Taxidermy is weird but so am I

Every year I say it will be the last and every year I am a damn liar. WELCOME TO THE ALMOST 14th ANNUAL JAMES GARFIELD MIRACLE!

Hello and welcome to year 12B of the James Garfield Miracle! “12B?” you ask, wondering if I’ve lost my mind. Yes to both. Because I don’t use the unlucky number so it’s 10, 11, 12, 12b, 14, etc. This makes perfect sense if you have as much untreated OCD as me. “Weird. But cool. ButContinue reading “Every year I say it will be the last and every year I am a damn liar. WELCOME TO THE ALMOST 14th ANNUAL JAMES GARFIELD MIRACLE!”

Judy Snarland furever

So the other day Victor and I were at a resale shop and I saw this little bit of fried gold. And Victor was like, “That is toddler’s tutu and we don’t have a toddler” and I explained that it was a vintage, hand-sewn costume AND CROWN for $15 and that he just didn’t haveContinue reading “Judy Snarland furever”

IT’S HAPPENING. IT’S REALLY HAPPENING.

I got an email from editor saying “HAPPY PUB DAY!” and I was like, there’s a special day just for going to pubs? My God, we released my book on exactly the right day, but then I realized “pub” was short for “published” and OMG ::KERMIT FLAIL:: Y’ALL, MY BOOK IS OUT TODAY. Did youContinue reading “IT’S HAPPENING. IT’S REALLY HAPPENING.”

I can’t tell if this happened because I have a medical issue or because I’m just really lazy.

Yesterday I went to pick up my meds and while I was there I handed the pharmacist my prescription for my ADD medication and she was like “Sorry, I can’t fill this one. We can only fill prescriptions within 21 days of them being written” and I guess I can understand that but I’ve beenContinue reading “I can’t tell if this happened because I have a medical issue or because I’m just really lazy.”

Totes MaGoats

My friend Jeremy (Meddling with Nature) is full of awesome. He’s a taxidermist/artist/prop maker who works with roadkill/animals who died of natural causes and who sends me wonderful emails that include lines like “Today my biggest challenge is making a zombie dog that can vomit a gallon of fake blood.” He made me Rory (the ecstatic raccoon who is onContinue reading “Totes MaGoats”

“Simmer down now” ~ Back-up Buddy Bobcat

Conversation at the thrift store: me: Dude. I think I might need that stuffed bobcat. Victor: Just keep walking. me: Look at his paw. It’s like he’s saying, “YOU GUYS? TAKE IT DOWN A NOTCH, OK? JUST SIMMER DOWN.” Victor: Hm. me: We could carry him around in the trunk and you could pull him out toContinue reading ““Simmer down now” ~ Back-up Buddy Bobcat”