Things we fought about during the pandemic

Week 3…4? of being home alone with the family makes me very grateful that I’m with them while also wanting to strangle them a lot.  I suspect I’m not alone so today I’m sharing a list of things we fought about in the last 48 hours.

THINGS WE FOUGHT ABOUT DURING THE PANDEMIC:

Where everything goes in the kitchen.

The best place to clip fingernails.

How to stack things in the dishwasher.

How to stack things in the pantry.

How to stack things in the refrigerator.

Whether expired food is still okay to eat.

Whether waking up at 11am is self-sabotage or self-care.

Whether Hunter S. Thomcat needs a kitten.

Whether the dog likes being dressed up as my tiny coworker.

Whether the eggs Victor made taste like dish soap.

Whether I appreciate that he made eggs even if they taste like dish soap.

Whether to leave all the cabinet doors open so we don’t have to touch the handles.

Whether to watch The Breakfast Club or 15 episodes of 90-Day-Fiance in a row.

Whether to clean the garage or just leave it because who needs that extra stress right now.

Whether to put Xmas decoration in the attic or just leave them in the garage because we’re totally not going to get them out again if I have to go up a ladder for them.

Whether to spray lysol on packages before opening them or to save the lysol and just wash our hands really well.

Whether to leave the pantry door open so the cats don’t accidentally get locked in there or leave the pantry shut so the cats don’t get in there at all.

Whether I l constantly leave all the lights on when I go to bed or whether Victor turns them all on while sleepwalking.

Whether I can give the dog an extreme haircut because I bet she wants something new.

Whether to lure the squirrel that lives in the backyard (Squirrely Temple) into the house to live with us until the hawk in the backyards goes away.

Whether Hailey should do her schoolwork at the table or in her room.

Whether it’s okay for me to start small, controlled fires in the backyard.

Whether to use all this time do boring businessy stuff or make new outfits for taxidermied animals.

Whether it’s acceptable to turn the living room into a temporary art studio if I put bed sheets on the floor as tarps first.

Whether it’s okay to drip paint on the floor of the garage which is already ruined anyway.

Whether I should start a garden even though I kill everything and also don’t have any supplies and can’t get them.

What the dog is currently thinking about.

What to add to this list.

****

Your turn.  What are you arguing about?

 

 

306 thoughts on “Things we fought about during the pandemic

Read comments below or add one.

  1. Whether or not the video that I made to send to our kid’s teachers explaining why he’s too shy for Zoom chats was acceptable because he said “bye” at the end and apparently husband thought that was literally all I’d recorded him saying.

  2. I just had a (heated) discussion with the dog because she was making too much noise licking herself. At least your people fight back.

  3. Squirrely Temple, I love it lol.

    I live by myself so I guess I argue about … whether I should go out for takeout or not? (ie, is it safe? and what about all the boxes/containers?)

  4. Don’t let Squirrely Temple in the house! Nothing good will come from it, trust me on this 😬. Our greatest hits list includes, but is currently not limited to
    -Why are you loading the dishwasher like that? (Ballad)
    -I need to get some work done (Male solo)
    -Why can’t we go outside????(children’s number)
    -Wishing we were somehow alone again (cast number, covers all manner of grumpy)

  5. Husband: we’re lucky we can work. And we’ll be able to save some money. Me: Right – EVERYTHING IS ON SALE ONLINE. Him: THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT. Just another day. Hope I can get my mail order packages inside before he sees them.

  6. Arguing with the cat over how much human food is acceptable. (ALL of it vs “Get your head out of my cereal bowl.”)

    Honestly, at this point I’d prefer a human argument.

  7. I love these. I am in lockdown alone except for the dog and cat. All my arguments are lost already:
    -Whether it’s that important to pick up the yard when nobody’s using it anyway, except the dog who just adds to what needs to be picked up.
    -Whether the cat should be attacking my feet while I’m sleeping.
    – whether a walk is really worth it when I have chocolate i can taste today and 4 more seasons of Shahs of Sunset to catch up on
    -whether I should change clothes at all this week
    -whether sleeping in until 3 minutes after my first work meeting started is jeopardizing my job or just self care.
    -whether online shopping for MORE things I don’t need in my house is a problem or a legit coping mechanism.

  8. Whether or not one of us needs to quit feeding the dog so much “people food” she throws up (and then, being a dog, she immediately resumes begging for food).

  9. Whether or not it’s better to throw away your used dental floss in the bathroom trash or just bring it upstairs to the kitchen trash, because you were going there anyway.

  10. Where to get the crafting paper – I sent kiddo downstairs and hubs sent her upstairs.

  11. Whether reminding someone, CONSTANTLY, to do something is necessary before you just do it your goddamn self because what’s the point?!!! How many times do I need to remind you?!!!!

  12. Who should take out the recycling, when, and if they should wear a mask and gloves to do it. Whether we should wash favorite clothes or just keep letting clothes pile up until we run out to save on detergent. If you really need a plate for a sandwich.

  13. Hard to fight with myself, so anybody who makes the mistake of calling me, watch out! I’m willing to argue about anything!

  14. Whether or not I can go braless around the house. I think I’m being generous by wearing pants.

  15. Nothing specific, but I texted my friends yesterday to send their thoughts and prayers to my husband because I thought it might be the day that we had a Work From Home Thunderdome, from which only one of us would emerge.

  16. I live alone and frequently argue with myself about dinner. Is it too early or too late for dinner? Do I have the energy to make a real dinner? Have I eaten a vegetable yet today? Can popcorn be considered dinner?The answer to the last question is always yes.

  17. Whether doing yardwork is a healthy release or just an invitation to have ticks chew your face off.

  18. Several arguments have started with the words “We’re not made of paper towels, why the F are you using that many”

  19. How loud the TV should be at 1:00 am when SOME OF US HAVE MEETINGS in the morning!!

  20. Who is a better homeschool teacher, me or my husband?
    (Me, duh)
    If quarantine is the perfect time to get a puppy.
    Which yard projects need to get done.
    Can all leftovers REALLY be burrito filling. Even pasta??
    Should we watch a movie or every episode of Survivor, ever.

    Note* We’ve been approved for a rescue puppy online. We are arranging a socially distant meeting somehow ( ?) Soon and may have her by the end of the month!!

  21. Why I’m watching the hot mess that is Tiger King (because everyone else on the planet has already watched it, of course!).

  22. Whether or not it’s ok to put frozen slices of bread in the toaster, in case it causes a fire. Because our First Responders just don’t need more shit to deal with right now.

  23. Whether or not Easter candy is an essential item that needs to be added to my carefully planned out grocery list. (Husband’s request, not even for children)

  24. Instead of leaving the cat food in a place where the dogs can reach it, necessitating locking the cats in the basement for the duration of mealtime, why don’t we just move the food to a higher place?

  25. I’m trying to buy our first house and get ready to move. It’s a trying time 😳

  26. In my house there are daily arguments about how much screen time my son should have. How much time he should spend with the family versus in his room playing video games. Whose turn it is to wash dishes. Who left the lights in the bathroom on (son and husband usually)… the list goes on. The sooner we can all get some space from each other the better 😂😂

  27. If the patio furniture should all face the yard, or make a conversation circle.
    If we should buy more alcohol.
    If we should let our new doggie on the sofa.
    Why DH breathes so loud

  28. I’m single but my mom and I share a home. So far we’ve argued over:

    Whether utensils go in the dish drain heads up or handles up.

    How many squares of toilet paper you really need for a clean wipe.

    Whether or not our cat Niall needs a kitten (is this universal right now?)

    How often it’s necessary to shower during a pandemic.

    Who keeps putting the ice cube trays back with only two cubes in them.

  29. Can he please make that chair stop squeaking. Whether we should watch one more episode of The Sopranos or get up and do something. Why he can’t stay on the beat when we’re practicing guitar together (we just started lessons in Feb.) Who does the dishes more. Whether the cat should be allowed to go outside.

  30. I live with three cats. The ONLY argument in our house is whether I should feed them now or 15 minutes ago. I’m always wrong.

  31. 2 parents working from home and 2 kids doing digital learning, fighting about what rooms each of us will take our calls in.

    Also, how many sprites a day is too many.

    Also, who has bathed today.

    And who should bathe today.

    And who can forget the great dish washing battle of 2020, wherein we all learned who doesn’t wash dishes in the right order. (Spoiler alert: it was me)

  32. Almost everything. Homeschooling one autistic kid and one hypersocial kid has me on my knees. Today’s gems included: is the bare minimum effort ok when you hate art class, why does mummy need to be alone sometimes, why do I need to get dressed if I’m not leaving the house and why do I need to wash when I washed yesterday?

  33. About the eggs, if Victor used Cilantro on them, then they very well might taste like dish soap, if you have the crappy gene that does that. I do. It’s sad. Also, of course Hunter needs a kitten. Everyone needs a kitten.

  34. Not much of anything, really. We are both RN’s so we are “Essential” (ooookay) so we leave the house for work but also, newlyweds so the quarantine is not too bad for us. I hope you and your family are well, keeping safe and that you are managing your anxiety well in the midst of all this stress and fear. I’ve been a fan a long time and your writing never ceases to bring me a laugh. I’m very grateful for you.

