Today I was driving over a bridge near my house and I noticed that the water level on one side of the bridge was way down from where it normally is and I saw a fish splashing around at the end who was obviously dying and stuck in just a few inches of water way down at the shallow end of the river and I considered driving on but then I felt bad because what if the fish couldn’t flop over to the deeper water by itself, so I drove down to where the fish was but I kept thinking that even if I wade out into the mud to grab the fish I have to be able to carry it to the other side of the river fast enough to not have it reverse drown so I thought I’d probably have to pick it up, run back to my car, drive to the other side of the river and throw it in from my car window and then Victor called and I was like, “I have to go. I’m working,” and he was like, “You sound weird. What are you really doing?” and I was like, “I think I have to give a fish a ride in my car and I need to have both hands free so I can hold him” and then he was like, “What” and I was like, “I HAVE FISH TO SAVE” but then I got to the edge of the water and I couldn’t see any fish and suddenly a duck popped out of the water and apparently the duck had been pretending to be a needy fish and didn’t need my help at all.
So, long story short, today I didn’t have to drive with a floppy panicked fish in my lap and I sort of want to celebrate that because sometimes I think it’s a good idea to celebrate all the stuff that didn’t happen to you.
Did you not sprain your ankle today? Did you not get attacked by geese? Were you not get arrested for public indecency again? CELEBRATE. These are all wins, y’all. And you deserve them all.