No Pants Party. You’re invited.

in functions I shouldn't be allowed to attend, FURIOUSLY HAPPY, Random Crap, You're invited

So.  My book comes out next week and I’m 50% excited and 70% terrified and 100% not sure how math works.  Normally when a book comes out you have a big launch party in a big city and big people come and then I have a big panic attack and everyone wanders around making a big deal about the fact that the author won’t come out from under the table (truth) and that’s why this time my editor agreed to let me have my FURIOUSLY HAPPY launch party right here in my house with the best people ever.  My cats.  And you.  The very people who helped me write this book and who often have the exact same fears about leaving their house.  EVERYONE WINS.  So, you are officially invited to my house (via the internet) on launch day for a reading and fun and ridiculousness.  It’ll be this Tuesday, September 22nd at 7p central.  It’ll probably last an hour, or until we get bored or too drunk to internet.  Or if you hate looking at me you can join in on twitter using the hashtag #FH (short for “Furiously Happy”).

CLICK HERE AND BOOKMARK FOR THE LINK TO WHERE THE PARTY WILL BE.  

But I need a name for this.  I was calling it “The Agoraphobia Party” but I thought people might misunderstand, and then I thought maybe “Introverts United” but that sort of already exists on a t-shirt I own (INTROVERTS UNITE!  But separately.  And at your own houses) and that seems like cheating.  Then I thought maybe “The No Pants Party” because the great thing about staying home while attending a party is that no one knows you don’t have pants on, but then I remembered that in the UK “pants” means “panties” and 1) I don’t want to have a “no panties party” because ew.  And 2) I hate the word panties so much that I want it destroyed.  I want to destroy panties.  Jesus.  That came out wrong.  How did I get here?  

Then I thought maybe “The Blanket Fort Coalition” because most of us with anxiety issues can’t wait until the party ends so that we can go home and hide in our blanket forts with our cats and books and phones and this would be nice because I’m basically inviting you into my blanket fort.  (Not a euphemism).  Except it’s a blanket fort with twitter and video and booze and I’ll probably end up saying something ridiculous that will live on the internet forever.  But it’s probably not going to be any worse than “I want to destroy panties” (hopefully) so it’s (possibly) all uphill from here.

I still don’t think I’ve come up with the perfect name though so I’m asking you.  Double Unicorn Success Unconference?  Sloth Lovers Anonymous?  The Assembly for the Advancement of Not Assembling Anyplace We Have To Make Smalltalk?  The Worst Orgy Ever?  The Apple Dumplin Gang?  Conscious Uncoupling?  Obviously I need help.

And the second thing is…would you come?  Is that a weird party to have?  Would you go online and watch a party that consists of me doing a book reading in front of my cats while my friend Marlena pours booze slushies and pulls together questions from twitter for the Q&A?  Would it make you more likely to come if I say that we’ll do a drinking game where every time Trump says something stupid we do a shot until one of us dies of alcohol poisoning?  And I’ll have special guests (who might all be taxidermied, if I’m being honest) come join me?  And maybe someone famous will show up and then you can tell everyone that last night you went to a book launch and John Stamos showed up and then your coworkers will be like, “UNCLE JESSE?” and you’ll just shrug like, “Yeah, I guess.  No biggie”?  And I’ll give away books and tiny raccoons and maybe some taxidermy and I’ll show you how to french braid a dog and then we’ll all share funny videos of people that we hate falling, or hamsters eating tiny burritos, or hedgehogs being hedgehogs?  I can’t tell if I’m making this more or less inviting.  This is exactly why I never have parties.  And why you should agree to come to this one.

PS. If you are an extrovert and hate being alone you can get together with your book club that night and all watch me doing my reading and it’s like you just brought an author with you to your book club.  YOU WIN BOOK CLUB!  I assume.  I don’t know the rules of book club.  Other than (I assume) no one talks about book club.  I might be mixing that up with something else.

OH!  WHAT IF WE CALL THE PARTY “FIGHT CLUB”?  I always wanted to be in Fight Club.  But that name’s taken.  Never mind.  Still thinking.

PPS.  John Stamos will not be at the party.  Unless, I guess, he really wants to come.  I mean, he’s not not invited.  You know what?  I take it back.  John Stamos might be at the party after all.  That man is totally unpredictable.

PPPS.  Look what I got today!

furiouslyhappy audio cds

My audiobook!  If you come up with the winning name for this party I’ll send you a signed one.  Or a book.  Or someone else’s book if you hate me.  Whatever.  Not judging.

"WHY ISN'T THIS AVAILABLE ON AUDIO SO DJ'S CAN MIX THIS SHIT UP?" ~ said no one ever. Yet.
“WHY ISN’T THIS AVAILABLE ON VINYL SO DJ’S CAN MIX THIS SHIT UP IN THE CLUB, YO?” ~ Said no one ever. Yet.

574 thoughts on “No Pants Party. You’re invited.”

Read comments below or add one.

  1. “Furiously Naked”? “There’s a Raccoon In My Pants”? “Taxidermy This”?
    OK, so my future in the event-naming business is suspect.
    Either way: Color me there! And congrats again on the book, my friend.

  4. I would absolutely attend this party. I will be babysitting my 6 week old granddaughter and this is the perfect opportunity to take a baby to a party and not be judged. You won’t judge, right? I promise to limit her wine intake.

  5. Troosers (because that’s how people in the UK pronounce trousers) Optional Party.

    I’m putting it on my calendar now! 🙂

  8. How about Furious Fight Club of Happy Drinkers Featuring John Stamos If He Feels Like Getting In a Blanket Fort With Ferris Mewler. Too Long?

  10. “Rory’s Unbirthday Party”, that way it takes all the pressure off you to be the hostess.

    Congratulations on your book! I can’t wait to read it. My face still hurts from laughing from the first one.

  11. “Assembly for the Advancement of Not Assembling Anyplace” gets my vote just for the acronym – AANAA for short…and it’s a palindrome. Although “taxidermy this” comes a close second.

  12. I would watch you clean an oven. Not in a creepy way though. I’m just saying that everything you do is awesome. So yes. I’m so there.

  16. Can’t wait. Always love a party no matter what you call it, I’m in. Let’s party till our pants fall off and then we can
    hide under the blanket fort and laugh.

  19. FYI…for about 1 minute I had the wrong date up there. It’s on Tuesday, not Monday. But we may end up testing it out on Monday anyway so you may get to see the outtakes if you show up a day early.

  21. umm…Monday is the 21st, though. Not the 22nd like it says in your post. So, will it be Monday, or Tuesday? The good thing is, that being an introvert, I will be home both days, so either one works!

    (You caught me in the middle of fixing it. It’s Tuesday. And it will be glorious. And this is exactly why I shouldn’t be trusted to throw parties. ~ Jenny)

  23. “Secret Kim Kardashian Sex Tape” – I can guarantee you a lot of people will sign up, but in hindsight it might not be the audience you’re looking for.

  25. I would call it the “Intronet Party”. It’s like introvert. But with internet. except people might think its a party to be introduced to the internet and if this is their first foray…oh man.

    Though, how would people outside the internet even know about the party or how to join it anyway? Risk is low.

  26. Well, if you’re going for an ‘orgy’ type vibe, and since pants are optional, and since you’re playing on the ‘conscious uncoupling’ thing because we hate people, and since we’ll probably almost all be drunk, you could call it “Unconscious Coupling”?

  27. How about Furiously Pantsless? That way you can keep the pantsless theme alive and…wait, this runs into the whole “pants vs. panties” thing again. And “Furiously Pantsless” makes it sound like you’re furious at not wearing pants, which is completely wrong. Shit. Thought I had something there.

    But I will totally attend this party. And I think I have some leftover wine in the fridge, along with plenty of assorted chips. So I’m set. =^_^=

  28. Finally! A party for people with social anxiety (like me)! Hooray! I’ll be there. After you do the reading, can we do each other’s hair and talk about boys and play, “Light as a feather; stiff as a board”? I’m still coming even if the answer to that is no.

  31. Thank goodness for reading the comments….I was all ready to whine and cry because I won’t be able to attend on Monday night, but I can totally come on Tuesday!!! Yayyyyy!!!!

    What about a Come As You Are Party? Because when I was a teenager that meant come to the party in your pjs or whatever you happened to be wearing, which is totally how the internet works (and this party), PLUS its a double entendre . . . we can all come as we are with no judgments on our weirdness or hangups, which is totally how this tribe of stranglings works!

    Can’t wait for the party! (But pleeaaasssee remind us all again because I am terrible at remembering stuff like this and then end up being all sad cuz I missed all the fun.)

  32. This is the best kind of party ever. Will there be drinks and nosh recipes posted before, so we can prep?
    Also- that Blanket Fort Coalition is a perfect name for a political party. Or a SuperPAC. Or publishing consortium.

    (There totally will. Suggestions welcome. Plus a 5 minute pre-party sometimes soon so I can make sure that I know what I’m doing. ~ Jenny)

  35. Is it going to be in a basement? Because church fellowship hours are always in the basement, and this is, I think, the first ever Church of Bloggessianism Fellowship Hour. So, if it’s going to be in the basement, with metal folding chairs, gravy, and red drink for the kids, we could call it that–The Church of Bloggessianism Fellowship Hour.

  36. This sounds like my kind of party. Count me in! I’m already putting it in my calendar. Virtual high fives all around!

  41. Furiously Happy Yet Introverted Release Party
    or maybe
    Lawsbians Unite to Crash Yet Another Website Party

    All I know is that I’ll be exiting my Health Information online class early that night. Thank you so very much!

  42. That sounds awesome! I am seconding Rory’s unbirthday, and the furiously happy hour, since I have no suggestions of my own. I will be there if I remember about it and am not reading a book or working on a quilt, or covered in cats.

  44. I started a Tuesday Evening Drinking Club with my colleagues who also teach until 5:45 on Tuesdays and Thursdays. You can have that name. And that is why I might not be present via Internet or Twitter next week but I will be with you in spirit. And booze.

