I paid to get locked in a tiny room with a frustrated Victor and I’m not sure what that says about my state of mind.

So yesterday for my birthday Victor took me to an escape room because I’ve always wanted to go and I’m not sure what I was thinking because paying to get locked in a tiny room with an uber-competitive Victor who is trying to beat the record for breaking out of the room quickest is pretty much the quickest way to bring on a divorce but it was surprisingly fun except for the time we asked our hidden host for a clue because we were stuck and the clue was that we needed to use the key on the string from the box under the map but there wasn’t a key on a string stuck to the box under the map and Victor was like, “THIS ROOM IS BORKED.  SOMEONE HOSED US” and finally they stopped the timer and a lady walked in and pulled the key out of the box that we’d insisted was empty and the look on her face was identical to the one I get when Victor tells me his socks are missing I tell him to look in the dryer and he says he did and they aren’t in there and I tell him to check again and he does and accuses me of stealing them and then I go look and, don’t worry y’all, because they were in the dryer.

Long story short, we did not break the record and next time we’re bringing our own hacksaws and a bolt cutter and maybe a battering ram and a therapist.


And on an entirely different subject, it’s time for the Sunday wrap-up!

Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):


This week’s wrap-up is brought to by Sandrandan Jewelry, weird name, cool stuff. Everything in the shop is designed and made by Sandra Sutherlin, and often incorporates unusual elements such as spyglasses, compasses, sundials, and vintage pieces. Use the coupon code BLOGGESS to receive 10% off of your entire order (coupon may be used as often as you like). It’s awesome and I’ve bought a ton of pieces that I cherish from her over the years so you should check her out here.  Sandrandan Jewelry: eccentrically gorgeous jewelry; we may become your new obsession!

54 thoughts on “I paid to get locked in a tiny room with a frustrated Victor and I’m not sure what that says about my state of mind.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Next time bring Hailey. We did a room with my husband another couple and my then-17year old daughter. She was essential to solving a couple puzzles. We were lucky that we got out in the nick of time. Happy birthday!

  2. An escape room? I thought they were safe rooms and the point is that nobody can get IN, not that you have to try to get out. Or am I confused? That happens on a regular basis, so it would not be at all surprising. I know that look with the socks. I have given that look many times. I have also mentally given it to myself many times when I can’t find something I actually put away and then I go back and it’s right there. I swear, things can go into another dimension for just a little while then they come back. Ya think?

  3. Omg this was hilarious. It was like the time a lady yelled at me for not having a mirror in my store and I just pointed and said you’re standing by it. That bitch didn’t even say sorry some people

  4. I’m glad you survived the escape room, lol. In other news, that damn raccoon looked like he was having the time of his life! And for some odd reason I didn’t expect the water to be that dirty, although it did make sense.

  5. We just bought an Escape Room game that you can play at home. We did “Prison Break” last night and it was a blast because I could be in my pyjamas and drink wine. Best escape room ever!

  6. That’s funny! It must have been an invisible key! My husband did one a few months ago with his coworkers with whom he already spends way more time than he does me so I resented it and experienced some Schadenfreude that they came nowhere near escaping!

  7. We did an escape room that had a subtle “The Goonies” theme. I knew there was a clue on the skeleton, but couldn’t find it, no matter how hard I searched. Then we heard, “Please don’t undress the skeleton. He really doesn’t have the key.”

  8. I may resemble Victor a little/lot in this scenario. I’m glad you made it out alive but I feel it in my bones that you didn’t beat the best time. Happy Birthday. 😂

  9. I’ve never had any inclination to do an escape room. Knowing that there are clues available, and a key on a string in a box under a map MIGHT incline me to try one. But not with Victor, y’know?

  10. An escape room sounds like my idea of hell. I would pee in the floor. It’s the fastest way out. In fact, they kind of MAKE you leave when you do that.

  11. I wish I was a marriage counselor- I would totally start a practice/ escape room combo. It’s eithernmake a fortune or be sued for being unethical as the escape room could cause repeat visits/need for therapy! Seriously, I’m glad you got to go to one and I hope you had a happy birthday!

  12. We took my parents to an escape room for the first time last week, and twice things didn’t happen that were stopped to and they stopped the time to come fix them!

