This was supposed to be a post about how awesome towels are but then my cat Rolly fucked it all up. I was going to share my discovery about how if you wrap your hair up in a tight towel-turban when you’re upside down after a shower it pulls your face-skin back so it’s all taut and you look like you just had a mini-face-lift which is cool because you can combat the I-feel-vulnerable-because don’t-have-any-make-up-on problem with the but-I-do-have-a-youthful-fake-face-lift thing, but then when I was setting up my camera my cat jumped on my head. And technically she does that almost every morning but this particular morning I was trying to document my towel discovery and it was fucking up the whole look, but then I noticed that the weight of the cat body actually pulled the towel further back and made the face-lift thing even more dramatic. Which was kind of great except that she’s so fat that she sqwooshed my neck so I looked even less swan-like than usual but then I thought maybe it was an okay trade-off because her height gave me the illusion of being taller (which is slimming) so then I was totally conflicted and so I went and asked Victor, “Be honest…does does this cat make me look fatter…or younger?” and he just kind of stared at me and I’m all “Seriously, this is not a trick question. This is for science.” And then he was all “You know, you’re the reason why that damn cat jumps on everyone’s head. If you’d stop letting her ride around like that we’d have a lot less people complaining that our cat attacked their head” and then I was all “I’m not even going to talk to you while you’re being ridiculous” and I walked away because Victor’s mother doesn’t count as “everyone” and besides, the cat was probably just trying to make her look younger. Or fatter. Hard to tell with cats.
PS. This is exactly why I keep a tripod set up in my bathroom. And also, it makes people take faster showers because they never know if the camera is going to go off. So I’m saving water and inventing beauty tips. And also I’m making cats more useful. You’re welcome, America.
I showed this picture to Victor and he was all "Is that my toothbrush?!" like *that's* the pertinent issue. Victor needs to get his priorities straightened out. And also have no idea if that's his toothbrush. I'm way to busy doing science to pay attention to trivial shit like that.
Comment of the day: Clearly, to activate the scientific part of your brain you need a cat to sit on it. That’s why Einstein’s hair was so fucked up. He didn’t want people to see the cat. He wanted all the credit. ~ a
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You’re a science genius. Also bizarrely beautiful with a cat on your head. And why is Victor concerned about his toothbrush? doesn’t he kiss you? isn’t that sharing germs, too?
There are about 5 million easy lay-up pussy jokes here, but I don’t roll like that.
.-= Daddy Scratches´s last blog ..I FINALLY got to use my passport! =-.
Would come up with a witty comment, but am too busy dying with laughter at Daddy Scratches’ comment.
.-= Chookooloonks´s last blog ..milestone =-.
I used to have a bird that would ride on my head. This would be even more awesome, especially since my cats don’t poop when they get excited.
I love you more today than yesterday. But not as much as tomorrow.
This is so funny! Thanks for the laugh this morning and I’m so glad you added the pics b/c I was having a really hard time understanding how your cat sits on your head. Wow…you both have very good balance!
.-= Leslee Horner´s last blog ..Lessons From Benjamin Button =-.
Extremely useful scientific data. Thank you for serving your country.
.-= Daniel´s last blog ..Call Forth the Pastors of Online Ministry =-.
You can brush your teeth and not have toothpaste run all down your face? THAT’S impressive.
.-= Mr Lady´s last blog ..Peter Pan =-.
You should have brushed the cat’s teeth, too. That would have really pissed Victor off!!
When I do experiments like this (not with cats, I’m allergic), my husband is all “You should get a day job”.
.-= Zak´s last blog ..It’s Like Animal Planet But With Less Knowledge =-.
Somewhere deep in the bowels of Ukraine, domains for specialty porn sites are being registered by the dozen. Mazel tov on your new career as allofsexycatlady.com!
.-= That Kind of Girl´s last blog ..TKOG Who drops her pants at the drop of … more pants =-.
What I want to know is where do you get a blue cat like that, because I want one! Also, Rolly is a very flattering color on you.
I’m going to let you decide whether or not to break this to kitty, but having a Bloggess underneath her makes her (the kitty) look fatter AND older. It’s the contrast (he said sycophantically).
Great. Now I’ll have Laurie Berkner in my head all day long…
My mom has got a cat on her head…
My mom has got a cat on her head…
My mom has got a cat on her head…
Aaaaand sheeee keeps it there all day…
Ditto what Katie said. In the words of Smokey Robinson, I second that emotion.
.-= Jay Schryer´s last blog ..The Miracle =-.
That pussy looks fabulous on your head!
.-= singlemomma_cc´s last blog ..Im turning over a new marijuana leaf =-.
The second picture makes Rolly look all regal like he/she’s leading an army across a frozen river and your towel-head is the bow of the ship.
I am inspired.
.-= Houston´s last blog ..Not Angry, Just Tired =-.
Trying to figure out what is in that photo/drawing on the wall behind you.
ouch. stop it….my stomach hurts from the laughing. =)
.-= pgoodness´s last blog ..This Body =-.
i had a cat that would sleep on my face at night. she wouldn’t be there when i fell asleep, but i would wake up in the middle of the night freaking out because i couldn’t breathe because she was suffocating me and then i’d grab her off my face and she’d freak out and claw my poor wrists to shreds and i’d throw her across the room because i was freaking out so much and she wouldn’t bother me for the rest of the night. i felt bad for throwing her, but SHE WAS KILLING ME so i think i was actually very merciful.
.-= Becca´s last blog ..027 =-.
Neil, the picture behind me is just a bunch of old Mucha ads. I’m a big Mucha fan.
My god that is hilarious!
I am all for making cats more useful. Awesome post!
Well, clearly, to activate the scientific part of your brain, you need a cat to sit on it. That’s why Einstein’s hair was so fucked up – he didn’t want people to see the cat – he wanted all the credit.
.-= a´s last blog ..Show and Tell – Farm Life =-.
My cat likes to sit on my shoulder. I thought that was kind of fucked up. Until now.
.-= Miss Yvonne´s last blog ..Happy Needlestick To Me…Updated To Include A Smoking Unicorn! =-.
