I’m broken. I’m furiously happy. Both of these things are true.

If you’ve been reading here you know that my next book comes out in a few days.  It’s subtitled “A funny book about horrible things” because Furiously Happy is all about looking for the light in spite of the dark parts of life that weigh us down.  It’s easy to lose yourself in the fog so when you find your way out it’s important to celebrate that victory with joy so that you can remember it and carry that hope and that memory with you the next time you go back into battle.

I have clinical depression, severe anxiety disorder, chronic pain, and a host of other disorders.  My broken, dark times are terrible…but the bright, furiously happy moments are blinding.  I wanted to find a way to share that but I couldn’t do it alone, so I reached out on the internet and asked for volunteers brave enough to share with me.  And thousands of you responded and the responses broke my heart and then made it stronger again.  I wish I had 100 videos because there were so many amazing stories I wanted to share, but I only have one video and I hope (and believe) it’s strong enough to inspire us all a little.

(Click here if you don’t see the video, or want to make it bigger.)

So now what?  That’s up to you.  You can watch the video and if it speaks to you you can share it.  If you are moved to then you can share your own words in the comments.  If you want to share your own images of why you are broken but still furiously happy to inspire others that would be amazing.  (And if you tag it with #furiouslyhappy others will be able to see it and share.)  Or if you simply watch it once and it makes you smile then it’s done its job.

PS.  An enormous thank you to everyone who shared their words, to the brave people who sent in video – both to the people you recognize and already love, and to the people you don’t recognize but love now. Thank you to the people who were on board until it was time to film and then realized they just couldn’t do it, because your strength in saying, “No, I’m not quite ready to share this yet” is inspiring and a reminder that self-care comes in many forms.  Thank you to my niece Gabi who wrote and played the song on the video, and thank you to the creative team who made this a reality.  And thank you for watching.  And sharing.  And supporting.  And for saving me and so many others.  Thank you for everything that you are.

459 thoughts on “I’m broken. I’m furiously happy. Both of these things are true.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. For those of you who need it transcribed, here are the words:

    (People holding up signs reading)
    I’M BROKEN BECAUSE:

    My anxiety disorder tells me I’m alone.

    My brain tells me no one could ever love me.

    My anxiety tells me every mistake is a disaster.

    My PTSD tells me life is too hard to live.

    I always fail at everything.

    Abuse. Trauma. PPD. Bipolar disorder.

    Society has shamed me for my body shape, size and appearance.

    I missed out on a fun and carefree childhood.

    I spent the first 30 years of my life being told I was worthless.

    My childhood was really messed up.

    I have debilitating episodes of vertigo.

    The scars on my body tell a story of hate.

    The blackness of my bipolar disorder drove me to suicide.

    Cancer took away all the parts that made me a beautiful woman. Permanent baldness (This is a wig.) Double mastectomy. Ovarian removal = menopause. Incurable arm swelling.

    My Asperger’s makes me socially awkward.

    I suffer from postpartum anxiety.

    Sometimes my anxiety keeps me from trying new things.

    I can’t throw anything away.

    I can’t fit all the reasons on this sign.

    My past.

    He left.

    I’ve let people break me.

    The stigma of mental illness has surrounded me for years.

    I feel like a failure every day.

    I never feel like I’m part of a group. I don’t fit in.

    (Then the same people flip their signs to show the back)

    I’M FURIOUSLY HAPPY BECAUSE:

    I know my tribe is out there.

    Because of all of the people in my life who prove that’s a lie every single day.

    The only difference between a happy ending and a sad one is where you stop the story. I’m not done.

    I don’t need him.

    I am spending my life making sure others know how priceless they are.

    My daughter is my own personal firefly gently leading me on.

    Good people have made my adulthood awesome.

    I’m a survivor, an empowered patient, and artist, thriving, and a Prince fan.

    I’m living anyway.

    Sometimes I find five perfect words and write them down.

    Version 2.0 of me is stronger, kinder and more helpful.

    I get back on my feet, every time.

    Cancer could not get the two things that matter most: my children and my life.

    I know myself and am comfortable in my skin.

    My husband loves me anyway.

    I can read and eat cookies at the same time.

    I can’t fit all the reasons on this sign.

    I know whoever bad I mess up, I will survive. Because friends, and stuff.

    I am NOT alone.

    #furiouslyhappy

  2. I am crying the best sort of tears right now.

    I’ll admit to being scared to read your book though in the same way that some of the hyperboleandahalf posts are scary for me to read. They’re hilarious, but they’re also too close to home.

  3. Thank You for this. Often it’s hard to see, but this video reminds me that I’m not alone and that there is hope.

  4. That was such a great video! I love every single one of those people and I’m proud to be part of their tribe!

  5. Awe man – time to clean the mascara streaks on my face! And was anyone else humming the theme from the Brady Bunch at the end of the video?

  6. I’m broken because I have gaping, dark wounds that often seem unfixable (pft, is to a word spell check), and I’m furiously happy because the darkness helps me see how jaw dropping and wonderful the light is. And because knowing I’m not alone, kind of a game changer!

  7. I teared up and have come to the conclusion that your heart is so beautiful…no one can ever change that.

  8. <3 Thank You so much for this. It’s getting to the time of year where I have a very hard time controlling my PTSD, SAD, and clinical depression. I’m Furiously Happy that you have helped me look at my broken pieces in a new way and now they are slowly becoming a mosaic of wholeness once again.

  9. I’m crying so hard right now. These people are all so brave, and so are you, Jenny. Now I want to share mine, too.

    I’m broken because: I was bullied from the age of ten to eighteen for everything from developing breasts early to being a sci-fi geek to getting good grades. I’ve been treated for depression since the age of sixteen.

    I’m furiously happy because: My friends, family, and therapist have pulled me back from the brink so many times. I am pursuing a career I love. I am loved. I am worthy of being alive.

    I love you all.

  10. I used to be broken but I was lucky enough to benefit from modern psychopharmacology. Now I am happy and helpful. (And I love that Scalzi is in your video!)

  11. I’m absolutely crying at work because I see myself in so many of these statements and it makes me FURIOUSLY HAPPY to know that I’m NOT ALONE. (Sorry, I had to shout!) I have to send my love out to blogess for this and for all those beautiful, brave souls who became a part of this video (either by being in front of the camera or behind it).

    THANK YOU.

    Much love. <3
    A broken, yet furiously happy Canadian girl.

    PS – Blogess – I have promised myself that I will buy your book when money does not become so tight. I am furiously happy (see what I did there? eh? eh?) that the ebook is available for my Kobo when I do find some cash! Thank you for being you. <3

    (Check your email. 🙂 ~ Jenny)

  12. Thank you. I needed these feels today.

    I’m broken because I’m a product of my environment growing up.
    I’m furiously happy because I get to influence my future.

  13. Awww, you guys! Yes, you in the video. You made me cry the best kind of tears. Wildly impressed by your strength and courage!

  14. I can’t even right now. Just…tears. This was so beautiful to watch. And to remember that I can be furiously happy too, no matter how broken I am. Thanks, Jenny.

  15. Tears running down my face at the office. Lovely. Can’t wait to see you all out there for the book tour and/or blanket fort party!

  16. I’m broken because I’m afraid of emotions. There is some weird dampness around my eyes. Curse (bless) you, Jenny and your damn raccoon, for giving me a safe space to feel.

  17. Drew: That’s amazing! Congratulations to your hubby for finding the courage to do this. I am amazed and inspired by him and all the others today. <3

  18. The feels are strong with this one. Thank you to all the brave souls who shared their brokenness and wholeness – you are braver than I am. I am broken and still trying to reduce the gap between heart and mind to become furiously happy.

    Bless you Jenny xxx

  19. I should have realized that watching this at work was a bad idea. Crying now. But glad I watched it.
    I am Furiously Happy because I am finally comfortable with who I am and am not trying to conform to someone else’s idea of me.

  20. Omg I’m crying. And I can’t stop.

    I’m broken because: I can’t have children.
    I’m furiously happy because: I have a supportive family. And friends. And you.

  21. I felt bad for chickening out. But this is beautiful.

    (Don’t. Having people back out reminded me that it’s okay when I sometimes have to say no too. That it’s okay to not always be strong. That sometimes the most brave thing you can do is to take care of yourself so that you inspire others to do the same. That is a very, very good thing. ~ Jenny)

  22. This was incredibly touching. All the tears. It hit so close to home and it was amazing to see so many people echoing the thoughts in my own mind. It was especially eye-opening to see those very well-known, well-loved, successful people sharing their hurts and happiness. Thank you to each and every one of the people in this video.

    I’m broken because I feel like nobody understands me, and that they won’t be able to find me in this darkness.
    I’m furiously happy because as difficult as it’s proving to be, one of them is trying his hardest to shine a light and look for me. ♡

  23. I am broken. Too many reasons. I am furiously happy to be a part of your tribe and know I am not alone. This has been a hard week. Lots of tears. Thank you for giving me something to smile about.