  45. Definitely my kind of party. How bout we say…We’ll have a house party, we don’t need nobody. Turn your TV off, break that boom-box out. We’ll wake up all the neighbors til the whole block hates us, And the cops will show up and try to shut us down. If you’re gonna be a homebody We’re gonna have a house party. If you wanna be a homebody. We’re gonna have a house party!! Courtesy of Sam Hunt!! Officially my favorite song.

  47. I’m in! Planning my blanket fort and polishing my tiara now. The wearing of pants will be a party-day decision.

  48. Why do we need a name at all? That’s just confining everyone to a specific box and we don’t need that shit. If you say, “I’m going to a party at Jenny’s”, people don’t ask what kind of party it is or what the party’s name is. No, they ask, “Jenny who?” and since we already all know who Jenny is, no problem.

  50. Since Fight Club is taken, perhaps it could be Rory’s Combat League? (I <3 the thesaurus)

  51. If we are going to break the internet like we did when LPTNH came out and we had that book club, i’m ALL in! because let’s face it, I have some of the best internet friends from THAT party. my vote is for the “Let’s pretend this never happened: Furiously Happy edition, Book club party”

  53. Ooh, a party I can still be my wallflower self, without feeling guilty and uncomfortable and sad about being the aforementioned wallflower. YES. I suck at naming things, so good luck with that. The Furiously Happy (#FH) Googlepalooza Party is the best I could come up with. Also, I hate that word too. I can’t even type it, I hate it so much. If that word could just die a fiery explosive death, that would be great.

  56. A party that I won’t try desperately to get out of! I’m in! With pants,(but they’ll be sweatpants).

  57. I think you should line up all your awesome friends to help break the internet party. make it a hangout with them! you know, get Wil & Anne Wheaton, John Scalzi, Neil Gaimen and his wife Amanda, Phil Plait.. you know, the “gang”

  59. I just preordered your book so I can attend your signing in Chicago. We happened to be in the area Sunday, so I know I can find a parking place without needing to parallel park. If, however, I do have to parallel park, I have a friend who lives two blocks away from the bookstore who will hopefully be home and can come down and park my car for me. So if you should see a crazy person in a CR-V with a Doctor Who license plate frame who is crying hysterically while driving around and around and around, that’s me and I can’t find a place to park.

    I don’t have any party name ideas for you – I’m trying not to panic about driving to and from Chicago while possibly needing to parallel park next month.

  60. The “We know who you are we’ve got your kidneys” party, absolutely nothing to do with anything but a possible way to get all those people who wake up in ice baths to tune in!

  61. This is a great idea. I hate leaving my house in the evening! I want to win a signed copy of your audio book or book, but I am so not creative. Therefore my very literal suggestion would be to call it what it is- “The Furiously Happy Virtual Book Launch Party: Have it Your Way.”

  63. I read so many awesome-sauce names for your party that I forget the one I had in mind. Or maybe it’s “Awesome Sauce”? “Saucy Awesomeness”? I don’t know. What I do know is that I need your introvert t-shirt. I’m a psychologist, and people find it crazy to believe that I’m an introvert too. What they don’t realize is that I’m EXHAUSTED at the end of my day just having been sitting in an office for 8 hours. I love your blog, I love your awesome-sauciness, and I love the voice you are giving to people around the world!

  64. Let’s Pretend We’re Furiously Happy Party!

    Or ummm…

    Party Everywhere but Mostly Here!

    Last one…

    Happily Together All Alone Party!

  65. Damn it, Jenny! We’re in the midst of moving across Canada, which, if you haven’t looked at a map lately, is a BIG DAMN COUNTRY. My husband is taking my iMac the 20th. and my daughter’s laptop just died yesterday.

    HOW AM I GOING TO ATTEND THE BEST PARTY EVER?!

    I’m totally going to cry now.

    I never go to parties (chronic pain disability + stress + anxiety= Me No Go) and this I could go to.

    Any hope of a do over? Hallowe’en? We could all dress up, or SAY we’re dressed up, and unite, but in our own houses? I could be there for that!

  68. I’d go with … “Who Needs a Fucking Party?” … the ultimate “un”party. If Uncle Jesse shows up, well, then we can call it a party. 😉

  70. It doesn’t matter what we call it now because when people look back at it from the future they shall call it the How Racoons Took Over The World party

  71. Yes, I’ll come! Sounds awesome. Yeah, don’t call it Fight Club. Reading that book right now. I’ve read three of his books in a row. He’s kind of a nihilistic little fella. Anyway, you could call it Authors with Borders? Or All my (taxidermied) friends are dead?

    https://fbcdn-profile-a.akamaihd.net/hprofile-ak-prn2/v/t1.0-1/c43.43.534.534/s160x160/551359_562932260407735_408562461_n.jpg?oh=eb271bb5af6fc45f01a88a8780bf3731&oe=565DC228&amp;gda=1450650685_3e03e420b6ecfe616e7bf410ca05784a

    Okay, not good with the suggestions right now. Looking forward to the party! I hope it’s okay, but I will probably wear pants. At the very least, shorts.

  72. If we’re going for nerdily naughty you could go with “Book-ake” because I’m sure too many people will be making the same face when they get their hands on the book. Sin Pantalones Fiesta! (Without Pants Party! and when you put it in Spanish you can treat yourself to queso and not feel bad when you polish off the whole bowl, because it’s a party!)

  73. Well darn it. There was supposed to be an image of that dinosaur book called All my Friends are Dead. It didn’t post. Going back to bed.

  74. I was liking Unconscious Coupling party until I realized that’s really bad, although it might be the result of Internet, drinking, and going pant(ies)less.

  76. Thanks to who ever reminded me that American pants & UK pants are different. Until that point I was “No pants?? Oh FFS! I’m going to have to trim my beard line” & I broke out in a hot sweat at the thought of my lady 5 o’clock shadow being all over the tinterweb….

  78. I’ll totally go. And if you do Monday out takes then Tuesday should be called “Furiously Hiding: The Sequel.” Don’t forget the punctuation, though, or people won’t be able to find your book.

  79. “Furiously Happy Blanket Fort Party: More comfortable than under the table” I’ll see you there and wearing my pj’s. 🙂

  82. Can we call ourselves “The Pajama Game” without it being a copyright infringement? If not, we could call ourselves “Introverts Anonymous”

  83. what about “The Furiously Super Duper Trousers Optional Happy Blanket Fort Coalition Party”??

    We could call it TFSDTOHBFCP for short or Toby, because it makes more sense

  84. An open book for shut ins…open book closed door… There’s safety in numbers,as long as we’re in our own house…home bound happy hour…

  85. im voting fight club – because were all fighting some kind of mental thing or another and none of us lost, and this can be a big FUCK YOU depression, jenny wrote a book and were all STILL here to read it and get shit faced! – also i MAY not make it im driving home from work at seven most days 🙁 how long will it last i can probably catch it around 7:0ish?

  87. I like the idea of a, ” come as you are, via the Internet party.” @TheFakeGormet great idea. Because we’re all weird and broken (or maybe I’m projecting a bit) and it’ll be nice to have a party that celebrates what will undoubtedly be a fantastic book, and the fact that we’re all in this together.

  89. This is EXQUISITE. Also, somebody up there posted “Furiously Happy Hour w/ Jenny Lawson” and I totally dug that. Simple. Unadorned. Unconfusing to those of us who…get confused.

  90. Isn’t this just a service at the Church of Bloggessianism? So, let’s call it Christmas, because that’s when everyone goes to church…

  91. Raccoons Don’t Wear Pants So We’re Not Either Party. Except Jenny’s Raccoons. Wait, Are Jams Pants? Party. (though I like Fight Club best. It IS what we’re doing.)

  93. How about “The furiously better than a book launch pajama party”?
    I’ll be there if I can figure out how!

  94. Furiously Freeing (yourself of pants or bra or whatever you do in your own home) Party? Bandits Behind the Bar Party? Apparently I like alliteration.

  95. It’s a party in my pants and no one is invited? Spaghetti monster tea party? Jenny Lawson super secret book club? Bring your own house party?
    I will be there with bells on and a bottle of booze. I am so fucking excited to be there I’m going to mark it off in my calendar so I don’t forget.

  96. My entry for the name of your coming out (?) party is The Red Dress Society. I read your blog off and on until the red dress post. Since then I check your site several times a day to see if you are going to be funny, serious, awesome, taxidermied, or just the greatest person I’ve never met. (My daughter met you at Blogher in Chicago 2-3 years ago, so I’ve met you once-removed.)

  98. Furiously Happy Hour is already taken? Geez. I thought it would be so original. We need the ability to upvote posts on this blog, like the NYT. I vote for Furiously Happy Hour.

  99. Double Unicorn Success Club Virtual Awards Banquet and Open Bar?
    I’ll bet we could all use another award to put on the ol’ resume.

  102. Let’s Pretend We’re Furiously Happy? I mean it’s what we introverts do and being at a party, but not having to go to a party would make me Furiously Happy!

  103. I like, “The Laser Broccoli Turtle Party” — because it sounds like either the sort of festivities I’d want to know more about, or the sort of political party I’d likely identify with. Either way, it implies booze. 🙂

  105. I vote for either Assembly for the Advancement of Not Assembling Anyplace (I also love the acronym and can see all of us shouting “AANAA!!!!!” loudly and possibly drunkenly) or The Furiously Happy Hour with Jenny Lawson. Or we can call it The Party Which Shall Not Be Named. Either way, I’m there. With pants on. 🙂

  106. Furiously Fooked up, Bring your own Xanax, see you under the covers.
    .Can Victor please throw a towel on the floor before or after the party?
    If there are any rattlesnakes, count me out.
    I am making myself a sticky note right now to remember to be there.
    I love party’s where I don’t have to talk to anyone, do my make-up, wear a bra, please take this as my RSVP.
    Can’t freaking wait!

  107. Could go with No Trousers Party…. I wonder if Wallace and Gromit would show up.
    I feel like we should work something in there about lady garden but not quite sure how yet.
    I suspect we would attract the wrong crowd with 8lbs of uncut cocaine as the name.
    DJ Junaita Weasel’s Wicked House Party … I can totally see the flyer in my mind now.

