So, I just opened a package and I may have squealed a tiny bit and then Victor was like “NO MORE TAXIDERMY” and it was unsettling because HOW DID HE EVEN KNOW THAT? Apparently my “I’ve-got-taxidermy-mail” squeal is very obvious. Or perhaps he was just playing the odds. Regardless, he was right and he came into the room to tell me to stop with all the weird taxidermy because all those eyes on him were making him paranoid. Personally, I think that’s more his problem and he needs to sort out his emotional baggage and not bring it into our house. He says the same thing, but about my weird taxidermy.
But this one was harder to say no to because LOOK AT HER:
And Victor agreed that she was hard to say no to, but only because he doesn’t talk to dead animals. Which is sad because he’s missing out on a lot of conversations with excellent listeners.
(Made by the talented Lea Mai Nguyen of Le Heart Design.)
And now, time for the weekly wrap-up:
Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- A perfect card for absolutely nothing. One side has a flaming birthday wish and the other side says: “None of the other cards seemed right either, so I just went with this one.” Basically just tells people you’ve given up. And that’s nice because you’ve lowered their expectations and they will be happy that you even sent a card.
- As requested: STRANGELING. (If you’re here, you are one. Welcome home.)
- It’s the perfect thing to scream when you’re frustrated. And you can give it to someone awful and suddenly it has a second meaning.
Shit that I’m vaguely involved with on the internets:
Shit you should buy or steal because it’s awesome:
This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Laurel Talbot, author of I Love My Gay Badger Son. This surreal short novel about a child-free couple who end up raising a gay badger son from first grade to early adulthood was written in under 30 days during National Novel Writing Month. From the author: “My intention in writing this collection of vaguely true and hilarious stories is to put out there – for all gay, straight, human, badger, artsy, sciencey, ADHD, geniuses – that it gets better. Life will be tough, especially as you will struggle to figure out who you are and where you fit in. You may cry and want to hide for years. You may even want to give up and end it all-I know, because I have been there. Don’t. Stick with it because there will also be moments of pure joy, when you are doing things you love, surrounded by people who love the same things you love, and in those moments it will all be worth it.” You probably need to buy it.
148 thoughts on “How can you say no?”
Read comments below or add one.
You couldn’t say no. That is amazing (and I own no taxidermy).
Yeah, I’m thinking the squeal is justified.
Do you have a lot of nightmares?
Not all taxidermy is created equal…that is world class. Now I will spend the rest of the day thinking about how I would like to be rendered.
The taxidermy animals know what you did, Victor.
Oh wow…that’s freaking awesome. And Since I’ve been reading your blog I’ve gone from being repelled by taxidermy, to being strangely curious, to total acceptance. You really do provide a public service.
Poor little furry cute thing. Is it dead? xxx
That is the MOST PERFECT taxidermy for you. There is no way to say no to that.
It’s amazing, truly. Do we know how this rodent met its end before being taxidermied? Did it live a long and fruitful life, or was it…murder?
That is amazing. It’s like looking at you, except mouse form.
And her dress is mighty exquisite for a tiny creature.
Oh, wait. I found the answer on her website:
A lot of people are curious, sometimes concerned, about the origin of the mice.
I buy bags of frozen feeder mice online, the ones intended for snake consumption. The online vendor claims they’re killed humanely, which of course I have no way of verifying, but they have no visible injuries and since they’re intended as pet food, I assume they’re not poisoned.
I donate the bodies to my friend Alexandra, whose daughter rescues raptor birds. They need rodent meat to feed them, because that’s their natural prey.
That is so fabulous I can barely type and the fact that she is on a pedestal…….OMGsh….
Her work is disturbingly awesome.
That is epic.
So lets see…shopping list; giant backyard hammock – check – Squid costume for kid – check – bear costume for me – check – and oh yeah – lemurs…lots of Lemurs. those guys really know how to get to the center of a tootsie-pop
The bar is now quite high for all taxidermy that enters your presence henceforth.
I love her! She is perfect! My home is taxidermy free, but I would have a hard time saying no to her as well.
That is so cool! I can’t see why anyone would say no to that.
SQUEE! I love it! Lea has talent.
The costume is awesome. I will heartily recommend it to any women complaining about how skimpy women’s commercial costume designs are.
Someone complaining that it’s “too sexualized” in 5, 4, 3, …
That is amazing, and I’m generally not a fan of taxidermy.
Personally, I think you need an IndieGoGo for a museum. Because it would be a win-win. People would go see it, like that huge ball of twine. You could have signs on the highway, like the ones to the Crater or the ones to the Mystery Spot. They could say: Bloggessville Museum in 10 miles, 5 miles, 2 miles, 1 mile, TURN HERE and TURN AROUND, YOU MISSED IT. And they could have James Garfield and Beyonce on them. And then after the TURN AROUND one you could have another that features this new one and says, “You’ve disappointed The Bloggess. Well done.”
