Real questions that keep me up at night, part 809

me:  I can’t sleep.

Victor: Why?

me:  Because pretty much everyone in the world calls pineapples “ananas” or something similar, except for America but why?  I assume it’s because pineapples look like pine cones on the outside? But they aren’t like apples on the inside. They’re more like oranges. Why don’t we call them pine-oranges?

Victor:  Well now I can’t sleep either.

I stole this image from 9gag but I'm fairly certain they stole it from someone else so fair enough.

I stole this image from 9gag but I’m fairly certain they stole it from someone else, so fair enough.


And now, the weekly wrap-up:

Fabulous graphic by @wedrawtweets

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):


This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Rocky Mountain Essentials, a family-owned company that creates all natural health & beauty products. “We believe in three things; amazing customer service, fair prices and the producing products from the highest quality ingredients.  Most products manufactured and package in the USA, and US shipping is free for orders over $20.”  Plus, their instagram is freaking awesome and lightly sprinkled with kittens.  Just saying.

125 replies. read them below or add one

  1. We call them pineapples here in Australia. It’s Australia Day soon so pineapples will feature prominently in desserts!

    Gary Lum recently posted How to make super delicious roast beef.

  2. The question that has kept me up at night for like a decade: (HP nerd alert!) Could you use a dementor to destroy a horcrux?

  3. Now I have that Muppet song stuck in my head but they are singing Anana na na.

  4. Bananas was already in play, and go big or go home! I’m guessing that’s why pineapple.

  5. Then what the heck is pina as in pina colada.

  6. Here’s what keeps ME up at night: What REALLY happened to all Ben Cartwright’s wives?

    notquiteold recently posted The Beauty Parlor.

  7. True story: Until I was an adult, I thought pineapples grew on some kind of palm tree. Another true story: So did all my friends. All of us with advanced degrees. Just not in botany.

    Tragic Sandwich recently posted Kindness.

  8. I think it has something to do with putting de lime in de coconut.

    emrohrer recently posted Ya know what would make this trip more authentic? A pair of assless chaps. .

  9. If you want something delicious, try pineapple dipped in caramel. If it has another name like caramananas, I don’t know it.

    Janet Coburn recently posted The Power of the Purr.

  10. Great, now I won’t be able to sleep…
    Thanks, Jenny.

  11. When I was little I thought pineapples were apples that tasted like pine. I refused to eat them.

  12. Why does pretty much every other language else call Germany a version of “Deutschland” but English? I

  13. I call them “Good With Vodka” which is pretty much how I categorize everything.

    RachRiot recently posted Lose Friends Now- Ask Me How!.

  14. 15
    Ergonomic Cat

    New pot reminds me of New Coke.

  15. But —- what about bananananas ?? we have to say pineapple cuz the ananananas sound was taken by banananananas. ( oblique reference to Discworld for people who aren’t familiar)

  16. We call them Piña in Chile 🙂

  17. “What is this?”
    “Those are NOT bananas. Hmm I guess I need to name it.. Pine… something. Pinefruit Naaah. Pineapple. PERFECT”.

  18. Questions that keep me up at night:- Does thinking a human shagging a centaur is gross make me racist?

  19. To paraphrase Shakespeare: An ananas by any other name would smell as sweet.

  20. Hmmm. In Spanish in most places I’ve been it’s called “piña” and in Brazilian Portuguese it’s “abacaxi”, so English isn’t the only odd man out.

  21. En Espanol: Pina. Lo siento mucho

  22. I think someone already mentioned it but Pina in Spanish means Pineapple. I do know that ananas in Italian is Pineapple but other than that I’m not so sure how accurate that list is?

    Donna recently posted INGREDIENTS LIST.

  23. The bigger question is why some people like pineapple on pizza and some people think it’s gross. Is it different in countries that call them ananas? And why is ananas so close to bananas? Did people just run out of ideas when they were naming things?

    educationalmentorship recently posted My Week 68: First Aid Fun, Please Cyberstalk Me.

  24. I never knew this, you are so full of “useless” information…love it…

    rlstambaugh recently posted “Respect”….

  25. 26

    All I know is that I’m allergic to them now, dang it. meanders away, cursing the multiple food allergies

  26. I like that attitude. Not caving to peer pressure 👊

    kay recently posted Schadenfreude.

  27. Working Mothers called us “rabid”. That’s new.

  28. Now I’ll be up all night wondering what happened to Ben Cartwright’s wives. Thanks notquiteold.

  29. 30
    April Woolley

    Now I’ll be up all night wondering what happened to Ben Cartwright’s wives. Thanks notquiteold.