  24. The idea that folks like John Scalzi and Patrick Rothfuss can feel so worthless is a huge reminder that mental illness doesn’t discriminate. It impacts many, no matter what ethnicity, status, or religion.
    With all the hatred going on this week (#IStandwithAhmed), this is such a beautiful reminder that we are not alone. I needed that reminder today. Thank you.

  25. Yeah…if whoever is sending these onion cutting ninjas around could stop…

    I’ve been sick with the cold from hell lately and depressed because I don’t feel up to anything and angry that I feel depressed because come one, who wants to do anything when they’re busy blowing their brains out through their nose. I needed to see this to remind me that even though I’m sick (and broken) I can still be happy. Thanks

  26. I’m seriously crying. This is the most amazing, beautiful video message I’ve ever seen. Thank you.

  27. Would love to have helped, and it’s okay that you didn’t need me to. The video is beautiful. Great job, Jenny!

  28. Oh, Jenny, this made my cry…. but such tears of joy and happiness and hope! Thank you for being here for us. ALL of Us who need you.

  29. Oh crap, there’s something in my eye. Wait, both eyes. Darn hayfever.
    Thank you, as always, for exposing your most vulnerable thoughts to the world. We love you for it.

  30. To the guy who reads and eats cookies at the same time: sometimes I read and eat cookies at the same time too. You are not alone. 🙂

  31. Ugh, the feels, THE FEELS!!! I don’t want to cry at work! I love you Jenny. Thank you for this. I have to think about what my own sign would say. I generally describe my brain as being broken but I don’t usually think about WHY. It just is. And yet I still think I’m a funny and caring and loving person so fuck it– who cares if my brain is broken? Life is still wondeful and awesome and not to be missed.

  32. I missed this so I will add my own.

    I’m broken because my body doesn’t do what I want it to. I have been suffering from chronic pain from spine issues for over five years now. I’m often angry at myself and my body for the pain, complications, depression, and inability to work.

    I’m furiously happy because I’m having a baby girl in December and despite my body being a worn down mess, it has made life 🙂

  33. I’m broken because I suffer from depression and anxiety and have an assortment of physical ailments that have stolen a large part of who I was.

    I am furiously happy because I have learned to breathe, am in a healthier work environment and am about to eat coffee ice cream (my one addiction).

  34. I am NOT crying. I am not CRYING. Oh, who am I kidding?! Totally crying in the office, but it’s early, and there’s hardly anyone here, and who cares?! Such amazing people. Thank you for sharing, and I want to give each and everyone one of you a hug (if that’s okay; otherwise, a pat on the shoulder, or whatever comforts you). You ARE amazing people. And you count. And you are making a difference 🙂 Furiously happy to have found Jenny, and you wonderful people.

  35. Definitely just teared up in the middle of my office. This is so so wonderful. Thank you for making the tribe apparent when sometimes I forget it’s there.

  36. I tweeted this, but putting it here too:

    I’m broken b/c of RSD (severe chronic pain disability) that’s left me basically 1 handed. Anxiety and depression came along for the ride as well.

    I’m #FuriouslyHappy b/c of my husband and children. They give me reasons to keep going. And for this writing gig, that makes me think that I might not completely suck. And for you. Yeah, you, Jenny. You’ve battled the same stuff I am. Chronic pain, depression, anxiety, but you’ve DONE IT. You’ve made writing happen. You’ve gotten traditionally published, and rock this blog gig. You’ve made a successful career out of it, even with all those obstacles.

    It gives me hope that I can, too.

    So thank you, Jenny. Truly.

  37. So many tears. Furiously happy tears. I feel the same way tears. Me too tears. I’m so sorry you had to go through that tears. Damn, I wish I had a donut tears. All the tears.

  38. OH GOD. The anxiety of waiting to see if my mug would show up, and then there it was. I can’t even!

    At least I’m with GREAT company. All of you rock!

  39. Crying through the first part and then smiling so much that my cheeks hurt. Thank you for sharing this.

  40. My baby died and his daddy left but I have friends who are incredible and a son who thinks I hung the moon.

  41. Thank you. All sorts of cathartic tears going on; which I have needed all week. Ordered the book this morning instead of the pillows I was meant to buy because, as I pointed out to my boyfriend, sometimes I need a book with a manic raccoon on the front much more than a new pillow. And a new book and an amazing man who helps hold me up when all I want to do is curl up and hide is what makes me furiously happy.

  42. I am broken because:

    I am afraid at some time nearly every day. Afraid I’m going to do something wrong. Fuck something up. Make a mistake. And that fear-based procrastination keeps me from doing and being all that I could.

    I am furiously happy because:

    Sometimes when I press through and let go, I can make beautiful things. I can do beautiful things.

  43. All of the sudden the screen got blurry. Thank you for that, Jenny.

    My sign would have a lot on the Broken side. So would my husband’s. Lots of writing. The Happy side would have him and you and this tribe and all of the friend and animals who’ve kept me here all these years when it felt like all was lost.

    Jenny, I’ll see you at the signing in Cambridge, MA. I missed out on tickets to the reading, but I’ll be there for the signing no matter how long the line is, because this matters. You matter, I matter, we all matter, and Depression Lies.
    ~Kelly

  44. Trying not to cry because I really have to try hard to appear sane at work and all. I adore you. In so many ways. You are a beautiful soul and as odd as me and I LOVE IT. You make me feel less alone. You are amazing. You influenced me googling “star was taxidermy” to discover that yes, they DO make taxidermy jedi squirrels complete with lightsabers.

    I am broken because I feel everything is my fault. I feel like a failure. I feel like I am drowning in my life.

    But at this very moment I am smiling because you you and this epic blog. Your blog is a safe place. May you have all your happiness and may your find the next epic taxidermy masterpiece to keep you and Victor entertained.

  45. Wow. I am crying. You are all so, so brave to share your stories, your struggles, your triumphs.

    I am broken because my daughter is/was broken. I didn’t know how to help her, to talk to her, to prove to her she is worth it, it’s all worth it. I still really don’t know how to help her. But…

    I am furiously happy because she is better. She still struggles, but she no longer self-harms, and she gets a little better each day. She still doesn’t really talk to me, but I see progress, and that is a blessing.

    I hope every one of you has more furiously happy days than broken ones. You are loved!
    #furiouslyhappy

  46. annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd this just made me happy cry. wonderfully powerful and moving. we are ALL broken. and we are all fabulous.

  47. I’m Broken Because:

    Every person I’ve ever opened up to has betrayed and hurt me…

    I’m FURIOUSLY HAPPY Because:

    I know now none of it was because of me…

    THANK YOU so much for helping to show me that people can be worth it.

    I love you, Jenny!

  48. I love this.. I was going to enter mine for the video… I got added to the email and everything… and then I decided I was too broken… I cried while watching it… your daughter is stunningly bright and beautiful…

    I convinced my cute husband that he would not know what was happening in book 2 unless he read book 1… bahahaha… Hearing him laugh outloud while he reads makes me furiously happy.
    and it gave him insights into me like nothing else… I love that.
    Thanks Jenny

  49. It is difficult for me to talk about being broken. It is difficult to BE broken. But I am so FURIOUSLY happy that I stumbled upon a blog post in which a giant metal chicken is saying KNOCK KNOCK MOTHERFUCKER and learned that there are lots of people who are broken and magnificent at the same time and it has made all the difference.

    I’m furiously happy that you are bringing your book tour to Boston.

    p.s. And if it’s possible, I would love to gift a copy of FURIOUSLY HAPPY to Kelly in Canada because I know how it is to be tight on money and right now I have a little extra and it would be awesome to spread a little furious happiness around.

  50. My office clearly got really dusty all of a sudden, because there are tears streaming down my face. But some of them are happy tears. What a wonderful video. Such a great way to launch your book.

    I’m broken because my social anxiety frequently keeps me from going out and spending time with my friends. I’m furiously happy because my friends love me anyway and make an effort to either coax me out occasionally, or come visit me at home so we still keep in touch.

  51. Thank you. Crying at work. I was feeling especially broken today because I saw pictures on Facebook of my dad visiting my sister when he hasn’t spoken to me in two years. I am happy because I have been making myself go out and make new friends.

  52. Awesome video. I considered entering a vid but it was right around the time my mom died, so I never got around to it. I applaud all of those who participated. It’s heartwarming and touching. I love the one who referred to herself as 2.0. I’ve been experiencing a bit of that the last couple of months. Thank you, Jenny, for being such an amazing ambassador to all of us. Hugs!!!!

  53. This was really wonderful. Really, really wonderful. Thank you to all the people who shared their stories and the ones who were not quite ready. And you. And all of you.

  54. I’m sobbing. Because I saw myself in so many of the Broken.
    I’m sobbing. Because on the flip side, there is hope to be “Furiously Happy”
    I’m sobbing. Because I lost my hope so long ago. Thank you for showing my a glimmer of hope.