This lovely creature should sit in Victor’s office, so she can always keep eyes on him. (Hmm…maybe his paranoia stems from a guilty conscience?)
That mouse may very well be the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.
I can imagine this being aggressively marketed using the slogan: “Imagine YOU…..but in dead mouse form!”
(yeah it probably is a bit niche.)
You need to put that sucker in a cabinet or refrigerator, ya know somewhere she can shock and scare the hell out of people and then videotape their reactions.
Cover for your second book?! I think so!
Oh my…so many themes to cover here. The little mouse Bloggess is adorable; you really did create the perfect card; and I don’t know if you’d be able to wear the pajama “top” while driving but they certainly look like cozy pjs. 🙂
When is someone going to make me a mini mouse with a tinfoil hat? That’s really all I want to know.
I just have to ask… why do you do with the taxidermied stuff that Victor won’t let you keep? Goodwill? Garage sale? Ebay?
Wait, are the eyes of taxidermied animals their actual eyes? I think the eye thing might be what weirds me out about it. Actually no, even the eyes in Baby Borns used to freak me out. Although anything made in the likeness of yourself is exciting so I get why you’d like it. I LOVE anything that even has my name on it – even if it’s an author using ‘rosy’ as an adjective… This is why Lorde makes me feel shifty when she sings “Only bad people live to see their likeness set in stone, what does that make me?” Eye weirdness aside, this is kinda cool.
You know you are adored when fans start sending you dead animals dressed up like you. I mean, most people wouldn’t take it like that, but you definitely should.
But tell Victor she needs a blue sister swinging in a birdcage to be complete.
Yea, of all your taxidermy.. you just can’t say no to this one!
Those pyjamas are a little bit too John Irving.
I think I know what the “I’ve-got-taxidermy-mail” squeal sounds like because I’m pretty sure I just made it too looking at that picture. That is beyond amazeballs.
Love the description and reviews on the bear suit.
I wonder who was the first to stuff a dead animal and bring in the house? It had to have been a redneck. I have two black bears and a hog. They like to dress up at Christmas.
That is the cutest thing ever! Although it is a mouse and my cat may decide it’s a chew toy, but it’s the cutest thing ever!!!
I’m not even a huge fan of taxidermy but she is gorgeous.
BEST. DEAD. MOUSE. EVER. PERIOD.
I think Victor’s just jealous because he never gets interesting mail. That mouse is amazeballs.
I wonder if I would get kicked out of the zoo for bringing lollipops to the lemurs? Everyone deserves a lollipop and they are so cute. Hmm… Worth it.
Those lemurs should be the new ad campaign for tootsie pops.
I’d love to get that birthday card.
I love that Victor recognizes your “I’ve got taxidermy mail” squeal. TShe’s an awesome addition to your collection.
It’s gorgeous. There’s no way you could say no.
You can’t say no to surprise taxidermy. Ever since Steve Irwin yelled, “There’s 13 lemurs!” (with Australian enthusiasm) my family has been a little obsessed.
That is sofa king awesome! There will never be anything better. Ever!
Do you know Katie Innamorato http://www.al.com/entertainment/index.ssf/2014/10/taxidermy_class.html
Let me add you’ll be happy to know that Innamorato doesn’t kill any animals and acquires all her materials ethically. Nothing is killed expressly for her art. She uses roadkill, scrap skins from other taxidermists, fabric and natural materials.
My world is clearly too small as I’ve never, ever come across mouse taxidermy. Who knew? I must admit it is bad-assed in the strangest possible way. Does that make it (her?) the newest strangeling in this group?
That little mouse is EPIC! And it should totally be sitting on your desk like forever!
That is amazing. And reminded me of a commercial I saw that reminded me of you. Please please please tell me you have see “Dead Mouse Theater”! I don’t work for Tomcat or have anything to gain here other than their comercial reminding me of you.
No no, you don’t understand. I NEED one of those. It’s PERFECT!!! ohmyfuckinggoodness
Best. (Jenny Lawson) Gift. Ever.
So happy for you. Fuck Victor… and of course, I mean that in the best way possible. 😉
Did you name her The Mousess? She is a mouse right? I’m not very good with taxidermy, but I’m trying…
I read this to my husby. He immediately went back to whatever he was doing on his computer muttering…I’m just going to stay over here…
Now am I getting Facebook ads for bear costumes…
She is naturally beautiful which makes me wonder why she chose to be a brunette instead of her natural shade. I mean–does she think we can’t tell? 🙂
Poor little mousie! Why must animals die to make you happy? Huh? Huh?
