Once it’s in a book it’s a real word. That’s the law, I think.

Words in my next book that spell-check says aren’t real:

Janky.

Tricksy.

Panickedly.

Vomity.

Halfsies.

Floaty.

Dickhole.

Bitey.

Crotchal.

Thingie.

Laggy.

Naugahyde.

Borked.

Welp.

Weirdos.

Judgy.

Cootch.

Squoosh.

Roadkill.

Wronger.

Chupacabra.

Teets.

Foxen.

Rigamarole.

Battlestar Galactica.

151 thoughts on “Once it’s in a book it’s a real word. That’s the law, I think.

Read comments below or add one.

  1. This just makes me shake my head sadly and contemplate writing a severely-worded missive to Bill Gates to fix his shit.

  2. Your spell-check is a little janky. And now I’ve realized mine is as well. Oh welp.

  3. BATTLESTAR GALACTICA ISN’T REAL?!
    Next you’ll be telling me Doctor Who isn’t real, either.

  4. I thought it was crotchetal. Nope, I guess spell check doesn’t like that either.

  5. I say “dickhole” on the daily. I work in customer service.
    People prove to me regularly that dickhole is a very real word.

  6. Illiterate swine, spell check!! And my demented autocomplete keeps making spellcheck two words instead of one!! And every time I type “love” it changes it to “live!” Alright, already! Love to live, live to love!!

  7. Whelp needs an “h”. I see no other problems with this list. Spellcheck needs to get out more.

  8. Those are all totally words, just like Exhaustified is a word. And I have a Nauga, so there. WORD.

  9. Does it recognize “thingy” as the spelling? I feel like I use this word on the regular.

  10. Crotchal! Love it! It totally explains my day. Crying jag for no reason, tripping my knee scooter while lost trying to find my new OB/GYN’s office. Then yearly exam. LOLOLOLOL PMP!

  11. I thought Naugahyde WAS a word since it was the brand name of a product that people used on..IDK..cars upholstery or something? Right?

  12. Spell-check is seriously wrong! I’ll be betitted isn’t a word it believes in either….

  13. What is this nonsense? Clearly spellcheck is antiquated! But, you’re a trendsetter, a rockstar among writers! These words will prevail in your name! All hail The Blogess!🤗😎

  14. Naugahyde is a trademarked name, so the dictionary just says fuck it. But I would think it would be a generic term like Xerox, Kleenex, etc. by now.

  15. I wouldn’t worry too much. My judge-y spellcheck at work tried to change neuroscience (my field of work) to pseudoscience. Burn! I sent the image to my boss.

  16. Huh. Well, I know those words so they must be real. I’m Canadian though. I know spell check can’t get the spelling of colour or honour correct either. So maybe you’re just speaking Canadian. Want to go out for some poutine, neighbour?

  17. Your spellcheck is totally Janky. I was eating lunch with my friend, Tricksy, today, and she Panickedly described her food as Vomity to the waitress. Since mine was good, we decided to go Halfsies. For dessert, we had this yummy Floaty thing, which the Dickhole next to us clearly wanted, too. He had a Bitey dog with him who was about Crotchal height and kept playing with the Thingie under the table. The owner kept telling him to stop, which was Laggy, at best, since the chairs were covered in Naugahyde, and with all that playing and chewing, were Borked, at best. Welp, so much for Weirdos. I don’t like to sound so Judgy, but the dog sniffed my Cootch. I tried to Squoosh him back, but he looked like Roadkill, or even Wronger, a Chupacabra with huge Teets. The owner said he was definitely Foxen, but I was tired of the whole Rigamarole, so we went back to my place to watch Battlestar Galactica.

    (Marry me. ~ Jenny)

  18. I think Dickhole is pretty much just any hole so that might be redundant.

  19. I was also gonna add “betitted,” but how about “snacky
    ‘ or “wanty” when you’re not hungry but…….

  20. Obviously you have to add bears and beets to your Battlestar Galactica for spellcheck to recognize it.

  21. Okay, some of these I can kind of understand, but weirdos? Roadkill? Chupacabra? Has spellcheck been living under a rock?

  22. Battlestar Galactica?!?! The reimagined series is my all time favorite show- so color me intrigued. 😉

  23. Reading this list just makes me more excited for the book to be released!

  24. We use the word “crotchal” All. The. Time. Clearly that makes it a Real Word

  25. Betitted will be the deciding factor- if spell check refuses that it is officially null and void. Your next project could be an updated spell check that is more comprehensive!

  26. Spell check is both janky and wronger. I’m an editor, and I always have a tab open to m-w.com, which tells me that “roadkill” IS a word. Because OF COURSE it is, stupid janky spell check.

  27. My dear, you are operating at an advanced author level. You must realize that simple machines enforcing convention cannot keep up with you.

  28. If there is a “Roadkill” restaurant in southern Alabama, then it’s a real word, doggonit!

  29. Your spellcheck has clearly not read Tolkien – tricksy is used by Gollum. I would spell rigmarole like that, but rigamarole is a variant, I’m pretty sure the fault lies with the program, but can’t be bothered to check if the words are listed in dictionaries- I know them. They should really have someone with a decent vocabulary and/or imagination to sort out spellcheck, I nominate Jenny.

  30. Is your book available for pre-order yet? Because I’m totally buying it. Even before I read these words I was buying it, but now I have to buy it JUST TO FIND THESE WORDS.

    (Not yet, but I’m close to being finished. ~ Jenny)

  31. Betittied just missed the deadline for this book. Maybe next book, betittied.

  32. I understand all of your words. They are now official.

    And the Uniroyal company will be interested that “Naugahyde” isn’t a legit word since they still manufacture it. Aligned with the Naugha hoax in the 60s when the manufacturer humorously claimed the material was made from the shed skins of an exotic animal by that name, Naugahyde maybe endangered since it’s made from leather.

