UPDATED: Twice as cute. Although I suppose that’s subjective.

Last month when we were in Atlanta I found an old, two-headed taxidermied bobcat in a thrift shop that I really wanted to buy, but then I noticed that the shop also had a human hand in a jar for sale.  I couldn’t justify buying both of them and that’s when I realized that this is probably the kind of torture that normal women go through when they’re forced to pick only one pair of shoes. The bobcats were awesome because they were on clearance, so they were twice as cute and half off.  The math does itself.  Victor disagreed, but I pointed out that there was a lot going with these bobcat heads.  One face seemed conservative and cranky while the other seemed flighty and possibly insane.  These heads were a personification of us.  The Victor-ish head seemed to say, “No.  This is a terrible idea” but the me-head was like, “I CAN’T WAIT TO GO HOME WITH YOU GUYS.  GIMME A SNUGGLE AND A BALLOON.”

I'm the one in the middle.

I’m the one in the middle.

But the severed hand was cool too, mostly because it was tattooed in the most ironic way ever.

So...yeah.

So…yeah.

You have to question how “lucky” a guy is if he ends up with his hand in a jar, but severed rabbit feet are supposed to be lucky too so maybe this all makes sense somehow. I couldn’t decide between the two so I held them up to Victor one at a time. “Which is better?  The conjoined bobcat faces or the severed hand?” He looked at me like he was in pain. I don’t blame him though.  It was a tough decision. Victor insisted that I couldn’t buy both but I cradled the bobcat heads and said, “I don’t know.  I really need ‘a hand’ with these two.  Literally.”  Victor pointed out that we were getting on a plane in a few hours and I probably couldn’t bring a human hand through airport security, and I was like “Good point.   Because of the liquid formaldehyde, huh?”  And he was like “AND BECAUSE IT’S A HUMAN HAND.”   I don’t know much liquid can you bring on a plane if a severed hand is displacing most of it so I still couldn’t decide but then the clerk pointed out that the hand was an old movie prop made of latex and so I decided to pass on it because I’m allergic to latex. I paid for my cat(s) but I couldn’t come up with good names for them.  Victor suggested “Hang-Nail & SideCat” but I asked twitter and they suggested several winners too and now I can’t decide.  So I’m going to let you decide.  Please vote on the best names for the newest members of my terrible posse:

The left head hates the tie.  The right head loves it.  Victor would prefer it if I'd stay away from his ties.

The left head hates the tie. The right head loves it. Victor would prefer it if I’d stay away from his ties.

UPDATED:  Another option.  Please don’t sue me, Kevin Smith.  It’s a tribute.  Swear to Alanis Morissette. jay and silent bobcat

264 replies. read them below or add one

  1. This.is.fantastic 🙂

  2. I vote for ‘Me and You’ because there is a little bit of both of them in every one of us.

  3. I’m guessing that’s a fake hand. Pretty sure it’s illegal to sell human remains. At least in Canada!

  4. Voting stresses me out – this is such an important decision! It was hard to pick just one.

  5. The new BBC America show Almost Royal will be visiting a taxidermy shop in Texas on Saturday night’s episode. You might enjoy it.

  6. What does the guest room look like in your house? Just curious. I went with Fear and Loathing – it was the tie; please add a visor

    thetattootourist recently posted Sinking on the Amazon and getting in the Swing of Things – Witch Dr’s and Woe (as in WHOAH!).

  7. Shenzi & Banzai – those two idiot hyenas from the lion king…

    Michele recently posted Sheldon Cooper vs. Mr. Bean.

  8. Victor & Jenny? I mean, clearly is a personification of your relationship. In as much as cats can be a personification.

    grace recently posted Sharing the Pain.

  9. Oh, there’s one for you and one for Victor! I think they’re sweet.

    That is, if you read “sweet” as “even scarier than the decorative masks that used to terrify my brother and me when we visited my dad’s parents, to the point that he asked them to take the masks off the wall and put them away when we visited.”

    Tragic Sandwich recently posted Welcome to Summer!.

  10. I can’t stop giggling at this list. Me-Ow & You-Ow and Pete & Re-Pete are probably my favs. The giggles won’t stop, how am I going to work now?

    janiceyang | yangjanice recently posted My Thinking Room.

  11. i’m torn between “rosencatz and gildenpurrr”, and “pete and repete”. so torn.

  12. I bet the cat heads really tie the room together.

    TriGirl recently posted When it Comes to Running, Call Me the Rainmaker.

  13. Jay & Silent Bob The Karcatshians?

    Or maybe Yin and Yang?
    Id and Ego?

    Oh god, stop me now!

  14. Had to go with the Shakespeare reference which seems to be leading the pack (haha). The tie really brings out their eyes-eyes and the purple adds a regal air. Nicely accessorized.

    momus83 recently posted Dress to Not Unimpress.

  15. I added my own: Jay Z and Solange.

    NosmoRex recently posted My Acting Résumé.

  16. 16
    pandypuddingpie

    Those photo captions get me every time.

    I really want to know which movie used that prop now.

  17. If you hadn’t bought the double-headed bobcat I would have been so sad. It’s like this was made for you.

    Karen Marie Peterson recently posted This song is growing on me. Like a fungus..

  18. Oh, what about calling them after the Cray twins: Ronnie & Reggie? Pretty sure one was more batshit than the other, but they were both pretty murdery.

