Get along, little doggies.

Y’all, it is October, which means WE SURVIVED SEPTEMBER.  GO, US.

It also means that a steady stream of pet Halloween costumes keep coming in because Victor still hasn’t reported my credit cards as stolen even though he keeps threatening to.  Victor seems to think that Dorothy Barker can just wear the first costume I find but that is ridiculous.  Mostly because pet stores don’t have dressing rooms for dogs so I have to buy them and then take them home to try them out.  Victor thinks that Dorothy Barker doesn’t even need a Halloween costume because apparently he just thinks animals should be naked all the time.  Which is sort of gross because technically when they aren’t wearing clothes they are putting their buttholes all over the house.  If anything, Victor should be thanking me. Although this first costume of the year didn’t actually cover Dorothy Barker’s butthole so I guess I can sort of see why Victor just stared at me and sighed deeply when Dorothy jumped in his lap:

Dorothy Barker as Hank the Cowdog.
Dorothy Barker as Hank the Cowdog.
Victor says she was complaining here but I think she was just yodeling.
Victor says she was complaining here, but I think she was just yodeling.

More to come.  Get ready.


And now…time for the weekly wrap-up!  It’s usually on a Sunday but today it’s not because I fucked up my calendar and am not responsible enough to know how days work anymore.  So it’s a little bit of Sunday on a Monday.  Except Victor just read this and reminded me it’s Tuesday.  This is Tuesday? Jesus.  I need help.


Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):


This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Kathy Scheiner, fashion consultant, who introduced me to the LulaRoe clothing line that she sells here.  And she kept going on about these “buttery soft leggings” and I was like, “I don’t really do leggings” but then I got some and now I live in them.  They are like wearing a hug for your butt and they make you want to tell strangers to feel your legs.  Anyway, join her group here and she can help you out.  (LuLaRoe is a California company offering clothes sold by consultants.  Seems weird but people love it.  Check it out here.  Buy some leggings.)

99 thoughts on “Get along, little doggies.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Halloween isn’t an official thing here in Australia but we’re now importing pumpkins out of season and there will be parties and costumes. I’m yet to see little doggies get dressed up though for Halloween. It will happen I’m sure. A cowboy puppy looks so cute.

  2. This is amazing. I don’t dare put my cats in costumes lest they murder me in my sleep, so I must live vicariously through other people’s pets.

  3. In that second picture, Dorothy Barker is crooning! (Isn’t that what cow-people do?) Get that gal a guitar!

  4. Best doggy costume I’ve ever seen lol. Dorothy Barker doesn’t look TOO embarrassed.

  5. I just ordered costumes for my 3 cats 10 minutes ago and bought my first pair of LLR leggings yesterday. GET OUT OF MY HEAD, JENNY!!! Just kidding, I love you, don’t ever leave me.

  6. Dorothy Barker looks pretty good, but I think you should continue to look for a Dale Evans costume. Or Annie Oakley. Dorothy would kill in Fringe. (and it looks like it rides a little high in the crotch – but perhaps that is the look you are going for…)

  7. I just ordered my 3 cats their costumes and bought my first pair of LLR leggings yesterday! GET OUT OF MY HEAD, JENNY! Just kidding. I love you. Don’t ever leave.

  8. Love Dorothy Barkers cowboy costume! The third pic is amazing!!!
    I also just found the LuLaRoe leggings cult and am a proud member (and yes, I do tell strangers to feel my legs). Now if only I could find the patterns that I like in the regular size (not the Tween size) leggings…that is a real bummer! Just a heads up…sometimes they get other things in the leggings fabric like Carly and Irma’s, so if you find one and don’t even like the pattern just buy it because if you think a hug for your butt feels good, think about one for your whole body!
    Good luck with the future costumes, Cannot wait to see what else you find (or that jerk that stole your credit card finds and politely sends to your front doorstep – how nice of them to do that by the way).

  9. LOVE the costume! And totally love the fake octopus memorial… “multimedia art project and social experience.” AKA total piss take. Hahaha

  10. I used to dress up my Shih Tzu Moya for Halloween. She has been a bride, a witch, Cinderella and a school girl (plaid skirt, white shirt and matching plaid bow). She also had a kimono that I got her. My Mom got her skeleton shirt and a pirate dress. And I was going to get her a hula girl and a cheerleader outfits! Neighbors loved it and took photos!
    Tell Victor to not be such a Halloween Scrooge! It’s all good fun!

