I just went out to walk Dorothy Barker and an exterminator was outside looking at these beetles and he was like, “Hi, I’m Alan” and I wanted to say something like, “Hi, I’m Jenny but you need to talk to my husband because he’s the one who called you so let me go get him” but my head did that thing were it just got jumbled and panicky and instead I said, “HI I’M…NOT FOR YOU.” And then I gave myself a look of disgust and said, “Nope. Those are not the words I wanted” and he just stared at me so I turned around and went inside and made Dottie hold it until he was gone. My point is, don’t ever feel bad that I’ve forgotten your name because I literally just forgot my own.
MY BOOKS:
Subscribe to the bloggess, y'all.
Archives
MY INSTAGRAM
Swipe to enhance.
Personalizing stacks of books today and having lots of feelings. So many people send my books to others who are struggling. They ask me to write specific notes to their loved ones and the requests are so beautiful that I want to share them but I won’t bc it seems too personal. But just between you and me, if you’ve written something lovely to someone you love and I get to transcribe it for you I feel very lucky bc your words touch me as well. I am warmed by your fire.
Apparently two of my books were used without permission to train generative-AI systems. So, that sucks.
I can write. I can doodle. My talents do not extend to video. Sorry.
ALL THE COOL KIDS ADVERTISE HERE:
I fucking love these people & not just because they support my wine-slushee habit:
Good Afternoon. I’ve been telling people all day that while we have noise cancelling headphones, we really need people cancelling eyeglasses. I suspect you will agree.
Whoops! I end up saying things that are not what I wanted to say all the time.
I end up swearing blind I actually did something, like had a conversation, sent an email, went to the shop — and nope, I did not.
To Shannon, I do that too. In my case, I think too hard about something and then am no longer sure if I “said” it, or “meant to say it”.
Oh boy. I called a friend of mine a few years ago and when she picked up I totally forgot her name AND my name. I had to ask her if she recognized my voice🙄
Jenny will never be Ofalan. NEVER!
While I haven’t forgotten my own name, I’ve definitely forgotten how to make words, so it looks like this:
Person: Good Morning!
Me: WERF
Blame the chemicals. Who can think when their brain is being exposed to rat poison and whatever it is that can kill cockroaches.
I once had to introduce MY MOTHER and forgot her name! I literally said, “This is… my mother, whose name escapes me…” That’s when I learned this key public speaking tip: WRITE EVERY DAMN THING DOWN!
I have forgotten my own name. I was in the mailroom trying to find my box at work and could not find mine. I actually scanned every name in the room thinking I would recognize it when I saw it but did not. I had to leave without my mail.
We all have those moments. Once while I was pushing my grandson in a shopping cart, another woman stopped to admire him. I gushed on and on about how grateful I was that he lived close by and I was able to spend so much time with him and what a special bond we had. Then she asked his name and my mind completely shut down…I couldn’t remember his name to save my life. Needless to say, I was mortified and left quickly before anyone summoned the authorities to rescue that poor child.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who has a brain that does things like this. I feel like I’m forever going, “Really, brain? Really?” Lol.
You are all my people! I’m so relieved to know that I’m not alone.
I am a volunteer with CASA. I had to visit a child at the hospital, and the front desk person asked me how I knew them and I said, I’m their CASA. The receptionist asked me what CASA stood for and I went completely blank. (I’m sure she was thinking “sure, let me open the door for you, you person who doesn’t know what organization you are with.”)
I tend to take 2 words that I meant to say and combine them into one word that makes no sense. 🥴
At least it wasn’t “you too!”?
Sometimes I do this. On. Live. TV. Side note, I also recently tried to open my office door lock with my car door clicker. Brain Farts R Us.
I have implemented the practice of telling people, ‘ 1 moment, my brain is loading (buffering)’ and i have found it liberating. Notifying someone that you are gathering your thoughts has landed much better than silence in my anecdotal experience
You are not the only one! I live in terror of having to introduce people because invariably I will forget at least one name, usually the person I’ve known longer. I went to introduce the man I had been dating for a year and a half to my neighbor, who has been living next to me for six years (and who always seems to be in his driveway when I’m coming or going, so I am forced to say hello way too often), and couldn’t remember either one of their names. So embarrassing! I often can’t even remember the dog’s name when I need to call him back from barking at someone. I have totally called the dog my daughter’s name when I was yelling at him, too. >.< Buffering brains, indeed!
After my horrific accident in 2020 and subsequent brain injury that came from said accident, I’ve had more of these embarrassing incidences I’d care to “think” about 😂 I have started to write everything down….and when all else fails I just say, “I’m so sorry I’ve not had my caffeine today….or in 2-3 weeks….”!!! 😂
I *love* all of you!! It’s good to get reminded that I am not alone in weirdness.
A. I often remember names, but I cannot always form sentences. That can be waaaay too much work for my brain sometimes.
B. I have a friend who speaks English as a second language. It was so much fun to see her learn the term “brain fart” the other day. And when I described them, she totally recognized what they are, because some me things transcend language!
I was arguing with my spouse once during a migraine. He said something, and I was giving a extremely well thought out response. And then he said, “You’re not talking.”
I had been responding in my mind but in reality, I was just pointedly staring.
Technically, you weren’t WRONG, though. Unless you WERE for Alan, but I bet Victor doesn’t share.
I remember one time looking through my high school year books and could not find myself IN ANY OF THEM! Turns out I was looking under my married name …
Wording is HARD. I am not good at it most days. Things start off fine in my head, but lose momentum the closer they get to coming out of my mouth. There’s line-cutting, some words get distracted by butterflies, others just sit down and insist that they will not do the thing. My words are basically kindergartners.
I totally thought you were going to respond, “Alan? As in Ken’s friend?”
I tried to tell my grandson what a nice job he did hand painting his sneakers. I ended up saying “Nice hand job.”
On first reading, I thought it was a terminator outside, and I was going to congratulate you on going out in the first place!
I’m relieved to find there are other people like me. You’re my tribe.
Like Angela Brown, I also suffered a traumatic brain injury(2003), which just rubbed salt-in-the-wound of having undiagnosed ADHD. Finally got diagnosed in 2016, but it doesn’t stop my mouth from spewing pure confusion of the brain messages.
I just love you all SO much. I started losing words and memory after being on high doses of prednisone over a decade ago. I find myself making these gestures as if I’m pulling taffy from my mouth to try to get the words out. I think it helps sometimes.
I do that too, with my own mother, looking right at her face!
And I have a mild facial blindness issue where if I see you somewhere out of the context of where I know you from, even if I see you every day somewhere else for years, I don’t recognize you or remember your name.
It’s totally embarrassing, but I usually say “ sorry, I don’t recognize people or remember their names out of context of where I know them from, and then they remind me, and it’s all good. People can be very understanding if you let them.
I also have told them “ my hard drive is full.” It’s a wonderful excuse that leaves them either laughing in understanding or very confused, and we can be confused together.
While helping a customer at work recently, I stopped myself just in time before my brain mushed two perfectly polite statements — “You’re welcome!” and “No problem!” — into the MUCH less appropriate “YOU’RE A PROBLEM!”
My favorite reply, after just goofing up a name or sentence, is “I’m not so good at words, can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?”
You really are a goofball. And I LOVE it! Wanna be my pal?
Needed a laugh! You always bring tears to my eyes! Thank you for being you.
I’m not for everyone either
But did you get Victor for him?!
I swear this is why God gave us IMDb and the Internet. Individual words just seem to go into hiding. I haven’t forgotten my spouse, children or (most of) my co-workers yet…
When we were closing on our house, my husband and I arrived first and they sent us into a room to wait. As I sat down, my purse tipped off the table and I thought it was open so I’m trying to grab it without dumping everything all over the floor. And of course it was that moment the assistant walked into the room. She introduced herself to my hubby, then shook my hand and said “Hi I’m Anna!” To which I responded with “Hi! I’m awkward! I mean…Nat.”
I mean, I wasn’t wrong?