  19. the bobcats were a good choice! too bad the hand wasn’t real because you never know when you’ll need a fresh pair of fingerprints

  20. Prepare for a hissy fit – you need to find a tie that both like.

  21. I voted for Jay and Silent Bob-but think it should be Jay and Silent Bob(cat)

  22. Were you in Little Five Points? I could easily imagine these things for sale there.

    fuzzarelly recently posted Onward, into the Past.

  23. One hates it, the other loves it – so it’s a tie!

  24. 24
    Laura Riester

    Katdashagains??

  25. This so cracked me up! And the tie gave me the rest. I can’t…I just can’t.

  26. This so cracked me up! And the tie gave me the rest. I can’t…I just can’t.

  27. I am completely torn between Bobcat Goldthwait & Cat Stevens and Ipso & Facto. But then again you could scratch them all and go for Siegfried & Roy. One does look a little stroke-ish.

  28. “RosenCatz and Guildenpurrrrr” seemed best, but I couldn’t quite leave “Bobcat Goldthwait and Cat Stevens,” so I voted for both.

    Jonathan Aul recently posted ichthyologist: Friends Klaus Stiefel on Flickr.

  29. They have to be Chu-bu and Sheemish. Original story is here: http://www.sff.net/people/doylemacdonald/d_chu-bu.htm

  30. I need to know the name of this thrift store. I am close enough to Atlanta and this looks like a fun field trip for me and a couple of my friends.

    (Mysteria Antiques and Oddities. ~ Jenny)

    Marianne recently posted Flaws and Virtues.

  31. I think I really would have went with the hand, Then had it shipped home. As for naming. I have no idea. LOL

    Melly recently posted Problems With Brainstorming.

  32. Hard to believe nobody suggested Zaphod and Beeblebrox in honor of Douglas Adams.. (But maybe they did. I didn’t read all the comments…) Love the Shakespeare!

  33. I love the bobcats. I haven’t gone to Twitter to view the list & vote yet, but did you ever consider either Castor & Pollux or Leonidas & Xerses as possible names for the voting list? I’m a tad biased towards historical & mythological names myself.

    barbarasaurusrex recently posted Wedding conundrum.

  34. Definitely would of went with the hand

  35. I think the tie really makes it…

  36. Tossing in Pancho & Lefty

  37. I always said that if I got 2 dogs I would name them Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. Well now I have two dogs. Henry and Cosmo. What happened to my literary youth?

    Teri recently posted Things I found on The Google....

  38. The final photo brings me such joy.

  39. I must know where you were! I frequently go to Atlanta for fun because my panhandle Florida town has absolutely no culture! Or taxidermied animals! Actually, it probably has a lot of taxidermy, but nothing fun like two headed bobcats, just boring deer.

  40. After I voted I remembered the cartoon, Pinky and the Brain. One is a genius the other’s insane.

  41. 42
    Alicia York

    I’m sitting at my desk huffing and wheezing out laughs like Muttley from the Hanna-Barbera cartoons. If I get fired, can I please get a job dusting your house? Best. Job. Ever.

  42. The former English major in me had to go Rosencats and Guildenpurr. For the punniness and the rather tragic end. Awesome.

    Jess@NoPithyPhrase recently posted Mythic Monday: Minotaur.

  43. The hand. I both want and am repelled by the hand.

    it’s hard being me.

    Michelle recently posted 17 Things About Walking For Exercise No One Tells You.

  44. This is SO unfair! Why can’t I find cool stuff like this at our thrift shops? Very cool stuff! I’d name them Jekyll and Hyde. But I’m dorky like that…

  45. Was the real reason you passed on the hand because you were disappointed it wasn’t a real hand?

    Jane @ The Blue Morpho recently posted Fit & Fab; My first Weight Watchers meeting.

  46. I do sorta like Cagney and Lacey but those options paled when presented with RosenCatz and Guildenpurrrrr.

    Teri recently posted Things I found on The Google....

  47. where do you find these awesome Thrift stores? I have never seen any of tHe kinda stuff that you seem to find in any of our thrift stores or even our antique stores.

  48. I’m trying to find a way to incorporate the phrase “hands down,” but I’m coming up with nothing. But if I were you I’d find a way to smuggle it on the plane. Totally worth the repercussions.

    Manicmom recently posted Why I don’t cook more.

  49. 50
    Erika Whitney

    What scares me is that I can totally discern the difference between the two cats’ expressions.

  50. Shut up! How can you choose from such a good list? I am going with TuPac. That shit is funny…

  51. I am irrationally disappointed that the hand doesn’t read “Lucy” (my last name) making it both the best and worst anniversary present for my husband ever.

  52. I think you should name them Leopold & Loeb…or give Victor the win and name them Hangnail & Side Cat…Victor deserves a win now and then, although in all fairness you not bringing home the hand was probably win enough. But let’s get back to what’s important here…is that a taxidermied giraffe neck I see behind you in one of those photos?!? Why aren’t you talking about that?

    The Suzzzz recently posted Thoughts On Dating.

  53. I voted for Bobcat Goldthwait and Cat Stevens, since I suggested Cat Stevens when you did your poll for names on Twitter. Although several of the other suggestions are good too.

  54. Statler and Waldorf. Done.

  55. RosenCatz and Guildenpurrrrr because the personalities for the cats match those two as well P.S. By the transitive property that means you and Victor are also like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern

  56. What the hell, Jenny? I would have never believed it without the photos.

  57. All of those names were great- who are these amazing people that come up with this creative stuff? I also thought that the person above who suggested Jay-Z and Solange was GENIOUS!

