Confession: I don’t understand the tiny blood bucket

My friend Maile sent me a text in the middle of the night and it reminded me how important it is to have friends who get you and who also don’t understand some of the basic principals of being a woman.

165 thoughts on “Confession: I don’t understand the tiny blood bucket

Read comments below or add one.

  1. This is EVERYTHING I needed today! Jenny, you are magic, and obviously you interact with other magic people – thank you for this!

  2. What is it? A reusable tampon?
    I’m sorry…I’m totally lost on this one but uncomfortably curious 🙄

  3. Note to self: do not read blog updates from Jenny while at work… because I so want to share why I’m giggling, but as the Compliance Manager, it’s really not work appropriate. Conundrums.

  4. I want to know how you judge your size? I mean I can’t even buy pants two different places in the same size. I mean is this a Target Large or a Macy’s Large?

  5. Nope. It’s gonna spill and I’ll have to deal with the Red Sea all over my clothes. Just nope.

    (Also, nope to the reselling of one. I can’t articulate why except that it’s just weird to buy secondhand.)

  6. Don’t diss the menstrual cup, IT’S AWESOME. Seriously, I’ve been using one for like 15 years. Think of how much money I’ve saved. And the environment.

  7. Yes, wth indeed.
    And, who buys this shit in the first place only to decide they don’t really want to use it?
    Strikes me as the kind of purchase where you know, going in, you either will or will not use it.
    Clearly I do not know the potential menstrual cup using audience, which turns out to have more speculative buyers (one) than I would have imagined.

  8. Hahaha! Just like the texts with my bff. Who wants a cooch funnel that was anywhere near that gross carpeting? It’s all so wrong wrong wrong!!!

  9. LOLOL – Ohhhh, sh*t, that made my day…. My hubby actually ORDERED one of these for me (not a used one from a garage sale, I hope) because he read that it was more economical and good for the environment…which I do love a good environmentally friendly DEAL. I tried it…but I don’t even like to wash and re-use towels, let alone a “tiny blood bucket I carry in my crotch”. Bless his man heart. 🙂

  10. I guess the middle of the night is really the only appropriate time to have this sort of conversation…

  11. Fyi. They can be hard to remove and will spill after removal from lady garden with a loud popping noise. Used it twice, never again. The clean up of the splatter was gross. Plus how do you explain that noise in a work bathroom!!!!

  12. Unsurprisingly, I’m not sure which texts are from you and which are from your friend.

    (Ha! I’m in blue. ~ Jenny)

  13. Still in the original packaging means it’s more valuable to collectors maybe?

  14. #11, yup. Been using a Lunette cup for 10 years and it is BOMB. Those of you dissing it have not tried it. And FYI I bought mine on eBay because you can’t buy Lunettes outside of Finland. 🙂

  15. This is why I love you! This is a conversation that my roommate and I would have.

  16. Ugh. I’m that commenter today– the one who blows up the vibe with fact-thingies. I have one. I was skeptical about it but never buying tampons again is awesome. It’s especially miraculous if one of your baby rearranged your pelvis, didn’t put things back when he vacated, and now the old faithful disposable period stuff doesn’t even work for you anymore. The bag is for after you are done with it and have cleaned it and put it away for the month. The whole disposable market is kind of a scam when these things exist. And I’m not even the kind of person who says that kind of thing. But…uh…resale? No. No, no, no. Big old NO.

    (I have lots of friend who swear by these for a million good reasons, so you are not alone. 🙂 ~ Jenny)

  17. OH the things I’ve seen on the garage sale sites this week! What’s happening? Full moon? Solar flares? Planetary alignment?

  18. Okay first of all, Ewwwww!
    Secondly, who sells this kind of thing second hand? But more important, who would buy it?
    Also, no, just no. I think this is supposed to be an innovative product but I prefer you don’t do any innovating in my hoo ha, thanks.

  19. I was freaked out by them too, but a friend convinced me to get a diva cup and I’m never going back to tampons. It was unsettling how easy it was to get used to.

  20. Love the blood bucket! I started using one for a through hike so I wouldn’t have to pack out blood trash. It’s the best! I was kicking myself for not discovering it sooner. Would’ve saved a lot of $$ and blood trash going into the waste stream. FYI, “Large” size is supposed to be for women who’ve given birth. But, OK, even I wouldn’t buy a used one, even if they claim it’s still in “original packaging,” just ’cause.

  21. Used a disposable “blood bucket” and it was pretty awesome. No leaks! Weird thing to buy used, though, even in “original packaging.” And blood bucket makes me giggle.

  22. So many potential domain names there. If bloodbucket isn’t available, how about bloodbucketlist for all the blood bucket ambitions?

  23. A blogging acquaintance of mine actually runs putacupinit.com.. has information about sizing and etc. I’ve not used one but a lot of people I know do and have for a while.

  24. That just made my day!! I have all kinds of thoughts and questions about them. How do you know what size to get??? Is there a size chart somewhere??? I am very glad for the ladies who can use them. I would have spent half my day in the bathroom. Happily, I am past that stage of my life.

  25. One of the clots I used to pass were bigger than thIs thing. But thanks! You made my day!

  26. I lost it at cooch funnel. I’m so glad my office is in the back of the building where there’s no one around. <3 Thank you for a much needed laugh during this hell week.

  27. Oh! I have tried one of those…well, kinda. But I have a tipped uterus and either I didn’t understand the procedures properly or the bucket was faulty – either way it resulted in a tipped bucket of blood. Ew. I just threw it away – didn’t even consider selling it! 😀

  28. You put it in in the morning and ignore all day. When you get home from work, take it out, empty, rinse, replace, and leave in overnight. Get up next morning and repeat. SO MUCH MORE convenient than tampons or pads. People talking about leaks and messes– I’ve never had either. They’re not for everyone, but for me, it was a game changer and I wish they’d been around when I was a teen.

  29. I hate to admit that I tried one of these years ago. Have never been so grossed out in my life. Odor. That’s all I’m saying.

  30. I’ve never been happier to be post-menopausal. I laughed so hard I would’ve ejected the mini blood bucket.

  31. They’re really really great products (in general, I haven’t tried that specific brand), with a bit of a learning curve. The brand I use has two sizes and does explain on their website how to determine which one you should get. The basic breakdown was you pick the smaller one if you’re under age 30 and have not given birth, and the slightly larger one if you’re over 30 OR have given birth.

    It holds more than a super-absorbent tampon, doesn’t dry out your lady cave, has no trash (fantastic if you have pets that like to dig in your garbage), lasts for years so you save a ton of money, and you don’t need to worry about running out of pads/tampons unexpectedly. You can sterilize them between uses, and I think most people could get over the squick-factor if given enough time to get used to it.

  32. No words. Lmao. Danger noodle. Cooch funnel (blessedly not in the same post). I just can’t even.

  33. I don’t know about anyone else, but in the picture it looks miniature. I was like “Is this a Barbie blood cup? Early education on natural menstrual devices?”

  34. There’s no way a tiny bucket like that would ever hold the blood flood I had every month. I had fibroids that made me flow like the Seine River. So thankful I had a hysterectomy and don’t have to worry about periods anymore.

  35. So glad I am 2 years beyond needing anything like this. My 15 year-old daughter asked for one though. Haven’t had a request for tampons since. Maybe it’s a generational thing?

  36. So glad I am 2 years beyond needing anything like this. My 15 year-old daughter asked for one though. Haven’t had a request for tampons since. Maybe it’s a generational thing?

  37. Hahahaha… I so needed to read this today. It’s shark week for me, my therapist is spending the month in Australia, it’s trying to snow here, I have an overdue library book, and my community mental health worker had to cancel on me due to an emergency. My girl parts are rebelling against me and I’m in so much pain. The “blood bucket” is at least giving me a laugh.

  38. Looks more like a cootch shot-glass than a bucket. I need a quarter or a ruler or something for size reference. Also, how does one take measurements of one’s lady garden to determine the correct size? Soooooo glad the menopause fairy is visiting!

  39. Actually those are extremely useful. There’s a bit of a learning curve but I love mine.

  40. Always enjoy your blog titles as I never know if it’s going to be about something comprehensible or not ! Does this sound passassive-aggressive ?

  41. ha ha ha this is the best conversation ever. I used to use something called the Instead cup, back in the 90s or 2000s. Until I had a baby and blew my vag out. It would no longer hold that little cup. Oh so sad. I loved that thing.

  42. You, Laura (of Beyonce infamy) and Maile need your own sitcom. I don’t even watch TV, but I would buy one AND get cable just to watch you guys every week!!!

    (P.S. if that should ever happen, I call an Executive Producer credit with my official title from the Church of Bloggessoniam.)

  43. Diva Cup!!!!! is better?
    Collapsible Silicone Foldable Sterilizing Cup set for feminine softcups Menstrual Cups Storing and cleaning Your heavy Diva Cup Foldable Travel Cup for Outdoors Camping and Hiking-Eco Friendly(Pink

  44. This is EXACTLY what I needed after a long, crazy day at work dealing with screamy teenagers who are screaming at the top of their voices just so they can be heard when they’re scream-talking to their friends who are also screaming because they can’t be heard above the other 200 kids in line who are screaming.

  45. I agree it’s super weird to sale a item of them nature, but I’m actually very pro menstrual cups. They are a huge cost saver verses tampons or pads and they lessen our footprint on the earth. I’ll be honest, I’m a very environment friendly focused person and even buy tubeless toilet paper – Not bragging, the end of the roll is pretty annoying.

  46. My hat is off to anyone using them and experiencing success with them, and Yay Environment, but Physics and I just don’t get along on this one, because the thing kind of hooks above the pelvic bone up in there for security, and maybe uses suction, too, until you bend over to get a rock out of your shoe or pick up a $20 bill you see on the sidewalk, and then because it doesn’t come in fourteen sizes that you calculate using an Amazon Basics Telescoping Cootch Light and a mirror and a (very soft) measuring tape, Physics betrays you and you get Apocalyptic Gush and it’s so not worth that $20 bill and No.

  47. I hate to bring this up but a) Livejournal is still a thing (sorry), b) they have a menstrual cup forum, and c) you CAN buy and sell gently used cootch funnels. 😕

  48. Okay, so, the blood buckets totally work, even for those of us whose morning routine involves spilling coffee on ourselves. Apparently, crotches have better motor skills, or something. But what doesn’t work, is trying to change it before you drink the morning coffee– because then the clumsy hands come into play, and if you drop that shit, the whole bathroom looks like a fucking crime scene. Fun fact: I’m the friend you want when you need to clean up after the murder, I’ve got LOADS of experience.

  49. When you work in an office full of men…….and you might die laughing, but you can’t say why.

  50. For those saying why would you get one and not need it… Maybe they bought both sizes and the first size fit fine, maybe they got an iud or hysterectomy and it wasn’t needed anymore, maybe they got a couple brands and liked the one they tried first… I would hesitate selling our buying this way, but I was gifted used reusable menstrual pads and used them, so as long as you wash it is fine. I mean, it’s more sterile than sex, so it’s not a big deal!

  51. So I just googled “How does a menstrual cup work”:

    As with tampons, gently insert the folded cup into your vagina, tilting it back to the base of your spine. The cup should sit as low as it can comfortably sit inside your vagina, normally lower than a tampon but with the stem fully inside. When the cup is inside, it will pop open, creating a light suction.

    I mean, I’m gay, so I don’t always understand the ins and outs (so to speak) of lady gardens, but… wouldn’t you not want something popping in there? That seems chancy at best.

  52. I wonder what your male fans think of this shit? They are probably all grossed out. HAHA
    I tried one years ago but was it was beyond awkward. I threw it away but in hindsight, maybe I should have sold it?!? Maybe it is a generational thing like underwear vs. thongs?

  53. I saw a similar post in my area and was a bit WTF mixed with Is this new?
    Then, like it was somehow PMS Awareness week or something, I had a friend tell me all about these cups on Facebook and how I sooooo needed them….it was just easier to unfollow her. Who needs that kind of wacko in their life? Probably the same wackos who would buy these from an online garage sale!