You’re doing it wrong. If you shave the cat first, then you’ll look younger. I’m not sure about thinner. I’m pretty sure that you’re the exact perfect weight that you should be. (That answer seems to be the safest….for me)
Bloggess – She of the Furry Crown
Ruler of Bathroom Towel Facelifts
Purveyor of Camera Intimidation
Sharer of Tooth Brushes
We are your servants
Ok, the next cat I get will be a head-riding cat, because I could certainly use a little face lift action. But it would have to be a lighter cat because a heavy cat could hurt my neck too much. Perhaps I’ll just try to teach the current boy-cat (who is rather light and dumb enough to do this sort of thing) to sit on my towel. The current girl-cat is really not interested in participating in any type of experiments, even though she looks remarkably like the cat on your head.
.-= Kelly´s last blog ..Fractal No. 236 =-.
Your sample size is too small for a proper scientific study. I’d suggest rounding up about 500 volunteers. They can use their own towels but, for the sake of consistency, you’ll need to supply the cat.
perhaps tomorrow you can school us on the exact tightness of the towel twirling. because while the jaw fat lifts I look like I’m in a wind tunnel. i’m thinking this is a physics thing. i failed physics.
.-= Tiffany´s last blog ..In the boudoir: What’s for dinner? =-.
I already wrote a poem about how underappreciated the towel is called “Ode to the Towel” so really your cat just saved you from a lot of embarrassment. She probably read it along with the other eight people and when she heard you were going to write something similar jumped on your head to stop you from doing something stupid. So really, you should be thanking her.
.-= Bejewell´s last blog ..The Twilight Zone =-.
Can I borrow your towel, my car just hit a water buffalo.
.-= William´s last blog ..Best Instructions =-.
Can you repost this in a couple years when I have to do my kid’s science fair project?
.-= Paula´s last blog ..New Year’s Resolution: Pointless =-.
I peed a little from laughing so hard. Thanks
.-= Angie´s last blog ..Happy New Year…or something like that =-.
Did you take those with the remote or is your camera set up to automatically shoot multiple shots in a row? I’m just curious because of the potty-implications. I mean if Victor is taking his morning constitutional does his movement into the bathroom set off the camera or do you stand just outside the door with the remote and giggle? Either way it would keep him from lingering and he might even decide to drop his duce at some place more private like a gas station. (Wondering if this would work at my house…)
.-= Michelle´s last blog ..Meat Loaf =-.
That. Is. Awesome. Now I want to teach my cats to do that. Except I have three cats, and I’m not sure if my neck can hold that much extra weight. Hmm.
.-= Anne´s last blog ..Perks Of Grownup-hood: Staying Up Late, Not Falling Down This Time, and FOOD =-.
Now you need to figure out how to make your cat jump on people’s heads while they are taking a shower, and the camera is about to go off. That’s when you’ll save water, make people look younger/fatter, AND take possibly unflattering photos of them running out of the shower…
You crack me up! Oh, and your cat too.
.-= Nathalie Lussier´s last blog ..Mindful Monday: Winter Greens Edition =-.
that’s a cat, i win again
.-= maybe furiousBall? i don’t know´s last blog ..linkage =-.
I love the towel face-lift effect. I wish it would catch on outside of the bathroom. Younger tighter skin all day and you wouldn’t even have to spend time doing your hair. Fabulous. Maybe with your help and the gorgeous cat accessory you have shown to the world it will be the next greatest fashion fad. Once again you have single handedly given me hope for the future.
Also, I can’t believe that Victor is worried that you are using his toothbrush to brush your teeth. I would think he would realize that he should be so much more worried what else you have done with it, in the name of science of course.
So would an American Shorthair be a slimming cat? If so, does that make a Bengal the new accessory of the season? What would a Tabby be? A Calico? Does this mean Yorkies are out and cats are in? Omg, I’m so confused now! What’s the new trend forpet accessorization? I’m a single gay man and I can’t afford to be confused about these things. Thanks!
.-= Uriah´s last blog ..Random Adventures and Why I Should be Kept on a Leash at All Times =-.
I was just thinking the other day that I need a tripod in my bathroom. It’s settled.
.-= Summer´s last blog ..Faux Finish AND It’s Architectural Capabilities, Who Would HAVE F***ing Figured? =-.
OMG
You must have neck muscles that rival those of Lou Ferrigno’s.
That cat is fuckin’ huge!
.-= WildlyBland´s last blog ..Hobos For Sale =-.
Your cat is obviously magical, since my cat is also a longhaired fattie and when she tries to stay on my head, she falls off immediately. Taking large chunks of ear with her.
So THAT is what cats are for. I’m glad you told me because I have been trying to find a use for mine and since she hasn’t proven to be useful yet, I was considering giving her to charity or selling her in a garage sale or something. One person’s junk, you know? Not that I am talking about your junk. Or Victor’s junk. Or your cat’s junk.
Sigh…now I just made myself 100% more creepy.
.-= melistress´s last blog ..Nany Nany Booboo Flaps =-.
I would totally have to wash my hair again if a cat made a nest on my head like that.
.-= annie´s last blog ..The Cutesy FaceBook Breast Cancer Awareness Meme =-.
At least you weren’t brushing the cat’s teeth with Victor’s toothbrush, what’s his gripe?
Jeff’s the same way about his toothbrush. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve brought him down by simply saying, “Dude, you’ve been INSIDE of me. The toothbrush should be the LEAST of your worries.” (I would tell you that our cats look exactly alike, but then I’d be one of those people who tell you that our cats look exactly alike.) ((They do.))
.-= Angela´s last blog ..I’m packing a firestarter, Drew Barrymore. =-.
Hmm.. couldn’t you just use the cat to dry your hair? Would the facelift still work then? You might look thinner and younger then. Not sure – I know that no one would dare tell you you didn’t look good (… to your face).
.-= My Baby Sweetness´s last blog ..01.11.10 =-.
I suppose you think the cat on your head is going to distract us from the evidence that YOU ARE WEARING MAKEUP in this photo! The cat is not responsible for you looking thinner OR younger. It’s the lipstick, babe, the LIPSTICK. And you know, a Siamese on your head would make you look even thinner, especially if you add blush high on your cheekbones.