  35. We don’t argue. We do tend to clarify comments to not come across as snarky. But we are Canadian so we apologize for everything. Especially to the cat when I accidentally bop her on the nose with my kindle. I do wonder what the cat and dog are thinking and I worry if they are happy?

  36. Whether I should go to bed at 11:00PM or 1:30AM because I’m going to take a nap tomorrow anyway!

  37. If you haven’t already watch The Circle Brazil on Netflix. It is the perfect mindless nonsense that I need in this world and you can say you’re working on your Portuguese. Win win.

  38. Whether or not it’s necessary to slurp when eating pasta (hint: it’s not, because I can do it, and he’s just not trying.)
    Why, as the designated grocery shopper in these times, I would rather dedicate shopping time and freezer space to things we BOTH eat, rather than with MORE sliced ham, when I don’t eat pork.

  39. I live with 3 cats. The only argument we have is whether I feed them now or 15 minutes ago. I’m always wrong.

  40. Whether my college age son should attempt to do the calculus homework he was assigned even though his teacher hasn’t posted the syllabus or any instruction on how to do said homework.

  41. whether it’s okay to make garlic bread sticks on your lunch break (husband) when you won’t have to smell the garlic all afternoon while working at home all afternoon (wife).

  42. Whether a hydra has an odd or even amount of heads. The Redbull commercial’s has six, my husband said it was seven. I looked it up and it said the number of heads vary. He said “as long as it is an odd amount,” Mot what my research said!

  43. First to clarify things 1. Dress up the dog as you business associate but do not give her a hair cut. 2. Hunter needs a kitten 3.dont clean the garage it’s ruined anyway let it go. 4. Let Hailey do her school work where ever she wants as long as it gets done. 5. Victors always wrong unless it involves fire. 6. Making taxidermy outfits is business stuff because pics will end up in a book. And last but not least 7. NO STARTING ANY FIRES FOR ANY REASON EVER!!!!!! Ps love you bunches and love everyone on here

  44. We argue about which junk food at which dose shows greater promise of curing pandemic paranoia? And, if you layer junk food doses with an occasional staple food, does it counteract or increase the value of the previous junk food dosage?
    My son: extra-soft potato bread slathered with butter – NO LAYERING
    Me: any Haagen-Dazs (no brainer) – GUILTY LAYERING
    The pseudoscienctific race is on for question 2.

    Does a couch potato eating the junk food count as layering of doses?

  45. Whether we needed that next trip to the store. (In fairness, I was out of tampons and told my husband that I couldn’t really DIY any replacements.) We compromised by ordering groceries via Instacart but then I had to go into Walgreen’s just for the tampons, b/c see parenthetical above.

    Whether to leave the cat door flaps shut or closed. They couldn’t figure out how to use it for the longest time, so we were taping them open. Now my DH thinks they know what to do, hence leave them closed and stop “mollycoddling” them.

    Whether the kids are doing enough of their online learning work.

  46. Two things: There is absolutely a correct way of loading the dishwasher — I will die on this hill. And second, Hunter S. Tomcat for sure needs a kitten… perhaps two so that it opens up a fun category of coming up with names. Don’t know if I’d die on this hill necessarily, but you’d have a hell of a time getting me down.
    (My husband is in the military and has command of a large group of Marines. Our arguments mostly consist of how they’re being taken care of and the impact on their families. Right now I’m trying to come up with ideas how hundreds of young (mostly) men, 18-22 yr olds, can keep themselves occupied basically trapped in the barracks for an unknown amount of time. Can we set up virtual competitions for them? How do we keep them from defaulting to doing stupid stuff? Is it weird that I want to give them all Easter baskets? How can I afford all those baskets? Is that an “essential”? Who hoards Easter baskets?? I have not been trained for any of this.)

  47. Where the homework gets done, WHETHER the homework gets done (argue all you want, but you still lose, kids), whether teens should be on social media. The biggest argument was “MOM, WHY DID YOU TAKE THE WI-FI ROUTER TO WORK WITH YOU?!!”

  48. Whether or not the plastic cups I have stacked in the cabinet belong there, because every time my husband opens the door, they fall out. They never fall out when I open the door. (Which proves he has no idea how to function in the kitchen.) Whether there is anything wrong about watching every episode of Law & Order, especially when there is NOTHING ELSE on worth watching. And this includes the 50th showing of The Transporter. Whether my husband washes his hands enough. (He doesn’t.) Who is actually using all those paper towels. Sigh.

  49. We’re not fighting (yet) but I swear to God if he doesn’t start picking up his feet when he skulks around in shower slides (ALL DAY!!) something of Biblical proportions is going to happen.

  50. My messy young adult children who don’t believe they will get coronavirus. Our dogs who need training that my husband doesn’t want to pay for. How to correctly give the dog a bath. Whether my daughter can wash her car with our limited cleaning supplies (hell no. where is she going anyway?) And my favorite…whether or not my husband is in a terrible mood (he says he isn’t but obviously he is).

  51. HAHAHA OMG I just argued with my husband about OUR squirrels (and doves) in the yard, trying to give them a safe space, since there’s a Cooper’s Hawk that suddenly showed up and massacred a dove right in front of us and now I’m worried about all the other critters who live in the yard.

  52. We fought about whether or not the casserole dish should go into the dishwasher. Husband put it in the dishwasher but OF COURSE it wasn’t clean afterwards, so he had to wash it by hand. That’s what we Germans invented the word Schadenfreude for.

  53. We’ve argued if lottery tickets are “essential “. I miss my gambling fix and figured I’ve already lost winning MILLIONS at this point.

  54. I feel totally left out, because we never argue. We do, however, disagree on whether my husband is too healthy to get the coronavirus (his opinion) or if him working so much overtime as an essential worker is making him susceptible to the virus (the correct opinion).

    BTW, The Breakfast Club is the correct answer to that argument.

  55. Whether the two year-old had peed in the little potty when my husband took her before bed or whether it was just already wet. Our biggest fight of these three weeks and of the whole year, I think. I always dry out the potty so I know whether or not she’s gone. He doubts me. He’s wrong. Also potty training isn’t going well and we have a three year-old too who misses preschool and my husband is a doctor treating COVID patients and I’m pretty afraid he’s going to die so there’s some stress around here that may have contributed to Pottygate.

  56. Why he can’t even close the closet door, put the toilet seat down, NOT feed the cat at the table (it doesn’t count if he tells the cat to get down only when I come into the room),. Also, asking me what’s for dinner when he’s home too & can clearly see what we have on hand. On the plus side, we are watching old series like the West Wing, & Firefly. SO good! Have you seen the movie “Schmucks For Dinner? The dead mice are incredible.

  57. We’re arguing about this as well: Whether it’s acceptable to turn the living room into a temporary art studio if I put bed sheets on the floor as tarps first.

    Also, if the hospital where I work is not requiring a second post-illness COVID test (during illness test negative, symptom free 7 days now) before allowing me to return to work, is it reasonable that he require one before he’s willing to kiss me again.

    Whether it is reckless or reasonable to sell shirts saying:
    Newton Parents are a:
    Federation of
    Unwilling
    Conscripted
    Teachers
    Yes, we’re all FUCT.
    To make up for lost income that I would be earning if the “distance learning plan” our district has made actually involved the teachers teaching more than 30 minutes a week rather than emailing the working parents the lesson plans to review with our children.
    My vote: inspired.
    Husband’s: “wait, you- what the shit, Sarah! It’s ALREADY up on Zazzle?!”

  58. Where should I keep my “so I can see the deer when they come to the backyard feeder” glasses (note, apparently The Windowsill is not the right answer.

  59. Whether to eat the freakin burgers he’d been mentioning for DAYS, that I picked up on the way home after making an extensive grocery run, right away while they’re hot and giving me a few minutes to decompress… or bring in an entire car full of groceries first because he’s been tracking me via my phone so he could have the garage door open and waiting so he can help bring things in because that’s what HE wants to do.

    Guess which of these scenarios played out.

    I was told “you can heat up the food in the microwave “.

  60. Honestly nothing. I live by myself, already work from home, don’t have pets. If this ends, I’m changing my lifestyle from “Shelter in place all the time” to something else.

  61. Not an argument, but a lengthy discussion … should I venture back into the store (risking my life, obviously) to use coupons to get chocolate Easter bunnies (for self-medicating purposes). Sanity won out and the coupons are unused. Solution: ordered two chocolate rabbits for delivery, which are now in quarantine in the garage until Sunday. Everyone is happy again.

  62. No arguments so far, but there’s a reddish-brown squirrel in my yard in Beaverton, Oregon that I call my Cinnamon Squirrel…

  63. Two EPIC fights, one of which I can’t even remember what we were fighting about, it was that dumb, and second, if it was ok for my mom to eat my husband’s yogurt, or if we should risk going to the store to get more, which is pretty much the dumbest fight ever.

  64. Just now it was whether or not the opened shredded cheese bags with a February date are still good. I mean, cheese is aged for god’s sake, and there’s no mold. I’m eating it and serving it to the whole family. No Curr.

  65. whether or not the dog really needed to pee.. whether a box of oyster crackers should last more than 24 hours..who’s turn it is to use the xbox.

  66. Whether the dog is deliberately being a jerk or if it’s just part of his personality.

    Whether JK Rowling is really teaching magic. (As muggles, it wouldn’t work for the average reader.)