    Whatever we call it I’m totz there in solidarity 😉

  108. My hubs came up with the best party name…

    “The booksidermist: write a book. Stand in a corner.”

    …I’m a fan.

  110. How about “Knock-knock, Motherfucker!”
    Catchy and clever, just trying to remember who originally coined that phrase. Hmmm…

  112. My son’s football game is on Tuesday. Would it be wrong of me to not go to his game so I could come to your party instead? Probably but I would much rather be at home watching your party. Well that sounds awkward and wrong.

  116. I am so IN. I’ll definitely sign up. I love the idea of having a raucous party from behind my computer screen. And how ’bout “Introverts’ One-Night Stand.” First thing that came to mind so can’t vouch for that making any sense. See you next Tuesday.

  117. Next week is going to be the best week ever! I’m getting married this weekend AND YOUR BOOK IS COMING OUT! I will be joining your party of Awesomeness, Drunken-slushies, Anxiety, and Unicorn Love with my future husband! …. Possibly without pants 😉

  118. Since the party name is still a work in progress, though I see many wonderful suggestions, for now I’m putting it down in my calendar as FURIOUSLY HAPPY I CAN STAMOS-LY PANTSLESS PARTY.

  119. I do not have a clever party name suggestion, but I will totally come. I love parties when I don’t have to leave my house. Or put pants on. And I’m an extrovert!

  120. The Broken People in Stitches Party.

    Steal– er, borrowing from one of the best songs ever, “All My Favorite People are Broken” by Over The Rhine.

  122. I have always wanted to go to a “Under-the-table Happy Dead Raccoon Launch Party! Of course you have to make sure you don’t drop the “a” from the Launch on the invites 🙂

  127. I think it should be a theme party too. Only because I’d hate that in real life and never get invited to them anyway, but kind of love the concept in theory. So I could actually go to a theme party and yet not have to follow the theme. Win! As for the theme ideas, I’ve read a few. Ones I like: Rubiks Cube Party – where we all swap clothes so that we end up wearing only one colour at the end of the night (see what I mean? I’d never actually participate but it sounds fun). House Number party – where you dress like the year your house number indicates. So for example if you’re a 25 you could dress all caveperson, if youre an 1829 you could do a steampunk or something and if you’re a 23567 you could be like a Buck Rogers on acid or something. Or even a Doctor Who party and we could all dress like angels and Daleks and yet not have the stress of trying to find the best costume ever. It could be an ABC party (anything but clothes) and that would be cool too because people could wear no pants or no ginch (that’s our regional slang for panties btw – so much a better word!) and no one will even see so there’s just no pressure at all. Did I mention I’m in? What an excellent party already – I can RSVP and if I forget or leave early no one will talk about me behind my back! Best party ever! A No Judgements Here party. Fabulous!

  131. I have no super fun name to suggest, as I am boring and uncreative, but you bet your sweet bippy I will be there (in my house, with my cats)!

  133. Funkadelic Deathstar Get Down and Boogie Party? (BTW, Funkadelic Deathstar is my “My Little Pony” name, but you can use it for this.)

  134. Please, please. please do this! I happen to have that whole day off and I will start drinking booze slushies early with you! I don’t think I can make it to your signing in SF in December because it’s a weeknight and I work super early, but I would be able to do this and I promise to attend with my blanket and my pants on. 😀 And for the record, I like The Furious Happening, too.

  135. Sorry, I have to go to work that night and my boss has this whole thing about drinking and hanging out with John Stamos (I won’t even go into what that’s all about). But if you save it to YouTube I’ll watch later and pretend it’s happening live.

  137. Furiously Happy To Be Wearing No Pants/Trousers/Panties/Whatever Party!
    Might I suggest a margarita drink recipe? Because everyone knows that when you drink copious amounts of tequila, you can no longer be expected to act responsibly. Granted, internet-ing sans pants after excessive tequila consumption could lead to a whole host of interesting YouTube videos, but whatever, man. Live in the moment, amIright?

  138. Call it: “Rory’s One night stand” 🙂 figured it’d be the one time he’s in a lot of places at one time.

  141. YES.
    I will put it on my calendar. It will be excellent.

    I’m waiting to hear about a job, and one of the reasons I hope I get it is that I’ll be able to afford your new book (and I owe my best friend one because she bought me your first book)!

  142. I think you should call this “Ang’s birthday party” because this is ON MY BIRTHDAY!! I am so excited for the invite, I can’t WAIT! Should I pretend-bring an appetizer or a side? Also, will Beyonce be there? That would be the best.

  143. I am so in! The book tour date In Saint Louis is my daughter’s due date so if the baby is late we will be there too!

  145. THIS IS A BRILLIANT IDEA, I WOULD DEFINITELY ATTEND!!

    Furiously Internetting Party?
    The Furiously Internal Party?
    Stay at Home Party?

  148. Oh, I’m in. And I’m calling it the ‘Blanket TARDIS’ party on my calendar, because I can attend from my blanket fort, but we’re on the internet, so it’s BIGGER ON THE INSIDE GET IT. God, I’m even worse at this than you. Can’t wait 🙂

  149. Best gimmick ever – do your reading while eating an assortment of nuts: cashews, walnuts, pecans…whatever. Then call your party: “The Bloggess: Furiously Happy with nuts in her mouth”

    Is that too offensive? Oh wait…I forgot which blog I was reading.

  152. The Super Most-Important Assemblage of Not Going Outside Right Now
    (SMIANGORN, moderately pronounceable)
    Totally on my calendar, whatever you end up calling it.

  153. The Books, Booze and Bloggess Blowout! I’ll be there! And by there I mean here. But looking at there through the Internet. Oooh, or the Be There and Be Square Book Launch, since we’re all attending through monitor squares.

  156. The “No One Has To Stand Awkwardly In The Corner Of The Kitchen Party”

    Whatever it’s called, me and my cat will be there. He’s not wearing pants. I haven’t decided yet.

  157. I think this is a great idea. I always want to attend book signings/readings, and I even live in a place where my favorite authors have them all. the. time. I’ve been to one. Ever. But I attend things on the internet every day.

  160. I will totally come! As will my baby, Rory. No seriously, that’s my baby’s name. I will drink celebratory sparkling wine. Baby Rory will not. I mean, probably not. He is, however, totally committed to a no-pants theme.

  161. “Furiously Happy to Party Alone Together” sounds about right to me, although it’s not quite as catchy as “No pants party.” I LOVE the idea of partying via the internet. Oh! “Lanch Party,” a la The Office! That’s how I am now mentally going to refer to the party.

  162. Furiousiter’s Party! – Pants optional party.

    I’d like to be called a Furiousiter. Furiositer’s unite! The party is coming!!!

  163. I’m supposed to go to a ‘Sushi Night’ with co workers but this sounds like a perfect excuse to get out of it. “Sorry, folks. But I’ve been invited by my favourite author to attend a book release party and that is way more important than your damn sushi and awkward socializing.” You just saved me from hated outsideness and I get to sound super important. Best. Day. Ever.

  165. Yep, I’ll be there, provided I don’t have to actually, you know, be there. I’ve already got your book Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, and I’ve ordered your book Furiously Happy, but it won’t be in by the time of your party. Perhaps we should call your party Siting Together Separately, Mutually Reading Your Book Alone. Tho that does sound rather depressing. How about instead A Good Time Was Had By All. See, a happy title with no inherent indication that we’re all just Reclusive Voyeurs Who Are Living Vicariously Through You, though that might be a good title too.

  166. Can I have a viewing party to view your party? Or is that too many parties that have to rely on things being viewed? I’m pretty sure this is how black holes get started.

  167. I will DEFINITELY be there. What about the “lean into the weird” party? Or the “Knock Knock MOFO” party? “No goddamn towels allowed” party? “Wine slushie anonymous”? I should probably stop talking now.

  168. Will this be recorded? So that those of us having to do things like put kids to bed at that hour can still witness the fun after the fact?

  169. Introception (with booze, pants optional). Because it’s going to be a bunch of introverts watching you, while tweeting you and each other about you and your book. The rest is self explanatory.

  170. OMG, I want to be at this party, but I will be at Disneyland! Please tell me it will be recorded and put on the Youtubes for posterity..posteriors? Can you put taxidermied raccoon butts on the YouTubes?

  173. It should be the Fiercely Estatic Gathering. Or Viciously Elated Soirée. Because I love synonyms.

    I’ll be there. Probably with pants. Hope that’s cool.

  174. 1) Yes, I will be there. (Once I’m home from class.)
    2) Night of the Blanket Forts works. Heck, any time I can go to a party without actually, you know, going to a party is a great night.

  176. The Unsocially Accepted Party. Because being “social” to me means being dressed up (or just dressed) and lots of people making small talk and putting themselves out there. Instead of being inside our forts. I love my fort.

  177. The Not THAT Fight Club Furiously Pantless Unparty and Gatherless Gathering for Better Than Normal Folk.

  179. I wasn’t going to come* but my cat just punched me in the face. (Yes, he punches. And he’s a big, scary, grumpy Russian, so IT HURT.) He’s a big fan of Rolly. Hunter and Ferris are cool too, but he’s a bit paranoid about being seen with them because they’re always in the spotlight and the government is always watching. (Russian, remember?) So anyway, I think I’ve changed my mind in the interest of not having my thumbs broken.

    *Just kidding. I was totally going to come.

  181. RSVP-ing for your non-house house party right now! Question…..will you be sharing your wine slushie recipe??

  182. You cleverly came up with this but didn’t even notice. . .
    YOU WIN BOOK CLUB!

    (Apologies if this posted twice.)

  183. You can French braid a dog? I Must See This. Even if I didn’t think you were completely awesome and hadn’t listened to your first book 400 times and already pre-ordred both the book and audio book I would be there for the dog-braiding. I can’t French braid even a human and my dog is a hound-mutt not a Papillion, so it will be knowledge wasted on me – but I wanna See!

  184. I will be there with my dog and probably my kids. I have some dead animals on my walls but they belong to the man of the house and he will be hunting. Are bras also optional? I mean, I like to come home from work and put on sweats and remove my bra.
    Also, can someone please tell me what time it will be in New Mexico? I live there but have a hell of a time figuring out central, mountain, and all other times. I want to set an alarm because sometimes I forget things.

