Whoa there, princess.

Victor and I usually fight over the right side of the bed because someone always eats cookies on my side of the bed.   Usually I’ll try to stake out the non-crumby side but then Victor just pushes me over even though I keep explaining that crumbs are natural exfoliants and that he’ll smell like delicious thin mints all night but he never falls for it.

Luckily, I found a company that makes comforters just for selfish people like me:

Hey there, princess.
Well hey there, princess.

PS.  Turns out that Victor is secure enough in his masculinity to not give a shit about princesses so instead I’m just buying this version so I can at least look super-fancy while sleeping on the couch.

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And in other news, it’s time for the weekly wrap-up:

(graphic by Kelly Vivanco)

What you missed in my shop (Named “Eight pounds of uncut cocaine” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):

This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by the fantastic Jane Devin, who just released her latest novel,  Bright Lines: A Life in Search of the Beautiful Ordinary.  After a childhood spent drifting between foster homes and the care of his criminally inept father, Easton McNeil embarks on a search for all the ‘beautifully ordinary’ things he’s never had.  Now an empty-nester, the man who’s always loved the idea of home sells his and embarks on a wholehearted mission to say yes.  You should buy it.  I just did.

64 thoughts on “Whoa there, princess.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Thank you for bringing these into my life. I really feel I need the flamenco version.

    And the description on amazon says these are for kids? Pshh…these are way too awesome to waste on kids.

  2. We have twin duvets on our bed because we’re both coverhogs. And because I like to warm my feet on my husband’s legs. You guys need a DustBuster with the wall-mount bracket next to the bed. I’m sure they come in attractive decorator colors now.

  3. This warms my heart ..and tootsies!
    And considering I wear tiaras more than any person on the planet, including actual royalty, it seems fitting. The fact that I don’t own this yet may be the exact reason why I have insomnia!
    I would probably wrap it around me instead of getting dressed at least 3 days a week.
    My blog is even called The Princess Papers.

  4. I like to think that Shane is not even a real employee, just that they have an awesomanager who likes to leave silly notes to this imaginary employee as a way of making employees laugh

  5. There should be a prince charming sleeping there next to her.
    Or at least an ironed-on picture of a box of tissues, since it looks like that princess is sleeping miserable and alone.

  6. Whoa those werepups are disturbing but also cute! I’m conflicted and possibly in for nightmares! So awesome I totally forgot your post was about linnen and suddenly all the above commenters wanted werepups as well! (Some in fancy dress as well)
    If only I had the money I’d help you traumatize a mommy and me class post haste

  7. The Flamenco one has feet and fancy dancing shoes. Not that there’s anything wrong with a footless princess. Also, now I really want a few boxes of thin mints. Yum.

  8. I just…..I just….I love you. In a ‘you make my heart smile’ kind of way. Not a ‘it puts the lotion on the skin’ kind of way

  9. Skipped right past the blankies to the werepups. Closest I would ever get to having a kid.

  10. I was thinking along the lines of Henriette. Werepups shouldn’t wear fancy dresses unless they really want to tho. I want one wearing corduroy coveralls with an elephant or giraffe on the leg just like my sister and I had as kids!

  11. My best friend and I have adopted Shane. We now blame everything on him. I don’t think he signed up for that. Our Shane comments elicit some weird looks but fuck them. It’s fun to have someone to blame your misfortunes on!

  12. That is SO perfect for me. I sleep on my back all night with my hands folded on my chest. Freaks my husband out if he wakes up because he thinks I might be dead. At least with the whole princess cover, I’d look good – and maybe not quite as dead?!

    Thanks, Bloggess!!

  13. In this one place my ex and I rented, I would hear what sounded like a television from the other side of the house when I slept in the spare bedroom. I thought it was just me until a friend stayed with us and said he heard the same noise. I found mentions of certain types of wiring possibly causing it.

    Then again, maybe I was just insane. That could explain a lot about that relationship.

  14. I must say, I like the zombie comforter you shared much better. But I have the same problem with crumbs in the bed. I personally blame the medication.

  15. For some reason I am now picturing Victor writing his own version of the Princess Diaries. Good stuff. At least in my imagination.

  16. Often when I’m alone, usually late at night, I can (almost) hear music playing—as if there’s a radio on somewhere in the house, turned low. But there’s not. I am so glad to know I’m not the only one experiencing something like this. I think it’s maybe a pleasant form of tinnitus.

  17. The Flamenco duvet cover is awesome. I can’t dance, but I can look like I danced my a$$ off and then needed a nap.
    Milk and cookies in bed take the sting out of bad dreams. Totally worth the crumbs.
    That book looks great, thanks for the recommendation!

  18. Because I”m a nerd I found the original manufacturer/vendor’s website https://www.snurkbeddengoed.nl/ and if you choose to view it in “American” the prices and bed sizes will be adjusted for our weirdness 😉 I like the pool one, but it does remind of that scene in “The Big Blue” where water fills the room.

  19. I don’t suppose you have hidden braces on do you? I used to want Marsha Brady’s radio-receiver braces because Mom wouldn’t let me go to sleep with the radio on. Although now I know that if I got talk radio it would be horrible.

  20. Ooh. Blogger by day, princess by night doesn’t sound like such a bad gig:). Does the dress come in blue? I’m a picky princess:).

  21. I hear the can’t-quite-make-it-out news or music at night, too, but only when the fan is on. Either my brain is scrambled to interpret white noise into something less-white, or there are little newscasters and musicians that are wired to my fan switch.

  22. Wish there had been more of a warning label on the werepups link — nearly jumped out of my chair when I opened it!

  23. I SO NEED THIS COMFORTER… that way when and if my husband wakes up and sees it he will think I put a dress on him and throw it off..

  24. My daughter got this comforter/pillow set for her 4th birthday and refuses all other options. Because she’s a goddamn genius.

  25. I used to hear voices, too; muffled conversations just on the edge of hearing that if I tried to pay attention to them, they’d go away. I think (or at least I convinced myself so that I wouldn’t decide I was crazy) that it’s a sort of aural dreaming.

  26. I seriously think that the princessy one would make me nervous….cause it would make my snoring seem even more inappropriate. The flamenco one would give me nightmares that I look just like Lucille Ball somehow. Sigh…

  27. Sometimes, we all just want to be treated like the Queen that we are…I am the Queen of my Domain, and I will damn well sleep like one!!

  28. I sent the link to the werepups.com link to my daughter with a note that she is lucky that I don’t have a million bucks to burn through ‘cuz if I did guess what she would be getting for Christmas. She wrote me back that she read the URL as “we’re pups” and thought I was saying that I was going to send her a bunch of puppies for Christmas. She excitedly clicked on the link and was OMG! My son and I had a good chuckle.

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