    Whether or not there are bird ghosts.

    Or squirrel ghosts.

    Whether Alexa is tired of playing music.

    Or being yelled at. (Although if she doesn’t like the yelling, then like the kids, she should listen the FIRST time.)

    Whether tongue tricks are teachable. (Tongue roll, tongue twist.)

  67. Let’s see-
    -who’s the loudest on Zoom/Google/PlayStation? (Apparently me, but I have headsets on so I won’t hear them and they won’t hear my co-workers- for which they should all be thankful!)
    – who’s cooking what, and where is the vegetable? Because that’s important!
    – which room or project we’re tackling next? Because I don’t know about anyone else, but my job got WAY more stressful and full on line than it was in person. But I’m not seriously complaining, I’m totally and truly grateful to have my job, just wish my family understood my time isn’t “free” now because I’m in the dining room all day!

    Anyway- not as entertaining as all of you, but my contribution!

    Love you all, esp you, Jenny!

  68. Whether it’s more important to do Monday’s homework Friday evening or to watch the last two Episodes of Tiger King. Note: It was the college student that wanted to do her homework. The rest of us voted for Tiger King.

    We lost.

  69. Why I insist on washing the caked on yogurt he left in the sink right when hubby wants to wash his hands in same sink (vs. the bathroom which is just in the next room).

  70. We’re in an…let’s go with “interesting” set-up here, as my husband has to physically go to work (his is considered an essential business, but no one really comes by, so not a ton to do) while I’m working from home. The common argument comes down to “I’m bored, pay attention to me!” vs “I’m trying to get some work done!” We trade off on which side of the argument we’re on, though, so there’s at least a little excitement there.

  71. Have argued about if leftovers should be immediately placed in the fridge, or left to “cool” on the counter because if you dont it gets sweaty. I’ve only ever heard this from my bf…so weird. Also if you wear leggings to bed they transition from pajamas to day wear when you wake up. My bf does not agree 🤣

  72. The dishwasher stacking for sure, lol. And chewing noises. Re the lights, maybe if you leave them on, Victor will turn them off when he sleepwalks. Win win?

  73. It’s clean out pantry and ‘fridge for food. I’m good ok tho it’s getting unusual.

    But my chameleon and frog needed crickets so I drove to the pet shop where it looked like Billy the Kid family reunion with everyone wearing bandannas. I dressed for the occasion with a mask, construction goggles and nitrile gloves. My best outfit to join the party

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  74. The best way to make ice tea
    Who should make it
    Whether it’s strong enough
    Who should make more
    Whether too many tea bags were used
    Whether it is still not strong enough
    Whether to put the ice trays back in the freezer (they were out to make room for popsicles)
    Whether ice tea is disgusting without ice

  75. Whether or not I’m “grumpy.” I can tell you that I wasn’t grumpy at the beginning but after being asked 462 times I sure as hell am grumpy now so well done hubs. Well done.

  76. We’re being surprisingly very nice to each other because it’s probably not the end of the
    world, but we can see it from here. In case it is, you don’t want the last thing you say to
    somebody you love to be, “Can we watch something besides another cheesy haunted,
    fucking ghost hunter thing! If I hear one more ‘What wuzzat?’ I’m gonna go bat shit crazy”
    I’m focusing my frustrations on the cheery, creative people on the internet. ‘Look at this!
    She’s using the lockdown to organize her closet! And plant a vertical garden! And do
    yoga! And learning to speak Gaelic! I could just punch her in the throat!’ Why can’t she
    just be a Xanax munching , freaked out mess like the rest of us?!’ And my wife says, “I
    think she’s probably curled up in a fetal position sucking her thumb. Don’t believe everything
    you read on the internet.’” Aww, damn! You always know the perfect thing to say, Chiquita!
    ‘Wanna watch ‘Most Haunted Hotels’?’ Sure.

  77. Whether our favorite deli was closed just on UberEats or also on GrubHub and WHY ARE YOU EVEN BRINGING DOOR DASH INTO THIS?!?

  78. At least a 1/3 of those are things we have argued about in the past weeks. I’ll add in how my husband should have moved Chewy box of cat food from the bottom of the stairs before he moved my old desk down them, so he wouldn’t hit the oil painting my friend made us hanging on the stair wall as he maneuvered it around the last step. And if my helping him so he didn’t go crashing ass backwards down said steps, was help or hindrance. sighs

  79. I live alone, so have no one to fight with. However, I did give one of the cats the stinkeye for sneezing.

  80. I live alone with my cat, so I pretty much argue with myself, though sometimes I argue with my cat Ella about not knocking stuff off the shelves, licking plastic or when she tears up my papers.

  81. Whether or not naps should be taken. I vote “yes”, my 3 yr old (she who should be taking said nap) votes a very enthusiastic “no”.
    I tell her that I will remember this when she is a teenager, begging for more sleep.

  82. We fought this weekend about graduation party stuff being in a pile on the dining room floor. We don’t use the dining room (except for junk storage) and my daughter may have a full blown breakdown if her father puts her graduation party stuff away. She’s struggling with no graduation and the potential of her first semester of college being virtual.

    She needs tons of good juju and prayers and whatever happy thoughts you can laser her way!!!

  83. Short list here, as we’re retired and already spend most of our time at home, so our routing is pretty much set. Disinfecting things is our big one – husband thinks a quick spritz of Lysol is enough. I’m the one harping on “wash your hands, wash the counter, wash or isolate the stuff you take out of the box”. I’m not winning:-(

  84. First- eggs just taste like dish soap. That’s what they do.

    Whether the crumbs in the kitchen were made by me or the cats.

  85. Who gets to crawl under the grand piano to pick up the dog poop (we’re both in our 70’s)? My husband insists we wait until the poop hardens so that it so easier to deal with. This happened yesterday when it was raining and the dogs wouldn’t go out. BTW, the poop is still there. I think I will lose this battle – I’m doing it now.

  86. Oh my gosh, this really makes me appreciate that my husband leaves the house and goes to work every day (because training the Army Officers of Tomorrow has been deemed “essential.” Thanks, Army). I only spend 2 days a week frustrated that he doesn’t appreciate how much EXTRA I do now, since being promoted from Stay At Home Person, BACK to Stay At Home Mom, with Teaching responsibilities.

  87. We’re currently in disagreement over booking a cruise to Antarctica. It’s not until Christmas and it’s a screamin’ deal. Come on, Sexy Nerd. Plus, the cancellation policies are great right now, so what’s the risk?

  88. Why is it in a house full of adults, I’m the only one who knows how to push in a damn chair.

  89. Haha, laughed out loud at this one: Whether to leave all the cabinet doors open so we don’t have to touch the handles.

    Because I’ve thought about that, too.

    We’ve been fighting about the dog but it’s not funny so not going to share, but reading this post made me laugh and now I feel better.

  90. We argued:

    Are the beatles overrated.
    Is it okay to pee in the shower.
    Why we shouldn’t have chicken two nights in a row.
    Did the Tiger King’s husband intentionally kill himself.
    Why the worst job is being remind that your opinion doesn’t matter. Apparently working in a chicken coop is worse.
    Is a book always better than a movie.
    Why we shouldn’t watch the news at 5:30 – 7:00 PM

  91. If online school is even worth it. Who didn’t put a new roll of toilet paper in the bathroom? How long was (fill in the blank) like this or did it just happen? Who needs to chill out? Is reading a book good enough for a day? How much is too much/little (fill in the blank)? Stop touching your face, get that out of your mouth, don’t touch those packages/groceries/etc. And the classic kids argument of she/he touched me/looked at me funny.

  92. We are trying to get ready for a move into our forever home, and arguing about how high is OK to stack boxes, how much room to leave between boxes so we can squeeze thru, how heavy boxes should be, if the dog needs his own box (of course-he has tons of toys and blanket), how we are going to get all the boxes to the new house, how many of our thousands of books do we have to give away (I say NONE), where can we get more boxes, where can we find more room to stack more boxes….are you sensing a theme here? They say moving is a major stresser in marriages-try doing it during a pandemic! If we make it thru this without a divorce or death by boxes it will be amazing.

  93. Whether or not going to the pet store to buy a fish to replace the one that died is a necessity (fish ended up being purchased as it turned out DOG FOOD is in fact a necessity because Frankie Donut the WonderPug said so) ergo, Floki the Feisty is now swimming happily in a betta bowl.

    That I am not the only one who can cook, Husband also possesses a brain with which to think and reason, two eyes to see, two hands to manipulate cutlery and two legs with feet with which to propel himself to the kitchen to see what’s for eating.

    Reminder that it does not take the entire family to go to the recycle center to drop of cans (curbside recycling has been temporarily suspended, and I don’t feel like climbing the summit of Mount Aluminum PlasticMore so…to the recycle center…

  94. I’ve been married 44 years. There is nothing left to argue about. We have had them all. Now we just appreciate each other. Really. Not kidding. Sounds sappy, I know. It’s true and you will get there too. Although I will say my wife is traumatized by not going to the grocery every other day. I have had to sit on her once or twice to keep her from going but it’s not a fight.

  95. Arguing with myself about whether or not to wear a bra (can people see that low when you are on a zoom call?) Don’t have to argue about whether to wear pants as that is a definite no.