  55. No words, other than this is wonderful.
    You all are wonderful, and I love you even though I don’t know you.

  56. I love you. I love this Tribe I claim as mine.
    I have one of the very first passes printed for your book signing in Dallas. I will be there to support you even if it’s just to keep people out of the bathroom while you hyperventilate like I did last time. Thank you, as always, for sharing yourself with us and bringing all of us together. It feels so incredibly wonderful to finally find a real home with a family that loves each other unconditionally.

  57. This is really beautiful. Thank you for making this, and thanks to those people who shared a bit of themselves in this. Was that Hailey in the video, too? When it got to that part all the feels exploded inside of me.

    (It was. I was surprised she wanted to be in the video, honestly. It’s amazing how even children feel broken at times. Granted, her brokens are mainly about not being able to memorize her times tables or having to use an inhaler in the middle of a race but they’re still important. A lot of my friends and idols are in this video but she’s my favorite part. ~ Jenny)

  58. Thank you.

    Thank you for helping me see that this debilitating anxiety isn’t the end.
    Thank you for showing me that I’m not alone in my daily battle with constant pain, the pain in my joints that feels like someone is breaking them.
    Thank you for helping me realize that depression isn’t a death sentence (and that I can come back from it.)

    Thank you, most of all, for allowing me to see things from the outside. We are most definitely all broken, but if we put our pieces together we form this amazing group of people who can overcome anything.

    Thank you, Ms Jenny. For everything.

    #furiouslyhappy

  59. I made the mistake of watching that video while at my desk at work. I’m sitting here, trying not to sob.

    My anxiety/depression/the brain weasels have really fucked me up this week and I really want to see the end of it, and I know it’ll get better, but right now, my brain is lying to me and telling me that it’s not going to.

    Thank you, Jenny.

  60. All the sobs. This was heart-breaking and heart-mending all at the same time.

    I had to get my cat put to sleep at noon today. Then I came back to work, read this, and was reminded that life is beautiful. That even though I’m really really sad, which is why I’m broken today, I’m furiously happy because I had sixteen years with sweet Wendy and I had the privilege to be with her when she passed.

  61. Also? Deep breath…
    I’m broken because on April 14, 2011, my husband’s suicide attempt shattered me.

    I’m furiously happy because on May 25, 2015, we celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary…he survived. I survived. We survived.

  62. I’m broken because of childhood trauma.
    I’m furiously happy because I have loving, lovely people in my life. And because Jenny is in this world.

  63. For some reason my glasses stopped working when I watched that. My eyes are all blurry for some reason.

    I’m broken because someone I loved told me for many years that I was stupid and uninteresting. I’m furiously happy because I subsequently got 2 doctorate degrees and have published more than 50 articles (so far) and proved him wrong. 🙂

  64. Nodding along “yes, me too” to so many of these.
    As soon as the first person flipped their sign over, I started crying out of happiness. That’s something new for me in the past few years – tears have always been out of anger and sadness before that.
    Thank you, Jenny and everyone here.

  65. It made my day/week/month to get an email back detailing how I could participate. The Blogess acknowledged my existence and somehow that meant everything – still does. I’m not in the video, but, it moves me to tears to see the extraordinary tribe we are a part of. Kudos to all of you for your strength and courage, I can’t wait for the book release!

  66. Awesome. So brave. I wanted to hug everybody. You all made me so furiously happy. Free Hugs, people! You are survivors!!

  67. Damn you, Bloggess, now I am crying at work. And thank you, because earlier this week I was crying at work because the pressure of a full-time job, full-time grad school, and full-time parenting of a 1 year old was WAY too much. Because of reading your blog and this community, and a wonderful husband who can give me a reality check, I am learning to be easier on myself. I decided to take a slower route for my grad program, and for once in my life am not beating myself up for not being perfect (at least about the grad school thing. still beating self up for not being perfect wife and mother!).

  68. I’m a little sad that my footage didn’t make it in, but I am also happy because that means that you had so many people respond that you were able to pick and choose.

    You are all awesome.
    (And my sign read “I’m furiously happy because I have lots of friend who live in my computer”)

  69. I’m broken because my neuro condition keeps me inside
    I’m furiously happy because I have people in my life who don’t care that I can’t see them in person
    And because of racoons
    And penguins
    And owls
    And people like you who make everyone feel less alone than they had done before
    Thank you so much

  70. I’m broken because my brain tells me that my kids would be better off without me.
    I’m furiously happy because my kids tell me I’m the best mom and they love me.

  71. To marydpierce:

    OMGOMGOMG. Did you just… I can’t even… I’m bawling again. You don’t even know me and you want to /gift/ me the book? Oh, honey, you don’t have to do that. Really! But your willingness to do so has touched me so greatly. Thank you for thinking this way and for being amazing.

    And thank you ALL. I don’t get to come around here often, but I lurk when I can… and I hope I can be part of this tribe even if only on the sidelines. <3

    Okay, now I’m going to try to be really brave like the rest of you…

    I’m broken because of my past and the PSTD and the anxiety disorder it finally left me with, along with an eating disorder and a myriad of other messed up things inside my head.
    I’m furiously happy because although some of this still plagues me, the folks who matter, the ones I surround myself with, accept me for who I am, with my faults as much as my strengths, and because I was brave enough to seek help to try to heal as best I could and become ME, not who everyone else wanted me to be.

  72. Thank you so much for doing what you do. You touch so many lives every time you share something like this. You encourage so many people, and you help to remind us that we’re not alone. You inspire us to share our stories, and I can’t even begin to say how badly I needed this today. Thank you for being such a bright light in the darkness.

  73. I love this so hard I can’t even. You’re amazing, and I love that you battle your hardships every day to be a voice for yourself and for others who don’t even realize you’re speaking for.

  74. I’m in public right now, so holding off watching the video so I don’t wind up flooding the place with the tears I know will come. But simply reading the transcript, I love you all.

  75. my mom died. My best friend ended our relationship. I lost my job, that I was GOOD at. All in three months. I will not be broken. I WILL NOT BE BROKEN. And neither will you. Thank you for inspiring us all.

  76. weeping The permanently bald cancer survivor did me in. I too am a permanently bald cancer survivor. Thank you for sharing your truth, it made me feel less alone.

  77. I was sitting here killing time on the internet (wha…???) and munching on trail mix and thought I’d watch this and sort of half pay attention. Without even realizing what was happening I burst into deep sobs when it ended. It grabbed me and gave me a hug. Thank you so much for this.

  78. The video was amazing. Thank you for this! I am eagerly awaiting your new book… today has been a truly awful pain day, and this was inspiring.

  79. Reading your first book, I laughed hysterically on the commuter train. And at work. And in my doctor’s office. I have a feeling I’m going to need to read this one at home. So many feels.

  80. I am crying. I hope I’m always part of the reasons on the Furiously Happy Sign and not the other side. I try to help. Thank you.

  81. Not sure if I’m crying for these people or for myself. All the people who think they are worthless, not beautiful, unworthy of love…. When they are each so beautiful, and clearly so kind and giving and full of love, characteristics that are beautiful beyond words. Internet hugs to all, and “thank you” to Jenny for giving us a way to come together.

  82. Beautiful … will definitely buy the book! Is that Felicia Day in the trailer? Sure looks like her

    (It is. And Scalzi and Pat Rothfuss and Christopher Moore and so many other amazing people. ~ Jenny)

  83. And now I’m crying….. But it’s a good cry. Thank you for what there are no words for. I’m so glad I have you in my life, you help so much.

  84. I had to stop and back up the video so many times because I couldn’t read what the signs said through my tears. I have struggled the past several months because I feel like I’m in a bad place but my pride has kept me from making an appointment to talk to someone…I’m making that appointment now. So thank you.

  85. Beautiful and full of beautiful souls…
    I’m broken because the depression and anxiety tell me I suck and the Alopecia stole the things I liked most about myself, and at 48 I look nothing like I thought I would/wanted to between the baldness, no eyebrows/eyelashes and the prophylactic double mastectomy that I had to chose to do. I hate looking in the mirror and dread the dreams where I have hair. I’m #furiouslyhappy because my family, friends and babies all love me so much I can’t possibly hate myself, and because nothing can steal my sense of humor which sometimes is the only thing that gets me through another day.

  86. This is fantastic! Tears of joy being shed for the bravery shown by those in the video and everyone in general. We all have broken pieces and furiously happy pieces in our life puzzles. May our puzzles become more furiously happy every day!

  87. Wow! I wish I could hug every one of those people. But I can’t because that is how I’m broken–it is very uncomfortable for me to touch or be touched by people. I don’t connect well. I don’t understand well. I get anxiety just walking out my door because, you know, there are people out there, and some of them might even try and talk to me. So I avoid people, sometimes going to great lengths to even seeing them on the sidewalks (I will walk the long way through a forest than the short way through the suburbs).