.-= V-Grrrl @ Compost Studios´s last blog ..A fresh take on valentines =-.
True, but lipstick doesn’t count as make-up because I wear it in the shower. And when I’m sleeping. And when I get up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night. You think I’m joking but I’m not. I have lipstickaphobia.
Not just America, Jenny: the WORLD!
And only you would have a cat like that. Brilliant.
.-= Pam´s last blog ..Fur coat weather? =-.
I was going to say how happy I am that my cats don’t ride on my head since there are four of them and they would totally be fighting over the priviledge. Only then I saw Craig’s comment and now I have Laurie Berkner stuck in my head. THANKS A LOT CRAIG!
Younger, you definitely look younger. It’s the softness of the cat, er, I mean your skin.
.-= Becky Mochaface´s last blog ..Book Review: Heaping Spoonful =-.
Quite simply, you’re beautiful. Even without the cat.
.-= headbang8´s last blog ..I refuse to participate in your neurosis =-.
Cats are useful for keeping brains warm.
And I think you mean ‘lipstickophilia’.
.-= Mrs Jones´s last blog ..New Craft Projects =-.
I want to apologize on behalf of the commenters that nobody bothered to tell you whether you looked younger and/or thinner until comment 26. Even after that, there’s only a few that bother to address your scientific study.
So, here it is:
If I worked at a bar and you came in, I’d card you. But I’d also tell you that the cat wasn’t allowed in the bar (which would give you neck height upon removal), and I’d try not to stare at the towel on your head. Because I’m polite like that.
.-= Theresa Milstein´s last blog ..Not Just Yet =-.
This is even better than a mini-facelift though because your cat makes you look very graceful and balanced.
.-= Miss Grace´s last blog ..{W}rite of Passage – The Job =-.
That’s a badass cat hat!
.-= Ed Adams´s last blog ..The Old Guy Office Mate Interview World Premiere!!! =-.
There really are no words to adequately describe your awesomeness.
.-= Kristine´s last blog ..The view from down there is somethin’ alright! =-.
That cat is so much better than Dooce’s dog that balances everything on its head. You look great with a cat on your head. And it certainly is a fatso cat, (sorry, no offense to the cat), so you must really have a strong neck. Kudos to you for having such fit neck muscles. How does one exercise the neck? You know what…never mind.
.-= joann mannix´s last blog ..Christmas With Giada, Contessa and Cranberries =-.
You know, if you squint and imagine your cat looks more like a pineapple than a cat, then you look almost exactly like Carmen Miranda. Ole! She also looked pretty young and tall so you must be on to something. Your PhD is in the mail.
I invented this years ago when my cat Digger would jump on my Al Qaeda’d head. He died in 1998. You do the math.
that’s exactly why i don’t have a cat, cause you’ll never know what their intention is. i’m deeply impressed that you can handle living with a cat. and that you’re obviously not scared to death when she jumps on your head! i would shit my pants and try to find a safe place to hide, where the cat wouldn’t find me. which would be problesome, cause i’m sure that damned cat would find me. are you sure your cat isn’t planning a brain surgery and running tests for that while she’s on your head? please take care! who else on earth is capable of saving the world if not you.
Did you photoshop Rolly’s eyes to match the towel?
.-= Stephanie Smirnov´s last blog ..The Bra Color Meme: So What? =-.
The cat totally makes you look younger. And also more exotic. I really see this whole cat/towel/turban trend taking off. I’m off to see which cat of ours makes me look the youngest. Thank you for the fabulous beauty tip!!
♥Spot
.-= Spot´s last blog ..I’m just a blogger… =-.
How do you do it, Jenny? Make cats, towels, and toothbrushing funny? Day after day? We didn’t know that we needed cat/towel/toothbrush humor, but then you write something like this and we think: “Life was colorless and bland before that day.”
.-= Asha {Parent Hacks}´s last blog ..links for 2010-01-10 =-.
I’ll have to show this to my husband. I keep trying to tell him that our cats are not useless, but he just doesn’t listen!
The answer to your original question is YOUNGER. The cat makes you look younger.
.-= MidLifeMama´s last blog ..SAVE TED =-.
This is EXACTLY how Stephen Hawking started out in the world of scientific discoveries.
Of course, he COULDN’T get the cat off of his head, but whatever. Science is science, cat head or not.
.-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Doodler Dandy Does Dallas Part Dos =-.
I’ve been trying for past 10 minutes to tweak “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof” for this occasion and while you’re hot you are neither a roof nor tin so it’s not funny.
I can’t even handle how ridiculous this post is. Also, how stupid the comments are on the consumerist post about you. That is also ridiculous.
I am a lipstick junkie, too. I wear it to bed. And if I asked you to open your purse right now and count how many lipsticks were in there, I’d beat you because there are more in mine.
My cat asks if your cat is a Siberian Forest cat?
.-= The Expatresse´s last blog ..The High Cost of Healthcare =-.
Close. She’s a Norwegian forest cat. Also, I only have one lipstick tube in my purse but I have many hidden in drawers around the house so I’m never more than a few feet from one in case a beam falls on me and I get trapped.
Fuck…That is terrifying! I’m never coming to your house because I’m completely freaked out by cats hurling themselves at my face.
.-= Harna´s last blog ..Over The Hump =-.
You just know there is a cat rights group out there ready to send you nasty emails about the exploitation of cats in beauty and fashion and how you’re hurting his self-esteem and sh*t. CATS ARE NOT BEAUTY AIDS! THEY ARE ON THIS WORLD TO LOUNGE, TRIP YOU, AND GIVE US DIRTY LOOKS IF WE DO NOT FEED THEM NOW!
By the way, will my cat make me look younger if he sits on my head in the morning before I get out of bed?
.-= Veronica´s last blog ..Shame on Me =-.
Do you have photo No. 1 available in wallet size? It looks like a coonskin cap, only with a cat.
I thought when you said your cat sat on your head, you really meant your shoulder or something, but NO. That cat’s on your HEAD. Impressive, really!
I think this qualifies you to be one of those Vegas showgirls who wear the 20-lb headdresses on stage.
(Beautiful cat, BTW!)
.-= Mandi´s last blog ..Blissdom ‘10 =-.
