depression lies – The Bloggess

Tell me it’s going to be okay.

In about an hour I am going to be high off my tits getting a ketamine booster for my depression treatment and I’m having one of those days where I’m certain everything is going off the rails and that everyone hates me and I know this is all just my brain lying to me butContinue reading “Tell me it’s going to be okay.”

Oh. There I am.

If you’ve been reading here you know I’ve been in a massive depression the last few months and that I’ve been doing ketamine injections to try to pull myself out and (KNOCK ON EVERY PIECE OF WOOD) I actually think it’s working. Today I went through and answered all of the emails that I’ve gottenContinue reading “Oh. There I am.”

The first bloom. Or last bloom. Fuck, I don’t know. It’s a bloom. Let’s just leave it at that.

So tonight I’m going in for my 5th ketamine treatment for depression and I know some people really enjoy getting just off-their tits high but personally I enjoy a little bit until I fall into another dimension because I’m always sure I’m going to be stuck there forever but I’ve just found that if IContinue reading “The first bloom. Or last bloom. Fuck, I don’t know. It’s a bloom. Let’s just leave it at that.”

I apologize to any of you who don’t exist anymore because I was too high.

This week I started ketamine treatments for my depression and if I wasn’t depressed I would write a lot more about that but my depression means that my brain is bleh and I’m exhausted so instead I’ll just say that it involves a dozen injections of psychedelic drugs over three weeks that….I don’t know…makes yourContinue reading “I apologize to any of you who don’t exist anymore because I was too high.”

I’m complicated so this post has two titles: “SO EXCITED TO BE SICK” and also “What to read in February”

You know how I’ve been feeling like shit lately and I’ve been that sort of exhausted that is either “definitely dying” or “clinically depressed” and I can’t make myself get up and my brain is a brick and I lay down on the floor and think, “if only I could stop breathing for a littleContinue reading “I’m complicated so this post has two titles: “SO EXCITED TO BE SICK” and also “What to read in February””

It’s okay to not be okay

Hey. It’s okay if you’re struggling right now. You are not alone. I’m not sure if that helps or not, but personally I struggle a bit over the holidays and it can be easy to compare yourself to the people who seemed to had their shit together and didn’t spend Christmas morning yelling “Hello?” toContinue reading “It’s okay to not be okay”