  186. I would love to attend your virtual book launch party, but unfortunately, due to the time difference and me having to go to stupid work on Wednesday, I will not be able to. I think all your ideas sound marvellous and wish more parties could be done via streaming video. I have pre-ordered your audio book though, and am super excited about getting to listen to it. It’s one of my most anticipated books of the latter half of 2015 (no pressure). I will tweet you a link to my review once I finish and blog your book.

    Good luck with your book launch and the following tour. I really wish I lived in the US, but I live in Norway, hence the inconvenient time difference. You are amazing and my life has been a better place since I discovered your blog.

  188. Yes!!!! This is my kind of party, the kind where I don’t have to leave the house or wear a bra. Thank you! I will totally, totally attend via the internets- wish that was an option more in life! See you soon!!!

  189. I’m voting furIously happy hour. And drinking. Can I vote twice for the drinking? I don’t get out much…

  192. This is the best part of my lunch break, and Im eating leftover ribs. You are better than last night’s ribs! So now you know why everyone is going to totally rsvp to this thing.
    (Was thinking, if you destroy the word panties, then there really will be no panties…)
    Yes I will be at your not party and my bottle of moscato will be my plus one. Whatever you decide to call it, Im calling it your Apart-y because I’m corny and I love puns and who’s gonna stop me? Exactly.
    Also, I think youre onto something and this is the wave of the party future!

  193. Rory’s Furiously Happy Happy Hour

    I WILL be drinking with Rory while watching the fun! : )

  194. How About “Jenny Lawson’s ‘Furiously Happy’ book launch online party?” While you might be nervous about the party, the rest of us are just excited to read your new book, and would really like to hear you performing sections of it. We want a title that defines the party correctly, so that we do not miss it, hence the descriptive title. And, trust me: the only people who will come are those who already adore your humor, so no humorous title is needed. We just need to know that it is what it is, and will come for it.

  195. Oh, I love the Furiously Happy Hour mentioned above. I can’t wait to see which one you pick. See you next Tuesday, so excited! Introverts rule the world, quietly, at home, while reading a book!

  196. “Virtually Furious”?…I never win contests, but I am concerned that you will have a heavy karmic debt if you pay the Trump drinking game. DON’T do it!

  197. I re watched Dirty Dancing this weekend. How about “Furiously Hiding: Nobody Puts Rory in the Corner.” Or not. Do I have to join Twitter to get the full experience? I was thinking about going to the Huntsville signing, but that’s a four hour drive, which means I’d have to tape my eyelids open to drive that far, and then I looked up the event, and it’s not just you, its lots of people at a literary festival and I might have to talk to somebody, so this party is it. It’s also my husband’s birthday, but he’ll probably be at his Civil Air patrol meeting (which tells you how exciting our life is) so I’m totally in for the “No Guests Allowed in the House” party. Do you still have “Knock, knock, motherfucker” towels? I want to see one. And can anyone recommend a good, on the edge of being sweet, white wine? College destroyed my capacity for hard liquor.

  199. The Come As You Are/Stay At Home Tribe Family Get Together. United Meeting of Internet Livingroom Pantless Interlopers (oops, that doesn’t sound right…). Whatever you call it, we’re gonna have a wonderful time as we sit in our mental forts and listen to you reading to us about life and the pursuit of happiness.

  200. Yes, yes, a million times yes! SO much less terrifying that flying all the way to Portland to attend a book signing only to either be too weird to leave the hotel or to show up in tears and hug your ankles, scaring us both.

  201. “The know fear party” “Furiously Agoraphobic party”

    Agoraphobia literally means fear of the marketplace and the internet has pretty much destroyed the marketplace anyways. WE ALL WIN.

    “internet killed the marketplace star”

  203. My suggestions. You’re welcome. Heh:
    – 5 Seconds of Neuroses
    – Two Degrees from Neil Gaiman
    – No, Nana – I Said BOOK Release!
    – Botox Party (You know, to get fancy ladies to show. Fancy ladies bring the best hors d’oeurves.)
    – Two Webcams, One Book
    – Of course I have real friends – STOP JUDGING ME, CATS!
    – So You Think You Can Book Party?
    – I ❤ My LAX? (I should probably turn off the TV now.)

    Will there be cake and booze? Asking for a friend. Can’t wait – I’ll be there!

  204. Furiously Fearless. You might be fearful of a big launch party in public, but you are NOT fearful to share your fears……….and that is furiously awesome!!

  205. “Furiously Happy Apart-y!” Because when I said that to my Hubbs, he went “Huh? Does that mean you’re furiously happy because you’re apart? Or because you’re together?” I said, “Yes! Exactly!”

  207. P.S. I love words but HATE the word “panties” too, more than I hate mosquitoes! (The actual insect, not the word. The word is actually pretty cool. Sounds like it means “teensy little mosque” which is not true but should totally be a thing.)

  208. ARGH! I have to be at a middle school football game that night so I can’t come. THIS IS TRAGIC! OH! You could call the party that! And I’ll take booze to my kids game and drink every couple of minutes because I ASSUME that’s how often Donald Trump says something stupid and then when I’m good and drunk I’ll start yelling THIS IS TRAGIC after every play so I’ll really be with you in spirit. It will all be awesome unless my kid’s team is winning and then everyone will just think I’m a really terrible mom….. WORTH IT!

  211. I WOULD watch you clean an oven inappropriately and I would name the party: Books. Babies. Bears. Battlestar Galactica. Bash. Special Guest: Jesse and the Rippers with a haunting performance by James Garfield. Possibly also too long, but you want people to have a pretty good idea of what they are getting into.

  212. How about The Party I Would Always Have If Given A Choice Because I Get To Stay Home But Still Laugh My Ass Off And Be Part Of Something Amazing And Their Are Booze Slushies Party? All I can say is you are a mastermind of parties and I am going to try to talk all my loved ones into this model forevermore.

  213. Bloggessmas?? Since your new book + party for which I do not have to dress up/put on makeup/pretend to be presentable/pretend to not want to cry, run, or punch someone = best gift ever. Hence, Bloggessmas.

    If work cooperates, I will be there. If it doesn’t cooperate, I may still be there, only I will be the one yelling “No! I am not watching random internet stuff! This is VERY CRUCIAL TO MY WORK PROCESS. Now get out of my office before I stab you!” Although the awesome thing about your party is that no one will actually know I am yelling that. Except my co-workers, and they deserve it.

  214. Cap’t Fantastic’s Taxidermy Snuggle Party!
    This is such an awesome idea!!!! Especially the booze slushies.

  215. I was trying to find just the perfect name. There are so many right ones already suggested. Then I realized that doesn’t matter the name, I’ll most likely forget it anyway and just call it “Jenny’s Internet Party” so that’s my suggestion. It has the added bonus of being used for all sorts of occasions and not just book launching.
    So sign me up to be there. And since my cat will be watching too, do you need her in the number count? Though thinking about it, counting the pets in the numbers makes for a more successful party. Number wise anyway.

  217. I’m looking for a name that wouldn’t be suspicious to the family…”Rory’s Birthday Party” – that sound’s pretty innocent, right? Or, The Furiously Happy Awards Ceremony” – my family flees when I tell them there’s another frickin’ awards show on, so that would do, too.

  218. I wish I could. I’m having surgery the 21st and will probably be in the hospital. 🙁

  221. I second “Rory Rally” per smunder (comment 150;) Also, I think you’re about to break the Internet!

  222. I don’t care what you name it, just bring on blanket fort, the cats, the videos of hamsters eating tiny burritos and the booze slushies!!! #bestpartyever Can’t wait!

  223. Furiously at Home?
    And I’d love to go, but I’m heading to a Foo Fighters concert that night. Have funnnnnnn.

  224. Simply call it the “Furiously Happy Party,” where you can be furious or happy or both! (I’ve always wanted to be furiously happy!) Or what about the “Rah Rah Rory Party”? Put a couple of cheerleader pom-poms in his hands, and he’s good to go! How about the “Let’s Celebrate – Jenny’s New Book Is Finally HERE! Party”? Because I am truly celebrating the release of your new book! 🙂

    And I plan on being there (but I’ll be kinda sweaty since I’ll have just gotten home from the gym….good thing it’s an internet party, right??)! LOL!

  227. I love this idea, but I will be at Didney Worl that week and either too busy or too exhausted to do much internetting. I will be there in spirit and look forward to hearing about wacky shenanigans.

  229. I’ll be attending the fabulous book launch “Let’s pretend we’re Furiously Happy at home w/Jenny Lawson” from the comfort of my own home. Thank you Jenny for making it easy for me to attend, you are awesome.

    I’ll be staying up late for this. Must remember to take a nap that day.

  230. It’s a Furiously Unpantless Party!

    Wait, then that means we’d have to be panted. Kinda defeats the joy of a party which doesn’t require pants.

    I am SO there with or without my pants. My knickers, yes. Pants, no. (Knickers is OK, right?)

    How about Knickers On Pants Off (KOPO). Kinda like BOGO, but not.

    Yeah, I suck at this party naming, too.

  232. The Anti-Party-People Party.
    Party for Party-less People.
    Let’s Party! (Separately)
    Let’s-face-it, we’re-here-for-the-booze-and-the-taxidermy Party
    Best Party Ever (No pants required)
    Furiously Partying…Alone

    So happy for you!

  235. JennyBob NoPants Party? Furiously introverted? The “We all suck at party naming party”? I’ll be there! (at least for the first 1/2 hour, then I go to school)(Where I sit against the left wall and do not talk to anyone)

  236. So many good names, and I can’t choose or come up with best. But this is definitely my kind of party, and I will be there if/while I can.

  237. “the know fear party” or the Agoraphobics Anonymous meeting.