  11. Dogs in costumes is just a gift we give ourselves. Also, as someone who doesn’t adore babies, babies in weird costumes is the best. It bums me out when parents choose mundane halloween costumes for babies. Make them a sundae! A lobster in a pot! A little slug! MAKE IT WEIRD!

  12. Yippee-kiyay. Get along little doggies.

    I’very never dressed a pet up for Halloween. I was always worried the costume would get eaten or I’d get sad dog face. Besides it’s hard enough keeping a toddler in costume!

  13. I totally see the yodelling in the second picture, but I went straight to “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker”.

  14. I totally see the yodelling in the second picture, but I went straight to “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker”.

  15. I went for theme costumes before my kids were born.
    1. Jean Luc (black cockapoo) was a jewelry box and I was an East Indian maiden
    2. JL was a mummy and I was a bat
    3. Fiance’ was a chicken, I was a duck and JL was a farmer
    4. Husband was a leaf bag, I was a tree and JL and Watson (a cairn) were leaf piles
    5. Husband was Sam I am, I was Dr. Suess and JL and Watson were Things 1 and 2
    6. Husband and I were candy bars and the pups were Hersey kisses

    Then children were born.

  16. I see that Dorothy Barker’s ears refused to be contained by that cowboy hat for long!

  17. I promise you, whatever lies Victor might try to feed you, Halloween is not a one-day event. Dorothy Barker will NEED those costumes, so keep buying!

    (and maybe don’t worry about covering her butt – sadly, most female costumes are kinda slutty these days)

  18. I love Hank the Cowdog! Dorothy wears it so well. Victor thinks it’s cute. Just won’t admit it!
    P.S. I got my signed copy of Let’s pretend today! Aaaaaaahhhh! My lif is now complete! You are AMAZING!

  19. When we lived in Japan, we dressed up our pug as a pumpkin at Halloween. And all of the hundreds of Japanese families who came on the Navy base to experience Halloween and take their kids trick or treating were fascinated by this and many, many wanted to take family pictures with Daisy Pug Pumpkin. So my pug is famous in Japan. 🙂

  20. She definitely looks cute in that outfit. Of course, there are no parrot costumes, largely because there are not that many band-aids in the world. Tango just about ended us when we tried to put a Harness on him, so a costume is definitely going to stretch his personal boundaries

  21. Those little arms! I laughed so loud my dogs ran out of the room – possibly worried there are costumes in their future!

  22. Pandora and Ravenclaw have costumes. They are kittens, and if you think kittens can’t appreciate dressing up, think again. I am trying to figure out how to post an image here. Be patient with me.

  23. Dress the her like a cat just to mess with Ferris and Hunter since she likes their toys already.

  24. In that first picture, Dorothy Barker’s tail makes her look like she’s riding a tiny horse. Perfect.

  25. There is so much stupid shit on the Internet these days, so thank God you’re able to find ALL THE THINGS that make me laugh my ass off! I will NEVER get tired of dogs in these types of costumes! For some reason I cannot wrap my brain around what’s going on for a few seconds (minutes) and then I question my sanity, and then I just give in and giggle.

  26. Love the costumes. I notice there’s a distinct lack of cats in costumes in this post, and I’m sure there’s probably a very good reason for that. Like, cats are very busy creatures and have no time to play dress-up.

  27. I’m surprised the cats are trying to catch the rope after she hogged their new toys lol

  28. [img][/img]

    My papillon Lucy and my Cavalier Abby!

  29. Okay, the dog is adorable, but did no one else see the last line of the article on octopus ferry tragedy wherein the ferry actually existed and was eventually used as a floating dorm for Riker’s Island prisoners? Because, what?

  30. Love it! I wish a had a tiny dog so I could dress him up. Titus is XXL thanks to his barrel chest. He greeted all the kids at the door last year wearing a witch hat though, so maybe I can find him a Donald Trump wig for this year (if I can’t find one, I can always improve–straw and spray paint maybe).

  31. Dorothy Barker is now an insect, I see. Well, after all, she IS a Papillon!


  32. That costume is adorable!

    But the giant octopus story had my family howling! Thanks for sharing it.

  33. You sound as responsible as I am. Admittedly, I’m a little concerned that someone else would be as irresponsible as me. I feel like I should apologize to the world now.

  34. That video of Hailey getting her birthday present is magical, like Chewbacca Mom. Nobody could watch that and not smile and feel warm and happy. Why can’t our pets be that happy when we get them fun costumes??