  54. Team tiny blood bucket all the way. Been like 6 years and I haven’t looked back.

  55. Hahahaha! These comments are so awesome. I use a blood bucket, and it rocks, actually, but if I hadn’t used one before I’d have the very same questions. I still have some questions. Like, why is the blood bucket lavender? Mine is clear. Also, WHO THE HELL SELLS A MENSTRAL CUP IN AN ONLINE GARAGE SALE???

    But, seriously. Don’t be afraid of the blood bucket. It’s freeing.

  56. Two important points:
    1) I love my blood buckets and have used them for 15 years.
    2) Horrifically, there are Facebook groups dedicated to the resale of such blood buckets. “New in package” doesn’t scratch the things people got out there.

  57. If I still needed such a thing I wouldn’t try it. I’m sure I’d be too clumsy on the exit

  58. I’m just going to say that if you are sanitizing your blood bucket by boiling it in water make sure it does not boil dry because you will have a silicon fire. You’ll have horrible soot that sticks to everything until you move. Total bonding moment with the Mr who was fascinated by the material properties after the fire was put out of course.

  59. I had to send you an email in response to this. I totally received a similar item as a Christmas gift. Yes, I did say GIFT. I needed to add the picture to do it justice and couldn’t here. Think urine funnel for women complete with instructions.

  60. Maile, of your book fame? Because there can’t be two… Do not let your love and admiration of her cause her to be taxidermied b/c it won’t work as you think it does.

  61. 1) They’re awesome. 9 years and loving how much money and cotton/material I’ve saved.
    2) They’re NOT for you if you have fibroids.. or at least just be prepared to change it a zillion times (though no more than a tampon or a pad in that situation).
    3) I have the Lunette one because at the time it was the smallest cup made and the livejournal community (I think?) helped me figure out that was the size for me. Different brands have different sizes, but you can find a chart of sizes and it helps you pick your brand.
    4) I bought mine online and it shipped from Utah.
    5) Maybe the person just had the ick factor and didn’t want to try it? It definitely looks NIB (haha).
    6) That’s a GREAT price on it. Mine was $40, but I’m too lazy to see how much they are now.

  62. I had a Diva cup… they put a little pressure all around my cervix and it felt like the cramps were eased a bit. Emptying them is the hardest part- you want to practice at home with work-type tights around your knees to get a feel of how to perform the move when out in the work of office washrooms. You don’t want to sheepishly emerge on your path to the sinks with toilet paper stuck to your Lady Macbeth’d hands, forced to say “Wow, these cups, amiright? Hey what are you bringing for Amanda’s baby shower?”
    Maybe take some flushable hand wipes into the stall with you.

    Also, I was a houseguest and the host’s dog immediately got into my luggage, removed the cup and frisked gaily around the living room (and all of us) with it in her mouth. So, there’s that.

  63. At the risk of commenting on something I know little about, if they can make a diaphragm that keeps sperm out, surely they can make a cup that can keep a relatively small amount of blood in.

    I can see where some might find them gross, but a used tampon or sanitary pad is no prize either. Obviously, from the comments, some women find them useful and just the thing.

    Also, I think the comment in the ad about being in the original packaging was to indicate that it was unused. If not, then eww.

  64. Happy Hoo Ha Hat Day! I started a longer comment but it got totally out of control. So decided to leave it at that.

  65. I was pretty confused by this at first, but after reading the comments, I want to know where this danged thing was before I went through menopause. Dang it.

  66. Megan said “I wonder what your male fans think of this shit?”
    We are just glad we are MALE. It doesn’t gross me out – but my brother would have turned red and had a sudden need to be elsewhere. (Like when our niece mentions her period.) Oh yeah, he is married (twice so this is wife 2.0) and has a grown daughter.
    Probably, if I were female, this is something I would try. Uh, but I would buy it on Amazon. LOL

  67. And oh yeah, I considered looking for a youtube “how to video” – but that was only a VERY fleeting thought – I did not add it to my “bucket list.”