First, the Bloggess mouse is amazing!
Second, was it a real living mouse at one point?
She is adorable! I imagine Chinese workers salving day and night making these!
oow! she is the dead mouse you
So…very…adorable. Can’t say no!
that is freaking brilliant! really love that! not for me, but perfect for you! I can see why you would squeal!
Yeah, she was totally meant to be yours…it is practically like winning an Oscar to receive such a gift.
That. Is. BRILLIANT.
I am not a taxidermy person. But that…I would have.
I am guessing that Victor will not let you share a bed with him if you are wearing that costume. Way too many eyes. (And I am stuck without any contractions in my sentences because my computer has been possessed and thinks è is an apostrophe, among other things.)
True Confessions: I’ve always been a skootch more Team Victor when it comes to your undead creatures, but this little lady is beyond adorable. Apparently I also have an “I’ve-got-taxidermy-mail” squeal, and today was its debut. Enjoy your lovely tiny hairy likeness!!
I clicked on that pajamas link, and ads for full-grown bear costumes are following me all across the internet.
She is amazing and perfect. You should put her in a very prominent place in your house. PS…thanks for the video of lemurs eating lollipops. Truly made my day.
please, please, pretty please, can you make a poster of the “pretty bizarre” quote? it needs to be in my office.
Every time you post a picture of new taxidermy, I think about how one of these days (when she’s much older), Hailey is going to bring home that special young man, and about how he’ll either roll with the weird, or run away screaming.
I hate mice and am not a fan of taxidermy, but that is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.
Since I went and looked at the link to the pajamas, all my side bar ads have been for adult bear costumes. I’m not sure this is a good thing.
She is soooo cute! Now its time to find one the looks like victor
I should know better than to click on any Amazon links. Now every add on every webpage is for bear costumes. I guess that’s better than wireless routers or slipper socks or whatever else I searched for last.
I clicked on the Le Heart Design link too, but sadly no ads for super cute taxidermied mice have shown up yet. Is it bad I want a vampire mouse?
Wow, Laurie and I must surf the same web pages. How freaky is that?
Um so that’s pretty much the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. I know what my 2 year old is getting from Santa.
She is so cute – I think she’s SMILING!! Is her name Jenny perhaps or something even fancier?
That is so awesome!
She is freaking ADORABLE!!! Don’t you dare not keep her!
How could you not squeal at that? How could HE not squeal at that? Omg, too funny!
Well played, Bloggess. I innocently clicked on the “warm pajamas” link and am now being stalked by bear costume ads no matter where I run to on the internet. My Amazon browsing history is already weird enough, but I can always count on you to kick it up another notch.
I would definitely squeal if that little mouse turned up in my mail! Not for the same reason you did, I guess. Still, as taxidermy goes, she’s super-cute and just perfect for you. The point of presents is that person receiving them likes them, surely?
That is a fabulous piece of taxidermy.
Totally adorable, but I would’ve held out for a purple dress.
That is THE most amazing piece of taxidermy I’ve ever scene. Wow
I’m with V on this one… I don’t like when dead animals (or birds dead or alive) stare at me.
Okay. That’s pretty darn impressive and very cool. If someone mailed me taxidermy, I would know I have truly made it.
She is exquisite!
That is so completely adorable!!! Thanks to you, I don’t feel that my granddaughter is completely crazy for “rescuing” a taxidermied squirrel from the neighbor’s garage sale leftover pile! She loves it even more because it keeps me from wanting to be in her room at all.
I get the eyes thing.. one night my man turned all my daughter’s stuffed animals (fake ones)to LOOK at me while I slept. I was mortified!
OHMYGAWD! it’s a you-mouse. I’d squeal like a mofo too.
I have to admit, I’m a little disappointed there was no link to an actual strangling.
And I love your new taxidermy, she is lovely!
OMG, this is a book cover! It’s perfect.
She’s beautiful! You have to keep her!
Oh, I dig. I totally dig. This is perfect. I agree, this should be the cover of your next book.
That should be like a fucking award everyone can win.
I was at my vet today and overheard the vet techs talking about a dog that had to have emergency surgery today because it ate an entire taxidermied mouse. 🙂 If we did not live so far from you, I’d wonder if it was one of your mice.
It’s like an awesomeness award that should be displayed prominently and carried with you EVERYWHERE. Especially if you’re by yourself, so you’d have completely badass mouse-twin company to talk to.
I squealed, too! It’s perfect!
She is lovely! I still think that one day I will have a hedgehog of my very own, to dress as I see fit!
I hate rodents with like a full on body shaking, trembling reaction. I mean, college biology class could’ve doubled for psych when it came to freeze dried rats.
And even I couldn’t say no to that.