I’m still trying to figure out how you get the turban to stay on with the cat on it. I have a hard enough time just trying to keep the turban from falling off after I wash my hair with no cat involved. What is your secret to the “purrfect” towel turban? Also, I’m wondering if it’s too late to teach my cat to do this? It would totally freak out the dog.
The first thing I’d do if I were ever in your house would be trying to get your cat on my head. We had a cat that would jump onto our shoulders from the ground, but that slacker never did make it to our head. That is just the most awesome thing.
(and I agree with the person who posted about the bird on their head—-I’ve had a couple of those but they do get excited too easily and then you’ve got poop on your head).
.-= Fairly Odd Mother´s last blog ..Hug first, ask questions later =-.
Is that towel from Bed Bath & Beyond? Love, the Victor Fan Club.
.-= BOSSY´s last blog ..Bossy: Reading So You Don’t Have To =-.
I was trying to visualize how the cat could be on your head. At first I thought you must be lying on your bed, the cat is sitting on your head, and you’re taking self portraits (you know when you hold your hand out in front of you and cut off half your face?)
Who knew the cats was actually ON your head? I’m impressed.
These photos are too awesome. Please assign LOLCATS captions to them, please?
You are freaking Ador. Able. Also? Total genius. Additionally? Hilarious.
One more reason why I think I should get a cat. (And one more why my husband will respond with an emphatic, “NO!” Men. They don’t understand science OR pets.
.-= Lynn @ Walking With Scissors´s last blog ..In honour of New Year’s Day =-.
I’m with Summer. I need a tripod in my bathroom. Why don’t you just smack a web cam on that bad boy with a live feed and bill five zillion dollars for access. It’s not false advertising if there really is “pussy after a shower.”
.-= Elly Lou´s last blog ..The Benefits of Breasts When Swimming =-.
Oh yeah!? Well my husband rides around on my head and makes me call him Dr. Take that, Science!
.-= Julie´s last blog ..Cold Mountain meets the Donner Party, Resolution #4 =-.
I’m not going to let my cat see those pictures because she would totally sit on my head if she had the chance. Right now, she’s more interested in wrapping herself around my neck so I sit all hunched forward, keeping me from getting any actual work done. That’s probably a bad thing.
.-= Twitter Fail´s last blog ..Guy Kawasaki did not invent that motorbike… =-.
You look marvelous. You needn’t be obsessing about looking younger…
.-= tokenblogger´s last blog ..New blog post… =-.
Just beautiful dah-ling! I have a few cats, so I can relate…
You definately look gorgeous and fuck any body that dis agrees. And besides you must be special or no cat would even bother adorning you like that.
Your cat totally makes you look younger, not fatter. Victor should be honored if you were using his toothbrush! WTH is his problem, anyway?
.-= Kendahl´s last blog ..Tropical Traditions Review & Giveaway! =-.
I’m giggling so hard I about wet myself
The pictures just topped the vision off of you walking around with a cat on your head LMAO
.-= Carol P´s last blog ..Winter Slump =-.
I laughed so hard the people at work think I’m going crazy again.
I love the “I’ve just had a face-lift look”that I get from wrapping my hair in a towel. I use “spa head wraps” (turban towels) because I can never quite get my towels to stay on my head properly so I have to walk around with my head tilted for it to stay on and it’s not very attractive or comfortable. Of course, the spa head wraps may not work well for you because they definitely wouldn’t make you look taller or provide a comfy place for your cat to rest.
.-= momsmith´s last blog ..I may have a fever. A fever involving a baby. Otherwise known as "baby fever". =-.
This is great. I have a cat that rides on my shoulder. But you win. And the mother-in-law? She had it coming.
.-= Amy´s last blog ..Ten things =-.
Le chat est sur le bloggess.
Amy Winehouse had better look out. You have far better hair accessories.
.-= Mr Farty´s last blog ..Whale Meat Again* =-.
HOW the heck to you get that towel to stay around your body… I can’t ever get my towel to stay up! Is it BIG boobies or is it SMALL boobies… is it super glue… ? ? ?
what’s science-y to me is that your cat can jump onto, balance, sit, and lie on peoples’ (yours and your MIL apparently) heads. i thought that was science fiction until today. science wins again through photographic evidence.
.-= Lusty Reader´s last blog ..Library Loot: eclectic as usual =-.
The cat leaping on the head is a deterrent to unwelcome, anti-kitty houseguests. It’s sort of like a test. If they can deal with the cat attack, they can stay. What’s the problem with that? The cat lives there, the people are just visiting. Who’s more important?
Psst, the cat does make you look taller, but it can’t make you look better. You already look awesome.
This is how egyptian head-dresses got started you know… History. We are doomed to repeat it.
P.S. I love the blue cat. Pimpin.
I’ll be honest with you. The cat is making a mockery of you and science.
.-= sarah´s last blog ..Preguntas, Por Favor =-.
Out of the six cats that live at my house (only two of which are actually mine…the rest are other two roommates) we have never had the pleasure of cat on head. I will start training on this at ONCE.
I am writing down the tripod idea right now…**slaps self on forehead** WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT!
.-= Jess´s last blog ..Upstairs Fucktard Asshats =-.
Can your cat jump on heads on command? Because that would be awesome. As soon as you get sick of a guest you could say the magic word and BAM! cat attack!
.-= melissa´s last blog ..Tune In =-.
All that pussy would make my head feel funny too! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
(*vaudeville ha-cha-cha-cha dance. Giant hook comes out*)
.-= Kurt´s last blog ..Art Imitating Life Imitating Dinosaurs =-.
I think you and your cat should hit the street as performers.
Did you watch undeclared? Marshall, when drunk, decides that he needs an animal to carry around to look cool…
It’s just like this except you’re awesome.
.-= Deidre´s last blog ..Peanut Butter and JELLY, sing it with me now… =-.
Jesus LORD you are funny.
I’ve obsessively kept coming back to this page just to see your cat sitting on your head.
I think I might I need help.
-T
.-= Tony´s last blog ..The Six-Year-Old Argument =-.
This is hilarious and awesome. How can I get my cat to ride around on my head?
And all along I’ve been using mousse in my hair.
