You are here. And I am too.

Y’all.  My first round proofs from my next book just came in the mail.

If you read here you already know that I wasn’t able to focus on my next memoir because this illustrated book was blocking everything in my head and screaming to be born so I had no choice but to finish it, but it always seemed silly to say that I was spending 12 hours a day for months and months making what was essentially an irreverent coloring book about surviving life.  But then today I scattered the pages all over the floor and saw how much I had accomplished.  It made me realize that even though it’s felt like I was stalled in my head I was actually accomplishing something real that I’m proud of.  And maybe you’ll love it or maybe you’ll hate it (GOD PLEASE LOVE IT) but no matter what, I did something, and sometimes you don’t realized what you’ve done until you’ve thrown it up on the floor.  That was poor phrasing but you know what I mean.

And I stood there and said to myself, YOU ARE HERE, JENNY LAWSON.  

youarehere
AND I WAS.  So it was fitting.  Also, I was drunk when I wrote this.  This post, I mean.  Not the book.  But I was drunk for some of that too.

Thanks for sticking with me through this strange, but much-needed detour.  I hope it helps you as much as it helped me.

PS.  If you didn’t know I writing an illustrated book and this all seems confusing just click here for the back story.

PPS.  It won’t be out for several more months but you can preorder here.  Also, a giant thank you to everyone who has pre-ordered because that stuff sort of convinces other bookstores to carry it when it comes out and I’d really like it to see the light of day for people who might need it.  But at least it saw the light of my floor after walking me through a depressive period that I was afraid would last longer than I would.  And that’s something to celebrate.  Sometimes the little things are the big things.

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181 thoughts on “You are here. And I am too.

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  1. Positively awesome. Being an editor, I see proofs all the time, and lately we’ve pushed through an awful lot of coloring books (please God, give me paragraphs of real sentences all in a row to read soon or I might forget the English language!), but this one is the best. 🙂 I wish our company was the publisher! I would gladly have looked over this one! Congratulations! You have accomplished so many amazing things. Virtual high five! You are definitely one of my heroes. 🙂

  2. Thank you so much for doing this. I don’t color to deal with anxiety(I just sort things instead), but I love the beauty and brilliance of your artwork. Dangerous minds can be f*ing brilliant and creative sometimes.

  3. Congratufinglations. But In a serious way. The only way I could be more excited for this book would be if it were the kind with tiny bits of paint that I only needed water and a plastic paint brush to spread around. Or if it came with stickers about rectums.

  4. I am so, so happy for you, Jenny! You did a good work. We knew you had it in you, and I’m glad that you can see it, too. You are more than the words that won’t come out of your head.

  5. Hmm that seems like a great idea. When I finally have proofs for any of my comics, sometime in the future, I will do the same. I live in a small apartment so it doesn’t even need to be an especially long comic 😉

  6. Congratulations, it is a major accomplishment, especially if you did it while you were going through a depressive period. I have better living through chemistry for depression. Plus I found out that going to the pool that has big windows next to it helps. Except when I’m too depressed to get myself to go there. Depression is major suckage, isn’t it?

  7. So excited for March!! Knowing your book is on the way is one of the little things that’s a big thing for me.

  8. hugs and hugs. And I cannot wait till this is in my greedy little paws! 😁 Err…hands. I’ve been talking from the viewpoint of the wee dog lately. This is what happens when you spend too much time around your pets and not enough time around humans…

  9. Looks like you could just dive in! Your puppy better not pee on them 🙂 I really love the title of this book, Jenny. My anxiety is so bad that years can pass where I don’t feel like I’m anywhere at all. I’d love for my feet to touch the ground at some point and just stay there. <3

  10. WOW! You accomplished a TON of work there, lady, way to go! Congratulations on your latest baby! 😀 I know what it feels like when one project forces itself to the front of your brain, so I’m glad you listened rather than trying to shut it up — because look at what you did! That’s incredible! (Also, I hope Dorothy doesn’t eat your hard work, because that would be heartbreaking.)