  35. i just found your blog, and cracked up laughing at the dog costume, we need lots of humor keep it up!
    Cranky Gloria

  36. Hailey getting a phone is just the bestest thing ever!! It’s so rare nowadays that people get that excited, over anything.
    Dorothy Barker looks wonderful! And I think she needs more costumes. And we need more pictures, of course.
    I received Furiously Happy in the mail a few days ago and I’ve started reading it. It’s WONDERFUL and really makes me feel like I’m not alone, so thank you for that.

  37. I totally need an “Elegant Motherfucker” journal for my massive collection of blank books. When I die, people will wonder why the hell I had as many blanks as written pages in my house.

  38. I need those journals. I need them in Canada at Canadian prices. Exchange rate ducks.

  39. This is exactly the chuckle I needed on this Lupus sucks and migraines suck too kind of day. thanks Chica

  40. Ok first off I have no clue what day it is and had to ask people twice today. Second I run a designer online boutique and on our Facebook page I have #fridayfurday dedicated to all the fashionably dressed animals out there. The month of October Fridays are animals in there costumes. So thank you, with out people like you dressing up their animals the Facebook page would be so basic 😂

  41. O. M. G. Too cute. She needs one that emphasizes her floofy tail. My cats eagerly await me raiding the size small 50% off dog costumes after Halloween.

  42. Well I can’t dress up my dog because she died on September 30th. So we didn’t all survive 🙁

    Still love you Bloggess, but I just can’t resist giving you a little $#!t about the unfortunate juxtaposition. I’m sure my dog is relieved to be dead instead of stuck in some horrible costume!

  43. I admire that you can get costumes on your pets and yet have all your skin… We tried putting hats on the cats once. Worked out okay for the cats…not so much our hands…or the hats. Guess they (the cats) hadn’t read Dr Seuss

  44. LuLaRoe forever! I never wore leggings either, now I am collecting like crazy. I am in search of the large raccoon face print leggings. I have all the other raccoon prints. In multiple items. Try the dresses, they are awesome!

  45. What’s the point of having a dog if you’re not allowed to dress up. It’s even better when they enjoy it too. The costume suits Dorothy Barker well.

  46. When I was a kid we discovered dogs SING. Dorothy Barker probably wasn’t complaining, she was SINGING. Know how I know?

    My mother and aunt started playing the button accordion. Our dogs would cluster at the feet of the current ‘musician’ and howl. Long and loud. We had 200 acres of land. They didn’t run away and hide. THEY STOOD VERY CLOSE TO WHOEVER WAS PLAYING AND HOWLED.

    They were singing along.

    Tell Victor he should be grateful that Dorothy Barker loves him so much that she’s prepared to sing along with his key-clicking. 😀

  47. Dorothy Barker WINS Best Costume 🎃🐶❣ I just love her, hope she tries on Many more 😆-

  48. Aw man, now I wish I had ever dressed up my late cats. When they were still alive, of course. They’ve been cremated. I don’t think you can dress up a pile of ashes that has been scattered over the sea.

  49. This is why I’m okay with not having kids: I can put ridiculous costumes on my dogs.
    I just wish I had a picture of our Dalmatians dressed up as cows on my computer. It would be hilarious to have Dorothy Barker herding them.

  50. Lularoe is the best! I discovered it this summer and basically refuse to wear anything else now. It’s like being able to wear pajamas everywhere! And, I love getting crazy patterns on the leggings. Can’t wait to see what leggings I get for Halloween!!

  51. Wow, the reference to Hank the cow dog gave me major nostalgia. I honestly thought I was the only one that read the series.

  52. When I dress my dogs up in costume they become statues. Which makes me think I should dress them up when guests come over so they don’t jump on people.

  53. My Quote of the Day: “Here. Touch my leg in a socially acceptable spot.”

    sticks out Lularoe-legging-clad leg

  54. Do they make these to fit my 90lb dog…named Cowboy? He doesn’t want it for Halloween. Just for everyday, to wear to the office.

  55. That costume is hilarious! I might get a dog now, just so I can dress it up for Halloween. No, No I won’t, but your post made me think about it for a couple of minutes, and I am not a pet person.

  56. Thanks for the notice about the spoon lady. After I read the spoon allegory in your book, I’ve used it many times to try and explain what it’s like to have chronic pain. I was glad to be able to help a little. I am interested in looking at your sponsor’s leggings and other products, but I don’t do Facebook. (I’ve had a stalker and I try to minimize my presence on social media). Is there another site where she sells her merch? It may be just my loss as I’m locked out of some activities because I don’t trust Facebook to keep my name secure. BTW, glad you’re in a better place.

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