    But, I’m furiously happy because the internet has let me know there are people who understand. I’m no longer the strange person in a small town….there’s a whole world of people like me and different than me at the same time, and that is glorious, wonderful, and freeing, and allows me to accept more easily who and what I am. And it only took 5 decades too! :-))

    As well, I’ve found because I now know there are others who are “broken” I find myself looking at people with curiosity and more acceptance because that person, who makes me anxious, might be another broken person, the type of brave embattled person I want to hug and reassure, and maybe they could reassure me too. Turns out I avoided people because I thought they had it all together (that and the fact too many made my life so hellish I had to go on medication), but many don’t, and my brokeness sings to their brokeness, and I don’t feel so broke any more…and that, too, makes me furiously happy.

  88. That is the most amazing thing I have ever seen. Congratulations to all who participated, felt, cried, smiled and kept on keeping on. No one is alone and everyone is worth it.

  89. Well, shoot. I thought I could avoid all of these onion ninjas by not watching the video and just reading the comments, somehow forgetting how readily I react just to comments. So. Ahem. Guess I’ll watch the video, too. But pre-emptively thank you for doing this. I suspect I’ll find it as awesome as everyone else has.

    three minutes later

    GAH. Yep. Even worse now. I mean. In a good way. Thank you, everyone who shared. This was awesome.

    I’m broken because my brain is inefficiently wired, I was mistreated as a child, and I feel like I didn’t make the most of my youth.
    I’m furiously happy because people love my miswired brain anyway, those people from my childhood are no longer in my life, and I still have plenty of potential in me. =)

  90. Beautiful video full of beautiful, brave people :’) Can’t wait for your book Jenny. My anxiety, depression, traumatic childhood, joint disorder, migraines, weight issues and years of self harm have left me broken and scarred but so much makes me furiously happy and you’re a part of it. I discovered your blog about 18 months ago when in the midst of handling a downward spiral of depression and self-loathing – I gradually read back through your posts and they gave me so much more strength than I would otherwise have had. You inspire me; how you can face so much in your life and yet manage to rally an online community, how you never let the darkness win, how you can make me laugh until my sides ache when my eyes are still red from crying….. I would so love to meet you one day and hide with you in the bathroom at parties, England is just a bit to far though! Thank you, though. You make me feel I’m not alone 🙂

  91. I been sitting here, struggling with whether or not to share this on Facebook and Twitter for the past half hour because, while I’m ENORMOUSLY happy to be in a video alongside so many AMAZING people, I’m also terrified of anyone I know actually seeing it. Because anxiety.

    But you wanna know the funny thing about all you amazing people? You make me brave.

    SHARED!

  92. What is it about me that prevents my brain from seeing obvious typos BEFORE I hit the Post button? Great. Now I look like I don’t know how to conjugate verbs. MORE ANXIETY! 🙂

  93. oh crap now Im leaky. =) and I dont mind at all. Jenny, this is brave, and awesome.
    I was broken because I was raised by a sociopathic daddy and a narcissitic PD mother and thought it was my fault.

    Im furiously happy because somewhere in there I realized it wasnt. Im not broken anymore. Thank you, darlin’. you and all your furiously awesome people.

  94. Your sweet daughter made me cry TWICE. When she popped up broken, it broke me. When she came back with the same sign, it was perfectly perfect.

    I am broken because my brain broke in college and I’ve been on antidepressants to stay alive for 15 years since.
    I am furiously happy because I survived and now I understand.

  95. broke down crying and immediately shared with my FB friends:
    I’m broken because of two recent deaths in my immedate family, and I’m furiously happy because of the pure love my friends/family have shown me despite my moody brokenness.

  96. I’m broken because of cancer and kidney failure and nerve degeneration that means I can’t walk very well – amongst a long list of other problems. I’m also unable to get a job even though I am very qualified – because everyone sees me as a health liability. . I am furiously happy because I seldom have pain, have a healthy appetite, get a disability pension and now have time to write – something I have always wanted to do but never had the time.

  97. I saw someone in the video with my broken! It really hits home when you see someone else holding a sign with your words! <3 Thank you Jenny.

  98. Jenny, I’m just a teensy bit weepy – to say the least – after that incredible video. Thank you. And thank you to all the participants. You’ve all made me weepy AND furiously happy at the same time!

  99. Love and huge hugs to everyone in the video and everyone that couldn’t do the video and everyone that’s still out there thinking about why they are broken and what makes them furiously happy. <3 <3 <3 You are all beautiful souls!!! ~Patricia

  100. I’m broken in many (many) ways. I can’t say I’m furiously happy, that’s a ways off yet, but I’m working on it, and I am glad to know that there’s people out there like me.

  101. I’m in a place where I’m only seeing my broken at the moment, but this video reminds me that the furiously happy times will come back. And yes, I had to shut my office door just now because I started crying at this video.

  102. You may all be broken, but you all just made me so happy. and made me cry at work. but… it’s not the first time, because I’m broken too.

  103. I’m broken because my brain tells me my problems are humongous to me but too small for my friends to care.
    I’m furiously happy because my friends care anyway.

  104. To libraryzombie: Yes, I’d love to gift you Furiously Happy. Strangers have been kind to me, and I’d like to share the good karma. If you are on Facebook PM me: Mary Pierce. I’m in Rhode Island. I will be going to Jenny’s book signing in Boston Oct. 17th. I can pick up an extra book there AND have it sign it to you, after which, I can mail it to you.

    The world kinda sucks right now. It would make me happy to decrease some of that suck in some small way.

    If you don’t do Facebook, my email is myownwerk at yahoo dot com.

  105. Oh, Jenny, that was a perfect video!! Made me cry and smile at the same time. Thank you, everyone who was in the video, it was beautiful. And to everyone reading, keep going. ♥

  106. This is hard to watch right now. I need to say this outloud. Right now I feel even more broken because I just miscarried (learned last Wednesday there was no heartbeat, miscarried yesterday). And I am struggling to hold on to the hope for next time. I am trying to find the happy. I am happy because my husband held me through it all. My girl friends have called and texted and surrounded me with love. And I had a valid reason to have eaten that half a jar of Nutella with a spoon and a spatula.

  107. That spoke to me so deeply. Also Haley punched me in the guts and then made me feel happier than before she punched me. What a sweetie!

    I am broken because depression and anxiety have put me in the hospital (once- now now).
    I am furiously happy because of Star Wars and Doctor Who and Comic Con and friends and THERAPY.

  108. @ marydpierce – I can’t find you on Facebook, so I will send you an email. I will put Furiously Happy in the subject line so you know it’s me. You’re incredible. I can’t believe I’m doing this. I am just so incredibly humbled today… and crying again, at work. Wow. You will hear from me soon. Thank you. Thank you.

    @ Amy – Oh no… no no… I’m so terribly sorry to hear about your loss. I don’t even know what to say other than I am sending love your way today.

    @ everyone else – You are all, each one of you, beautiful. <3

  109. I’ve seen this thing three times, because apparently I enjoy torture, and I’m still crying. This is amazing.<3
    I was one of those people that when you asked us to do this, I couldn’t because anxiety. The thought of being “out there” like that. I just couldn’t. The people that did this are all incredible. <3
    Now after reading this entry, I might (might!) be brave enough to tweet or instagram my broken and furiously happy, and tag #furiousyhappy. If nothing else, so you can see it Jenny. Because I swear to whatever deity you want, that you are amazing. With all your mental illnesses, the depression, the anxiety, all of it, you are still making a huge difference! You matter. You matter in the life of your husband and child, your friends and family. And you matter to me. Your words, your books, your outlook both in the light and in the dark times, all help me. “I’m Broken Because…. I don’t think I matter all that much.” But I hope to someday. I hope to be like you. With all my mental health issues, and still matter and make a difference. Yeah. That would be nice.
    You’re my hero. <3

  110. Thank you to everyone who shared. True beauty and courage. Thank you for welcoming us home! Jenny for queen and Hailey as princess!

  111. This video is such a gift and so is Jenny and so are all of you.

    I am broken because I’ve been living with generalized anxiety my whole life without knowing what was wrong with me and trying to hide it so people wouldn’t think I was crazy, because I didn’t know what it was until I finally took myself to therapy this past year. Because there’s this part of my brain that I can’t shut off that makes me imagine outlandish and horrible things that could happen to me or the ones I love and sometimes it’s all I can do to not rush home from work in the middle of the day to make sure my cats aren’t sick or my apartment isn’t on fire. Because my chronic depression tells me awful lies about myself, like that I don’t matter to anyone, no one needs me, if I vanished tomorrow, a few people in my life would feel inconvenienced and the rest would just shrug and go on with their day. Because my anxiety keeps me awake at night and my depression makes it hard to get out of bed in the morning.

    I am furiously happy because I am living with all of this–I have a good job and friends who cared enough about me to ask me “how can I help?” when I told them what I was struggling with and a houseful of lovable pets who give me a reason to get up in the morning. And because now I know I’m not alone in this fight.

    (P.S.: I noticed from reading comments on other posts that I’m not the only “Stefanie” so I decided to tack on my middle name to tell us apart.)