  13. I’m glad you survived the escape room. Best evidence yet that you really are meant for each other, despite Victor’s male pattern blindness. And now I want a bubble blower, because I think that would be the ultimate bath experience.

  14. I’m always afraid that I’m too “stoopid” these days and will be forever locked in the “non-escape” room. Glad you guys had fun, though! 🙂

  15. I went one time and it was fun, but it was definitely a one and done thing for me. My husband loves them, and thankfully so does his best friend, so I’m off the hook!

  16. Wouldn’t you have just died if one of the People Sharing What They Love About Others had been, “My girlfriend once let a raccoon take a bubble bath in the house, and to this day I’m not sure which one of them was more pleased.”???

  17. Me: The (insert item here) is on the second shelf from the top, on the left, about a foot from wall. It’s in a brown box. You have to lift the box down and look in it.
    Male person: “IT’S NOT THERE!”
    Me: “Here it is.”
    Male person: You didn’t say to look there

  18. In my lowly, humble opinion, all Escape Rooms would be greatly enhanced by hacksaws, a bolt cutter, and a battering ram. I doubt anyone could convince me otherwise.

  19. I don’t want to meet the monster who does not want to watch a raccoon taking a bubble bath.

  20. Not particularly interesting, but I saw she’s promoting jewelry and thought you might want to check it out.


  21. I want to be as happy as that raccoon some day. I’ll take a pass on the escape room though. Just give me a good a library and leave the door locked.

  22. We went to an escape room for my birthday last year and this year – me, my two daughters, my husband and one daughter’s boyfriend (both males are engineers). We had a blast but we also are competitive and wanted to break out in record time. The two engineers were in their glory solving puzzles and using math, while the rest of us wanted to use intuition, a bit of logic, and brute force when all else failed.

  23. To anyone who did not click on the link in comment 24: You really do want to see this slug! It’s adorable. Check it out.

  24. Ever since I heard about the escape room trend, I’ve been terrified of trying one. Good for you! I think I’d need at least 10 Zanax before I’d try it!

  25. Ha! I just replied to the birthday thread about a fantastic escape room we did yesterday for our birthday! It’s better when there’s a team – like four to six people. That’s when we’ve had the most success (my friends and I usually go with at least that many, but we’ve had up to eight… that’s a few too many in a small room). Did Hailey go with y’all? Escape rooms are great fun! Don’t despair! Not all are built equally, and some are more difficult than others. You need several people because everyone thinks differently and some puzzles are more easily figured out with different perspectives. I’m usually the one that’s good at remembering that the puzzle toward the end relates back to the one in the beginning when no one else can figure out what the symbols are supposed to mean. I’m not good at figuring out any puzzles that require math… like AT ALL. Just know your strengths and weaknesses and enjoy the diversity of the players and what each can contribute to the game. You’ll get the next one! Keep checking them out!

  26. I don’t know what’s worse… the fact that “escape rooms” are actually a thing, or that people will trust complete strangers to lock them inside one. What if there is a fire, a flood, an earthquake, an electrical surge, and the people outside the room are dead and no one knows you’re in there? Holy shit. It’s only 10AM on the first day of 2019 and I already need a drink. In a large, unlocked room. With no doors. Hell, I’m going outside.

  27. Oh, you are making me glad we skipped the escape room and hit the Rock n Roll Hall of Fame instead last week:). I have a feeling my family would have been arguing loudly . . .

  28. We do escape room for the teens at the library! They love them. Also, they’re smarter than me. If the options are “solve these puzzles” or “turn into a werewolf”, I guess I’m spending the rest of my life howling at the moon.

  29. No way whould I do this with my husband. He is way too competitive. He didn’t even want me on his team for ping pong at his family reunion.

  30. Escape rooms are mostly run by pan-dimensional beings from the Delta Quadrant who like to set humans puzzles and laugh hysterically. There was probably a small dimensional portal in the box and it didn’t manifest the key until you’d had a chance to embarrass yourselves.

  31. Interesting……..I wouldn´t do it…..but I hardly leave my house……but kudos to you and Victor……..Always love your stories……..you gave me so much….more than I can tell!

  32. Hahahaha! Awesome! I’m just such a wrong person for escape rooms. I’d just make myself comfortable there and wait to be fed or something.

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