I am still sure that one day I will have a Hedgehog of my own. To dress as I see fit. I love Hedgehogs.
That is the cutest thing ever. I think she deserves a Christmas tree or a pumpkin all her own. Maybe she could live on the top of it complete with a tasteful spotlight. Probably Victor would love it because then she/you/huh would be decor.
Are you going to make a t-shirt for Stangeling also? I don’t have a car and although I love you to death buying a car for the bumper sticker is a bit too much I think. : )
I have never commented before but had to say that is AWESOME.
That animal is adorable! And really you should be allowed to get her because she fits in with the red dress campaign. I say call dibs on that cutie!
She is a thing of beauty and a joy to behold
That is just amazing! NO ONE could say no to that.
I still can’t quite figure how they did it. Great art work. This ranks up there with those sculptures that are actually paper and you can fan it out into some mush looking stuff…
Haha. Thank you for helping me fix my feed issues on this. I thought my feed wasn’t working again, but really I had my old blogspot address from before switching to wordpress listed as my main site.
I don’t really get taxidermy, but that one I want! squeal away!
Of COURSE, you had to have that! What is WRONG with Victor???
OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!! Did it sound like that?!? I think she could make a living out of creating taxidermied versions of famous people.
Are you effing kidding?!! That thing is freaky cool!!
She is perfect! And I’m wiping tears of laughter away from clicking on the “pajamas” you were looking at. I say go for it.
Wow! She’s gorgeous.
I love that. She’s perfect. Tell Victor I said he’s being an old fuddy-duddy if he doesn’t like her.
I had to laugh out loud when I first saw her standing there….on her own perch. But she is so cute and so you that I just fell in love! Victor does not know what he is missing out on…..
In the highly unlikely event that anyone started sending me taxidermy in the post, I think I’d actually squeal too, granted it would be for an entirely different reason because I’m a bit of a wimp when it comes to dead rodents. Love rodents too actually. In fact any animal other than a cat or dog pretty much terrifies me…. Lame I know.
In a red dress no less. Beauty!
I wish that card had come out a few weeks ago. My daughter just had a birthday and it would have been perfect for her. My very own strangeling Maggie got me hooked on you with the Beyonce post.
I will cop to the fact that taxidermy freaks me out a little, and even I squee-ed when I saw this. Perfection…fantastic, amazing perfection.
My imaginary alter-ego’s father was a freelance taxidermist, who stuffed a pair of gay ferrets for Prince Philip.
Taxidermy teaches us about foreign culture. The German diplomatic corps agrees: http://www.germany.info/Vertretung/usa/en/__pr/GIC/TWIG__WoW/2014/40-Wolpertinger.html
Lea Mai Nguyen is truly talented, his art is amazing, even I squealed when I saw it. then I went to his site and now I want me some mices.
At the local Antique Mall there are some taxidermied animals. I’d like to name one of them “The Blogess” so I could have meaningful conversations with her and perhaps decorate her for special occasions. (It’s ok – the people there know me). There’s a deer (head only), a boar (head only) and a fox (entire but slightly mangy). Which One shall it be???
meow meow meow
This brought taxidermy to a new level. Love it.
She is amazing, eloquent despite her silence, and a damned snappy dresser. Victor should PROUDLY disply her on his desk–he could rehearse conversations with you so he doesn’t come out of the real ones feeling like he put his foot in his mouth again. the Bloggess mouse could be his good luck charm!
Someone probably already sent this to you but just in case http://www.vice.com/read/women-are-dominating-the-rogue-taxidermy-scene-666
Thanks for the great blog, by the way.
I am in need of a red dress….is anyone still doing this?
She is perfect and beautiful. I’m kind of with Victor on the taxidermy situation, but I could never say not to her!
If you get those pajamas could you come and wear them at my office and scare away the creepy/smelly and constantly urinating in front of me homeless dude…he sleeps on the stairs in front of the office door.
She is amazing 🙂
SHE IS PERFECT.
This could help with the warm pajama issue. It’s a little more affordable and should be back in stock soon! http://www.thinkgeek.com/product/f42a/
I’m probably far behind the times, but Etsy just released a collection
of felted animals that look real. Perhaps released is the wrong word…
Emailed me the wonder that is felted animals which you couldn’t possibly
catch any flack for because they are felt. (They look real. Amazing.)
I am not a fan of taxidermy, and even I like that one. Haha
This is for you, “Dead Mice get Second ‘Life'” – http://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/news/141023-mice-taxidermy-vin?utm_source=Facebook&utm_medium=Social&utm_content=link_fb20141027video-micevod&utm_campaign=Content&sf5414354=1
It is perfection.
Someone knows you and love you. That mouse is so cute
she is GLORIOUS!