    Agoraphobia literally means fear of the marketplace, and Amazon.com has pretty much assured that you never have to go to a marketplace outside of your house ever again. Maybe Amazon could sponsor the party. “The Amazon party”

  238. No Pants Party ftw!
    I’m guessing your book wont be available in Asia on the 22nd so this is a totally great idea. Thank you! Hope I can read the whole book soon though!
    -Love from the Philippines

  239. I will be there with bells on! Already marked on my calendar! And since you abhor panties, you might get a laugh out of the Mason Williams’ song: The Prince’s Panties. Can’t wait for my pre-ordered book to get here!

  241. On my calendar! What about Introverts Anonymous? Because like we won’t actually BE there so you won’t know who we are? Could be better…

  242. B.Y.O.H (Bring Your Own House) ….no wait then you may end up with a trailer park stacked up a la Ready Player One in your yard. Oh! S.A.Y.O.H Stay At Your Own House Party!

  247. Eight pounds of uncut cocaine party? Works for the store and people already go there from their own homes. Might make for an easier transition to the party.

  250. Thank the light I’m not the only one who hates the word “panties”! It’s a horrible yucky cringe-worthy word.
    Also, I’m in for the party! I like the idea of “No Pants” or “Be at Your Own House Party” or whatever 🙂

  251. Book’s been pre-ordered since you announced it. Wouldn’t miss the party for the world. You make my life brighter.

  252. The “Jesus. How Did I Get Here?” party.

    If it’s via internet, (which is a fabulous idea for all of us, by the way), how will you know that we’re attending? It’s like that saying: if a tree falls in the forest…”

    I’m in.

    Taxidermy Trump and I’ll be on your doorstep.

  253. Oh I believe it is ABOUT to go DOWN!!!! All of my introvert friends are IN….I will bring party favors and after work wine slushees!!!!

  254. This sounds like a blast!
    Chocolate and gravy and boozy slushies for all!
    “Let’s Pretend This Is Happening” seems like a great name for this party (totally my kind of party).

  255. The Unparty. Or UnParty. Un-Party. I’m not sure which use of grammar makes the true meaning of the word come through better… I think I like Unparty best. So that’s my final submission. Unparty. 🙂

  256. Will it be recorded? I can’t make it (Will actually be out of the house. BLEAH!) but would love to be a part…even in tape delay.

  260. I’ll admit, I didn’t read all of the comments, but I didn’t see my idea in any of the ones I did read, the “Furiously Happy I don’t have to go anywhere for this party,” and now I need to check on my baby again…

  264. I thought of “The Furious Happening” before I read it in the comments (I only saw it in the comments because I searched for “furious happening”), so if that ends up winning, can I get a signed audiobook, too? Actually, I take that back. I would settle for that name winning, because I thought of it (separately, after the fact.)

    Other possible names (that aren’t as good as “The Furious Happening”):

    Book Nookie
    The Third Most Amazing Use Of High-Speed Internet Ever
    Let’s Pretend This Party Never Happened
    The Bloggess Tuesday Evening Supershow
    Be There AND Be Square! (Why Not Both?)
    IP 168.256.55.0:1850
    There Will Be Blood – But Don’t Worry, It Will Be Safely Contained Within Individual Bodies
    The First Annual John Stamos Open Invitational
    Friends Of Rory
    Stalkers Union Non-Local Chapter
    Her Majesty Jennifer Lawson’s Royal Trans-Continental Realtime Book Reading Soiree
    Steve
    The Sans-Pants Enhanced Dance and Chants Manse
    The Awesomely Named Gathering That Was Not A Blatant Ploy For A Free Audiobook

  266. I’ve pre-ordered the hardback! (I’m notoriously thrifty). But I just couldn’t wait for a library copy. So excited

    I like Double Unicorn Success Unconference: no trousers required : D

  267. I recently Facebooked: 🎶Ain’t no party like a no pants party ’cause a no pants party🎶 is super comfortable.

    Needless to say, I am super jazzed about this party! And likely very bad at party name ideas… But here we go:

    “No pants, no problem!” “Jenny’s introverted get together” “We’re all friends here, and there” “The party heard around the world” “Outlying companions celebrate books with booze”

  269. The Double Unicorn Success Unconference (No Trousers) sounds AMAZING and I am VERY angry that I will instead be hiding in a corner at a reception for the wife’s work and praying no one talks to me. Your party sounds so much better and wife and I may have to break up because of this.

    Jenny Lawson: Accidental Homewrecker.

  270. The One and Only Furious-For-All Party
    (and don’t come if you are going to be all pissy)

  271. The Furiously Happy unbirthday party!

    Thank you for also hating the word panties! I detest it, and lose respect for anyone that refers to my underwear as “panties”. No one over the age of 5 wears panties!

  272. Sorry didn’t have time to read them to see if someone already suggested this: The Furiously Happy Book Launch Party.
    Book launch parties are supposed to fit their books and this one TOTALLY does.

  275. I don’t have an idea for the name but I will definitely come to your party as long as timezones make it possible (I am in the UK and have to therapy on Wednesday mornings so can’t stay up all night). But also, I have a real physical need to scream really loudly right now and I can’t because it’s 9pm (and pouring with rain so outside is a no-no) and I’ll freak my family out but this feels like a safe place to admit to that kind of oddness so… yeah. Screaming here. Just, silently.

  278. “1st Annual Blanket Fort Invitational and Booze Slushie Virtual Book Launch”. It’s long, but it sounds somewhat classy. And like you have to be invited. So, classy.

  279. “A Book Launch Party in Time and Space”?

    Because timezones and everyone hiding under their own tables around the world, and whatnot.

  281. Another possibility the BYOH Party, or (Bring Your Own House) Party!

    And yes, I will totally be there as long as there is a reminder before hand because my memory is as bad as one of those things with holes in it.

  282. The “We found Rory” party? “Slushies optional”? Oh, oh how about the “Alone together” party? That’s my favorite!

  283. I thought to tie in with the church of Bloggessianism it should be the Furiously Happy Ladies Retreat, since church ladies go on so many retreats, and introverts like to retreat, so win/win!

  287. YES! I would come to a party like that. The after the party is always the best part, like taking off a tight pair of shoes.

    Maybe:
    The “Furiously Happy” Launch After-ish Party for Poopers (But I’m Just Trying To Make Extroverts Feel Better By Referring To People Who Don’t Like Parties as “Poopers”) Party

    Totally succinct.

    Huge congratulations on your new book and launch! I can’t wait to read it! XO

  288. I just unpacked 25 copies of your new book at my library today. Plus I’ll be buying one myself. You’re the best Jenny.

  290. I will be there! I won’t, however, be attending your book reading in Miami. I went to the last one, and probably wet my pants (sorry!) a few times. Anyway, the event was free then, there is a charge this time. The cost of the gas to get there from Ft Myers, buying your book and paying for the event is more than I can handle. I’d be there if I could, but your online book reading sounds amazing!

  291. I am so very in! I would normally worry about being too early, or too on time, or too late, but it wouldn’t matter this time 😀 So excited!

  294. The Return of Blackie – Starring John Stamos and some yogurt Party!
    Please Don’t Sue Us Chuck Palahniuk Book Fighting Club!
    This is madness! No, WE ARE SPARTANS and I thought this was a Halloween Party!
    Encyclopedia Brownout and the Missing Arm Vagina Glove Blowout!
    Fruit of the Loom, Vegetable of my Loins Fete!
    Assoul Train!
    Senior Moments Prom!
    Coffee Klatches Sound Contagious!
    A Fucking Cluster of ClusterFucks!
    I’m So Broke I Can’t Buy Books So I’m Shamelessly Whoring Myself Out To Get A Freebie Pity Party! (That will be the name of my personal soiree)
    Pin The Tail on the Chupacabra!

  295. Trousers Optional Party
    Furiously Frightened of Parties Party
    Let’s Celebrate the Shit out of Jenny’s New Book Party

    Personally, I wouldn’t miss any of these 🙂

  297. I HATE the word, panties, too. After the party can we start a campaign to get rid of it for good?! Please?! An e-signature campaign should be the easiest route!!

    PS can’t wait for the release party, and the new book!!!

  298. What’s worse, “panties” or “moist”? Nevermind not important. 🙂
    How about something completely misleading like “Twilight: The UnVamping of Edward” Book Release party 🙂

  299. “Furious Rory: Pants Optional”? (I know it’s nonstandard for party names to have colons, but colons are of course the most elegant punctuation mark and it’s a simple way to lend a certain je ne sais quoi to the proceedings.)

    “It Doesn’t Take Booze to be Furiously Happy (But Booze Can Help)”?

    “Think of Your Own Damn Party Name”?

    And I’m in. I needed an excuse to cut short my appearance at the work picnic, anyway. “I have to go be alone together with strangers on the internet. Ta ta!”

  302. Oh hell yes, I’m down for this. Furiously happily down for this, i will definitely hang out with my dogs and preferably without pants unless I am working(drat night shift), hence pants might be forced to be mandatory. And I might have to temporarily forgo slushies in that case. I will be joining in spirit and in Pratice as soon as I am off though. Can’t remember if I’m working, I should probably check that, but then again maybe I can claim plausible deniability.

    How about “raccoons are fucking awesome party” that way all the focus is on them not on you, or anyone else?

  305. What about “furiously happy to not have to leave the house to host a furiously happy book launch” party. Then we can all be furiously happy that the stupid oceans between us don’t inhibit us being able to attend and celebrating your book launch with you. We all win 😍😍

  306. Dammit Jenny! We, who live and work on the West Coast, are leaving work when you are having your party! Could you push it back an hour, maybe?

  307. Well crap, I was going to watch but then I did the math for the time difference and realized I am not going to be home. The funniest part about that is I am not going to be home because my cat has a speaking engagement to attend. (I do the talking not the cat but people come to see the cat and not me so it’s HIS engagement) Anyway, it’s funny because I am missing out on your stay at home with the cats book party because my cat has to leave the house. It’s a weird fun world isn’t it?

  308. I’m extroverted, but am not in a book club because I can’t handle the commitment. I plan to be online for this, but cannot make any promises. : )
    How about the “It could be annual, but no pressure United Church of Bloggessianism General Convention of The World”.

  309. I’ve always loved this Natalie Dee comic. Plus, if you used “Ice-cream Antisocial” then we would HAVE to eat ice cream, because it’s IN THE NAME. We’d have no choice really.