  96. Oh, Sexy Nerd just reminded me that we are also fighting over the current state of our country. I say this is like the beginning of The Handmaid’s Tale and he says this is like 1984. Either way, I’m a bit nervous.

  97. Could not stop laughing……live by myself and the dogs do NOT care about ANYTHING!! LOL

  98. My dog and I have argued about how many walks are appropriate. He no longer wants to go outside all the time and today we got about a block away from the house and he turned around to go home.

  99. Since it’s just me and two teenagers in this house, the argument is about one thing – logging in and doing the damned homework. It’s an endless argument and I’m about ready to scoop out my brains with a rusty spoon.

  100. What to eat every night that is already in the fridge, pantry, etc. so we don’t have to face the crowd of hoarders at the store.

  101. How long is too long to take a shower.
    Who gets priority over the one Apple charging cable that hasn’t frayed (really Apple? Get your shit together and fix this!) (oh can I say Apple here? Sorry)
    How many granola bars make a meal.
    How messy can a teen girl’s room be before it’s a hazard.

    But what I really want to know – should I box dye my hair or see how I look totally grey? (OMG!)

  102. My husband and I decided it was time to start purging and cleaning. I started today in the bedroom closet. After it was emptied out, after he woke up from his nap, he asked me why I didn’t start in the “storage room”…

  103. Our latest game is called: “Why did you do it that way?” There are no winners.

  104. My cats want to know why I’m home all the time now and clearly invading their space but since I’m home now why not toss out treats 20 times a day instead of just once in the evening.

  105. Whether I should eat breakfast food or lunch type food when I wake up between 10:30 and 11:15am.

  106. My husband and I argued about him continuing to deadhead the dandelions in our front yard (we have 3 acres!) when there was a giant puddle of dog pee that needed to be cleaned up and why he hadn’t taken the dog out in the first place and why I wasn’t going to scrub it up because it’s “his dog”, but only at fun time and not at chore time.

  107. My husband breathing too loud while I’m trying to watch TV. Seriously, it’s just too much.

  108. Whether or not if a cat can be emotionally abusive by giving the Sad Eyes for treats every time I am in the kitchen. I give in every time…

  109. What to do with leftovers.
    Why can’t we get a dog
    How do I get all of my friends to be able to play poker online- hubby and son arguing about this.
    Why do the cats always sleep with me
    Why can’t I just go across the street
    What’s for dinner
    Did Carole kill her husband or not.

  110. its just me and the dog so most of our arguments involve “what the hell are you barking at now?”. i keep trying to convince her that people are allowed to walk by on the street, its really ok, she disagrees. i understand her getting excited and barking if dogs get walked by. i even understand getting excited and barking at the mailman, and i kinda like that one because then i always know when my mail is here. but somehow that transfers over to barking at all the delivery trucks anywhere up or down the entire block, so now i know when ANY of my neighbors get a package, sigh.

  111. Whether we should renew our Costco membership.
    Who ate all the Oreos.
    Whether the person who ate all the Oreos gets a share of the leftover chocolate chip ones.
    Whether we should order take out for lunch.
    Whether cucumber scented baby wipes are weird. (Yes, but when that’s all you can find…??)
    Whose son the cat is when he’s being a dickhead.

  112. argument with myself [couldn’t bear to involve two small, surprisingly non-chalant about this anyway] about whether i could actually just avoid going to the pharmacy to pick up my one-month supply of body/brain meds altogether because isn’t this the perfect time to see if i can be just be more resilient [again].

    thank god I’m a loser and told my inner-striving-bitch to go FUCK herself AND it’s the most mellow and humane I’ve ever seen… practically floated in and out on gossamer wings.

    THANKS GIRL. arguments don’t need family [or family in close proximity] but I’m sure it helps.

    🙂 from the branches in NOCAL~~~audrey/oscar [a shrimp mutt] and clementine [an even shrimpier mutt] XOxoxox

  113. @Michele B-
    Marines will not care about baskets, but they will endanger their souls for candy. Paper sacks with a bunny in marker are fine, candy and a note card.

  114. Why he’s constantly eating everything in sight, now that it’s more difficult to replace groceries in the pantry. (He wasn’t like this before.) Ditto about the paper goods in the house. I think he’s trying to make sure he gets more than his share, and he thinks I’m being selfish. I’m just trying to conserve what we have.
    Also whether or not zombies have a conscious mind.
    And which season of Game of Thrones was the best.
    And why Starz took all the sex scenes out of Outlander episodes shown during the day.

  115. Whether or not a Home Depot excursion is really necessary or if he just wants to show off the Yorkie God who lives with us.

  116. Whether or not to wear a mask while running outside in the rain in 40° weather. Literally NO ONE else out there…….

  117. Me: why didn’t you save me some of that chocolate
    Hubbie: I didn’t know you wanted any.
    Me: I bought the damn chocolate…. and hid it from you…. so I could have some!

  118. How many snacks the dog needs per day.
    Which part of the dog’s dinner I should feed him first.
    If I should wash the filthy dog toys even though the tags say not to.
    If this dog is spoiled.

  119. OMG I NEEDED THIS!!!! Thank you all for sharing…misery really does love company and getting over these little arguments (which honestly were happening in my household and I am sure yours already but are now just unbearable) is so much easier when I can read everyone’s list and laugh and think “yeah, we’re all going crazy….I’m ok, the kids are ok, husband and I are ok…” and remember our arguments and laugh too. Love to all of you and an extra bottle of wine!

  120. Whether I blinked in a condescending manner

    Which horror movie was the worst

    Steak sauce on a perfectly cooked steak is an insult

  121. Whether it’s ok to not lift the seat and try to hide it by wiping it after (but forgetting to flush so I know anyway)
    Whether 68 degrees is too cold and whether 74 to too hot

  122. Sadly, it’s whether going out makes a difference (my husband has been to more places since the stay at home order was given than he has been in the last 5 years). Sigh…we also get to discuss the stock market, the Cuomos (and why isn’t Andrew running for president), and what we should watch on Netflix. He’s exhausting and I’m glad I’m at work today.

  123. Why we need Alexa and three computers all making noise at the same time. I MISS MY QUIET WORK OFFICE!!

  124. Whether the kids belong to me or him.
    Whether the dogs belong to me or him.
    If I’m allowed to shave the cats or not.
    If I’m allowed to shave the kid’s heads while they sleep.

  125. Whether we should make our child stay busy most of the day or let him be a Switch game zombie.

    If we are going to lose our house if the economy doesn’t start back up.

    What proper quarantine is and is not!

  126. What to even argue about in the first place.
    How seriously we should take the whole thing; for ex.:
    Me: I am so worried about those most at risk and those who can’t work and am missing getting together in person with friends and loved ones.
    My husband: I am so sick of emptying the dishwasher!

  127. Whether we should get takeout for lunch today.
    Whether I said yesterday that we should get takeout for lunch today.
    Whether the decision to get takeout should be memorialized in writing.
    Who caused the screen door to come off its track.
    How to clean the shower grout.
    Whether hair color is or is not essential.

    I just hope the wine doesn’t run out.

  128. Whether or not we should cancel our engagement photoshoot and try to get the money back. I’m the pessimist, he’s the optimist, and I’ve cried a lot more over this than I have over getting a giant paycut from my company due to this (so maybe I need to rearrange my priorities???)

  129. With myself: whether giving myself a crew cut to see what I would look like without the colored part of my hair is a tragedy or a comedy.

  130. Laura, you must have a spy camera in my house. This is my dog exactly. And in spite of living near the end of a dead end street, there are CONSTANTLY delivery trucks going by (I think they miss the “Dead end” sign and/or are using inaccurate GPS), so she always has something to growl/bark at. She’s not as bad with the mailman- just a low rumbling- but the FedEx, Amazon, and UPS guys make her go berserk. But if she’s out on the street (with me, on leash) when one of them is stopped, she would happily climb into their truck to say hi. So I guess she just hates that they’re driving by & not stopping to pet her. And since we live near a park, there are ALWAYS people walking by, often with dogs. Heaven forbid they are TALKING as they walk by, that really chaps her hide. But I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for her, so I’ll gladly put up with her quirks.

  131. Me: Can we PLEASE put the head of the bed by the window?
    Him: No, I’m afraid bugs will come in and I won’t be able to sleep.
    Note: The windows are fine, the screens are fine, no holes, leakage or anything.
    🙄

  132. Right now my mind is occupied by the sad fact that my aged Jack Russell Terrier may soon have to be put down.

  133. whether it’s ok to not lift the seat to pee and then try to hide it by WIPING the seat (but forgetting to flush the pee and paper…)
    whether 68 degrees is too cold
    whether 74 degrees is too hot

    whether it’s ok to want to play in the bed when I’m trying to sleep
    whether it’s ok to pee on the carpet in the bedroom or wake me up to go outside while I’m trying to sleep

    (first two are college son, second two are sweet-but-psycho dog)

  134. Whether the likelihood of the hospital contacting my husband is the same all week long or whether its higher at the start of the week (about his postponed surgery).
    How I don’t need to be told twice to make dinner and how I refuse to use timers, and how he should make dinner himself if he’s starving and wants dinner earlier than six-thirty pm since that’s a very reasonable time.
    Why we need a new vacuum cleaner even though I know it’ll never happen since it’s not high up the priority list.
    What each character’s goals are in Madmen, and if they actually have any.