  112. I came across something else wonderful this last month: Kintsukuroi – the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold. The idea behind it is that the piece is now more beautiful for being broken and more valuable because it has more history.

  113. Thank you for everything you do, Jennifer! You have connected us and because of YOU: we are NOT alone… <3

  114. This is beautiful. So many of these broken reasons are mine too, and so many of the furiously happy reasons are too. Thank you for considering me as a participant for this project, and thank you for making this into such a wonderful thing. This video makes me #furiouslyhappy

  115. I am furiously happy because a video of other people like me made cry, and realize I am not actually alone.

  116. @ educationalmentorship – Oh my goodness, the kindness and love in here is overwhelming! Thank you SO much for the offer. @ marydpierce beat you to it, however. But thank you SO SO SO very much. Goodness. You are all so wonderful.

    And RAR! Furiously happy Canadian girls UNITE! 😀

  117. @ libraryzombie thank you. You are amazing with all of your comments to others. You have so much love in you.

  118. I’m broken because every day, since the first day of school (when I was 5!), at least 1 person (Usually another kid) told me I was broken.

    I’m furiously happy because THEY WERE ALL FULL OF S#!%!

  119. Beautiful. In our home we call furiously happy moments, “exquisite everyday moments” that we mentally file away to help us get through the rough times…

  120. Watched this at work (sans sound) and cried my eyes out. Walked around the rest of the day with a smile on my heart though, the bravery shown by these people makes me #furiouslyhappy

    Watched it again now that I’m home, and the tears are back. So powerful. So beautiful. Thank you.

  121. You darling woman, you.
    I’m broken because my eyes keep leaking.
    I’m furiously happy because they’re happy tears.
    Such a lovely video and I admire the strength and courage of both the people on it, and those that struggle but fight on anyway each day xo

  122. @amy Oh my goodness… thank you. Sometimes, I wonder if I still have love in me because of all that I’ve been through, but then I surprise myself and the world surprises me by restoring my faith in humanity and making me want to reach out again. Thank you for your own kind words. Be well and take care of yourself. hugs

  123. And I am crying and laughing, and crying and laughing. So much love for you, Jenny, and for all of us in our tribe! Furiously Happy People Unite!

  124. Jenny…I am really at a loss for words. This is one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever witnessed. Truly, I believe you are a superhero sent here to save so, so, so many people. Thank you.

  125. That made me smile! I’m broken because of my past and I’m furiously happy because of my now.

  126. I’m broken because I have a room in my brain where I still hear the taunts, the calls of useless and worthless, and the poisonous voice of Suicide Depression Anxiety and Phobia. I’m furiously happy because I have people in my life who remind me that the door locks and can be soundproofed.

  127. I don’t remember the exact date, but I know that I broke in August of 1998. Unfortunately, I am still waiting to experience the furiously happy part. I have stayed not for myself, but to spare others the pain and agony. To me that is the saddest part, that I still allow others feelings and needs to always come before mine.

    (That’s not sad. That’s empathy and compassion and it’s what makes the best of us human. I am furiously happy that you are here. I’m sending you love and light. ~ Jenny.)

  128. I know I can always come here to help me feel furiously happy. An old friend lost his battle with the darkness last week and took his own life. Looking for all the happiness I can find right now.

  129. What if i am brave and say my own broken/happy…here among the tribe of bloggess is safe. But what if my daily life circles see….what if they mirror they use to show the words back at me is NOT validation/love, but is just the reflection of the shinny knives that frenemy and enemy will going to use to hurt me.

    Thank you for loving the words said and those not ready to be said.
    And thank you braver people for sharing your broken and happy sides. I feel so comforted.

  130. I came to you for the laughs about 8 years ago, and then you went and got profound and wise on me. And yet you still make me laugh. That’s talent. Thank you to the courageous people who shared themselves.

  131. Every day I struggle to be happy / worthy. I’m not sure if I’m either of those most of the time but I keep trying to be. Not for other people but for myself.

  132. I’ve been broken for a very long time. I’m not furiously happy yet but coming here, reading all these comments helps. Your followers along with yourself always make me feel better for a little while. I know I’m not alone and yet still feel so very alone. I recently was told I AM eligible for some benefits from my military service, so there have been some very nice and caring people at our VA. that are going to help me get furiously happy. Thank you all so very much for all the things you do and don’t even know it.

  133. I am broken because anxiety and lack of self worth control my life and more often than not I feel alone.

    I am furiously happy because although I may feel alone a lot of the time, I know I am not. I have my friends, my family, my partner, and all you wonderful people on the internet who I don’t even know.

    Jenny, thank you for posting this video. It is amazing, and incredible, and took so much courage . I am sobbing at my work desk, but they are happy tears.

    Thank you.

  134. This was beautiful. I am smiling with tears streaming down my face. I feel … not alone. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. All of you.

  135. Thank you, thank you, thank you! For perfectly acknowledging that we can be broken and furiously happy at the same time. I love this. And I am so grateful for you and all the broken and furiously happy people. Bless.

  136. i am broken because i can’t stop being depressed … i am furiously happy that there are people out there who believe in me and love me anyways 🙂

    Thanks to all y’all who are part of my DEPRESSION LIES tribe (and especially to the friend who bought me that necklace two years ago, to remind me that where I was wasn’t the only place I had to be) – and to the brave, wonderful, beautiful people in that amazing, powerful video. I can’t stop watching it.

  137. “The only difference between a happy ending and a sad one is where you stop the story.” Gasp! What a wonderful line! Who do I credit that to, Jenny? I would like to share it.

    (Perfect timing. Look two comments below this one. ~ Jenny)

  138. I just posted the scariest thing I’ve ever written, which is about me being in the video. I’m not sure many people could possibly understand how terrifying it is to put your deepest insecurity out into the world, but I know you guys will. Because you’re in the Club!

    And you’re all amazing: everyone who participated, everyone who couldn’t, and everyone who has left any one of the wonderful comments on this post. I wish I could express how moving and inspiring they all are, but I’m out of words right now. And I’m not sure if the ones I’d need have even been invented yet.

    Here’s the post, if you feel like checking it out: http://www.coqdiddles.com/2015/09/17/i-am-broken/

    I promise this will be the last time I’ll ramble on about it. I’m just excited and nervous, and yeah. You know the feeling.

    Thanks again, Jenny. From all of us. For everything.

  139. Bawling! So beautiful.

    I saw a number of things on there (reasons you’re broken) that are also me. Every one of those made me feel less alone and made my heart ache for you. Thank you for being brave.
    Thank you for also showing that you can be both broken and happy. The hardest thing for me to learn was that I could be depressed and happy at the same time, and neither cancels or invalidates the other (and the happiness doesn’t make me less worthy of help for my depression).

    Special love for the girl who talked about version 2.0 of herself. I think that way too (both in terms of being new versions…I’m on 3.0 right now…and in terms of realising what I became through much of what broke me–those same things she has become) and seeing that made the video feel even more personal.

    I cried with sorrow for everyone’s broken bits, but cried just as hard with the joy at the reasons you’re all happy. Thank you thank you thank you!

  140. I’m NOT crying. There’s just stuff in my eyes.

    My god, how very beautiful. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

  141. Brave and simple and powerful. This proves the truth, that the sum of all of your broken parts is far greater than the whole. Thank you all for sharing and leading the way.

  142. There aren’t words to describe this! It is amazing, moving, wonderful, triggery, thought provoking, scary, lovely, brave, etc. etc, etc!!!

    I cried, and then cried more reading the replies.

    I am broken because my children seem to despise me. I am furiously happy because I know I have people who do love me,

    I am not alone!

  143. Crying. All of the yes, to the brave and the broken and all the stories we can’t see. Thank you for sharing. Love you all.

  144. Jenny, to you… and to this tribe? To every freakin’ member of this beautiful, broken, furiously happy tribe? I want to say all the things, give all the hugs, and shine all the bright beauty that there is in the universe, to shine brighter than I ever imagined, so I can come close to reflecting the brightness that is the shine of furious happiness. And I don’t even care if this makes sense or is the corniest thing EVER, because it’s still true.

  145. So much love for you and this and all the peoples! Well, love and an hour of happy tears.

    deep breath so here goes…

    I’m broken because a childhood of abandonment, isolation, mental/physical/emotional abuse, conditional love and bargained support programmed me to be a silent obedient victim and the scummy bits of the world pick up on that pretty with alacrity, rape and other dehumanizing activities they enjoy.
    Also I am major depressive with moderate to severe anxiety issues, depending on the day.

    I’m furiously happy because fuck them.
    I was eventually ground to dust and had to rebuild from scratch so now I am made largely of superglue, whimsy and random pointy bits. I do what I want, answer to no one and created a new family of beautiful broken/furiously happy people; we save our own and each other’s lives daily in big and small ways.

    PS: I did want to mention https://massmosaic.com/ as a way to connect the beautiful sharey people with longing would-be readers.

