Truthfully though, the same sort of progression happens to just about anyone when they begin taking selfies…
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106 thoughts on “And that’s why cats shouldn’t be allowed phones”
Read comments below or add one.
I just laughed out loud, bit my tongue, broke my tooth and I’m still smiling. Thank you!!
My cats never do anything cool. Stupid cats.
“Holy Butthole” isn’t a curse, it’s an incantation of the cat god Butthole.
DED. DEAD FROM THE CUTE. It’s like the cat knows ….. truly knows….
Your cat is probably just one step away from his own instagram account with millions of followers. You might need to start locking your phone up in a safe when you aren’t using it.
That second picture is borderline kitty porn. Does your cat have a girlfriend/boyfriend kitty it was planning on sending those to?!
My purse once posted gobldygook to Facebook, but thank goodness it didn’t post a selfie of what is IN my purse!
I’m strangely jealous of your cat, its just not fair he can take better selfies than me.
My cat has hit the speaker on my work phone — and then stepped on redial. Now if I could just get him to lead the conference calls….
Holey butthole sounds altogether too redundant….
My dog could never figure out how to take a picture of himself. I guess what they say is true then … cats are smarter than dogs.
Death to duckface, enter catface!
That’s too cute 🙂
That’s a mighty fine kitty.
Aww cute and smart kitty! 🙂
Hahaha. Rolly takes better selfies than I do!
Awesome….and I had no idea they sucked so bad at cursing.
Someone had to do it. Why not me?
Please. Don’t apologize. “Holy butthole” was the best part!
Dang it. I screwed up my previous post. Carry on anyway.
Hey…Catface is better than duck face ANY day… plus now you have a really cute pic of the car to show off to people.
she of the rubber duck collecting.
My animals all posed and wanted full body shots, not selfies. Arrogant bastards.
Honestly your cat is much better a self taking than me. She looks puuuurfect… Sorry it had to be said
Actually, there’s an app for that! Seriously–it’s called Snapcat and it is created so your cat can take selfies. Your cat is much better at selfies than mine are (yes, it’s true, I have the Snapcat app and sometimes annoy all my FB friends by posting cat selfies). Also, Rolly? I thought your cats were Ferris Mueller and Hunter S. Tomcat. Did you get another cat? Is Rolly a third cat that you never write about? Because that doesn’t seem fair to Rolly.
(Rolly’s been around for longer than Ferris and Hunter. She’s just antisocial so I seldom get shots of her. She’s the most catlike of the cats. Standoffish and neurotic. This is her four years ago: http://thebloggess.com/2010/01/men-dont-understand-science/ )
I love Rolly…….next he’ll be playing Jenga and Cards Against Humanity with Ferris and Hunter.
Great!! I shall “forget” my phone as well and see … 😀
This was one of those I shouldn’t have taken a drink just as I started reading because water spraying from nose and mouth is not good for my laptopmoments.
Mopping up, now. . .
My only surprise is that Hunter S. didn’t get in on that action.
I wish my dogs would take selfies but they would likely eat the phone immediately after.
my friend has a guinea pig who likes to look on the ipad and take selfies.
Isn’t this why cats started the Internet?
I needed a laugh today….hur hur hur
Holy butthole in relation to cats reminds me of when my daughter said she saw the cat’s butt and it had a hole in, but she “didn’t put anything in it.”
Silly kitteh, you should wash his mouth out with… butthole.. lol.
That darn cat!
My buddy’s cat speed-dialed the fire department. And, no, it wasn’t because Steve wanted to see the handsome firemen in their rubber coats. Well, that was simply an added perk.
Considering the amount of time cats spend venerating their buttholes, I think it’s sort of apropos and is probably pretty clever in the realm of feline profanity. Frankly, you should probably consider it a blessing that those pictures didn’t involve it being preened, just for extra emphasis.
Also, are those duck lips in the last picture? How…? Cats don’t even HAVE lips!
Your cat takes better selfies than I do – which isn’t saying much. Holy Butthole!
That was possibly my most favoritest post EVER!! Thank you!
Lmfao that’s cute.
I think you are just covering for cats in general. It’s hard to imagine that cats are shit at cursing. They probably made cursing up and then blamed dogs. Dogs are REALLY shit at cursing. They are just too happy.
My cats suck! They’re fired!
Great, now I know I can’t work my iPhone as well as a cat.
Let me guess, you said, “get off my phone right meow.” Sorry, Super Troopers reference.
(License and registration, chicken fucker. ~ Jenny)
I had a ferret that used to add text to random files on my unix computer. He left help files open on the Window’s computer. Not sure what he was planning. Part of the ferret plan for world domination I assume.
I needed that laugh so much. You two made my day!
I foresee my phone being strategically, “accidentally” left on the floor for my four weirdos to find.
we just acquired a new kitten and she likes to stand on my Ipad and play Candy Crush. The movement fascinates her and she starts swiping with her paws real fast. She’s doing better than me.
Sounds a bit like something my cat would do!
This is beyond cute, funny and outstanding! Great post and thanks for the giggles!
In my house, dogs speak German, cats speak Swedish. There was once a Get Fuzzy comic that proved this. Bucky was going to run away, and very clearly seen in his backpack was a Swedish dictionary. I note this to say the following:
Holy butthole (which auto correct just tried to make Bible, fyi) is probably the most flaming curse you could ever hear from a Swede. My sister-in-law has tried to convince me that they really do swear, but I’m pretty sure what she taught me actually translates to, “I hope you have a lovely vacation,” and not, “damn it all to hell,” like she claimed. My husband’s favorite curse whence he’s feeling particularly cheeky is, “the devil and 7000 demons gosh darn it all to heck.”