.-= Lynn from For Love or Funny´s last blog ..I look better covered in snow. =-.
I’m sorry – this made me giggle. Cats would make for great face-life tools, were it not for their claws (which are better face-removing tools).
I feel entirely jealous. I wish either of my cats would sit on my head like that.
.-= Salt´s last blog ..Hair-ror. =-.
I’m pretty sure your cat is wondering whether you make her look better!
“Be honest. Does this person make me look fierce or fat?”
1. I like your new hat.
2. PETA called.
3. The cat is still alive judged by the series of shots so they are ok with it eventually.
4. I always thought movies lied when they showed people with make-up looking glamorous right when they got out of bed. Now I know: I was wrong. Fabulous people can always manage to look like that. Even after they just had sex.
5. Please walk straight to Patent office and file this age-reverse method.
6. ADA called. They would like to use these pictures of their next member newsletter.
7. Have to admit: I was hoping for the towel to fall off… (yeah, I am female and straight but you are something else m’lady…)
.-= submom´s last blog ..Forget about WTF Wednesday… =-.
im pretty sure the cat is pissed that you are using her toothbrush
.-= fidget´s last blog ..Coping (or not) =-.
Wow, not that’s one awesome study right there! LOL Too friggin funny!
Man, I’m feeling a little jipped in life. All my cat does is pee on the bathroom bathmat, and lick his back hair off.
Can you wear that thing outside?
I must say that I envy how young that cat makes you look. I wish my kitties could learn to sit on my head so that I could get a free facelift every now and then. Not to mention Rolly on a towel makes for a pretty damn fashionable headpiece…
I have got to train my cat to do this. She’s not nearly as useful.
.-= alienman´s last blog ..Reporting in from Portland! + New Scarf =-.
Seriously. This is amazing.
.-= LittleMissEnglishTeacher´s last blog ..Another rant about something maternity related … =-.
FYI, do not work on your eyebrows when your hair is back in the towel and your face is looking great. Really. Once the towel is gone, people are going to ask you about rick-rack brows being a new statement. Not that I would know.
You know, a lot of marriages end because people get bored. Victor is lucky to have someone who cares about science AND having a healthy marriage!
.-= Summer´s last blog ..Sushi? There’s a First Time For Everything =-.
Alls my husband could say when he saw the picture is “that’s a big cat!” which I assume is his way of saying you are very tiny and quite possibly so small you are near nonexistant…
.-= Stephanie´s last blog ..Enough Already! =-.
I don’t think ‘science’ means what you think it means.
.-= A Free Man´s last blog ..May no man’s reins ever chain you =-.
I have a high-maintenance (for a cat) diabetic cat and I have long wondered what she could do to give back in the relationship (being adorable is nice but doesn’t always cut it). Now I know. Since all the money I would have otherwise saved up for a mini-face-lift went to pricey cat kibble and insulin over the years, she owes me at least the temporary illusion of younger, tighter skin. I’m takin’ this “cat-on-your-head” thing for a test drive…
.-= Snarkier Than You´s last blog ..Male Strippers, a Van & Twitarded has a Play Date =-.
LOL I love this!!
.-= Marylin´s last blog ..No, seriously… SERIOUSLY??? =-.
Whoa. That’s intense. Definitely going to have to remember the face-lift, towel trick.
Wow! That is a PUMA! And yes, you absolutely look younger and more radiant with Rolly on your head. Now, if Rolly were under the towel, his tail could almost be a lovely pony tail…and he would just appear to be a large “Bumpits”. Just think of the envy of the girls in your neighborhood when they see your pony tail moves magically on it’s own.
That was funny! I think I may have your cats twin. My cat looks just like yours. She however has not learned to balance on top of a towel wrapped on my head. I feel inspired though and will begin cat training lessons very soon. Thank you for sharing your scientific journey.
Is it wrong I just tried to make my cat sit on my head? No? Ok mission accomplished.
.-= lbluca77´s last blog ..The post in which I explain how I just want to yell at people. =-.
I’m a little concerned with your cat. it seems a little blue and might i add quite huge. I can see where he would squish up your neck while perched atop your turban.
Maybe i could borrow that cat for a while. He could hold on to my love handles from behind and stretch them till my stomach is flat…maybe? Just for a day or so?
.-= Levon´s last blog ..Because seriously, i’ve been cleaning up peecrap for 2 days =-.
Bless your heart!! I just love you to death… Thanks for making me laugh…
.-= allison´s last blog ..Taking a snow day… =-.
I wish my cat would sit on peoples’ heads.
She sits on shoulders, which is a little less exciting.
That is so AWESOME that your got your cat to sit on your head. My bird would sit on my head but then he would shit. So I never let him sit on my head so then then was relegated to my shoulder and would squawk in my ear and shit down the back of my shirt.
Hopefully your cat didn’t shit on your head. That would NOT be awesome.
.-= QandleQueen´s last blog ..Social Networking – Female Style =-.
Are you also brushing your teeth with Victor’s toothbrush (maybe) while wearing lipstick?
.-= Andrea´s last blog .."Top Gun Anthem" =-.
Wait, Jesus DOESN’T want me to do cocaine? Oops.
The firestorm of Dr. Pepper controversy is KILLING ME. Funniest thing EVER!
.-= Leigh´s last blog ..angels =-.
If Victor really had your best interests at heart, he’d ask thoughtfully whether that was inadvertently the CAT’S toothbrush, and then if it was, he would rescue you from yourself–and from all those butt-licking-cat germs–by letting you borrow his toothbrush to clean away the nasty cat residue in your mouth. Thanks a lot, Victor, for not even worrying that she might have picked up the cat’s toothbrush by mistake!
.-= MommyTime´s last blog ..The Siren Call of Stuff (part 1) =-.
Hilarious! A Cat ON the hat, perhaps? Too funny!
.-= Jane´s last blog ..Beware The Attack Of The Joy Suckers =-.
I’m so going upstairs and putting my 13 lb. cat on my head. I’m sure he’ll take 10 years off my face!
With his claws.
At least two of our cats will climb up on my shoulders. I don’t think any of them are crazy enough to sit on my head, though.