  11. You are here. It’s exactly where I’m meant to be, right? Right?? I cannot wait to get my hands on this. So pick up your living room floor, will ya?

  12. Thank you for holding a space for me to be here, too, even when it feels like it would be better if I were not. Here. But I still am. Thanks for that.

  13. I was sitting here feeling sorry for myself because (no reason!) and posting on Bookface about the potential horror that something called Glitter Grout may be about to inflict upon the world’s bathroom decor, when I saw you had a new post up, and …. of course this makes me very, VERY happy 🙂 Even if there may be glitter hidden in it somewhere. Because I’m pretty sure there’s no grout in it… right?

    tosses glitter up in the air in celebration

  14. I say, “Keep throwing up, Jenny. We love it when you throw up. When you throw up, it helps so many people.” (Sounds like an add for feeding starving children) — “Hey, if you just threw up once a day, imagine how much you could help others who have nothing to throw up today.” Love you . -theunquiet1

  15. Thank you Jenny! I’m stoked that I preordered it, and can’t wait to get it. I’m glad that you’re here, and I am too.

  16. Another reason to push through the dark times. Depression lies and tries to get us to think,we can’t do anything good, but we can. AND YOU DID! Thanks for not giving up and for sharing all of your creativity with us. ❤

  17. I couldn’t figure out your links to preorder so I just went to amazon and preordered it from there. Can’t wait to get it but I guess I really don’t have much choice do I?

  18. God, I love it. I think all the people I gift it too will love it, too. Will it come with the option to leave it in pieces scattered on their living room floor? I assume that’s the “gift” option.

  19. Whoa hoa! Congratulations! That’s a huge mess. I mean accomplishment. It came out “mess” but I REALLY mean accomplishment.

  20. It’s already on order where I work so I won’t miss it. You’re so great, Jenny – thank you!

  21. I’m insanely excited about this book coming. I’m thinking I need to buy two – one to color and one to keep the illustrations pristine — because I am SURE to fuck up my coloring as I have zero sense of colors and which look good together.

  22. Putting out the Coloring Tour idea again. That would be fab. Like those Wine & Paint parties but with introverts and maybe margaritas and nachos.

  23. Theses so awesome and yes, it is the little things…because some day we will look back on this little things and realize they were big things in disguise. Sometimes I want to throw things too but not for the same reasons…maybe I need to get drunk…way to go Jenny!

  24. I’m so excited about this! Your existence and creations you’ve put out to the public have been there when I needed it/them most and have been a gift to me and will continue to be. Thank YOU for being here and reminding me I am too and we can all get through our bad times and even learn from them 😀

  25. I see the first comment asks “please staple those together and send to me” – my thought? Never mind the staples – just gather into a raggedy pile and throw into an envelope and send to ME please 😘😂❤️

  26. So exciting! Great work Jenny! And to quote Lin Manuel Miranda (because you should when you can): No pare, sigue, sigue!

  27. I know you couldn’t know this. But I draw strength from you. I KNOW I can keep going. I KNOW I will be okay.

    OKAY…I TOTALLY DON’T…but I do think it’s at least possible. So thanks for that.

  28. Waiting for my already ordered copy with bated breath (or is it baited breath? I honestly don’t know ) Congrats!!!

  29. Have you read The Artist’s Way? One of the things that has really helped me while reading it is knowing that even though I’m a writer, when I make artistic things outside of my “wheelhouse,” I’m still creating art and things that have value. Even if I think I’m stalling, like when I’m knitting myself a blanket instead of working on a novel.

  30. Jenny, I pre-ordered this book on the day you announced it and we, your friends, are so proud of you!

  31. I’ll be ordering this for our eldest daughter – both to encourage her with her nascent blog, and to show her that if you work at something, you can do pretty much anything (including awesome colouring books) 🙂 So when do you start the mindfulness book?