  135. I keep yelling at my discount Roomba. It keeps getting caught under the couch and screaming.

  136. I keep yelling at my discount Roomba. It keeps getting caught under the couch and screaming.

  137. Whether the kitchen faucet should be in the spray setting or stream setting as the default
    Whether We should eat all the leftovers or just cook something new
    Whether walking to the mailbox is enough exercise
    Whether watching Cheers again is better or starting West World
    Whether it is ok to just wash essential areas of the body or take a full shower when no one is going anywhere anyway
    How low do standards have to go before there are no standards
    Whether announcing to the universe that we have a plague will encourage invasion by aliens
    How long can we wait to clean again once we have cleaned
    Whether anything will change once we are out….that last one is a bummer

  138. Whether or not the dogs should make space for humans on the sofa. They are pretty good at arguing without words.
    Whether I should go downstairs before midday. This one was loud barks for words.

    I won both, but it felt a hollow victory, they know how to commit ninja like acts of wind warfare in revenge. They say vengeance is a dish best served cold – I say you don’t want to eat any dish near a vengeful dog.

  139. I’m sure your dog would definitely appreciate an extreme haircut. It is the apocalypse after all. So, I think a Mad Max style mo-hawk and a spiked collar or harness would be great!

  140. What can we purge to make it feel like we have more room (usually my stuff ends up on the list)
    Why do we still have sooooooo much laundry every day – and WHO is going to do it…
    Do I really have to clean the whole house as often since it’s not like anyone is coming over any time soon….

  141. No arguments here, we’re both essential employees, so it’s like every other day, BUT I totally need you to save Squirrelly Temple. and take pictures

  142. Weather we should be drying seeds from squash, peppers and tomatoes in the sun or in the oven. Weather the seeds we harvest from grocery store produce would even grow. Whether we will kill them like every other time we’ve had a garden. What seeds are ALREADY growing in the garden, are they what we planted or just old bird seed from the compost. Weather you can eat the bird seed seed that volunteers in the garden. Wether we should do all the dishes we own at once or as we make them dirty. Should we shred Papers before we burn them or is It if fine to skip the shredding because burning beats shredding or does shredding it make the paper burn better. Is there anything that can “go bad” in wonton wrappers that are six months past they’re expiration. Will the SBA really give us a $10000 loan to keep our business afloat or is that just a joke. Will the state ever catch up with its backlog of unemployment applications or are we just yelling into a void. Can we reopen in a month? Three? Six? How will we know it’s finally time to become hobos? Will we need a little backpack for the cat if we become hobos or can she ride the rails and carry her own pack like the dog does.

  143. Arguing with myself because I live alone: Whether killing your boss during a pandemic is considered justifiable Homicide. Or, whether I’ve learned enough from watching true crime shows and Law & Order to get away with it. There would be a LOT of suspects.

  144. Single mom here, the current arguments are-
    Why are Oreos only for care packages.
    Why the Tupperware can’t go on the bottom rack in the dishwasher.
    Why the cat cannot help with housework, even though she makes 1/3 of the mess.
    Of the salon is closed, can I still blame gray hair on the kid?

  145. I actually had a small breakdown yesterday due to fighting with my mom. She had to go out to pick up something from her doctor, she wore gloves/mask but I was worrying anyways, then she text me to ask if she could go to WALMART while out! She is very high-risk, compromised immune system and more, I really felt like she just wasn’t taking this quarantine seriously. When I kinda-yelled in response she dropped the idea but when she got home we had an argument about how serious this is, she doesn’t understand, I need her to stay safe, etc. (Well, argument happened when I’d finally stopped hysterically crying and shaking.)

    More mundane things: Taking the dog for walks, who is doing dishes, why is my computer desk such a mess (it really really is), why is she doing ‘projects’ at home that we both know are too strenuous for her legs, and if/can/should I go to work.

  146. Why I use ice in my drinks when I could just put them in the refrigerator and they would get “cold enough” because evidently I alone deplete all the ice in the ice maker machine thingy-and also evidently we are saving ice. I suppose for the same reason we are saving toilet paper? I still don’t know what TP (or ice) has to do with COVID-19 which makes me feel stupid because there must be some reason everyone else knows to save toilet paper.

  147. I thought there was a way to Like posts without commenting, but I can’t find it. So, Like!

  148. Arguing with the dog on our walks: NO, our favorite park is closed. NO, the beach is closed. NO, I do too have to wear a mask when we’re around other people. NO, we cannot go over there and talk to those potential new friends, or to those old friends, either. She plants her paws and gives me a look of such great offense. (We affectionately call it her “bitch, what?” look. I get it a lot these days.)

  149. Fighting with my fiancé about driving 12 hours to see one another. He’s for and I’m against. You’re list made me giggle, though I wholly agree that they’re all valid arguments!

  150. @Jean. I know! I can’t stand the sound of my dogs licking whether it be themselves or my husband. They are my darlings but the licking sound? Vomitorious

  151. Whether or not one may eat cereal, especially slurpily, if someone else is in the room. (HR must have intervened because it was eaten elsewhere today). Who has contributed more on the cleaning front. The appropriate way to clean things. If the kiddo has completed sufficient school work (everyone gets to participate in this one). Who should supervise the schoolwork.

  152. Whether we should stop eating so much sugar to help our immune systems out or just keep de-stressing with chocolate and donuts.

  153. Two weeks ago we drove 50 miles out into the country when it was starting to be clear that paper goods were becoming scarce and found a pack of 4 rolls of paper towels along with several other items. We were triumphant upon our return. We’ve been arguing for two weeks about who will go out to the car and get that package.

  154. OMG. For real, I am laughing my ass off at my computer. Thank you tribe and Jenny for the break from my regular scheduling programming, which is insane. I know it’s straight up Looney Tunes already for absolutely everyone on the planet, and at the McKinsey camp it is no different. We are actually moving in May. Completely insane you say? It sure is, and unfortunately it’s necessary.

    My schedule comprises of screening rental listings online for hours, intensely staring at my phone WAITING to see if our application to rent somewhere was accepted, reaching out to real estate agents, and doing frazzled KonMarie method organizing, which makes me want to insert all of our stuff into a dumpster and say FUCK IT all while I’m trying not to distract my husband from his work at home (so very grateful for his job)!!!!!!!!! Sometimes I feel like I’m in the Oregon Trial video game and I’ve chosen the route that involves floating my oxen across the river…except while I float my oxen across I also have an elephant sitting on my shoulders. This is fine…this will all be fine.

    THE OTHER PERSON WHO POSTED THAT THEY ARE BUYING THEIR 1ST HOME….I GET YOU AND I’M SENDING YOU SYMPATHETIC STERILE CARE BEAR HUGS!!!!

  155. I wish, as a prison Psychologist I was less “Essential” I would like to do this. Instead my argument today was over if I was allowed to wear a mask I brought from home. Not so much for me, but in case I bring it in the prison and inadvertently infect others.

  156. Response to various posts. And I can’t figure out how to comment on a comment! We all have our issues. Married almost 39 years (May!). Totally love but always find something to disagree about. Keeps it fresh. Also, to those wondering whether to go gray or box color, GRAY (Grey?). So happy I don’t have to color every 2 weeks. Freedom. Bra’s at home are always a why bother? Ditto makeup and showering every frickin day :(. Every other is fine, what are we doing to get dirty/stinky/etc? Men suck at dishwasher loading and unloading, I have to reorganize the cupboards AGAIN bc putting things where they match is apparently too advanced. He’s better at cooking than me so that’s been a win for 7 years after retirement. We aren’t yet 60 so many more years to come. He worries about me going out but I swear the man hasn’t been out as much as he is now so I put a ban on shopping. Waiting to see how long that lasts. One day so far. Miss my kids and grandkids. End of long winded whatever. Love you Jenny! Keep your squirrel safe but outside. Also? Dogs always win here, 😆

  157. We argued about….

    How our daughter is becoming a hermit or if she is just a serious introvert
    How many lessons can a kid fit into a 6.5 hours period of time
    Who left the chicken door open, and how the frick they didn’t notice (guess they were taking self isolation seriously)
    Who ate the rest of the ice cream
    Who drank all the yummy juice (non alcoholic amazingly lol)
    Why husbands need to shower when they smell…..
    Why does the hub get to shave his head to make things easy but I do not 😉

  158. Oh my god Jenny! I laughed out loud reading this, and I haven’t laughed very much the last few weeks. Our main argument has been about putting away the Tupperware. We have 1 cupboard for Tupperware. Where the hell else would it go?

  159. Whether cats are better than dogs. (yes), whether dogs are better than chatty squirrels, (yes if they let you put things on their heads and wear sweaters) and whether everything is better than birds (yes, except chickens. Chickens are cool). Cats rule though.

  160. Wether to close the blind in the window next to the couch when the sun first starts setting, or waiting until it’s totally dark after watching the sun set all the way. One choice is by a person who works out of the home in the evening normally, and the other choice by the person who is home all the time because they can’t work.

  161. Curious… did Victor make eggs with Cilantro? Since people think cilantro tastes like soap while others find it delicious.

    We fought about the right way to build a fire.

  162. Recent arguments: Whether or not riding in an open Jeep with a passenger is social distancing. Whether or not spending the entire weekend working on said Jeep counts as “helping around the house”. And of course the ongoing argument about how many old Jeeps is enough vs too many, and whether or not a tank is a reasonable facsimile of a Jeep (and thus would or would not count).

