured and in danger of losing my home and everything I love.

  337. I wish that my daughter’s depression was over and she never cut herself again.
    And then I’d wish for unicorns because they’re horses with freaking HORNS on their heads and anytime some dick in a big car didn’t give me enough room on the road, I’d be able to gallop after him and get the unicorn to spear him in the groin.
    Oh, and I’d also wish that my cat stopped bring in bits of dead animal overnight. The squashed mouse head between my toes this morning did not make for a good start.

  338. I wish my mom didn’t have cancer.
    I wish my sister’s health would improve.
    I wish I didn’t have CHF + menorrhagia + being on Warfarin.
    I wish I had a decent job to help take care of all the above.
    Above all, I wish I knew why elbows are called elbows instead of el-bends?
    (weird thoughts in the middle of the night).

  339. I wish I could go back and change my entire 2006 year. I wish I could tell my 28 year old self; “dude, you have an anxiety disorder. That’s what is wrong. Get help.” I wish I could erase that year from existing for me and my 2 oldest children, who had to go along for the ride.

  340. I wish I had a clue how to support my unemployed, disabled ass – because while I love doing tea leaf readings on Fiverr (seriously, I do) they aren’t covering all the little luxuries at the moment. Like food and stuff. 🙂

  341. It ISN’T selfish to wish for your own happiness & peace of mind. Whoever told you otherwise is WRONG.
    I’m gonna wish you (and the other posters) lots of happiness and courage: as far as I’m concerned you all deserve it.

    Right now I wish for a successful, fulfilling new life in the USA when I start my PhD.

  342. Oh, Jenny! Is there enough time and space for all my wishes? These are my most important wishes:
    I wish I believed in myself as much as my loved ones believe in me.
    I wish I wasn’t so afraid of my light.
    I wish I would stop sabotaging myself and letting fear rule my life.
    I wish I wouldn’t stress-eat/eat my feelings.
    I wish my soulmate would come into my life already! WHERE IS HE??
    I wish I could look in the Mirror of Erised and see myself exactly as I am.
    I wish for a job that pays me better and realizes my tremendous worth. cus I’m awesome. seriously.

  343. I wish for someone to give me one of those really good hugs, where you know you are safe and supported enough to really let go and cry if you need to.

    I wish I could sleep through the night.

    I wish I could help some of the others here with their wishes.

    I wish I didn’t have to go it alone – that someone else could help me carry the load.

    I wish my student loan was paid off.

  344. Well, i have a horse, and I wish my horse wasn’t dead lame right now.
    i wish for a truck that runs.
    i wish my cowboy hadn’t left me for his cousin.

    after reading this, i really wish my life didn’t sound like a bad country song.

  346. I wish:
    – I wasn’t so scared to talk about my problems with people who care about me
    – To be able to afford to move
    – To have more time at home with my cat
    – For a clean apartment…or at least hardwood so I could stop vacuuming

  347. I wish I had the balls to say what’s really on my mind while I’m thinking it and not have to care if anyone’s feelings are hurt.

    I wish the chemo hadn’t destroyed my teeth, because now I’m afraid to smile in public, and I love to laugh.

    I wish I could spend more time writing without being constantly interrupted because someone else thinks I’m not being sociable enough.

    I wish I could hang out with other writers who don’t think I’m weird for not wanting to make a career out of writing. I do it because I have to, like breathing.

    I wish men would consider themselves lucky just to be allowed to put their penises in women’s vaginas, and not demand all that stupid kinky crap porn actresses are paid to pretend they enjoy. When did plain, simple, tender lovemaking stop being good enough?

    I wish I didn’t have to wait until I’m alone to do the things I really enjoy.

    I wish I didn’t feel like a guest in my own home.

    I wish that negative bitch I used to hang out with years ago would stop stalking me. I’ve had to change my cell number twice and stop talking to all our mutual acquaintances just so she couldn’t use them to get to me.

    I wish I could hug a live tiger.

  348. I wish my nervous system wasn’t so sensitive that I felt the need to run away when my 6 year old opens her mouth. She’s so loud!

    I wish I could self comfort without solitude or thumb sucking or food.

    I wish I didn’t need to self comfort so often (see wish about not being so sensitive).

    I wish more people got me.

    I wish my cat could talk.

  351. I wish I could have more faith in my decisions. It’s not that I want to know the future (that would be boring), or even that I think there’s really any such thing as “the right choice” (there can be many right answers, it’s what we do with them that makes the difference), it’s just that I want to believe in my own ability to make my choices turn out in ways that I like, even if they are unexpected or not what I intended.

  353. I wish for everyone’s true wishes to come true – not necessarily the ones they think they need, but the ones they truly need to feel whole & alive & at peace & on fire with joy.

    I wish for myself (most likely in a misplaced way, as I’m terrible at knowing what I truly need.) for:
    Less reaction to pain. Less fear of the pain.
    I wish for the lump in my thumb of my dominant hand, as an artist, to not be what it probably is, and to NOT need surgery to permanently remove a nerve from it. It is my greatest tool aside from my mind & it will be unusable for up to a year, with loss of feeling for life.
    I wish I weren’t paralysed by the fear of this.

    I wish my partner felt as loved and whole and wanted and desired as he deserves, that I can’t show/give him because I’m losing my shit constantly and he is my rock and my sanity.

    I wish that I won’t miss being able to go to Norway because of my hand & chronic pain.

    I have too many wishes. In the end I just wish my body weren’t so broken.

  354. I wish I could buy my mother a house so she’d feel secure in her retirement.
    I wish I had a job that didn’t involve toxic political backlash when we’ve managed to create something amazing.
    (I’m grateful we’ve been able to create the ‘something amazing’ though, no one can take that journey away.)
    I wish I could speak Chinese.

