Yesterday I bought a melon but the clerk told me to go get another one because they were having “a BOGO sale” and I was confused but he explained that “BOGO” is short for “Buy One, Get One” and I said that that’s not really a “sale” since every time you buy a melon you get a melon because that’s how shopping works.  And then the clerk was like, “No, it’s buy one, get one free” and then I was like, “Well wouldn’t that be BOGOF?” and he agreed but said that he likes “BOGO” because it’s fun to say and I agree except “BOGOF” is also fun to say and if you yell it at customers as they pass through it sort of sounds like you’re telling them to fuck off but in sort of a Britishy way and that would very attention-getting and probably therapeutic.  He stared at me like I was crazy but I wasn’t the one incorrectly selling melons so I think we’re probably square.


119 thoughts on “BOGO

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Ah, hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I totally needed this today!

  2. We think we used to light BOGOF candles when we were camping to keep mosquitoes away. Didn’t work.

  3. I totally agree with you. And though I’ve never said it out loud, BOGOF would be WAY more satisfying.

  4. What if you only WANTED one melon? I mean, I’m confused here. But I do like the cadence of BOGOF, I have to agree.

  5. My wife and I joke that we got our twins BOGO at the IVF clinic! LOLZ

  6. In Ireland we say BOGOF. =) I can’t get on board with BOGO at all. What happens if something’s ‘buy one get one half off’? Too confusing!

  7. Young Me made an argument for BOGAF (buy one get ANOTHER free) and tried to convince my mother—whom I believed had some authority over the issue—to make that important change. I was told I needed to discuss it with my math teacher, for reasons that made no sense to me at the time. Looking back, I recall that she sort of hated him for sending home work with instructions to “ask a parent for help” at the top… which I think we can all agree is a dick move, so yeah, he should have got the BOGAF conversation.

    I’ve lost track of my point, but I’ll bet if you think about it there’s someone at your daughter’s school who needs to hear about BOGOF.

  8. Also, BOGO is also sometimes used for buy one, get one half-off. In which case he could holler “BOGOHO!” at people, which should also be fun.

  9. Right??? Plus, what if I don’t WANT a second whatever thingy is “BOGOF”…can I just get the one I got for half the price? THAT would be a sale. But, nooooo. Also, I think today I will just randomly yell “BOGOF” at people, as therapy. If I end up in jail, you’ll bail me out, right??? 😉

  10. Yeah, bogg off is totally something I used to say to my brother when mum was listening (instead of what I WANTED to say 🙂

  11. And you know that cashier was probably barely 16 and thinking quietly to themselves “WTF?” until they really thought about it and realized that you were right. It may have changed their life forever. 🙂

  12. I once totally freaked out a store clerk because I refused to take the additional free item -because I neither wanted nor had any use for more than the other be. Then there are the paint store clerks who cannot understand buying 2 quarts for basically the same price as a gallon, because I don’t want an extra half gallon to store or throw away.

  13. Let’s see how fast I get fired yelling bogof at people. I’ve already been pretending my name is bill for no reason what so ever. Every time a customer asks me how I got the name Bill I come up with a different answer. My fav is its short for Billionaire my mom wanted to give me life goals :0)

  14. As soon as I said BOGOF in my mind my first thought was “ I could never say that and not change it to Fuck Off or Bug Off or some combination of the two. Since I say Fuck Off regularly I suppose it wouldn’t really matter except I do tend to watch my language at the grocery store. My closest store is the Geriateic Publix so there is no need to give anyone a heart attack or cause someone to stop short in an aisle and cause someone else to fall and break a hip.

  15. I’m British and we actually do use BOGOF for but one get one free. And no, the similarity to bog off is not lost on us either.

  16. Although BOGO is not really borken, I like BOGOF better, so, yes, BOGO could use some fixen . . .

  17. Damn! Someone beat me to the “nice melons” comment.

    Perhaps I’m just a crotchety old broad (damn kids — get off my lawn!), but I’ve never really gone for the abbreviations — BOGO, FROYO, YOLO, J-LO, LAUREL/YANNI…

  18. Do clerks ever look at you when you walk into stores and you can hear them thinking…”Oh, yeah, it’s her again.” lol Keep up the free association thinking!

  19. Where I grew up in Yorkshire, England, “Bog off” was a common playground insult. A step up from the elementary “Buzz off!” and prior to being bold enough to use the F word!
    Bog is also slang for toilet. I still chuckle when I see BOGOF on grocery store signs here in Canada!

