Name that bear

This weekend I made a new friend and live-tweeted it and it was glorious and terrifying:


So basically I thought I had a great bear name and then I saw all the other great bear names and now we need a new poll.  Also, the bear is gender neutral at the moment and I’m gonna need a line on a triple-XL kilt probably.

 

138 replies. read them below or add one

  1. Wow, two people happy by just moving a taxidermied bear from one place to another. I love how she is wearing her jeans. That may be a new fashion trend there.

    Liked by 2 people

    Gaz the Human Macrophage recently posted Tempest Platter at Tempest Seafood Restaurant and Teppanyaki Grill.

  2. Based solely on the shirt, I voted Matthew McClawnaughey. I suspect I am not the only one, since that choice is in first place (for now, but I think only 8 or 9 people have voted so far).

    Liked by 3 people

  3. I’m getting a total John Travolta vibe but that doesn’t yield a good name so never mind.

    Liked by 1 person

    Lille recently posted i hope scorpions eat your mailbox.

  4. Victor definitely knows how to ring your chimes! He bears you well!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The shirt did influence my vote. The shriveled up nutsack though….

    Like

  6. This was the best ever. Victor knows you so well and I can’t wait to see what you dress it in.

    Like

  7. I love how you can so easily identify a bear’s nutsack. The penis was obvious, the nutsack less so.

    Like

    Janet Coburn recently posted State of the Arts.

  8. If you need a giant kilt, you should try Poshmark.com.

    Like

  9. 9
    Darrilyn Mathson

    Matthew McClawnaughy

    Like

  10. I stay by my vote of Matthew McClaunaughey because it also says ?”hey!I’m naughty!”

    Like

  11. 12
    Anonymous

    Harry Bearafonte? Probably too late, maybe keep on file if more bears turn up.

    Like

  12. Harry Bearafonte? Probably too late, maybe keep on file if more bears turn up.

    Like

  13. 14
    Anonymous

    Jesus Fucking Christ…. this is both my name suggestion and my reaction. Just think… every person surprised by the bear’s presence in your home will already know their name! ” JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!” “OH, you’ve met!” See?

    Liked by 2 people

  14. 15
    Laura Burns

    Clark Grizzwold

    Liked by 2 people

  15. 16
    Libby Melugin

    Jesus Fucking Christ…. this is both my name suggestion and my reaction. Just think… every person surprised by the bear’s presence in your home will already know their name! ” JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!” “OH, you’ve met!” See?

    Liked by 2 people

  16. If you put a kilt on it, I vote for Sean Clawnery or Sean Bearghan

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Captain Ahibernate. In honor of the missing foot.

    Like

  18. 19
    Beth Clifford

    Since I assume he’ll take a place of prominence in your bookstore:

    Billy Shakesbear?

    Like

  19. 20
    Anonymous

    The first name I thought of was Bearthew McBearny…before I read your list of names.

    Like

  20. No one thought of Beary White? Because that bear can clearly not get enough of your love. Baby.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. 22
    Chris boyle

    Bearny Fife. You can give him ONE bullet.

    Like

  22. I’m definitely a Matthew McClawnaughy supporter. It’s too bad you couldn’t call him Roary, but that would get confusing:-)

    Like

    mydangblog recently posted My Week 244: The Need To Exorcise.

  23. 24
    Katharine Whitman

    Beary Fisher?

    Like

  24. You have the best Twitter conversations! 😂 You also have the best Husband. Aside from The Viking, of course. It sounds like they do a lot of gift shopping from the same source though.

    Like

    Mrs. Completely recently posted A Viking Lawn Mowing Competition.

  25. Bear naked lady

    Like

  26. Matthew mcClawnaughey. No doubt about it. Especially now that he’s doing that whole Magic Mike thing on your floor.

    Like

  27. I’m still feeling like Benedict Cumberbear or Bearnadict Cumberbatch might be this bear’s name, especially if a kilt is coming into play…
    I’m also wondering if this bear is Texan? If so I feel like there might be some potential names from Texas history in play. I know this isn’t helping narrow the field. Also, I feel like this needs to be an ad for Facebook marketplace.

    Like

    knockingonfortysdoor recently posted Bag of Hair Blues….