  30. Melissa #13, that’s not true though.

    Russian: germaniya
    Spanish: alemania
    Polish: Niemcy
    Greek: germania
    French: allemagne
    Finnish: saksa (like Saxon)
    Danish: tyskland (that on is like Deutschland)
    Czech: Německo

  31. 32

    That sounds too much like Bananas and I’d always be confused.

  32. In Mandarin, pineapples are called bo1luo2. The Hanyu Pinyin “o” is more of an “aw” sound than what Americans think of when they think of an “o.” Plecodict says that it means “trailing spinach,” more or less, while Google Translate gives me “spinach radish.” So there’s that.

    pepperjackcandy recently posted Northern Illinois Destinations: The Art Institute of Chicago, Chicago, Illinois.

  33. Well, shit! Now I’m afraid of pot — and The Jetsons. Thanks a lot, Jenny! 😉

  34. offers some explanation:-)

  35. Interesting that the Spanish version has an accent on the last a … weird.

    I always thought it was “” as well … the more you know!

  36. Dang, I wanted to see and hear the rest of the song. It was pretty awesone!

  37. Here’s a thought to keep you awake – what’s bigger, the Internet or space?

  38. Perhaps the original intent was to have banana coladas, but someone got confused. Also, fyi, you can cut off the top of a pineapple, plant it in soil, and it will grow a pineapple on top once every two years. I have a Filipino friend who is growing a pineapple in his living room. We are attempting this, because obviously we must.

  39. so basically at some point someone said, “Gosh! I have to name this long yellow fruit. Dang it, I just named ananas last week. Let’s just stick a ‘b’ on it and call it them bananas.” Laziest jerk ever.

  40. You may already know her, but if not… seems like a great fit for you.

  41. Gangsta Granny sprayed two cans of air refreshener after the cabbage soup did “a little encore”. The scents were Pine and Apple. She wanted to be posh and make pineapple.

  42. Congratulations on your Publishers Weekly award. My husband and I are enjoying the audio book as we drive doing errands together. I caught him checking images of you out online, he must like you. LOL

    Jenny Gargruella recently posted on edgewalking.

  43. I haven’t slept through the night since the millennium.

    Sheila Blanchette recently posted DRIVEN: An Innkeeper’s Journal.

  44. You try saying ananas and then say pineapple – crisis averted I say!

  45. My husband is from the Czech Republic and he says its ananas there too and it sounded to me like he said “bananas.” That got me thinking well then what’s a banana called? I typed in “banana in Czech” which returned results like Free Banana Porno Movies. Huh. If not for your post I would probably never know banana porn was a thing.

    Kelly recently posted The Nerve Reawakening.

  46. I am going to call them Jeffrey from now on.

    Michelle recently posted But For You.

  47. Well, I was deeply saddened that your 2016 calendar had come out so late. I mean, January’s almost over. But then I saw I could make it a 2017 calendar, and the light came back on. I mean, how cool that I’ll have next year’s calendar 11 months early! Thanks, Bloggess!

  48. You find the weirdest, coolest stuff. Also, I thought pineapple was “pina” in Spanish (with a tilde on the n.. my computer won’t let me add it because gr)

  49. 50
    Linda Hanchett

    What about grapefruit?? For years I thought it was Great Fruit, which would make more sense. They are great = big. They are nothing like grapes!!!!

  50. I ‘m not supposed to ask my husband questions like that, anymore.

  51. Pine-apple was originally the old English word for pine cones. When the tropical fruit was discovered, Limeys thought it resembled a pine cone on the outside. Same in Spanish – piña means “pine cone” as well. The ananas was the original Native American word for the fruit (in Native Tupi tribes language) and meant “excellent fruit”, which it sure is!

  52. Tala 🙂 I KNEW it! I always thought there was something fishy going on between the pinecones and the pineapples! (We say ‘pinecone’ in one word in Oregon, spellcheck!)

  53. Pineapple, ananas. Potato, pom de terre. You know. We do what we want. Cuz ‘Merka.

  54. Totally off subject but I have to Thank you, Jenny! I just had to drive thru a nerve wracking low visibility snow squall for about 50 miles and instead of freaking out & getting all stressed, I took a Xanax and listened to “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” for the 3rd time! It got me home safe & with a smile on my face! You are awesome & now that I’m safely home I am exhausted, but probably won’t be able to sleep as I wonder about pineapples and if Ben Cartwright was secretly a serial wife killer??

  55. Oddly enough, there I a song by Lorne Green called The Ponderosa. It tells the story of what happened to Ben Cartwright’s wives.