  311. I have class so I am super disappointed to miss it – although if you could record it and put it on Youtube, I would be very happy to watch it later and pretend I was there.

    My Idea for your party:
    Furiously You: A Stay as You Are Book Launch Party (#FuYou)
    It’s the in-home party that doesn’t need you be anything other than what you already are in order to have a good time…and if someone doesn’t like it, the hashtag solves that problem.

  313. I will probably be sitting in an airport waiting on a weather-delayed flight. Or sitting on a plane on the runway with a weather-delayed flight. Or I will be driving because my flight was cancelled due to weather. Either way, unless my luck improves and my flight lands on time, I will miss the party. 🙁

    But as for a name… The Launch Party that Never Was
    Or… The Launch Party that Didn’t Happen
    Or… The one where Jenny Throws A Launch Party in her Living Room

    ok I’m terrible at this

  315. Woo-hoo, Tuesday is a much better day than Monday for me.

    Rory Raccoon’s Reader Theatre, in conjunction with Out From Under the Table productions, presents the biggest, best, and quite possibly only book unlaunch party of the year: My House is Your House; As Long as You’re Still in Your House.

    Too long?

    How to Live in Your Own Head, with Taxidermy n@.

    Ah Pittsburghese, how I love/hate thee.

  321. The “You are Home” party, in honor of your recent post and in recognition of the fact that we can all attend this party by staying home. Yay!

  322. I promise to come if Dorothy Barker is a guest. I cannot promise to wear pants. I definitely cannot promise to wear a bra. I am also not nearly creative enough to help think of a name for our party.

  323. I think the “Angora Party” is perfectly acceptable. Rory is probably super soft, and we should be soft with you and blankets are soft and it sounds enough like “agoraphobia” to make people think it’s the same, and also, with all the drinking, we need a soft place to land. Not judging. Bottoms up.

  325. Congrats on your book launch Jenny. My husband bought me the book as an early bday present so I get to meet you when you come to the U of MN bookstore for your signing. This makes me furiously happy, or at least very happy/ Thanks for writing such great stuff and being an inspiration for me.

  326. Once again you rule. There’s a reason you’re the new normal now. And you know you’re going to break the internet right? And as I missed that the first go around I dare not miss it this time. Count me in to whatever the heck your non party book hoorah is. I’ll be there with booze slushy in one hand and Rory in the other.

  327. I am so excited about this book.. I have preordered on itunes and it best start downloading the second it is available or I might do something counter-intuitive such as throwing my iphone on the floor in a mad rage. Ahem. Party sounds awesome, I’m not sure what time it will be in NZ, and am not dependable enough to correctly work it out…
    P.S. Love your work 🙂

  328. love Valerie p’s idea #230…KOPO. Knickers on Pants off. That made me lol at the gym. Literally.

  331. “The Bloggess’ perfect party for people who hate parties because you get to stay at home but you’ll still be at the party and that’s a win/win, plus there’s booze and you don’t have to wear pants OR a bra.”

    It’s a bit wordy for a title. But it would totally draw me in. Actually, just the title “The Bloggess’ perfect party for people who hate parties” would do. I’d be there. And I will. It’s on my calendar! 🙂

  332. Furious Tribal Council
    Interneting Introvert Conference
    Braless and Brave…. At least I would be braless if I attended an internet party from my home

    I don’t know how good the names are, but I am wanting the book!

  334. “Furiously Happy book launch party at Jenny’s, where I don’t have to worry about being cool cuz no-one will see me. 😀”

    It’s on my calendar. Can’t wait

  335. “The Church of Bloggessianism non-annual, non-tent revival and worship” party. Bring your own gravy.

  339. “Launch with Rory”
    Because it almost sounds like lunch which isn’t as scary as parties. And it implies you don’t have to be anywhere specific because Rory is everywhere (and it’s always lunchtime somewhere).

    There’s also a good chance that at least someone is going to build a catapult or rocket to launch Rory, especially if there’s prizes for altitude.

  342. Can’t wait!! I love attending events that don’t require leaving my couch!

    “Comfy Couch Book Launch” party

  343. Rory’s ClubHouse
    (where’s rory? with each and every one of us wherever we are. and he doesn’t wear pants either)

  344. Faking Sanity Party. Can’t wait to read your new book! So excited for your un-party 🙂

  346. How about, “The Furiously Happy Birthday Suit (Just please don’t show us) Party.”

  349. The Wil Wheaton Coalition? Because it’s a play on the word collating, and you had the thing….with the thing…..and the picture…..and the…….never mind

  350. I’m working until 9 on the 22nd (which reminds me to remind my son to remind my dad to tape The Muppets while I’m working). Will I be able to access the party through my phone? I might be able to drop in very quickly while I’m at work (and might just be able to make a few new converts among my pharmacy co-workers if I plan it right). This means that I will, of course, be wearing pants. I don’t think I have a dress-code-appropriate skirt that has pockets big enough for my phone.

  352. I don’t know what we should name our party, but we definitely need our own so-Rory-ty!!!

  355. Well in our house 8:00 is the time the pants usually come off but because this is a very special occasion I’ll make an exception for next Tuesday. With wine in hand minus pants I’ll be there along with my 3 kitties who are almost as excited as I am.

  356. Sounds Awesome! I will be there! I don’t know if this has been suggested yet but the “Jenny and Rory Rock the House” sounds like a great party.

  357. Where’s Rory? He Took My Pants Party.
    I love it. A no-stress, no-driving, I”ll -eat-the-whole-pint-of-ice-cream-if-I-damn-well-want party. Best Party Ever!

  358. This is glorious! I’d like to toss the following titles into the proverbial hat…

    “It’s Not a Full House Party (Unless Uncle Jesse Actually Shows Up.)”

    Or

    “Don’t Knock Mother Fucker, you shouldn’t even be here, it’s an Online Party!”

    Either way, I’m pretty sure my PIC will be in pantsless attendance (although to be honest, she’ll be pantsless, I’ll have on pajama pants but no panties – I hate panties.)

  359. “Knock Knock, motherfucker”?
    “Wine Slushie workshop”?
    “The Undead Anti-defamation League”?

    “Wait, whut?”?

  360. Fans Of Rory Needing Internet to Chat Anonymously To Everyone (FORNICATE)

    Love the idea of an internet party. Will try to be there, but will probably be catching up on Season 8 of Doctor Who on Netflix with the family at that time, but I toast you and your latest success!

  362. When I read Blanket Fort Coalition, I thought it said cotillion. So I think it should be the Blanket Cotillion because then you can either wear a blanket, or be in your blanket fort (or just be in bed).

  364. Let call your party “July Garland’s Trail Mix Intervention & wine slushee brain freeze splinter group delegation (now fortified with even MORE run-on sentences.)” Coincidentally, that’s also the name of my band.

  365. Dude, I am so there! This is gonna be the best. This is the first party I’ve been invited to in ages where I didn’t immediately start freaking out inside my head about being around a bunch of people I may or may not want to be around at the given time.

  367. And this is why I’m sad to be on the other side of the world and most likely at work when this excitement is taking place. Sigh. All the sighs.

  369. Book loving introverts get together
    Let’s all talk about how we don’t talk much at all party
    I love blanket forts you should to
    Run away introverts unite
    Unicorn success club United
    United hedgehogs with blanket forts club
    We like to party quietly with books

    Anyways! Congrats on another wonderful book coming out! I plan to read it asap

  370. I have to work till 6pm Alaska time on Tuesday, then it takes me a half hour to get home, but if the party is still going at that, point, I’ll be there! And I totally agree on the word “panties” being icky. I don’t ever use it if there is any other word I can substitute. I may have managed to go years without saying it. Yeah, so, um, yeah. Anyway, party on, Jenny!

  371. I will totally be there! And my party name suggestion is ‘Camp Get Tough or Die’. (For Christ sake, Lois….)

  372. I bear in mind that 5 pm CST is 3 pm here, so I’d be getting started pretty early on the booze. Fortunately, work has been such a grump-fest for me lately, that might not be a bad thing. I second “Furiously Naked.” Or perhaps “Furiously Introverted.” Or “Furiously Boozy.”

  373. I’ll be there! You could call it “On The Internet, No One Knows You’re a Taxidermied Raccoon! Except Now They Do Because There’s Video.”

    I’m not so good at naming things either.

  374. While you’re destroying the word panties, PLEASE destroy the words moist & ointment. I hate them & they should be banned. Also never, ever put those 3 words we shouldn’t speak of in the same sentence. It’s tragic.

  375. i may crash the party…

    I vote for ‘the furred and the furious’ because that’s how I roll. Always furry, sometimes furious (but not often.)

    Hope all the stuffed ‘hats’ will be there, in case I do stop by… A taxidermist army…

    Congrats…. My book should arrive soon! Yippee!!!!

  376. I don’t know if I can come. I want to. But it’s my brother’s birthday and the Muppets are back on the air! So between the bro, Kermit, and you…I’d have to say the bro, mostly cause there’ll be birthday pie(he’s not a big cake fan), with Kermit and you tied for second.

  377. My childhood blanket fort was under the piano, but I don’t have a piano here so I’ll be on the bed next to the computer with my head covered up. Will Brad Pitt be there? Can all the stuffed deer heads from the den come with me? (Will there be dodge ball?)

  378. can you be too drunk to internet?! Jenny’s First Annual Let’s Pretend This Party Never Happened…which is bound to be what you say the day after 😉

  379. I can’t wait to come to your party! An introvert party where I don’t have to leave my house, and can hang out in my pj’s with a bottle of wine, a blanket, and probably a stuffed animal (because stuffed animals are awesome), sounds like the best party I’ve ever been invited too! Not to mention that you are my favorite person ever, and I know your book is going to be freaking awesome! I think you should name your party, the party with no name, because you are a rebel like that. Also, I can’t think of a name but I will want an audio book lol! Ok I’m done rambling now, I have to go worry about everything I just wrote down.

  381. I was going to start by saying NOOOO, I’m at work then!!! But then after typing it, I went, no wait… she said Tuesday! I’M NOW OFF ON TUESDAYS!! I’m there.