  28. Bear O’Ness. Nessie for short & rocks a kilt.

    Like

  29. 30
    Anonymous

    I’m not sure who suggested Ron Bearemy but I bow down to their brilliance.

    Liked by 2 people

  30. If you do put him in a kilt, how about Robert Bearns? Robbie to his friends. He could be the mascot for your bookstore.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. 32
    Anonymous

    Teddy Roarsevelt!!

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Two votes, only one counts. Hear me out, I’m not trying to stuff the ballot box.

    IF you keep the t-shirt, I feel like it kinda has to be Matthew McClawnaughey.

    If you plan on a wholesale change of dress, Ruth Bader Ginsbear, ’cause I love me some Notorious RBG. You can buy facsimiles of her collars online, you know, and then you’d just need a big-ass black robe.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. 34
    Anonymous

    Drew Bearymore

    Like

  34. I do hope he becomes your new greeter at your new library…I mean BOOKSTORE! Mona

    Like

  35. At least he didn’t hand you the NUT SACK in a paper… sack.Why does my husband never get me anything nice like this?

    Like

  36. 37
    Auntie Dawn

    After having recently watched The Good Place, I vote for Jeremy Bearimy.

    Liked by 2 people

  37. 38
    Anonymous

    Ron Bearemy. C’mon. Total bear porn star.

    Like

  38. 39
    HippoFritz

    For obscure pop culture, I don’t think you could do any better than Kerry Von Bearich after the late wrestler Kerry Von Erich, the Texas Tornado. He lost his foot in a motorcycle accident in 1986, but he hid the severity of the injury and kept wrestling with a prosthetic in his boot. Almost nobody knew about it until after he died. That’s dedication to kayfabe!

    Liked by 1 person

  39. 40
    Anonymous

    Okay but Bearison Ford because then you can dress him up like Indiana Jones

    Like

  40. 41
    Anonymous

    Drew Bearymore? Beary Williams? Beary White?

    Like

  41. Jeremy Bearemy! (It’s a joke from “The Good Place” if you haven’t seen it)

    Liked by 1 person

  42. 43
    Anonymous

    Ludwig Van Bearthoven? Hairy Pawter?

    Liked by 1 person

  43. I don’t know what its name is, but I am pretty sure it ruined its motherfucking souffle.

    Like

  44. After seeing all these name entries I thought for sure she was gonna say, ‘we need another bear!’

    Like

  45. With shirt > Matthew McClawnaughey, hands down. Without, Bearison Ford, but I can’t decide if you should then dress him up like Indy or Han. A conundrum.

    Like

  46. 47
    Anonymous

    I was thinking ‘Christine Bearanski’ or ‘Brigitte Beardot’ before you took his pants off.

    If he’s going to eventually reside in your bookstore, maybe a more literary name is in order. I like what someone else said earlier, ‘Billy Shakesbear’

    Liked by 1 person

  47. 48
    ardentpeace

    I voted, but honestly I think it should be Roarville bc he has on a shirt that says Wright on it.

    Like

  48. Wilbear Wright

    Like

  49. My bear’s name is Maury. M. Bearassed. If you’re being formal. I feel like your bear needs a good murkin to create a Chewbacca like genital coverage situation or a strategically placed fanny pack. They’re trending! https://possumscatsthingsgnawingatme.wordpress.com/2016/04/09/introducing-your-cats-to-bears/

    Like

  50. I prefer Beary Manillo or Teddy Van Halen!!

    Like

  51. Someone mentioned Sean Clawnery a while ago and I have to say I love that, especially if you put him in a kilt.

    Liked by 1 person

  52. Ruth Bearder Ginsburg.

    Like

  53. At least it’s not towels.

    Liked by 1 person

  54. 55
    Stacey Anderson

    Beary Ballsy

    Like

  55. This entire thread just makes me entirely happy. Happy! 😀

    Like

  56. 57
    Jennifer C.

    Utilikilt. https://www.utilikilts.com/ (inexpensive, well-made, and large sizes available)
    And if you go with a kilt, this bear needs a Scottish or an Irish name for sure.

    Like

  57. 58
    Anonymous

    I LOVE his boots!