  146. Thank you for this video.
    I am broken because of my anxiety and sadness that my life didn’t turn out the way I thought (no children)
    I am furiously happy because of my family and friends making me feel loved and needed.

  147. Sweet fancy moses – I’m snot-running-down-my-face blubbering. We’re all so much more alike than we are different. Thank you!

  148. Love, love, love! Thanks for the feels….hugs to all! Broken because misconceptions,
    roadblocks, and people being in charge that have never been in a classroom make teaching almost unbearable…….furiously happy because sometimes we do make a dfference makes it worth it

  149. I just had my performance review at work today (9 months late, but that’s another story), and while it went mostly as expected, it left me feeling demoralized and singled out for being a bit different. Then I come home, read this, and feel ten times better. Thank you, thank you so much.

  150. After a year of feeling so broken that I could hardly function, it’s so good to be reminded that being furiously happy is what comes next. I don’t know anyone here personally, but I love everyone here so much. You remind me that I belong somewhere.

  151. The most amazing thing about the internet is it makes all of us, no matter what our story, feel less alone.

    And there is a special place — as far away from the heller have of us finds ourselves in, for leaders like Jenny who can get us the fuck out of the darkness. With laughter,. Duh!

  152. My little boy saw tears streaming down my face, so I had to explain that the tears were because I watched the video and my brain couldn’t hold all the beautiful in, so some was leaking out of my eyes. Thank you, Jenny. And thanks to those folks who shared.

  153. I’m broken because my son is in a treatment center tonight after relapsing into drug addiction and suicide attempts. He sent me a letter today telling me how alone he always feels. How he hates himself. I need him to see this video. I need him to believe that I am furiously happy he is still alive.

  154. Spectacular and powerful. This gave me chills, and made me cry, and made me smile. Thank you to everyone who made this happen.

  155. I’m broken because my brain tells me lies. I’m broken because of the negative experiences I’ve had in my life. I’m FURIOUSLY HAPPY because I fight every day to put the negativity behind me and live life the way I want to. Most of that is thanks to you crazy people. I’m so glad I found you.

  156. This is so wonderful. I’m broken because I’ve been hospitalized five times in the last seven years due to four different, unrelated ailments. I’ve been cut open and pasted back together so many times, I’m starting to look like a collage. You might say that bad luck and I are more than just passing acquaintances. But I’m furiously happy because now, when any little thing goes right, it feels like I am completely, utterly winning at life.

  157. I have lost track of the number of ways that I am broken, but you have had a profound effect in helping me see how I am not alone in that, and it means so very much. Thank you. Seriously, from the bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul…THANK YOU.
    I am furiously happy that your book will be out soon but I’m already worrying about when I have finished reading it and then want another (and it’s not right to start asking for another one for at least a few months, right? lol.) Thank God for your blog or I would be lost!
    Your last book had me waking my husband up with hysterical laughter as I read it in bed and I’m really looking forward to doing that again. I have bought copies of it and sent it to several friends, who all love it as well. I also look forward to doing the same with this one (currently, I have a hard copy ordered, along with a bookplate that I shall cherish forever, plus a kindle version for the much needed instant gratification).
    It is so easy to get bogged down in what life throws at us and I need you (and the wonderful people that have commented above) to remind me that we are strong enough to stand back up, wipe ourselves off, and find something to laugh about. You are my people and I love you all.

  158. As I sit here in the dark hospital room with my daughter, who is experiencing the worst pain anyone could ever imagine, feeling helpless and a failure for my inability to do anything, I again found the light I needed on your site to get through another day. Thank you.

  159. I typically don’t participate in very many social media things since my social anxiety tells me that everyone else is more witty and interesting than I am… but this video moved me enough to cry and to comment. Thank you for showing that we can all find the light and the hope…. and… um… be furiously happy?

  160. I’m broken because lifelong depression and now postpartum depression, worse than I thought it would be.
    I’m furiously happy because I’m holding my 6 week old son right now, because I had the guts to get pregnant and have this kid even though I was scared of how I would adapt postpartum. He is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. And for a brief moment, he is not screaming 🙂 I’m also furiously happy because I have people rooting for me, and I know I’m not alone. There are so many people out there just like me!

  161. Thank you Jenny. I’ve fucked up so very badly. My mistakes feel like the darkest shadows of the biggest mountains. And the dark seems endless. Today, watching this video made reminded there might be still some light out there if I just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

  162. And now the comments made me cry happy again

    I am broken because when I had my deepest dark, they didn’t think I was worth saving and left me alone until I broke into a thousand pieces.

    I am Furiously Happy because I had a son. He makes me put a few pieces back together everyday and have hope that some day I will be some semblance of whole.

    Thank you for being one of the reasons I still wake up because depression lies and I am not alone

    And now I am crying sad so I am gonna watch something funny because when I cry before bed I wake up with an incredible headache.

    Seriously
    Thankyou

  163. If this isn’t just one hell of a thing. I’ve been following your writing and life and book(s) for years now and I’ve never just been a heap of joyful tears like this. Thanks or darn it or hand me a tissue or whatever, but I love your people so much. Love them so much. ~Andi

  164. The reasons I am broken are time-worn and not worth giving further life to with rehashing, but the proof that I am broken is that when I’m told I am liked, my first thought is always “why?”

    I am furiously happy because when my husband and children tell me they love me, I know with my whole being that it is true. Somehow, I’ve managed to fix just enough of what was broken to embrace what matters most. And knowing I’m not alone has gone a long way towards letting the rest be ok.

    Thank you Jenny for all the good you’ve brought, the big and the small, the funny and the weepy, the real and the hilariously imagined. An overdue thank you from a longtime reader who has never posted- and now realizes that I need to pay it forward by helping people feel even more not alone 🎭

  165. I’m broken because I don’t feel like I belong or fit in anywhere
    I’m furiously happy because I’m not the only one that feels this way and somewhere out there is a place for me

    Love this video so much

  166. Today before I saw this I had been contemplating the utter hilarity of the fact that you found the absolutely perfect way to make a living and contribute while being able to stay at home. The dream for so many who are unable for all sorts of reasons to leave the house.
    And you are so damn good at it that you became wildly successful, resulting in constant pressure from all sides to travel all over the country!!
    Having watched this video today, you brought it on yourself cackling
    Waiting impatiently for the arrival of my copy.
    From one of the folks out here who get messages every day from all sides that we are worthless, or a burden, or certainly faking it, or lazy or (in an election year) that we don’t actually exist…thanks for letting us see that we are not alone and we are worth it.

  167. Beautiful video. I got an ARC and just finished reading the book. It’s amazing. Congrats. I’m broken in so many of the same ways that you are. SO much so that my husband turned to me after he finished reading and said, “I understand now.” So thank you for that. xo

  168. Beautiful, important, POWERFUL video. Thank you for this. It’s so easy to feel that you are alone and irredeemably broken, but it isn’t so.

  169. i’m quite literally broken. 3 fractures and a dislocation of my ankle, 7 days into a 16-day visit to Japan, from Austin.
    I’ve been stuck in a local hospital, after 2 surgeries and 5 days – my first-ever hospital stay – where language and cultural differences make communication difficult and misteps easy.
    And I’m broken because my two best weapons for clinical depression – running and meds – are unavailable to me as I deal with all of this..

    I’m #FuriouslyHappy because friends, family, and the hospital nursing staff are all going above beyond offerong help I didn’t imagine I’d need; because the surgeries went great, because as i talk to the nurses and physical therapists (with much help from Google translate apps), I am seeing a side of this beautiful country and culture and making memories that surpass any I would have made sticking to our original itinerary.
    Because we were supposed to treat my niece and nephew to Tokyo DisneySea the day after my injury, and I made my Brother-in-law take them without me… And the kids decided To find the perfect gift for me while they were there… And they chose socks! (Get it? Because I have a giant cast on one foot? I love those brilliant kids!!!)

  170. Everyone in the video looks so “normal.” I am literally always afraid that I don’t look normal.

    I’m going to try, Jenny…

    I am broken: because I was never allowed to have emotions or taught that failing was okay.
    I’m furiously happy: because every panic attack ends eventually.

  171. This made me cry at 630 in the morning! Your cause is amazing, and I’m such a huge fan. Thank you for speaking for those of us who can’t. I can’t wait to get your book, and I’m sure, a box of Kleenex next to me lol. 🙂

  172. unclejeet @ 255, I’ve just added you to my list of personal heroes (alongside Jenny, of course). I feel like I fail at everything too. All the time. Even though I have the empirical proof that it’s not true–in the face of unassailable evidence that maybe I’ve done something right, I just assume it was a complete accident and surely someone will figure out very soon that I am a total impostor (really, spellcheck, that’s how you spell “impostor”? Hmm). I know how it feels to want to be able to just put your true self out there at the same time as you’re utterly terrified to do so–I bet there was a lot of sweating involved as you were putting your blog post up, am I right? I don’t know you, but I promise you don’t fail at everything. You talked about your wonderful wife and stepson in your blog–those wonderful people are there for you because they think you’re pretty wonderful too. WIN! You overcame your terror to be in Jenny’s video and then you didn’t stop there, you wrote about it. That kind of bravery is no joke. WIN! I bet you are winning all over the damn place and you don’t even know it. And I bet I am too. I don’t know you, but knowing someone like you exists in the world, someone who maybe feels things the way I do and is finding the strength to get through it, is making ME furiously happy. Maybe you’ll consider that a win, too? Thanks for being you and, you know, just being.

