A few weeks ago I started the process of getting life insurance. I work for myself and so I don’t have a company to take care of this crap for me so an insurance woman showed up with a lot of needles to draw blood, an EKG machine and a shitload of questions. I did fine except for when she asked what caused my clinical depression and I explained that it was just chemical and she explained that that wasn’t an answer and that depression had to be caused by a situation. Then I blinked and pointed out that if that were true, this very situation would be one that would give me depression.
Then yesterday I heard back and found out that I’m too much of a risk for good life insurance, which is sort of ridiculous because I’m pretty much guaranteed to die. It’s a fairly common side-effect of life. Regardless, the insurance salesman told me I could get still get insurance, but that I just wasn’t a “preferred customer”. Which sort of sounded okay actually because if you’re a “preferred life insurance customer” I think that means they’d prefer it if you died. Victor says that’s not what it means at all, but I think he’s just saying that because he qualified as “preferred” and he’s rubbing my nose in it. Regardless, I got a few policy offers even though they cost way more than any of Victor’s quotes and it sort of sucks because basically they’re charging me more to die, and it seems like that ought to be one of the few things I get to do for free.
Frankly, I can’t even tell if that’s insulting or if it’s just their way of encouraging me to outlive Victor just out of spite.