    Like

  58. Hes an old bear who needs an old name… Bearney Google…you know the grandpa song right? BEARney Google, with the goo goo googly eyes.
    Perfect for taxidermny. And oh the costume possibilities. https://youtu.be/StkJTSAq0dE

    Like

  59. Bear Necessity

    Like

    judyt recently posted damnnnn.

  60. Ridiculous in the best possible way. I’m laugh-crying so hard I’m “bearly” keeping it together. How amazing is Victor?

    Like

  61. Steal an old bathrobe and put a White Russian in his paw and viola… Jeff Lewbearski.

    Liked by 1 person

  62. 63
    Jodi Nickels

    I can’t vote! There are too many good options! I think it all depends on how you ultimately decide to dress him/her. If you’re keeping the t-shirt, then obviously Matthew McClawnaughey, but with the right apparel, I think Bearison Ford and Ruth Bader Ginsbear would also be amazing. Perhaps your bear is gender- and identity-fluid and changes according to your mood? (Also, a black robe and lace collar would be super easy costume for a taxidermied bear in that condition.)

    Liked by 1 person

  63. 64
    Anonymous

    Too late, I guess, but Clawed Bearrow

    Like

  64. I don’t have a Twitter account but after reading these hilarious posts I might have to start. Definitely Matthew Mc …. and I love his Magic Mike floor act ! Love you Jenny!

    Like

  65. That is a transgender bear. Or this bear is a drag queen and wants some glam and campy outfits like those in that wonderful documentary “is Paris Burning?” although that might not be the exact name of the movie. How about Beartte Midler?

    Like

  66. If you are putting him in a kilt, you need a good Scottish name….
    How about Beary Connelly?
    Robeart the Bruce
    Robert Bearns (wrote auld lang syne…he could be your New Years mascot).
    Sir David Bearster – (Brewster…inventor of the kaleidoscope)

    Like

  67. Man, I’m thinking you need a dancing bear themed name because that is such a dance pose if I ever saw one. Mikhail Bearyshnikov springs to mind… Pawtrick Swayze, Fred Asbear, Pawla Abdul. Or a disco vibe? Beary Gibb (but that one might cause trouble because then you would HAVE to complete the trio), Chuck Beary, Beary Manilow…

    Like

  68. Franz Schubeart (who apparently died of syphilis, which might explain that whole crotch decay thing going on). All he needs is a pair of wire-rimmed spectacles. And maybe a piano.

    Like

  69. Umm, if it’s in a kilt then Sean Clawnnery.

    Like

  70. Clawna Summers

    Bearfoot Contessa

    Like

  71. Beary Manilow?

    Like

    Sheila Lester recently posted Paint, Trim and Wall Assembly.

  72. 73
    Anonymous

    What about lady Bearlyne Ursa_Major just a thought

    Like

  73. 75
    CHRISTINE MCINTYRE

    What about lady Bearlyne Ursa_Major just a thought

    Like

  74. +1 Clark Grizzwold

    Like

  75. 77
    Anonymous

    I totally think he is Marlon Bearando!

    Like

  76. 78
    Anonymous

    I think he looks like a Marlon Bearando. Or if I need to pick one from your list, Bearison Ford. But I really like Marlon Bearando.

    Like

  77. Drew Bearymore!

    Like

  78. What a guy…..I cannot believe he brought GrGrGr home for you. That episode was hilarious! Only in your house………..

    Like

  79. 81
    Anonymous

    Ursa Molter.

    Like

  80. Oh man.this cracked me up. I LOVE HIM! 😀

    Like

    mommatrek recently posted Crafty Creations–The Sea Dragon Shawl.

  81. 83
    jillharsh

    I was all about RBG, but if there is to be a kilt, Mattie McClaw is a no-brainer. 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 🐻

    Like

  82. If you’re looking for a name to go with a kilt – John Yogie Bear-d (John Logie Baird, Scottish inventor).

    Like

  83. 86
    Anonymous

    Definitely Beary Manilow.

    Like

  84. 87
    Anonymous

    Bearnie Sanders.

