Someone in the comments just responded with “Oh Jenny, you sausage” and this is now my favorite term of endearment because it makes me laugh and also, I am mostly sausage. And so are you. Even if you’re vegan. Because sausage is made of ground up meat parts and organs and bones and intestines and things better left unmentioned and I’m made of all of that too. Except I’m not ground up yet. Although one day when I’m cremated I will be ground up so technically I think that means I’m future sausage. Or will be future sausage? I’m not sure which tense to use when it comes to sausage of the future.
I tried to explain all of this to Victor and he just stared at me like I was crazy so I explained how sausage is made and apparently he didn’t want to hear it but I’m a sharer and what I have to share is knowledge, Victor. And sausage. If I have any. And we used to have freezers full of it because my grandparents made piles of it once a year and I honestly thought that everyone’s grandparents ground up gross crap and stuffed it into intestine skins on their kitchen table but apparently it’s just a bohemian thing? But then Victor made me doubt that it had ever happened at all so I googled it and google was like, “You are totally right. As usual. Also, can we interest you in some edible collagen or some natural beef bung?” And no, google, you can’t. Stop it. We were cool and you made it weird.
Aaaanyway, I guess that’s why people always say “you don’t want to watch the sausage being made” because if I’m sausage that means you’d be watching me being made, which I think would mean watching me being conceived and no one needs that. I forgot where I was going with this but that’s to be expected because, hello? I’m mostly made of sausage.
And now…time for the weekly wrap-up!
Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- Ballerina Death Squad. It’s a long story. No death or ballerinas involved. Look at the page for the explanation. You’re in if you want to be.
- “I got this for a quarter at a garage sale. Makes good pubic hair. Made me think of you. ~ Darlene”
- You should read this thread.
- I’m only having one glass.
- Happy Lunar New Year, year. It’s the year of the rooster.
This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Nurture, a small woman-owned business. (The small woman is Annie.) The Nurture body care line is plant based, and everything is scented only with essential oils. While Nurture believes in the psychological benefits of essential oils, we don’t claim our products will cure cancer. Well, since a portion of sales of It’ll Be OK Calm Balm benefit St. Baldrick’s Foundation, and they fund pediatric cancer research, maybe that one. One can hope.
Nurture yourself. Nurture others. Be Kind. And read the instructions – they’re usually good for a laugh.