  32. Thanks for hitting the synchronicity button, Jenny: at 11:56 today I hit the Send button, emailing my first manuscript to the editor/publisher. Hope your ms and mine sorta rubbed noses in the ether while passing. So glad “you are here,” saving us all so often, surprises of grace in our inboxes.

  33. Wow, Jenny, that is an amazing body of work when you put it all out in front of you like that. I hope you sell a billion copies and make lots of people furiously happy too.

  34. Jenny: Lots of women read you and comment — not so many men, so I figure it’s overdue. I’ve never met you. Probably never will. But of all the people I know only as print and electrons, you are one of my favorites. Hard to not sound creepy when we’re perfect strangers out here in meatspace, but I’ve often felt like you were a friend, and I’ve laughed with and worried about you more than you’ll ever know. In any event I WILL be preordering this book. Thanks for letting us visit some of your interior rooms and for talking about the words locked in your head. Some of us know that bit intimately, and, speaking for myself, I feel like I’m the only one ’til someone says it. You’re a good woman, and have a good heart, and I wish nothing but the best things for you, especially in your fascinating interior life.

  35. March can not come soon enough. Unfortunately, I don’t think I can blow up that picture enough to start coloring the draft pages. 🙂

  36. I want this so much. I can’t preorder because of certain finals l financial limitations, but hopefully they’ll be resolved by the time the book comes out.

  37. this is so neat. You managed to take those ‘doodles’ and turn them into something workable, useful, and a book everyone can enjoy. that is way cool.

  38. I have such a problem with feeling like I just slept and watched TV or read a book all day. Then, I look at my knitting project (or any other crafty project I’m working on) and I realize that I got some of that finished! Not all, and sometimes not much, but I did accomplish more than sleep, watching TV, or reading.

  39. I love love love it and can’t wait 😍😍😍😍😍. Good job Jenny 👏🏻 Ps thanks for the detour

  40. Jenny, I loved it so much I have THREE copies on pre-order! You are amazing and amazingly loved!

  41. Every time I open my email and see that little flagged message from Amazon telling me about my preorder, still sitting there after so many moons, I get so excited. Then I open it and see that March release date and I’m just like, “I want to sleep until this arrives.” Because it’s gonna be so awesome and I can’t wait.

  42. I’m so so happy you made this. I know I’m going to need it. I unfortunately can’t pre-order, I sooooooo WISH I COULD!! Makes me mad I can’t cause I’m a huge fan and supporter of you Jenny.

    Can’t wait to have a copy of my own. Maybe two so I can be OOCD about one book and then be crazy with madness in my second book and won’t be so worried I might bend the pages or accidentally colour wrong, or accidentally scribble on one of the pages. I’m aware this is weird but you make being weird the best coolest thing ever.

  43. I am so very much looking forward to your next book. Honestly, I think that if you filled blank pages with random scribbles, I’d still race to buy it and love every page.

    I think it’s great that Ms Barker managed to get in the shot but you must have been quick as there are no cats laying on the papers.

    You are great. Thank you for everything you do

  44. I’m a book buyer for an indie store and you can bet I’ll be ordering copies from the publisher for the store.

  45. Thank you. This reminds me I don’t need more convincing to preorder one for my daughter. Now if I could afford one for me too

  46. First, this comment thing is goofy on my (stupid) phone. Next: Thank you for this post. It reinforces my desire to preorder for my daughter. Maybe I can get one for myself one day too.

  47. First, this comment thing is goofy on my (stupid) phone. Next: Thank you for this post. It reinforces my desire to preorder for my daughter. Maybe I can get one for myself one day too. Now it tells me I’ve made a duplicate comment. F¥¢# S#!π

  48. When I grow up, I’m going to be just like you. I’m going to write a book, keep on writing a blog, take my stuffed bear with me wherever I go, and intermittently drink without fear of reprisal. And say fuck and shit whenever I want and wear that shirt with the Gary Larson cartoon on it with the cow strapped to the wall saying “the horrible truth behind whipped cream” and WEAR IT IN PUBLIC”. So yeah.

