Okay, yesterday I told you about that weird thing in my backyard that is humping and stealing my cantelopes and a bunch of you were like, “NUTRIA!” and that’s a good answer but I know nutrias and that’s not one. But then someone else (Didi) was like, “Sounds like a white-nosed coatimundi” and I looked it up and I think that is totally what it is. Most of them are in South Texas though, which makes me think that maybe this is an escaped pet and now I can’t chase it off because it’s hungry and apparently they fucking love melons. So now I think I’m part owner of an outdoor coatimundi or some sort of mutant squirrel that’s just having me on so I keep growing cantaloupes solely for his humping pleasure.
In other news, I’m still relying on instagram to make me smile on hard days and maybe you are too so today I’m sharing a few of my favorite posts of the week:
And now….time for the weekly wrap-up:
Shit I made in my shop (Named “EIGHT POUNDS OF UNCUT COCAINE” so that your credit card bill will be more interesting.):
- I literally made this for myself to keep people six feet away but honestly I think it works well for introverts forever.
This week’s wrap-up is brought to you by Dylan Brody, who I super love in real life. Dylan wrote a book called Relatively Painless and I don’t have to describe it to you because I already blurbed it: “My only complaint is that I wanted more, which is a good complaint to have. It made me laugh and cry and then laugh again and then pee and then cry. Lots of fluids lost. But in a good way. A book to make you appreciate the tragically funny and beautiful horror of family.” Then the book was sold, then the publisher went out of business and it came back and then it got picked up and promised to a lot of people, but then there was a thing and a slowdown and a pandemic and some civil unrest in the city where the press was which meant that now the book won’t be out until December 1st and the publisher feels a bit bad about that, so if you pre-order Relatively Painless right here now, you’ll get a PDF of the whole thing now and then a signed one when it’s ready. Plus, you can tell the publisher what you want Dylan to write in the book before they send it and he might write what you request. For real, you should read it. Click here. y’all.