I fixed it for you.

Yesterday I got an email from a very sweet girl who wanted to tell me how happy she was to have found “this tribe of bizarre stranglings” because she finally figured out she wasn’t alone and there were others out there like her.  And it was very lovely, although I did think it was odd that she was witnessing so many stranglings here, but then I realized that she meant “strangelings” (like “changelings” but stranger, and that spellcheck had probably changed it for her because spellcheck is an asshole who doesn’t understand the fluidity of language.)  She also included this quote from the Breakfast Club because she thought it fit our odd community so well:

we're all pretty bizarre

And I agree.

And I decided to write this post in case you needed to be reminded of how important you are to me, and to all the other strangelings and misfits out there who find themselves at this blog, and realize they aren’t alone, and get the support they need to be the dazzlingly odd person they are without apology.  You have no idea how important you are.

And I love the quote, but I did feel it needed a small tweak to reflect the us that we’ve become:


Never change, sweet strangelings.

203 thoughts on “I fixed it for you.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Best movie, best blog. I try not to do the whole “gushing” thing – too messy and I hate mopping – but I know just how that women feels. Now please put that shit on a t-shirt.

  2. “spellcheck is an asshole who doesn’t understand the fluidity of language”

    As an amateur language geek, this phrase right here totally made my day.

  3. I was just thinking of you and all the strangelings who were so very kind to me earlier this year when I was seeking some words of encouragement for my daughter who was and is struggling with anxiety. I cannot tell you how much it meant then and now. Really. I don’t have the words. Thank you all. You are wonderful.

  4. I feel like if this was on a shirt you could get away with strangling someone. If people pointed out that that’s not what your shirt said you could roar “Damn you autocorrect!”

  5. I’ve still not seen this movie (I know, I know… we had one TV growing up so if it wasn’t true crime, sports, or history I haven’t seen it, dad had the remote), but I love that quote. I love it even more now that you’ve fixed it.

  6. I love your fix and I love this blog. Everyone’s hit the nail on the hammer by describing a sense of belonging. However may I present a second option for alteration?
    We’re all pretty bizarre.
    Some of us are just better at ^not^ hiding it, that’s all.

  7. Don’t You Forget About Me is playing as I read this. Sometimes the Universe just loves on me. Thank you for being here.

  8. Perfection. Everybody needs a tribe. You have no idea the service you have done to the world by creating such a big, beautiful, bizarre one.

  9. And thank you, Jenny, for making bizarre so cool. I often say inappropriate things as well, conscious that my foreign accent will probably cause most people to let most of what I say slide. You’re my accent-less doppelganger.

  10. One of my favourite quotes is “weird is a side effect of awesome”. Don’t know who said it!

  11. My six-year old son said this to a neighbor recently, “Joe, you are not our family but I love you anyway.” That’s how I feel about Jenny and the rest of the tribe. And when I say love, I don’t mean it in a creepy way, just so you know…

  12. I thought it was stranglings, like the hugs. The necknhugs from the strangers who are friends you just haven’t convinced yet.

  13. Still learning how to embrace my bizarre and not strangle it. You’ve made it easier for us. Thanks for being an oasis of okayness out here on the internet. Now send that camel to bed.

  14. When I first saw “strangling,” I thought it meant people who strangled others. Or people who had been strangled. I think I’ll spell it strangeling, since I don’t want to be seen as either a strangler or a stranglee.

  15. Damnit Jenny, how do you always post things like this when I need to read it the most? Are you a mind-reader? Thanks for being the leader of this bizarre tribe.

  16. Hahahaha. I definitely just figured she was referencing Copernicus, but after meeting him at your book signing, I really don’t believe you anymore. That guy was pretty much the nicest non-strangly monkey I’ve ever met. Let’s be real here, his neck massages are just misinterpreted.

  17. I think of all the wasted years trying so hard to be normal, just trying to fit in. Wish I had realized much sooner that normal is BORING. 🙂

  18. So proud to find this tribe of strangelings… Seems like in the end we are all weird. Normal is odd.

  19. It’s like I tell my cats (yes, I talk to my cats–who doesn’t do that?) “You guys are weirdos–and I wouldn’t have it any other way”.