    My blanket fort was my sister’s bed, because we had bunk beds and I had the top one. Now I kind of wish I’d had the bottom one.

    Why are you making me question my bed choices?

    What about STAY ON YOUR SIDE party?

  382. Here are the rules of our book club:

    Wine

    And sometimes we might actually even talk about a book. Sometimes not. Refills are mandatory.

    P.S. My husband calls it “The Coven”

  384. I think I shall call it the “Best Birthday Ever – with the Bloggess and Friends,” because it will be a fantastic way to spend part of that day. Congratulations again on your book, and I look forward to seeing you (in only the slightly creepy fangirl squee sort of way) on release day and at the book signing in Houston!

  386. Sept 22 is my actual birthday! I’m totally coming to your virtual party! Thank you for being awesome.

  391. Hmmm, maybe

    Fuck Getting Dressed for In Person Parties Party?
    or
    Be Glad You Can’t See My Lap

  392. An Internet party for introverts should be interesting. I imagine an hour with everybody sitting at their computer, hands poised over the keyboard, waiting for somebody else to be the first to write something.

  394. You could call it “Hermits United” and then say the Doctor might show up. He is almost as unpredictable as John Stamos.

    “Hermits united. We meet up every ten years, swap stories about caves. It’s good fun, for a hermit.” ~Doctor Who

  397. how about “The Panties droppers party” or the “The “Introverts Anonymous Meeting”? Let’s all have panic attacks together, all over the world and set some sort of Guinness Books of records!

  400. I’m voting for “Sin Pantalones Fiesta” (because – cheese dip) but I forgot to see what comment # that was to give credit to the awesome person who came up with it. I’m going back to look now. I’m totally coming if I can do the change over to EST which I think someone all ready did – and I hope they’re right. I’m still trying to come to Dayton… Dayton (smh), why Dayton (no offense Dayton, I’m sure you’re a perfectly lovely suburb)? There are Indi book stores in Cleveland – I think… shoot, are there? Damn. I pre-ordered… we love you, love the comments, love it all.

  401. Party names: Hide and Seek Happy Hour? If You Give a Stuffed Raccoon a Wine Slushie…? Thanks for hosting a party for those of us who are overwhelmed by crowds. See you on the 22nd!

  402. I would totally and cmpletely attend. Always and forever.

    This is probably a bad idea, but I am in danger of eviction, and you guys are just…the best at figuring things out. I’ve gone through all the sources I can think of. Can someone give me some ideas?

    gofundme.com/xa8ge3u

  404. Found it – credit to Lauren Soto – comment #72 for Sin Panalones Fiesta. Well done! Everyone can wear sombreros!! ooooo at least get a mini sombrero for Rory – pretty please with cheese dip on top. I wonder if Amazon sells tiny sombreros? hmmmm

  406. I like the earlier mention of “Come As You Are Party.” It fits with the message you send out.
    If not that, then how about “The No Pantaloon Party” or “The Party Not About John Stamos.”

  407. Beyonce’s furiously happy cat dance party with taxidermy guest stars who may or may not dance

  408. “I’m Not Wearing Any Pants”

    It’s a statement of fact, straight forward, can be said at a drive thru or book launch.

  409. Flight Club. Because adrenaline prompts the “fight or flight” response, and since there’s already a Fight Club you should have a Flight Club for people who want to flee…on second thoughts that gives the impression that people should run away from your reading, and there’s probably already a Flight Club.

  410. You could call it the “On the Outside Looking In” party, or the “BYOB Cause you’re at your house anyway” party. The “I love you all but please keep your distance” celebration. “PJs, a Book, Brews & You” ? Regardless I’ll be there! Loved the first book & can’t wait for this one!!!

  412. Hi Jenny! We are reading your book for book club – starting next week of course! Now, you say you don’t know the rules about book club so here you go – a brilliant short film from my brilliant writer/director friend Kate Yorga that will clear up ALL your questions, or maybe not…I hope you love it!

  414. How about the “Happily Furious” party where we’ll all be furiously happy in our pajamas.

  417. The 2nd (Not Really) Annual Midnight Raccoon Rodeo.

    Duh!

    And I will absolutely be there for the launch, the concert in your bathroom was too much fun for me to risk missing another awesome Bloggess party. Just to be clear though, I have been promised cats, and I will hold you to that promise.

  418. worst orgy ever = WOE.

    I will miss your party because its a party and meeting strangers is stressful. And what would I say after all these pithy witty comments. But I am really excited for you, I like your blogging and tour last book, and I wanna read your new book, and i admire your courage to meet your fans. Pretend Zi said sll that at 7:00 CST at you party. 😄

  419. “The Furiously Happy (to only be under the table if I’m drunk) release party”

    So hoping to be there. Work may be interfering. 🙁

  420. I’m in – can we get the booze slushie recipe so we can all drink along? I mean, I’ll drink regular old wine if I have to, but a booze slushie sounds way better.

  421. I would love to see your audience (cats & dog) listening attentively, so hopefully the camera will show them once in awhile during your reading.

  424. I just realized that my 6:00 central Debt Law class next week is scheduled to be online only! HUZZAH!

    As far as names:
    “Raccoon Jazz Hands Spectacular”
    “The Boone Hill Slushy Summer Send-off”
    “Three Sheets to the Wind”
    “A Totally Professional (Trowser-less) Party for the Release of My Totally Professional Literarary Assessment of Mental Healthcare and Social Development in Modern Day America.”

  425. I like Phaedra’s name, “Furiously Happy Hour”.
    May I suggest “Furiously Happy Hour(s)”?
    An hour is not enough.

  426. Call it whatever you want. I will be there! And why isn’t your audio book being released on vinyl?! Then I could listen to it at home on my couch and curl up in a ball to laugh and/or cry?! Do you know how difficult it is to do that in a car on the way to work?!

  427. Ah! I want to come to a party I can go to from home, without real pants and no small talk required. But I don’t have internet in my home (long story, slightly stone-agey) and so I would have to go out in public to go to the party which surely defeats the purpose. I’m so conflicted now. I might be there, it’ll depend on how uncomfortable I’m feeling with the world on Tuesday.

  429. I have no name suggestions that haven’t been thought of already and trying to be more creative than the 427 commenters before me is making my stomach hurt so I’ll just RSVP… I can’t wait for the party!! Parties I can attend in my pjs, in bed, with a glass of wine, are the only parties I can imagine looking forward too.

  430. I think this is a perfect time to have the first meeting of the Church of Bloggessianism, so you should call it the Furiously Happy Gathering of the Church of Bloggessianism.

  433. Panty Destroyers Unite? ….and I’m too lazy to scroll through all the comments to see if that was already taken. But I’ll totally attend, because I’m an introvert who never leaves the house! 😀

  434. How about “The Furious Launch Party of the Shy One and/or Rory,” because … well, isn’t the name self explanatory? Or wait. Maybe it should be “… by the Shy One and/or Rory,” unless you plan on launching yourself and/or Rory at us, which might be … fun and furious! And completely unexpected … bwahhhahhhaha! Whatever you want to do, Jenny. You can cry if you want to … it’s your party! Can’t wait!

  436. I will be there! Or here! And I’ll be time traveling through the wibbly wobbly stuff since I’ll be joining in at 5 here and it’ll be 7 there.

    How about: It’s My Party and I’ll Call it What I Want To!

    We could have a sing along and everyone can shout out their favorite party name. Would the rest of us sing: It’s your party but I’ll call it what I want to?

  437. What you’re trying to set up is a meeting with detached contact, that’s also a Come-As-You-Are party, so the Detached Contact Come-As-You-Are Furiously Happy Launch Party. Or the Come-As-You-Are Furiously Happy Detached Contact Launch Party. Or, considering that we’ll all be at homes, mostly, with our pets, the Pet’s Allowed, Come-As-You-Are Furiously Detached Happy Launch Contact Party.

  438. Okay, it’s long but so very alliterative =)
    Book Launch and…Penultimate Pajama Party for Partiophobics, with Popcorn! Pretzels! Peanuts!
    Pina Coladas!! and Pepe the Prawn!!! ( because I’m assuming that John Stamos will be otherwise engaged).

  439. yeeeeeeesssss! I will be there.. otherwise where will I learn “how to french braid a dog “???

  440. Nikita the super puppy and I will both be attending. Nik loves parties, but is rarely invited to them, sadly.

  442. Nope, it didn’t work. Maybe this will:

    “facebook.com — slash — photo.php?fbid=10153776159042214&set=a.10150096226192214.304812.522747213&type=1&theater”

  444. “Trousers Optional” party, which avoids the pants/panties issue. I would totally go to that party, but as that is “Texas Time” I may be at work, Poo!!

  445. The first inaugural meeting of the Insiders Club. In that we all want to stay inside but not totally by ourselves and it sounds like we know things the rest of the world doesn’t. If you count the faceless old woman that lives in your house you’ve already hit the goal! Hooray. 🙂

  446. Huh? Taxidermy Tits? tits, this, they’re so close…. Did anyone else read it that way? Just me?
    I thought whee… – woops, where’s the rest of ‘er?
    I totally vote for Furiously Happy Hour.

  448. I’ll be there, but only if I can bring the salsa. I mean it would be seriously rude to show up empty handed. Maybe it’s the Launch of Virtually Everything? I like it because not only does it cover all the bases, the acronym is LOVE. <ahhhhh!> <3 <3

  450. Okay my first ever post! As an introvert I think the appropriate title is “I think you’re great but I don’t think we’re ready to meet in person yet”. I adored your first audiobook, anxiously awaiting this one 🙂 I’ll attend whatever online party you set up!

  451. Furiously Happy Blanket Fort Homecoming

    You get the book title, the blanket fort, and you can pun on being at home AND on the Southern church service meaning of homecoming for the Church of Blogessianism. 🙂

    Good luck, Jenny. You’ll be amazing, even if you hide under the table.

  452. Sounds like a “Polish [drinking] party” to me…everybody arrives, gets their own favorite bottle of tipple, and retires to his/her own room. Apparently Poles are notoriously surly and/or introverted, especially when drinking.