  56. I’ve started to judge these “Best Of” lists by whether or not Furiously Happy is included – because if it isn’t, clearly they haven’t read it and their research can’t be trusted.

    The giraffe video is both mesmerizing and hilarious. How does something like that even happen?

  57. I was wondering what my 3am Sunday night/ Monday morning wandering mind topics might include (other than the general suckiness of the pending Monday), and here you have provided some subject matter. Pine. Apple.

    fillyourownglass recently posted Unpinned: A Shout-out to Less Than Crafty Moms.

  58. 60

    ::put on linguistic hat::
    Apple use to refer to all round fruit or veggies. This is why the French word for potato translates as ‘apple of the earth’. The ‘pine’ in pineapple is because it looks similar to a pinecone, and apple is because of the apple reason I mentioned.
    ::takes of linguistic hat:
    Languages are so strange.

  59. AAAHHHH!!! A video I sent you made it into the blog! I just died from sheer happiness and validation! LOL I feel much more important than I should right now. Thanks Jenny!

  60. Do you seriously think that only America calls them pineapples? You are aware that there are other English-speaking countries in the world…?

    (Sure. But I know enough about those countries to know that we don’t always use the same words for things. ~ Jenny)

  61. I don’t care what you call them. Put that shit in my piña colada and everything will be juuuuuust fine.

  62. You’re exactly right with it being related to pinecones. At the time, pinecones were called pineapples (“apple” being a general term for any fruit, not the specific fruit we call an apple today). Since the fruit resembled pinecones, it was given the same name. (Notice that in French, they still call some types of pinecones “pommes de pin,” literally “pine apples,” just as they call potatoes “pommes de terres,” or “earth apples.”)

  63. Help me. I’m not a blogger.I love you and
    your friends, but I am older than many of you and I don’t know how to do anything
    except read all this stuff. I need that Frantically happy raccoon. please help. diann. I own a restaurant. .I’m a cook not a computer expert.Would someone tell me how to talk to you without so much hassle. They don’t think I exist. Maybe I don’t.

  64. drew #31 – the Russian word for “German” is “nemeshki”, it literally means “mute” or “dumb” (as in unable to speak). The Russians and Germans have been not-getting-along for longer than they’ve had a written language!

    Although “Germanski” or some variation may be used to refer to the modern country, been a while since my Russian classes.

  65. If you like Humans of New York,have you seen Felines Of New York.

  66. the french call potatoes apples of the earth. terres du pomme. or earth apple or something like that. maybe that’s just the trend? add an apple into delicious food names. oh, now i see a more elegant and researched comment above me. never mind.

  67. maybe the guy happens to be pining for apples.

    deliriouspancake recently posted “Sheltered”.

  68. yeah dont do the edibles. but the medical stuff. the cbd which stands for cannabidiol. that shit is amazeballs. i have gone off all my meds. just a tiny bit of that and anxiety….gone. depression…..lifted just enough to cope. insomnia….gone. pain…..gone. it is a freaking crime that stuff isnt legal all over the place.

  69. In Spain, they’re pinas with funny “n”. Which is the same word they use for pine-cone.

  70. In Brazil they’re called “Abacaxi”. I don’t if it’s the same in Portugal. I had never head of “anana”!

  71. Pineapple tip:
    1) Take one pineapple
    2) Cut off top
    3) Scoop out middle
    4) Add (ie pack with) as much soft dark brown sugar as you can.
    5) Carefully pour in as much white rum as you can (overproof if you can get it); 1/2 a bottle is a kind of minimum.
    6) Replace top and affix with elastic bands
    7) Wrap in big sock or similar (not plastic naturally)
    8) Hide in back of cupboard/larder for about 3-4 weeks
    9) Retrive
    10) Slice
    11) Eat
    12) fall over.

  72. I think it’s odd that oranges are the only fruit that I know of named after their color. And it’s not even that they are the only orange fruit.

  73. This is fun. Led me to a link with some answers (that might put you to sleep!):

    Kathleen recently posted Spool of Blue.

  74. Love this.

  75. My kid asked me about this just a couple of days ago! I had no idea what to tell her.

  76. Another reason to be an insomniac!

  77. I think I will invest in that stationery company:). And buy a lifetime supply. And then write notes while eating pineapple.

    candidkay recently posted Just keep swimming.

  78. Additional weird and only tangentially connected information:
    In French, pinecones are called “pomme de pin”, which means apple from the pine. Pineapple.

  79. I’ve wondered this exact same thing. I’ve always felt the pineapple was misnamed.

    Catherine recently posted In Honor of Martin Luther King, JR..