  20. “Normal” must be a very boring state of being. I love it when people call me strange, weird, crazy, or bizarre. That means I’m being absolutely true to myself.


    Seriously though, it’s nice having a group of people I can relate to and not have to explain why I’m crying 5 minutes after laughing.

  22. So I’m a bit confused—no stranglings are allowed here? I mean, should we be limiting our options like that just because of autocorrect?

  23. Thank you. This makes me feel much better after the strange looks I got from my husband after I brought him this awesome metal goat. It’s not me, it’s him. I knew it.

  24. Spellcheck is one of the biggest assholes around. I have pretty much never wanted to text “ducking” in my life, but somehow that’s what spellcheck defaults to. It doesn’t know me at all.

  25. What good timing! I’m feeling like a duck among starlings today, which would be a terrible pitch for a sitcom but might make for some interesting terrible poetry.

    Autocorrect has got me into terribly hot water recently. Most inappropriately when I almost told someone ‘I hope he dies’ instead of ‘I hope he does’.

  26. I won an award once for being the weirdest kid in an art school. So not only am I strange, I am art school, award winning weird. AND winning came as a total surprise to me, and a good surprise at that. Beat that, folks!

  27. Sadly, I am starting a new job Monday and I will be hiding my Strangelingness. I actually mentioned that to a (now former) co-worker. I hate trying to pretend to fit in with what others think as “normal”. However, HR really frowns upon people who shake things up a bit, as witnessed by me recently. Long story, but let’s just say that I (a very small fry) seem to have become a legend in my very large healthcare organization.

  28. As my friends who’ve gone with me to scifi/fantasy/whathaveye conventions know me to say: “THESE are my PEOPLE!” (Always said with Eva Peron on the balcony of the Casa Rosada arm raising.)

  29. I love the tweak you made to the quote. This blog has helped me to realize that it’s okay, even preferable, to be different.

  30. My daughter and I are both devoted fans of this blog and the whole community of stranglings/strangelings (take your pick) here. My husband is mystified by it all; he’s a strangeling, but in a totally different way. That’s what makes the world so great, right? That we can all appreciate our own strangeness and celebrate it, not hide it. The internet has honestly changed my life, and for so much the better I can’t even describe it.

  31. I love you and all of the other strangelings here! You make my own strange life better <3

  32. Oh Jenny, you know us so well! Thank you for giving us all a place to be ourselves.

  33. RJ – comment no. 9 – if you’re reading comments would you please email me? My 10-year-old daughter is struggling with anxiety and I would love to chat with you about it if you’re willing. I don’t know how else to reach you so I’ll just hope you’re reading comments… mommycarey at sbcglobal dot net.

  34. Thanks, I needed that. I feel this way, too. About you, Jenny, and about this wonderful community of “strangelings”. You are my tribe.

  35. i wish the comments section was more interactive (like the dreaded Facebook) because we could interact with each other more directly. Instead of serial comments (one after another). I think it would help me feel less isolated. We should have strangeling meet ups.

    (Agreed. ~ Jenny)

  36. Dammit Jenny, you made me cry again! So what you’re saying is that it’s ok to be a little broken? Because I’m feeling broken lately and I hope being broken is ok. Thank you for bringing us together. You’re the best.

  37. I have so often wanted to just say thank you to Jenny and all the tribe but I have always hesitated. But now I must say thank you out loud. With you I was able to talk to my daughters both of whom are blessed with both being strangelings and me wanting to have them be stranglings. Hard to decide sometimes. I have been able to talk to them about the lies depression tells and to be able to tell them it gets better. Again and again I have been reminded that with the right tribe, we can survive anything. So many smart words, kind hearts and earth-bound wisdom have passed through this blog and have given me and many others the giant arm floaty we need.
    Thank you all.

  38. This is great timing. My husband, long suffering like your Victor, told me last night that our “weirdling” (our DD) was my fault. I acutally take a little pride in that. Thanks for sharing.