    Jeeps are his taxidermy animals. And yes, he does dress them up in different outfits!

  163. Whether flashing my husband after putting on a sports bra and saying, “Look! I flattened the curve!” was an okay joke or not.

  164. I’m sorry, but you are lucky to have your family there with you to argue with. My husband is a professional sharpener of medical instruments so, because he has to go in and out of hospitals every day, and because I’m kinda high risk, he is isolating away from home. (No, he doesn’t have a girlfriend.) Our governor just extended the stay at home order until May 1 so it could be that long before I get to kiss him again. #Sad #FrownyFace

  165. Which of our 4 cats should win the ‘cat of the day award’. So. That’s where we are.

  166. We aren’t fighting about anything but we should be. We just keep oh so politely disagreeing about everything, especially what news is true or even matters, and how much news is too much and whether he should get to tell me the news he finds interesting when I don’t want to hear it.
    And I argue with myself about whether my irritation is justified or whether I’m just a bitch.
    And if I am a bitch, whether I really care. I just want him to SFU!

  167. Whether to take the extra 100 points for a second Yahtzee, or let it go, or use it for the upper half of the score card.
    What the hell the corner spots on the cribbage board are for.

  168. Lack of privacy on all fronts. Sitting in my car in the garage drinking using hands free to call my pals to complain about never being alone & being asked what I’m doing. Telling my sister who had to move into my basement that 6 days without a shower is about 3 days too long. Telling my husband he can’t run around naked to get in and out of the hot tub. I just want a fucking haircut

  169. What I’m eating. (Don’t you want some cheese on that?) What he’s eating. (Really? That’s like FOUR servings of cereal.) How does the pee get on the outside of the toilet, and what are you going to do about it? (Spoiler alert: nothing.) Where are you going? What are you doing? What did you mean by that? You don’t like me any more, do you? What we should get at the grocery store and why the offerings aren’t exactly like what we are used to. How can you listen to that crap all day long?

  170. I don’t have an argument to share, however, could you tell me if Victor put cilantro in the eggs?

  171. ?? WHY ?? Would it not be OK to let you children play outside in your own yard??? (see entry # )
    What in the world have I missed ?!?

    And, please, why, since when, are we supposed to limit personal bathing? Or do limit doing dishes? (hand or machine) And limit doing Laundry ?!?

    I’m truly, really at a loss to understand … these things.
    Are they part of surviving self-isolating that I’ve missed?

    But really, Why does anyone think they shouldn’t let their children play outside?!? in their own yard? Staying isolated?!?
    Ive heard nothing of any of these things …

  172. Whether when you cut apples, you should put them in lemon water or salt water to keep them from turning brown.

  173. Hunter may need a kitten, but Rory will never get any One to One time with his Mom and that makes me sad already. Every caress he gives is full of “Remember when it was just the two of us, Jen? Me and this face of yours that I love-?”

    I’m fairly fluent in Cat, and also Rory stole my heart a couple years ago. Might be pretty hard on him to have yet another furperson to compete with for your pets.

  174. When I’m on Zoom with my first grade class and my husband is on Zoom with Department of Transportation workers and every other word out of his mouth is FUCK. 😖

  175. My DH refuses to be waxed but I still have to vacuum up all the hair. Cookies require plates. Does CNN have to be on 24/7. Why do you need to shower one minute before I get out of bed to have mine. Clean as you go, clean as you go, clean as you go…

  176. The dog and I argue about whether she can rest her head on my arm as I’m typing work emails. Said dog weighs 140 lbs, so it’s a lot of head. And droolly.
    The cats and I argue about whether their butt should be in my face even if they’re not standing on the keyboard. Also whether when they are in my lap they should use their claws to knead my leg.
    We also argue about who should do the dishes and clean the cat boxes.

  177. PS – – Referring to return my # 8 – Re: children asking “ …why can’t we go outside?”
    Why CAN’T they go outside, Mom of reply #8????

    My husband & I don’t argue – but my 42-yo out of work stepson, living with us until he finds work, may bring about his own homicide. We’re retired. Home, All the time.
    It’s the other side , Not at all, like Jenny & Victor, of living with someone who does not accept ownership of his mental “uniqueness” /illness.

    Me: Where are the two in-baskets (of deferred paperwork) that I left on the back of the dining table – I’ve finally got time to start working on them today …
    Stepson: What do you need from them?
    Me: I need all of the materials, so I can work on them.
    Stepson: If you can tell me what you need from them, I can tell you where I’ve put those things.
    Me: I need All of those papers, specifically Because I Don’t Know the specifics of what’s in each basket.
    So, Where are the contents of the baskets?
    Stepson: You tell me what specific things you need, and I can go and get them for you.
    Me: Dammit, I Need Everything from Both of those baskets. I set them aside So That I could go through them, later, when I had time. Where are they?!? There’s a $50 check from the electric company in one basket. Where are the contents of those two in-boxes?!! Please find all of my papers and bring them to me, Now.
    Stepson: If You can’t tell me what it is exactly that you need, I can’t find it for you …

    This will be justifiable homicide, right?

    I haven’t found these papers, anywhere, yet. I think he threw them all out, baskets and all, because, at that moment, he found the presence of them at the end of the dining table, “offensive”. No permission needed.

    Justifiable homicide, right?!?
    {{{sigh}}}

  178. Whether or not it is rude to pretend to poke one’s eyes out while one’s spouse watches replayed sporting events from 25+ years ago… more than once… and multiple sports…

  179. One would think I’d be having trouble with my teen, my tween, and my 6 year old who have been stuck in the house since March 12, but no, I have been having daily phone arguments with my father (age 85) who lives with my mother (82, with COPD), in one of the current COVID hot spots in the country.

    No, you do not need to go to the store for paper clips.
    No, you do not need to go to the store for ice cream.
    No, you do not need to go to the bank to check your balance. (Have you heard of a phone? I know online banking and even ATM cards are too futuristic, but come on!)
    No, you do not need to go INSIDE the post office to mail a simple letter.

    I have been buying, disinfecting and delivering groceries to their doorstep (I even found toilet paper). Not everything is always available. You may have to eat a different brand of beans. They are out of your favorite snack. If you go to the store to look, you will discover the same thing. STAY AT HOME!

    Sorry, I had to vent.

  180. The order that we wash our hands when disinfecting our groceries.
    Did you eat the left overs.
    Should we buy more food and leave the frozen food for emergencies.
    Why do you throw empty food packages in the sink instead of the trash.
    If embroidering swear words is considered self care or even a good use of time.

    Mostly I am exhausted. It feels the same as when we were going through infertility treatments. Huge life events hanging in the balance. No control. Worried about people. Happy that I have a house with cats and wifi to stay at. Thankful my husbands job is essential. Angry with governments. Exhausted. Hopeful. Grateful.

  181. “Whether waking up at 11am is self-sabotage or self-care.” – This is something I argue with myself all the time.

    As to arguing with my loved ones, it’s whether contradicting someone even if you have facts on your side is helpful or not.

    And how come the thermostat is up to 71 degrees in the morning when I obviously turned it down when I went to bed. Because who leaves the heat up when they are about to be surrounded by luscious layers of down blankets?

  182. Does my dad understand the concept of a bin? Why does he find it acceptable to eat cereal bars and crisps in front of the TV and drop the wrappers at his feet, then go without picking them up into the kitchen to collect a Diet Pepsi? Why does he unwarap a cake or finish the biscuits and leave the wrappers on the kitchen table, then walk by the bin to get back to the TV???? USE THE BIN!!!

  183. No, I am NOT going to watch Tiger King. And quit talking to me about it. He is NOT the New Normal.

  184. Whether or not my sitting at the table while surfing the internet while the weirdlings do their online school is supervising.

  185. Why do Alexa ads all say “ALEXA” really loudly? That means everyone who has an Alexa (even unwillingly) has to hear their Alexa respond to the command. Those Alexa people are just fucking with us.

  186. The correct way for the toilet paper roll to hang? With the paper under or over?

  187. I live alone so all arguments are with myself. Turns out I am kind of a whiny bitch.
    Also, paint seeps right through bed sheets used as tarps. Don’t ask me how I know.

  188. For us (married 20 years this July) it’s been mostly about how I get too close to people on the sidewalk the couple of times we went to buy groceries.

    Before that, it was whether we should go outside at all.

    After that, it was how to properly put the groceries away. Should we bother to wipe the packages before putting them away? How should they be wiped properly? And how I wasn’t doing the whole process properly.
    sigh

  189. ALSO, how if he keeps eating six times a day we will run out of groceries and have to go out again!

  190. Oh, maybe Squirrely Temple should come into the house to be Hunter S. Thomcat’s kitten. Oh, okay, that just sounded better in my own head!

  191. What to do with the foster dog that loves 2 of us but growls at the 3rd…. :/

  192. OMG! Are you sure we are not living in the same house? Only differences are that I don’t have any taxidermied animals and my dog’s fur is already very short. We all just keep on trying not to kill each other while preventing the virus from killing us.

  193. Arguments: who is going to the store to see if any chicken is available? Who has the best method to get in the store and out of the store with the least amount of contact to things or people?