  173. Yup. Been reading you for several years now and this is my first reply. Awesome video- choked me up, sharing it with friends. Thank you, Jenny- for the wonderfullness of you.

  174. It made me cry a little, thank you for sharing such inspirational people’s stories with us 🙂 to remind us we are not alone! Very touching sweet project!!

  175. I’m broken because… I was in a car accident and I can’t do a lot of the things that used to feel me with joy. I had PTSD. Joy doesn’t really enter into it, for me.

    I’m furiously happy because… I have a wonderful partner and child, and friends who make me laugh and their joy fills me up. Completely. And I beat PTSD, it didn’t beat me.

  176. Wonderful video. Thank you. Here are my two:

    I’m broken because for the first 28 years of my life, I had no clue what it meant to be happy. (Damn chronic depression.) I’m furiously happy because I know now. (yay for the right meds)

    I’m broken because horrific post partum depression took so much from me and my daughter in her first year of life. I’m furiously happy because my daughter is now smart, funny, my best friend and the love of my life.

  177. I’m broken because of chronic depression and social anxiety. I’m furiously happy because I have a husband who says I’m not fixable, because I’m not broken, but perfect the way I am. I’m furiously happy because I have a daughter, and I get to re-experience life through her new eyes. I’m furiously happy because at the age of 40, I finally found my tribe.

  178. I am not crying at work. I am not crying at work……ohhhhh darn it THE FEELS. Thank you so much for this it is truly beautiful.

  179. I AM crying at work. Wow! Will share later. Jenny… think of how many people you have helped. For a minute, sit there and think about that. I’m sure there are many more you don’t know about. You are a spectacular human being. Thank you so very much for this. It is extremely brave of you to be so upfront about mental illness. I’m not as brave as you but maybe one day. To all the people in the video.. thank you. You are brave souls and beautiful in every way. (going to deal with puffy face now…)

  180. Pat Rothfuss held up my broken. If Pat feels just as crappy about himself as I do about myself, then I know it’s all lies. I have been sobbing for 15 minutes. Thank you, Pat. Thank you, Jenny. This is so insanely brave I can barely grasp it.

    I’m furiously happy for everyone around me who loves me and tells me I’m not a failure and I’m not alone. Also Hagan Daaz. I’m really furiously happy about their chocolate peanut butter ice cream too. 🙂

  181. I think my sign would be like Hailey’s – back AND front – too many reasons I’m broken, and too many reasons I’m FURIOUSLY happy.

  182. I had to read this again this morning. And yes, I’m crying at work AGAIN. But I gotta say, the beauty in the video and all of these comments gives me so much hope in the human race, even those (and maybe especially those) who are feeling so broken right now that they can’t quite find their Furiously Happy. You are all so brave and kind and amazing. It’s so easy to give in to my social anxiety but the truth is, I would stand in a crowded room with every one of you and have a giant group hug! Maybe. Well, I thought about it for a second anyway. That’s what e-hugs are for, right?

  183. I’m broken because I’m crying a bit after the video. I’m furiously happy for the same reason. Thanks everyone 🙂

  184. Projects like this give me hope. They give me hope that there are still good people out there. They give me hope that people can heal from the horrible traumas endured in childhood and beyond. They give me hope that people are more alike than we think we are.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you for this.

  185. I love this video and every person brave enough to admit that they are scared and broken. Thank you Jenny, for proving that it is okay to feel this way!

  186. My takeaway is that too many of us are interneting from work… just kidding. I, too, am crying at my desk and pretending it’s just because spreadsheets are the worst. Thank you (everyone) for sharing.

  187. I don’t even know what to say. Also, lots of tears and not enough kleenex. Thank you for putting this video together and sharing it with us!

  188. Crying at work because that was just frickin’ beautiful. I can’t wait to to read the book! THANK YOU!

  189. Well, I just sobbed a lot. Thanks, Jing Jing. I’d say that mascara got all over my face but today was not a productive day and I’m wearing pjs (three days in a row) so that’s one issue I don’t have. Thank you so much for letting me be a part of this. This year has been very hard and self reflecting, and seeing everyone all furiously happy made me happy.

    I’m broken because:
    I’m a severe self critic and this holds me back and hurts me.

    I’m furiously happy because:
    Music in general. And food. And some people.

  190. i’m profoundly broken; the list of whys is too long.
    how do i get the happiness part?

    (Keep breathing. Keep looking. It’s coming. I’m happy that you’re here. ~ Jenny)

  191. Holy crap, Jenny. I’m crying like a baby in my office right now. I see myself in so many of the wonderful people in your video. I can’t wait to get your new book.

    I’m broken because:
    I feel like I’m completely worthless and unloved from the actions (or lack thereof) of my father whom I never met and my step-father, that I don’t think anyone would ever want anything to do with me.

    I’m furiously happy because:
    My wonderful husband and daughter remind everyday that it could never be true.

  192. It’s very daunting and confusing to know that we are not the only ones in the world suffering from the same exact diseases/traumas/illnesses. It’s such a lonely battle, but you’ve given people like me the sunshine past the storm, Jenny. We still have to struggle through the scariness alone, but you’ve created this tribe waiting to congratulate us at the end.

    And it’s AWESOME. Thank you.

  193. Hey Jenny and all of you wonderfully beautiful broken people. I’m overwhelmed by the support that our tribe has. Without Jenny being courageous enough to have written her first book, I’d still be alone.

    Jenny, I can’t even begin to describe how thankful I am to you for giving me the gift of the tribe. I was so alone without the rest of y’all. Y’all – every single one of you – give me the strength to move forward. Thank you all so much.

  194. Jenny, You have no idea how you have touched me. I continue to reread portions of your first book because it makes me laugh out loud and I like people on the train wondering what the fuck is wrong with me. I am broken because I am a victim of maternal incest and I cannot get out from under it. I am clinically depressed and suffer from severe anxiety at times. I am furiously happy because your blog and the responses to it make me feel that I really am not alone. You are brave, as are the rest of your (our?) tribe. I love this video. So moving and honest and vulnerable. Thank you for being you.

  195. So many posts to go through but I wanted to send a shoutout to one person who caught my eye:

    @ atticcrazy :

    Two words: //you matter//.

    Know that. Believe that. And know that although we don’t know each other, I’m sending you love right now. I’ve been where you are right now. Not the exact same spot, but I’ve been in some similar level of personal hell. I’m sure we all have been at one time or another and may still end up there again.

    Repeat after me: “I matter.”

    You are, as Jenny put it, compassionate. There’s nothing wrong with that. The important thing is to not lose yourself in all of that. Even if you have lost yourself, don’t worry… you can find yourself again. I know, because I found myself when I thought I was so forever lost. I still lose myself from time to time.

    Look in the mirror and see a human being. Human beings matter. So do you because you are a human being and nothing less than that. You live. You breathe. You have fears and desires. Just like everyone else. We are all, ourselves, made of star stuff. That makes each one of us special in our own, unique way. It might not seem like it right now, but know that you matter. And it matters that you have found SOME reason to continue to BE HERE.

    Hang in there, sweetheart and stick with us, ok?

  196. Thank you Jenny.

    I am broken because my depression makes me feel like I am never good enough, nothing i do is ever good enough, and that nothing I do can change that.

    I am furiously happy because my daughters keep me going. I am not alone either.

  197. Oh goodness, thank you. That was amazing. I was crying and then I started laugh-crying because I saw all of the comments of everyone else who was also crying at work. 🙂

  198. Just want to leave this here for y’all that don’t know the marvelous New Zealand comedic duo Flight of The Conchords – who are ridiculously funny. Seems appropriate.

  199. I need to be generous and help someone out. It always drags me back from the dark, step by step. I like helping with books. I wanted to buy libraryzombie her book (excellent freaking name btw) but marydpiece beat me to it. And someone else, I’m so sorry I can’t find your comment to acknowledge you.
    So…hope this is ok Jenn,y but the first TWO people who want Jenny’s newest book but can’t afford it right now, if you will email me at vickiwebster66 at earthlink dot net, I will order the book and have it mailed to you. I am not as fortunate as marydpiece to live close enough to a signing but I can get you the book. I wish I could be more generous than that.
    Thank you my tribe…you sing to me in a key I can hum along with.

  200. It was @ educationalmentorship who was wanting to help libraryzombie (OMG…I love typing that name…I may be stealing it but not to use here)
    I just had to acknowledge her.