  39. So it’s going to be one of those days in which one partial sentence “And I decided to write this post in case you needed to be reminded of how important you are to me…” can make me all misty eyed. Ugh feels.

    I can’t even begin to explain how important you have been to me Jenny. Thank you love xoxo

    I also now have a strong urge to watch the breakfast club, but I’ve got a couple shows to finish binge watching on Netflix first 😉

  40. Oh, this is sweetness today. Thank you! No one is ever remembered for fitting in. Have those words hanging on my family room wall, fellow strangeling:).

  41. I’m to old, stubborn and set in my ways to change. Besides, I like being strange, and weird, and different from everyone else, because what a boring world it would be if we where all cookie cutter copies. I am glad to count myself as a part of this world wide tribe of misfits, because why fit in when you where born to stand out? Love you and your blog, and I love the community it’s brought together.

  42. Reading this blog just makes me feel safer about my quirkiness. I like your fix and I really really like the term strangeling. I am going to use it a lot! And welcome to your new quirky young reader.

  43. Even though I’ve never heard your voice, I often hear you telling me “depression lies.” Thanks for that.

  44. Yes…and thank you for fostering the strange in the world. And I read it as strangeling the first time through…spell check just tried to change mine but I won’t let it in. 🙂

  45. I am so very happy to be a Strangeling and a member of this tribe. You guys make me laugh and cry and write way-too-long posts.

    I’d like a T-shirt please that says “Strangeling” or even “Strange-ling”. Maybe Beyonce could be on it…..

  46. Perfect! And there are the occasional stranglings – by Copernicus. But we don’t talk about that, right?

  47. I love being with the crazy people on the InterWebs, it allows me to get through living with all the “normal” ones who surround me in real life…!

  48. I love you and all my fellow strange longs, no auto correct! Strangelings, dammit! I love ya’ll in a bizarre internetty kind of way.

    I’m job searching and had to buy actual clothes for that which was really sucky, compared to that writing the resume was a breeze. Wish me luck peoples! Oh look a goldfinch!

  49. I love you & all my fellow strangelings. Finding your blog let me know I wasn’t by myself out here.

  50. I think I would like a badge actually – it should just say “Strangeling”, a bit like a sheriff’s badge from the wild west movies. Then if I saw anyone else wearing one we could just smile nervously (possibly from under a table or behind a door, just in case) and then we’d just … know. No worries if you can’t be fagged to make one, obviously, you’ve got stuff to do. x

  51. I guess there are at least 2 roads you can go down as a strangeling; either you try to hide it, and suffer as you feel you are untrue to yourself, but maintain some semblance of perceived normalcy, or you embrace the inner weirdo.
    Like many I alternate between the 2, but my true self is a strangeling through and through, and I’d rather be myself and be weird than try to fit in, in a world that just doesn’t make sense most of the time.
    Viva la strangeling revolution!

  52. I like your version so much I’ve added it to my bulletin board. (It’s a thing kind of like pinterest but in 3D, using real pins.) It has pride of place between my twelve point apathy scale and the ‘what would Buffy do?’ sticker. It’s diagonally opposite from my ‘God Bless the Freaks’ sticker, which gives it a nice balance. 🙂

  53. Oh I needed this so much today! Worst day ever (I’m in HR, you can imagine what it was like) and also stepping down from my anti-depressants. It was a mood swing from hell kind of day. I love that I can read your stuff, get a giggle or have my heart tugged, and I know our strangeling tribe gets it. Going to go eat a giant chocolate bar now. Much love peeps!

  54. Hahaha! Love your fix.

    And it’s so true.

    Bizarre makes the world go round. It’s our various brands of crazy that make unicorns sparkle.

  55. Interestingly, when I first read the quote, I read it exactly the way you changed it, i.e., I automatically left out the word “hiding”. I wonder what that says about me.

  56. I love you and am so happy to have found you. That sounds gooshy, and a little perve, but it’s true.

  57. Love this site, love these people (tho I rarely comment and join in), love you, Jenny and I’m happy this (new?) fan found the place. It’s another awesome person saved by awesome people.