.-= Shawn K. Quinn´s last blog ..2010-01-11/17 Weekly LOVIEE =-.
I am laughing so hard that I can’t for the life of me think of something witty to say!
Thanks for being you
And having a cat on your head towel makes you look like Rachel McAdams in The Notebook. Throw that in Victor’s face while I look for Ryan Gosling’s phone number.
.-= Suzy´s last blog ..If I Could Start My Blog Over =-.
What is WRONG with Victor ?!!?!!!
The man doesn’t appreciate scientific inquiry, preserved boar, or womencolds. . . .
How do you put with this ?????
You are truly a saint.
Can I have your cat. My MIL visits like twice a week in the summer.
You know what fuck that you need to keep your cat I will get my own. It will serve three purposes since it will be long haired…one MIL repellent, two my own little face lifter since a cat will be less expensive than a laser facial and three…my husband is bald and longs for the days when he had hair. (is there supposed to be an apostrophe in the word days?)
.-= A Vapid Blonde´s last blog ..I Love Your Blog…the Chick Edition. =-.
That cat is HUGE! Your neck muscles must be very strong. Plus, I don’t know what Victor is talking about… Yea it sucks at first as the cat lands, but then you have a CAT on your HEAD. She looks awesome. I think cats on heads will be the next fashion accessory.
Also, I saw this and thought of you and James Garfield:
http://www.spoonflower.com/fabric/92609
I think you should make some curtains or something out of some fabric, or maybe a hat for James Garfield, or maybe a cape? I think it would be awesome.
.-= Stephanie´s last blog ..I love you, Ikea. =-.
I can’t be bothered to read all these comments cuz I’m having some Dr. Diet Pepper (or IS it?), but on the whole cat-on-the-toweled-head, check this out:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ExZ0i04pSeY
but seriously.
your cat….
sits….
on your head….
for like an extended period of time.
that’s epic.
and my cat sucks. He only sits on towels on the ground.
**useless**
.-= Maggie´s last blog ..Being a Grown-Up BLOWS. =-.
You get towel facelifts? Wow. My husband says I only get Vulcan eyebrows when I wrap my hair in a towel. Maybe it will work better if I teach my dog to sit on my head? We don’t have a cat.
.-= Condo Blues´s last blog ..5 Homemade DIY Sleds =-.
Very cool and flattering, wonder if we could train Max the rabbit to do that, except he would bite chunks out of the wife’s hair.
.-= Mik´s last blog ..Open Letter Mr. Halitosis =-.
Jenny, I think that’s *my* toothbrush.
And yeah, your cat is totally making you look younger. I was thinking when I get older I’ll need botox. Turns out I just need a cat. Allergies aside, I think this is a brilliant idea. However, I think you may be sucking the life out of your cat in order to look younger…he’s looking a bit old, maybe there’s an even exchange? Nice of your cat to sacrifice his youth for yours.
.-= Stephanie L´s last blog ..P.S. Bitter almonds + water = bad things =-.
I’ve got nothing. I was going to comment about the lipstick, but being 150+ to comment is kind of late to the party. You do look better than my wife coming out of the shower. I going to have to throw a few cats on her and see which one of ours sticks.
.-= mousebert´s last blog ..Once you go creepy – there is no going back =-.
I am so jealous. I always have to awkwardly force my cat onto my head, and she usually looks very displeased. Perhaps from now on I will optimistically wear towels on my head whenever I can get away with it.
.-= brian´s last blog ..seven year olds describe Brian Danowski Round two =-.
If you hack up a hairball you have no one to blame but yourself.
The first run through this paragraph was like driving fast through a bad neighborhood and getting hit by a paintball. “What was that?!”, you yell, and your shotgun says, “Keep going!” I should have stopped at this phrase, “…when you’re upside down after a shower…”, and checked for damage, but I ended up with you on your back athwart the bed with your head dangling off the edge upside down and the cat sitting on your neck, sqwooshing it.
After reading this, I’ve spent a while going over the whole ”Is it still wrong to wear fur if it’s still alive?” question and although I think I’ve figured out the meaning of life – I’ve also considered that although it’s not wrong to wear fur if it’s still alive…it’s probably friggin’ impractical. Also, I can’t wear my dog on my head since she’s waaaaay to big for that sorta thing, and I would end up just looking fat not younger. Plus, she just refused to give it a try so we are no longer on speaking terms….
(don’t worry, I won’t get creepy…..*shifty eyes*)
But this is my first time on your blog and let me be honest here….I’m pretty sure you have a new stalker!
.-= mesina´s last blog ..It’s the same ol’ me, with a new fresh image =-.
Was the cat trying to mate with her hair?
.-= pixielation´s last blog ..Teddy Bears – like currency, only furrier =-.
Right now, Dr. Seuss is rolling in his grave yelling, ‘The Cat IS the Hat!’
SONOFABITCH!
.-= moooooog35´s last blog ..Doodler Dandy Does Dallas Part Dos =-.
Too bad my son is allergic to cats! Just thinking of the money I could save on future facelifts if we had a cat instead of a yellow lab… Think wearing him on my head would give me the same effect? Or he could make me look like a munchkin… not sure I could pull off 100 pounds riding on my head, although I am sure you could!
Oh- and everlast lip color by Covergirl is terrific… it doesn’t come off until you want it to, so even after a few minutes, er, NIGHT of passion, the lips are still in place- regardless of where everything else is!
.-= Dawn´s last blog ..I Love the Smell of Roses… just gotta take the time to find them! =-.
The balancing I think I get but….how in the hell did you keep the cat from clawing your eyeballs out???
.-= Roschelle´s last blog ..Okay…You Are Kidding, Aren’t You? =-.
I’m thinking you’ve got a future in haberdashery. If not hats, then hat accessories, certainly.
.-= phd in yogurtry´s last blog ..deceived no more =-.
I had heard rumors that there was at least One blogger out there… yes… a womaness… who gets an insane amount of visits each day. And comments, oh the comments!! But I confess that only today did a former friend send me your link. She is my former friend, because I’m sure I’m not allowed to have visitors in seclusion, which is where I’m headed. Right now. To wait out my catatonic shock at (a) your delightful wit (damn! Your visits are deserved!) and (b) the sheer reality that not every blogger is limited to 300 hits (or 23) and 3 comments (on a good day). Sigh. I hate you. The cat, however, I adore. Definite skills.
