This is what’s happening in my mind anyway.

This weekend I’ll be at WordCamp in San Francisco to talk about blogging.

I’m not afraid to admit that my 10-year-old daughter knows far more about coding than I do, and that I suspect anyone who can create a website using strings of seemingly random words and numbers must be involved in some sort of witchcraft.  If anyone asks me any difficult questions about programming or java or algorithms I will probably react in almost exactly this way:

You’ve been warned, San Francisco.

81 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Epitaph suggestion: “Reacted lovingly to unexpected taxidermied animal carcasses and but was terrified when confronted by web code.”

  2. It might be fun to ask you a difficult question, just to capture your reaction on video :p Good luck at WorldCamp!

    Eden recently posted Getty Center Gardens: Living Work of Art.

  3. I would pay money to see you talk about coding using Copernicus and Juanita as props.

    Cassandra recently posted Throwdown Thursday: The Power of Positive Procrastination.

  4. Man, I’d do it just for the laugh.

  5. I really like that the reporter started having that reaction and then literally ran with it.

    Tragic Sandwich recently posted A Little of This, A Little of That.

  6. OMG, I love how he puts it down so slowly and then runs away yelling…

  7. I enjoy that he continues to run well after he’s away from the chicken. I suspect there may have been a discussion before this piece about his severe fear of birds…during which he was bribed to do it anyhow.

  8. I usually only have that reaction when I’m holding a Rhode Island Red.

  9. Try to visit Loved To Death in the Haight. Great taxidermy. Last time I was there, they had taxidermy mice in little dioramas, complete with cute outfits.

  10. I am now exceedingly jealous of my coworker who is there this weekend – alas, I chose to take a vacation instead. What was I thinking?!

  11. All birds are evil. Except Beyonce. Until they are tasty, all birds are evil.

  12. I find that to be a completely normal and socially acceptable reaction to ANYTHING math related. I wish I could behave that way in just about any situation, now that I think of it. Go make us proud!

    Gina W. recently posted I keep finding rubber handcuffs in my bed.

  13. That clip is GLORIOUS.

    Gabriela (@cluelesspixie) recently posted film: Sinister.

  14. 14
    happyhourmary

    It used to be true that you needed to be nice to your kids because they were going to take care of you in your old age. Now they will also be able code while doing that. It’s not fair.

  15. Chickens are bastards! Way scarier than coding.
    Which I guess just shows you how little I know about coding, I guess.
    This made me snort coffee out my nose. Thanks for sharing.

    Manicmom recently posted I so freaking love these people.

  16. As long as you don’t run screaming from a rooster.

  17. Hmmmm…that’s a big cock right there…

    Michelle recently posted Confessions Of A Bad Mom: Parental Fails.

  18. San Francisco is finally going to be cool.
    Have fun, Jenny!

  19. OMG, that was so funny. Pretty sure he’s suffering from PTSD now.

  20. 20
    Char Vanderweel

    You’ll be in my neck of the woods. Yeah! Warning taken; however if we were in the same room together I am certain I would be rendered speechless and starstruck by your awesome self. Also, any chance you’d autograph my Juanita Weasel water bottle? KHAAAAAAAAN!!!!!

  21. Dvuf/s1676/3tVRBtVBL3tDFa8/VBAAAAA !!!
    ahref4XSFC//s320F !

    Momma Bird recently posted I swear, its not what you think.......

  22. And Australians are still sexy.

    Cary Vaughn recently posted Pat Robertson Exposes Secret to Gay Agenda.

  23. For some odd reason I thought you meant you would react like the chicken and fly around everywhere, reigning hellfire on the peasants beneath you. Or poop. That might be funnier.

  24. that is the hardest i have laughed in weeks. as the commenter about said – GLORIOUS.

  25. If you find you need a bathroom to hide in, you’re welcome in mine (although the 45 minute drive might make it a little inconvenient for you). Hello from San Jose!

  26. 26
    pmacleod2014

    I’m in a interactive media program where we HAVE to learn code, and I feel this way ALL. THE. TIME.

  27. So that’s not a taxidermied bird. Because that would make it all the more alarming. Have fun this weekend!

    Joanne recently posted The True Waffle Story.

  28. I love this video. Made my day.

    That said, coding is not as bad as you’d think. From a high level, it looks like cat-scratchings on a table leg, but once you start to make sense of it, most of it is easy to handle — especially with WYSIWYG.