  58. It’s definitely better as strangelings with an e like changelings and the quote fix is inspired, as usual. Check out the Strangeling art of Jasmine Becket-Griffith — they are perfect!
    http://www.strangeling.com/ .
    I’m off to check out her Book on Amazon and other stuff on Etsy!

  59. My sister gave me your book because she said it seemed like something i needed to read. I loved it so much i called her and told her perhaps i had a long lost sister because it spoke to me. I was sad the book was over, imagine my joy when she said ” you know she has a blog right?” . So glad i found this spot of happy in an otherwise questionable world.

  60. I agree, it’s good to be here and a reminder that humour is powerful medicine for pain and trauma. Means a lot to me, thank you!

  61. I agree with #2 – put that shit on a tee-shirt. you people are my strangling. I lurk, I love, I live.

  62. Have I mentioned that you’re my hero? The wind beneath my bloggy wings? When I discovered your book, it was so awesome to find that there is someone out there that has a whack-a-do brain like me! I spent most of my reading time laughing my ass off and saying things like, “Oh my god, I know, right?” and “That makes perfect sense to me, why is Victor not getting it?” And now I blog stalk you and try to make everyone read your blog so they can experience the awesomeness too. I have had to re-evaluate some folks’ worthiness due to their inability to find the humor in giant metal chickens and quirky taxidermy. I just don’t think I can trust someone that doesn’t snicker at Shakespearean mice or be adequately impressed by bedazzled deer heads! And spell check is a bitchy little bastard that just doesn’t understand that words like ‘bloggy’ and ‘snarky’ and ‘craptastic’ are totally legit and should never be questioned.

  63. Hope this doesn’t make me too odd for the tribe, but I actually read “strangling” as “strangeling” the first time I read it in the post. Probably just knew this is my tribe and my eyes saw what I expected to see? Thanks Jenny, either way.

  64. “dazzlingly odd person they are without apology” I love that! Thank you!

  65. Ha! My youngest son just pronounced that his older brother was “weird”. In addition to asking him to detail specifically why his brother was weird (he didn’t), I also asked him why he thought his brother was that way. When he couldn’t come up with an answer I told him it was because I was weird, and since he is my son, ergo weirdness. He’s still not happy that his brother is weird, but now I think I’ve gotten him to question his own situation – he is also my son. Ha, ha, ha. “Messing with their minds since 2000”

  66. I’ve become so good at it, I no longer apologise for it. Being bizarre, I mean, not stranglings. That comes under the category of ‘murdery’ rather than ‘bizarre’. And now I can’t decide if that’s ‘murdery’ or ‘murderey’. Spell check likes neither. Spell check can do one.

  67. That definitely needs to be on a t-shirt. And, I’m proud to be a strangeling! Another great movie quote is from the Johnny Depp version of Alice in Wonderland.”You’re mad! Bonkers! Completely off your head. But I’ll tell you a secret. All the best people are.”

  68. Sometimes I feel like an imposter here, because I have always had very good mental health – just luck of the gene draw, I know. But I have friends and family who are not as blessed, and I love to spend time with y’all. Thanks for being so inclusive and making us all welcome x

    (You guys are the ones who catch people like me when I fall. You are SO part of this tribe. ~ Jenny)

  69. I read this the other day and smiled. I think I’m gonna get a tshirt. (or maybe you can put one in your shop). So glad to be a strangeling and be good at it. Thank you so much for sharing your struggles AND your triumphs so we have a place to go.

  70. I’m strange and love it but my new neighbor is just odd damn it. And I mean weird odd. I long for a neighbor like yall.

  71. I just read this and started to cry. Like really cry. I live what seems like a very “normal” life because I’ve become very good at hiding it. After years as a mom in Suburbia (room parent, soccer mom, and even (gag) PTA president), I learned how to act in a herd of other moms so as not to blow my cover. I learned (mostly) when to keep my mouth shut. It’s lonely but I have those few friends that know and get it but not quite like you, Jenny, and the other people here. The other day, I was at my kids’ school with some moms (not my favorite situation) when one of them was describing someone as a “world-class weirdo.” I blurted out, “My favorite people on this earth are weirdos. And I’m a weirdo, too.” I got tired of hiding. And I love being a weirdo. And I love all of you weirdos, too.