  68. Oh my gracious, you make me laugh so much!! But, to be honest, I don’t really know what to do with those either. I mean, how do you handle it at work? Cteepy…

  69. I have family members who used to re-gift the worst Christmas presents from the year before—for a long time it was the same gift that went the rounds for years and years and frequently the same person received it several times over. Right up until that rack of coat hooks made it to me and we kept it and hung it proudly by our back door. It was a row of different kinds of dogs’ butts and the tails were where you hung your coat. I suspect it might be to your liking as well even though they weren’t taxidermied butts. ANYWAY, I’m thinking that little cooch ditty would be a great present to restart that tradition…

    And by the way Jenny, should I be afraid to ask what that is splattered on your face in the pictures to the left of the text of this blog now?

  70. I know lots of women swear by them. They definitely seem like they’d be great as long as you don’t have certain medical problems (e.g. fibroids or a particularly heavy flow), but I have heard stories of them getting stuck. Presumably this can be avoided with experience, but I do not envy the woman who goes through it:
    http://helloflo.com/my-menstrual-cup-got-stuck/

  71. Chin hairs, crepey skin, age spots….but no need for a blood cup, so there’s that! Seems to me that the place to remove one of these babies is at home in the shower, with the water running. Okay, so it could result the scene out of Psycho, but running water would make cleanup a snap. Thanks for making me laugh.

  72. Sooo many questions! Like… can you not return it?! Because I use menstrual cups and there was one that was “not my size”… but… like… how do you know if you don’t try it?! And… did you try it and then just seal it back and then… WHY?
    Also, I did once have to change mine at work and it went EVERYWHERE and so it briefly looked liked I murdered someone in the stall. So embarrassing.

  73. I can’t really say anything against it because so many people seem to like them so much better then the other options, but it’s just not for me. I squick over tampons, I’m apparently one of the only people who still regularly uses pads, so this is definitely a no-go for me.Regardless, I don’t think buying menstrual products from any place other then an actual store is a good idea….

  74. Fun fact, you can learn to empty your bucket using vag muscles only…hands free. Now that’s talent. (At least the Instead soft brand, not sure about the pointy hat one).

  75. Have used a menstrual cup for years. Love it. Size generally determined by have had children and haven’t had children.

  76. I would so pay just to continue getting to read texts between you and your friend! This made me laugh harder than the Huffpost Funniest Mom Tweets of the Week! 😂🤣

  77. OK, back in the OLD days (before Menopause) I would have cramps so hard I would expel a tampon. I can only imagine what expelling a blood bucket would look like!!

  78. I love my cooch funnel (which should totally be the official name). And yes, I use a size Large, because I’ve shoved tiny humans out of my hoo-ha (no lasers involved)
    Doesn’t need emptying as often as a tampon needs changing, I don’t need access to a waste basket (just rinse in cold water or dry off with paper), don’t need to remember to bring pads or tampons – and best of all it reusable, so I get to be super righteous about saving the environment and all.

  79. I’ve compared mine to a shot glass and sometimes tell my husband, “Hang on a sec, I need to empty the Jell-O shot.” But after reading this, I feel compelled to start saying, “Time to dump out the ol’ blood bucket.”

  80. Lol! The seller’s icon looks like a teenage boy playing a trombone. Poor kid has no idea his mom is hocking blood buckets with his image attached.

  81. Whoever has the royal warrant for the Queen’s cooch funnel had better be careful, just remember what happened to the Queen’s royal bra fitter when they blabbed.
    Or leaked…which is sick but more applicable here

  82. Omg! I live in Boerne, I’m super suspicious of everyone here now. Who has a blood bucket hidden somewhere?

  83. OMG. When I sneeze I shoot out the tampon and pee myself — this this has disaster written all over it. Ick.

  84. We’re going to need a bigger bucket! 50 shades of red part don’t take a deuce

  85. I recently read an article about this item, apparently it is to be used by women without the financial means to buy menstrual pads or tampons, I believe it has been introduced in Pakistan.