    Like

  85. 88
    Shelley MacGregor

    Beary Bostwick

    Like

  86. 89
    AJ-the short one

    These suggestions are all so great! How to pick just one? You need more bears. This one however needs a name befitting a born performer. Personally my faves are Beary Manilow, LiBearace, Beary White, Chuck Beary….my husband, ultimate minimalist, said Bear.

    Like

  87. My favorites Beary Gibb or Beary Manilow didn’t make the cut????? Wha????? With that 70’s t-shirt? Plus he looks like he’s disco-ing! (Or maybe Copa Cabana-ing) I’m still holding out hope for either of those….

    Like

  88. Sparky!

    Like

  89. He needs a microphone. Beary White or Beary Manilow.

    Like

  90. I started reading this earlier today, but had to stop. Firstly because I was at an all day workshop, and Secondly because these names are aweso…… ummm I mean PAWSOME!!!!! and it was a little bit hard not to snort, guffaw and full on cackle at some of them!
    God I love this page!! God Bless Beary Manilow, Beary White and/or Beary Gibb!!!

    Like

  91. This is brilliant! I haven’t laughed so hard in ages – beary funny. Luckily I’m on my own in the office or I’d have to explain to my co-workers why I’m laughing at images of a half-naked, footless bear. I vote Bearison Ford all the way. Dressed as Han Solo or Indiana Jones

    Like

  92. You know, at this point I don’t think you’ll ever top this unless you find a kangaroo or a llama or (Gods help you) an elephant. So, I think you should take this opportunity to really push the boat out and go with Beary McBearface. You won’t get another chance like this, Lawson. DO IT.

    Like

  93. Lille, the Travolta vibe gives us Vinny Barbearino.

    Like

  94. 97
    Anonymous

    Sportkilt will make a kilt to fit him, plus they use velcro so easy to change

    Like

  95. I’m really feeling Lionel Bearymore. I mean, give that guy an Oscar.

    Like

  96. Lionel Bearymore! Give that bear an Oscar!!!

    Like

  97. 100
    Christina McMenemy

    The photos with the cat are killing me. He looks like a grumpy boss yelling at his intern. “Jesus, Linda, I said only TWO sugars! This coffee tastes like syrup!”

    If you need a kilt for him, this is the brand my husband bought recently and loves: https://www.utkilts.com/tartan-utility-kilts/

    Like

  98. Thanks for showing us a picture of a penis and then saying, “We’re gonna need another poll (pole)” 😛

    Like

  99. My 12yo wants a Marvel name and suggests Beary Barnes. I pointed out that Beary Barnes would have been missing an arm not both feet, at which point she said she’d also be happy with Simon Growl.

    Like

  100. 103
    Anonymous

    Is it too late to suggest Bearto O’Rourke?

    Like

  101. 104
    Anonymous

    Woodercub

    Like

  102. 105
    Michael Fay

    Take a piece of tartan cloth about 9′ long, and build some pleats across the middle 3-4 feet. Tack them down. Then wrap the cloth around Beary Blight’s waist and secure with a belt. You then have a kilt.

    Like

  103. One lone vote for Justin Beibear?

    Like

  104. 107
    lachatlunatic

    Change out the outfits especially in your new bookstore. It will draw in customers to see who the ‘Bear of the Month’ is? Maybe the Bear has multiple personalities?

    Liked by 1 person

  105. 108
    Seana Gause

    Hats off to Victor, for TOTALLY getting you. That man is golden.

    Like

  106. 109
    Linnea Allen

    If you’re looking for a kilt, may I suggest Off Kilter Kilts? https://www.offkilterkilts.com/ It’s my friend’s shop, so you’d be supporting a small business, and he should be able to order you a Sport Kilt in your choice of tartan. 🙂 (Perhaps MacClaren, since Lawson is a sept of that clan? Or he has a kick ass store tartan in black and purple.)

    Like

  107. 110
    Bill E Stevens

    Les Griz?

    Like

  108. Bear Naked Laddie

    Like

  109. 112
    christyfollis

    Love the kilt idea, so Sean Clawnnery was an awesome suggestion!
    More Scottish names:
    Craig Furguson
    Ewan McGregrrr
    Grrroundskeeper Willie….see what I did there?

    But, these are also cool:
    Bearrison Ford
    Matthew McClawnaughey

    Like

  110. I can’t vote until you choose the clothing! If the t-shirt stays, then of course the name must match the duds – Matthew McClawnaughey.