  72. To sum up…We are a tribe of strangelings. We like mildly (and not-so-mildly) offensive t-shirts and wine. Our spirit animal is a giant metal chicken and our theme song comes from The Breakfast Club. We’d love to all meet each other one day, except for the fact that many of us don’t do well leaving the house and being social. Oh, and our leader collects, dresses, and names taxidermied animals.

    The truth REALLY IS stranger than fiction.

  73. I think I need a T-shirt that says “Weird and Proud” Because I got good at hiding it while still not quite fitting in and I was so tired of always pretending. I am now totally okay with being the weird Mom the other Moms at school are a little afraid of- I read somewhere a quote (it might be from a teen movie…) “Why are you always trying so hard to fit in, when it’s clear you were born to stand out!?” And it really resonated with me and I thought- YES. I was born to stand out, even if I have to stand alone, it’s okay, because I won’t be pretending anymore. And then I found this tribe with the best chief ever- none of us have to stand alone and that is wonderful and freeing. Thank you Jenny!

  74. HAHAHA. This is just what I needed to read today. Also, I want a poster of that hanging up on my wall. Make it make it make it!

  75. I’m so glad another Oddball found their way here. Welcome, fellow Strangeling.

    Thanks, Jenny, for never letting us forget we’re loved…even when it’s so easy to forget every now and then.

  76. This reminds me of another fave artist, who gave a TED talk on “finding your tribe”. Yay for the oddballs!

  77. I do kind of like the original. I’d like to be a strangling sometimes…

    (P.S. if anyone official is reading this, I don’t mean it really!)

  78. This is my favorite place on the net. I have never ever laughed as hard or felt as included anywhere else for over twenty years.
    Bookmark this particular page and our comments, Jenny, we owe a world of thanks to you, and so if you find yourself in a bad place, remember to look this over and see how much of a positive impact you have made.
    Proud to be a strangeling. P.S. reading your blog has probably kept me from strangling someone at one point, so I guess I’m actually a proud non-strangling strangeling. Strangleless Strangeling?
    Hey, great band name, the Strangling Strangelings!
    I love it here.

  79. I had to repeat ‘dazzlingly’ 3 times out loud and still can’t figure it out. Is it ‘dazz-ling-ly’ or ‘dazzle-ing-ly’?

  80. I really, really want your fixed version as a poster for my classroom. <3

  81. and get the support the need..,
    and get the support THEY need..,

    The imperfection of a genius writer makes me feel so much better about life.

  82. This was one of those very well-timed posts from you for me. Or maybe you always space them out perfectly so that it makes me feel better for a moment because it never feels meaningless. I’m definitely good at being on the more bizarre end of things.

  83. Amen Nona! Thanks to everyone for our tribe as well. This blog (and comments section) has helped me on many an occasion when I have desperately needed it.

  84. I love your update to the quote. Now strangeling I think should be added to the urban dictionary. I’d do it, but you’d probably write a better definition.

  85. I have a girl in my form at school who has Asperger’s, at parent’s evening she told me she didn’t feel like she fitted in. I told her we all feel like that sometimes. I’m going to have this projected on the screen during form time, I hope it will help her.

  86. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love your blog. It makes me feel less alone.

  87. Thank you for providing a forum for strangelings that is not only safe but celebratory. I’m a bouncing ball of odd who is still working on finding her proud. I’m still at the whispering-quietly-in-the-corner stage but hope to make it to the scream-it-from-Pride-Rock stage soon.

  88. “…realize they aren’t alone, and get the support they need to be the dazzlingly odd person they are without apology.” Amen. And I love the fix–in fact, as I read your post, I thought to myself, “well, there should be no hiding…” and then, whammo, you fixed it.

  89. My Strangeling bumper sticker arrived the other day. If you see me, wave, and I’ll do likewise! :0)

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