  86. And do they come in sizes? How do you if you are buying the right size? And remember the song – Hole in my bucket dear Liza, dear Liza?

  87. Ok,this is a HILARIOUS conversation, however the blood bucket is the absolute BEST invention for women ever. It actually works and doesn’t leak….provided you have it in correctly and empty it before it’s full. There is no nasty bloody garbage. Surprisingly, it is way less gross to dump out a cup of your blood than to dispose of a bloody tampon or pad. NO GARBAGE, NO WASTE, NO TOXIC CHEMICALS IN YOUR COOCH, NO RUNNING OUT OF FEMININE HYGIENE SUPPLIES, NO RISK OF TSS. it’s not going to fall out or get lost up there. You can put it in before Aunt Flo even arrives. You get to know your flow. I have had zero cramps since I started using a blood bucket. I carry one in my purse and have a second at home. I spent $40 on my diva cup over 2 years ago and that is all I have spent on my period.
    Sort of, I also invested in Thinx underwear. Which is a whole other period rant of delight. Finally, products that actually make periods not the worst thing ever. I will absolutely be purchasing blood buckets and period undies for my girls when they start their periods.
    Thank you for giving me a reason and a public forum to express my love for the cup!

  88. Thank you! My friend and I are dying over this! You should send your friend some glad rags and see what she says. Google glad rags. I’m all for the environment but I just can’t! No cootch funnel, no glad rags (who the hell is glad about a bloody rag?!) Nope, Nope, Nope!

  89. “Am I the only one who wonders how she figured out it was the wrong size?”

    Let’s hope she bought two.

  90. Along with the orig text conversation, comment 96 is LMFAO funny.
    Seriously, I can not stop laughing. I can picture myself coming out of a bathroom stall with sticky blood and toilet paper on my hands, only to find someone already at the sink. This is fucking hilarious!
    So glad I’m not getting visit from Aunt Flo anymore!

  91. How to get the right size:
    Find a willing male who has the proper….equipment. Get a tape measure and a Sharpie pen. Ask the male to …breathe heavily. Mark the inches on his equipment with the Sharpie. Measure around the equipment to get the appropriate diameter. Indulge in some “Insert A in B. Repeat. Repeat……”. Look to see which Sharpie inch marks have smudged. That length measurement plus the diameter should give you a good idea of the size you might need. Be forewarned that any attempt to just ask the male for the measurements will result in seriously exaggerated numbers.

  92. Yes yes yes. I endorse and adore this late night inappropriate weird fest convo with your BFF. Classic! I join the intimidated club when it comes to using the lady cup. How does one take it out of their south pole without looking like Carrie afterwards? I can’t imagine that thing stays perfectly right side up. Hello tipped uterus! I also don’t want to have to be Indiana Jones-ing that thing whilst trying to empty it. No thanks! Ain’t no one got time for that!

  93. OMG! I needed this today! 😊 Thank you so much! I too can’t imagine my clumsy self being able to carry a cup of blood in my lady garden, much less trying to remove it without dumping it everywhere.

  94. I am close to being done with all that, and I am not interested in trying to get used to something new at this point. There is one brand of tampons that work mlm for me, and I pray to God they don’t make major changes to them before I cease the monthly blood letting. I will present them as an option to my daughters when they begin menstruating, though. That much I am willing to do.

  95. I have seen these, but never used one. I can’t see a reason why I would want to either. When I did have use of something to catch my lady garden juice, trying something that was messy and had the potential for making a huge bloody mess was not what came to mind.

  96. “Diva Cup,” that’s what it’s called. My environmentally friendly sister-in-law said she used to use one but stopped after she had kids. Because of the vast amount of trivial yet useful knowledge I learn on this site, I was able to tell her that she should simply change sizes to a large. She was stunned and amazed at my seemingly unending supply of useful facts. Thanks guys!

  97. Hubby suggested “that cup thingie” to me once since pads cause the lady parts to swell and itch (allergic to something) but I settled in expensive “hippie pads” that were all natural. I found tampons painful so I can’t imagine the problems with a cup thingie. Even the doc nixed an IUD based on that. I’ve never been gladder for menopause, which I wanted to get as soon as I learned of periods.