  201. Absolutely beautiful. Thank you for creating and sharing this video. Thank you to everyone to participated and who recognizes themselves in these signs. You are all blessed. And we are all worth it.

  202. I’m broken because I grew up under the thumb of a verbally & emotionally abusive parent with pathological attitudes towards food, spirituality, and mental health. I escaped, but not unscathed.
    I’m furiously happy because I left that toxic environment 23 years ago and am now living a sometimes crazy but fulfilling life with a handsome, supportive husband, surrounded by interesting, clever, kind friends who truly care about me.

  203. This made me cry so hard. Thank god I work from home.
    Every single person on this video is someone I want to be friends with!

    I spent a long time not understanding that my anxiety disorder was a real mental issue. I thought I was just overreacting or overly sensitive. Only in the last 10 years have I come to understand tha what I have is a real mental illness!

  204. @ Vickie W:

    OMG, you are SO incredibly sweet! Thank you so very, very much for the thought! I do hope someone takes you up on the offer for the book. What a wonderful thing to do. HAPPY FRIDAY!! 😀 Btw, the name libraryzombie has been claimed by me all over, so you may have probs claiming it, sorry! 🙂 But thank you!

    And yes, thank you again to @ marydpierce and @ educationalmentorship. You rock!

    I LOVE this tribe. I can’t believe I waited so long to speak up to this tribe. You are all beautiful and amazing and fierce and brave. Yes. Each one of you. You may not feel that way right now, but know that you are. Know that someone sees you that way. Know that you are appreciated and that you all matter.

    <3
    ~ Kelly from Canada

  205. I’m broken because I have numerous physical ailments that keep me in constant pain and a state of fatigue, and have OCD, severe depression, anxiety disorder and possibly PTSD. I was bullied, had parents with some mental problems, had a 17 year abusive relationship, and for years couldn’t afford treatment for my problems.

    But I’m furiously happy because I did survive all that. I’m furiously happy that I can actually afford meds for both physical and mental problems, I’ve been with someone great for 24 years now, and I have friends now, thanks to the internet, who understand how fucked up I am but still understand and care for me. And I have cats and books and plants and Dr. Who and silly costumes.

    May you stay furiously happy the rest of your life.

  206. I would like to extend my thanks to the absolutely wonderful and beautiful Victor, Hailey and the rest of Jenny’s family for having brought her into my life. You are the silent heroes in this marvelous tribe. I love all of you as much as I love Jenny. From the deepest depths of my heart, thank you. Thank you all for all of your support and love and generosity. You are all as much a part of my world as Jenny is.

    Jenny – the picture of you with your dad where you are dressed as a time traveller and he is Santa made me smile so hard my face almost broke.

  207. @libraryzombie..(still an awesome name) I wouldn’t try to use it out socialmedia wise especially since you were the brilliant creator and have ownership but I maybe, probably, ok…am gonna use it as my password on my computer.
    I hope someone takes me up on the book offers too!

  208. I wanted kids desperately but found out I can’t have them. I suffer from anxiety so crippling I am a (barely) functional agoraphobe. I don’t often feel like I love myself.

    I have three amazing fur babies whom I love like I birthed them myself. I work full time (every day is a mini victory for leaving the house). I met and married the man (from beyond my wildest dreams) who loves me no matter how I feel about myself.

    Thank you Jenny

  209. I am broken because the love of my life died in my arms last year and I was left to run our bookshop by myself. I am furiously happy because I’m retiring at the end of the year and I’m moving to be closer to my kids and grandsons and they actually want me to do that.

  210. Vicki W, your idea to order the book for two people who can’t afford it is absolutely perfect! I am extending your offer to two others who can’t afford the book – send your request to: evilnewwargod at gmail dot com and I will put in an order for you.

  211. The feels here are keeping me smiling all day long. Such love. 🙂 <3

    @ Vicki W: Hehe. Sounds awesome! Enjoy it! 😀

  212. Dammit Jenny. Now I want us both to have sex change operations so I can bear your child.

    Thank you for making me laugh, making me cry, making me think, and above all, making me FEEL.

  213. I am actually sitting at my desk here at work, crying like a lunatic. I kept watching the video and thinking “but these people are all beautiful, they must be so brave and awesome to make these signs and do this”. It just proves how much of an asshole a person’s own brain can be.

  214. I tried NOT to watch the video because that DAMN Mockingjay trailer came out too, and with all the broken-ness that I am, I felt it was gonna be too much. Now, I have read all the comments and I felt strong enough. The music is perfect and the message is beautiful, and Rory…oh Rory.

    Thank you for the tears and the laughter. Everyone is humbling broken and amazing and strong and powerful!!! All the comments are glorious as well and I salute every one in our tribe.
    Props to Hailey from being so brave and making us all cry and nod in togetherness.
    Love you all BIG BIG!!!

  215. Thank you for taking the shame out of being broken and the hope back in to being furiously happy. Every time I recommend your first book to someone I get messages like this : I am not a huge book reader, but I LOVE this one. Makes me feel like I am normal.
    You make ” broken” seem normal and it is, we just don’t know it until people are brave enough to speak up about it. Your Furiously brave.

  216. I swear, every time I come here I end up crying. This page, this community, all these people, make me feel the things I try to suppress. I’m not sure I want to feel all the things.
    I’m broken because my severe, treatment resistent depression and anxiety lie to me. I’m furiously happy because I know it’s okay to be broken.

  217. I am broken because I have depression and anxiety and because my depression and anxiety lead me to choose to surround myself with people who don’t value me and put me down.
    I am furiously happy because I choose to live and fight and move forward every day despite my depression and anxiety and despite the negative messages I get from the people around me.

    I never thought that someone I don’t even know could make life more beautiful and meaningful, but Jenny — you do. Thank you for things like this post and for being you.

  218. This is just so beautiful, and inspiring, and hopeful, and all the other good words, and it made me cry with it’s touching simplicity. I am broken because I suffer from clinical depression, and will have to take medication for the rest of my life so I can stay emotionally stable, but I am furiously happy that I found a medication that worked and that I am able to live a creative, engaged and independent life most of the time because of it.

  219. Damn these allergies making my eyes water again! THANK you for this – all of you. After a particularly shitty day this is everything.

  220. It’s been a bad, bad few months for me. I’m broken because of too many reasons to list, that manifest in anxiety and a really bad downswing with my bipolar disorder. “Depression Lies” has been a mantra for me when I realize I’m spiraling down, and a code phrase for the people who love me when I don’t realize I’m spiraling yet. Watching this video, reading all those cards… it made me cry, but it reminded me I have a tribe out there – I’m not in it alone. And that it’s not as hard as it feels to find the happy. Thank you for that.

  221. Wish I could post a picture I took at the beach that had broken shells and I wrote the word broken in the sand. But yes there is always the part of us that knows our stories haven’t yet ended.

  222. Holy crap there should be a warning on your stuff sometimes, now I have to convince my boss I’m not some crazy lady sitting in my office crying at the office accounting.

  223. Thanks to everyone in the video, and in the comments…I love this tribe!

    I’m broken because I have bipolar, and add, and gad.
    I’m furiously happy because the next up should be here soon, I hope…and I haven’t lost hope yet!

  224. I am broken because I have no friends other than the internet. Because I let the loneliness rule my life with an iron fist. Autism is a fucking bitch, and the caretakers in most cases are left alone with no one who understands.

    I am furiously happy because my internet friends accept me for who I really am, and they helped me find the Bloggess, and that my son is a wonderful little boy who I love more than life itself.

  225. I wrote a blog post today. My forth one ever. On the account I’ve had since 2012. And that makes me Furiously Happy, because I write a lot in my head, but I’m never brave enough to put it out there, even though I made a blog for that purpose. I write run on sentences way too much and since I hate many of the more common grammar errors, I’m always worried that if I post, other people will judge my grammar too much to look past it and get to the content. (Anxiety much?) But today I was brave and I posted. So, yay!

  226. Your video just made me do the ugly cry. But it did something else, too…

    My husband rested his head on my shoulder while I was watching. I automatically assumed he was going to laugh at me for crying (my anxiety makes me assume this).

    He didn’t. He told me I wasn’t alone. He listed every single thing that wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for me. He named every living thing that is living a better life because I’m here. He told me I’m not alone. We cried together.

    He told me I’m not alone.

  227. talesofaweirdmom: “But today I was brave and I posted.”

    Then today, you WON. Posting anything genuine and real is ALWAYS going to be scary, and every time you can push through that fear, you’ve already won. It doesn’t matter what happens after that, because you’re already past the hardest part.

    And if people say mean things, just remember that you have an entire freaking army at your back: All of us.

    Now make with the run-on sentences! Release that kraken, and just keep going.

    Always keep going.

  228. You are all immeasurably amazing.
    I am broken because I’ve been married twice and both husbands stopped loving me after gaining weight when I got pregnant.

    I am furiously happy because I wasn’t supposed to be able to get pregnant, so I truly know how blessed I am that I have two kids who hug me, no matter what my jean size.