Today I saw this duck at the pharmacy drive-thru (AKA: the drug-hole) and he was looking kinda lonely. Victor thought maybe he missed his flight but I think probably he was just tired of looking at duck butts and decided to travel alone. But then I got worried because what if he was sick and needed me to take him home, so I got out of the car and was like, “Heeeere, Maverick Maverick Maverick” (because I’d already named him Maverick) and then Maverick was like, “Who?” (because I guess he didn’t know his awesome name yet) and started to back up (because he apparently did know about stranger danger).
But then he started doing this thing where instead of flying he just jumped really happily like he was skipping. And it was so awesome and full of joy. But then I thought maybe he was also full of worms or something because what kind of ducks skip? But then Maverick was like “THAT WAS FUN BUT ENOUGH SKIPPING. I’M OUTIE, BITCHES” and he flew majestically away. And it was beautiful.
So now this picture of Maverick doing the joyful pogo-jump is my new favorite thing ever:
Let’s all be Maverick today, y’all. Not like, skipping everywhere. Just skipping in our hearts. Unless you want to skip in real life because I do it all the time and it’s actually a really good work out. If there was a skipping marathon I’d totally almost think about doing it (but then not do it because that sounds like it’d be sweaty).
And now, the weekly wrap-up:
Art from Annie Wilson, who is adorable and far too young to read this blog. STOP READING, ANNIE. DO YOUR HOMEWORK.
Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- I made you a Mother’s Day card. It’s super classy.
- My instagram is pretty much just videos of my animals freaking out.
- This is on the short list of things I would wear to my own funeral.
- Want a signed copy of my books? Here you go.
This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by this kickstarter for KinderPerfect – a new card game for frazzled parents. From them: “Our aim is to take the everyday pain of parenthood and turn it into an excuse for mommy juice! KinderPerfect will contain 200 casino-quality cards that can be played as a stand-alone game, or used in combination with similarly formatted word association games like Cards Against Humanity or Apples to Apples. We’re sponsoring Design Parties across the USA, and anyone can submit a card idea – if we use it in the final game, we’ll send you a free deck.” You should check it out right here.