And that’s why cats shouldn’t be allowed phones

in my cat's toes, Random Crap

Truthfully though, the same sort of progression happens to just about anyone when they begin taking selfies…

cat selfie

106 thoughts on “And that’s why cats shouldn’t be allowed phones”

Read comments below or add one.

  5. Your cat is probably just one step away from his own instagram account with millions of followers. You might need to start locking your phone up in a safe when you aren’t using it.

  7. My purse once posted gobldygook to Facebook, but thank goodness it didn’t post a selfie of what is IN my purse!

  8. I’m strangely jealous of your cat, its just not fair he can take better selfies than me.

  9. My cat has hit the speaker on my work phone — and then stepped on redial. Now if I could just get him to lead the conference calls….

  11. My dog could never figure out how to take a picture of himself. I guess what they say is true then … cats are smarter than dogs.

  23. Hey…Catface is better than duck face ANY day… plus now you have a really cute pic of the car to show off to people.

    ~Amanda Rose~
    she of the rubber duck collecting.

  26. Honestly your cat is much better a self taking than me. She looks puuuurfect… Sorry it had to be said

  27. Actually, there’s an app for that! Seriously–it’s called Snapcat and it is created so your cat can take selfies. Your cat is much better at selfies than mine are (yes, it’s true, I have the Snapcat app and sometimes annoy all my FB friends by posting cat selfies). Also, Rolly? I thought your cats were Ferris Mueller and Hunter S. Tomcat. Did you get another cat? Is Rolly a third cat that you never write about? Because that doesn’t seem fair to Rolly.

    (Rolly’s been around for longer than Ferris and Hunter. She’s just antisocial so I seldom get shots of her. She’s the most catlike of the cats. Standoffish and neurotic. This is her four years ago: http://thebloggess.com/2010/01/men-dont-understand-science/ )

  28. I love Rolly…….next he’ll be playing Jenga and Cards Against Humanity with Ferris and Hunter.

  30. This was one of those I shouldn’t have taken a drink just as I started reading because water spraying from nose and mouth is not good for my laptopmoments.

    Mopping up, now. . .

  36. Holy butthole in relation to cats reminds me of when my daughter said she saw the cat’s butt and it had a hole in, but she “didn’t put anything in it.”

  39. My buddy’s cat speed-dialed the fire department. And, no, it wasn’t because Steve wanted to see the handsome firemen in their rubber coats. Well, that was simply an added perk.

  40. Considering the amount of time cats spend venerating their buttholes, I think it’s sort of apropos and is probably pretty clever in the realm of feline profanity. Frankly, you should probably consider it a blessing that those pictures didn’t involve it being preened, just for extra emphasis.

    Also, are those duck lips in the last picture? How…? Cats don’t even HAVE lips!

  45. I think you are just covering for cats in general. It’s hard to imagine that cats are shit at cursing. They probably made cursing up and then blamed dogs. Dogs are REALLY shit at cursing. They are just too happy.

  48. Let me guess, you said, “get off my phone right meow.” Sorry, Super Troopers reference.

    (License and registration, chicken fucker. ~ Jenny)

  49. I had a ferret that used to add text to random files on my unix computer. He left help files open on the Window’s computer. Not sure what he was planning. Part of the ferret plan for world domination I assume.

  52. we just acquired a new kitten and she likes to stand on my Ipad and play Candy Crush. The movement fascinates her and she starts swiping with her paws real fast. She’s doing better than me.

  55. In my house, dogs speak German, cats speak Swedish. There was once a Get Fuzzy comic that proved this. Bucky was going to run away, and very clearly seen in his backpack was a Swedish dictionary. I note this to say the following:

    Holy butthole (which auto correct just tried to make Bible, fyi) is probably the most flaming curse you could ever hear from a Swede. My sister-in-law has tried to convince me that they really do swear, but I’m pretty sure what she taught me actually translates to, “I hope you have a lovely vacation,” and not, “damn it all to hell,” like she claimed. My husband’s favorite curse whence he’s feeling particularly cheeky is, “the devil and 7000 demons gosh darn it all to heck.”