  80. I had left my great pineapple story here but the wifi kicked me out and now I am too lazy to repeat it…But you are fun to read as always. 🙂

  81. If you like Humans of New York, you might like Felines Of New York.

  82. I moved to Panama last year…locals call them piñas. No one calls them ananas here. They lied. Except in Argentina and Uruguay, according to my Spanish-English dictionary.

  83. I believe you made that addyeB person’s site crash lol.

  84. Grapefruits don’t taste anything like grapes, either!

  85. Early English explorers called things whatever the hell they wanted, too, really. And the Pineapple was, in fact, considered a fair blend of pine cone and apple (oranges were extra special in the 16th century, so not to be confused with anything else). Also, this poor guy (in England) was known as a cameleopard (get it?):

  86. Pineapples are much more like pinecones than bananas. So clearly the rest of the world needs to change.
    meow meow meow

  87. I’m starting to get the impression that everything looks like an apple to the French.

  88. As a die-hard stationer, I’m slightly offended you don’t know stationery is spelled with an “ery”. It may stand still, but it’s not stationary.

    (Fixed! But I’ll probably fuck it up again. ~ Jenny)

  89. They are called piña in Spanish.

  90. My friend in Brazil pointed out that the Portuguese word for the pineapple you eat is abacaxi, whereas ananas refers to… ornamental pineapples? At any rate, abacaxi is fun to say. 🙂

  91. Why don’t we call them bananas…oh wait….America MUST BE DIFFERENT! But seriously piananas would be a good name though if you think about it.

    Mandathepanda recently posted 2016 so far.

  92. Just bought Butterfly Confessions while I ate pineapple. AddyeB’s work is outstanding, vibrant and ALIVE! Thank you for sharing!

  93. Giraffes. Stupid long horses.

  94. It’s not called ananas in Spanish, it’s called piña. Does that make you feel any better? Less alone in the world?

  95. OMG! This inspired me to look up the reason, because… well, I’ve stayed up many nights thinking wondering about this. But why solve my own insomnia when I can solve anyone else’s.

    Europeans originally called “pinecones” “pineapples.” The first recorded mention of a pineapple was 136…ish (iit doesn’t like it’s age revealed) but they were referring to pinecones.

    Then in 1664, explorers were introduced to what we now call pineapples and called them pineapples because they looked like pinecones which were, at the time, called pineapples.

    And within 30 years, the term “pinecone” was invented. I suspect because guests were tired of showing up to Pineapple Parties and discovering the hosts had skimped and purchased the dry, fibrous, conifer tree variety of pineapple.

    As for the “ananas” thing, I can’t be sure, but I suspect it was the world’s way of saying, “Fuck the British.”

  96. Maybe pineapples should be growing on fir trees. Something to ponder…

    Musings, Rants & Scribbles recently posted Can a Husband and Wife Survive in the Same House Day After Day?.

  97. I don’t care if they call them “spikey poop balls” I LOVE them.

    terib19 recently posted Why don't I live on the moon?.

  98. “What the fuck am I doing with my life,” “where are all the cats,” and “how can my wife sleep so soundly” keep me up, after I awaken at 4:00 AM to pee. I never think of pineapples. Unless they are crushed and mixed with small curd, cottage cheese.

  99. Um. Pineapple in Spanish is pina with the ~ over the n. It’s not ananas. Maybe that’s Spain Spanish or some regional dialect thing, but all of Latin American says pina.

  100. Just like the bird named a peacock. What does one have to do with the other lol

    Sheryl Rose recently posted The Children Also?.

  101. Only 809? You left out a digit, didn’t you?

  102. I’m in the same boat with the pineapple reference. I would just like to say that us Americans calling soccer ‘soccer’ is unnerving too….. great, now I won’t be able to sleep tonight either.

    annasalibi recently posted Forget-Me-Not, JK I Will.

  103. in Chile is piña, and if someone calls it anana i’ll pretty much walk away….

  104. Well. This is going to drive me insane for the rest of my life.

    Awkwardly Alive recently posted Complainers Gonna Complain — Just Not to the Right People..

  105. This was my first read of your blog. AMAZING. Ten thumbs WAY, way up w/a goddamn SLOW CLAP. My weekend plans are now set!

  106. I kept pronouncing that like bananas without the ‘b’. But then I realized it’s ananas in Urdu too.

  107. 109
    Don in Waco

    I figure Hawaii, where they grow them would have the final word. Hala-kahiki. Most syllables wins.

  108. It’s called piña in the Philippines. So yeah, at least it’s closer to “pineapple”.

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