Not sure what’s “traditional” about this, but I still love it.

So I got a couple of copies of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened in traditional Chinese recently and I love the cover but I just took a closer look at the back and it’s my favorite thing ever:

The front.

And the back:

That’s me with my arm jammed in a spermy cow vagina as my sister dressed as a giant hawk tries to pull me out and it’s all over China.

That’s it, y’all.  I’ve finally made it.

77 thoughts on “Not sure what’s “traditional” about this, but I still love it.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Once you make it big in China, you’ve made it big everywhere. Good to see you have AI skills for cattle.

  2. I have to stop reading your posts at work. It’s hard to explain the laughter from my cubicle. 😆

  3. ‘My arm jammed in a spermy cow vagina as my sister dressed as a giant hawk tries to pull me out’ sounds like what you might get if you ask Google to translate ‘Hello and Happy New Year’ from English to Mandarin via the Icelandic.

    Congratulations Jenny, I think you’re going to make a unique contribution to East-West relations.

  4. At one point you did want a picture of you with your arm in the cow…now you have a drawing!!!

  5. Surreal. I understand part of it, but why is your sister dressed as a hawk? (It’s been a while since I read LPTNH).

    And what’s with the other picture? Throwing a cat or dog at…your father??

    So many questions.

  6. I feel like the arm in the cow drawing would be on one of those bizarre clothing items Amazon likes to recommend…

  7. Well now I want to read this book more than ever. Lol. Got it for Christmas and waiting til all the crazy holiday stuff has settled down before I start because I know I will not be able to put it down.

  8. I’m SO tempted to share this with my client walking in the door. But do you think that will tip them off that I’m crazy, too? 😉 #TherapistDilemmas

  9. There’s a good limerick here somewhere, with lines ending in China and vagina.

    I’m just not sure I have the fortitude (read: enough wine) to put it together.

  10. Wow, talk about aspirations! There’s another thing on my list of things I could probably have lived without every knowing about!! 😉 Love your work!!!

  11. Omg I love it. That’s one of my favorite stories that always reminds me no matter how bad my week is at least I didn’t get my arm stuck in a cows vagina. Ps the pic of the raccoon attacking your sister is amazing too bad it wasn’t wearing jammies

  12. of all the stories I’ve been told,
    the strangest one comes from the East;
    where a student brave and bold,
    was told to impregnate a beast.
    and that is why when I’m in China,
    I stay away from cow’s vaginas.

  13. I love this so hard, Jenny! You immortalized with your arm up a cow vag on the back of your book is the best thing I’ll see on the internet this week.

  14. That. Is . Amazing! I thought it was Beyonce at first and I was super impressed they were making Beyonce part of the cow story. I have to know, are you sending a copy of this to your high-school principal?

  15. The bob cat thrown at Victor was a nice touch. Those must have been the illustrators favorite chapters 🙂

  16. I believe I’m seeing an amorous Bobcat as well, correct? 😉

    You are just about the coolest person I know (and I know some pretty nifty people!).

  17. There are no words to describe my awe. Your arm will be immortalized in Chinese Literature. You will be “Woman with Arm in Cow Vagina” forever.

  18. You now have options in the employment market, especially in China. Maybe only in China, but specialization is a good thing to have.

  19. That is definitely your dad throwing the bobcat on Victor and not your sister being attacked by raccoon. I must be a HUGE fan because I immediately knew exactly what was being illustrated. I will now listen to your audiobook, again!

  20. Will somebody please explain the sketch of the extremely large cat that is … um … on top of a person? Apparently whatever is taking place is enough to knock off one shoe and a pair of glasses. I don’t have any point of reference in my boring life to figure this illustration out!

  21. Why is your dad wearing a unitard to throw a bobcat on Victor? I have so many questions. Besides the obvious bobcat throwing ones, of course.

  22. OwnLessDoMore: let’s see…

    Jenny’s book was amazingly fine-a,
    So much it was published in China!
    With her hair all in curls
    And her wisdom in pearls
    And her arm up a cow’s vagina!

     I'm not sure about the scansion, but I think I got the syllables right.
    
     And Jenny: did you see that China has landed a space rover-type-craft on the dark side of the moon? They're planning to send another. See if they'll send copies of your book (maybe with some flashlights) for the aliens I think we all know are hiding out there. This could be your biggest marketing opportunity yet.
    

    Ruth

  23. Re: Traditional Chinese
    In the 50s and 60s, the People’s Republic of China had a government push to modernize the language. Anyone who had emigrated before then isn’t likely to be familiar with the new characters. And some people continue to prefer the old characters — particularly older readers who might not want to re-learn each word.
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Traditional_Chinese_characters
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simplified_Chinese_characters

  24. and Trump says China doesn’t support Made in America products! BOOM!
    you GO jenny – or is it Yugo-Jenny ???

  25. Such a weird coincidence… a friend just came to our house last night and had us watching episodes of “The Incredible Dr. Pol” (he’s a veterinarian) and he was doing that exact thing to cows (only it’s up the poop chute) to see if they’re pregnant. Apparently you can feel it from there… thank goodness for shoulder-length plastic gloves, is all I’m gonna say. You can watch it on YouTube if you’re interested, and knowing you, you might be. Congrats on your book in Chinese! Funny, funny stuff, those illustrations!

  26. Yeah, someone had a great idea: T-shirts! Of the front on the front and the back on the back! I want one! Good luck in China–it’s almost their new year there, in like 3-4 weeks. Books for everyone! Happy New Year–here and in China!

  27. #lifegoals <3 That is fabulous!!! I don’t read chinese, but my sister in law can, I think I have to order one of these for her, and maybe one for me just so I can show people I have the book with the best cover art ever! <3

  28. Since China will rule the world someday, and you will be as popular there as here, perhaps someday you will rule the rulers of the world. We can hope!

  29. When did you learn to do bovine OB/GYN exams? Lol And who is that getting mauled by the cat?

  30. It isn’t everyone who manages to get backcover art like this, no indeedy. I keep seeing the reality this fantasy depicts, and it won’t go away.
    You’ve made it in China, bask in the glory. (The cow, to be honest, does NOT look happy about any of this. Who could blame her)

  31. And your dad throwing a bobcat at Victor. I think this is only trumped by the book you signed for me with the Misery reference you put in the front. Thanks for that, by the way.

  32. Not wanting to take away from this amazing achievement (and it is all sorts of cool and amazing), but traditional Chinese refers to the Chinese character script, and is used in Taiwan or Hong Kong, not mainland China, where they use simplified script. It’s rather complicated…. Anyway, nice cow vagina 🤣

  33. Love the illustrations! Suggest one for each chapter; make all into traditional scroll art suitable for wall hanging. I really would like to know how your humor comes across in Chinese language and for Chinese audience — apparently it may transcend cultural boundaries….

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