  20. A second melon sounds like anxiety waiting to happen. Who has the time to worry about eating two full melons in the nic of time? He isn’t doing you any favors; you’re definitely square.

  21. I never encountered BOGO until I moved to Massachusetts. Seems like everything up here is BOGO. They also have a variant that’s BOGO 50% off. So it’s like buy one get half of one.

  22. Even worse if when it’s “Buy One, Get One Half Price” which would be BOGOHP, and that sounds like the name of some weird-ass fairy tale giant: “Then Bogoph noticed that Jack was stealing his melons and he chased him down the melonstalk while the goose that laid the golden cantaloupe looked on and hissed like the stupid cobra chicken that it was!”

  23. “Then Bogohp noticed…” jeez, it was my joke–you think I could at least spell the damned giant’s name correctly.

  24. BOGOF! Buy One Get Another F#ck! Yep, for any prostititititititues — what? some people pay for tities! — who are looking for a way to broaden their clientele base or what have you, and this acronym speaks for itself! 🙃

  25. That second one is going to go bad before I get ’round to eating it so it really should be BOFFAGOTWA (buy one for food and get one to waste away) but that wouldn’t fit on a sign so I’m a much bigger fan of 50% OFF!

  26. I agree with your wholeheartedly. (great now you will probably go off on “wholeheartedly” too! sigh)
    I totally agree with the other commenter about “I don’t want or need two, so just give me this one for half price!” BOGOF Cashier!

  27. In Israel they call it a 1+1 sale. Took me a while to figure out what that meant.

  28. In Israel they call it a 1+1 sale. Took me a while to figure out what that meant.

  29. You’re right, Jenny, of course. It should be BOGOF. The store owner isn’t being logical.

  30. I always say BOHOF and it should be BOGOHO when it’s but one get one half off. Stores are liars when they say it’s BOGO and it’s really BOGOHO.

  31. I agree and it clearly defines the “Get One”. Like “Get One” WHAT?
    Love your humor and your posts. Thank you. Keep healing, bringing us joy and keep those store clerks in check”

  32. I’m guessing the clerk was a millenial. Because young people are totally willing to have a conversation like this.

  33. I’m sure you leave so many people you deal with in public, scratching their heads. Or at the very least, make it into their casual dinner talk. I like to do that to people in public. I can say something sarcastic or weird with no expression on my face and they don’t know how to take that. LOL Most of the time people think I’m serious. Thank you for being you Jenny!

  34. I agree…BOGOF is way more fun to say than BOGO.

    I kind of needed this today..transitioning back to real life from vacation is HARD and the last two days it’s been squishing me into the ground like somebody just threw a really heavy weighted blanket on me. I was able to drag myself out of bed long enough to do a few things I HAD to do (pick up books I had on hold at the library, buy Vaseline for my nasty ass dry feet and some lip balm that smells like a Coke) and I’m going to make every effort to get all the shit done I NEED to get done tomorrow.

  35. Another Brit confirming we use bog off! at least as often as shops use BOGOF.

  36. I think the correct term is B1G1F which is pronounced big-if, but is not nearly as fun to say as BOGOF which I will now be using exclusively, so thank you.

  37. I used to work retail. Totally hated BOGO. BOGOF is much better. I also have had clerks who can’t deal with me only wanting ONE item that is BOGOF. I did actually get the manager to give me 50% off instead. But just the once.

  38. Now I just want to wander around shouting bogof at random people

  39. I always think that when I see BOGO. I mean, how many would I expect to get when I buy one? Of course, I’m also someone who hates signs that say “Raised Manholes”, because I can’t figure out how a hole can be “raised”.

  40. With the Midwestern accent it would probably sound too much like we’re telling our customers to bug off. We can’t do that on the sales floor! 😂

  41. We actually do call it BOGOF in England – I seem to recall there was a TV ad a few years back where they used it as an opportunity to say “bog off” a LOT!

  42. The same happened to me, however the person at the register was not as “bright”.
    Her: Sir. it’s by one get one.
    Me: No shit.
    -Sir, it’s by one get one.
    Me: Uhu.
    -Sir, you have to get the other one.
    Me: The other what?
    -The other bottle.
    Me: What other bottle?
    -Today is buy one get one on all alcoholic beverages.
    Me: So what, on the rest of the days people pay and just leave empty handed?
    -What? No, sir..
    Me: I’m fucking with you. But do you get why what you’re saying doesn’t make sense?
    -What do you mean, sir?
    Me: Yeah.. I don’t have time for this. Have a wonderful day.
    -Sir, do you not want your bottle anymore?
    Me: Fuck no.

