I apologize in advance.

me:  Victor, come in here.  I think maybe Hunter S. Thomcat has a cold.

Victor:  Why?

me:  Because he’s feeling a little horse.

Victor:  That?  Is a terrible joke.

me:  You’re just upset you didn’t make it first.

Victor:  Fair enough.

PS.  Even Hunter seems chagrined at being involved in this bad of a pun.  I’m so, so sorry.  I couldn’t help myself.

180 thoughts on “I apologize in advance.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Orange juice. Nose. Ow. Love bad puns. Love visual puns more than you can imagine.

  2. I feel I should explain a bit more as the first comment, lol. (How was *I* the first comment?)

    I am having a really bad month. I am getting divorced/separated, my kid is sick, and I have no family in the area to help.

    Laughter is far and few between, but this was laugh out loud funny to me, and definitely made my morning a bit less glum. Thank you. 🙂

  3. That’s one reason why I love your blog. Sometimes it is just the boost of silly laughter needed in the middle of the day.

  4. I like how it looks like your zombie head is coming out of his head.

    It also looks like the horse is tickling his throat, maybe making his cold worse?

  5. Okay…that was funny. Not screamingly. But chuckleable.

    You can always ask Victor how he’s feeling after his humorectomy.

  6. So the basis of my doctoral thesis (which I never got around to writing) was the correlation of intelligence and sense of humor. Stupid people don’t get puns. You are one hysterically intelligent human.

  7. Oh dear god. This is what we’ve come to?


    I read an article yesterday that informed me that my cat is actually controlling my mind. I’m very upset, and have been trying to test it out all morning by staring deeply into her eyes. I think this proves the article was correct, because according to the article, her non-response indicates that she considers me prey. Dammit.

  8. I loved it! Hilarious! I’m also jealous that my dog doesn’t do funny stuff. He mostly just lies around like he has mono. I need to become a cat person…

  9. I cracked up hysterically, while reading this to my boyfriend and all I got was an eye roll. Our humor is wasted on these men!

  10. I’d have done it myself. Or my husband would have. Whichever of us saw it first.

  11. Hi Jenny,

    I just posted a comment on FB, but it occurred to me it might be easier to reach you here.
    So a fellow blogger – not-your-average-mom.com – who is a dear friend (though we’ve never met) posted something yesterday that caused me concern. She has 7 children, many still in diapers, no money, she’s just filed for bankruptcy, and it’s put her over the edge. I forced her to call me and she confirmed that she’s as the end of her rope. I rallied the on-line troops I know live near her and she’s now on her way to an overnight spa day so she can rest for 24 hours. She’s open about having borderline PD and has blogged about it, but is not getting treatment because, again, no money. And she’s in that place where the prospect of taking out the trash – let alone finding a therapist – is overwhelming. Might you be aware of a resource or be willing to reach out to your online community to see if there’s something someone knows of in her area? She’s in Brookfield Connecticut. Thank you!

  12. I love horrible puns!! I work at a bank and someone who gives us weekly emails about the mortgage rates and at the end of every email is a really bad pun. The last one was, what did the monkey say when he got his tail stuck in the door? Won’t be long now!!! Horrible but she was referencing to coming into the new year! Haha horrible but funny some how.

  13. Hmmm. I’ll come back and read this again after I’ve gone home and had my dinner with a glass of wine. I’m sure it will be funnier then. Ya know, because wine.

  14. I love seeing your cats and all the fun stuff you have in your house. That looks like the Mini Book Pendant I made for you of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened hanging on the wall behind Hunter, just above the Day of the Dead Portrait of you.

  15. Hilarious! It’s not every day you get the opportunity for a pun like that, AND your brain manages to think of it! All comedy doesn’t have to be highbrow. Well done!

  16. I totally lol’d, then had to show my friend, which caused her to start coughing lol. Never apologize for anything you blog ahhhahahahah.

  17. I saw a meme on Facebook of Puma (in Canada we call it a cougar. LOL) and it said something like “Stop it before I Puma pants!” I love bad puns! LOL

  18. The horse cannot defend itself from a cuddle like that, but it’s doing its best.

    Bad puns make the world go round. It’s the look of sheer joy on my husband’s face when he comes up with a particularly awful one that I enjoy most. 🙂

  19. I just startled my colleagues with my sudden burst of laughter. Thanks! That is exactly what this day needed! 😀

  20. i seriously busted out laughing!! thanks.

    ps. please tell me that apology was a doctor who reference, because i TOTALLY read it in Ten’s voice. ^^; #whovianproblems

  21. He is not upset about the pun — he is upset becausse you caught him red-pawed molesting a defenceless pony.

  22. I bartend. So, one day this guy walks into the bar, and he’s wearing a big rubber mask. Normally that might be concerning, cause what if he’s a robber, right? But, no, he’s just a guy in a mask. But, YOU GUYS!

    It was a horse mask.

    A guy in a horse mask walks into my bar and I say, “Why the long face?”

    Best day ever.

  23. Ha!

    The guy in the next cube asked me why Snoop Dogg carries and umbrella…I said..I don’t know..he said..fo drizzle.

    And I laughed. Which only encouraged him.

  24. I recently told my husband this joke: What do you call an alligator in a vest? AN INVESTIGATOR. He and his buddy both didn’t laugh AT ALL, and said it must be a “wife thing”. LOOKS LIKE IT IS A WIFE THING. Thanks for perpetuating the “wife thing” with bad puns and jokes, Jenny. You’re my hero.

  25. That cat!! Always such a jokester! And you shouldn’t feel bad- at my house last night, my nine year old was helping with dinner and I said “can you please cut the cheese? ” without realizing what I was saying and then laughed my head off like a four year old! Much to the disgust of my 14 year old, I might add! It’s the little things…

  26. You can lead a blogger to the comments section but you can’t make them think of an awesome horse pun. Or maybe I’m old and should just be put out to pasture.