  356. I wish I hadn’t read the comments because they make my wish seem so small.

    I just wish I could know in the moment *before* I say or do something stupid that it might hurt someone so that I could avoid it. I fail at that a little too often.

    Also, I wish everyone believed in Santa Claus. Except the adults, who would buy presents but would soon afterward forget that they bought them and believe that Santa did. Even for one another.

  357. I wish Laura, the Mother of the autistic son, knew she was NOT alone! A friend of mine with a special needs daughter recently blogged about it. It’s the one “dirty little secret” most parents with special needs children keep bottled up.
    So Laura, I wish I could let you know how normal those feelings are so you could stop eating yourself up with guilt.
    And this is sorta giving my wish away, but I always sucked at following the rules anyway.

  360. I wish I could stop looking back at my life and thinking about all that I do NOT have.
    I wish I could look forward and be excited by what is coming up instead of terrified of every curve in the road.
    I wish I had more passion.

  362. 7/7 was Tanabata in Japan. many children wrote wishes down on paper and hung them on bamboo so their wishes would go up to the heavens. Some places burn them, others put them in the river. Your blog is perfect timing! My son wrote that he wished that his drawing of a Ninja Mobile Suit Gundam robot would come true. I wished for the healthy and safe lives of bats and that people wouldn’t fear them so much. Our local bats in Japan were poisoned last year. I watched so many small beautiful bats die last year. I really wish people would appreciate these beautiful creatures more. That is my wish

  364. I wish I could find just the right hamster for my desk. I wish other stuff too but I’m just waking up. Oh wait! I know – I wish my coffee was ready.

  365. I wish I could give all of the other commenters a great big hug. Things do get better. Just through this post, already one person has connected with someone that might be able to help them access services that give them hope and make them feel whole. Keep searching for resources and supports and allies. Even when (especially when) you think you’ve exhausted everything available to you. I’m proof. I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t kept searching for what I needed.

  366. I wish I hadn’t made that left turn. I wish my husband wasn’t paralyzed at 30. And I wish he hadn’t died at 40. I wish we’d had more time.

  367. I wish I had enough money to pay off all our debt, I wish I would get a job offer that would allow us to move to the UK, I wish I was healthy enough to give my daughter a sibling, and that we could afford said sibling.

  370. I wish I could donate my eggs. It’s what I want to do – I KNOW my family is complete, with my one son. I do not want more kids. I want to do this, and everyone keeps telling me I’m young (29) I might change my mind.

    I won’t change my mind. I love him, but my passion is to be a scientist first and mother second, and I will not have another child willingly. I would love to help other people have kids though, and no-one gets it.

  372. I wish I had a job. It’s been almost a full year of me being on unemployment. I miss getting up and going to work. And being able to pay bills.

  373. I wish I was a little braver so I could come out as a writer and musician a little better. And I wish husband would find a job so I can properly practice for being a musician.

  378. I wish I had the talent to sit down and write a best seller so I could afford to be a stay at home single mom instead of a work like a freaky maniac and barely make ends meet single mom.
    I wish my daughter will have a father or father figure that deserves her love and respect
    I wish that if my daughter never has a father or father figure that deserves her love and respect, she still has excellent self esteem and interacts well with all people (men and women).

  380. After being eaten alive by mosquitoes while watching fireworks, I’d wish that I didn’t itch anymore. Then I’d make a rather nasty wish to get rid of mosquitoes. (My 6 year old, who also got bitten up, has already said “bugs shouldn’t eat people, they should eat themselves.”)

  381. No more migraines.

    I also frequently wish I was better with money: earning it, saving it, budgeting. But the head comes first.

  382. To Laura (#44), I wish that too from time to time. I feel doubly guilty because it’s become clear that I have Asperger’s & so I feel like it’s my fault for “giving it to him.” Most of all, though, I wish for the wisdom to translate my struggles into a format that he can learn from.

  383. Elizabeth @219– I am so with you it hurts. I’m sure it wasn’t a waste and I’m sure you will find love. Do the same for me if you see this?

    I wish to find pleasant, safe housing in the city I’m moving to soon, so I can quit being so anxious about that and look forward to moving because aside from leaving some dear friends, I have every reason to think it will be awesome. (Ultimately I wish that fear would quit controlling my life so much, but I’m working on that one.)

    I also wish the birds would have kept their stupid beaks shut at 4:30 because I don’t do going back to sleep. Someone send me a BB gun or something. To scare them. I’d fire into the air. PETA need not hunt me down….

  384. I wish I could I just read, instead of also feel, all y’all’s words.
    I wish knowing that many others have it worse than I do made me feel my own pain less instead of more.
    I wish we all could NOT GIVE UP, together. I’ll bet it would be easier if we did it together…

  385. I wish I had my old job back, just without the horrible bosses with no ethics that are the reason I don’t have my old job. I felt helpful and needed, and made enough to pay the utility bills and maybe get a pedicure sometimes. Now I’m just lost and broke and worried that I can’t pay the electric and buy dog food this week, or month.

    I wish I didn’t feel so sad and old and broken.

    I wish we could have had a baby. Just one. I wish I knew why us? We would have been awesome parents.

  387. I wish that people would see me as an authority figure, and not misgender me.

  389. I wished for all of your wishes. I wish I had time to meet each of you and give you a hug and tell you to keep moving forward. It gets better. I wish that for you. That it all gets better and better <3

  390. I wish my coffee cup was full.

    I wish I wasn’t in pain.

    I wish I could reach the fly bite on my back.

    I wish I found this website eons ago!

  391. I wish I could meet my partner so I wouldn’t be alone anymore.