  43. I’ve always said this, and always got the same reaction you did!! Thank you!!!!!!!!

  44. Am I the only one doing my best Beavis and Butthead voice saying, “You said melons!”???

  45. Thank you! I’m not a big fan of acronyms in general and this one drives me crazy (well, crazier). I will now join your chorus of BOGOF!

  46. You will not be surprised to learn that we brits call it BOGOF. We also tell each other to bog off when aggravated.

  47. A recent encounter with this melon situation in my neighborhood grocery store left me wanting to scream BOGOF!!! I did not want TWO melons , I wanted ONE melon because I’m the only one in the household who eats them therefore the second melon would have been inedible before I would have consumed all of the first huge one t My request was to simply discount the existing melon that I did want to buy 50% rather than giving me one that would go to waste. Yes I could have gifted the OF to some melonless person but my pain meds were wearing off so I ended up leaving without a melon thinking to myself “go BOGOF!!!’ “

  48. BOGO is what happens with normal shopping items – Buy One, Get One.
    I buy a thing, I get a thing.

    BOGOF is the special offer – Buy One, Get One Free
    I get two things for the price of one thing.

    Thanks for the story 🙂

  49. You could have probably gotten one melon for half price. Some stores will do that when they have BOGO(F). And just for the record, it took me forever to figure out that AYCE was code for “all you can eat.” I thought it was some new style of baby back ribs. Go figure. TMA (Too many acronyms).

  50. I alway feel ripped off at a BOGO sale. And why the hell would I want 2 melons? Why not give me 50% off my 1st melon? Are the melons getting old and they want to dump them on us? Just because I am a cheap old bachelor who only occasionally like melons doesn’t mean you can make me buy two. That make them even more of a cheap bastard then I am. BOGO/BOGOF KEEP YOUR DAMNED MELONS . How about a BOGGOGF on rdt. Buy one gallon Get one gallon free of Red Table Wine… Just sayin…

  51. That clerk probably doesn’t know how lucky he was to have you in his check out line.
    Also, thanks for the “be careful out there” post the other day. Thanks to you I paid extra attention to what I was doing all day and, in this astrologically challenging time that could only be a good thing. Love you.

  52. I’ve always hated it when stores advertise a BOGO, but they mean “Buy One, Get One Half Off.” Isn’t that a BOGO HO?

  53. My daughter is married to a Brit and I thought this was really funny!

    As for Jenny Kubeck’s comment (#100), a BOGO HO is a HO who works a slow night like Tuesday, because she needs the money. Or it might just be someone who likes sales. You never know.

  54. I hate BOGO anything.
    If I buy one, and get one free, I am paying “Half off” of two.
    But, what if I don’t WANT two?
    Just sell me one for half off.
    I agree with Post One, from Anonymous.
    We do not deserve you. <3

  55. Well, that didn’t happen correctly.
    Post 103 should have had my ID on it. :/

  56. My $0.02 on the matter has been that the acronym should be BOGT — buy one/get two.
    But not as fun as BOGOFF.

  57. British here. Can also confirm BOGOF is the accepted expected phrase. Said in both contexts on a daily basis by me. Example sentence;
    ‘Oi! Bog Off! Those are my BOGOF melons, go get your own and put them in your own shopping trolley.’

  58. Us Britishy people really do call it BOGOF (pronounced “Bog Off”). It’s a thing here. And they say the Brits are polite!

  59. ‘Bog Off’ really is a polite British way of telling someone to F*** Off, we use it all the time.

  60. I’m going to start yelling BOGOF to people when they piss me off. Nicely done!

  61. I once did twenty minutes with a McDonalds drive through attendant who couldn’t grasp that I only wanted one apple pie when they were two for a dollar.
    “I’d like one pie”
    “They’re two for a dollar.”
    “yes, i’d like one.”
    “They’re two for a dollar”
    It was long enough ago (like more than a week)that I don’t remember how it ended except that I have this story so it was totally worth either a fifty cents or several hundred extra calories.

  62. Bogof is funny. I’m British and it does have a twang of Englishness about it.I have never used the phrase, yet it wouldn’t sound peculiar coming from a posh twit saying to his chum ‘Oh, Bénédicte just bogof !

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