  27. LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nothing like a good groaner to start the day! Do you know when a car is not a car? When it turns into a driveway! GROAN!!!

  28. With that it is official-you rule the planet!!! It is a planet I am glad I’m sometimes on!!!

  29. I laughed. And I want the horse. (The thing you have with dolls? I have it for plastic horses. )

  30. Mr. Thomcat is Not Amused. I think you owe him many chin and ear scritchies and a few handfuls of Friskies Party Mix–oh, I know he likes to party.

  31. First I laughed, then I recognized the horse and grinned even wider.

    My daughter & I painted that horse! Hers looks a bit zombie-ish because she wanted a pink&white horse, and she was only 5 at the time. So now I suspect hers was the one that got away from a Hunter.

    Keep up the good puns. I’m an incorrigible punster… please incorrige.

  32. I have two “yellow” cats as they call them here, and neither one are half as entertaining as Hunter S. Thomcat.

  33. I took my boys to play tennis (OK scream and run alot) and I had to go get some BALLS first.
    I have not lived that one down yet.
    HST is supremely Handsome even though he is…sick…cough…cough.

  34. I love you more than should be okay considering I’m heterosexual, married, and also don’t actually know you.

  35. Love it! LOL

    Hunter looks very dignified for a cat who is feeling “horse” or (according to that pic) feeling up a horse (hee hee)

  36. The model horse nerd in me can identify that Breyer horse in .2 seconds and find the set it came from in 1 minute. And wants to know what happened to his tail.
    The rest of me is cracking up.

    (Hailey collects them. The horses tail fell off and now there’s a giant hole in his butt. It’s ridiculous and I can’t stop laughing at it. ~ Jenny)

  37. Puns get a very bad rap.

    Puns require INTELLIGENCE.
    Think about it. Stupid people don’t make puns.

    Puns require a good vocabulary, and a playful sense of words and sounds.

    Society should celebrate, not denigrate, puns and paranomasts in general.

  38. Jenny – If you don’t run for Mare of Puntown, I’ll feel downTROTten because I’d FOALlow you anywhere. Oh Man, I CANTER believe I posted such drivel.

  39. I’ve been trying to come up with a witty pun in reply but I can’t get past the starting gate. Why did I bother? Can’t compete with you Jenny 🙂

  40. My pun-o-meter works as such: the more terrible the pun, the wider my grin. I’m grinning pretty big right now. (Internally though. This IS the internet afterall.)

  41. Just don’t try to take his horse. You will draw back a bloody stump. Oh! and close your door when you go to bed tonite, after making sure the room is clear.

  42. I wish we were friends.

    My autocorrect changed that to fish. Which is weird. But oddly, fits.

    And now I look like a crazy stalker. Great. I promise, I’m not. Anxiety would never allow me to be a stalker. And I’m lazy.

  43. And now I am trying to think of things to put with my cats so I can take pics of them and make bad jokes…

  44. Hey. you stole my cat.
    When I brought home a new cat he got pissed and stepped out, apparently all the way to Texas. Um you’re in Texas right?

    It’s ok. He’s probably happier there. I never let him play with the horses here.

  45. I needed my hips replaced-I was born with hip dysplasia- I went to the manager to get the needed paperwork to fill out for the time off. Told him what I wanted, he said, “Walk this way.” I could NOT believe that he said that…I said “If I could walk that way, I wouldn’t need my hips replaced.”

  46. Hahahaha I make similar jokes quite often. My husband is often just as bemused as Victor. Still, I will continue. I feel it is my life’s work.

  47. Cats themselves never experience chagrin — he’s only expressing his sadness at should surely be yours (and that you’ll never get to be a cat).

  48. I feel compelled to comment because 1) I laughed and 2) there are never, and I mean never, enough pictures of Hunter S. Thomcat. I love that silly ass cat. More HST please!!!

  49. I got that one immediately. Not sure what that says about me, other than…you’re probably the equivalent of my online BFF, in a totally noncreepy, unstalker-ish way. 🙂

  50. That was amazing, thank you. And just what I needed, as I try to transition into working on my own personal “soon” project. Good luck on yours!

  51. Hunter doesn’t look chagrined — he looks totally wasted. You know providing alcohol to cats is a form of animal cruelty, right? 🙂

  52. Well, I’ve been laughing all morning about the meme of a big cat captioned, “Don’t make me laugh, I might puma pants!” so I’m probably your target demographic. You’re welcome.

  53. I read the conversation, was confused, scrolled down, saw your cat and promptly laughed so loud that I scared my 14 year old daughter. AWESOME joke!!! 😀 😀 😀

  54. Laughing hysterically, til I cry. My husband says, “alright, let’s see…” he just shakes his head….I wipe tears away. Nuff said. : )

  55. Following up: I did go home and drink a glass of wine and read this again…and it was freaking hiliarious! Because wine. And I just now remembered to post this follow up…because wine.

  56. You have no IDEA how much I LOOOOOVE this!!! Bad puns are one of my weaknesses…and I don’t mean that I’m weak in making them…I make them all the dang time! What I mean is I get wobbly knees when they happen, because I laugh hysterically. Of course…no one around me is generally laughing, so as usual, I just come off as some crazy person….or co-worker….

  57. What do you call a pony with a sore throat? A little hoarse! And what do you call a herd of sheep falling down a hill? A LAMBslide! Oh! And what do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer! What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still no eye deer!
    I have more bad animal jokes, but I think I’ve tormented you enough. Thank you for your time.

  58. Wait! Never mind! Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because gorillas have big fingers!

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