I’m not reading through all of these comments but I hope someone brought a good pussy/head joke to the table.
I posted something about my cats making out and you would have thought my brain slid out of my ears the way my readers treated me (bad)
renamed to pussy post.
Whatever readers.
.-= Martinis or Diaper Genies?´s last blog ..Really huge MODG news. Like massively huge and awesome. =-.
Definitely younger. The taller part only comes into play if you have a darker towel so it all blends together.
.-= Plano Mom´s last blog ..A thought on Manila =-.
Holy Cat Box!
WE have a Norwegian Forest Cat.
Well, we think she is. She’s a stray from the Moscow metro.
.-= The Expatresse´s last blog ..What I Got the Spouse for Christmas =-.
That cat is crazy.
.-= Wynn´s last blog ..I wonder.. =-.
You are so fucking weird. I love that about you. I will hopefully have my computer issues fixed soon so that I can comment regularly again. And… I hate to break it to you but that is not science.
I can never get a towel to stay on my head like that. Or on my body. And my cat would FREAK out, scracthing up my head/face. Go you.
.-= Martie´s last blog ..What About The Children?… =-.
That is it…you have confirmed for me that my cats are useless as well as clumsy. Those lazy bastards cannot even walk across the back of the couch without falling off! I think my cats are defective.
Is there an e-mail link anywhere on this site? I wanted to tell you thank you for brightening up soooooooooo very many of my days. I adore this cat face lift post, particularly since it’s illustrated. But my fave so far is one of your Tweets:
“Anne Frank zombie = nobody needs that.”
Literally LOL. I think you’re fabulous and, although I’m sorry you hate to put up with so much hate mail recently, your responses were so hilarious that I would’ve hated for you not to have the opportunity to share them with us. The diet/not diet Pepsi post was entertaining, but the followups were several levels up in hilarity – each one funnier than the last. And the last, with the summary of recent posts, was just off the charts. I hope you happen to be aware of the fact that people will write way more often to complain than they will to compliment. Because you have tons of fans, and who cares what people think when they can’t spot satire when they see it.
Love. Your. Writing!
You are SO adorable in that towel. Seriously. Who cares what toothbrush you’re using when you’re that cute?
.-= Jennet´s last blog ..Adventures in Masturbation, Part 2 =-.
Definitely a new fashion trend – cat-towel-hat. Wear it and look younger instantly. Keeps your head warm too, and the purrs could be soothing. Better see if you can sell the idea to a local spa.
.-= Stephanie´s last blog ..Does Being a Stay at Home Mom Make a Difference to Your Kids? =-.
More questions:
Doesn’t that thing compress your spine like a slinky? Would you be a lot taller without the cat? Did you put the lipstick on just to torture me?
I totally get the science. And how cool is it that your cat perches on your head. Uh…Wicked cool. Hello? I say if Victor really cared if you were using his toothbrush he would have used a labler to label it VICTOR’s TOOTHBRUSH. Just sayin’!
.-= Jenn´s last blog ..Wonder Woman vs. Catwoman =-.
And to think that I think our cats are heavy when they lay on my head when we sleep. I dont think I could carry them around on me like that. Also? According to Victor’s logic I should stop letting the dog sniff my butt so she won’t do it to strangers. Where’s the fun in that?
.-= Dani´s last blog ..I Am a Vampire, but There Are Drugs for That =-.
Also? This reminds me of the movie Shutter which was just on last night. Except this is a cat. And it is not a ghost. And you didn’t kill it. Everything else though? The SAME.
.-= Dani´s last blog ..I Am a Vampire, but There Are Drugs for That =-.
You have a cat on your head. I have never seen anything like that. Yeah, we used to put the hamsters on our heads when we were kids but they were little. That is a huge assed cat. Your face does look rather pulled back however. Would a labrador work?
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Inappropriate Behavior =-.
This is the funniest shit I’ve read in a long time. I also has a cat named Rolly, but he never got on my head, he would slap my ass when I walked by though.
Awesome as always!
.-= Marie´s last blog ..What’s with people these days? =-.
I LOVE YOU! And thats that!
and, i dig lipstickophobia (umm… should that be philia?? jus sayin)
.-= neers´s last blog ..a mom is born =-.
Yet further proof that cats are extremely weird and/or stupid. My mother’s cat likes to sit on boobs that are framed by crossed arms, which is somewhat inconvenient considering it renders your arms useless.
Did I mention I meow in the cat’s face when I get sick of it meowing?
(detest cats, love science)
I’m just amazed that the cat didn’t claw you at some point. If it were my cat on top of my head, she would only be there for quick access to her “petter”. If I don’t pet her on demand, she reaches out and pulls my hand in with her claws. I’d end up with claw marks all over my face.
.-= Marianne´s last blog ..When You Don’t Know How To Express It…Filler Up. =-.
I think our cats are related: http://www.senseichan.org/CIMG0910.JPG
You really should be more careful. That cat is totally up to something …http://www.catswhothrowupgrass.com/kill.php
I would totally get a cat if I could be guaranteed it would do that.
.-= Colleen´s last blog ..8 years =-.
–>I think you look younger but are you cheating and wearing lipstick?
.-= WebSavvyMom.com´s last blog ..Wordless Wedneday – Come Get Me Curls =-.
I think we have the makings of a winning Parlamentary platform here. The combination of the shared toothbrush and camera/shower setup gives you a sound environmental policy (not to mention the fairly unlimited potential of the potty-cam once you’re actually in DC. Think ‘wide stance’). PETA would definitely have to get behind your kittay-as-pastic-surgeray plan, given its implication for the homeless pet population. You’re all PC/culturally-inclusive with the turban and all (too far?). All you need now is a catchy campaign song. Why am I thinking “Walk Like an Egyptian”….
.-= Jenn´s last blog ..The Theory of Optional Delusion =-.
Goddamnit, Jenny. You made me laugh my eye makeup off again.
Screw Dooce and her pics of her dog balancing something on his head. This is much more amazing.