    Like

  111. Did someone say “Drew Bearymore “??

    Like

  112. 115
    Anonymous

    Jenny – obviously, I love everything about this post (I think that if you can’t get that XL kilt, a pair of festive jams with a nice elastic waist would be awesome), but I absolutely love the dress you are wearing! Would you please share info? TIA!

    Like

  113. 116
    purple_monkfish

    and that right there is why victor is your perfect partner.

    Like

  114. Elizabeth Bearrett Browning

    Like

  115. It has to be Matthew McClawnaughey! Because of the shirt!

    Like

  116. 120
    Anonymous

    If you ever need a 3XL corset, I can hook you up. I got nothin’ for a kilt. Sorry
    I’ll leave the names up to the rest of the committee. Not my super power by a long shot.
    Victor – major hubby points for such a wonderful gift for your sweetie.

    Like

  117. 121
    Anonymous

    I know am I really late to the party, but I can’t believe no one else suggested RuPaw! This bear needs to host a taxidermy drag competition.

    Also, Victor wins the husband-of-the-year award :-).

    Like

  118. 122
    Suzi Poore

    DEFINITELY RUTH BADER GINSBEAR, because we need every person available to think fondly of her often and hope she outstays the opportunity for Trump to appoint another Kavanaugh!!! BTW, Terry Gross had Michael Pollan on Fresh Air discussing his book, How to Change Your Mind, magic mushrooms may be the answer… just saying it’s worth exploring.

    Like

  119. 124
    Anonymous

    If he’s wearing a kilt, I really like the earlier suggestion of Robert Bearnes. Plus then you can explain the taxidermied feet of bears, like the best laid plans of mice and men, gang aft a-gley.

    Before you removed the bear’s pants, I would have suggested Grizzelda, because Patient Griselda would be a whole lot better with a not-so-patient bear dealing with the duke’s nonsense.

    Like

  120. 125
    MELANIE DOANE

    Well if boy then Beary White or if girl than Jenny Clawson or Kelly Clawkson

    Like

  121. There is no QUESTION about the name with that Tshirt!
    Signed,
    Big fan from Austin

    Like

  122. Is that a ship chandelier in your office?! Very cool!!!

    Like

  123. Back again. Still thinking Beary Connelly. Then you can dress him like Uncle Monty from Lemony Snickett (bow tie for the win).Which brings me to my best argument: this will give you a strong argument for purchasing a taxidermied albino python. Having said that….you could make him into lots of literary characters for your shop….

    Like

  124. 129
    Anonymous

    Harry Paratesticles

    Like

  125. Wait. Stop the presses. Ursula Le Bruinn.

    Like

  126. 131
    Verwirrung

    Lord Bareass Bearatheon?

    Like

  127. Congratulations on your new family member! And for deciding to go to Japan. I wish I was as brave as you are 💜

    Like

  128. I can help you with the kilt issue. And I feel like they should be called Bearnardo.

    Like

  129. I think this bear needs a kimono.

    Like

  130. We were driving through Minnesota on a family trip and I found a place that you need to visit and this post proves why. It’s called Mehlops Four Seasons Taxidermy https://www.courtlandtaxidermy.com/ and it’s in Courtland, Minnesota. Oh, by the way, we saw two dead raccoons by the side of the road and one of them was in a fantastic Thriller dance pose. I was so sad to see them, but I imagined you finding them and taking them to Mehlops Four Seasons Taxidermy. Congratulations on the success with the TMS! Longtime anxiety/panic attack/depression sufferer here.

    Like

  131. 136
    Anonymous

    I am so Beary happy for you! Victor truly is your soulmate! How about Ricky Beartin?

    Like

  132. 137
    Anonymous

    Has the bear been named?
    What about Beary Manilow?

    Like

  133. 138
    Physicsmom

    Are you on James Breakwell’s mailing list? (If not, you should be). He has a whole series of emails about his search for a taxidermy bear for his brother’s wedding gift. Saga has not yet ended since the wedding is not until August. The story of how he picked it up is hilarious.
    P.S. I voted for Bearison Ford, because Chewbacca of course.

    Like

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