    See what I did there? I made myself sound all tech-smart.

    notesfromthebathroomfloor recently posted Bad, Bad Brain! Tell Your Brain Who’s Boss.

  29. I’m totally w/you. I’ll go you one further, and say I don’t give a damn if it’s small men running around inside my walls, making the lights come on, as long as they do when I flip the switch.

    The Imp recently posted Before Coffee.

  30. Hi! I have nominated you for the One Lovely Blog Award! I think your blog is great and deserves to be shared. Read here for more: http://www.chronicperspective.com/one-lovely-blog-award/

  31. It’s like dropping the mic and walking away… but he did it with a chicken… and ran… screaming.

    But That's For Another Blog recently posted MY BABY’S GOING TO THE FINALS!!! (baby = dog) (finals = cutest dog contest)… (your judging = shut up)..

  32. “Let’s just agree that any questions related to coding, etc. will be handled by Wil Wheaton. Otherwise…” Then show the clip followed by, “Any coding or other nonsensical questions, no? OK. Don’t make me show you how one stuffs such a chicken for display.”

  33. Word camp sounds about as much fun as math camp. CAMP should never be about work. But I guess it’s all about what you make of it, so have some fun anyway.

  34. If they were asking me any of those questions, I’d just tell them to Google it, but in a creepy, condescending Edward Cullen kind of way. Literally, everything I have learned about “coding” was on the internet with a quick how-to video. I know how to type and add pictures, but that’s about it.

    Jess Reyna recently posted What Was That Toys R' Us? You Sell Fake Bags Of Meth? Oh Okay, Just Checking..

  35. Wow an Australian weather man on your Blog. That’s awesome 🙂

    Gary Lum recently posted Comment on Tees Trading House Review by Gary Lum.

  36. That is my most natural reaction to pretty much everything.

  37. I love the running down the aisle waving arms over head. That’s so me!

  38. I live in the SF Bay Area, and decided to check out the event. Wow. Boring AND difficult . My friends and I were thinking we would drop by and hear you, and then have a nice dinner in the City. Looking at the agenda , we would be totally innaproprate for this event. For most events, actually.. Disappointing, because we do so love your sense of humor. It would have also been a good time to shop for a full sized Beyonce the chicken for our friends recent ex. Knock knock !

  39. OHMYSHIT. THIS VIDEO.

  40. I will be there. I will not ask a difficult question. However, the answer to all difficult questions, in the context of WordPress is “Blame Nacin”.

  41. That chicken personifies my whole week. I AM THAT CHICKEN.

  42. I love how he continues running and screaming all the way through the building hahaha 🙂

    Alanna recently posted Everybody Loves Comedy And Free Shit. Get Yours Here!.

  43. Are you saying you would react like the chicken or the reporter? Because I can see it going either way.

  44. That’s me when the kids bring home math I have no recollection of learning in school. Have fun at Wordcamp! 🙂

  45. While you’re in San Francisco, you should stop by Paxton Gate. They have an awesome taxidermy unicorn and lots of other neat things! https://paxtongate.com/

    Also, I work in tech and have the exact same reaction when someone asks me a question.

    Erin Joan Snyder recently posted Technically Supportive.

  46. It’s simple really – it’s just a series of tubes.

    notquiteold recently posted One Ringy-Dingy.

  47. Allow plenty of time to get where you’re going — San Francisco is out of control right now with the World Series! It is SO CROWDED. Good luck!

  48. Oh my god, that video. The camera work is perfect.

    Alyssa recently posted Mandarin Oranges with Dark Chocolate and Sea Salt.

  49. The video wouldn’t play on my slow connection. It just showed a giant frozen image of chicken.

    I don’t think I really need anything else anyway.

    Aria Bauer recently posted Thanks For: Putting Nukes Inside Hurricanes Is Not A Good Idea.

  50. My life mantra is “we are all strange and worthy of love”. Go have fun. ! Blow the rest of it off!

  51. ok, that made me laugh so hard I couldn’t talk! My husband wants me committed. Thanks! I really really needed that laugh today

    Mary-Anne recently posted Re-visiting the past.

  52. Hilarious running down the aisle!

  53. Argh, wish I’d known you were in my neck of the woods! If you like garlic, head for The Stinking Rose for dinner. You’ll be safe from vampires for about a month afterwards.

  54. Jesus, I was just thinking how awesome it would be if you were in my area, and you’re speaking in SF tomorrow! I wish I were attending!