  33. I know of someone who once ordered a Chupacabra at a bar.
    She meant Cuba Libre.
    To the best of my recollection, the bar tender served her once he’d recovered, so chupacabra now has at least two meanings and should be recognized by spell checking software worldwide.

  34. HEY! SPELLCHECK! knock knock mother fucker. We know you are trying your best to obfuscate, but we sesquipedalians will NOT BE DETERRED.
    so, nanny nanny boo boo

  35. Pfft. Everyone knows “borked” is a state of mind/body/soul/car. Silly spell check.

  36. I feel like “From Cootch to Chupacabra” is some sort of BuzzFeed article that needs writing. Not sure what all it may cover though . . .

  37. Aside from capitalising Naugahyde (brand name), as an editor I see nothing untoward about this list. I would accept these words as author idiom.

  38. Jenni at comment #5 wins the internet today with Barbara from Colorado coming in a very close second. Actually I think everybody won especially you, Jenny!! 😂 And thingie is definitely spelled thingie

  39. Spell check needs a lesson in words. This is blasphemy!! Battlestar Galactica is too a word!!

  40. I sincerely hope that you will be using ‘betitted’ in there somewhere!

  41. Steph Curry used Janky to describe a defensive move in a NBA finals game on National Television. Spell check is Janky!

  42. Shakespeare made up the word bedroom, and you’re like, way better than Shakespeare.

  43. I tried to use “foxen” in Scrabble the other day, and it wouldn’t take it.

  44. Imagine how spellcheck would have felt if Lewis Carroll were writing Jabberwocky today…

    MS Clippy would freeze, blip like it’s trying to function, and then fry the computer.

  45. P.S.
    As a professional search logic tuner who nerds out over data repositories, I can tell you that programs like Microsoft Word only have the most basic of dictionaries installed in their program software.
    – You can add words and make it “smarter,” though that gets tedious pretty quickly.
    – You can import a dictionary file (I THINK, but it’s late and I’m too tired to Google it))
    — Princeton’s WordNet is open source
    — The Getty Institute has three thesauri/controlled vocabularies of artists, place names, and art
    — The USGS has lots of data available, too

    …you know, if you’re bored some day or something. 😉

  46. Maybe spellcheck uses the same 6th grade (if we’re lucky) reading level as ye olde printed newspapers?

  47. I thought it was crotchular, but maybe crotchal and crotchular are adjectives derived from the same word? My spellcheck doesn’t recognize either form. Spellcheck is a wanker.

    Seriously dying for a new book, but no pressure.

  48. The only one I might agree with Spellcheck on is “crotchal.” I mean, we all know it’s “crotchical.” As in the time my son went camping and came home with crotchical ivy.

  49. I’d tentatively back your spellcheck up on “teets,” unless it’s something other than “teats”?, and my preferred forms, for the zeroes of people thronging at my door, are “vomitous” (as in The Princess Bride, “you miserable vomitous mass,”) and “rigmarole.” Other than that, I say it’s totally borked. Could not be wronger. Update process is laggy as all get-out.

  50. My 16yr old son says all words are made up, ergo, now I have more words to add to my lexicon. You’re the best!

  51. If y’all tap the “incorrect “ word after you’ve written it but while it’s still in that little window, spellcheck will add it to its dictionary. I think.

  52. I think I’ve used all of those except crotchal. So spellcheck can bite it.

    On the other hand, my phone’s autocorrect keeps turning oof into pig, so if I accidentally call anyone a pig…sorry.

  53. The correct term, as spoken by my local weatherman, is “crotchatorial region”.

  54. So many of those are totally legit words. Spellcheck sucks, tho’I believe it is “teats” rather than teets. Carry on. Use those words!

  55. Here’s a word for you: crotchular. As in “Babe, you need to wash those pants. They smell pretty crotchular.”

  56. “Tricknology” is one worth adding to your book. I’m sure spell check won’t like it either.

  57. I use many of these words every day. I’m sure I’ve used every word before and will again. I love making up words. When my son was 3 he pronounced Avacado as Guavolado. 35 years later and that’s still what I call them. Chirmas Tree and bathketball.

  58. So, I thought that said, “Once it’s a book, it’s a real world.” And I loved it! I love what you wrote also. I really love what I thought it said though. And that brings me to your book shop. I am so very excited for you and really want to visit it! I hope AFP will come sing and Neil will read a story. And that you will read a story. And maybe your daughter can sing with AFP. And I hope your new big bear is there. These are the hopes and dreams. Also, I would like to get to be there! I have so much awesome old magic stuff that my grandpa has had since he was a little kid. He used to be the President of the International Brotherhood of Magicians. And he knew David Copperfield and Doug Henning. And he knew Houdini’s brother and wife. And he was very good friends, at such a young age, with the original Blackstone. I have evidences of all of this. Maybe you’d be interested in having a cool item from his collection gifted to the bookshop? I need to open a magic museum, but don’t think that’s gonna happen… And books are magic! Because… once it’s a book, it’s a real world! Very excited for you!

  59. book or paper is the rule i’ve always used, especially during my master of arts in english program. if that helps. and yes i got the degree 😉

  60. Naughahyde is a trademark… originally made in Naugatuck Connecticut. Been there!

  61. I am waiting so patiently for your next book! Yeah, right!

    This list is a fun and smiiey tease.

    VERY EXCITED!

  62. Did you know you can add words to your computer’s dictionary? Right-click on the word your computer thinks is wrong. “Add to Dictionary” will be one of the options. I use this at work all the time.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: