Today I woke up and showered and cleaned my kitchen and answered emails and these were all things that seemed impossible a few days ago. Then I CALLED MY SISTER ON THE PHONE because I was wanted to talk to someone and she tried to act like it was totally normal but I am forever afraid of the phone and when I hung up I realized that for the first time in a very long time I feel like I’m coming out of this very long depression. It might only be a glimpse of temporary light or the beginning of a good period but whatever it is, I’m taking advantage of it to tell you two things:
ONE: There is a very elderly man and woman who I see walking (very slowly) together in my neighborhood sometimes and they are always wearing masks and at least 10 feet apart and each of them is always on the opposites side of the street from the other and at first I assumed it was a couple who were so fed up with each other they wanted distance but today I was in the front yard with Dorothy Barker and I overheard them shouting encouragements at each other and the guy was like, “You’ll have to call your granddaughter and tell her you broke your walking record today!” and she was all, “Hell, I’m going to make my husband put this on the Facebook!” and he was like, “Yeah! Carl is gonna be so proud!” and now I love them even more.
TWO: I just saw Queen Elizardbeth on the porch and she looked MAGNIFICENT. And I realize it’s possible that it is another lizard entirely but she had a look of quiet dignity that made me think that it was totally her.
I realize this isn’t much for a blog post I feel good today and I miss you and I just wanted to share.
Missed you as well! I am so glad Queen Elizardbeth and you are doing well.
I needed this. Thank you.
This is the kind of news we are in need of. 🙏💗
I’m happy for you. A good day is something to appreciate.
Yay for coming into the light again! You got this!
Love you, Jenny! One day/moment at a time.
They sound so cute!
I’ve been in a depression lately too and I finally set up an appointment with a new therapist, which I’ve been meaning to do for a very long time. (We moved several months ago and I have been putting off finding a therapist in our new city.)
(Proud of you. Making appointments with therapists is hard as hell to do when you’re dealing with depression. ~ Jenny)
I see an elderly couple walking with masks in my neighborhood and wondered why they wear the masks outside? I walk without a mask. Am I doing it wrong?
(Depends. If I’m walking in my yard I don’t wear a mask because I know no one will get close to me but if I’m walking in my neighborhood I wear a mask because I get distracted and don’t notice joggers running past me until it’s too late and they don’t always understand distancing. ~ Jenny)
You posted. That is huge! Length is immaterial. Go you!
Yay for the light! May it appear more frequently for us all.
It strikes me that even in bad periods you notice the things like the two elderly friends walking and I think that’s incredible and lovely. Keep taking care, Jenny!
Oh, what a sweet old pair. Imagine how hard it is for these older people to have almost nothing to do. I keep feeling sick for my senior in high school and people who’ve cancelled weddings . . . but this does suck for the elderly. Well, it sucks for everyone. Hoping this chapter closes soon.
Happy to hear you are having a good day and that you even got an impromptu lizard visit.
That’s an excellent blog post. Queen Elizardbeth deserves a great for assisting you out of the dark. She helped me out of the dark so virtual curtsy to you both Qeens.
Love you.
My brain hasn’t been braining good for over a week. I thought my meds were working, and the adjustments helped… and maybe they are, maybe it was just a dip. Not like there’s anything going on it the world that would send my brain into A Thing…
Anyway today seemed a little brighter for me too.
I love the elderly walkers story- I used to work at the mall, and could keep time by which elderly mall walker passed by. A few were regular customers, getting a seltzer or liquorice stick… I’d be doing something, and walk back to the counter to find exact change and know who’d been in. So cute.
So glad to hear you’re having a good day 🙂 And those older folks sound lovely
I’m cheered by the details in this post because I can hear your tone in the writing and it sounds hopeful and engaged with The Outside, which is hard for any of us to look at these days. Since I feel increasingly afraid if The Outside over the recent days, this post connected me with it here on The Facebook and I really smiled thinking of dignified-surely-the-real-Queen-Elizardbeth in The Outside, too. Thanks, Jenny, from The Inside. Xoxo
I’m glad you are having a moment of less darkness. I finished reading an ARC of Broken this weekend and want you to know that at least two chapters had me laughing out loud so hard that I started wheezing and crying, as well as startling the cats. It was the best laugh I have had in many many months….The best part of my laughing was the chapter about not being able to go to the post office any more. It felt so good to laugh that hard, so thank you.
-Mary Anne (a long time reader, dating back to the arrival of Beyonce the Giant Chicken)
(You just made my day. ~ Jenny)
You are wonderful, Jenny! 💗
Love this … love you… thank you… <3
So pleased you’re having a brighter day and realised so that you could acknowledge and share it with us. I hope that you have many more in succession, because light days make world events easier to deal with. Enjoy the rest of your day.
This is the best kind of post – all chock full of reasons to smile 😊 Sending love!
It is up and down for all of us these–especially those of us who walk on the wonky side at the best of times. When I see moments of kindness–for example, a friend sent me a link to an art project where total strangers kiss and it was sweet and weird and funny (https://youtu.be/IpbDHxCV29A)–I get got SLAMMED with emotion. Messy ugly loud crying. And I looked at my worried partner and sputtered “this is actually a good sign.” Enjoy your good signs.
Somehow I think that the fact that tomorrow is the beginning of 4 new years might have something to do with the cloud lifting. I have no idea what your politics are, but it feels to me like a great heavy gray cloud is dissipating.
Happy you are feeling well and I hope it lasts forever. :o)
There have been a few days this last week or so where I’ve felt covered by the darkness and not able to explain it. Super unpleasant. It’s always a relief to come out the other end of it with some sense of sanity feeling intact.
Darkness is mysterious. It provides good cover when we want to escape.
But sometimes there is a darkness that enters the mind that is so unpleasant. Something the exact opposite of solitude.
@WriterDann
I’m glad you shared this with us. It made me smile.
Go Jenny! You’re a rockstar!
I’m coming out of a depression brought on by changing the medicine that is supposed to make me NOT depressed. Go figure. But during this dark time, I’ve been re listening to the audio book of Furiously Happy, and it’s helping me feel not so alone. It’s making me laugh and cry and just feel something other than nothing. Thank you for that.
Welcome back! That seems like a lovely friendship. Sending love.
Yay for you, Jenny! I think much of the US is coming into lighter days . . . tomorrow! And I just got this message in my Dove candy: You got this!
Loved all of these updates. Thanks for sharing and celebrate today!
Hooray for every little victory these days!
I think my sisters would also wonder if I called them on the phone just to chat. I never do that.
Queen Elizardbeth totally knows where the good spots are now, so you will be seeing her on your house frequently. It’s definitely her.
Glad you’re starting a good period of time – I hope it lasts forever.
I’ve been in bed w/flu headache for 2 days and woke to a txt from my *bonus* daughter (she’s 23) who said in her sleepy not awake state this morning, she fell back asleep and 2 of our dogs, who are over the rainbow bridge, appeared to her, and she was surprised to see ‘my’ dog, Grace (who I had before she came into my life) but in this dream/vision she said I knew Grace was there with Dargo and we were all happy… She says she doesn’t usually dream about people or dogs, so I know it was them checking in on her, and that she shared this with me, well, I felt all sorts of healing flood my body. Small signs are the best on difficult days!… And that totally was Elizardbeth!!!
You are not alone. I, too, am struggling with keeping my head out of the hot pool of depression and feels like I have weights on my feet. It’s a struggle to get through the day without crying, but little things are making it somewhat easier — like your post. I do not revel in your situation, but it makes me feel less of a freak to know that others share my plight.
Thank you for always being brave to share your thoughts and life with us. <3
Thanks for this. Today is especially shitty and this post made me happy. The Queen has returned to the castle. You, Victor and Hailey need to practice a proper curtsy(or curtsey?)
having a tough day too — thanks for the encouragment of possibilities. Hope your good day turns into a good week.
So glad you’re having a good day! And Queen Elizardbeth as well.
I’m glad you’re having a much lighter day!!! Xoxo
Not much of a note, but happy you are feeling yourself again. 🙂
I can imagine the joy your sister felt when she heard your voice. <3
Also, I had forgotten about Queen Elizardbeth and initially thought you had actually (somehow) seen QE II and I was puzzling over why this made you happy. So I had a little chuckle about it. Thank you for the ray of sunshine today!
I’m so far down in the black hole right now that I’m struggling to find a pinhole of light. Lost both parents within 10 weeks of each other at the end of 2020 (not COVID, just excessive maturity) Reading this helped a little bit. Thanks Jenny.
Great to hear! Gotta love the good days.
Hooray for you! The thought of doing all that makes me need to lie down.
Aw! I missed you so much! I’m glad you popped in 🙂 Things have changed a little in my world, too, starting with finally getting some brain meds that work even though the chemo fog remains. Much love, Jenny. XOXO
Good to hear from you. I totally understand.
So pleased and happy for you!!!! Thanks for sharing your journey, both good and not so good. We love you.
Elizardbeth might just be a dude.
I just started coming out of dark myself! It’s such a glorious feeling. And since I try to always find things to be grateful for in life, I thanked my sadness for it’s role in helping me feel the happy.
I needed this. I’m still in the depths, but grateful to feel a little less alone. Thank you, Jenny.
Yay for coming out of the dark, awesome old people, and Queen Elizardbeth. (Also my autocorrect totally suggested Elizardbeth and that is seriously awesome and also makes me glad my best friend goes by Liz)
I’m so glad you are feeling better today, and Queen Elizardbeth is still hanging around in good health. I love that the two elderly neighbors are supporting each other by exercising in a socially distant way. Exercise helps depression and anxiety by releasing endorphins and reducing stress.
T. J. Holmes on Good Morning America said today on air that he’s having a bad mental health day, and he felt everyone needed to know that’s his headspace today. I thought it was incredibly brave and helpful to other people for a national figure who was a male and an African American to publicly say “I’m having a bad day, and I need to let people know.” The more of us who publicly say, “I’m not okay” when we are having a rough time, the less stigma will be put on mental health issues and less shame felt in asking for help when we need it.
Thank you Jenny, for sharing yourself and your little posts mean just as much to me as your big serious posts, sometimes more, because they make me feel less alone, and give me hope.
Good to see you! So glad you are still here! ❤
I moved from N. Texas to S.W. Virginia 2.5 months ago, and I am STILL bashing my skull against the table top over trying to find a psych here in this semi-podunk town to manage my meds without charging ridiculous amounts of money. (That is, if they even answer the phone or return a message…)
VERY thankful for my most kind and patient psych back in Texas, who is still sending refill prescriptions. Otherwise, I would be completely hosed.
“Healthcare” in America.
Don’t get me started.
Unrelated, except I hope it will also cheer you. My 14yo was diagnosed with anxiety and depression this fall and went through a very dark period. For Christmas, I bought her Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, because it was the book I’ve read that made me laugh the most, and I knew she could use a laugh. She devoured it and asked for the next. She has enjoyed Furiously Happy even more, because she can relate. She says the reason I enjoyed it but “didn’t find it as funny as the first one” was because I didn’t feel comfortable laughing at the content, while she is an insider, and she’s probably right. I’ve preordered Broken for her. Thanks for being a hugely bright spot in a really crappy time. (She’s trending really well!)
I am re-reading Furiously Happy now to help me through my depression and Jenny, you made me laugh out loud for the first time in a long time. You wrote something like: “I don’t mark time with B.C.and A.D. I measure it by B.K.C.W.C.: Before Kirk Cameron Went Crazy. More true today than when you wrote it. Sending love and thanks to you & this great community of survivors. XO
Any day with you is a good day!
Today was a good day for me too. While I did not get out of my pajamas I did clean my kitchen (even the stovetop) and made some soup. These were great accomplishments, my goal for tomorrow is to take a shower and get dressed in actual clothes.
I have started to notice moments of wanting to get things done, the sunlight must be coming back a bit. I have seasonal depression, it happens every year as the days get shorter and the sun is gone. I usually manage to pull our of it some time after the end of January most years.
Glad you had a good day too.
I am in a bad depression hole, so I think I’m going to get a horse tomorrow.
Love you, Jenny. I’m kind of backsliding at the moment, so this gives me hope. Thank you for sharing, and long may the Queen reign.
So happy for you! It’s amazing that you see and appreciate the special things that others often don’t notice. How beautiful. Your post helped me today to realize those days I lose to what I deem “ unproductive” time are ok to accept. You remind me the energy and light do come…..they cannot be scheduled…. enjoy this day! Looking forward to your next book!
I’m glad you saw the light today may this be one of many more days out of the darknes.
Does anyone have any suggestions how I can get an ARC of Jenny’s new book? I’ve tried NetGalley and giveaways but no luck. Without getting into the details, I’m trying to get it now because chances are good that I will not be here come April. Not looking for sympathy, just don’t want to miss a chance to read it. I’d be willing to send it back if I could borrow someone’s. I think it would be really good for me right about now. Thank you.
Lajeannotte@gmail.com
I am so happy that you’re coming out of the dark. Having lived with this all of my adult life, I know exactly what it is you are feeling. A ray of light, of hope and continued happiness to come.
This was an absolutely perfect post. As we spend more time at home (hopefully), we are finding the stories behind seemingly mundane things that we would have once ignored. Thanks for the update. You are in our thoughts.
You’re a marvel, and so admired. Glad you’re starting to leave the dark behind you.
So happy that you are starting to see some light. I’m just riding out the beginning of a bout of depression. I’m sure it’s a combination of my usual mental health issues and the very unusual world circumstances we are all dealing with. Looking for light is important and finding even a glimpse of it is amazing. I wish you success in finding more light every day!
Jenny, I ordered 2 of your 2021 calendars because I knew I would give one away eventually. It happened to be my sister when she stopped by one day last week. She looked at it and laughed. I asked if she had read any of your books and she said she hadn’t so I gave her my copy of “Let’s Pretend…” You have yet another fan!! And now I’ll be buying my 10th copy of “Let’s Pretend…” because I can’t be without it and I keep giving my copies away!! Anyway…long story to say thank you for being you!!
Any blog post you are up to is welcome, but a QElizardbeth sighting and old people walking/encouraging each other is TOTALLY worth it.
It’s really good to hear from you and I’m so glad you’re seeing some light ❤ I have been fighting against what I call “The Pit” Thankfully I haven’t fallen too far down it this go around and I’m actually making some progress with climbing out. I’m sure it was Queen Elizardbeth and that she was stopping by to tell you she was good and to thank you for helping her and reading about her and the elderly couple made me smile 😊 thank you
Sending you love and hugs
This is beautiful on three levels – you, the elderly friends <3, and of course a Queen Elizabeth siting.
Congrats! I totally hate talking on the phone, too, so when I do call someone it’s also a big deal. Just wanted to say that I’m happy for you!
I have only come into the light a short few months ago upon reading “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” and finding your blog. Several members of my family, including my 2 adult children, suffer from anxiety and/or depression. Is it wrong of me to say how happy I am when I read you are coming out of a cycle, I presume because it gives me hope for them? Started “Furiously Happy” last night. Thanks for sharing you!
You have Carl put THAT on the Facebook! Glad you feel good. https://possumscatsthingsgnawingatme.wordpress.com/2021/01/16/a-relaxing-day-with-cats/
Hoping it’s a long, long, long good period for you. At least the national news is getting better and we don’t have to spend so much energy on resisting the chaos and hatred that have surrounded us for so long. Be of good cheer and enjoy the sunshine.
Love you, Jenny!
I love you so much, and I’m glad today was less crap.
This is why I have to have a job. WIthout a purpose, I can fade into hesitation & procrastination and simply not dealing with life. This is what works for me, not an assumption that my fix would be yours. I’ve retreated from life and slowly come back so your words resonated with me. It was so much worse when I was younger. As I’ve gotten older, I worry less because I care less? I care less about the small stuff. I’m doing the best that I can, and I have gotten better about being less stupid.
I just wanted to say that it got better, not worse, for me as the years passed. I wish the same for you. And I really hope to take a visit to San Antonio when this Covid is over so I can visit your bookshop. 🙂 Tiny steps will get you there! Eventually.
Take the little successes when they come! Celebrate being able to do stuff you couldn’t bring yourself to do before. It’s all progress, even if it’s small. I suffered a major anxiety and depression breakdown in September, the first in my life. It was so bad I had to take FMLA to recover. I got on new meds because Prozac was like, “Yeah, hahahaha, we’re done with you” and got a good therapist. I am not 100% better but enough that I was able to return to work. I booked a social distanced birthday Air Bnb with my husband and daughter in a freaking CABOOSEnin the middle of nowhere, Texas. Why? It symbolizes the end of riding the crazy train this past year. I’m an English teacher. I like symbolism. I also like trains. I also like medicines that make my brain behave.
Thank you for posting. 🙂
I just wanted share my cute old guy story. I stopped at the grocery store on my way to work and it was at the beginning of a blizzard. I carefully crept back to my car across the icy parking lot and watched the only other customer making his way to his car, using a walker. He had only purchased one item–a bouquet of flowers.
Thrilled you may have seen Queen E-Lizard and were entertained by the “middle-aged” couple. Also that you are feeling a bit more free. Always enjoy your posts. Hope the house and family have recovered from the wax paper fire. As always, wish you all well
Thanks for being there for us ❤️
I love everything about this post. You are all of us who struggle, but you are so much more amusing and well spoken than I! Thank you for being you and being brave again and again and again.
Welcome back to the light! We’re with you no matter the light level, even if it’s just a pinprick.
You showered AND cleaned your kitchen AND answered emails AND wrote a blog post. Sounds pretty good to me.
I’m very impressed at what you accomplished today! It’s so wonderful to have those ‘light at the end of the tunnel’ moments. It makes me hopeful.
I’ve been struggling a lot lately, the past few weeks I’ve been job-hunting/applying after nearly a year with no job (got laid off when covid restrictions began), and just tonight I came to the difficult realization that I’m not mentally able to do that right now. Applying, interviewing, I just can’t handle it at this point, nevermind actually *doing* a new job. I thought I was dealing with this whole world mess relatively okay, mental-illness-wise, but my mental health has rapidly gone downhill since starting the job searching.
It always gives me such hope to see other people, who I know struggle in often similar ways, finding that light again.
So glad you’re having a good day!
Jenny,
I love that there are such friends as that couple in the world, and I love that you noticed them, and I love that you are in a state where you *could* notice them. I hope your lifting mood is a sign that the world is getting to be a better place.
Share a crumpet with HRM Elizardbeth for me.
Ruth
This is a lovely post and thank you for sharing it! Also, lizards are cool.
Dear greetings to Queen Elizardbeth and let the force lift you gently from the pit
💗💗💗
I calls me li’l garden lizard pal Bill (pronounced in that weird Cockney way so it sounds like “Biww”), after the lizard in “Alice in Wonderland”, I does. No idea on its sex, and it works for both.
I live in San Diego, and Bill is an alligator lizard. When the species was first pointed out and named for me, all I could think of was America’s song “Ventura Highway”: “…alligator lizards in the aaaaaaaaiiiirrrr…” I thought they made that shit up, and when I realized they were real, I expected it to take off flying. I also consume prodigious amounts of cannabis. They don’t fly, but they jump and climb and parkour all over the place.
It never stops tripping me out how I’ll feel a certain way for a while that I can’t explain or understand, and then I’ll check in with y’all here and think “Oh, OK, good, so Jenny and a ton of other folks have been feeling this weird way for about the same amount of time, it’s not just me.” Your tribe of weirdos is tuned in to your vibe, my sister!
Your Pal,
Storm the Klingon
Thank you for the uplifting post Jenny!! Glad ur coming out of the darkness 🙂 Been struggling myself alot lately, been getting swallowed up by depression & anxiety, but I do feel a weight lifting & hope on the horizon with our soon to be new president & vice-president 🙂
I’m so glad too that you wrote, “I am forever afraid of the phone” because I so totally am too, like all the time, & it’s healing to hear I’m not the only one 🙂
Hugs!
I love that elderly couple, too. Being able to see these tiny joys and feel them too sure seems like evidenced that at least in that window of time your brain forgot to ignore joy!
Noticing small joys can be so hard, when nothing feels joyful, but I wonder how long your ally neurons have been peddling their stationary bikes yelling “Allez, allez, allez” to each other behind the scenes- and these joys are them finally cresting L’Alpe d’Huez.
I’m not much on spectator sports except Boston when it isn’t canceled and The Tour de France. I even told my husband yesterday that I if I ever live streamed on Twitch, it would be of me reading about plagues with Phil Liggett doing commentary.
I hope you’ve crested L’Alpe d’Huez.
I give us all les Maillot Jaune.
It might be more fitting to give us Maillot Argenté to match our silver ribbons.
Jenny you’re doing it. Our interconnectedness may mean someone else crests their peak, too. It’s hard to live life while simultaneously cycling up some of the most challenging terrain in France, with your mind. People who say a depressed person just isn’t trying hard enough, I’m going to put them on a Peloton, make them sing Wrecking Ball and have a work Zoom call all while trying to hide the peloton and singing.
Jenny, you deserve to not have depression. But until we have cures, you deserve every joy big and small and give us the gift of your strength. ❤️
Sarah
Dear Post Writer of Post 22
I followed the link and it’s so beautiful.
I had a good news cry as well, and had to explain to my husband the same thing. This cry is good news. I can be touched by beauty again.
Thank you for sharing.
Really, I mean it. I wish there was a different, rarely used word that meant “Thank you. You’ve altered my life for the better.”
i love this. it made it possible for me to get out of the bed.
Welcome back <3
I read Queen Elizardbeth’s blog and it was totally her because she posted “I just saw the Lizard Angel peek out and she looked MAGNIFICENT! I’ve been so worried about her. It’s such a relief to see her face and know that she’s still fabulous!”
It gives me hope.
Thank you for echoing my feelings. I have felt like I had a heavy anchor dragging me down. The pandemic’s isolation has intensified my agoraphobia. Yesterday was the first day I could feel the sunshine and hope. Onward like the snail 🐌 I shall go.
I am afraid of the phone, too. I wish I weren’t. I would call more people I miss. When someone calls me, I can talk forever! But, they have to call me… I wonder what my problem is. I don’t feel depressed, it just seems like I may call someone and that person may be in the middle of something and instead of being a welcome surprise, I will be an annoying gnat.
Thank you, Dear Jenny.
So glad you’re feeling better!😄 Take those days and run with them to the fullest for sure!
I love you so much. That’s all I want to say. I love you, Jenny. If this helps you when you feel down, please remember that I love and treasure you. Not in a weird or creepy way, but in a “atta girl, you got this” way, okay?
I’m so glad to hear this Jenny. I’ve been fighting a depression for several months now, and so far it hasn’t taken complete hold, but neither has feeling normal. I can’t seem to get back into the swing of things, but I’m always happy to hear when one of us finds the light, even if it’s temporary! Enjoy it.