    So, you can’t blame your cays for being poor at cursing. Swedish just doesn’t allow it.

  59. Those photos remind me of the “kids camera” photos we had when the kids were young. Our kids got “kid tough” cameras as birthday presents when they were young. They were low resolution cameras with a rubber casing so kids could drop them and without any damage risk. We got a series of stream-of-consciousness photos from kid-height. Unfortunately, kid-height at the time was also crotch-height so many photos were not the kind we would post online. Kids also don’t know how to hold a camera still so we’d get blurry crotch photos. There was a firm “no taking photos when someone has no clothes on or when they are in PJs/underpants” rule so we were spared those photos.

    Nowadays, the kids have tablets capable of much better photos. They’re more interested in using them to play games, though, than taking photos.

  62. My cat stepped on my phone and activated Siri. Unfortunately Siri does not speak cat.

  63. My cat stepped on my keyboard and tried to create a tumblr account. No lie. Another time he stepped on my keyboard and tried to buy something from the Apple store. I was able to stop it because Apple asked me to verify my credit card number. Otherwise who knows what would have happened?

  64. i’m now googling snapcat. because obviously i need this.

    i mean, my CATS need this. not me. them. my cats. they want this. not me.

  65. My friend’s cat usually posts to Facebook….. Now to get Rolly to post his selfie….

  66. i wish more cats took selfies you must have really smart cats. you should start leaving your phones camera on all the time just in case this happens again and if yo get enough cat selfies you should start an instagram account just for your cats selfies. I’d follow!

  67. Ok, that’s hilarious.

    Rolly doesn’t get featured as much as the others. But it’s cool, he’ll just take care of that himself.

  73. One of my cats sends text messages if I leave my phone unattended. The other one downloads albums from iTunes when I walk away from the iPad. Neither one however, has ever taken a selfie.

  75. The second and fourth photos are amazing. Though now I’m upset that a cat is better at selfies than I am.

  78. I love the selfies! If only my cat or dogs would do that. It would probably take copious amounts of meat and other treats to get them to do more than sniff my phone. Note to self, pick up some beggin’ strips at the store.

  83. If the cat starts taking pics of YOU, I’d grab another camera and get proof. Because thumbs.

  85. What a gorgeous kitty. Mine have never done anything like that. Mine just steals loaves of bread off the counter.

  88. Hahah that’s awesome! Also, it’s really not fair that your cat looks so good with a close up shot like that.

  91. I had completely forgotten about that post with Rolly on your head. She’s a gorgeous and very smart kitty. I’ll happily look at her photos any time.

  92. I had forgotten about the post with Rolly on your head and the whole ensuing conversation. My Charles jumps up on my back whenever I bend over and hubby is always yelling at me, “This is why he jumps on everybody!” And by ‘everybody’ he means him. Charles is very gentle about, tries to land softly and all and always gives a warning chirp as he’s coming through the air at you.

  94. There are days I kinda wish we had cats instead of dogs. Posts like this is definitely one of them!! Dogs never do cute shit like this. Well, mine don’t at least.

  98. It’s not enough for that they are constantly grooming. Now they can brag about their good looks on Instagram!

    Further proof that cats are taking over the internet.

  99. Ugh, my cats are all “I’m beautiful whether society agrees or not. I’m above taking selfies for a few ‘likes’ on Facebook!” And then I’m like “Binka, Shakespeare, the time has come for you to conform to society so that I can be proud of you.” And then Shakespeare starts licking his balls and Binka goes to town on her cooter. I just can’t win.

  100. That is a super-beautiful cat. I hope you manage to get some cuddles off her – there’s nothing worse than a beautiful cat who won’t cuddle. NOTHING, you hear me! Bwwahahaha! (sorry about that)

  101. At least he’s not twerking – although he does have that whole Miley Cyrus tongue thing going on.

  103. So funny. And I agree, cats shouldn’t be anywhere near phones or people using them. Years ago my friend was chatting on a landline while her two cats chased each other. The one in the lead went up and over her chair and the second one went up and over her nose. And BROKE it. No kidding.

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