  55. The big question of course is what you would say if they asked your opinion of a big black Australasian cock?

    Jamie recently posted You can’t sing ‘I Dreamed a Dream’ while smiling!.

  56. My one year old somehow knows how to use my phone. I don’t even let her play with it–she just grabs it and starts swiping the apps. Meanwhile, I won’t even approve a software update without extensively questioning my husband as to whether or not said update will kill my device.

    Eva recently posted Domesticity In Action.

  57. Bridget Jones could not have done it any better than that reporter with that insanely oversized chicken! Enjoy your weekend in San Francisco- here’s hoping all the talk is of words and not code!

    fillyourownglass recently posted Five Things You Need to Stop Saying.

  58. Whatever you’re doing, its working. As a fellow blogger, I know how hard it is to consistently get traffic, something you appear to do effortlessly. Bravo.

    Laurie recently posted 3 Ways to Tell if You're a Nerd....

  59. Awesome work! Check out my blog if U love fashion!

  60. Awesome work! Check out my blog if U love fashion!!

  61. That is frelling hilarious. Best laugh all morning.

    FYI — not all Australians are chicken. I mean, not all Australians are needlessly frightened of chickens. 😉

    Dark Matter Zine recently posted The Emperor’s New Prose.

  62. I love that clip. I bet he was bribed to hold that rooster.

  63. I own a very large chicken of that same breed. They are startlingly big. And, to add to the scary? If he was correct in stating that it’s a cockerel, then it’s a baby. Cockerels are under one year old, after one year they are called cocks. So that bird still has some growing to do.

  64. Cut loose, watch some RoundBallSportThingy that they have going on out there. Find a Cockerel and pitch it, just like in the vid, and start a new SportCockThrowingThingy- it might take hold. Or, you can just go to some indoor conferenceThingy as you planned…. (evil smile), eh?

  65. I’m sure you’ll do fine. However, in case you don’t, just do like guy did. If the question scares you, run!!! LOL.

    Michael Rochelle recently posted Real Men Wear Tiaras.

  66. I wish I had known you were going to be in town! 🙁 Would have totally taken off work and come seen you. If you have time before leaving, come down the coast a little bit and come to Half Moon Bay and visit the store I work in, Oddyssea! You will LOVE it! Promise. :o)

    http://oddyssea.com/

  67. You haven’t been heard from since this post. I’m afraid you might have run all the way to Oregon by now.

    The Dusty Parachute recently posted My Pumpkin Text Fail.

  68. San Francisco can’t handle The Bloggess!
    Where did that come from? I must be channeling Jack today…

    The Hook recently posted Saturday Morning Shenanigans With The Hook..

  69. thanks for that! i haven’t seen that clip in awhile.
    and, if you can make people laugh, which we all know you can do… you will kill it in san fran. good luck!

    jennifer niles recently posted a few things i am loving.... by way of australia.

  70. My aunt is so creeped out abd afraid of birds, she won’t even tolerate a down pillow or comforter. You ciuld never have gotten her to try holding that cockerel. So kudos to the reporter for giving it a try.
    I betcha he won’t even hold an egg now.

  71. I should know by now NOT to read your fabulous blog at work! I work in a university library and laughing at chickens on the internet is frowned upon. I just held in my laugh at my desk and I think my brain blew a gasket!! Tears running down my face right now! Oh lord, thank you for the laugh. Stay weird Jenny!

  72. I’m deathly afraid of roosters, so I give props to this guy for even holding the little monster. I wouldn’t walk in the building.

  73. that.was.awesome!!!! that guy made my morning

  74. I love that you look at what I do everyday as witchcraft. Much like the majestic unicorn, I HAS TEH MAGIKS!

  75. Web code? I feel a scream coming on.

    Holly recently posted Unbelievable: I found some good news!.

  76. Hi Jenny…. I went to my 30 year high school reunion this weekend. And thanks for the dress recommendation… I chose to give myself a red dress moment.

  77. At least Word Camp sounds better than fat camp, which is where I will be heading if I keep “testing” the Halloween candy.

  78. I can’t imagine. I just learned how to make a word a link and was surprised that it was magic after all!!

    Stephanie@themadchatters.com recently posted Holiday Masochist.

  79. Okay that cracked me up and I don’t even speak Australian.

    Beck recently posted Not Yet Men.

  80. Did anyone else notice that on the screen shot after the video played, the weather map has huge penis shaped ‘afternoon thunderstorms’ storm system shape?

  81. Wow! Thanks for the morning laugh, you really got my day started off right!

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