So, you can’t blame your cays for being poor at cursing. Swedish just doesn’t allow it.
My cats just use my phone to order stuff on ebay.
This is why we don’t have nice things! lolz
Those photos remind me of the “kids camera” photos we had when the kids were young. Our kids got “kid tough” cameras as birthday presents when they were young. They were low resolution cameras with a rubber casing so kids could drop them and without any damage risk. We got a series of stream-of-consciousness photos from kid-height. Unfortunately, kid-height at the time was also crotch-height so many photos were not the kind we would post online. Kids also don’t know how to hold a camera still so we’d get blurry crotch photos. There was a firm “no taking photos when someone has no clothes on or when they are in PJs/underpants” rule so we were spared those photos.
Nowadays, the kids have tablets capable of much better photos. They’re more interested in using them to play games, though, than taking photos.
Oh good, a cat post. That makes this comment even slightly relevant, as well as some serious SQUEE — kitteh dr. who.
You’re right – this is basically how a set of human selfies would turn out.
My cat stepped on my phone and activated Siri. Unfortunately Siri does not speak cat.
My cat stepped on my keyboard and tried to create a tumblr account. No lie. Another time he stepped on my keyboard and tried to buy something from the Apple store. I was able to stop it because Apple asked me to verify my credit card number. Otherwise who knows what would have happened?
i’m now googling snapcat. because obviously i need this.
i mean, my CATS need this. not me. them. my cats. they want this. not me.
My friend’s cat usually posts to Facebook….. Now to get Rolly to post his selfie….
i wish more cats took selfies you must have really smart cats. you should start leaving your phones camera on all the time just in case this happens again and if yo get enough cat selfies you should start an instagram account just for your cats selfies. I’d follow!
Ok, that’s hilarious.
Rolly doesn’t get featured as much as the others. But it’s cool, he’ll just take care of that himself.
I once caught my cat reading my text messages…
Oh I needed this laugh. Thank you!
Haha love this! Cats rock!
I thought you wrote “holy buttonhole”, which by-the-way, is my new favorite phrase.
Fantastic! I think the cat’s selfies are better than some humans!
One of my cats sends text messages if I leave my phone unattended. The other one downloads albums from iTunes when I walk away from the iPad. Neither one however, has ever taken a selfie.
Very, very cute…I wish my dog was half as smart!
The second and fourth photos are amazing. Though now I’m upset that a cat is better at selfies than I am.
My cats have never taken selfies. But they have sent email from my laptop. To my clients.
Somebody call the morgue, cuz I just died laughing.
I love the selfies! If only my cat or dogs would do that. It would probably take copious amounts of meat and other treats to get them to do more than sniff my phone. Note to self, pick up some beggin’ strips at the store.
If dogs could take selfies, we’d be seeing a lot more gums and teeth. Cats are too cool for school.
What a vain cat. At least he wasn’t cleaning his butthole
That is fantastic!! Very photogenic… so I read the old post on Rolly and just watched this video on FB, maybe they are related? LOL https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExZ0i04pSeY
If the cat starts taking pics of YOU, I’d grab another camera and get proof. Because thumbs.
OMG, he is stunning!
What a gorgeous kitty. Mine have never done anything like that. Mine just steals loaves of bread off the counter.
I have chicken selfies on my phone. No joke. They’re hysterical.
This was awesome. Teen girls from around the US are going to be in their bathrooms for hours trying to recreate these poses.
Hahah that’s awesome! Also, it’s really not fair that your cat looks so good with a close up shot like that.
This is why cats absolutely SHOULD be allowed phones! Rolly is quite the skilled selfie-taker.
Could have been worse. Knowing the way cats always show it to you, it could have been “My butthole is stunning!”
I had completely forgotten about that post with Rolly on your head. She’s a gorgeous and very smart kitty. I’ll happily look at her photos any time.
I had forgotten about the post with Rolly on your head and the whole ensuing conversation. My Charles jumps up on my back whenever I bend over and hubby is always yelling at me, “This is why he jumps on everybody!” And by ‘everybody’ he means him. Charles is very gentle about, tries to land softly and all and always gives a warning chirp as he’s coming through the air at you.
OMG so funny!
There are days I kinda wish we had cats instead of dogs. Posts like this is definitely one of them!! Dogs never do cute shit like this. Well, mine don’t at least.
Looks like he just watch a food channel streaming video
That is just the cutest!!!!
I love it. Too funny. Why don’t my cats take selfies? Or be grumpy and make me millions?
It’s not enough for that they are constantly grooming. Now they can brag about their good looks on Instagram!
Further proof that cats are taking over the internet.
Ugh, my cats are all “I’m beautiful whether society agrees or not. I’m above taking selfies for a few ‘likes’ on Facebook!” And then I’m like “Binka, Shakespeare, the time has come for you to conform to society so that I can be proud of you.” And then Shakespeare starts licking his balls and Binka goes to town on her cooter. I just can’t win.
That is a super-beautiful cat. I hope you manage to get some cuddles off her – there’s nothing worse than a beautiful cat who won’t cuddle. NOTHING, you hear me! Bwwahahaha! (sorry about that)
At least he’s not twerking – although he does have that whole Miley Cyrus tongue thing going on.
That is hilarious!
So funny. And I agree, cats shouldn’t be anywhere near phones or people using them. Years ago my friend was chatting on a landline while her two cats chased each other. The one in the lead went up and over her chair and the second one went up and over her nose. And BROKE it. No kidding.
Your cat is truly talented. I mean. Beyond words.
I tried to get our pup to Facetime my hubby but he didnt answer. 🙁