.-= lynn @ human, being´s last blog ..The Last Decade: Why I’m not writing about 2005 … yet =-.
my cat, god, says tell rolly that no, sitting on your head does not make her look fat. just hot. and that green is a good color for her cause it brings out her eyes. and her inner ear.
oh, and he wonders if she likes guys who are comfortable enough in their own fur to wear pink collars with bling and a bell.
This is why I love the Bloggess. She doesn’t just talk the talk she walks the walk. Most people make up shit like this and bedazzle it to give it extra zing. She just puts the fucking cat on her actual head and takes a picture. Simple, pure, real and hilarious.
By the way, you actually do look like you got a really aggressive facial or something. The towel facelift works.
.-= Kelly Duffy´s last blog ..This is you, as seen by me =-.
OMFG I HAVE THAT SAME TOWEL! HOW FREAKY IS THAT???
With love from Humble, Texas: World’s Biggest Oxymoron.
That cat looks like a friggin vulture up there.
My friend was trying to decide whether or not to have her pic hang outside the science dept. of her school, when I saw this it was like a stroke of genius, she’s totally going to do it…..if her cat cooperates!
These shots would be GREAT coasters. Can you make a set? I’d order them.
your cat is awsome. The most mine every did was wake me up at 3m, trying to jump in the window hanging onto the side of the house.
.-= Divinenine´s last blog .. =-.
I noticed that most of the respondents are attempting to match the author’s wit. Just stop it. You are diluting the hilarity as well as the science. I can’t sleep now thanks to you because I don’t want to close my eyes in fear of everyone stabbing me while I sleep, which I guess I deserve after that comment, but seriously….I am so confused. Dogs are just as cool btw but their balls would hang over your forehead making you look old but wise, so there’s that…
Color me impressed.
Laugh out loud kind of funny!
“when you’re upside down after a shower” …? Um, I’ve NEVER been upside down after a shower. Maybe you need to get a less-slippery bath mat.
christ on a cracker! i have no idea how i stumbled upon your blog this evening, but as i’ve read through post after post I AM LEGITIMATELY DYING from trying to stifle my laughter so that it doesn’t wake my sleeping baby. this one did me in – i choked on my own spit and had to cram a pillow over my face while i wheezed out uncontrollable giggles. all i can say is, nicely done. and i will be reading.
cheers!
Seriously? Victor has a pink toothbrush?
can i put this picture up on my facebook please? i’ll be all “y’all this is why i love the Bloggess” and my friends will totally get it.
figured i’d get written permission from you 1 so it’s legit and 2 so when you tell me it’s cool i can tell everyone that you wrote something to me
Coming late to the party, as usual, but laughing til I am crying AGAIN in my cubicle at work.
thank you for that. i kinda choked quite a bit here when i began to laugh because i’m laying down with a 15 lb. laptop on my, well – lap. however, unless i start bench pressing it, it will amount to nothing like your science project success. thank you for risking having your new temporary facelift clawed to kitten bits in the name of science. the choking was worth it.
I have heard of asshats but not facelift cathats before. I am all enlightened. I don’t think this would work so well with the Crack Puppy. Her claws are way sharper than a cat’s.
hogsatemysister recently posted..Gutbusters ‘R’ Us
The cat makes you look adorable.
You’re reminding me of a great book for teaching probability that just happens to be authored by my cousin. A major theme of the book is a cat on a boy’s head. Check it out.A Very Improbable Story: A Math Adventure
Oh, and so sorry about your cat! I hope, hope, hope he turns up.
I am also sorry to hear about your lost cat. But – cats do tend to find their way home again. I won’t tell you the story about the family in Russia who moved from Moscow to Odessa and their cat went missing almost immediately only to turn up some 1,000 miles away at their old home in Moscow 10 years later, because that probably won’t cheer you up since you don’t want ot wait 10 years to have your cat back. Plus you haven’t recently moved from Moscow.
I will however tell you about our cat Assar who went missing just after Christmas. He’d been out on walkabouts before so we were not all that worried the first couple of days, but after a week we started to get concerned. We put posters up and had people looking for him but no sightings. After about 3 weeks we started to realise he had probably been in an accident, and that he wouldn’t come home anymore. Those were dark times. Another month went by and we had just started to adjust to a life without Assar when he suddenly appeared on the internet, larger than life! It turned out he’d been in a fight and was bleeding, so some kind (but confused) person catnapped him and took him to the vet. There he was scanned for a microchip ID, but they couldn’t find one, so they sent him off to the home for lost cats, who later advertised him on their web site, ready for adoption. So, in the end we did get our cat back (even though we had to buy him back from the cat home), and we still don’t know why his microchip ID didn’t show up at the vets.
My point is don’t give up. Cats are strange and surprising animals. Not like dogs. When dogs go missing they stay missing until you find them. Stupid animals (and, yes, I’m talking about YOU @LydiaOfficeDog!).
Andreas Heinakroon recently posted..The fairness syndrome
Thinking good thoughts for you, Jenny. I had a cat go missing and then just waltz in back home after 2 weeks had gone by. Like it was No. Big. Deal. Damn cats. They’re heartless…but I love mine. Fingers & toes are crossed….
Damn, now I need to get a cat, I can’t imagine the basset on my head!
If she is anything like my cat, she won’t have gone far. Check your landscaping, she’s hopefully just hiding in there feeling sorry for herself. Since she’s a cat, she is constitutionally unable to come when you call. Yes, racial profiling. Sorry. Hope you find her soon! *hugs*
You’ve got kind of a twisted Carmen Miranda thing going on there, chica. And it’s wonderful. Towel is probably a necessity, though…cat claws in the scalp are a bit less than comfortable.
Dangerboy recently posted..5 Things I Think, Sep 19
Finally, someone has found a use for cats outside of being a bait substitute. Nice!
Gutmeister recently posted..The Add A Logo Contest
Omg!!! Crying here, laughing too hard!!!!! Cats are so awesome! Wish mine did something to make me look skinny
So great!!!
Hey Jenny, check it out! (Look what I found!)
http://senorgif.memebase.com/2011/10/15/funny-gifs-cat-hat/
I think someone owes you money.
They attack your head? Thanks for the nightmares…