  194. I am super thankful I am at home with just the cat. She and I agree about most things – she is in charge, I am only here to provide a lap, petting, dishing out food, and scooping her litter box. The only thing we have argued about is why she cannot have any of the turkey or chicken I am eating (a constant argument as she is allergic and will lick her fur off if she eats any).

  195. OMG! I love all of it, all your tribe has me so happy right now! My husband and I argued about Jenny’s first 7 topics of argument, then we argued about the same thing as Laurie and xstacydesign did about putting away groceries in a pandemic after Peapod delivered from an order from two weeks ago that finally arrived. And then last night we had a disagreement about whether he had allergies (spring pollen is a bitch in the NorthEast right now,) and an anxiety attack, or he had covid-19. I won, because he feels better today, so it’s definitely allergies and anxiety. (I’m so glad I was right, because the alternative is scary.) We agree on eating chocolate and junk food is self care, but he better not search out my hidden candy stash, because he will eat it all in a binge of self pity and guilt, and then get depressed that he’s gaining weight. Meanwhile I like to eat a couple of pieces each day and not run out of our stash before we get groceries again. Then we will argue about it until he pulls out the depression and anxiety card, and says he’s on meds and I’m making it worse, but I have severe anxiety too, so we will argue about whose depression and anxiety is more important. Then I’ll just shut up because he still has to go to his essential job every day, and I get to stay home and watch tv, so I guess his mental illness is more important than mine. We’ve been married 22 years, and actually we don’t argue very much, and we’ve learned when to back off, and in a small 2 bedroom apartment, if one of us is really in a shitty mood, that person goes into the bedroom and shuts the door and watches our little tv until they cool down. Couple goals! Learn how to argue and let go of arguments without creating nuclear winter in your homes. But I do say fuck and fucking mother fucker a lot these days. He knows to stay out of the kitchen if I’m slamming dishes as I wash them
    In the sink. Don’t poke the bear….

  196. He hates my love of tiktok. I really love that older British gentlemen who speaks ratchet rap songs. It makes me smile after a long day with three kids in one little house.

  197. The only argument the wife and I have had is the fact I can’t hear her. Duh, I failed my last hearing test big time. Why she thinks I can hear after it was proven medically I can’t is beyond my ken, LOL.

  198. Whether oranges have stems or if technically the stem belongs to the tree, thus proving oranges don’t have stems.

  199. We were going to declutter our basement. I am a neat freak and my husband is essentially a hoarder.
    Him: Here, you hold the trash bag. (starts picking up one thing off a giant pile of broken toys, putting it back, picking up another thing)
    Me: I’m going to go now. Don’t follow me, I have weapons and I will kill you.

  200. Whether he’d actually told me what he’d decided on for dinner, or I just wasn’t paying attention. How I should be spending more time on our family cookbook project instead of pushing it off to raid my stash to sew masks that we suddenly apparently need. Where the pound of sliced turkey went. Who ate all the peanuts. Whether the leftovers in the fridge are too old. Whether we have too many leftovers in the fridge. Whether he bought too much milk at the store. How full the freezers need to be. How to organize the freezers.

  201. The cause of my one & only meltdown thus far was because my 15 yo son put a browser extension on Chrome that turned all of my co-workers into Nicolas Cage. I panicked and emailed the Tech department, then later had to explain that everything was OK. I went into shutdown after that and slept through my office hours.

  202. Whether society actually needs sports now that none are being played.
    Whether there are more than five things you can do with hamburger.
    Whether a drive-by birthday party is enough for a 6 year old.
    Whether just promising not to swear on Sunday constitutes Easter religious services.
    Whether one can tell by taste if a chicken was free-range or not.
    Whether I (grandma) spend way too much time in my room watching Netflix instead of joining the latest debate in the living room.

  203. -Whether or not an education plan created by mom should happen on “Spring Break” after weeks of no school.
    -Is drinking alcohol at all hours available to me as a lifestyle choice since unemployment is now my new norm?
    -How many days my 12 year old can go without a shower since nobody can smell her except me.
    -Whether the bumblebee on my back deck is trying to flirt with me or threaten me. I wont hang out on the back deck long enough to find out.

  204. The only arguments we have is with our kids and trying to get them to do the online assignments for school. Their school has closed for the year and they don’t see the need to do this. LOL! Your arguments are much more entertaining!

  205. Holy molly get down what an impressive gripe list! What are the in-home survival odds?

  206. why if you are making your self second breakfast, it should go without saying that I want one too.

  207. I am one of the lives-alone-with-pets people, and we don’t have many disagreements, though they seem to have picked up on my personal stress. But, I can remember what it was like to have to share space with other people I liked/loved. My problem is the several-times-a-day existential dread, and periods of uncontrollable tears I cannot explain. None of those moments lasts long, and I get on with work, or housework, or yard work, or whatever is the activity at hand. Pandemic sucks.

  208. I live alone with a cat. We argue about him scratching me and how I don’t like it. We argue about how I need to make the bed because our home is very small and its the center of the room and its the first thing people see. We argue about how his dinner time is later because I unlike him cannot sleep all day like him. I know he’s a cat I’m a human.

  209. I live alone with a cat. We argue about him scratching me and how I don’t like it. We argue about how I need to make the bed because our home is very small and its the center of the room and its the first thing people see. We argue about how his dinner time is later because I unlike him cannot sleep all day like him. I know he’s a cat I’m a human.

  210. My 16 yr old son has been extra teenagery and argumentative the last couple days because he thinks that if we’re going to be staying home anyway, he shouldn’t have to do school work. Because clearly watching 15 episodes of Phineas and Ferb in a row followed by Teen Titans Go are CLEARLY more important.

    I don’t have any fucks left to give nor the spoons to give them even if I had fucks to give at this point.

    And bathroom fixer people (IDK what they’re actually called) are doing the renovation on our bathroom in a few days. According to them, the outside estimate is 18 full days but hopefully, because our bathroom is smallish, it will take maybe 5-6 days at best.

    Trying to get my son to do his schoolwork while they’re making a crapton of noise renovating the bathroom next week is going to be SO MUCH FUN. :-/

  211. Who is going to cook. I prefer him to cook and I clean up. I don’t want to cook. If I lived alone I would be eating cheese sandwhichs and soup and popcorn and of course CHOCOLATE!

    Reminding him every time he goes out to wash his hands upon return.

    Asking him if he really needs to do the urgent thing that will take him out amoung the public.

    What to watch on TV.

    Rearranging his office so I can work from home. He is retired and doesn’t NEED it!

    Do we NEED to go to the grocery store again? Fresh items don’t last long & he hates frozen vegetables.

    Who is drinking all the coffee – we just bought coffee?

    Why am I crying? If the news makes me cry, just turn it off. As if.

  212. Important life experience: when turning any room into a craft room do NOT use old sheets for drop clothes. The paint goes right through them. My advise, only use new sheets for drop clothes. 😬

  213. Whether I am coughing too loudly and whether I should be able to cough more quietly (Because I’m totally doing it to annoy her)
    Whether I should blow my nose more or just sniff (She says blow it, I say blowing it does nothing and I’ve been sniffing for a year and this is the first time she’s had a major issue with it)
    Whether chocolate pudding topped with whipped cream counts as dinner (Duh, of course it is)
    Whether it’s okay to eat all the dip she made with the vegetables she cut or whether we should save some (clearly she shouldn’t have made so much if she didn’t intend me to eat it all)
    Whether or not it is a good idea to watch Outbreak and Contagion and other movies about the potential end of the world (I have no good argument about why it is okay but there we go)
    Whether it smells gross or “just like asparagus” when you pee after eating asparagus (It’s gross and she’s gross for not realizing that)
    Whether putting on clean pajamas after taking a shower counts as “getting dressed” (I say it counts if her taking work meetings in her bathrobe counts)
    What counts as a “reasonable” bed time (She complains about being tired every morning when getting up for work but is sitting on the couch when I wake up to pee at 1 am)
    Whether she makes moaning noises when she eats (She totally does)
    Whether she still makes moaning noises when she eats intentionally when I tell her it’s creepy and beg her to stop (She totally does)
    Whether my cat is “my cat” when he’s an asshole (Yeah, he is, gotta give her credit for that one)

  214. Which is least secure, a secure bank website with three security questions AND a log-in or paying a bill via landline on a portable phone. He is wrong to use the landline.

  215. It’s amazing how therapeutic it is to read these comments! My life is pretty sweet. The closest my husband and I have gotten to fighting is when he paused the tv one time too many to make some inane comment about what one of the characters was wearing. I don’t fucking care! I just want to watch the scene without breaking the dramatic flow! Just stop it!

    And he didn’t even get mad back at me.

    As problems go, it’s small potatoes. My heart goes out to those who with bigger problems.
    Love you Jenny. Love us all.

  216. Mainly we’ve been arguing about sharing the common space. My fiancé and I have both been working from home in a 2 bedroom apartment (1 is his daughter’s–she lives with her mom most of the time), and space is rather limited. I work in the kitchen part of the open living area and he works over by the couch, and I finish work before he does. So there’s a lot of arguing over whether his zoom meetings are actually more important than me watching en entire season of Community, or why on god’s green earth is he shouting on his conference call when I need to concentrate and why does he need to be in meetings at 8:00 at night anyway?