  49. Do we really have to color in it or can we just stare at it amaziness (that’s a word in my world – stupid spellcheck!)

  50. Just ordered, boom! I’ll forget between now and March so I will come home to an awesome surprise!

  51. I wish that you needed an admin/assistant/assasin, because I would so rock that position, have the CV and references to prove it, and am even willing to relocate to hell. Or Texas.

  52. Cant wait for this. I will be using it for sure.
    Im deeply trapped in darkness right now, terrifed its going to win this time.
    Your posts help, even if for a minute, reminding me im not the only one dealing with these dark times.
    Your art means so much, they bring me to tears, make me smile, YOU mean so much.
    So i will keep fighting and channelling my inner Jenny to keep trying to survive.
    So thank you, if anything, please know your words reach this broken person

  53. Every time I think I could not love you more, my heart takes a deep breath and you come in. It sounds weird, ability your crazy, mismatched, wanton, hilarious craziness brings calm and order to my life because I feel elated that life can be just that weird and scary and unprecedented with no direction and yet madly reasonable and curiously happy all at once. Keep keepin on girlfriend. ❤️

  54. Gah! I meant “BUT your crazy mismatched, wanton…” and “FURIOUSLY happy”! Total fail in inspiration! ☹️

  55. Yesterday I read about a musician who has just “come out” in terms of his anxiety/depression/suicidal thoughts. I begged him to get Furiously Happy and follow your blog. Hope he does…

  56. March? It comes out in March!! How perfect! Because I’m depressed now as bad as I usually get in February, and I’ve been frightened, because February usually kicks my ASS, so I’ve been thinking, If the progression is as bad as usual from October to February, I may not make it through. I mean, I will because I do, but, ugh. BUT now, your book, in March. I have that to look forward to! AND, I planted bulbs. Me! So that will be happening, too!

  57. That’s a lot of work there. You would have been a lot quicker at illustrating it than what it is going to take me to colour it in.

  58. Yes. You Are Here, Jenny Lawson. Proof you exist. We see you. On a more general note: I have found that creating anything can help me feel more present. Good or bad doesn’t matter. The fact that it only came to exist because I am here is what matters. I changed reality. Also, finishing any task is an accomplishment. On a bad day, that accomplishment might be that I managed to breathe in and out all day. Go me! I will now say bask in the awe of that lovely spread of creations. Page after page of surviving that may help another do the same. You go, girl!

  59. Right here is why we all love you Jen – even when things are awful and you’re suffering through things that most of us could never even comprehend, you’re still able to create light from darkness and help others while you are at it. Cannot wait for this book, my youngest is madly colouring in everything he can get his hands on at the moment. And I don’t think he can read the word ‘fuck’ yet… 🙂

  60. I have already pre-ordered two copies. One for me and one for my BFF whose birthday is in March. I cannot wait for March!!! You are amazing. The Tribe you helped to create is amazing and nearly indescribibly life saving. Thanks for all you do to save us from ourselves. ❤

  61. Here’s to ‘making shit happen’, Jenny, despite the fact that your brain tries to sabotage you at every turn…Writer, artist – you’re on your way to becoming a creative triple threat! Start singin’ in the shower girl! Thanks for being.

  62. When you’re in the pit of despair I hope you’re able to think of all the people out here that you’re helping. You do! Depression lies, and you’re not alone in the dark pit. I hate the times it comes to call and things in my life are fine. I feel like an idiot for feeling bad. I’m in a nasty jag right now, but it’s to be expected since my grandmother passed away two days after being laid off at my job, and my boyfriend has literally been in a three year long depression death spiral. It’s those life is okay jags that are the most soul sucking though. Thanks for always being that friend in the pit with me. You’re the best! ❤️

  63. You, Jenny Lawson, are amazing and have changed lives as you try to live yours. I am proud to know you (sort of) and humbly bow down at the telling of your truth. Carry on, Badass. Carry on.

  64. Brandon Sanderson, one of my favorite authors, says that he writes a lot of different stories because it keeps him fresh and interested in his work, no matter what book the fans are waiting for. So I say, write what is in you to write. All your fans will be here when you’re ready for your next book. Sheesh, I mean, look at R.R. Martin. He takes years, and everyone still buys it. Looking forward to getting the coloring book!!

  65. It looks amazing. Writing is such a fickle friend, but what you have created looks amazing (even though it is blurry).

  66. I hope this doesn’t sound assinine, but my favorite quotation of all time (soon to be a tattoo!) is:
    “Wherever you go, there you are.” I hope it somewhat resonates with your drunken sentiments regarding being… you know… there.
    Now, I’ll be playing Wilco’s album “Being There,” an album when I actually liked their music. Yay! Happy Friday! Time to get drunk!

  67. Dorothy’s looking with worried thoughts: “I thought I didn’t piddle on the paper anymore…oh no are you going on a trip and I’ll have to!?”

  68. Just pre-Ordered! VERY EXCITED and you should be SO proud of this accomplishment. Hugh Laurie as supposed to write a second novel – now he has two amazing Jazz albums – you never know 😉

  69. <3 you and your books but what I really want to know is where did you get the shoes?!?

  70. Planning to preorder one for myself-then when it comes-I will go and support my local bookstore and purchase a few more as gifts for my favorite sister and my friend.

  71. So I’ve been having a really rough week, my husband has been away working for two weeks, and I’m happy for him, but for whatever reason I’ve been falling apart. I think I’ve cried for no real reason every day this week. This morning I read your post and there on your floor, where you are, is the picture of the giant octopus under the ship, and here where I am, it is hanging on the wall of my office right next to me. So I am in a small part of where you are, and if you can start to feel better, maybe I can too. <3

  72. thank you again for your books. My sister in law introduced me to “furiously happy” and i took it to Las Vegas with me for my boyfriends business trip ( i was going at emotionally support), he ended up having a mental breakdown, ended our trip early and went straight to the doctor the next day – ending with a 3 1/2 month medical level to recover and put himself back together again. I read your book to us the whole drive home from Nevada to Southern California. We needed it, it saved my sanity in a INCREDIBLY stressful time and gave me a new perspective of how to be there for him. I ordered your other book the moment we got home.
    We’re still working on giving him better skills for dealing with stress, anxiety and depression, but he’s in a better place now then he was and it honestly made us closer.
    The timing was perfect and I’m so grateful for your humor, honesty and bluntness about behavior disorders. No more whispers, no more shame.

  73. Well there you are and here I am. My bohunk grandma used to always say that and it would make me feel good about the place I was in at the moment despite whatever the circumstances might be. I took it to mean she was always there for me. Congrats! I, for one, am very happy you are here to share your talent. Cheers to you for a great tribe of kickass hooligans that have your back & will love your next book

  74. I’ve been having problems going to work regularly because of my depression. Your Furiously Happy book is beginning to change that. I will be Furiously Happy at work just to spite my depression! I’m not much of a colorer, and I can only color in kid’s books, I’ve tried the intricasies of adult coloring books before and they just baffle me. But I will totally preorder this book (once I get a solid paycheck), basically so I can tear out all the pages and hang them on my walls, the way I’ve already done with a few of your artistic pieces you’ve posted here on your blog.

  75. I’m looking at that paper and wondering where the cats are… There should be at least one cat sitting on any paper put down on the floor!

  76. I can’t seem to find a psychiatrist … I’ve been on the phone for an hour. I had been going through the county for 90 days because of suicide ideation and anxiety, ptsd, and major depression, and then a year with nothing, no meds, nothing. So far I haven’t been out of the house since the middle of August. I’m trapped until I can get a psychiatrist. I’m disabled and the loss of my job of 20yrs has NOT helped, but I understand that you had your own hellish experiences, and I can’t imagine deadlines when I know how this feels. This probably doesn’t make sense, but that’s okay. You are trying, and that’s what matters.

    (It makes total sense and I feel you completely. It was so hard to find a shrink here too. I finally had to go with one that doesn’t take my insurance because I couldn’t find any others that would see me. Be strong. You’re worth it. Also, when things got rough I called suicide hotlines and they were able to help talk me through bad nights. There’s no shame in asking for help. ~ Jenny)

  77. Dorothy Barker says, “Hey, Mom, what’s up with this mess of papers?” 🙂

    Also, super cute shoes!

    PS-I pre-ordered the book as soon as you mentioned it. I’m super excited about it!! Thank you!

  78. Jenny, your posts give me the strength to tackle every new day. The spoon theory is a lifesaver. I’m not alone, and that is such a comfort. On my worst days, my mantra is “Depression lies.”
    Thank you for the books, blogs, and sharing your struggles with us. You can’t possibly know how much you have helped my quality of life. Thank you is just not enough. Although, unlike VanGogh, I will NOT it off my ear and send to you as a token of my need and appreciation of you!😂

  79. To the poster Ronnie J Darling above: please know that ALL OF US ARE WITH YOU. there are more of us Jenny followers that understand & know at least part of what you are going through. Most of us have been there, done that & fought back again & again. Depression lies. Never stop fighting.

    and to Jenny: my house looks just like that too! only the papers are random & stupid & taking over my life. maybe i’ll have a bonfire. it would be lovely to go thru your book by firelight….

  80. Next time I don’t think I got anything done, I’m spreading it all down the hall.
    Brilliant visual and metaphorical ‘stroll through the mindset.’
    Right?

  81. Ronnie J Darling #146 Comment: Do you Tweet? (I couldn’t find you 🙁 ) If you join Twitter, then go to #BloggessTribe, EVERYONE there is up and posting round the clock. Be sure and follow @TheBloggess.
    I KNOW you will be able to find someone to ‘chat’ with who knows exactly how you feel and probably exactly what to say to get you through that one moment. You WILL get camaraderie and support until you can find a good therapist.
    I’m so glad you found Jenny.

  82. I preordered your book a couple of months ago as my sanity was in danger. I can’t wait for it—little dance—although waiting is part of my perverse pleasure. You’re wonderful to do this for us.

  83. I love it!! And I love your shoes, especially the toe cleavage. So once again you’ve made me happy. 😍

  84. I am solo excited! I love coloring books and your so funny it’s perfect!!!!

  85. I did pre-order! Yay! I’m excited that I could accomplish that task while drunk! I’m holding on tight… I just don’t want to hurt any more. I know depression lies, but I’m soo tired. I know you understand.

  86. The feeling that it will never end is the worst, seems really cruel that our brains can conjure up so many things that aren’t true but when asked to contemplate something that generally IS true, that nothing lasts forever, it’s such a struggle! I’m look forward to everything you publish, and every blog post, because I know I’m going to find that relief and reminder of not being alone.

  87. I’m having a conversation like you have with victor with @snowxwons..we met because of you..we are arguing over the color burgundy..

  88. I ordered my two copies back when you first told us about this. And we do already love it. I have embiggened and colored pages you have posted here just to practice for the real thing.
    And I am going to quote Liana now – thanks for being here today, when no one else is.

  89. Thank you, Jenny. You have saved me a hundred times over. 2016 has been a shitshow, but I am convinced that 2017 will be better, because I have this book to anticipate. Thank you.

  90. I love you. You have made my life better in so many ways, can’t wait to get this new book!

  91. I need this in my life and will beg my hubby to pre order it as a Christmas gift. Please don’t stop creating. I know it is a big responsibility, but we and the World need you.

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