Also, my purse was zipped so there was never any danger of it falling all over the place in the first place. Yup.
You ARE the one for me thighs. I am not even going to correct that error though. Anyhow, I can relate. You should hear me order take out… I usually have to hang up and call on another phone in a fake accent to pretend I wasn’t the idiot who messed up the chicken wings order.
I can’t remember who I am half the time.
Maybe you caught a contact high from him wafting Exterminator Drugs from his person. TLDR: Blame him
Jenny, your buffering Peter Klaven moment is my actual everyday experience, and I send you and everyone here affirming hugs.
I hope my epic brain fart story will help you and others feel better about having record skipping brains, as you are not alone.
I’ll never forget the most embarrassing day of my life. It happened years ago when I waited in line to audition for the show “American Idol.”
A major news channel was at the audition site (the former massive Qualcomm stadium in San Diego) and approached me while I stood in the queue and asked me to sing on camera. I agreed, but then when the camera panned to me I completely froze for a good few minutes, like Mitch McConnell bad.
I had no clue what my audition song was nor the lyrics, like selective hellish amnesia. I scrambled and asked my mom what my audition music was, even though I practiced it night and day for weeks prior.
The news crew wanted to get the bit, so they gave me a few minutes and then I eventually sang on camera. I prayed that the mortifying forgetful footage would never see the light of day.
My nightmare came true and the complete news clip was aired 🫣. My then boyfriend at saw it and told me how the newscasters made fun of me, (fit with a snarky tagline), and then he made fun of me and laughed at me. We thankfully broke up not long after that.
My footage is probably in the interwebs somewhere, alongside other epic news interviews like the “I like turtles” kid.
I have not seen the segment to this day, and despite the humiliation I still went through with the audition, but no I didn’t become the next “American Idol.” 😂
Been there. I was telling a coworker about my family and forgot the names of my grandkids. The look she gave me was not one of empathic understanding.
Just yesterday I was at pickle ball and asked another player if there was a dress code, like tennis. Only I got as far as “Is there a. . .” And couldn’t make any more words, so after an awkward pause I finally just gestured helplessly to my clothing, and fortunately, she grokked what I was trying to ask and graciously answered.
Thanks for nothing, brain.
It happens. If Alan doesn’t understand that, too bad for him. As my husband always said, “Fuck ’em if they can’t take a joke.”
This is why we talk to other women. We can fill in the gaps in our heads and answer with another garbled example of wordishness that the other person miraculously automatically translates. My dad used to be driven to distraction by this and called it ‘talking Greenethorpe (tiny hamlet my mother was from) again’. You are for us, Jenny.
I once called my daughter by my own name. I could say it was because I was extremely tired, but really, it was just one of those days.
Ok random tangent but “I am not for you” reminds me of an iconic line from the podcast Old Gods of Appalachia, which if you haven’t listened to you totally should!
These comments are hilarious! I’m loving this. I say the wrong thing at funerals EVERY time! My son asked me not to talk at the last wake we went to. Ugh, I agree with him. LOL
Felicia Day is wearing a nowhere shirt!!
https://youtube.com/shorts/qQ3cLVllhxU?si=sQcaBTqmCG0Hwhy9
OK. I am not at all good with names – persons, places, both are problems. But thus far (fingers crossed) I have always known my own name. So maybe panic made your mind go blank, but unless this is a one off maybe might be worth checking in with the doctor/pharmacist just in case this is the warning shot across the bow indicating a problem. Or you could totally channel your inner amnesiac of choice & have fun with that:)
Oooohhhh I forget my name a bunch also I forget my birthday, phone number and pretty much everything in general but random facts no one needs to know like snails have 4 noses stick with me FOREVER
…or ‘hold your own’??
Ha ha! Buffering. I haven’t heard that term in YEARS.
I love you people so much. YOU ARE ALL FOR ME.
In another career I suddenly started trying to open my usual door into the building…with my house key. I had been in the same building for at least 8 years and suddenly my brain turned of the habit of accessing the office with the badge hanging from my neck.
Witnessed by colleagues fairly frequently, too.