  454. How about The Church of Blogessianism’s First Raccoon Christening? Whatever it is called, I’m in, assuming I can figure out what time that is Eastern! Post a reminder on Monday?

  455. I totally hate the word, “panties” too — patronistic nonsense! I nominate The Underroos Party as the name.

  456. I will absolutely be there – well, in spirit, meaning online, because I don’t actually want to go anywhere away from my house. Which brings me to my favorite title that you already suggested – The Assembly for the Advancement of Not Assembling Anyplace We Have To Make Smalltalk!!! This is the bomb name and I vote for it. It’s accurate and also really long, which I like. Because when we say it, people who don’t get it will stop listening and go away to their disco or cocktail party or wherever those outgoing, smalltalk-talking people go.

  457. I will totally be there….virtually. This is awesome! I get to go to a book launch party for one of my favorite authors! Normally I just plan to go and then can’t find a sitter or have something else that doesn’t involve hordes of people in a crowded space. I’d like to cast my vote for “Furiously Happy Hour w/ Jenny Lawson” for the name. 🙂

  459. First off, this is an awesome idea. I am in bed recovering from major surgery for the foreseeable future, so this is the kind of party I can do!! For the name, how about The Anti-social Social

  460. I am making Apple Brie Bites and having bottle of chardonnay. Don’t judge. I may still be in my pajamas since it is my telecommuting day.

  461. “Kittens and Taxidermy: the Furiously Happy book release”
    Tagline: PJs & pillow forts highly recommended.

    Regardless of the name, I’ll be there.
    With cute jammies.
    <3 ya J!

    -Krista @kihten

  462. I am SO EXCITED about this party! I will bring my rabbit. She can admire the taxidermy – unless there are taxidermied rabbits. I’ll cover her eyes for those.

  463. I totally want to be there! It will however depend on the parental units’ willingness to deal with my children for a bit. No good names to suggest, although I liked many of the ones already posted.

  466. Or – “you can pants if you want to, you can leave your pants behind, because your friends wear pants and if they like pants, then they’re no friends of mine?” Ok Maybe a bit long

  468. No suggestions for the name, but I definitely want to attend. And it’s perfect – I have knee surgery on Monday, so it’s the one type of party I would be attending! My three cats and I will be there – unless I’m all sleepy on the pain meds. 🙂

  469. You ask would I attend such a party? Let me answer as Mr. Big often did when questioned by Carrie Bradshaw in “Sex in the City”: ‘ab-so-f×÷kin-lutely!’

  473. Ooooh oooh how about the Flight Club”? Cuz sometimes we all want to take flight from what upsets us?
    And damn damn damn I am scheduled to work Tuesday night. 🙁 will the party be put on YouTube? Please?!? Cuz not all of us can come, even though I really want to damn it!

  474. Please please please record your party to put on YouTube. I have to work Tuesday night. From 2:30-10:15. But I really really want to see your reading. I’m begging here, Jenny….PLEASE?

  476. And how about Flight Club? Cuz each of us wants to take flight from what rattles us at one time or another…

  477. I liked “Be There or Get Stuffed” which was a suggestion above. Oh, wait. Are we not on to the voting phase, yet? Also: CAN’T WAIT! And: some of us (your fans) are crazy (in a good way) extroverts. Depression lies, but it doesn’t discriminate …

  480. Oh God, now I have to figure out how 7pm Central time translates to Eastern time!! Am I an hour earlier or later? THE PRESSURE IS TOO MUCH!!! I might just have to go to it and wait around for a while until everybody else shows up.

  481. I would totally attend a party called “Furiously Happy in our Blogessianism Blanket Chapels.”

  482. So I translate this to gangster with gizoogle. I think you’ll be pleased with the results:
    Yo, so. I be a gangsta yo, but y’all knew dat n’ mah book comes up next week n’ I’m 50% buckwild n’ 70% terrified n’ 100% not shizzle how tha fuck math works. Normally when a book comes up you gotz a funky-ass big-ass launch jam up in a funky-ass big-ass hood n’ big-ass playas come n’ then I gots a funky-ass big-ass panic battle n’ mah playas wandaz round bustin a funky-ass big-ass deal bout tha fact dat tha lyricist won’t come up from under tha table (truth) n’ that’s why dis time mah editor agreed ta let me have mah FURIOUSLY HAPPY launch jam right here up in mah doggy den wit tha dopest playas eva n’ shit. My fuckin cats, n’ you can put dat on yo’ toast. And you, biatch. Da straight-up playas whoz ass helped mah crazy ass write dis book n’ whoz ass often have tha exact same fears bout leavin they house. EVERYONE WINS. So, yo ass is officially invited ta mah doggy den (via the internet) on launch dizzle fo’ a readin n’ funk n’ ridiculousness. It’ll be dis Tuesday, September 22nd at 7p central. It’ll probably last a hour, or until we git bugged out or too faded ta internet. Or if you don’t give a fuck bout lookin all up in mah grill you can join up in on twitta rockin tha hashtag #FH (short fo’ “Furiously Happy”).

    CLICK HERE AND BOOKMARK FOR THE LINK TO WHERE THE PARTY WILL BE.

    But I need a name fo’ all dis bullshit. I was callin it “Da Agoraphobia Party” but I thought playas might misunderstand, n’ then I thought maybe “Introverts United” but dat sort of already exists on a t-shirt I own (INTROVERTS UNITE! But separately. And at yo’ own houses) n’ dat seems like cheating. Then I thought maybe “Da No Pants Party” cuz tha pimped out thang bout stayin home while attendin a jam is dat no one knows you don’t have baggy-ass pants on yo, but then I remembered dat up in tha UK “pants” means “panties” n’ 1) I don’t want ta git a “no pantizzles party” cuz ew. And 2) I don’t give a fuck bout tha word pantizzles so much dat I want it destroyed. Y’all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I wanna destroy panties. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Jizzy. That came up wrong. How tha fuck did I git here, biatch?

  487. “Bob.”

    I would LOVE to come, it sounds perfect! (Especially since I can’t make your most-local-to-me tour stop. …Unfortunately I also cannot make this party, either (with or without pants :().)

  489. What about naming the party:
    Furiously Happy’s Fortuitous Happening? (#FHFH)
    I’m so excited that I can hardly wait!!!

  491. Did you know those pill-bottle-keychains are considered deadly weapons by the State of Tennessee? You can sharpen the edge of the bottle where the cap screws on and jab it into somebody’s soft bits. Apparently. I assume. Not that I’ve ever tried – that idea just came to me upon hearing that my co-worker wasn’t allowed to bring her chemo medicine into the jury box because the possibility of being deathstabbed with two inches of metallic blue aluminum wielded by a cancer patient is TOTALLY A THING TO BE SCARED OF, NORMAL PEOPLE.

    That said, you should name your party Normal People Not Deathstabbing You With Their Weaponized Pill Keychains.

  492. I think it should be the “Webinar for Wayward Wordsmiths” alliteration plus a pun on www because it is online.

    I would love to attend the whatever it is. 🙂

  493. I’m so excited that you’re having a boom launch I can attend! Woot! Hooray for not leaving the house, not making small talk, and not having to juggle a toddler in a public space while he gets bored and ruins my wine slushy buzz. 🙂

  494. You probably want to avoid using the word orgy – My brother wrote a post about stumbling across a hobo porn stash as a kid and all of those words, together, got us blocked by every upstanding business with an HR department. We may also be on a watch list.

  495. Oh no! Not only can I not go to a live book launch (not coming to Victoria BC Canada – you’re forgiven), but I cannot watch it on the Internet! I’m starting a French class, because if I’m sending my kid to French immersion school, I should probably learn it as well. Even though it’s a class with other people. That’s how much I love my kid. Or hate us both. This logic is broken.

    Anyway, will it be recorded so I can watch later, even though I won’t be able to participate?

  496. The Semiannual Slartibartfast Appreciation Shindig (bring your own mice; stuffed or otherwise)

  499. Furiously Anxious? Anybody who’s had depression or any type of anxiety or the like knows how this feels. This sort of strange amalgamation of sensations: rage, sadness, racing heart, aching all over, mania, etc. Anyway, I can’t attend your party, and that puts me in the massively disappointed category; I work on Tuesday nights. However, I stayed up until 9:15 am yesterday (I’m a night owl; it was really hard) to be first in the virtual line to purchase a ticket for your Nashville book signing. That makes me both nervous and happy at the same time! (Also, please tell me you’ll hang out with me. I’m a “Doctor Who” fan. I have depression, anxiety, OCD, trichotillomania, and dermatillomania, and I’m a Level I to II on the NSGCD Clutter-Hoarding scale. I’m cool. I swear.)

    P.S. The Copernicus Connection (or Caucus)? The Juanita the Weasel Shindy?

  503. Perhaps, “Proceedings of the 14th annual convention of certified tax accountants. Motherfucker.” Don’t ask me why. It just had a ring to it. Maybe I have Tourette’s. Probably not, but maybe if I practice. Douche banana.

  506. I keep imagining Victor’s reaction if a couple hundred people don’t read the bit about this being online and show up at your house with no pants on.

  507. I preordered two signed copies. One for me and one for my sister.

    Can you make some duct tape? I need to wrap my sisters copy in duct tape.

  508. For the Internet illerate, what do I have to do to be there? Count me in, if I can figure out how, and what time zone you are in.

  509. The Organization for Agoraphobic Glorification Party?
    The Furiously Happy Not to Meet You Party?
    Voyeuragoraphobiapalooza?

  510. Has anyone suggested Flight Club? We don’t fight, we flight! Because we’d rather be hanging on the safety of our own place. Trousers are optional!

  512. I haven’t ever heard of anyone else hating the word panties like I do. Such a relief… I just thought that was “my” thing. There are a lot of words that I hate and would like to do away with. Let’s call it “Anti-Panties Party” or ” Do away with Panties Party”. Oh well… “Bloggess’s first Un-Nightmarish Book Party”.

  513. I would come. Really. But now that you added in the Trump bit, I am indeed worried about alcohol poisoning. So, in the interest of my health, I have to decline. Although I hope some day I actually meet you at a real party. With panties on, of course:).