After nearly ten years of grief events, sticking to the meds and therapy finally has me coming out of the hole. And now I’m trying to figure out how to operate my own brain without a manual. You’ve been a voice of hope and love the whole time. I hope this continues. We’ll all be here. Hugs to you.
You have such a big, warm heart, Jenny. Big enough to wrap all of us broken folks in your world class virtual HUG. Our brains all stumble along the best they can, and our hearts jump in to keep each other and ourselves afloat. Wishing you a super-long stint of feeling on top of the world.
The Dark is long. The Light may be blinding but with balance all thing are possible. Don’t Give UP! We can do this together.
Missed you, love you.
In a deep depression anxiety rut. Does anyone on here know if Jenny shares any of her secrets to getting through, maybe in a book or particular # posts? Thanks
I just came out of one of the worst 2 weeks I’ve had in years, and it really made me step back and re-evaluate my self-care. Taking care of yourself is of the highest importance and you do what you need to. Just remember you have the biggest support group ever and we are all here to help you get through and be there for each other. This is exactly why I love you and I love being here and I love how everyone just wants to get us all through it.
I LOVE this post!
I definitely needed this today. Thank you, Jenny, for being your fabulous self & an all-around wonderful human being!
Depression is a total assbitch and I too, am currently feeling her wrath. And it sucks. But then I read something that makes me smile, like this post, and I feel a little better. 🙂
It makes me happy that you had a good day! Many more to come.
Aloha! I’ve been reading your blog for a long time. It helps me every time you post. Mahalo. You are truly blessed with a gift for putting feelings into words.
The light is always waiting. We just have to remember to go looking for it.
Loved all of these updates. Thanks for sharing and celebrate today!
Your story of the elderly couple reminds me of the time my daughter and I were swimming laps at the Y, and in the next lane was an elderly couple. He was teaching her to swim. It was THE SWEETEST THING EVER. Later, when i asked my daughter (she was about 10) if she’d noticed the couple next to us, and that the man was teaching the woman to swim, my daughter said,”Oh, I thought they were dancing.” which is the 2ND SWEETEST THING EVER. I love your story, too!
Jenny (may I call you Jenny?), I wanted to come here and thank you for your book “You Are Here”, because doing a page or two got me through an especially terrible depression storm monster last week. Recently, the therapist and I have decided to make my anxiety a very cute, but deranged small animal, I see it as a chihuahua mix. It is reallllly trying to alert me to all the dangers of the world, but it is not really doing a terribly good job, because it sees everything as a danger. That works great, but I asked her if there’s any way to make friends with depression, when that effer just kicks me into a hole and takes the ladder away. How do you make friends with THAT? I told her about you (she will be researching haha!) and that I always think of your phrase “DEPRESSION LIES” and it helps me. Thank you for being here, thank you for your work, it has made a very real difference in my life. And I’m really glad you’re coming out a bit from your current thing, and please know that your ripples in the pond reached over here to me. <3
I fell into the dark again today. It is my birthday, 40, yay, and like every year, I am just not able to celebrate myself, so I alternate between hating myself, for being miserable and being miserable for hating myself so much My husband and child are trying their best, but I just can’t ever get out of this spiral. I had plans to celebrate this big one, but I just can’t let myself have good things. I wish I could, but I just can’t turn it around. And so I am sitting by myself on my couch, crying about how stupid I am, instead of spending my day with people who clearly love me.
(You are not alone, friend. I’m sending you happy birthday wishes. ~ Jenny)
Perfect example of ignorant Group-Think. Why on earth are these two people still walking on other sides of the street from each other?
You posted. That is huge! Length is immaterial. Go you!
You know these posts are the ones that makes us love you the most, because some of us are still in bed or fighting with someone we love who can’t understand and depression lies so when you DON’T it means we might have hope.
🙂