  58. Jenny, I love you dearly, but I’m with Victor on this one. I can’t imagine bringing either of those terrifying things home. What the Victor-cat clearly needs is a hand so it can pinch the bridge of its nose when it’s getting a headache, or facepalm when the moment calls for it.

  59. This pair distinctly gives me an Archie and Edith vibe.

  60. Is that a Gryffindor tie?

    (It is. 10 points for Gryffindor! ~ Jenny)

    Jessica @ Just a Mum? recently posted Time Flies When You Should Be Packing..

  61. 62
    Terri in SF

    The tie makes it art.

  62. I love this and let me tell you why: I went to Texas State University and our mascot is a bobcat. Our fight anthem was, “Eat’em up, eat’em up, go cats go!” Please send a pic of this to Texas State University, San Marcos!!!

    Donna recently posted The Ocean Just Got It's Period (And Is Becoming a Filthy Whore).

  63. I say go with Bartles & Jaymes.

  64. You had a hard enough time choosing between two things and now we have to decide between all those names? Unfair. I thought Statler & Waldorf was a clear winner until I saw True Detective Season 2. Now I’m torn. Why would you do this to us?

  65. That’s a really realistic latex hand. I think the guy was just saying that so that you didn’t report him to some authorities for selling human parts?

  66. I want to shop where you shop. I wrote in Bob & Kat in the “other” field. I was going to write “Other & Another,” but then I was like “OH LOOK, the comments section! I’ll take my nonsense there!”

    I think Bob & Kat is perfect (I resisted the purrfect respelling, but then I totally didn’t) because Bob completes Kat and Kat completes Bob. Also, spelling Cat with a K is what all the kids are doing.

    You are awesome.

    Jeff recently posted THE BABY BAKERY IS CLOSED.

  67. Lucy and Ethel

  68. I wonder how long those cats sat in that store waiting for you to come. Like poor Corduroy and his button except for grown ups and with two heads.

    Eve I Ate Your Damn Apple recently posted Momstinct.

  69. Vic and Jen…perrrrfect

  70. I really hope that “Fear & Loathing” isn’t the winner, b/c then you will have to move to Nevada – and that might make Victor explode.
    We shouldn’t make Victor explode.

  71. “so I decided to pass on it because I’m allergic to latex” Of course, THAT’s the reason to pass on the night-terror-inducing freak show in a jar.

    BTW, the tie adds so much whimsy to your cats. The left head definitely needs more of that in his life.

    Foxy Wine Pocket recently posted 15 Ways to Make Dance Recitals Not Suck.

  72. You made the right choice. I like the bobcat heads over the hand mainly because if the hand was real, it was used at one point to help its owner masturbate and pick his nose… Hands are just gross I’m not sure why we always hold each others hands as a sign of affection.

    Michelle Grewe recently posted Operation Mombie Apocalypse Bwa haha haha: Step 1.

  73. i love that you clarified that you were “the one in the middle” in the picture. Glad we cleared that up.

  74. I am sad I will never be this funny or awesome.

  75. Or maybe that’s not a bad thing…

  76. I really want a tour of the inside of your house. It’s got to be like Barnum & Bailey’s silent freakshow in there.

  77. How does this stuff always happen to you?

    Molley@A Mother Life recently posted Scabs And Other Gross Things.

  78. Oh I can’t decide. I like Jay and Silent Bob. A lot. However, I also like Ipso & Facto. And Pete & Re-pete.

    How about “Lucky” & “Cool Hand Luke”? ;0)

  79. I think you should name them Si and Am 🙂

  80. Whenever I have that kind of tough decision…I always get BOTH (sorry Victor). But seriously, you always…ALWAYS…end up regretting the non-purchased one (while being wildly in love with the purchased one). I mean, how many tattooed, severed hands (latex or non-) are you going to run across?? It might not be a one-of-a-kind…but it’s certainly a one-of-damned-few. I know that’s not much help to you now…but I’m sure that you’ll think CAREFULLY about it at the very next opportunity…

    I have to tell you, when your descendants go through your stuff after the funeral, they are in for one hell of a ride, girl!!!

  81. 82
    Julia Thelen

    You are so blessed.

  82. You can have the hand or you can have the money you can’t have both

  83. I wrote in Jamie & Cersei Lionnister 😀

  84. Amazing! I want one of these for every room.

  85. for some reason i keep hearing: a hand in the bird is worth two in the bush; only replace bird with jar. the tie is a nice touch.

    Simone recently posted How I launched my second book.

  86. 87
    bookworm521

    I had to vote Pete & Re-pete because I had cats named that once. It was awesome!

  87. I’m disappointed that hand wasn’t real. Next you’ll be telling me Siamese bobcats aren’t real either and I really need them to be. My vote: Pete and Re-pete. It’s just so perfect. (I resisted puurfect. Proudest moment.)

    Liz recently posted Zoe vs. My Smartphone.

  88. Jictor and Venny.

  89. This was by far the toughest decision I’ve had to make today!

  90. Whatever their names end up being, they’re fucking PERFECT. I totally voted Jay & Silent Bob, though, because duh.

    Sarah Elizabeth recently posted There And Back Again: The Blogosphere.

  91. That is NOT a Gryffindor tie, it is a Ravenclaw tie; Gryffindor is scarlet and gold. If they’re wearing this tie, they are therefore named Raven and Claw. Claw is the one on the right. No, the other right.

    Elizabeth in France recently posted Croquant.

  92. That was seriously one of the most difficult decisions I’ve made all week.

  93. 94
    @shthisisme

    If you were a ventriloquist (or maybe you are and just haven’t shared this particular talent), you could freak out, whoops, I mean entertain guests by having these two converse with each other.

  94. I did a write in: Dave and Earl, who were my car guys back in the day. I dunno but this duo kind of reminded me of them, with less grease and car tools.

  95. Stripes and prints do NOT go together. We need to work on this.

    itzybellababy recently posted Big Climate News From the Supreme Court.

  96. I’m so happy that your poll is a little bit broken and I could accidentally vote for two choices. It really took the pressure off. I’m not sure they actually look like Rosencatz & Guildenpurrr, but I can’t pass up a R&G reference.

  97. I’m a cat person, but those 2 are nightmarish … I would have bought both. Does the tattoo say “Lucky” or “Lucy”? Is there a sixth finger there that we cannot see? That would be even creepier. I mean really, how much space does a jar take up? You could have kept it in the fridge.

  98. Cheng & Eng

  99. Too funny Jenny. I love Victor. Not like that, but you know what I mean. This cracked me up: I don’t know much liquid can you bring on a plane if a severed hand is displacing most of it.

    Beck recently posted Sinful Sandwich in Savannah.

  100. I know I have told you before, but I need to tell you again. I love you Jenny. You make me so incredibly happy.

  101. The tie makes them look like they’re from Gryffindor, which is weird, because they are the lions.
    Awkward.

    Psychobabble recently posted A Crazy Good Beverage Container.

  102. I think it’s obvious which head would be Bobcat Goldthwait and which would be Cat Stevens.g

  103. That some pretty weird things you have it there. For me some of it looks quite creepy, but thats cool. Haha.

  104. I can tell this was a really hard decision for you…although I would like to point out that I am a non-typical girl in that a shoe decision would not be a difficult one for me…shoes are not my thing….LOL. I voted for Siegfried and Roy as their names!

    Mishka recently posted Smile 75/100 New Book.

  105. Please, please, please name them the Kardashians bc then when they Google themselves (you know they do) this might pop up! You could put them on shirts and cards and I would buy one and figure out how to send it to Kim or Kris and they would be pissed. I would give MY right hand to see that one!!!

    Stephanie@themadchatters.com recently posted Sorry not Sorry?.

  106. It should totally be Castor & Pollux because I love those names… or Catsor & Purrux.. Ooooh … baring that I go for RosenCatz and Guildenpurrrrr

  107. It doesn’t matter what you name them. In my head I’ll always think of them as Goofus & Gallant (my ‘other’ write in vote).

  108. You should obviously name them Angela Lansbury and Columbo because with the tie they look two overworked detectives about to crack the case.

  109. I think you might want to decide after: 1. drinking lots of wine then saying the names over and over again or 2. drink lots of wine.

  110. I did a write-in for “Comedy & Tragedy” — and “Other” didn’t make the % breakdown, not even ahead of True Detective. Waaa.
    My second vote would be the Bobcatsy Twins. Do kids still read that?
    Third vote Kardashians. 😉

  111. RosenCatz and Guildenpurrr – now they can have a game of questions (see Tom Stoppard for details).

  112. Hangnail & Sidecat is great. OMG! This whole post is great and I LOOOOVE the hand!

    Loida recently posted World Cup Fever! Go USA!.

  113. There has GOT to be a tie-in to Matthew Inman’s (The Oatmeal) comic, “The Bob cats.” Please make something happen with that. It just feels like a shame if those two weren’t connected somehow. I think their names are both Bob. So that seems fitting here, too. That’s my vote.

  114. This was just amazing. And how do you not find a way to send a hand home?

  115. Frick & Frack… by the way – those are hideous!

  116. 117
    Wendy Roberts

    I thought that they look like the Smothers Brothers! I would so love to see your house. It must be a monument to your madness!

  117. Thing One and Thing Two.

  118. I proposed Hansel & Gretel 😀

  119. Did you carry them on or check them?

    katiemetzroth recently posted How to tell a M1L from a M1R whilst reading charts..

  120. On the plus side, the both almost look like they’re smiling. That being said, your dapper double-bobcat will probably haunt my nightmares for months to come.

  121. On the plus side, the both almost look like they’re smiling. That being said, your dapper double-bobcat will probably haunt my nightmares for months to come.

  122. ‘Tated & Decap!….come on, that’s comedy gold!

  123. Something tells me that if you checked those as luggage, that would be one luggage package that didn’t get messed with by anyone. I can imagine one handler verifying contents for the security theater and quickly looking up, looking both ways, taping it back up and telling their assistant they were going to take a long break now.

  124. I have the distinct feeling your house would give me nightmares. That’s pretty impressive, considering I’m on a bunch of pills to get RID of said nightmares. I think the sheer amount of dead shit in weird poses would overwhelm modern pharmacology. Basically you’re creating a medical miracle. Take that, tie-less Victor.

    Adrasteia recently posted Back on the meds, nightmares are gone, and ooh pretty music!.

  125. I assume the tie is so you can take out to dinner or as a wedding guest? I loved Mary Cat and Ashlynx… so clever.

    mmaxwellbey recently posted bobby pins and ballet shoes.

  126. I’m adding Thelma and Louise. I love your life. and I too am married to a complete Saint. I cannot believe Victor let them in the house, except, we know because of his sainthood he is also cool and knows he will mostly lose most of the battles, so he needs to pick them carefully.

  127. The one on the right looks a bit like Overly Attached Girlfriend of the cat world, and the other looks like it could be the boyfriend.

  128. Thank you for this Jenny, and thank you to everyone on Twitter who suggested these fabulous names. There’s a lot of bad shot going on in my life right now, and this really made me laugh. Thank you.

  129. OK I live just outside Atlanta and because of you I want to get into collecting weird taxidermy and stuff. What was the name of the store because I MUST go there.

  130. Considering they’re conjoined bobcats, I vote they should be named Fang & Eng!

  131. You crack me up – I spit coffee across the table with your caption on the picture (“me in the middle”). LMAO!!
    I voted for me and you – too funny. After all, “ow” explains the look on their faces 🙂

  132. I vote for Sherlock and Mycroft. Or Sherlock and Watson. Then you could go all steampunk on them.

  133. So, I voted for a few until I saw “RosenCatz and Guildenpurrrrr” and then unchecked all but that one. After clicking on the vote button I hoped it was at the top of the list and…. it was! Yeeess. 🙂

  134. ohohohoh Jay and Silent Bob!! Bob for bobcat!! (as if this needed to be pointed out)

  135. Driving in Texas and saw a sign for the “Old West Taxidermy and Jerky” shop… Which begs a number of questions….

  136. 137
    Moto Guzzi

    Sideshow Bob and Krusty the Kat!

  137. 138
    Cyn Rymer

    I don’t see how the tattoo on the hand could say “Lucky.” We see “LUC” in the photo, but there’s only one finger left. Luck? Lucy (a tribute to a woman or a misspelling – you decide)? Or did the tattoist start on the wrong finger and then wrap the Y around to the thumb? It would read correctly if he made the sign for “E.” with that hand . . .

  138. While I voted for RosenCatz and Guildenpurrrrr you should surely realise that these are Meowk and Grrrrrrrreef, the Glimmer Catz!

  139. I really love the idea of Statler and Waldorf but they look more like they’d like to eat you than heckle you.

  140. 141
    Sarah Wessolowski

    Seriously hilarious. I want them.

  141. I think the head on the left was the model for this semi-viral, terrible tattoo: http://www.homorazzi.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/tattoo-cougar-teeth.jpg

  142. 143
    MistieMae1

    I voted for Pete & Re-Pete because my hippy, back to the earth aunt and uncle had a bunch of barn cats on their homestead that were all named either Pete or Re-Pete. Unless it was a black cat, and then it was named after one of my cousins. shrug Ah, nostalgia!

  143. Where was that I want to GO!!!..LMK PLZ

  144. freakin Hangnail & Side Cat. duh.

  145. BoGo, buy one get one free

  146. I love how, by saying that the heads are a personification of you and Victor, you’re implying that they’re actual people and you guys are…not.

  147. I submitted Chicken and Waffles! It’s an Atlanta thang, y’all…. 🙂

  148. Thank you for making it a multiple select survey – there’s no way I could just pick one! But happy to see some of my votes are at the top of the list!

  149. I’m having nightmares tonight!

  150. Fluffy & Buffy. Because Harry Potter and Vampire Slayer. Nuff said.

  151. You’d have to put some coke on Mary Cat’s nose and a cigarette in her mouth to make it extra authentic.

    (Please name them Mary Cat & Ashlynx. Or else I’ll have to adopt two wild cats, because SOMETHING deserves that name.)

  152. 153
    AtlantaDebbie

    Oh! Going with the Atlanta thang: Peachtree and Piedmont. On another note, I am so disappointed that I didn’t just happen to be in the store at the same time as you and get an opportunity to say a casual “hey, girl”. Except that I never, ever recognize “famous” people and I would have likely just said, “Excuse me.” That’s what I have said to most famous people I happened to see. Oh, yeah, and I told Lynn Swann that he wasn’t Lynn Swann because Lynn Swann is taller. Perhaps I should stick with “excuse me”.

  153. @Michelle #73
    “Used it to masturbate and pick his nose” — I was going to ask “in which order?” and then I realized that I couldn’t decide which order would be creepier.

  154. I so wanted that hand to be real, but I knew it couldn’t be. Thanks, America!

    Shannon Not Sharon recently posted On the up & up.

  155. 156
    Lady Macbeth

    The tie, which is excellent by the way, is bordering on a Hufflepuff tie (Hufflepuff’s colors are black and canary yellow, but in some light, dark purple could pass for black), so I think the other head, based on its sultry personality needs a Slytherin tie. Perhaps it would pacify both heads. However, should they get the name that I voted for and is currently in the lead (my favorite Tom Stoppard characters), you might need to compromise with one giant Elizabethan ruff; then neither head would be happy.

  156. Itchy and Scratchy…in honor of the hand…..

  157. That is epically awesome. I vote for Darryl and Darryl.

  158. 159
    steampunkplacentamagik

    Epic. I vote for Darryl and Darryl.

  159. Ah – you should have visited SCAD in Atlanta. I keep meaning to send you a picture. We have a whole room of taxidermy animals for drawing reference. A professor just showed it to me the other month and my first thought was – “The Bloggess would love this room! ” We even have decorated (artistic) deer, buffalo, and a wall of stuffed fish.

  160. And people wonder why Twins are creepy.

    Jon Hanson (@JonHansonMN) recently posted Uhh.. Hello?.

  161. Had to go with Rosencatz & Guildenpurr. They even look a little like Gary Oldman and Tim Roth. Provided you look at them correctly.

  162. But…but…RosenCatz and Guildenpurrrr are dead! Yippee?

  163. I want a list of the thrift stores you go or at the very least tips on how to find this diamonds in the rough, the thrift stores I go to just aren’t even close to as entertaining as the ones you go to. I think the best thing I’ve ever found was this sincerely bad but remarkably creepy clown painting..

  164. 165
    SqualorHouseGail

    My write-in vote was “scratchy & bleedy”.
    A girl I worked with came up with “Scotch & Soda” as potential names for her 2 doggies. I’ve always liked that one!!

  165. 166
    Brittany Melton

    Calvin and Hobbes

  166. I love you guys. It’s a Gryffindor tie. Because we’re dorks. And you are too for recognizing it. NEVER CHANGE.

    The shop was Mysteria Antiques & Oddities in Georgia. It’s awesome. And creepy.

  167. I’d go with Pain and Panic. Based on first impressions, that is.

  168. I would have chosen the hand……and repackaged it to go with your Tardis…..somehow removing the tattoo…

  169. I couldn’t even vote because I was paralyzed by so many fanTAStic choices. In other news, I don’t know why I only capitalized part of fantastic. Probably because I’m whimsical.

    Ashleigh recently posted Loving Someone who has Depression.

  170. That tie isn’t working. Feels like they should each be wearing a bowtie (or one of them wearing a bowtie and the other wearing a tie—oooo or a bolo tie!

  171. Have you considered Eva and Lyn? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tynp394tOnk

  172. Robert and Catherine! The tie really helps capture (or cat-purr) their spirit!!

  173. Shrieky and Cheryl.

    Anubis Bard recently posted Summer Solstice above Chicago.

  174. Ok, that hand has to say “luck” and not “lucky” unless it is a six fingered hand. If it is a six fingered hand, then how could you not bring it home?

  175. You put a Gryffindor tie on twin bobcat heads.
    Obviously you’re being called to name them “Fred and George Flea-sley”

  176. First reaction: Romulus & Remus (Roman mythology or Trekkie, you pick)
    Second reaction: That’s got to be a Harry Potter tie, it looks just like ours.
    Voted for: Rosencatz & Gildenpurrr, because Tom Stoppard is awesome

    Kelly Hopkins recently posted Quick trip to Mt. Washington in New Hampshire.

  177. I thought for sure the tie was a Raven-CLAW tie. ( It was hard to tell the exact color from the photo)

  178. Don’t even sweat it, Kevin Smith would totally be honored (and not just a little confused) over the whole Jay & Silent Bob(cat) thing. I like it.

  179. Rosencatz and Guildepurr it must be! no question!

  180. Have you ever considered joining one of those DIY home decor blog tours? Most of them think chalk paint on an old porch swing qualifies as “quirky”. You’d totally win. Or better yet, please please please sign up for a real life Christmas Tour of Homes! I’d totally help you sell tickets!

  181. 182
    Maggies mom

    I think maybe on of the sets of Bobbsey twin names…Bert and Nan or Flossie and Freddie!

  182. 183
    Rick Mackey

    Holy crap! I can’t read all those comments in one night, so I’ll add a completely worthless comment to carry on the tradition of having too many comments to read in a sitting.
    Also, I voted for Bobcat Goldthwait and Cat Stevens because you did too <- reverse psychology (I think).

  183. Jay and Silent Bobcat!

  184. “Because of the liquid formaldehyde, huh?” DYING

    I’m glad you bought Jay and Silent Bobcat instead

    tara recently posted i didn’t want proof.

  185. The tie makes them look so Wallstreet. By the way, an ever changing sign in my town currently reads ” rhinos are just fat unicorns”. It made me think of you.

  186. Have to say you should have bought the hand, because hello you could generate your own Time Lord!

  187. OMG because it’s a Gryffindor tie (which I notice immediately, then was upset that I wasn’t the first, wah) I now think they should be Percy and Neville. On the other hand, the head on the left appears to really wish he was in a Slytherin tie.

  188. 189
    Dr Paisley

    In honor of Dr. Doolittle, you should call them “Pet Me Fuck You.” And a paisley tie. Because paisley.

  189. OF COURSE the math does itself. I mean, shit, how often do you find bobcats on clearance?!?! It would have been criminal NOT to buy them.

  190. You really need to chech these beauties out: https://www.etsy.com/listing/163017105/mature-content-taxidermy-tattooed-frog

  191. My first thought was Brittany and Abby. But that’s just mean. Then Wacko and Yacko, but you’d need to find a Dot. You could name them Phineas and Ferb, but then, where’s Perry? I finally settled on Nicki and Mariah, cuz I’m sure I saw those same expressions nearly every week during that really painful season of AI.

  192. RosenCatz and Guildenpurrrrr is winning. I knew I liked you guys.

  193. Come on, that’s Harry Potters tie, not Victors!

  194. My husband says you need one more and then call them Larry, his brother Darryl, and his other brother Darryl. Extra points for getting to buy another one, right? I like me-ow and you-ow, but not for these cats…I think these have to be Mary cat and Ashlynx…they have just the right amount of wear and tear!
    Jww

  195. Ebb & Flo.

  196. 197
    Katana Keller

    Victor-ish and Me-head

  197. You could collect the whole set of severed tattooed hands!

    http://www.sideshowworld.com/58-Tattoos/Maness/Hands.html

  198. That human hand is going to stay with me for a bit. Is that legal? There is all kinds of paperwork associated with purchasing a human skeleton for medical purposes and some thrift shop just happens to have a flesh and blood hand?! Oh the horror.

    sexonsaturday recently posted Sex Life Mishaps: Shared Secrets.

  199. It’s not what I would name a double-headed bobcat, though, it’s what I think you should name yours… since I don’t have one (pout! I am not keeping up with the Lawsons nearly as well as I should!)

    Anyway, one of the other comments suggeted “me and you” which I think is brilliant, I also like the idea of you going with Victor’s suggestion as a way of supporting your husband while he supports your habbit… I mean, hobby 😉 But, you being you, they’re gonna be Mary-Cat and and Ashlynx. That’s where my money is, anyway!

    (…do I win a prize for least helpful comment ever?)

  200. The concatenators

  201. I think more people have voted on this than voted in our last local election!

  202. Oddly enough this is the second time Bobcat Goldthwait has been brought up in conversation for me today. I think it’s a sign. I’ll get back to you when I figure out what the sign is…

  203. What the hell kind of thrift shops do you go to? I only find strangely-scented cast-off clothes and knock-off bags.

  204. 205
    christine

    So I work for TSA and there is nothing that I know of in the Standard Operating Procedure that I know of that says you can’t bring a human hand on a plane. We I go back to work after being sick from chemo, I will ask my supervisor, because he expects these kind of question from me. He’s a lot like Victor. However, any amount of formaldehyde is not allowed on the plane, in baggage or at all. Its probably some other liquid, since its latex, and the on board limit is 3.4 oz or 100 ml if you like being European. I want to be your personal TSA officer. And I suck at naming things, but Thingamee and Bob. From the book that is a journal if and acid trip for children. And I can’t spell.

  205. oh my goodness, beautiful and scary lol

  206. RozenCats and Gildenpurrr here.

    (Plus it’s all literary and shit – touch of class to an already classy piece)

    Statler and Waldorf was actually my first thought when seeing them, but on careful reflection, you are quite right that one looks unhappy and one looks excited. Statler and Waldorf would both look appalled.

  207. If Jay and Silent Bob(cat) wins you have to put a backwards baseball cap on one’s head and a questionable smoke in the other’s mouth!

  208. Also, Shenzi and Ed would be awesome names!

  209. I had to muddy the waters by suggesting John Meower & Katy Purry.
    The Photoshop possibilities seem endless with those two.
    Rosencatz & Guildenpurr is my favorite of the choices provided though.

  210. I remember reading an article years ago about a woman on a plane back from…Haiti?…who was found to have a human skull in her baggage. Apparently a no no. I think you can only have human parts if they’re 1. yours and still attached 2. you’re pregnant 3. they’re antiques 4. they’re medical models and so probably not real anymore.

    Jen Donohue recently posted This post has a title. And some content. Just a bit..

  211. 212
    Kristi Massey

    I feel like one needs a regular tie and the other a bow tie. Cause you know, bow ties are cool.

  212. I really need to know what shop this is in Atlanta. I love old taxidermy, like you, and I see some potential living room art in the background that you obviously couldn’t buy because it wouldn’t fit in your suitcase. I believe it should be mine. I showed your picture to my bobcat and beaver and they said that they just had to have the giraffe head or the lemur looking creature because they hadn’t had a new friend since the fox squirrel (and they really didn’t get along so well anyway)!
    A new friend is just what we need. Name of store please – because I live close to Atlanta and my daughter lives IN Atlanta…

    Rachelle recently posted What One Auntie Knows.

  213. 214
    Sue Lampey

    WTH? I drove from Ohio-almost-in-Pennsylvania to go antiquing in Atlanta, and didn’t see anything NEARLY as cool! You have a gift, Jenny the Bloggess, to find the most awesome things. And clearly, you use your powers to benefit mankind!

  214. We named our actual cats Jay & Silent Bob, because one of them was always quiet and the other one wouldn’t quit yapping. 🙂

  215. Jay and Silent Bobcat FTW! Love it.

    Swear to Alannis Morrisette made me snort.

    Michelle recently posted Undignified Deaths: And Other Topics To Raise My Spirits.

  216. Rosencatz and Guildenpurr – HAVE to do Shakespeare!
    Followed closely by Hangnail and Side Cat

  217. It’s killing me…they have a website and it’s behind the corporate firewall so I can’t go there at coffeebreak. http://www.mysteriaantiquesandoddities.com

  218. I fully support Lucy and Ricky Meowcardo… here is photo evidence of how perfect it would be… lol.

    http://s1153.photobucket.com/user/jensaystoyou/media/LucyandRickyMeowcardo_zpse57be6e8.png.html

  219. 220
    Lucky Maria

    Where the fuck do you go shopping? Sometimes I think you live in an alternate universe and there is a little tear in the space-time fabric that lets us see into your world. Awesome, fabulous and just a little bit scary.

  220. If Rosencatz and Guidenpurr wins, I will happily make them Elizabethan neck ruffs.

  221. Two-Face?

  222. I put forth Stiller & Meara.

  223. Totally unrelated – driving from Texas to Cali & listening to your book. Read it on another trip a while back but I enjoy your stories & love your voice!! Thank you for just being you!!

  224. Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
    Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
    Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
    Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

    Why hasn’t anyone suggested that yet!?!?

  225. stop> You had me at Cat Stevens.

  226. Rosencatz and Guildenpurrr because I just watched Hamlet with David Tennant.

  227. This was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make. I didn’t think this hard about naming my own kid.

  228. I just want to say that I love the “swear to Alanis Morissette”!

    Jane Ryan recently posted Favorite Email of the Year.

  229. Cut & Paste
    –or–
    Bread & Butter

  230. I tried to send you a pin but it won’t let me because we’re not mutual friends. But if you haven’t yet, you seriously need to see taxidermy furniture, partly because it’s strange and awesome, and partly because if black sheep chairs belong in anyone’s home, it’s yours (I’m so, so sorry, Victor). Though frankly the foxen chair seems more your style. I’m sorry if this is at all creepy. Anyway, without further self-inflicted humiliation: http://quigleyscabinet.blogspot.com/2009/11/taxidermy-furniture.html

    Maya recently posted The Inter-Gender Understanding Award.

  231. Is anyone else having trouble figuring out which bobcat head is Victor? They both seem like Jenny to me.

  232. Wait a damn minute. Is that a GIRAFFE neck and head behind you? And you left it in the thrift store in ATL?

  233. Also? I love the fact that Victor has a Griffindor tie.

    Marianne recently posted Flaws and Virtues.

  234. I’m gonna go with Pete and Re-Pete, although Stadtler and Waldorf would also be an excellent choice.

  235. Why not call them Jenny and Victor?

  236. Jay and Silent Bobcat! I want to change my vote to that!

  237. I bet Kevin smith would find that funny!

  238. I’m voting for Victor’s idea, because well, that guy could use a win.

  239. Ron and Harry.

  240. I want to change my vote to Jay and Silent Bob(cat). Snoochie boochies!

  241. Jay and Silent Bob cat is the best!! You need the caption Boo Boo Kitty F**k. lol

  242. Do you remember the name of this store? I live in Atlanta and would LOVE to go there and check it out!

  243. I thought it said LUCY on the fingers named after the lady, and LUCKY was too many letters for fingers.

  244. I love this. There are no other words.
    Also, I’m sure this is nothing to you, but I have awarded you the “Most Influential Blogger” Award. I didn’t realize there was anyone out there like me until I came across your blog. More people need to know the wonders of proud-to-be-a-little-crazy people.
    So, if you’re interested, here is the award: http://nonsenseshenanigans.com/2014/06/26/most-influential-blogger-award/

  245. I found these and thought of you immediately. http://www.sadanduseless.com/2014/04/low-budget-taxidermy/

  246. um, that is about the ugliest taxidermied two-headed bobcat, I have ever seen-and the most beautiful too (there is a real shortage of two-headed bobcats in my neck of the woods).

  247. Thank you for the Dogma reference. Now that I think about it, the cats kinda remind me of Loki and Bartleby too.

  248. I know I am late to the party, but in the pic of you and the Bob(cat)sey twins…is that a giraffe?

    THAT is what you should have bought! Think of all the great accessories you could put on it!

  249. I just read your whole blog. Amazing, bought three copies of your book too, one for me two for gifts. I cannot believe I did not know about this earlier.

  250. ” I don’t know much liquid can you bring on a plane if a severed hand is displacing most of it so I still couldn’t decide” <— Could not stop laughing at this.

    And while I did vote for Rosencatz and Gildenpurr, frankly all of the top five are amazing.

  251. If it’s a Gryffindor tie, then obviously Fred and George.

    Though, to actually vote for a finalist, the Tom Stoppard/Shakespeare fan in my like Rosencatz and Guildenpurrr

  252. 253
    DarthMama

    Absolutely Statler & Waldorf. I can easily imagine them heckling all your conversations.

  253. 254
    Karrie Johnson - Mississippi

    I think they should be called “The Rathers”… They would Rather shit in the house, than outside. I had two puppies that my parents had the honor of taking in for me when I moved to college. My dad was not very happy, to say the least. I called to check on them the first week at their new home with the “grandparents”. Their previous names were Josie Grossy and Maisey Moo Moo- My daddy, matter-of-factly, informed me me that he had renamed them – The Rathers! Because they would Rather shit in the house, than outside!

  254. 255
    N°1inparticular

    If you wanna keep part of the awesome Smith-esque vibe, you could try out “Dogma” (for Victorcat) & “Karma” (for Jennycat)!? Whoever they are, I’ll bet they’ll have a blast in your three ring circus life! Bah dum…ching!

  255. You had the chance to pick up the Doctor’s hand in a jar and you PASSED?
    Un. Fucking. Believable.

  256. I am sad and also tickled that I was not the first or only voter to reference Daryl and Darrel.

  257. i mean, an actual hand?? in a jar? love the comment about liquid on a plane -you make me LAUGH http://thewanderlusthasgotme.blogspot.co.uk/2014/07/visit-sharm-el-sheik.html

    gina recently posted Sha-mazing Sharm.

  258. Is it a massive coincidence or a mind fucking conspiracy that you start running an ad for taxidermy on the site and now we have stuffed deer, bobcats, and squirrels?

    tanktronic recently posted Eye Candy #14.

  259. I so love the movie Dogma! Great name for your trophy.

  260. Can I just say here how depressed I am now that you were in Atlanta and I was entirely unaware?? Jenny, there are TONS of taxidermied animals here, come back!!! (And let us know next time so we can accidentally-on-purpose show up at that store)

  261. I added “Frick & Frack” so when people walk in and say, “What the FRICK?,” you can say, “WAIT! How do you know Frick?” It’ll be a bit like Who’s on First only with taxidermy.

  262. Jose and Hose B

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