  98. I accidentally let this sit in my inbox a day or two until I can’t sleep before church and my 1st-3rdgrade Sunday School Class tomorrow, so I decided to read this. Now. I love you, Jenny, because you are crazy AF and you NEVER know what to expect from you and somehow I now feel like I can sleep. WTF? Maybe it’s because in all your blood bucket discussion I became acutely content with the rod jammed up my Lady Garden which has ended the need for such yucky devices. (Thank you IUD) So thank you for the peace of mind that I can now sleep blood-bucket-free-dreams.
    I mean WHO THE HELL WOULD SELL THAT? OR WIRSE, BUY IT? But I think that was your point. Or the funnel of discussion as it were.

  99. ive read about these, and the people who actually use them rave about ’em. I think you need to be a special soul to even try one, and hats off to anyone who does. Or is. Or whatever.
    Trying to imagine buying one of these at, say, KMart, and having the sales clerk (oh, male, of course) look at it, look at you, glance away…you know he wants to ask…no. just no.

  100. I found out where they are made…

    “Bloody Bucket Road isn’t the real name of this sinister road in Wauchula, but that’s what everybody calls it because of allegations of what happened there many years ago. There is also a bridge called Bloody Bucket Bridge that is connected to the story of this road, but whether or not any of the legend is factual or fiction is hard to determine.This paved road runs south off of Main Street in Wauchula and in the daytime doesn’t really look all that threatening, but drive farther down this road and cross the bridge and things start looking a little different, at least in the moonlight.”

    Until you find out they make fancy ass blood buckets there. (My addition)

  101. Ironically, I can tell you how this happens.

    Once upon a time, not so very long ago, I travelled home to see family, and I was expecting Auntie Flo, so I put my blood bucket on the counter, intending to pack it…and left it there, because of course I did! So, I arrive home sans blood bucket and being the crazy tree hugger that I am, I decided it was more practical to go buy a second blood bucket instead of other bloodsorbtion methods…and then Auntie Flo did not show until we got back home, because that is just how life works, is it not? Plus, we lost the receipt, so now I have two blood buckets. I don’t need two.

    I will admit I hadn’t considered selling it. Uh, does anyone here want a blood bucket? It is new! Unused! Definitely in the OG packaging! No velvet bag though. Sorry. Just some cheap polyester knockoff.

  102. I have a probable explanation based on my own experience that is much less exciting than your post. I ordered a Diva Cup from an online retailer and they sent me size 1. After reading the size of the box, it mentions that size 2 is recommended for women over 35 or women that have given birth. Well, no babies here but I was 36. The return policy doesn’t allow me to send it back for an exchange, so they send me a size 2. So, if it all worked out, I would have had an unused cup that needed a new home. However, after trying out the big cup, it was extremely uncomfortable and induced cramps. It was too large for my anatomy and I have learned that vagina sizes are not based on age, though Diva Cup gives the magic age of 35 of when your vagina gets cavernous. I am in love with the cup now (original purchase of the size 1). I honestly can’t believe the years of expense, waste, and leakage that I put up with before this purchase.

  103. I do not understand the cups. I don’t. My friends swear by them, that they’re “not messy” and “so convenient” but how is this big rubber thing convenient? And how is dumping it out NOT messy? No thank you. To all of this.

  104. Your squirrelly fortune teller definitely needs a miniature blood bucket in her wagon! Traveling through the country side, where would she properly dispose of tampons or pads.

  105. OH, dear lord… it’s cherry blossom season and I am choking on pollen as it is, but if I’m found dead tomorrow please reference Lady Garden on my tombstone.

  106. Oh! I potentially have an explanation! So I recently purchased a cooch funnel, as you call it, and honestly I hate it, but that isn’t the point. The point is, the website I ordered from had two sizes, and instructions on how to judge your size, but whenm I ordered, I had the option of getting one in each size for the price of one. I did it, and gave a friend the extra one, but maybe she got the same kind of deal? Like, I never opened it because I got it KNOWING it was the wrong one, but it was free with the one I did want.

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