    Overall, though, we’ve been doing pretty ok as a couple, though my mental health has taken a hit the past few weeks. I keep reminding myself we’re lucky to still have our regular income, but I’m feeling the depression kicking in and there’s a part of me that wishes I had been laid off so I could take employment insurance and not have to keep working like normal when everything is so weird and scary and uncertain and all I want to do is sleep.

  217. My kid just shaved off an eyebrow but that’s not what we’re arguing about. We’re fighting over why she eats two dinners like a Hobbit. And never mind keeping milk in this house. I picked kale and even that’s gone, Easter candy stash? Gonzo. Want to lose weight? Borrow my teenager.

  218. The amount of groceries bought by my husband on his weekly trip to the store. More than double our weekly budget. We are all eating our weight in groceries weekly.

  219. A little playlet for you:

    Husband: “You bought from Amazon Fresh again? I told you I’d go shopping. You bought olives? Oh my gawd I don’t even wanna know how much they were…”

    Me: “I told you, the hummus was only 1.39. Anyway Covid is peaking now, I want us to be safe.”

    H: “you bought an onion? We didn’t really need one yet. You’re out of control.”

    Me: “They’re only .59 cents each— it’s like they’re paying us to shop there!”

    H: “YOU PAID THAT MUCH FOR AN ONION??”

    Me: “And shipping is free!” (Don’t mention the tip, don’t mention the tip…)

    H: […]

    Yep.

  220. I’ve been facing down his psychotic frugality for 28 years, by the way… but I’m a pain in the ass too, so it all balances out in the end. Awww, I love the big lug!

  221. My husband and I are not really arguing, which is probably odd. I just need to tell you yes to new outfits for the taxidermy and hard NO to Squirrely Temple in the house. Life doesn’t need to be THAT interesting right now.

  222. My hubby and I have an imaginary coworker we call Bobby. “Bobby left the garage light on again! Bad Bobby!” Etc……..
    It’s kept us laughing instead of fighting.

  223. I just finished Grad School and have come back to my parents house until I can get a job. My fiancé decided that rather than spend time with his family he needed to live with me in my childhood bedroom in my parents house.
    We argue about how he is treating my parents, how he leaves dishes in the bedroom, how he sits and plays video games all day, and why he refuses to leave the bedroom.
    When can I have my space back?

  224. My partner and I are spending a bit more time with each other than we’re used to which is bound to cause some tiffs. But hey we’re both human and its bound to be less than perfect.

  225. Whether meat needs to be fried on medium and stirred around a lot (thereby not browning and practically boiling in it’s own juices) or cooked on high a left to brown before stirring around (this is mine and I know I’m right). He’s sticking his nose in everything i do because he’s bored!!! xx

  226. Politics 🙄. Television, I am so tired of corny 80s movies and he hates Big Bang Theory. His bodily emissions. What is it with men and stinky smells?!
    The direction of the toilet paper roll. Everyone knows that the roll goes over, not under!

  227. I forgot another thing we are in discussions about. Unplugging everything after using them.
    I’m not joking. The toaster must be unplugged after use just in case “one of us” puts a fork in it 🙄. The blow dryer, the lamps,the essential oil burner, all of those have to be unplugged after using.
    So frustrating.

  228. In all honesty this pandemic has kind of worked for me. I live alone so no arguing. I can work from home so that is super lucky. I am getting lots done for my job so that is good. I have 4 dogs so plenty of cuddles. No parties to drag myself to, not brunches or traffic. I did not even have to go along with what ever bullshit my friends decided would be great for my birthday. I do happy hour virtually with friends and coworkers on video chat so we can all get hammered and nobody drives. I do get a little jealous of people posting their staying home doing nothing and sleeping till noon, but I am working, I will get paid, and I can do this for a really long time and loose nothing. Unless my bipolar or heart meds run out then it’s anarchy. I am so lucky, my neighbors and I wave and have conversations on the phone while standing at the window looking at each other. So pro tip: TP is only for poo, sacrifice your wash clothes for pee. Wash’em with some bleach, just like diapers back in olden times. in conclusion….ice trays are still a thing???? stay safe y’all keep Austin weird and healthy.

  229. Whose turn it is to clean up the dog poop
    How long to leave the corn on the cob on the grill
    Do you put laundry soap in first before clothes or once clothes are in the washing machine
    Which side of the couch belongs to which one of us
    Why (AGAIN) we don’t need a boat, snowmobile or RV
    And NOW why we don’t need a sauna in the basement
    Where the vacuum cleaner is
    Where the dishes go in the cupboard
    How to load the dishwasher the right way
    And all the other zillion mundane things we’ve disagreed over the last 42 years….

  230. Dirty Talk Week One of Shelter In Place

    Husband: Ohh baby, I’ve got you all to myself from sun up to sundown.
    Me: Honey, that’s not enough time at all.

    Dirty Talk Week Three of Shelter In Place
    Me: My yoga mat is dirty
    Husband: You’re my dirty little yoga mat
    Me: Please stop talking so loudly.

    https://damngirlgetyourshittogether.com/

  231. Heather26r – I know right?!? Why do we need to yell at our parents? Why do they not understand this is serious? Are they not the ones that taught us the difference between want and need? And why have they changed the rules now? Oi vey! My mom was looking for loopholes the other day and I was trying to explain short term pain for long term gain. (Not to discount the very real difficulties people are in due to this pandemic, my parents are retired and can afford to stay home so they need to just sit tight and be part of the solution not part of the problem – ending rant.)

    In my house, me myself and I have been arguing over whose whose turn it is to make dinner. Sometimes Nobody wins.

  232. Whether we’re the worst parents ever because we’re making the kids do BOTH online math tutoring AND regular school work.
    Whether Han Solo’s behaviour toward Leia is worthy of a sucker punch.
    Whether the basil I pruned is now going to die.
    Whether it’s acceptable to wash one’s face in the shower exclusively (i.e., only once a day).
    When to wash one’s hands.
    Whether coconut almond milk is an acceptable substitute for cream in a recipe for a blueberry lemon loaf.
    Which of the kids’ turn it is to clean out the cat litter and wash the dishes.
    Whether “It’s LUKEwarm inside a tauntaun” is funny.

  233. Evidently I don’t stack dirty dishes in the sink in the appropriate manner. I’m going to weigh in on your arguments: Should you bring Squirrely Temple inside? NO!!!! We DO have a squirrel in the house and it escaped from it’s cage and started chewing on my beautiful spinning wheel. I am not happy. Can you splatter paint on the garage floor? Hell yeah! IT’S A GARAGE – that’s what it’s for. There’s something wrong with a garage with no paint. Like those people don’t actually do anything handy!!! Isolate on!

  234. I didn’t read what is written I’m sorry for that. i’m desperate having a crisis for about 2 months there’s not a day when i don’t think about killing myself i just pulled a tuft of hair From my head with my hands. I can’t stop crying everything hurts I’m scared I don’t want to do this but I don’t see any other way out. I’m sorry for saying that but I don’t know anywhere else To ask for help I’m sorry

  235. Whether I really want to go back to work. I have been enjoying having my wife and daughter at home. I also love the time I get to read, bake, and cook. If only my damn AC was working properly right now…

  236. Two weeks after taking a herbal drugs i was tested herpes negative and i also got my lover back, you can reach his email, he can also help you(robinsonbucler@gmail. com ..!!”……..

  237. Whether you defrost frozen leftovers in the fridge or on the dish drainer. His way is “quicker and more efficient.” If you never hear from me again, it wasn’t COVID, it was botulism.

  238. Who braves the driveway to put the garbage cans out and bring them back. Who braves the grocery store. Who makes the phone calls (like there’s corona virus leaking through out cell phones)!

  239. Every day is a new discussion of whether to support local businesses by ordering meals to be delivered, or if we have enough food on hand and should just eat it.
    Also, is tonight going to be a movie night? Can we agree on a movie? Are we binging a TV show? Can we agree on a show? Who has control of the remote?

    And… WHO didn’t close the skylight last night? (obvs neither of us closed it, but who SHOULD have?)

  240. 1, why I burned the bacon
    2. who ate the last slice of cheese
    3. why do you keep buying chocolate which i love but shouldn’ t eat and will
    4. Dr. Oz, whom I think of as Dr. Quack, and you now think he’s “okay” because Trump likes him. ..
    5. Who left the cat door unlocked last night?

  241. Pseudo de-cluttering the basement argument part 2:
    (After the epic fail in part 1, I wait until he leaves the basement, then sneak back down, fill a trash bag, and put it in the trash can in the garage. What’s there to miss? The next day, going to the basement to feed the cats, I notice that the shelves I cleaned out are full again. He went through what I put in the trash and took half of it back out again.)
    Him: What?
    Me: I should have gone with arson.

  242. If the kids are not going to school doesn’t that mean they are on a break (they don’t have distance learning from the school)
    Why can’t we spend as much time as we want on electronics
    How and when food should be eaten (from my mother staying with us)

  243. Arguing about whether or not to get chickens to keep in a coop. And should we get a puppy to add to family when we have a senior dog already.

  244. So far, no arguments. At most there was a discussion about my parents taking turns doing the grocery runs (if left to his own devices my dad will do everything himself).

  245. Believe it or not (and I’m having a hard time believing it), we are getting along better since beginning the quarantine.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: